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headlines found matching 'person'
Fri January 28, 2022
(Protocol.com)
 
 
 
1. Start a non-profit mental health line and collect personal data you're not allowed to sell. 2. Create a for-profit subsidiary and give the data to them. 3. Profit
source: protocol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Well, its virtual Groundhog Day...again
source: atlantic.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Its just like being in THE MATRIX. Well, if the Matrix was really dull, populated by really boring people, and in the end, they sell all your information to Russia and China
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Kanye West is a horrible person
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
When two Protestant schools mess around and refuse to wear masks at a basketball game, sometimes it takes a Catholic priest to set things right
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
Senator Marty Flynn, (D)umbass, left a loaded .357 in his car. Guess where it ended up
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Idaho man completes his life goal of identifying 52 utterly worthless achievements and then doing them just slightly better or faster than the person who first wasted time on them
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 27, 2022
(BNNBloomberg)
 
 
 
The US housing market gained almost $10 trillion during the pandemic and is now roughly twice what it was 10 years ago. In an unrelated story, subby's going long on tulip and Beanie Babby NFTs backed by his own personal crypto
source: bnnbloomberg.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
13-year-old Connecticut boy who died after overdosing on fentanyl had a little more than "personal use" quantities of the drug as authorities recover 100 bags of it from his room and another 60 from his school
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 26, 2022
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Well come on generals let's move fast, your big chance is come at last. Gotta go out and get those reds. The only good commie is one that's dead & you know that peace can only be won when you blow them all to kingdom come to the 7pm ET MSNBC thread
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Apple CEO Tim Cook stalked by woman demanding sex, mailing him photos of guns, claiming he is the father of her children. No word if she's run in and hurled a sledgehammer at a giant video of Big Brother yet
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
'Snake burglar' slithers back into another LA business. Snake whisperer, turd burglar remain at large, plan to form creepy voltron
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 25, 2022
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Unicorns exist
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mational Day Calendar)
 
 
 
Today is National Opposite Day, so let's not celebrate
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
"I am not a person"
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
So you're saying that yesterday's Biden/Doocy incident is nothing compared to four years of Trump and his treatment of the press? That's some mighty fine reporting there, Chris Cillizza
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
Alan Tudyk, a guy so cool he transmitted some to the peacemaker series through osmosis
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
"I hereby decree it MILF Day at Dunkin' Donuts. Here's your dollar"
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
White House official transcript has zero farks left to give
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Covid-19 vaccine refusenik refused heart transplant. Next person in line appreciative of his stance
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Beaver train on fire
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 24, 2022
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
"DC Officer Shot in Northwest, Suspect Still At Large" - as bad as that is, bet he's glad he didn't get hit in his down south
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Man opens GoFundMe for: A) sick spouse, B) child's education, or C) impound fees for the limo with trunk-mounted stripper pole that he drove into a creek
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Xplore)
 
 
 
"I see," said the blind man apparently wearing a dailek power glove
source: techxplore.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mational Day Calendar)
 
 
 
Today is National Compliment Day, so let's all find something nice to say about me
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Want a dozen free doughnuts? Got some spare blood?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Blog)
 
 
 
Chris D'Elia is back, ready to groom a whole new generation of fans
source: humorism.xyz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 23, 2022
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dutch airline announces new ultra-economy fare
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Midland Daily News)
 
 
 
The superintendent would like to reiterate that schools do not keep litter boxes in the restrooms for use by furries
source: ourmidland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
All the British are good at is queuing (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Boulder)
 
 
 
Don't say Gay
source: dailyboulder.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 22, 2022
(Doctor Who TV)
 
 
 
Is David Tennant returning as the next Doctor Who? Remember that the headline rule is in effect
source: doctorwhotv.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Gramma Beats Da Scamma
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Turns out Covid-19 tests give most accurate results if taken midday. So right after you Farkers wake up from your cheap booze induced mini-comas
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy Hating His Choices)
 
 
 
