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headlines found matching 'tow'
Mon April 23, 2018
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Oil prices drop on rising US borrowing costs and after Iran's oil minister says oil producers may not need to extend their deal to limit production. In other news, local gas prices in subby's town went up another 4 cents over the weekend
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Townhall)
 
 
 
Townhall: This is fine
source: townhall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 22, 2018
(Wilkes-Barre Times Leader)
 
 
 
Man arrested for patronizing a prostitute tells police he's self-employed. After being reminded that he's currently the mayor of the neighboring town, he replies "for now"
source: timesleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 20, 2018
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Slouching towards Idiocracy: "Diamond & Silk to Testify Before House Judiciary Committee"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
'Humpty' the tortoise recovering after vet fixes broken shell, now slowing leading toward Burger King bathroom
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Some very fine people are heading to a small German town to celebrate Hitler's birthday
source: news.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 19, 2018
(MacWorld)
 
 
 
Apple's iPhone X continues to struggle, as it only contributed 35 percentage points toward the company's 86 percent dominance of smartphone profits worldwide
source: macworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
Boobies
 
Breastfeeding now allowed on the Senate floor, continuing our downward spiral towards the nanny state
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Bad plumbing in curry joints turns UK town's rivers yellow. Officials having naan of it
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
At the UN's "most important meeting on women's empowerment," Trump administration officials tried to steer policy toward teaching women abstinence and sexual "refusal skills" except when they're Playboy models or porn stars and the men are wealthy
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 18, 2018
(News.com.au)
 
Boobies
 
Tuck yourself back inside side-boob, there's a new cleavage trend in town flopping around called the "underboob"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 17, 2018
(CNN)
 
 
 
"♪♪ New York, New Yoooork., what a wonderful town ♫". Except for the mice who carry previously unseen viruses as well as bacteria capable of causing life-threatening human illness
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Saving Country Music)
 
 
 
Another shallow album from Jason Aldean, the Vin Diesel of country, who augments his sound with the usual arena-rock guitars, electronic drums, and rapping. "Rearview Town would be disappointing if you expected more from him, but you don't"
source: savingcountrymusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Sean Hannity's ethics are under fire, much the way subby's dog's rampant immorality comes under fire when he goes to town on his genitals. More than 3 licks is just decadence, Spud
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Remember the NY hedge fund billionaire that 'volunteered' as a reserve officer of a small New Mexico town? He's found a small town in Colorado that needed a pickup truck
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 16, 2018
(Indy100)
 
 
 
"Murray was on The Death March west from Birkenau as Russian soldiers advanced from the east. He was tired, cold, and hungry. He saw something in the air, descending towards him. It hit him in the chest, and he caught it. A 2-lb piece of roast beef"
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Check out the 50 weirdest town names in North America. Come for Bacon Level, stay for Big Beaver
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 15, 2018
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Don't f*ck with high school students. Mike Pence's hometown had their first LGBT Pride parade
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 13, 2018
(Journal News)
 
 
 
Town elders from "Footloose" reappear in NYC suburbs, saying ain't no way them lewd and sinful arcades will set up shop in their town, nosirreebob
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Sarah Sanders will address the issues facing the busytown of DC. What Lowly excuses will she make for Mr. Frumble? This is sure to be quite the Scarry spectacle. Starts nowhere close to 2:30PM EDT
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
That blue wave may overwhelm the Senate. Someone should grab some towels
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 12, 2018
(UEFA Champions League)
 
 
 
The 2nd leg of the Europa League is today. Arsenal travel to Moscow;Sporting Lisbon hosts Atlético Madrid;Salsburg has Lazio in town; andMarseille has RB Leipzig. Hosts all looking to overcome deficits from the first leg. All games kick off at 3:05ET
source: uefa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump issues his latest "full confidence in" tweet towards...*rolls die*...his own "special counsel" Ty Cobb
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 11, 2018
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
In the 1960s, a monkey escaped from an eighth-floor pet store of the century-old Dayton's department store in downtown Minneapolis into the air conditioning ductwork. He made it as far as the seventh floor
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 10, 2018
(Some Critic)
 
 
 
