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headlines found matching 'reference ID'
Thu July 02, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Americans used go to malls to shop. Soon they'll live there as they shop from home
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Wed July 01, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
VW abandons Turkey factory plan, remembering they are a car manufacturer not a poultry processor
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
$3.4 Million Lamborghini hole in the water
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Thu June 25, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
If you were wondering why there were all those squeals of horror from Silicon Valley, Apple is going to start forcing apps to ask users for permission before allowing those apps to turn on user tracking
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Wed June 24, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Let's check out the results of the latest nationwide poll, shall we?
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Fri June 19, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
NYC City Council seeks to oust a statue of President Thomas Jefferson from city hall because he was a man of his times. Meanwhile, just a few miles north, Trump Tower remains
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Thu June 11, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Shady rideshare Uber hookup with shady food delivery Grubhub scotched after going Dutch with Just Eat Takeaway for a stock swap worth $7.3 billion
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Tofu goes mainstream as the coronavirus keeps finding new ways to destroy humanity's frail existence
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Wed June 10, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Shipping pigs to China in 747s - this is not a euphemism
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Tue June 09, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The party's winding down in Amsterdam
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The global glut in diamonds is so enormous it has brokers crying in debeers
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Apple to announce at WWDC it's building it's own chips again, the re-hire of Gil Amelio this fall
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Mon June 08, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
A million-mile Chinese battery could power your EV. At least until Big Oil lobbyists get through with it in DC
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Fri June 05, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
History suggests the handshake will survive the virus. And even if it doesn't, WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Camden, NJ fired its entire police force in 2013 and re-started from scratch. Fark: It reduced excessive force complaints by 95% since 2014
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
COVID is still killing 1,000 Americans a day, let's check in with Dr. Fau... what's that? He's been locked out of the White House for 5 weeks?
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Elon Musk probably has a bet with Donald Trump for one dollar that he can destroy Jeff Bezos
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
TL;DR: Companies are borrowing money to pay shareholder dividends while firing thousands of employees. This is fine. And certainly sustainable
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Sheldon Adelson property involved in another money laundering probe. You're not clicking a link from the Las Vegas Review Journal
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Thu June 04, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
When you buy JETS, you hold JETS all the way, from the opening bell to your last trading day. Funds flow to JETS, their daytrades can't be beat, bored millenial stonk traders, on buggin' Wall Street
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Wed June 03, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Take 2 crashes the Kerbal Space Program
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Mon June 01, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Plan? There is no plan. Just like there is no president
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
US State Department criticizes China for Hong Kong response. China texts back with; I can't breathe
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Listen, and understand. That Big Blue terminator is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until your ass is fired
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Fri May 29, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Don't call it a comeback, Charlie. The tuna melt's been here for years
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Thu May 28, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Messy desks might help neat-freaks be more creative. SO LAY OFF, YOU ANAL-RETENTIVE JERKFACE. I'M TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS HERE
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Party over, out of time, big bankruptcies gonna party like it's two-zero-zero-nine
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Wed May 27, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
You can sneer at Tik-tok, but it's (private) parent company made $3 billion profit last year. And they say there are no unicorns left
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Mon May 25, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Bloomberg: "It's a modern quandary for the ultra-wealthy: a yacht awaits at harbor, but how to safely reach it without risking exposure to the germ-ridden masses?"
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Sun May 24, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
We haven't had a good "all the bananas are dying" thread in a while. Update: Still dying
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Fri May 22, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Uncle Joe's beginning to like the way the T/A rolls in Arizona, and those boss T-Tops really don't hurt
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Europe's getting cleaner and greener as the US gets oranger and dirtier
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Thu May 21, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
On its fifth CEO in 6 years, car renter Hertz continues to be a slow-motion train wreck
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Home mortgage delinquencies soared to the most ever in April. This is not a repeat from 2008
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Wed May 20, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Screw Twitter, let's go to the source...Researchers are finding evidence that patients who test positive for the coronavirus after recovering aren't capable of transmitting the infection
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Tue May 19, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
CEOs: "Woohoo, these bailouts are like our very own free money fountain." Senator Elizabeth Warren: "Not so fast, motherfarkers"
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Masked superhero collects names of villains, prepares to rain down justice
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Sir Richard bravely ran away from $41mil of shares in his Virgin Galactic last week
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
They say "Qantas don't crash," but a socially-distanced 900% increase in fares will put them six feet under
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Mon May 18, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Have some bicycles with unpopular colors like orange and turquoise, or unusual sizes such as extra small and extra large that your store just can't sell? Well, now may be your moment
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Claiming losses against your 2014 tax filings are a great way to earn $50m from the CARES Act Stealth Bailouts
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Unicorns in the Valley of Coronavirus
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Sun May 17, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Let's hope a tobacco-based COVID vaccine doesn't go up in smoke
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Thu May 14, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Coffee has overtaken tea in Russia, but will never beet vodak
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Wed May 13, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
All of South Africa becoming lack toes intolerant
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The test being used in the White House and elsewhere may end up missing half the COVID-19 cases it should detect. So the odds that Trump has it just jumped exponentially
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Tue May 12, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Big Oil has big plans for net zero emissions. They're also going to pay off the world's debt, establish a unicorn sanctuary staffed by penguins on Mars, and get you laid. Are they credible?
