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headlines found matching 'news'
Fri January 27, 2023
(East Hampton Star)
 
 
 
Good news for those who like the written word, John Steinbeck's Sag Harbor, Long Island house could soon become a writers retreat for both aspiring and established authors
source: easthamptonstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Florida bests Virginia in youngest school kid to be caught packing
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
BuzzFeed says it will use OpenAI's ChatGPT to "enhance" its content and quizzes, stock jumps 150%. This truly brings us one step closer to Skynet
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Nutter that claims he's a 'time traveller from 2858' says 'human bones will be found on Mars' this year that will prove that human life originated on the red planet. Subby knows this isn't true because women are from Venus (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bed Bath and Beyond shares drop 20% on bankruptcy news. No coupon required
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 26, 2023
(MSN)
 
 
 
In unrelated news, Fark's servers are now liquid cooled
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Get a job you lazy Farks, so say the wingnuts at CBS News
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
4PM Eastern - It's the Fark News Livestream with Drew, Christine, Dill & Lucky. Regenerated Anus Pooping Unicorn Asteroid Apocalypse edition
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Kimberly-Clark forecasts constipated growth but promises "mind-blowing" poop news is coming out
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
January has been a bust. February is not looking too cold either. But increasingly nervous weather forecasters, snow shoveling and plowing businesses, swear the East Coast could still get serious snow in March. In other news, it was 51 in NYC today
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Headline: New e-mails link Hunter Biden to wife of recently arrested ex-FBI agent. Story: E-mails were from the lacrosse program that both their daughters participated in
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Looper)
 
 
 
Justin Roiland is now the solar opposite of employed at Hulu
source: looper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
So I built a third courthouse. That courthouse burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Click on "Public" and then look for "Posted Comments". How many have you made on Fark? Subby clocks in at 4397
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Congress might investigate why DirecTV dropped Newsmax. Maybe it's because the right-wing channel wanted the satellite carrier to pay them a carriage fee
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"How much do hotel rooms for Super Bowl weekend cost? A lot." Thanks for that breaking news, USA Today
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Just when you thought the GOP could never produce a worse VP pick than Sarah Palin, you betcha a new candidate appears
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
News: After exercise, beer may be better to have than sports drinks. Fark: Only non-alcoholic beer. D'OH
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
"George Santos' new treasurer wants you to know he's not George Santos' treasurer"
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 25, 2023
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
News Mins is slapped down by "The Invisible Hand of the Free Market"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Air Guard general: Wingmen, personal servants. Same thing, right?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Watch for falling iguanas
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Axios wouldn't bait-n-switch "Biden's new tax hammer" to describe "Stupid new GOP tax plan" would they?
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Wednesday is here, and feel free to dance around to The Cramps as we navigate through another barrage of news on the 7 p.m. ET MSNBC thread
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Did someone just pull a Frank Pentangeli on Biden?
source: neuburger.substack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Faux News for 2 weeks: "Vice Presidents can't declassify documents; only Presidents can." Faux News after Pence was caught with classified docs: "Vice Presidents can declassify"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
DirecTV sends Newsmax direct-to-trashcan
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Not hanging up on me proves you want me in that office, committing those crimes. You want the crimes? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE CRIMES
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Disney+ renews second season of Extraordinary before first season even launches in move called a "reverse Netflix"
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TV Overmind)
 
 
 
Article claims "apparently many people missed the point of the Last Jedi's Canto Bight mission". In related news, apparently there was a point in the Last Jedi's Canto Bight mission
source: tvovermind.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Newsmin
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Game Rant)
 
 
 
Fox News's outrage of the day: Power-saving mode on Xbox
source: gamerant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Outgoing Netflix co-CEO George Santos says the streaming service has never cancelled a successful show
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
For reasons that have absolutely nothing at all to do with Fox News Corp. being on the verge of being sued into oblivion by Dominion, Rupert Murdoch has had a sudden change of heart about merging it with Fox Corp
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 24, 2023
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Rick and Morty will be back, just without Rick or Morty
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Doing remote work but not living close to your "assigned" office? That's now a firing at TikTok
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
News: Buttigieg approves $400M for "key link" to Port of Oakland. Fark: the Golden Gate Bridge. Ultrafark: with that level of SF awareness Buttigieg might not be gay
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Are horses being slaughtered on Florida farms? Neigh
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
When you've lost Dan Abrams... Goodbye, America. 1776-2023 RIP
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
Houston Texans considering uniform changes for next season. Still no word on changing out the guys wearing those uniforms for next season
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
James Gunn to the Nerds: "Fark off. It won't wreck your suspension of disbelief if that AT&T lady plays both Squirrel Girl and Power Girl"
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Today)
 