What to do as a hip critical parent when your young son adores Scrappy Doo, Tow Mater, or Jar Jar Binks? "Obviously I do not enjoy the character as much as him. In fact, I find him rather annoying. But Scrappy Doo was not created for me"
source: nathanrabin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
The search warrant used to raid Manafort's house is unsealed as Manafort challenges its validity in court, including the bit where agents were authorized to seize records "pertaining to any of the attendees of the June 9 2016 meeting at Trump Tower"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
New Shoreham, Rhode Island bans balloons, Will fine violators $200. Town confident no one will drive into town with them now. Oh, and a happy birthday to all you kids stuck there
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 09, 2018
(Metro)
 
 
 
Rotten Robbie from the kids' show LazyTown has the inoperable rot
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Topless protester charges toward Bill Cosby at start of sex assault retrial
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Turns out living in Trump Tower is like living in the Hotel California
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canada celebrates watching 21 swans march into the water. "A cavalcade of pipes and drums led the birds toward the Avon River"
source: kitchener.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 08, 2018
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Guess who lobbied heavily against requiring sprinklers in high rises? I'll give you a hint: His tower has had two fires this year alone. Sad!
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 07, 2018
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Four alarm metaphor breaks out at Trump Tower in NYC
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 06, 2018
(The Hill)
 
 
 
A reusable headline every two weeks between now and November: "Cook Political Report moves (XX) House races toward Dems"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 05, 2018
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A proctologist called Dr Butts, a pastry chef called Baker - is it sheer coincidence, or does the universe have a way of pushing people towards careers that reflect their names?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
MBA programs at Stanford, University of Pennsylvania, and Georgetown are adding more fedora classes
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Georgia town declares April to be Confederate History Month. Then things get super racist
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 04, 2018
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Teen learns the hard way why you should never tow a sled behind a moving vehicle
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Abandoned train holding 10 million pounds of human poop leaves small town's residents quoting Lynyrd Skynyrd lyrics
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
After some "unauthorised" spring cleaning, German town can nazi the swastika on its Hitler bell
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Subby was going to come up with something clever about the world's smallest village being for sale, but it is located in Shartlesville, so the founding fathers of that town really deserve the green light, just for naming the town Shartlesville
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 03, 2018
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Jenna Fischer did an entire late night interview wearing only a towel and you've already clicked away. *Jim looks at the camera*
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
SC town asks voters to write in their suggestion for its name change, with predictable results
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
Top 10 strangest small towns in America. You'll never guess which state dominates this category (video)
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Now, I'm not completely sure, but I think Trump just asked Congress to declare war on Honduras and order a military strike on the Honduran refugees heading towards the US, or he'd pull NAFTA or something?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 02, 2018
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
A third woman has hit the Trump Tower and Pleasure Palace. Oh the humanity
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
How powerful are high school students becoming? One just organized the first-ever gay parade in Mike Pence's hometown
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 31, 2018
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ambitious senior applies to 20 colleges, with Harvard, Princeton, Northwestern, Yale, University of Pennsylvania, Stanford, Georgetown and Vanderbilt as his top picks. And gets accepted to all 8. Plus the other 12. With full rides to every single one
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 30, 2018
(Twitter)
 
 
 
A second whistleblower has hit CamAnal. Someone get the towels
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Autopsy reveals that the Sacramento Police are the greatest trick-shooters in the world as they managed to shoot Stephon Clark 8 times in the back or side while he "advanced towards them" with a phone in his hand that they mistook for a gun
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Iowa man wins lawsuit over calling his hometown stinky
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Does use of sex dolls transform people into psychopaths, as the article suggests, or do serial killers just gravitate towards them? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Mom charged with leaving toddler in car that was then towed. Plus she had to pay the tow bill and the toddler fee. It adds up
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 29, 2018
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Smart teen snaps up @CarnivalCruise SnapChat handle. Carnival posts billboards featuring Shaq around his hometown asking if they can have it and offers him a free cruise
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 28, 2018
(NBC News)
 
 
 
