headlines found matching 'social media' NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Tue August 11, 2020 |
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The likely winner of the Belarusian election (prior to rigging) has been found...in exile in Lithuania. But at least she hasn't fallen out of a poorly made Russian third story window yet, so that's something. Right?
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Atlanta In-Person School Update: Seven days in and the first full school closure starts tonight. Discussion about when to close them all has now started
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Remember a couple weeks ago when the cult lost their minds over a video of a Bible being burned in Portland? Yeah, turns out the video was Russian disinfo, and the NY Post, Federalist, and Junior all swallowed it hook line and sinker
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If you call Hitler "Führer," name your real estate company after a term popular among white nationalists, and post pictures on Instagram from your vacation to Hitler's vacation home, perhaps you shouldn't be running for Congress
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Police Chief says officer followed standard procedures when arresting and handcuffing an 8-year-old disabled boy, which kind of seems like the actual problem here
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Now, young Skywalker, you will die
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Furious police forced to break up the stupid at nude beach for a 'coronavirus beach party' that was designed to spread the killer disease (possible nsfw content on page)
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Liberty University appoints new acting Jerry
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Sovereign Citizen Antifa Maskhole Constitutionalists now being exported to Mexico. Si, loco norteamericano hits all of the above while squabbling in his new country
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| Mon August 10, 2020 |
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Facebook's non-partisan and fact-based approach to news and information has resulted in a QAnon population numbering in the millions on their platform alone
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China arrests pro-democracy Hong Kong media tycoon. Will Trump criticize China for something he desperately wants to do himself?
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Alyssa Milano: "I was acutely sick with Covid-19 in April. I still have many symptoms. I am what they call a 'long hauler.'"
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Chicago Mayor Lightfoot sounding like Commissioner Gordon: "We are coming for you"
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Meanwhile, in Canada
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Hey now, you're a cough star, got no mask on, get slayed
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Governor Kemp of Georgia using the Scooby-Doo villain defense of how the first weeks of school are going
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"Two blood-covered, chainsaw-wielding men emerged from the bushes of a popular public park in Toronto on Sunday morning, where witnesses say they screamed at, followed, and even lunged toward strangers while revving their deadly tools"
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This aggression will not stand, man
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Diamond and Silk are back on TV. Diamond and Pearl unavailable for comment
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Openly gay senator who is working hard to make all laws LGBTQ friendly is now getting death threats from QAnon
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"The irony was delicious. There's Biden briskly riding a bicycle while Trump is at his private country club, where the only exercise he seems to get is getting in and out of his golf cart. Yet Trump is calling Biden "Sleepy"
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Move over NYC Pizza Rat or get eaten, a gigantic slithering snake has taken over the subway system
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How the hell did QAnon go mainstream in the GOP?
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College football players demand creation of players' union
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Dave Chappelle's started doing socially-distant shows, and he brought along Louis C.K. to jerk off six feet away from everyone
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In today's Weird or Cool from Japan: There are sacred horses in Japan, and they like to watch you go poop
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| Fri August 07, 2020 |
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"Almost immune"
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Thanks, social media, you've really been a farking boon to humanity
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Woman says she's been battling severe COVID-19 symptoms for 131 days
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Yup, that just about covers all the bases
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The hoax is coming from inside the house
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On the next episode of "Hoarders": 40 nylon bags of 10-year-old confiscated fireworks were stored right alongside 2,750 tons of confiscated ammonium nitrate. You won't believe what the neighbors said when they found out
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Did Kellyanne of Green Goebbels have her 15 year-old daughter arrested on fake assault charges to keep her off social media? According to her daughter, yes
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Paulding, Georgia school administrators: On second thought, maybe we shouldn't suspend the students involved in posting pictures of our high school hallway jam packed with plague rats
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Ricky Gervais worries he'll be a victim of cancel culture
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NRA being flooded with 'Thoughts and Prayers on social media.' "We'll work on helping, but not now, it's just too soon"
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Anti-maskers explain how it's really about their personal freedom (to endanger and infringe on the freedoms of others)
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You can now make a claim in the $7.5M Google+ security flaw settlement which could be worth a massive $0.000002 after attorney fees and other costs are deducted
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"We've been lax with our 9 and 6-year-old kids ever since schools shut down in March. There was a little bit of learning. Then when summer hit, everything got way looser. Later bedtime, more screentime. How do we go back to being disciplinarians?"