 
 
No sidewindin' bushwackin', hornswagglin' cracker croaker is gonna rouin mah bishket cutter
source: nationaltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
So Soros hates Fox News so much he targets a weatherman and not the hosts of Fox & Friends, or Tucker or any of those other jerks
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Which is great news for HR as they're already too busy taking Friday off and telling you that your boss is your fault
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Yes, you enjoyed a snack and a win, but unfortunately, you're now forever known as "Potato Girl" because this made the news
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Owners of the most popular car in America, the Ford F-150, most associate themselves with the words 'powerful' and 'rugged,' even though they 'rarely or never' use their truck to haul stuff
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 23, 2023
(Apple Insider)
 
 
 
Good news, Farkers still using the nearly decade old iPhone 5s: Apple dropped another security update
source: appleinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
And now NorCal wants a turn
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Louder Sound)
 
 
 
Consider yourself warned
source: loudersound.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
President Joe Biden orders flags to half-staff across America as "mark of respect" for Monterey Park massacre victims, never to return to full-staff in foreseeable future
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside the Magic)
 
 
 
Want to own water from Splash Mountain? People are selling it for lots of money
source: insidethemagic.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Good news: You matched all the numbers in the EuroMillions lottery, with a £182m jackpot. Bad news: You paid with a bank card online and your ticket isn't valid because you didn't have £2.50 in your account to cover the price
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Peyton to Broncos. New hotness: Payton to Broncos
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida gas prices rise due to China
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Fox News' entire legal defense in the $1.6 billion Dominion Voting Systems lawsuit is basically that their anchors were only repeating things other people were saying. Without, you know, actually researching them. Like one would expect "news" to do
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Apparently, it's time to end the Razzies once and for all for being too tacky. In other news, there was apparently a time when the Razzies wasn't tacky
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 22, 2023
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Lovehoney releases its annual US sex map. In related news, there is an "annual sex map" of the US
source: spy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
'Masochist' Republicans are poised to hand Democrats a gift, warn the editors of that noted left-wing rag the Wall Street Journal
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
China has good and bad news about its COVID outbreak: The Lunar New Year travel rush will unlikely to lead to a surge ...because the virus has already infected 80 percent of population
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPRI Rhode Island)
 
 
 
Just like a lot of New Englanders, one dog from Rhode Island headed down to Florida for a year before deciding it was time to go back home
source: wpri.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Survey asks Gen Z want they want to be when they grow up. They will be quite disappointed when they find out the answer is "societal collapse survivor on a nearly uninhabitable planet"
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 21, 2023
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Will Biden's documents be a subject of mockery? Who will portray George Santos? How will Update handle Alec Baldwin's charges? Will David Crosby be mourned? Sam Smith is the musical guest while the quirky Aubrey Plaza hosts. SNL, 11:30PM ET on NBC
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big E Radio)
 
 
 
Noise Factor comes to you at 10:30PM ET and tonight is chock full of some new discoveries this week. RebelMatic, Pale Mare, Sanity Control, Chivo Negro, and more. Upcoming tour news, and a saucy number from a viral video that was here on Fark
source: bigeradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Newsweek pulls Trump's greatest hits out of the cutout bin. 'Oh Hillary' and 'Barak around the clock' don't stand the test of time. 'Biden my time' remix and 'My vaccinated heart' fail to chart
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
News outlets sue for access to police bodycam evidence, are told the files are right next to the Epstein client spreadsheet
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Asian politics, world geography, weird British terms, and of course Florida Man are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Jan 12-18: Sticky Situation Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
CNET pauses publishing AI-written stories after disclosure controversy. Using clickbait and affiliate links still OK
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
News: Grizzlies players have to be separated from courtside Lakers fan. Fark: Courtside Lakers fan Shannon Sharpe
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Not news: Brothers play on different NHL teams. News: They play against one another for the first time. Fark: Both get high sticking penalties. UltraFark: on each other on the same play
source: ca.sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 20, 2023
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Al Capone's wrecked illegal booze party boat finally revealed under the surface of Lake Charlevoix in Michigan by divers. Geraldo Rivera realizes he's in the wrong place at the wrong time again (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Not news: Idiot gets fined by police after filming himself breaking the law. Fark: British Prime Minister. Ultrafark: This is his second police fine in the last year
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
Hero
 