NYC helicopter crash was caused when the front-seat passenger slid across the bench seat toward the pilot, leaned back, and extended his legs to take a pic of his feet outside the helicopter, snagging his seat belt on the emergency fuel cutoff switch
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
If you're running for office, maybe scrub your Facebook of posts like "Just choked a lady in the bathroom and I don't feel bad at all" and saying "cops should "jump off the highest building in downtown Milwaukee. No one will miss you I promise"
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Here's your updated 2018 Bubble Show scorecard, featuring the shows that could tip towards renewal--or cancellation
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 27, 2018
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Cannabis company sells California town it envisioned as marijuana resort after nothing was actually done to attract new residents because everybody was too high
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Pornhub gives free Premium access to people in towns with sexually-suggestive names
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Now nobody panic, but a Chinese space station is out of control and hurtling towards Earth, and no one knows exactly where it will land. 每个人都紧张
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 26, 2018
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Chinese computer scientists develop hat with brim-mounted infrared LED that can fool facial recognition software, appear to have an unreasonable hatred toward Moby
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 24, 2018
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Mount Etna is "sliding towards the sea." At a rate of about 1/2 inch a year. Thoughts and prayers for all those living within a yard downhill
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
L.A. subway construction unearths a treasure trove of fossils. Although anyone looking for fossils in Southern California usually has to go no further than the Hometown Buffet in Palm Springs
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 23, 2018
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Paul Simon's farewell tour is coming to my town: Is it worth it to see the aging remnants of a favorite band? Or will I just be sadly disappointed? Liter, so I can't share my personal story
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 22, 2018
(KSLA Shreveport)
 
 
 
Mayor of Sulphur, LA skims Fark link about small town in New Jersey, decides to reroute traffic to cut down on congestion of street. Fark: Using Police, Firefighters and utilities employees
source: ksla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engineering.com)
 
 
 
Many have hypothesized that the FIU pedestrian bridge collapse was because the tower and cable stays had not yet been built. They're wrong, though: the tower and stays had no functional purpose, making this even more of a WTF design
source: engineering.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Eagle Tribune)
 
 
 
If you needed a tow truck north of Boston on Wednesday, they were at a funeral. All of them
source: eagletribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 21, 2018
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
George Nader was given immunity for his testimony and oh god, I need a towel
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Scott Pruitt has spent $105,000 on first-class flights since assuming post, extra $5,000 was reportedly spent on creating a giant middle finger attachment that will point towards America while plane is in the air
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
We now know that at least one of the people in the December 2016 Trump Tower meeting was convicted in the 90s for distributing child pornography
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Remember Puerto Rico? Let's check in and see how they are doing 6 months later. Oh. Out of paper towels, I see
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 20, 2018
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Cambridge Analytica further exposed, more Austin bomb trouble, and another sex scandal hits Trump Tower. This is the MSNBC Discussion Thread. Grab your snacks and drinks and join the fun starting at 8PM EDT
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 19, 2018
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Which cities with large homeless populations bus them out of town to be someone else's problem? Pretty much all of them
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Wooly Willy and accomplice busted in drug raid. What do you expect for a guy from Johnstown, Pennsylvania?
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 18, 2018
(MSN)
 
Video
 
"Hey George, that doesn't look like a shipwreck." "That's no shipwreck...that's a submarine...and it's COMING RIGHT TOWARDS US"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 16, 2018
(ESPN)
 
NewsFlash
 
On the bright side, having Trump supporters hold a rally in your town is no longer the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to Charlottesville
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Struggling to find a resolution to customs and border issues presented by Brexit, the British government is moving towards an approach of 'fark it, let's just not bother with border checks'
source: uk.businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 12, 2018
(BBC)
 
 
 
Grab your towels, all you hoopy froods. BBC Radio just launched a new, sixth Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Townhall)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, here's Townhall fantasizing about killing liberals
source: townhall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 11, 2018
(WAPT Jackson)
 
 
 
News: Small Mississippi town gets its first African-American female mayor. Fark: Town aldermen vote to cut her salary 75%
source: wapt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 09, 2018
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man makes a website claiming the town he lives in stinks... this coming from a guy who doesn't realize he lives in... IOWA
source: 97x.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Everything in this small town was idyllic; the power was cheap, people were friendly, there was no chaos. And then the Bitcoin miners came
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 08, 2018
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Here's to 40 years of having a towel packed and ready
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 07, 2018
(The Big Lead)
 
 
 