I don't suppose anyone on Fark has the first clue how one goes about setting up a campaign committee and doing all the paperwork to run for Congress? Seems like this should have an Instructable a five year old can follow. It's only our democracy
source: fec.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"And no person could get next-day shipping lest they bore the Mark of the Bezos on their palm, or on their bald heads"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Obvious: Texas man indicted for trying to hire someone to kill GA's Secretary of State and Governor. Facepalm: By posting an ad on Craigslist. Now faces federal charges of making interstate threats, impersonating Florida man
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
The person who tried to anonymously keep his phone records from the J6 committee was Dan Scavino, who started as Trump's golf caddy and has been with Trump throughout his presidency
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 21, 2022
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Did you host an unmasked Inauguration Party last Saturday? Well, COVID took that personally
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The US has a new oldest person
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
There goes that wacky Boebert again, being an embarrassment. This time asking an Orthodox Jewish group visiting the Capitol if they were doing 'reconnaissance'
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 20, 2022
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Brett Kavanaugh and Amy Coney Barrett just can't imagine how post-election campaign contributions used to repay personal loans could possibly be considered bribes
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
San Francisco police shoot and kill gunman dual-wielding firearms at BART. Gunman failed to kill anyone due to the -2 to hit penalty. Shorts remain uneaten
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Remember the woman in the Peloton commercial from Christmas 2019? That's the look on the faces of PTON shareholders today
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Bill in New Hampshire would create first Gilead in the US
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Investigators testifying before a South Dakota Legislative panel considering impeaching the State AG for that whole "running a man down and then driving off" thing. Say either the AG knew he hit a person or he thinks deer carry and use flashlights
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Idiot unvaxxed congressman from Kentucky catches COVID-19 for the second time. No, not him. And no, not him, either... Keep guessin'
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wrestling News)
 
 
 
The WWE did not see the backlash coming after renaming one of their wrestlers after a U-Boat commander
source: wrestlingnews.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
FAA investigating YouTuber who may have crashed his plane on purpose for clicks. Kim Kardashian would be taking notes if she could read or write
source: news.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What are the games that made you cry? Subby was cutting onions at the end of God of War
source: theinventory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Chaser)
 
 
 
Today's "story so patently ridiculous the local Onion knockoff just gave up and copied the Guardian article on it word-for-word" brought to you by... really, Australia? Maybe stick to the schnitzels
source: chaser.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"Anonymous Person" challenges 1/6 Committee's right to subpoena phone records of "Anonymous Person", has case thrown out. Kimberly, Eric --- people can see you
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
TikTok may suck for all the stupid challenges and an endless number of other reasons. But every once in a while, it shows itself to have some value to at least one person. And hopefully everyone else who watches their video
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 19, 2022
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Finally a fart story with a happy ending, not a soiled ending (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Man who donated a kidney to his girlfriend's mother learns his now ex was just a kidney digger (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Remember Gorsuch being asked to wear a mask during SC hearings and refusing? No you don't
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
DNA evidence identifies gas station burglar: Who may or may not have stolen anything, didn't hurt anyone and has since passed away so no arrests will be made. Seems like a great use of resources
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 18, 2022
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
I said, "F*ck your Honda Civic, I've a horse outside"
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Bucket list: cage diving with sharks. Not on the bucket list: cage driving in a golf course pond
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IMDB)
 
 
 
Superman opens up to Lois about his visions and she has tension with Chrissy on S.№2 Ep.№2 "Ties that Bind" at 8 ㏘ EDT. And what about ― Naomi? She enlists her friends to dig deeper on Ep. №2 "Unidentified Flying Object" at 9, both on The CW
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
That's not a dog, that's a BIG-ARSE cat (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
How rude would it be for me to doubt that the 4th time is going to be the charm for Jodie Sweetin? Also who names their kid Mezcal
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUT Austin)
 
 
 
Texas: Our voting laws are not voter suppression laws. Voter registration groups: OK, send us voter registration forms. Texas: Oh, so sorry. There's a paper shortage and have you seen the price of paper?
source: kut.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Want to get out of a bad date? Fake a positive Covid result
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Buddy the dog vows to never again attempt to impersonate the Kool-Aid Man
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
End of pandemic signaled by return of free samples at Costco - cheese squares, crackers, little hot dogs, guns in the bathroom
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Just because you may have all the sushi you can eat doesn't mean you should have all the sushi you can eat
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
Picture, video illustrate our supply-chain dilemma in form of unlucky container truck
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PsyPost)
 
 
 
You're too sexy to be mean. No seriously, you're so hawt you must be a good person right?
source: psypost.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 17, 2022
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
We are one step closer to being meat popsicles
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 16, 2022
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The secret life of a super-recognizer. Welcome to Fark
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
"North Pole man fatally shot in attempted robbery on Santa Claus Lane"
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
"I was voting for 'Beerosaurus' personally"
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Hi. Is it okay if we pull the plug on your ICU cancer patient? We have an unvaccinated Covid patient who needs the bed"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inland Valley Daily Bulletin)
 
 
 
If you're gonna solicit funds for a fake teenage cancer patient, please remember, a) leukemia doesn't result in tumors, and b) the phrase 'akute leukemy' is likely to p.o. actual cancer patients
source: dailybulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 15, 2022
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman tests out worst McDonald's in UK where burgers taste like cardboard. Well, that narrows it down then
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wilkes-Barre Times Leader)
 
 
 
Woman held on $20,000 bail because she refused to stop turning off the breaker switch for her neighbor's electricity, even after the door was screwed shut
source: timesleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vintage Everyday)
 
 
 