Biden: No ragrets
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The artist formerly known as Britney Spears
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Alabama farmer secretly paid 100 dollars each month to help cover the cost of prescription medications for town-folk. Subby was looking for some major snark here, but it just got really dusty
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Scammers gonna scam: Finally the U.S. Department of Agriculture is cracking down on produce that's falsely labeled 'organic'
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Slow news day: Is potato
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Self-proclaimed lover of the Constitution can't name the third amendment
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Pizza Hut to finally create a pizza size large enough to feed the typical American family
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asbury Park Press)
 
 
 
Abandoned alligator story was a croc
source: app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man fails to read Matthew 26:52
source: catholicnewsagency.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 19, 2023
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
The night before Microsoft went full Clippy on 10,000 employees, company executives got treated to an intimate concert by Sting
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
4PM Eastern - It's the Fark News Livestream with Drew, Christine, Dill & Lucky. Soviet Korea Fish Pokemon Disaster edition
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JamBase)
 
 
 
Happy birthday to Owsley "Bear" Stanley. In other news, Timothy Leary's dead
source: jambase.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Feeling blue about your hard life? I have good news for you
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flipboard)
 
 
 
Coffee pods surprisingly beneficial for the environment, says newspaper which coincidentally is also owned by a guy who will mail you coffee pods with no fee with two day shipping by subscription
source: flipboard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(25 News)
 
 
 
Police ask for public's help in identifying the Republicanmobile carrying the Republican who torched an Illinois Planned Parenthood clinic. I hate Illinois Republicans
source: 25newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Deep thoughts on Fox News. Watters: Dick Cheney was shot in the face. Did anyone write a thousand words about how Dick was feeling? Gutfield: He wasn't shot in the face. He shot somebody in the face. Watters: Whatever
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 18, 2023
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Please send eggs
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
So you wanted to take a tropical vacation this winter from Saskatoon? Sunwing Airlines: TOO DAMN BAD
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Good news for the Bills: Damar Hamlin at facility almost daily. Bad news for the Bills: LB Baylon Spector is, too
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Fiction Anthology)
 
 
 
"When I was your age, television was called books." ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, Inconceivable Edition
source: farkfiction.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brookings Institution)
 
 
 
Deepfake challenges and disruptions in wartime will only grow, warns Winston Churchill. In related news, Abraham Lincoln wants you to try harder
source: brookings.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Qantas's streak of not losing a passenger since December 13, 1951, is still intact after this mayday alert for an issue with the engine. Still the only airline that Ray Babbitt will fly
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Cut sales and QA to save costs, lose half your customers. Much genius, so many trails blazed
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
"Ahit happens"
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
AB remains in the news, and not for anything positive
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
"Please state nature of the medical emergency. Side note: have you seen Sarah Connor?"
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
News: Flight attendants caught smuggling 27 kg of a regulated substance into the Philippines. Fark: It was onions
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
The law and order/fiscally conservative candidate: someone who knows where to find rent-a-thugs and how to chisel them down to $500 each for some light terrorism
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ultimate Classic Rock)
 
 
 
Kenny Loggins announces his final tour. In related news, Kenny Loggins was still touring
source: ultimateclassicrock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TVLine)
 
 
 
Only 21-time Academy Award nominee in the Building
source: tvline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Looking for credibility, the Bonesaw Golf Tour to team up with the network which brings you "Masters of Illusion"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 17, 2023
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Not News: Police chase last more than a hour Fark: suspect was driving a John Deere at 20MPH
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The Tuesday Night Science Channel Discussion Thread, 9PM Eastern
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Old News: Private equity buying up American homes. New Hotness: Private equity is buying up America's Funniest Home Videos
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
According to Fox News, the reason there was no visitor log for Joe Biden's house is because he lives in a crack den with drug addicts and drug dealers coming and going at all times of day and night
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Florida celebrates MLK Day the only way it knows how. Surprisingly does not involve nudity or bath salts, still entirely predictable for Florida however
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida woman zips husband up in suitcase to die while playing hide-and-seek
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nintendo Life)
 