Why doesn't hockey talk translate to sports talk radio? According to experts in the Boston market, the only hockey fans in Beantown are all at the Bruins game, and the non-hockey fans are bored by the sport and tune out until Sox talk returns
source: thebiglead.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
New Comics (3/7): True, no one needs a comic about competitive dodgeball, but we're getting one anyway. Also, the latest in child assassins, Robert Kirkman, small town barn hauntings, and a boy named Moth. Enjoy
source: outrightgeekery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Still don't believe that the mysterious death planet Nibiru exists? Well someone just captured a video of it hurtling towards Earth
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Did you know it's illegal to sell things with the Presidential Seal on them? Neither does anyone at Trump Tower gift shop, apparently
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 06, 2018
(Wired)
 
 
 
Photoshop something into this abandoned cooling tower
source: media.wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
Will Dolph steal the world title ahead of Fastlane? Will Jinder survive RKO? Will John Cena be on all the shows? Is it possible to get too much Becky Lynch? Smackdown Live from Titletown, 8ET, USA Network
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Chinese space station plummeting towards earth expected to crash within weeks. "For your safety, do not touch any debris you may find on the ground nor inhale vapours it may emit"
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 05, 2018
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Tower Records founder dies at 92 while drinking whiskey and heckle-watching the Oscars
source: amp.sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Officials say there is no threat from the mystery substance that left two people in critical condition, and you should ignore the men in space suits decontaminating downtown. Nothing to see here
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
"It was as if all criminal roads led to Trump Tower," Steele told friends
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Italy edges towards hung parliament, as many Americans look on wistfully, wishing they could hang theirs
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
ICE saves the day by removing 10% of town's population and opening up jobs for real Americans. Just kidding, it's jobs that are "beneath" Americans and the jobs were filled by other immigrants, even after raising wages
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 04, 2018
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Town that managed to keep out Walmart now has to contend with Amazon
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 03, 2018
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Let's check in with UNC Charlotte 49ers proud basketball program at the end of their season in which now former AD Rose ran Mark Price out of town after only 9 games. Oh dear
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 02, 2018
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Your weekly Cape Town running out of water thread. Situation dire. Doo-dah
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
77-year-old Florida man died as he lived: Being towed on his bike by his 66-year-old fiancee in a pickup truck
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Well, we're living here in Allentown - where the mayor is a convicted clown
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SB Nation)
 
 
 
Let's check in with Pitt basketball at the end of their second season after running Jamie Dixon out of town
source: sbnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 01, 2018
(WBBJ TV West Tennessee)
 
 
 
Rural Tennessee town claims title of world's largest grilled cheese after tractor-trailer fire incinerates 44,000 lbs. (Pic, video). In related news, there's enough combustible material in cheese to immolate an entire 18 wheeler, and still leave some
source: wbbjtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Protip: Don't get drunk in West Virginia and have a hankering to go back to your hometown in New Jersey. It might cost you a $1,600 Uber ride
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Congress finally picks up on the Trump Tower Panama scandal, starts asking Trump Organization questions. When it rains, it's a damn monsoon
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 28, 2018
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Sporting goods chain that said they'd stop selling AR-15s after Newtown says they're really, definitely, positively going to stop selling AR-15s after Parkland, may even stick with that until March
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Pull up a chair, make yourself comfortable and let's all enjoy a heart warming story about witness tampering and fast food restaurant assault, featuring a very special appearance by Oopie from Bullet Town
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
In today's "you may want to sit down for this" news, father of Parkland student who claimed CNN scripted the town hall event admits to doctoring e-mails provided to Fox News
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 27, 2018
(Mint Press News)
 
 
 
One of world's largest aquifers is being sought by Coke and Nestle. Capetown better get used to getting their water from vending machines
source: mintpressnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Ammosexuals claim the CNN townhall was a "lynch mob" against gun worshipers
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 26, 2018
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tower-noticing
source: ohhcouture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun February 25, 2018
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Roman takes his final step toward ending the year long coronation. The women have another historic match. Some non-elimination matches are also booked. Will Seth Rollins be given two hours? WWE Elimination Chamber 8pm ET WWE Network
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 24, 2018
(CNN)
 
 
 