Mid-century romance - alternately, the courtin' days of some of us oldsters back when we were young & pretty
source: vintag.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Hello? Lost and found? I think I lost some evidence against me. Can you tell me if it's turned up?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 14, 2022
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Driver arrested after doing donuts, as we all know those belong to the police
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deseret News)
 
 
 
Sorry no sale, and have to go with the LAT columnist. Subby will continue to laugh about publicity-hound covidiots like Glenn Beck getting sick, and will gladly sign up for the conga line over his grave
source: deseret.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip. Snip
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Want to know why Queen Elizabeth sat alone at Philip's funeral? The Tory wine parties were going on
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
How many times a week do you shower? The woman in TFA only bathes thrice a week
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Ballot boxes? Ballot boxes? We don't need no steenkin' ballot boxes
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Louie Gohmert accuses Texas AG Ken Paxton of being two-faced
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
The last time the National Guard was sent to New Mexico schools, they bayoneted a bunch of college students on strike
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 13, 2022
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Face masks make wearers more attractive. Jason, Mike Myers reportedly elated
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Did you pay for parking by using a QR code in Texas? No you didn't
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Boris Johnson defeated as [House of] Lords backs new law jailing 'sex for rent' landlords for 7 years." Presumably, he owns many rental properties
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
It's the same thing every day, Clean up your room, stand up straight, pick up your feet, take it like a man, be nice to your sister, don't mix beer and wine ever, don't stop on the railroad tracks
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
Go home, America, you're drunk
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Man rides electric bicycle up to speed camera in the snow, fires multiple shots at it and misses every single one
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bring Me the News)
 
 
 
Minnesota shooting prompted by dispute over grill. No, not that kind of grill
source: bringmethenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Twitter is not your personal erotica site
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 12, 2022
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Suspect detained over 2012 case in which a family found out what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science.org)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Identifying people from their DNA or appearance. New hotness: Computer identifies a person from how they play chess. For example in the game 1. f3 e6 2. g4 ♛h4# the white player is named Donald
source: science.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Chicago cop: "This is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules"
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(8 News Now)
 
 
 
Las Vegas - the land of gambling, hookers, meth and oooooh, candy?
source: 8newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Merriam-Webster)
 
 
 
The Merriam-Webster word of the day for January 12 is 'stir-crazy' as in: "when cooking stew, it's important to allow the flavors time to mingle and not mix too much, because otherwise you're just going stir-crazy"
source: merriam-webster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Boris Johnson admits to attending a lockdown drinks party, having mistaken the BYOB garden event with 100 invitees and food, arranged by his personal private secretary, for a work meeting
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Woman catches her husband secretly taking a shot of whiskey in the kitchen. Difficulty: using her menstrual cup
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Why doing that 'I got mine, and the next one' thing doesn't work
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
At a hockey game one generally expects some scoring & even some five hole action, so what's the problem? Oh (not safe for work)
source: floridahockeynow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Three wise men find a baby in stable condition. Not a repeat from 0 AD
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 11, 2022
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Steve Harvey laments that he can no longer be a terrible person without repercussions
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indiana Daily Student)
 
 
 
Indiana college students given the chance to compete for $5000. No word if the cash will be spread out on an electrified carpet
source: idsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
NXT welcomes back AJ Styles as he battles Grayson Waller, Dunne & D'Angelo have a "crowbar on a pole" match, Xyon & Escobar fight for Elektra Lopez. Indi & Persia get a 3rd for a 6 person match: "Sir, this is a Wendy." Watch it live at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Medical helicopter crashes next to church. Were they cutting out the middleman?
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Israellycool)
 
 
 
Hamas wants Israel to call off their killer secret agent Zionist dolphins
source: israellycool.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
For personal use, probably
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Article: "Cat bites person to alert them of a fire." Cat: "Wait, there was a fire?"
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
I'm afraid of Americans
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Car safety advice from Australia. Yep, don't click if you don't like eight legged things
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 10, 2022
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Dozens of Duke University students were incorrectly told they had COVID-19, correctly told they suck
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen have released a joint statement on Bob Saget. At least, they claim it's a joint statement. It could have just been one person who released it
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Demi Lovato celebrates leaving rehab by doing something that might get you put into rehab in the first place (pics)
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSPA)
 
 
 
Please remember your helmet when riding your moped into deer after midnight
source: wspa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 09, 2022
(NPR)
 
 
 
The key to success in life is "strategic underachievement," or deciding in advance what to fail at. In that case, subby's the most successful person on Earth
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Trump blames Federal agents for the January 6th attack on the Capitol, which means that ultimately, the person in charge of the Federal government at the time bears the responsibility. Maybe someone should investigate that guy
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Indiana Republican realized he revealed too much when he criticized CRT but suggested Nazism and fascism should be taught fairly and without bias
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLOX Biloxi)
 
 
 