 
 
Not News: YouTube streamer's credit card information is posted on the internet accidentally. News: During his live stream WTFark: by his fish playing Pokèmon
source: nintendolife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Here comes the latest Scottish squirrelpox outbreak. As usual, the red coats get the worst of it
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Day 328 of WW3: Ukraine General Staff says Russia shelled over 15 settlements near Bakhmut in eastern Donetsk, including the salt-mining town of Soledar. Wait. Didn't the Orcs say they had captured Soledar? It's your Tuesday Ukraine war discussion
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winston-Salem Journal)
 
 
 
Carolina vandals have gone from shooting out transformers to... destroying the broadcast towers for the Triad region's oldest sports & newsradio station
source: journalnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 16, 2023
(PetaPixel)
 
 
 
Kodak responds to surging interest in film photography by jacking up prices by 40 percent. You'd be correct if your first takeaway from this news is mild shock that Kodak still exists
source: petapixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Bangor Daily News reprints Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech...but leaves out the parts that might make white people feel guilty about themselves (But you can bet your ass they left in the Republicans' favorite MLK quote)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nature)
 
 
 
Roubles down the drain: Russian Twitter trolls in 2016 were not as cost effective as Fox News
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Not news: Football team complains about officiating. News: Complains that it cost them a game. Fark: A game in which they weren't even playing
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Baffler)
 
 
 
So apparently the UK government has been spying on every fat kid in England, and the database has been hacked. And that's the good news. The bad news is way, way weirder
source: thebaffler.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MacRumors)
 
 
 
Apple is making a lot less money from the iPhone 14 Pro. This is bad news...for Tim Apple
source: macrumors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Covid Globes
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
In Denver, change is inevitable. Except from vending machines
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
Toddler wandering around an apartment complex with a loaded handgun is peak Flori*checks notes* Indiana
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 15, 2023
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Newsflash: refineries smell and release noxious pollution
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Screen Rant)
 
 
 
Congratulations hate-watchers, despite terrible reviews, dated racist humor and sexualized high schoolers, Velma has been renewed for another season
source: screenrant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Endangered species, bread, rappers, and Florida Man are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Jan 5-11: Golden Egg Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Yodo-chan the whale pronounced dead after it was observed not to be moving or breathing. Osaka authorities determining whether to dispose of carcass with serving trays or high explosives
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Man turns his head too quickly, realizes his neck is not going to buff right out after suffering three strokes and severing a major artery
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 14, 2023
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Not news: guy vandalizes building. Maybe news: guy vandalizes church. News: multiple Catholic churches. Fark: gets caught right away after a low speed chase. Ultra fark: a 40 year old guy that subby knew at one point
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Harry Potter star Robbie Coltrane's ashes scattered at his favorite NYC spots, including where the famous orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally. In related news: Customers at Katz's Delicatessen told not to ask about what's in the pepper shakers
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
Remember how everyone had to upgrade their computers to better handle remote work and remote school? Guess what happened to PC sales now that most people already have newish hardware
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Not news: Kids enjoy swimming pool. Fark: Kids enjoy this "swimming pool"
source: theyucatantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Mandarin duck spotted in Wisconsin lake. Plum sauce, onion, and pancakes to follow
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
I hope you weren't planning on anything positive happening for America this year. Because we have wall-to-wall Garage Gate and Debt Ceiling for the next 12 months. Drink up
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
But, why?
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Netflix unplugs Uncoupled
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 13, 2023
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Google announces a new game for Stadia, and bluetooth support for the controller. And yes, Stadia is still being shut down in less than a week. Play now, while you still can
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
News: Shaq makes good on a bet. Not news: By eating something
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Robbie Bachman drops out of overdrive
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Maybe they should just start charging for parking
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
MSNBC struggling to spin Biden's classified document dilemma
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Teachers debating AI-generated essays. In my day, you reworded articles
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Another fake fentanyl exposure involving police, this one has the Yonkers, NY police headquarters going into total lockdown over some officer trying to get time off
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Not news: republican's wife voted for him. News: More than once. Fark: 22 times more than once
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Day 324 of WW3: High intensity battle continues in Soledar, with heavy Russian casualties. In other news, the head of Russia's Duma suggests property confiscation for those who speak out against the war. It's your Friday Ukraine war discussion
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Not News: Pharmacy employee refuses to fill orders for birth control citing 'religious belief'. News: Was fired for refusing to perform job. Fark: Former employee is now suing on the grounds of 'religious intolerance'
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 12, 2023
(Axios)
 
