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| Fri February 03, 2023 |
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Ron DeSantis declares drag queens illegal. George Santos inconsolable
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In case you weren't lazy enough, machines can "hand write" your ChatGPT-produced homework too
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We've got goalies taking shots on net, attempts to break the sound barrier, the NHL's version of a dunk tank, the trick shot/SNL sketch mashup known as the Breakaway Challenge, and more. It's the 2023 NHL All-Star Skills Competition @ 7pm ET on ESPN
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Sure, by all means let us have a bunch of ignorant MAGA yahoos shooting randomly into the sky. I don't see what could possibly go wrong
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Covidiots: NFL player Damar Hamlin really died from his Covid-19 shots and a clone, body double or actor has replaced him to conceal "the truth"
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Even God hates Florida
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Judge Mehta: Son, people can see you
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Cybertruck spotted in the wild, looks like it was built in a shed
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Is it hot in here or is it just my hypocaust?
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A second Chinese spy balloon has hiat the north American continent
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House passes the Anything to Make Democrats Look Bad Act of 2023
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Throne cat is watching you poop
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♫ We don't need no education ♫
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If you drive your car backwards, do you hear a message from the devil?
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Brace yourselves, there's a title wave coming
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Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) fights back against the GOP's attacks against her
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Which full length animated film had the best voice cast? LGT examples
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What are some top-tier insults that are not necessarily profane, or are as cutting as they are understated?
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| Wed January 25, 2023 |
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Two things to learn from this tweet: Sign your artwork and it's ok if you don't like thing. Popular meme celebrates 10 year anniversary
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Republican tax plan is so popular that its cosponsors are running away from it and the House Speaker will bring it up only to vote against it
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Chatterbox uses morse code on birdie
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At least three teachers knew that the 6-year-old had a gun before he shot his teacher, but administrators would do nothing to help because "the school day was almost over"
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The origins of a rightwing conspiracy -- how a post from one rando twitter user becomes a congressional investigation in five days
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Eric Swalwell murders Ted Cruz on Twitter. Go Niners
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Nazi scumbag Nick Fuentes has been let back on to Tw...AAAAND he's gone
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Gas Pedal Gaetz hits the "live boy" level of scandal
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Hedgehog hustles it to beat some eggman arse
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The Colorado Avalanche defensive scheme is keeping their shorts cleaner
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In what can only be described as peak modern GOP, the Congressperson who tweeted this out last year is now serving on the Select Subcommittee on the Coronavirus Pandemic
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A&W caves to non-existent Tucker Carlson idiot ball pressure by making their mascot finally put on a goddamn pair of pants
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What I love about Pedro Pascal is his dedication to constant professionalism
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Newsmin
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🎵Love is real, real is love, Love is feeling, feeling love, Love is wanting to be loved, Love is touch, touch is love, Love is reaching, reaching love...🎵
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Will LIJ have better luck facing Okada with Taguchi & YOH? Does Shota Umino have Naito's attention now? Why is Henare being jobbed out to Oskar Leube? Road to THE NEW BEGINNING continues @ 4:30 AM ET on NJPWWorld.com, the King of Sports
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*wooooof wooooof* all aboard the Corgi Express
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The only thing worse than mass shootings in America are the medical bills afterwards
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| Tue January 17, 2023 |
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Doggos find cat after the big dig
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Soon you'll be able to get a new kind of shot in NYC bars, but with extra narcan
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Not News: Police chase last more than a hour Fark: suspect was driving a John Deere at 20MPH
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Dog fetches something rhyming with stick [probably NSFW]
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Matt Schlapp releases statement that his hand hurts from grabbing all that dick, so have some sympathy or envy
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Kyle misses his shot at Vegas
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Gym Jordan uses his Alt account to remind people he's a terrible person
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It just seems like there is some kind of lesson to be learned here
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OK Groomer
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Outnumbered 7 to 1, he shot down 4 MiGs and returned to his aircraft carrier with 263 bullet holes in his fighter jet. 70 years later, this pilot finally gets his Navy Cross
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Judgment Day is here, so let's all join the resistance and travel back in time
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Today is the 15th anniversary of this legendary local Canadian broadcast
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Interviewer to Andrew Tate's lawyer: So what's with this Matrix stuff? Tate's lawyer: LOL, yeah... he's a moron
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Fun with bar charts, scaling edition. Welcome to Munchkinland -- er, Indonesia
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Twitter owes its first interest payment as soon as the end of the month. Since Elon is paying a whopping 11.75% interest, he's looking into securing the debt with margin loans on his Tesla stock
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1955: Mighty Mouse "🎶 Here I come to save the day 🎶" .... 2023: these guys
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Governor Hochul really embraces the meaning of MLK day
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| Fri January 13, 2023 |
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He tried to play Stairway to Heaven
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George knew he was gonna be found out back when he was running in 2021. But dammit, he was gonna keep running no matter what
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Man who shot mountain dies. You'd think dynamite would have worked better
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This is why Trump avoids testifying at all costs
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Jump around, it's finally the weekend
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Matt Berry narrating Prince Harry's book? YES PLEASE
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Trailer for History of the World, Part II. Yes, finally
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Dallas guard your face, the zoo has misplaced a leopard
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Marry, Fark, Kill: Jim Jordan edition
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Medical lab tests employee for political derangement
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Excellent communicator cat WANTS HIS FUD
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WTH, now reporters are self censoring for what is actuallycorrect pronunciation, at least from Subby's perspective
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The Trump Organization fined *pinky in the side of the mouth* $1.6 million
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Ring has been testing an Imperial Probe Droid that patrols your home, but the engineers obviously don't have cats
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Today's amazing life hack: how to jettison that annoying drunk football fan off the subway
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This isn't scantily-clad women lounging on the hood of a car, but hey, you know you want to join the Russian army
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A humble request by Ukraine turned up to 11
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TSA wants you to know they ruined some guy's candle
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Congressman George Santos (R-West Egg)
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| Wed January 11, 2023 |
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These three gentleman introduce themselves as your lifeguards, what do you say?