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| Mon August 03, 2020 |
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Adorable raccoons show off their finger paintings
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The mango Mussolini is now claiming his approval rate is higher than Obama's. Yes he's serious, and don't call me Shirley
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Half of Canadians believe unfounded COVID-19 theories: the virus was engineered in China; the virus is a cover up of 5G effects; hydroxychloroquine can cure it; or rinsing your nose with a saline solution can protect you from infection
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Half of Canadians believe unfounded COVID-19 theories: the virus was engineered in China; the virus is a cover up of 5G effects; hydroxychloroquine can cure it; or rinsing your nose with a saline solution can protect you from infection
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Subby wants to play Battleship with Iran
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Bi woman in poly relationship harassed for not being bi enough because it's 2020 and that's how we do things now (possible nsfw content on page)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today is National Grab Some Nuts Day, the one day of the year where the Fark Squirrel is at his most nervous
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Two restaurants have filled that void in our hearts which we all vaguely sense but can never pin down or put a name to. Presenting the pierogi taco
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"You've got to remember that these are just simple blathering stooges. These are people of the social media. The common clay of the new GOP. You know... morons"
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When considering whether or not to reopen schools amid a pandemic, remember that your young children are the most likely to survive, and if they're lucky, they may even have other relatives to take care of them after you die
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Elon Musk, "Is such a thing possible?". Ancient Egyptian theorists, "No"
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After the Adams trade, NY Jets don't have a single one of their eight first-round picks from 2011 through 2017
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Scienticians identify new source of Covid outbreaks: boredom
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Scienticians identify new source of Covid outbreaks: boredom
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Lego broke the internet, bottom of your foot
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| Fri July 31, 2020 |
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Tonight on Smackdown: Can Uncle Allen hold off the King of the Ropes? Will Bayley's ego write a check that Nikki can cash? Naomi deserves better but still gets stuck facing Lacey & how are Mandy and Otis doing? Find out starting at 8 PM ET on FOX
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Negative, Ghostwriter, the content management system is full
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Americans who get their news from social media are more likely to be wrong about that news. People who pay just $5 per month excluded
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Phillie Phanatic talks to himself about how weird it is being the only person in the stands at baseball ballgames right now
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If you missed the Fyre Festival, the U.S. Marshals are auctioning off all the leftover merch
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Shark attacks in the ocean have you swimming in the lakes instead? Don't read this article (disturbing image warning)
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Video shows Trump only voted by mail after failing to commit voter fraud in person
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Pinterest up across the board
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| (Some Guy) |
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No, Melania's Mt. Rushmore dress didn't feature drawing by victims of child sex-trafficking to raise awareness of their plight, it was just a really ugly dress
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Dude, one cannot just swim in an aquarium in his underwear to be one with the fishes
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Coca-Cola to introduce an alcoholic drink called Topo Chico. Oh Eddie
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Target Tonya loses clients, husband, career because of masks, now has some regerts
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| Wed July 29, 2020 |
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BoJo's plan to get us cycling again gets off to a rocky start as the website set up to issue free £50 bike repair vouchers crashes within a yoctosecond of going live
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In other news, LeBron James won't power down his phone
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Women sentenced to 2 years in prison for making TikTok videos. Seems lenient
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Police in NJ towns tell residents they will be happy to keep an eye on their houses while they are on vacation according to Officers Harry Pesci and Marv Stern
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The privacy paradox: we say we care about our data, so why don't we - OOOH LOOK - NEW TIKTOK FACEPAGE GOOGLE VIDEO GAME APP
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Goddamn
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Good news for all the rich turdblossoms paying to summit Mount Everest each year: Now you can enjoy full 5G cell service while riding comfortably on the back of your assigned Sherpa. Sure, the Chinese might be monitoring your call, but whatevs
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Ordinary average size ocean sunfish baffles beachgoers after washing up on Aussie shore. Since this is a kooked-up British tabloid article, it's a HUGE 6ft 'alien creature' (possible nsfw content on page)
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Weather man fired for saying which way the wind's blowing
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Wisconsinites aren't worried about Chicago's quarantining of their state as people "want to live in their summer homes"
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After saying dead protesters would "blend in with the pavement," Kentucky special education teacher resigns to spend more time with her white hood and burning cross
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This, my friends, is a real Canadian scandal
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"We chose the name Humorolethalis sergius. It sounds like lethal humor and is derived from the Latin words humorosus, meaning wet or moist, and lethalis meaning dead"
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Somebody messed up a mundane detail at Etsy, causes merchants to be charged 100x their normal shipping fees. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
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Play stupid games, win half your restaurants closing permanently cause you couldn't do what every other business did and shutter during a health emergency
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| Tue July 28, 2020 |
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A skydiving trip will cost an arm and a leg but, if you're lucky, you might get the leg back
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Sick of Working From Home? Just change your definition of Home. Barbados is offering 1 year visas for remote workers. Offer not valid in USA
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Someone gives you a gun, you give them a trumpet. That's the New Orleans way
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Looks like Social Media companies are gonna get a grilling about their role in destroying democracy right before the November elections. Put a shrimp on the barbie for all of us, Australia
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I was not seig heiling, it's all a misunderstanding, and even if I was seig heiling, which I totally wasn't, I have a first amendment right to seig heil all I want to, not that I was doing that, even though the photos look like me seig heiling
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Bumped Belarusian BTRs Bounce
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Remember the mysterious "Umbrella Man" whose Auto Zone window smashing became the spark that led to days of rioting in Minneapolis? You'll never guess who it was
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Remember the mysterious "Umbrella Man" whose Auto Zone window smashing became the spark that led to days of rioting in Minneapolis? You'll never guess who it was
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"My friend has been quarantining alone for months. She's convinced that she's having an emotional relationship with a ghost living inside her apartment and that there is a sexual component to it. Should I be concerned about her mental health?"