During CNN town hall, NRA mouthpiece Dana Loesch slammed the loose background check process America has in place--a process the NRA fought tooth and nail to create
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 23, 2018
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
CNN denies scripting question for Town Hall meeting because of course they are
source: radiotvtalk.blog.ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 22, 2018
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The NRA's Wayne LaPierre today at CPAC: The right to bear arms is "not bestowed by man but granted by God to all Americans as our American birthright"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Congrats, crazy NRA lady from last night's CNN town hall. You may have single-handedly kill off the NRA with everyone under the age of 30. Permanently. For that, you get the "ironic hero" tag
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Capetown residents grateful that day zero has now been moved for the third time, this time to July 9th. At this rate they'll never run out of water
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Burglar who tried to hide from a security camera by putting a towel over his head will now be snapping towels in prison
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 21, 2018
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Someone just called in a bomb threat to Trump Tower in Chicago (LGT Facebook Live Video feed)
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Live thread for the Town Hall on gun control. The NRA just rejected the notion of age limits for assault rifles
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Russia, showing no ill-will towards Latvia because of what happened 30 years ago, is actively interfering with their banking crisis
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Worry not people of Windsor, Ontario, that persistent hum you've been hearing all these years under your Canadian city are probably just giant worms working their way towards you
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
An hour by hour comparison of the presidential response to Newtown vs. Parkland. Thanks Obama
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Ye Golden Knights of Vegas discover Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog has nothing on Mighty Ducks of Anaheim in concourse melee. Fark: dispute started over a rally towel?
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 20, 2018
(NPR)
 
 
 
We didn't expect the leopard to eat our carpet mills, says carpet-making town that voted 70% Trump
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun February 18, 2018
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Uncle Joe Biden is running for president in 2020. He might be just tiptoeing towards it now ..but he's gonna be running. Whether or not he trips because of his age is yet to be seen
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 17, 2018
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
To find out why Montanans dress in layers, visit the little town of Fort Belknap--where temperatures went from -37 to 45 above in one day
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Subby's hometown doesn't appreciate art, police force artist to destroy work
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 15, 2018
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
New Jersey Senator Cory Booker is running for president in 2020. Okay not really, but he did just take another step toward a run
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: I live in a highly religious town. I want to donate old kids clothes; there are two choices: a secondhand store and Christian pregnancy center that discourages choice. Will donating them to the latter betray my belief in pro-choice?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 14, 2018
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Dune Park finally opens in Frank Herbert's hometown. Sandworms to be added later
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
She wants a night home caring for her toddler and bonding. He wants a raucous night on the town. Welcome to the disparate experiences of parenting
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 13, 2018
(Yorkshire Post)
 
 
 
40 years after Fawlty Towers ended, John Cleese is finally back with a new sitcom. And it's written by the same person who penned Terry Gilliam's Brazil
source: yorkshirepost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun February 11, 2018
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
After the election of the first woman mayor in a fundamentalist Mormon town, the citizens naturally embrace her. Just kidding... eleven government employees quit, with one citing his religious objections to working for a woman
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The idyllic vacation town of Bay View Michigan is facing a court challenge to their stated policy of only allowing practicing Christians to become home owners
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 08, 2018
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Grand jury: We give up. This town is run by complete idiots
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 07, 2018
(WGME Portland)
 
 
 
Portland declares citywide parking ban, vehicles left on streets after 10pm tonight will be towed at owner's expense. Take that, cagers
source: wgme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Nevada gubernatorial candidate wants to take the entire $750 million subsidy from the Raiders' stadium and put the money towards education. Will also donate entire salary
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Tesla roadster is headed past Mars orbit, out towards Ceres. Now what could Elon Musk possibly want to do with an asteroid? Uh-oh
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 05, 2018
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Raw heads toward the elimination of chamber (and not the porcelain kind). Roman tries for his spot as we find out which women will be historic. WWE Raw 8pm EST USA
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun February 04, 2018
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
The most expensive Super Bowl commercials ever made include the one with Eminem, the one with Britney Spears, and the one depicting a community doing whatever it takes to guarantee a Budweiser delivery truck makes it to their town
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 03, 2018
(USA Today)
 
 
 
What's next for Cape Town when they run out of water?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 02, 2018
(Cullman Times)
 
 
 