One law actually worked in the war on drugs, so let's repeal it
source: wlox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Attempted murder suspect involved in high speed pursuit for 30 minutes with police and media helicopters overhead and somehow gets away. What sorcery is this?
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Behold: the most insufferable person in the world
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 08, 2022
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Follow your nopes, it always nopes
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Keys Weekly)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Craft beer. New hotness: Craft soy sauce
source: keysweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 07, 2022
(MSN)
 
 
 
Omicron has decided that Saskatoon is to become an NHL city
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
DUI suspect hits deer, loads it into her hatchback, and drives off with it still alive. Call the Bambilance
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Mobile)
 
 
 
Mobile man accused of stealing bleachers, although technically he was only semi-mobile with them strapped to his car
source: fox10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Study suggests that the number of elderly persons meeting new people every day will triple by 2050
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Couple commits suicide days apart. Grandmother: "It's like a real life Romeo and Juliet"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Newt Gingrich and Laura Ingraham blame Nancy Pelosi for sparking the January 6 terrorist attack on the Capitol
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
A hunter has claimed he snapped an image of a "naked alien" at a notorious UFO hot spot in a remote part of Montana. It appears the alien forgot its clothes on the mothership
source: gaterrocks.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 06, 2022
(CleanTechnica)
 
 
 
Ford to customers: Buy a Tesla
source: cleantechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"Attention people waiting to get tested: Please do not defecate in the nearby gardens while you wait. Thank you"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
How flurona is yet another example of social media getting science all wrong
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania Farm Show Butter Sculpture celebrates 'Urban' and 'Rural' agriculturalists coming together by toasting glasses of milk. Not sure if racist and offended or inclusive and pleasantly surprised
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Man arrested in thefts of unpublished books after impersonating a literary agent or editor to steal them. And yet subby still can't get anyone to look at his novel, let alone steal it
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
So it turns out that Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the Boston Marathon Bomber, hasn't made any required payments to his victims despite thousands of dollars being deposited into his accounts. You know, I'm starting to think this guy is kind of an asshole
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Amendment XIV, Section 3 prohibits any person who had gone to war against the union or given aid and comfort to the nation's enemies from running for federal or state office, unless Congress by a two-thirds vote specifically permitted it
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Nelson Mandela: MAGAt Edition
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 05, 2022
(Daily Hive)
 
 
 
Optimistic ape hopes to trade Bored Ape NFTs for a house in Vancouver, BC (average house price $1.2M)
source: dailyhive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
TikTok parents now pretending to smear poop on their children in hopes of turning their freakout into internet virality
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg Law)
 
 
 
NY Giants and Jets sued for tricking fans into thinking they play football in NY and not NJ due to their names. Personally, I would be more concerned that they have tricked fans into thinking either team has a chance to be competitive
source: news.bloomberglaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
One of the January 6 terrorists compares herself to a Holocaust victim
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 04, 2022
(Polygon)
 
 
 
Must not sleep, one winged clown will eat me
source: polygon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ireland's plan to deter binge drinking, they'll need some kind of luck for that to happen
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBN Youngstown)
 
 
 
Local man lives up to online username
source: wkbn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Michigan college adding "no worries" to a banished words appears to be pissing off the Australians, who will probably kill us all in retaliation
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Times)
 
 
 
Someone put fliers on New Yorkers' cars telling them to leave Florida if they are 'woke', as if they'd need a flier
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 03, 2022
(Some Wise Old Guy)
 
 
 
On the anniversary of Martin Luther and the 95 theses, it should be remembered that he also said that "One (who) makes no use of intelligence or medicine" would "become a suicide in God's eyes." Rare Martin Luther trifecta in play
source: christianhistoryinstitute.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Best Korean defector nopes the f*ck back to Best Korea after watching "Squid Game"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
In a rare politics / d'aww crossover, someone impersonating the Queen gets the Royal thumbs up
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Far from being a "martyr" or "incredible person," Ashli Babbitt was a violent, erratic QAnon believer who posted "profane rants against Democrats, COVID-19 mask mandates and illegal immigration" and should have been in jail for a violent assault with a car
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
Weeners
 
Train station sign grows a big rubber penis, leaves all commuters in stitches. The poor train station employee who had to get it down not so much (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
SHUT - DOWN - (mostly) - EVERYTHING. Ontario goes Madagascar after a record weekend of Om-Nom-Omicron
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Yo dawg, I heard you like battling COVID, so I put COVID in your state's COVID Management Committee so they can battle COVID while battling COVID
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Patton Oswalt post a photo of him and his best friend of 34 years on Instagram and since that best friend was Dave Chapele you already know what happen next Patton (a) was cancelled #JokesAreFunny
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
New mod for Resident Evil 2 allows for simultaneous VR and shiatting of pants
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Wow, those are Ferris Bueller numbers
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Apparently, we need to have an explanation of what Covid microchips really are (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Thousands in the Netherlands are acting like Americans (probably because of Russian active measures)
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Who is Pete and why are we doing this for his sake?
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Coronavirus likes the Secretary of Defense
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Fans at FedEx field do Hurts impersonation
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 02, 2022
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
They couldn't find the original of that
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
2022 is just getting started
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Who dat? Boo Dat
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
You're doing it wrong
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
74 million more mouths to feed
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Close enough
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Arson reported, only 90 miles from Cuba
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 01, 2022
(Axios)
 