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Let's hear it for the Washington "_______________'s" - What's in a name? Just ask the New York Jews
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If you pay the extra for the VIP package, you can also have a microwave, TV, refrigerator & potted plant.....in your cell
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"How do I know if my teenager is in a polyamorous relationship?"
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Tom Hanks is officially Greecy
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MmmStop
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| Fri July 24, 2020 |
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There's always a moment between saying, "What are you going to do, stab me?" and actually getting stabbed. This is one of those moments
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Garmin held for ransom...Recalculating
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Garmin held for ransom...Recalculating
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Small town musician gets followed on social media by Chrissy Teigen. Since this is on Fark, you can probably guess what happened next. And yes, he wrote a song about it
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| (Some Guy) |
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Many Americans are idiots
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How many mice is a moose?
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Okay, so I have a theory and I fully expect you all to mess it up, but I need more data. If there was nothing barring you from enjoying either, do you prefer alcohol or pot? Are you an introvert or extrovert?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today is National Amelia Earhart Day, in which millions of people all over the world celebrate by checking their attics to make sure she isn't hiding in there
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If you can't trust a "microblading artist, creator, entrepreneur and social media maven" to crack global human trafficking rings operating in plain sight, who can you trust?
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A&E viewership cut in half thanks to this one strange trick
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ProTip: Do not put your knee on the neck of a 2 y.o. child to make your point about BLM
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The US can send a C-17 hospital plane across the world to get a sick Kuwaiti royal. Remember that as you die in debt to your hospital for a broken arm
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Since the Administration seems to want guidelines for COVID-19 to be the Survival of the "Fittest," it is timely that the BBC yesterday released a list of the five best books on evolution
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Kanye says he'll spill family secrets if the Kardashians try to lock him up. Currently holed up in a bunker with Dave Chappelle, who is presumably collecting new material
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What's considered trashy when you're poor, but classy when you're rich? Some ideas to the left, your answers to the right
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| Thu July 16, 2020 |
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BTS is the radical revolution we're craving and yes I sent it to Politics
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Old and busted: Hell to pay for knocking down a statue. New post-soviet hotness: Hell toupee ON a statue
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today is National Get to Know Your Customers Day, and yes, those are the irate people refusing to wear masks and screaming at you from over there
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Canadian Navy is dropping "seaman" to make a gender-neutral title and quit making us laugh
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You know, they just don't make good porn anymore
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The more you tighten your grip, Gmail, the more app systems will slip through your fingers
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How to talk to a conspiracy theorist. You can't obviously, but still, if you want to give it a shot
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"Did Twitch ban you for talking about 5G causing Covid?" "I don't think so. In fact, I-" "What Dr. Disrespect means to say is that he has no idea why he was banned and that's all legal will let him say"
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That's my fetish
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That's my fetish
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You better believe death planning is a growth market these days
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You're gonna need a bigger hoax (possible nsfw content on page)
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"Smelly Kelly"
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Tommy Fisher, CEO of Fisher Industries, said Sunday that he thought the president "just got some misinformation on this stuff" and that he had "complete respect" for Trump... It's amazing how one can hold onto a pocket from underneath a bus
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So you're in the middle of a pandemic and you're having a contract dispute over pay with doctors and surgeons? Do you a) cave and pay them b) bring in arbitration c) try to change the rules so they can't leave? Hint: Alberta
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"I thought if I hoarded all the good names that would keep someone else who might be a pain in the neck from getting them"
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| (Glum Guy) |
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Morphing before-after photos of a Poconos resort. Warning - the before ones are from the hopeful 60's, the after ones are stereotypical of 2020
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Captain America passes shield to littlest Avenger
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Far-right politician calls for removal of Jews. "What we need to do, perhaps more than anything, is remove these people, once and for all, from our country." Difficulty: Canada
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Magaluf closes bars "for the rest of the year" because Britons don't know how to party safely
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| Tue July 14, 2020 |