After trying to run for town sheriff, gay Republican cop learns the party just barely tolerates him
source: cullmantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Serial plane stowaway has bizarre outburst in court
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
If you plan on going to Gobbler's Knob here are some tips. Missing: Don't drive angry. In fact, don't drive. There's no parking on Gobbler's Knob. You'll have to either walk there from downtown Punxsutawney or catch a shuttle bus
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 01, 2018
(Politico)
 
 
 
The "eighth man" at the infamous Trump Tower meeting with a Russian lawyer has been dumb enough to sue a democratic pundit for libel over on-air comments about the meeting -- meaning every participant in that meeting can now be deposed under oath
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cape Town races to avert a water shortage Day Zero. Doo-dah
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Most stowaways are confined to the brig, this one however was given a luxury suite and a 24-hour attendant
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Shocker: Town sued within a week of banning non-residents from using shortcut to George Washington Bridge. Town says, "Fark, thought we could get away with it"
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
This is Pennsylvania. We speak English here. Except these 13 towns
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 31, 2018
(Broadway World)
 
 
 
After the town discovered the founder's statue beheaded, Hiram continues his plans to bring a monorail to the Southside, while Archie is warned to "stay out of Springfield". Will Jughead discover Jellybean shot Mr. Blossom? "Riverdale" 8 PM ET on CW
source: broadwayworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Please ignore the radiation-scanning helicopters searching downtown for nukes, nothing to see here
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 30, 2018
(BBC)
 
 
 
The BBC's Mastermind reveals list of banned subjects due to either too many people selecting them, or the subject matter being too vague. Harry Potter & Fawlty Towers I understand, but Pork?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Drug companies ship 20.8 million prescription painkillers to a West Virginia town in a 10 year period. Difficulty: Town has a population of 2,900
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 28, 2018
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Chicago's "Serial Stowaway" arrested again at O'Hare airport less than two weeks after her previous arrest. Judge decides to put her on an United flight as punishment
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 27, 2018
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Do you know the hardest to pronounce town in your state? Come and visit Osawatomie .. don't forget to see Gnadehutten
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 26, 2018
(USA Today)
 
 
 
There is no NFL or officiating bias toward the New England Patriots based on thorough, longitudinal research from neutral observer "Patriots Wire"
source: patriotswire.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 24, 2018
(News 8000 La Crosse)
 
 
 
Wisconsin takes its first steps toward full legalization of... never mind
source: news8000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 22, 2018
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Today's episode of millennials kill: "There's a Costco to one side and a Sam's Club to the other. But when she needs 12-packs of paper towels or 36 rolls of toilet paper, she heads online instead"
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 21, 2018
(WVVA Beckley)
 
 
 
West Virginia town hit hard by flooding now faces a 33 percent water rate hike. You bet someone has a problem with this
source: wvva.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 20, 2018
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
"Serial Stowaway" is at again but this time doesn't make it far... only from Chicago to London. TSA response: "I'm helping"
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Blake Griffin and the Clippers help L.A. schoolchildren with vision issues. If that works, they'll go across town and see if they can give Lonzo Ball some glasses to improve his 35% shooting average
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 19, 2018
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
'Day Zero' is the date when the Cape Town, South Africa reservoirs run dry and it officially runs out of water. As of today, Day Zero is expected to occur on April 22nd
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Faced with a government shutdown, the president shows his dedication to this country by skipping town to his golf club before end of business today
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 18, 2018
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Mom who homeschools her daughter doesn't get why she can't ride public school buses around town. "Let's not punish each other because we've decided to educate our children in different ways"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 17, 2018
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"A 'potentially hazardous' monster asteroid the size of Hyde Park is heading towards Earth at 67,000mph." That's roughly 45 RPM...or 45 Rhode Islands per minute
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 12, 2018
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
A second porn star has hit Trump Tower
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Washington Post reporter put on leave for secretly participating in a liberal activists' conference, which means she'll never work in that town again until maybe a month or so from now
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
NASA has a probe that will travel at 430,000 MPH towards the center of our solar system. The Sun is there (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 11, 2018
(Pix11)
 
 
 
New Jersey man's houseboat gets stuck in solid ice. Thankfully not a euphemism
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 10, 2018
(Politico (Europe))
 