 
 
Surprise medical bills are now surprisingly illegal
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TownNews)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pointing person
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If your home was damaged by this, will the insurance company declare it "an act of Cod"?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Korea Times)
 
 
 
New photos reveal Kim Jong-Un is now trim enough to look good in suits and shirts. "Previously, he has rarely worn button-down shirts and even if he has, they looked very tight around the neck"
source: koreatimes.co.kr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 31, 2021
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"My entire relationship is based upon a lie; my wife told me she hated Disney movies. The opposite was true"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Answering a question with a question: What if we all got to pay for expensive, unecessarily intrusive technology because of small percentage of asshats can't take enough personal responsiblity not to drive while impaired?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You would think a bank would have enough money to pay people
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zillow)
 
 
 
This little home captures the whimsy of Disney and is a charmingly spendy yurt on stilts
source: zillow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Since we've give up on using science, we might as well see what astrology holds for us in 2022
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 30, 2021
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Lisa Boothe: I'm not getting vaccinated as a giant middle finger to President Joe Biden's tyranny. Covid-19: And I took that personally
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSMV Nashville)
 
 
 
Tennessee beauty professionals required to take anti-domestic violence training. Still safer than calling the cops
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Carvana delivery is not exactly as advertised
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Citroen apologizes for commercial that was deemed sexual harassment. Still no apology for their cars
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Subby does not see much improvement in personal and national events in the upcoming year, What can I say instead of "Happy New Year" at midnight Friday/Sat? Link goes NYC NYE article
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Florida Man tries to pet tiger at zoo after hours. This is bad news...for the tiger
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hull Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Person drinks coffee. STOP THE PRESSES
source: hulldailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 29, 2021
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Fella not having a good time in Vegas after severed head and various body parts found in pickup truck
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MacRumors)
 
 
 
It's December, so this is your biannual "T-Mobile has had a data breach" thread
source: macrumors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
In a bold move, NJ re-brands a Parkway service area after its second-biggest rock star
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Guys, did you know it was all Rachel Maddow and MSNBC's fault for Omicron? They also made the vaccines not work. I heard it on Fox so it must be true
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Man charged with hoarding... Missing juveniles. That's.. That's a new one
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 28, 2021
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Do you still love your first car? Subby would love a good version of his first car...not the beat to crap version he actually owned
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YourTango)
 
 
 
Ted Cruz produces something of value?
source: yourtango.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NY1)
 
 
 
Tim Apple unavailable for comment
source: ny1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Why do people who know I have a fake vaccination card not want to hang out with me? I better ask a mainstream news publication for maximum embarrassment potential
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSNT Topeka)
 
 
 
Why do people still leave their keys in unlocked cars?
source: ksnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
I swear to god I'll pistol whip the next person that says, "side hustle"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 27, 2021
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Amtrak fails the trolley problem
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
Silent Bob hates mall's new chaperone policy
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OCCRP)
 
 
 
Congratulations, you've been named 2021 Person of the Year... "in recognition of all you've done to advance organized criminal activity and corruption"
source: occrp.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
This person spent a week in a 400-year-old tiny home with a grass roof for $187 a night so you don't have to
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zillow)
 
 
 
Forever home or strip club?
source: zillow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
The 15 most bizarre rumors of 2021 that Snopes was asked to investigate. That one about the horny Bronx Zoo gorillas was legit
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 26, 2021
(Gawker)
 
 
 
"As the visual manifestation of cryptocurrency, NFT art combines the nuanced social awareness of computer programmers with the soulful whimsy of hedge fund managers"
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Schrodinger's jackass claims he was only joking with Brandon and can't believe other people are using their free speech to comment on his free speech
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Music Radar)
 
 
 
Brian Eno doesn't like NFT's. "If I had primarily wanted to make money I would have had a different career as a different kind of person. I probably wouldn't have chosen to be an artist. Now artists can become little capitalist assholes as well"
source: musicradar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 25, 2021
(Zillow)
 
 
 
It's not a phase, Mom
source: zillow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Hay it forward
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 24, 2021
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Ranking the worst of Time's 'Person of the Year'
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Help Wanted - Pro: Have all the beer you want. Con: Move to a remote castle on a desolate British island. Pro: You get to be called "the monarch." Con: There are only two people on the island. Pro: Well...there are no more pros
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
This much we know:
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
James Franco has always been a terrible person
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tom's Hardware)
 