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"I'd rather vote for a tuna fish sandwich." Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry voter
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"Governor Ducey, that's not social distancing"
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| (Some Cruise Guy) |
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Royal Caribbean may be in deep financial trouble, but they're passing lockdown time by updating their corporate parent name. Also, they'd like you to know their logo is so iconic that their HQ building looks just like it when viewed from space
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Not to be outdone by Floridan Man, Kansas City Man flashes gun at BBQ restaurant employee who asks him to put on a mask
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Kelly Conway violates her daughters freedom of speech. Sad
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Disney presents their new Russian Roulette ride, offering mask-free Covid-19 zones for guests to relax and ... cough cough ... excuse me, I don't feel so hot
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Quote that makes sense in context and is actually a truth everyone should hold as self evident but that can and will be twisted by assholes with agendas, president of AAPD says "everyone will become disabled if they're lucky enough"
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| Mon July 13, 2020 |
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Police chief claims man and three officers all just happened to fall down at same time. Has no explanation for the knee on the neck
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Burn Facebook to the farking ground and salt the smoking rubble, exhibit #7,395
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James Gunn tried to be loud and proud with Velma in the Scooby Doo movies including a kiss between her and Daphne (Sarah Michelle Gellar) that obviously didn't make the final cut. "But, thankfully, the farting remained"
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Big Brother is watching all of us
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Why Boomers suck at technology, unless it involves reposting that FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT KILLARY message to Facebook
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Why Boomers suck at technology, unless it involves reposting that FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD: THE REAL TRUTH ABOUT KILLARY message to Facebook
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White House talking points on Dr. Fauci include...WTF Ben Garrison cartoon?
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So what is it like to be an American in Europe right now
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Frogs are apparently smarter than humans
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Two livestreamers who came down with COVID-19 symptoms at Disney World return the next day to make sure everyone has exactly as much fun as they did
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White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows has come up with a cunning secret plan to catch staffers leaking information to the press, that's lifted from a Tom Clancy novel. And since you are reading about it here on Fark, you know how well it's working
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Owners of shiny new 2020 Corvettes report front trunklid popping up while driving. GM engineers: that's impossible, must be user error
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| Wed July 08, 2020 |
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Hong Kong's Internet now locked up inside China's Great Firewall
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Social media sleuths confuse Illinois youth pastor for man in viral Costco video
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Dallas Cowboys' Poe wants Jerry Jones to support players; Baltimore's Poe wants Jerry Jones to stuff them, feet first, up a chimney
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It's a virtual chicken wing party and you're all invited
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Make terrible movies. Make terrible records. That's fine. But you threaten a puppy, you better be ready for war (possible nsfw content on page)
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People have some strong opinions about a group of intellectuals, artists and reactionaries who don't like being criticized on Twitter
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Slowly I turned, inch by inch
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Kanye: "I'm TOTALLY cool with taking away votes from Biden and helping Trump win"
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Brazil's president says his Covid-19 diagnosis will be cured with hydrochlorbeebopadoola. Good luck with that, doofus
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I know what you're thinking: "I would love to start my day by watching a video of Cardi B getting her vagina bleached." Well today is your lucky day my friend
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Halle Berry transitions from working on film to apologizing profusely for working on film
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How a new Facebook advertising boycott inspired by Black Lives Matter is different than prior efforts. Subby was unsure if the Politics tab trumps the Business one
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How a new Facebook advertising boycott inspired by Black Lives Matter is different than prior efforts. Subby was unsure if the Politics tab trumps the Business one
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You gotta be some kind of special epic stupid to go to a Black Lives Matter protest and yell, "White lives are better." Oh, and you also are now fired from your job
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Protip: You can't misinterpret a Hitler quote if you don't post a quote by Hitler on social media. In short, don't ever quote Hitler. Ever
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Facebook is also a data collection service disguised as social media
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Comics legend Bill Sienkiewicz gets turned down by "Dilbert" creator/aggrieved white man Scott Adams to do draw-off challenge for charity, which is a bit like Leonardo Da Vinci getting turned down by that kid in "Raising Arizona" who draws FART
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| Tue July 07, 2020 |
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