 
 
Got a pic of that Eiffel tower at night? You are a goshdarn criminal. What other crimes are you casually committing you filthy animals?
source: politico.eu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Almighty Prosperity Jesus bestows riches on the deserving so that we may easily identify and bless them. And fark the poors, for they have been forsaken by Almighty Prosperity Jesus. Which category are you?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 08, 2018
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
By "clarifying" that Manafort committed the treason at the 2016 Trump Tower meeting, Bannon may have also confirmed part of the "fake news" dossier. Ooops
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Shiat Tower's on fire, yo
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Town encourages children as young as 5 to smoke. Call For Philip Morris
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 07, 2018
(Fox Sports)
 
 
 
It's an all FA Cup weekend, starting with Leicester at Fleetwood Town, then Chelsea at Norwich City, Southampton at Fulham, and Manchester City hosting Burnley. But really, we're all just here for Wycombe Wanderers vs Preston North End
source: foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 05, 2018
(Press of Atlantic City)
 
 
 
Breaking news, small town version: Local bar stays open during blizzard
source: pressofatlanticcity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 04, 2018
(AL.com)
 
 
 
New Hueytown police chief takes oath of office, Deweytown and Louietown are next on the docket
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 03, 2018
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hindu monk tows van around with his penis. Not as efficient as AAA, but much more entertaining
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Wow, it's cold. "HOW. COLD. IS IT?" It's so cold, Canadian towns are cracking open
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Can we save these forgotten towns of America or should people just leave them?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WIVB)
 
 
 
Project to turn water tower into giant hamburger: "I think it's kind of silly actually"
source: wivb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WV Gazette Mail)
 
 
 
Certain activities should be avoided while drinking. Throwing a hatchet sounds like one of them, especially at a downtown bar
source: wvgazettemail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 02, 2018
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Listen, lad. All the job creators said I was daft to build a big box store in a Pennsylvania hicktown, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It went bankrupt. So, I built a second one. That went bankrupt. So I built a third one
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 01, 2018
(Cageside Seats)
 
 
 
New Year and New Hope in WWE. Will Vince keep his resolution building toward a Brock-Roman Mania? Will tonight feature Big Show in a diaper? Will the women do something historic before the historic rumble match? WWE Raw 8pm ET USA
source: cagesideseats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Muscatine Journal)
 
 
 
Iowa town bans Santa for 6 months
source: muscatinejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 30, 2017
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
For every hit song, there's a lawsuit claiming it was stolen. Or, in regards to "Uptown Funk", a whole bunch of lawsuits
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
As we move towards the biggest bowl games of the season, here are four for you for Saturday as we have the Taxslayer, the Liberty, the Fiesta and the Orange Bowls. The action is sure to be exciting and kickoff is at Noon ET on ESPN and ABC
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 29, 2017
(Eater)
 
 
 
The last train to Flavortown departs December 31st
source: ny.eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
You just witnessed a van slowly jump the curb and hit a building in downtown Seattle. Do you A) Check on status of injured, B) Call 911 or C) Beat the crap and curse out the driver who already had a medical episode?
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 28, 2017
(The Cheat Sheet)
 
 
 
This is the reason you don't put a restaurant in every city and town in the country and clog the market (Warning: Slideshow)
source: cheatsheet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 26, 2017
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia hopes chess tournament where Jews are banned and women must wear robes will help the country attain modern-day cultural relevance... or at least baby steps towards 15th-century relevance
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Thinking of finally washing your dirty windows? Don't throw in the towel. Do it the right way - like a pro
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 25, 2017
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Trump wants everyone to know that he is NOT afraid of impeachment. nope, not at all. he's perfectly calm and not worried. just look at how NOT worried Trump is. Oh, and Merry Christmas and good will towards someone blah blah
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Town in N.J. tries to prevent non-residents from driving on its streets. "Freie Fahrt für freie Bürger" is obviously a foreign concept
source: mobile.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 24, 2017
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Take a trip to the only town in America that wasn't forced by Obama to stop saying "Merry Christmas"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump leaning strongly toward cleaning house with the start of the new year, getting rid of all the people he doesn't trust and bringing in some more sycophants, er... new staffers
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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