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Looking to avoid burnout? Work less, fark more. No, seriously
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Sat May 09, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
United Airlines' bond sale fails to take off
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Good news gentlemen, dress pants are out. Denim is in
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Fri May 08, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
How the hell have they been groping your balls this entire time *without* wearing a mask
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Thu May 07, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
One of the world's best restaurants might be taken out
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Get ready for more ads on spotify. You heard it here first
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Wed May 06, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
In spite of Corona, we can still get Corona
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Amidst all the dead, suffering, waste left in the plague's wake, BlackRock's Fink lays out the number one fear for corporate America in the months ahead: a tax hike
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Hertz and Avis return cars they never owned
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Refusing to have the wool pulled over their eyes and concerned for their safety, US meat workers are starting to quit as the plants reopen. They're not sheep
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
"Temporary" is just another word for "nothing left to lose"
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Tue May 05, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Oculus is developing a smaller and lighter VR headset to help keep your facebook blinders on
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Bankruptcy Hertz, don't it
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Mon May 04, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Japan's PM extends the lockdown, now says the sun will rise on May 31
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Fri May 01, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The office you left isn't the one you return to. Neither is that plant you had on the filing cabinet
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The best time for the United States to start a sovereign wealth fund is 30 years ago. The second best time is right now
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Thu April 30, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
No Kissing, No Extras: How TV production is copying porn to fix the cable
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The roof's falling in on Freddie Mac
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Wed April 29, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Even with increased lockdown sales, Blue Apron finds the recipe for failure
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
He probably doesn't want this reported, but Saudi Prince Mohammed bin Salman's year is really going to pieces
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Even with processing plants ordered to stay open, wholesale beef just hit a new record, up 62% since Feb. Your dog wants steak, but can you afford it?
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
How Tyson Foods helped create the meat crisis it's now warning against. Kind of a chicken/egg or oxy addiction/pharma rehab thing
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Tue April 28, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Treasury Secretary Mnuchin says that states with "poorly managed budgets" will not get federal bailout funds. This is a guy who sat on the board of Sears for god sake
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Distilleries now turning stale beer into coronavirus wine (and sanitizer). Sweet sweet coronavirus wine
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Everyone can chillax. Scientists find COVID-19 is destroyed when it's exposed to 56 degrees Celsius for 30 minutes which should happen this summer due to global warming
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Sat April 25, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Icahn not believe how overpriced those stonks are
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Fri April 24, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
"We're Pampering Our Pets More Than Ourselves." Well yeah - they've earned it for putting up with us these past few weeks
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Thu April 23, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
While you're doing what you can to keep things together, the $1bil video-game coaching industry is already at the next level
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The states that asked first got the most virus disaster relief. Congrats CA, WA, and CT; suck it WV, ID, and VT
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Buffet's business bastions breached by bug
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Wed April 22, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
How Europe's hottest year looked FROM SPAAAAAACE
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Now they even got cows wearing masks, although supposedly it's to reduce methane emissions. Subby thinks they are putting them on the wrong end
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Tue April 21, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
In other news...Dumb Swedes get lucky ... or are they still dumb ?
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Fri April 17, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Hey Donald, thanks for the billions to help save jobs. Now that the check cleared, we're still going to lay people off
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
"Post Malone Is Planet Earth's Most Relatable Pop Star" said no one but his publicist
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
U.S. expected to lead contraction in global GDP this year. USA USA USA USA USA
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
When an $8.5bil global market crashes, the bouquet is not going to be particularly sweet
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Thu April 16, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The Fed: "We're just helping investment grade companies who were downgraded after the virus through no fault of their own". Also the Fed: *Buys $16 billion CCC rated Blackrock high yield corporate bond ETF*
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Carnival execs knew they had a virus problem but kept the party going. Soon the legal circus will be pitching its tents. Send in the clowns
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Tue April 14, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
"Social distancing will never work because Americans will do whatever they want" myth goes right out the window. 90% of y'all are doing a good job of it. It's the 10% who are going to protests, megachurches, and COVID parties we have to worry about
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The happy ending for Donnie's key 2020 states is looking stormy from the twin blows of the mushrooming virus and job loss
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Mon April 13, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
CEO complains there are too many Zoom meetings. Fark: Zoom CEO
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
More than half of the new Coronavirus cases reported in China on Sunday are Chinese nationals on a flight returning from Russia, you know, the country that claims they haven't got any of the 'rona thereabouts?