 
 
We underestimate how much we're liked at work. Which is fine because being liked doesn't pay the bills
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Blockchain resurrects MoviePass. In other news, snakes eats tail
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Lisa Marie Presley rushed to Heartbreak Hotel
source: tonyortega.substack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
"Tech's recent jettisoning of employees is driven more by market scrutiny of some of the bad ideas tech 'geniuses' have dumped money on in recent years - rather than economic fundamentals"
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Alex Jone's lawyer to Judge: Hey could you delay that 6-month suspension of my law license for incompetent lawyering? See, I have this really important criminal trial coming up where I'm defending a Proud Boy on 1/6 charges, and... Judge: LOL, no
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
4PM Eastern - It's the Fark News Livestream with Drew, Christine, Dill & Lucky. General Armageddon Meth Pigeon Princess Di OnlyFans edition
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
John Carpenter wanted to quit the business after working with "he shall not be named who needs to be killed. No, no, no, that's terrible. He needs to be set on fire." He's Chevy Chase, and you're not
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
George Santos' lies now require a running list for tracking purposes
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
News media almost kills Congressman George Santos
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Not news: Giannis Antetokounmpo had a double-double against the Hawks. Fark: His first career double-double when scoring in single digits
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox News has now merged the Biden Classified Documents Scandal with Hunter Biden's laptop. Now do Benghazi
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wrestling Inc)
 
 
 
♫ Here comes the Money ♫ Here comes the Money -- Money money money money money money money ♫
source: wrestlinginc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Euro Weekly News)
 
 
 
Wi nøt trei a rare earths mein in Sweden this yër?
source: euroweeklynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 11, 2023
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
All has no pants
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: In which Drew's kids react to old comedy
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Fat, angry Florida man threatens to eat Ham Rove
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Meme stock rally pushes shares bed, bath, and beyond all reasonable valuations
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
The Yellow River lives down to its name
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Fiction Anthology)
 
 
 
"Ideas are easy. It's the execution of ideas that really separates the sheep from the goats." ― Sue Grafton. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, goats and sheep edition
source: farkfiction.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Former newspaper editor shares 12 dirty little "secrets" of political journalism that haven't been secrets for literally decades given the dozens of times we've all seen each of these in any given week
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Guessing the NIL check just cleared
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Humpty Dumpty is not an egg? This is shattering news
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(247 Sports)
 
 
 
The Deion Sanders era was to begin vs. Arizona State, but after Prime ran his big fat yapper about it, the NCAA nixed the game
source: 247sports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Now that the GOP has got what it needed out of "George Santos", disowning him like a campaign promise
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
CNN: both sides are ba... hang on, we have breaking news, we're being told that these two things are not in fact the same
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Fox 'News' is back on the birther bandwagon
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Good news everybody. Animal sacrifice is back on the table*. *As long as the table is sterile and the city gets a week notice
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1964, the US Surgeon General announced a definitive link between smoking and cancer, would go on to investigate links between being stabbed and bleeding or destroying bathrooms after eating at Taco Bell
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Here's the thread where we talk about there being no winner in yesterday's Mega Millions drawing and make snarky comments about a tax on stupid people being applied again this week
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Day 322 of WW3: Fighting rages in the center of Soledar. The city was hit by Russian attacks hours after a surprise visit by German top diplomat Annalena Baerbock. It's your Wednesday Ukraine war discussion
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Today in "Every accusation is a confession", "Suspiciously specific denials", and "Trump spouts some nonsense": Trump Wildly Speculates Biden Gave Classified Docs to China Before Adding Denial No One Asked For: 'I Certainly Wouldn't Do That'
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Four coaches are permanently banned from the Nation Women's Soccer League for sexual, racial, and verbal abuse. In related news Saudi Arabia is looking into starting a women's soccer league
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 10, 2023
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
When DIY personalized license plates meet truth in advertising
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wrestling Inc)
 
