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| Wed June 20, 2018 |
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My daughter won't do any charity work or volunteer work, finding ways to get out of it or pawn the work off on someone else. Yet her siblings all do their share. Is she selfish? Hell, selfish, it sounds as if she's management material
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Discovery of the earliest known domestic dogs suggests Americans had canine companions more than 10,000 years ago. Your dog wants a Giant Ground Sloth for Wetnose Woofday Wednesday
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Texas billboard tells liberals to keep driving until they leave the state. Liberals say way ahead of you on that
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As usual, Apple has worms. Hot, hot worms chewing up your battery and barfing on your camera
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Motivational quote for today: "It might feel bad to make a mistake, but at least you didn't do anything as bad as send a motivational quote from a Nazi general to all the students at a university"
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Did rappers Soldier Kidd & Soldier JoJo out themselves as XXXTentacion's killers on Instagram? You may still post "who?" to the right
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Did rappers Soldier Kidd & Soldier JoJo out themselves as XXXTentacion's killers on Instagram? You may still post "who?" to the right
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Jeff Bezos has received a strongly worded letter from groups demanding he stop selling his facial recognition technology... LOL, including his shareholders
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According to the Romero Institute of Cybermedia and Blogging Studies, young adults remember bad social media experiences far more vividly than good ones, exacerbating their depressive tendencies
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Multiple people stabbed after huge brawl breaks out on Coney Island beach. No word if the Warriors came out to play
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Your team scored a last minute goal to beat Tunisia in the World Cup, so you might want to try and stay alive for the next match (possible nsfw content on page)
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Real estate advertisements include one about a prisoner-of-war, and another about a dead man during his wake
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Real estate advertisements include one about a prisoner-of-war, and another about a dead man during his wake
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| Tue June 19, 2018 |
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Good food tastes better when it is served by an attractive lady, say most men
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In wake of Osaka earthquake, Twitter buzz begins fingering foreigners for unspecified "crimes" committed against native Japanese. "Who are those Koreans poisoning water in the wells every time a quake happens?"
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Soaked Keanu grimly soldiers on while filming rainy scene for John Wick 3 in Times Square
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Amid the uproar over taking children away from parents at the border, the State Department thinks it's a dandy time to give "tips for traveling with kids" on Facebook Live. Goes about as well as you'd expect
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"Ooh ooh ooh eee eee eee aah aah aah" "What is it, Cheeta?" "Ooh ooh ooh eee eee eee aah aah aah" "What, the leopard has fallen in the well? You take care of it I'm busy"
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My husband refuses to get a vasectomy despite the fact that I've told him to on multiple occasions. Should I start withholding sex from him until he obeys?
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Spray parks are a great way to cool off in the heat of the summer... unless they're spraying raw sewage all over your kids. POOP FOUNTAIN!
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Spray parks are a great way to cool off in the heat of the summer... unless they're spraying raw sewage all over your kids. POOP FOUNTAIN!
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The enduring mystery over who actually drinks advocaat may have been solved
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Donald Trump's Twitter derp is now full wharrgarbl. What comes after full wharrgarbl?
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Saudi Arabia's entertainment chief fired after backlash over Russian circus nudity. And by 'nudity', I mean 'women wearing skin-tight clothing'
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The EU declares war on memes. Everybody panic
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Prodeum - which promised to revolutionize the fruit and vegetable industry - replaced its website, post-ICO, with a white screen that contained just one word. "Penis"
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The band As I Lay Dying reunites after lead singer is released from jail for As I Hired A Hitman To Kill My Wife
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If you're a college pitching coach, maybe don't use a dildo called the "dick of death" as a teaching/motivational tool
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On the channel that used to be ABC Family and housed the 700 Club two women have a frank discussion about cunnilingus, lesbian cunnilingus during prime time. Prime time indeed
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"We're Proud To Announce The First Genital Recognition Software." Pretty sure that's been on Fark for years
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"Germany defeats Mexico"
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| Tue June 05, 2018 |
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Body of man 'obsessed' with Breaking Bad is found wrapped in plastic in New Mexico desert. Strangely not part of the script
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Twitter has a policy of removing suspending users who make threatening tweets. Unless that user happens to be the "supreme leader" of Iran
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Kim Kardashian reveals purple monkey dishwater photosynthesis orangutan
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Fast forward to 10:30 to get to the underwater camera shot of crab traps in Louisiana. Then wait for it - crab fight
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Your official state twitter account might be a Russian bot
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Why are all those men waving flags at me? Is it a parade? They're wearing pretty orange vests. Hey, barricades, it is a parade. I'm gonna text all my friends. AHHHHHHHHHHH (with pics)
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Curiosity found something interesting on Mars, but NASA won't say what until Thursday. Which is pretty much what you'd expect from NASA if they were about to announce finding a colony of Martian lizard people. Just sayin