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Susan Collins (L-ucy with football) is being concerned about the House GOP's plans to destroy Social Security
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Can the Acclaimed unleash the most wicked burn in TV history? Will Tony Khan make a public statement? Who will win the Escalera De La Muerte Match? AEW Dynamite starts @ 8pm ET on TBS, the SuperStation not owned by the government of Saudi Arabia
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House GOP member includes Ukraine in his list of U.S. "adversaries across the world"
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Text messages have surfaced in the Matt Schlapp case
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Turns out cocaine numbs your sense of irony
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Former newspaper editor shares 12 dirty little "secrets" of political journalism that haven't been secrets for literally decades given the dozens of times we've all seen each of these in any given week
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The question is, indoor smoking of what, exactly?
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Liar liar, pants on fire George Santos to Nassau County GOP: Nope, NOPE I will NOT resign
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CNN: both sides are ba... hang on, we have breaking news, we're being told that these two things are not in fact the same
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Owlsplaining
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The party of less government wants pregnant women in Virginia to register with the government
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When some random star comes along and photobombs your big shot FOR SEVEN YEARS
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In 1879, William James Beal began an experiment. He'll be finished in 2101 if no one gets a good head shot
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Oregon Department of Fish & Wildlife would very much like members of the public to stop stealing their cougar sighting signs & putting them up in local bars
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A long time ago, in an era when we didn't yet take it for granted that the government was spying on our every move, one brave soul voted against the Patriot Act; today she's nostalgic for a time when everyone supported the Patriot Act
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| Mon January 09, 2023 |
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This Bad Legal Take makes flat earthers seem smart
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Yesterday marked 12 years since Congresswomen Gabby Giffords was shot. She still trying to get America to care about gun violence
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Italian ferris wheel demonstrates the fusillity of trying to withstand 170km/h winds
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Cubic Zirconia cracks
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Virgin only makes it to third base
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Suspect in custody in shootings of several elected democrats' homes in New Mexico. All court proceedings being sealed and the police chief is refusing to release info
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Off to a great start, Kevin
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The Tesla tailspin is starting to look more like a nosedive
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Geno Smith surpasses Russell Who as the single-season passing yard leader for the Seahawks
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Go get em pupper, there'll be many more fluffy sheep in your future
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An essay on the "Honey Shot" (when in sports telecasts, they'll show attractive females and increasingly, for equal time, attractive males)
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I pity the fool that discriminates when renting out NYC housing
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Quay Walker issues a sincere apology for being an asshat. *Looks expectedly at Aaron Rodgers*
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I'm not saying it's aliens but.... maybe one of you Farkers might know
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Pop quiz, hotshot: You catch a former employee stealing money from your business. Do you A) Assault them, B) Cut their hair, C) Kidnap them and demand a ransom from their mother, or D) All of the above?
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History prepares to repeat itself; but where should William's and Harry's armies meet?
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Is there anything sadder than having to write the blurb for your own vanity biography?
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George Santos (R-epugnant) has found one thing he won't lie about
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Archivist uncovers long-lost film marked "The Philipines 1942"
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Ashli Babbitt's mom takes a shot at civil disobedience
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Russia launches criminal probes on Kremlin critics. For those not up on their Star Wars lore, a Criminal Probe is what Han and Chewbacca shot near the rebel base on Hoth
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An artist used an AI to personify each country as a villain. The nightmare fuel that is Finland follows in the 🧵
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Elon Musk grew up so rich that he forgot his father had an emerald mine
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I read the comments, Ray
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Rudy the zoologist discussed Kangaroo birthing because we're all high as f*ck, right?
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Hollywood was out of ideas: In 1967, Batman and the Joker faced off in the ultimate surfing battle, complete with swim trunks and shark repellent ... you know, things one ordinarily carries when fighting or causing crime
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This mountain goat is an absolute specimen
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How many fascists are in the Omaha Police Dept? 88 Brazilian
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Kevin McCarthy will unleash a tiger on your ass, right there in Congress
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| Thu January 05, 2023 |
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Ugly people supported face masks far more than attractive people
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McCarthy makes a single-day 7-11 run
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You have an Avatar-sized budget to adapt a video game to a movie. Which one do you choose?
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Poor pupper has to go it alone to have fun in the snow, at least he's having snowy fun
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Hairy Mary (NSFW)
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Seven votes for seven losses
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You can now try for your own moonshot, as Kerbal Space Program is free for all on Epic right now
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Owner of Chicago Bears turns 100 years old. That's funny, Aaron Rodgers doesn't look a day over 40
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Senator from the sparsely populated state of North Dakota is sooooo close to getting it
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Glitch in the Matrix? Depends on the angle
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Here we thought it was hard making people get their shots
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You dreamt of Dracula, you say?
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Damar Hamlin's (and any player like him) financial situation summed up in six minutes
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"All male citizens from 18 to 60 years old must come to an enlistment office or village executive committee to clarify their data." How do Putin and Lukashenko say "Trust me" to Belarusians?
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Red panda cooling off wants more COLD, sweet delicious cold
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Eight family members, five of them children, found dead from gunshots at house in Enoch, UT, as War of Domestic Violence continues unabated
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The Lincoln project is putting together a playlist for Kevin McCarthy. So far they have: "Don't Speak" - No Doubt, "Loser" - Beck, "Never Gonna Get It" - En Vogue, "The Sound of Failure "- The Flaming Lips. Let's help them out with some more
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Randy Rainbow gives us the final word on Kevin McCarthy day
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