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Thu April 09, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
This should cause a well reasoned twitter response
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
California secedes
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Wed April 08, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
With social gatherings restricted, Hong Kong protesters are flocking to Animal Crossing to demonstrate against government, Tom Nook's reign of terror
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
"Infodemic." See: "YouTube"
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
With humans in hiding, animals take back the world
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Milk Bar cookies are coming very soon, me droogs. They're right horrorshow
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Hey Farkers, how good are you at geography? Here's a map of the world along with coronavirus numbers. Scroll your mouse pointer over the South American countries and see if you can spot the error
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Tue April 07, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Wallstreet orders traders to die for the economy
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Mon April 06, 2020
(Independent)
 
 
 
Spain joins the Yang Gang
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Sun April 05, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
It is time to start talking about the D-word? Yes, yes it is. No, not that D-word, the other one
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Fri April 03, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Mortgage lenders prepare for home loan default rates well beyond Great Recession levels in 2008. It's going to be a bumpy night
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Wed April 01, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
US intelligence officials privately confirm that China's coronavirus numbers are bullshiat
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
As everyone predicted, the true winners of the pandemic appear to be the divorce lawyers
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Mon March 30, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
A Trump. A hotel. A fraud case. Panama
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Sat March 28, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Five. Five minute. Five minute COVID-19 test
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Fri March 27, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Microbreweries in the Czech Republic fear 1,900,000 liters of beer could go undrunk. Oh the Brewmanity
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Thu March 26, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Coronavirus is not Trump's Katrina; by the numbers, it's his Vietnam
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
You know that "miracle" drug Trump won't shut up about? Turns out not giving the drug is more effective than giving the drug. Followup tag in quarantine, Fail is social distancing, and can't use facepalm because DON'T TOUCH YOUR FACE
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Wed March 25, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Republicans prepared to scuttle the coronavirus stimulus plan because poor people have it too easy
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Fed hires Conflict of Interest, LLC. to oversee the bailout
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Tue March 24, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Why are people still going on cruises
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Holy shiat: clogged toilets on the Navy's latest 2 aircraft carriers require a periodic $400,000 acid flush, because the pipes are too narrow to handle the morning dump
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Trump to New York: Drop dead
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
1/6 of the world population is now in full lockdown
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Mon March 23, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The "beer game," invented in the late 1950s, helps retailers solve today's toilet paper crisis
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Sun March 22, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Treasury: We need to do everything possible to stave off 20% unemployment. Fed: 20%? Oh, you sweet summer child
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Food, food, food everywhere and no one to eat it
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Sat March 21, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Only the rich get COVID-19 tests. New hotness: The rich try to reserve hospital beds
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Fri March 20, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Looks like gas is going to stay cheap for a while yet, just in time for you to be stuck at home not using it
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Thu March 19, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
As Kudlow proposes public ownership of companies bailed out by the US, dems realize even AOC has been outflanked on the left by Republicans
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Wed March 18, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Poland's refusing to stand by, just threw a stimulus package worth 9% of GDP on the table
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
We haven't heard about WeWork in a while, let's check in and see how they're handling the pandemic. Oh, that's not good
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Italian study says 99% of people who died from coronavirus had some other preexisting condition. Sorry, but this does not bode well for those of you with ailments
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
"Corporate Virtue in the Time of Coronavirus." Admit it - you needed a laugh
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The post-virus economic recovery could be a green one. Let's take the good news where we can get it
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Mon March 16, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
*looks at NYSE* Uh...huh...sure Steve. Whatever reality you have to tell yourself
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Translation: The airline industry is collapsing
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
10 minute coronavirus test not made by Theranos could be a game changer
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Sat March 14, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Denmark: Shut. Down. Everything. Oh, and lets activate the military to make sure
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Fri March 13, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Trump to finally admit that his presidency is a disaster
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Buffett bars shareholders from Berkshire's annual meeting - there's no seeing the Oracle this year
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
New coronavirus test that's 10 times faster is approved by the FDA. It can now measure two drops in a bucket
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Thu March 12, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
I think we all knew those conferences were just giant orgies
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Bad: People with COVID-19 may be contagious for two weeks before symptoms appear. Really bad: People with COVID-19 may be contagious for five weeks after symptoms have vanished
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Instagram influencers continue to be a plague unto themselves
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Wed March 11, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
NewsFlash
 
Brexit finally pays off as the UK is the only country in Europe that isn't banned from travel to the US for the next 30 days
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Coronavirus Conference Cancelled
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Mon March 09, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Ireland cancels St. Patrick's Day. O'sh*t
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The soufflé is chefs' comfort food of the year - assuming it doesn't crash as well
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 07, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
"This is what the start of a recession looks like" says John McLaine. Yipee Ki Yay Market Failure
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 06, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Wall Street Professionals on where the market goes from here: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
This is the kind of outside the quarantine box thinking that will get us out of this COVID-19 panic: administration considering tax breaks to cruise lines, travel businesses, because who doesn't want to jump on a cruise right now at a discount
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 05, 2020
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Some of the doctors treating coronavirus patients in Wuhan are still alive. Here's what they have to say about it
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Embattled bookseller Barnes and Noble's new strategy? Pivot to books
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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