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Pioneered by Microsoft as "embrace, extend and extinguish", all American tech giants now actively patrol the "kill zone", eliminating startups and scaring off any VCs inclined to fund them
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Remember the dancing FBI agent who accidentally shot somebody? There's video, he looks even more Responsible-Gun-Ownerish than we imagined. (Dumbass, Stupid, and Asinine tags duck for Followup tag)
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| Tue May 29, 2018 |
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The biggest lies from the ad tech world. Wait, you mean people don't want to be stalked, tracked, and followed online? Ask Bill Hicks to fetch me my fainting couch
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MSNBC asks Joy Reid what it takes to get fired from a TV show
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So, apparently, the biased fake news media had the story of the Trump-Stormy Daniels pay-offs weeks before the election, but sat on it for some reason
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Photographer at a breaking news event gives Fox News a NSFW reply when they ask to use his photos, which was then promptly ignored. Then the copyright trolls showed up
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According to this one former player, playing for the New England Patriots sucks
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If you lose out to a man in a chicken costume on a reality dating show, you need to reevaluate your life choices, as proven by last night's episode of The Bachelorette [Warning: Spoilers]
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Separating fact from fiction in the 1,500 missing immigrant children story
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Kylie Minogue sure doesn't look fifty
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| Wed May 23, 2018 |
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Paul Bettany has been a famous wordsmith, a religious devotee, an even more intense religious devotee, a tennis player in love, a sweater-wearing robot, and, most recently, a be-robed crime lord with the same last name as a premium water company
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German company Super Dickmann's lives up to its name
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Why no NHL players made the World Fame 100 list, the most famous athletes in sports
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Seriously, which one of you hated your child so much you named him/her after the Queen Beeyotch of the Universe? Wait, which 11 of you?
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Pawn shop posts sign: "We sell AR-15's because we're not Dick's." Discovers a lot of people think they are
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"Dear Prudence: I moved to a new city nine months ago; I've started building a group of friends, mostly coworkers and roommates. I turn 30 soon; no one is planning on throwing a party. Would it be gauche to plan my own milestone and invite them?"
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| Fri May 18, 2018 |
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♫Spider-Man, Spider-Man, does whatever a spider can, hang around on a train, in Boston sun or rain, Look Out, here comes the Spider-Man.♫
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Tonight, on Agents of SHIELD, The fate of the Earth rests in the hand of Phil Coulson. Unless the agents can stop Graviton the time loop will remain unbroken and next season start in space... again. (ABC 9ET)
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Tickle Me, Fleury
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👨🏻🧙🧙🧙 👴🏻👑 👩 😡 👨🏻🗡 👴🏻😵👨🏻👑
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The crazy is strong in this one: half-sister to Harry's bride, irked that she wasn't invited to the wedding, will host a full formal attire reception at her FL trailer park
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Table manners keep societies from collapsing - and we need new ones
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A famous Belgian clown known for performing in children's hospitals live-streamed a rooftop armed standoff with police after allegedly murdering his ex-girlfriend. Pennywise nods head in approval
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There's gold in them thar rectums
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Dressing up as Deadpool for the new movie sounds like fun until you get arrested for terrorism
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"Hey, buddy, whatcha doin' up here? Shootin' stuff? Yeah, that's cool. This is a good spot for it. Well, gotta go. Good luck, eh"
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Squirrel causes a huge power outage at Busch Gardens Tampa Bay. Beer and freakishly oversized testicles may have been involved, according to the American Public Power Association's "squirrel index"
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| Fri May 11, 2018 |
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"My joint pain went away, my sleep became excellent, my skin improved. I no longer had any bloating, cramping or other digestive problems, my libido went back to what it was in my 20s and my blood pressure normalised" - Shawn Baker, Carnivore King
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Miami airport asks Orlando airport to prom. Of course, it probably won't work out, as they both have lots of baggage
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Who'd have thought that the term "hairless puppy" could become a euphemism for something rude? Facebook, apparently
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Now that they figure the Internet has moved on and nobody's really paying attention anymore Texas charter school has reinstated teacher who caused an uproar by assigning kids homework asking them to list the positive and negative aspects of slavery
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Elks Club Secretary calls cops on disruptive, drug-using, trespassing Black gang, errr, champion high school poets who were scheduled to be honored at the club that evening. Fortunately jailarity, shootarity do not ensue
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Mum unwittingly buys penis-shaped pasta at market, cooks and serves it to her two young daughters, is so "mortified" she posts incident to Facebook where Britain's best news site hoovers it up
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FOX decides not enough people have been deriding them for canceling great shows lately, doubles-down with an 86 for the 99
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Klout, the company which scored your social media "influence" and rewarded you for it, is finally dead. Thank God
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Klout, the company which scored your social media "influence" and rewarded you for it, is finally dead. Thank God
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