 
 
CES head claims that major exhibitors are pulling out of next month's in-person exhibition due to the chip shortage
source: tomshardware.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 23, 2021
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
LAPD ruin Christmas for the family of a 14-year-old girl forever
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Two die when their Scubaru doesn't quite live up to its name
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Car crashes into Bethlehem home. Jeezus
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Joan Didion; now she Doesion't
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Everyone on Twitter is trying to manipulate each other over whether Lucille Ball would have used the word gaslight. If Nelson Mandela hadn't died in prison in the 1980s he could have brought peace to these warring factions
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 46 Charlotte)
 
 
 
"If cats actually have nine lives, he probably used up about eight of them in that nine-day period." Hoot finds his office cat alive in rubble nine days after tornados strike
source: fox46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
A normal person explains cryptocurrency
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Today's long running, beloved game show that can suddenly do no right is brought to you by "Wheel of Fortune"
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Solitude shown to have beneficial effects on mental health. So naturally people would rather give themselves an electric shock rather than simply sit alone with their thoughts for 15 minutes
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Pilot and person on the ground survive plane crashing into a home on, of course, Miracle Drive
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEM Saginaw)
 
 
 
Someone ordered the porterhouse well done at Lula's Restaurant
source: wnem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 22, 2021
(WSMV Nashville)
 
 
 
Spiffy: Tennessee man delivers homemade cakes to assisted living centers. Disappointing: They're carrot cakes
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Hospital employees on shuttle bus become patients
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Faith No More's Mike Bordin returns former bandmate and Metallica bassist Cliff Burton's "Dawn Of the Dead" t-shirt to Burton's family, 35 years after Burton's tragic death
source: consequence.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Facebook/Meta claims in court that their fact checks are just opinions, not the truth
source: insiderpaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Super genius with degrees in physics and math still has no idea how to use a check or money order
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
'American Pie' turns 50. Don McLean reflects on it by saying 'I could have been a really boring person who drank himself to death'
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Bad: Forgetting to turn your stove off. Worse: Forgetting to turn your suicide implant off
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
Weeners
 
20 signs you're on the wrong website
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 21, 2021
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The thief armed made off with two iPhones, an iPad, personal documents, $7,500 in cash swiped from a safe and a piggy bank. Seriously? The piggy bank too?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Brilliant thief decides that the best thing to steal is a fire engine. He finds out that it isn't the best vehicle for a pursuit in terms of performance and visibility
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
"You need to overcome the tug of people against you as you reach for high goals. Now, who wants to hit this bong?" ~ George Patton
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Two dead in mid-air collision between plane and paraglider
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
This story demonstrates 2 different ways that bosses can react to hearing an employee needs time off for personal reasons. Upon hearing both, the employee quit one of the jobs. Guess why
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Metro Atlanta teacher arrested during sting targeting online child predators. He should have stuck with being a youth pastor, where this kind of thing is ignored
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
I'm not sure if this is broad satire or Brian Kilmeade is the dumbest person in America. Fox host praises Mary and Joseph for finding a manger during Holiday season
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRN Nashville)
 
 
 
You put the suitcase in the dumpster, it goes to the landfill and everything is cool. But no, you had to put the suitcase next to the dumpster. You had one job. One
source: wkrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Giving a speech imploring your followers to "ambush" Dr. Fauci then deliver the "kill shot" and telling them after doing so, "Boom he is dead", is not normal, even for a Fox News on-air personality
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Teen pays $10K for salesperson's car at used lot. Five months later it gets repossessed. The car lot and the guy with a fraud conviction who sold it to him have... stories. Fail tag is for everybody in this story
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
White House staffer who flew on Air Force One with Biden last Friday tests positive for COVID. Biden has not tested positive. Yet
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Man admits to impersonating a New England Patriots player, scoring four touchdowns in one high school game, to obtain Super Bowl rings
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Fox News to viewers: "We report, you decide." Fox News to employees: "We decide, you obey"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 20, 2021
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man brought backhoe to gunfight
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Quotes from U.S. senators about gun control, with such honesty that you can tell right away they're satire and not reality
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
MorganFreemanGoodLuck.jpg
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
The world lost a good one today. Subby was fortunate to call Billy a friend. "He was the best person I ever knew. I'm going to miss him. We're all going to miss him"
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Jim Kramer rates Covid a personal "Buy" but says not to worry, his portfolio has been heavily hedged by going very deep on vaccine
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 19, 2021
(AL.com)
 
 
 
How many military personnel have been granted religious exemptions from COVID vaccinations by service branches? Hint: What number starts with Z?
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Guy who developed Botox for medical use has died. Note to those objecting to tag: It was NOT developed so rich people could look younger
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jewish Journal)
 
 
 
So you walk into a bar, and there's a line of people waiting to punch you in the face
source: jewishjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Not News: Person complains there are too many black people in cities Fark: In Freaking World of Warcraft cities
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Every sane person on the planet should nominate RyanAir CEO for King of Earth, ASAP
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplanation: How to fix the Advent calendar
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 18, 2021
(Narcity)
 
 
 
FKNRITE
source: narcity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(D'Marge)
 
 
 
Two weeks with a man bun: Journalist shares first-person experience of wearing reviled hipster hairstyle and whether it truly enhances sex appeal
source: dmarge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 17, 2021
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Armadillos on the Venetian causeway causing cyclists to crash. Armadillos in Miami this time of year? Bikers should watch where they're going
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on Figure Four Friday: Smackdown is all Roman, all the time...except when Brock drops by. Then on Rampage, two multi-person tags and Tay vs Penelope in a "submission match"? Is there a pool? The fun starts at 8 PM ET on FOX then 10 PM on TNT
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Your negative reaction to his Howard Stern interview hurt Ben Affleck's feelings. Wait until he hears about your negative reaction to his acting, personality, speech, and life
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Judge Tanya Chutkin finds sentencing Robert Palmer to more than 5 years in prison for Jan 6 riot to be Simply Irresistible
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
LeVar. L-E-V-A-R. LeVar
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Self driving bus commits suicide by tree. Safety operator safe in hospital. Safer in hospital
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Things you don't normally see during a marathon: a stampede of deer
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Quebec government bars in-person attendance at the Canadiens game tonight due to the rapid increase in COVID cases, much to the relief of Habs fans who don't have to watch their team lose again
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 16, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
Colleges shifting classes and holding finals online due to Covid-19 increase. This seems...familiar
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Media: THOUSANDS of active military personnel are refusing the vaccine, how ever will Biden overcome this CRISIS? Reality: 97.5% of the service has been vaccinated
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
The main character is an angry person that fell through the cracks and is nearing prison so we gave her a "very hip-hoppy kind of walk" to really emphasize her blackness
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 15, 2021
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
I suppose that's ONE way to get your boyfriend to shut up
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Anyway, he was used to being the only smart person within a hundred miles and now that he'd been thrown together with other smart people he didn't know how to behave in the MSNBC thread at 7pm Eastern
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Google to employees: Don't Be Evi-, er, Unvaccinated
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
At this point, it might be easier to list who doesn't have COVID in Cleveland
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
CDC shuts down sniffing of personal stash at Cannabis Cup
source: kymkemp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 14, 2021
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Found a hat in an old car, sold it for $28,000. * offer only valid in Alabama if you find one of Bear Bryant's houndstooth hats in his old Cadillac
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Our radiopharmaceuticals in the middle of the street
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
With Chris Wallace's departure, the question must be asked: Who now takes over the title of "Least Despicable Person on Fox News?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Thousands of Air Force personnel have been expelled from the service for failure to get vaccinated and....okay, would you believe Hundreds? How about :"just over 2 dozen low-ranking first enlistment termers"?
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Sentencing for Arbery's murderers set for January 7th. It would have been a day earlier but a compassionate judge realized this probably the last Insurrection Day that the defendants will ever get to celebrate with their families at home
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 13, 2021
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Elon Musk says buying things with Dogecoin is better than Bitcoin as he points around to all of the NOTHING one can buy with Dogecoin. Most countries would imprison a person for running a scam like this. Most
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
People magazine shows Time magazine how to pick a proper "person of the year"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Conflict of interest? In my Congressperson? It's more likely than you think
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Too Fast? Or TMI? Or Both?
source: loveletters.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
TIME magazine names its Person of the Year, and it's some part time Twitter crypto troll and former SNL host. Buried lede: Time knowingly passed on the four people who invented the mRNA Covid vaccine
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Had to happen sooner or later. Metaverse gets its first personal injury law firm
source: lawsitesblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Turns out you can't claim "Executive Privilege" for personal communications during the planning of a military coup, since that's kinda unrelated to your job at the White House. Therefore, contempt of Congress it is, Mark
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 12, 2021
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Bezos has finally stopped playing with his rocket long enough to acknowledge his warehouse workers who were killed in a tornado on Friday night
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seeker)
 
 
 
A Christmas gift for the person who has everything
source: seeker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Payout promised for purloined pink pawed Pomeranian pooch pumped precipitously presuming person promptly produces pet
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLFY Eyewitness News)
 
 
 
So what does it take to get arrested as a white person in Louisiana these days?
source: klfy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
"May I have an upgrade to a junior suite? Yes. Thanks"
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
When coming up with a name for a child's dress, it's probably best not to name it after a novel about a 12-year-old girl being abused
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 11, 2021
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
2021 Madlibs: McDonald's McRib NFT Project Links to Racial Slur Recorded on Blockchain
source: coindesk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zillow)
 
 
 
It's a mere 6300 sqft home, so obviously the only place to squeeze in an indoor pool was in the entryway
source: zillow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
ICU nurse reveals appalling death bed confessions from patients over the past three years. "The stolen gold bars are located..." *beeeep*
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Real estate agents let off steam at convention in Atlantic City by busting chairs over each other's heads, as real estate agents are wont to do
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but a new feature Ticketmaster launched to "level the playing field" for ticket buyers has done nothing of the sort
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
This man wrote himself in as a joke for a publicly elected position. FARK: He won
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Welcome to the underneath of the bus, Bibi, sorry it's getting a little crowded
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Death toll rising from overnight tornadoes. If you're under threat today, please keep up with the weather
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 10, 2021
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Question: Can't go to the bar without vaccine passport, wut do? Lightbulb Moment: Pay someone else to get jabbed for you Fark: Man gets at least ten vaccines in one day
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Better.com CEO was "forced to take a vacation" after firing 900 on a call, but remaining employees are skeptical "after the media coverage dies down, nothing is going to change and he's just going to go back to his unhinged sociopathic self"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Keanu Reeves, the chillest person in Hollywood, gets super excited over potentially being the star of digital VR porn
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Man hammers out "neighborly feud" with elderly woman literally
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Oh the skinny manatees
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Our desire for freaky fast delivery and instant gratification will not be sated
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 09, 2021
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Skunk ape is like bigfoot, but likes NASCAR
source: wflafm.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Skunk ape is like bigfoot, but likes NASCAR
source: wflafm.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOLD News 13)
 
 
 
Police were unable to say whether either passenger was, in fact, The Pigeon
source: kold.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Religion is much like a penis. It's cool to have it and take joy in wielding it, but when you go out and throw in people's faces and put others in danger, it becomes a problem for the rest of us
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 46 Charlotte)
 
 
 
High school booster club treasurer charged with boosting personal standard of living. With 'Would you trust this man with your money?' mugshot goodness
source: fox46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Thousands of tickets remain unsold for the Trump and O'Reilly 'History Tour,' Dumb and Dumber
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Anti-vaxxer weaponizes Mariah Carey at Board of Supervisors meeting. "It's also a little pitchy and comes with a slow side-to-side jig"
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 08, 2021
(Politifact)
 
 
 
No, the Australian military isn't going door to door and forcibly vaccinating residents, despite what Madison Cawthorn (R - idiculous) says
source: politifact.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Tennis Australia isn't showing favoritism by granting a medical exemption to Novax Djokovid
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Youtuber finally does something useful, as in cracking a 21-year-old missing person cold case
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
London's Connaught Bar wins "World's best Bar" for the second consecutive year, still isn't The Winchester
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
First neutralization tests are out and... it's marginally less disastrous than it could've been
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Employer to all minimum-wage employees: Here are the 11 rules of life. OBEY
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 07, 2021
(Guardian)
 
 
 
German man performing castrations on eight men lied about being medically trained. His only reference was getting someone unstuck from a chair with slightly spaced out planks
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Mask-denying doctor fails to realize that he missed Susie Sub texting him "use me for your pleasure" while recording a news interview on his phone, uploads the recording to his website. Hilarity ensues. Bonus: blames "hackers"
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Indiana State Police seeking information on catfishing suspect in relation to Delphi murders. Suspect was arrested in 2020, but to be fair the mugshot was still printing out
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Nicole Kidman gives a conscientious but bafflingly mannered, un-intuitive and latexed impersonation of Ball
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ask A Manager)
 
 
 
It's time to vote for the Worst Boss of 2021. Tag is for the bosses
source: askamanager.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
8K VR? "The tester is using the prototype. If this makes it to retail, of course, the product version will look different"
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
It's not transparent aluminum, but covid-killing stainless steel is the hero we need right now
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 06, 2021
(9 to 5 Mac)
 
 
 
Life360, a vendor of "family security" apps, is named as one of the largest suppliers of personalized cellphone tracking data. Fark: they just bought Tile
source: 9to5mac.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Scientists think the Omicron variant of COVID-19 evolved all its mutations in one very diseased person with a weak immune system. Mom?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Department of Justice)
 
 
 
Subby's friend's husband was just busted for possession and distribution of child pron. Need any advice to help her through so she can survive and know what to expect
source: justice.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Futurama did it
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 05, 2021
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Remember back when there were COVID plague outbreaks on cruise ships? Like today
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
This week on the Sunday Morning Music Club: what's your personal theme song?
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
ABC, Jeff Garlin's PR person decline to comment on rumors of his poor behavior on the set of The Goldbergs. Jeff Garlin: LEEEEEROY JENKINS
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 04, 2021
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Wanna get away and don't want to wait? Hit the ground running at your destination with Southwest's new early deplaning option
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)