 
 
Bah GAWD King Th-That's Breach Of a Fiduciary Lawsuit's music And it's bringing a steel chair for Mister McMahon
source: wrestlinginc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Are you illegally streaming Premier League games? I have some bad news for you
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Good news, everybody Homer's makeup shot gun is now a reality, get yours now and surprise your wife. Take care of her morning routine in a second by blasting her in the face before she even wakes up
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
House Speaker McCarthy was forced to create "shadow document" that contains concessions made to Freedom Caucus members in writing...because the word of Speaker McCarthy is worth as much as the dirt on the boot of a January 6 insurrectionist
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Private school suddenly closes over "family dispute" leaving working parents frustrated, angry, without adequate childcare. If only local governments provided educational services for kids at little to no cost
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good news, everybody. The ozone layer is on track to be fully recovered in 40 years. So after the oceans have swallowed the coastal cities and extreme weather has laid waste to everything else, we'll have that going for us, which is nice
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science News Magazine)
 
 
 
50 years ago, scientists sequenced a gene for the first time
source: sciencenews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Can anyone confirm if this is true? Subby would check for himself, but it's nap time and there's so many apps that need updating and Bing has gotten so complicated. Why, I remember when nothing happened until the 11:00 news. I could curl up in my sha
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
Man arrested for leaving package of dog poop at office front door of New Mexico State Police, missing comedy gold achievement by not setting it afire
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Surely they're not serious: Pentagon considers sending Stryker combat vehicles to Ukraine. They're an entirely different type of combat vehicle altogether. Russian troops are nervous, and not for the first time
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
...and, in Future News, A Plainview, Connecticut family was found mauled in their living room
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 09, 2023
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
M3²GAN is already being designed
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL-TV Baltimore)
 
 
 
Is a house vacant if it contains a dead body?
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
50 Cent, Eminem developing '8 Mile' TV series. This story brought to you by the expected reaction to this news
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov comments on latest weapons support for Ukraine coming from France, Germany and the US. In other news, Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov hasn't fallen out of a window yet
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The top 10 most profitable side hustles for 2023. Submitting to news aggregators while naked remains its own reward
source: businesstimes.com.sg   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Tate owned so hard by Greta he's reportedly been hospitalized. No word on if he was sent to the burn ward
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Drew Curtis: Some Head News Aggregator Guy or Chief Executive Global Farkhead, Duke of New Farkistan, A-#1?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Goldman Sachs announces plans to fire 3,200 workers this week on news that some of their executives can no longer afford to light cigars with $100 bills and have resorted to using $50s or even $20s instead
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Lovie fired as head coach of Texans. Thurston is going to be really angry
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 08, 2023
(Forbes)
 
 
 
World's smallest violin futures spike on news that we might be heading for a "richcession"
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
RIP Uniform Resource locator, better known as Utah's "porn sniffing dog". In other news, Utah had a porn sniffing dog that caught bad porn pups. Errr perps
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Well, don't buy a house yet
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 07, 2023
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
News: New discount airline lands jet at wrong airport, leaving passengers stranded on their own, 55 miles from their destination. Fark: This happened on 5 separate flights on New Year's Eve. Ultra Fark: and 27 times in 2022
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Traditional Japanese culture, cheese, Papal history, and Florida Man are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Dec. 29-Jan. 4: Pretentious Food Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Guest to Laura Ingraham: You murder mercy for profit. Laura Ingraham: Cut
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Police responding to domestic violence situation in typical fashion go to wrong address
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yer Some Wizard, Harry)
 
 
 
Expelliarmus
source: myballard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Day 318 of WW3: Putin breaks his own ceasefire. Reports of strikes on Ukraine's frontline after Vladimir Putin ordered a truce to observe Russian Orthodox Christmas. In other news, water is wet and Orcs lie. It's your Saturday Ukraine war discussion
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(East Hampton Star)
 
 
 
Today in hard-hitting East Hampton Star police blotter news: Man called the cops to report a plastic bag he found in his yard
source: easthamptonstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 06, 2023
(US House of Representatives)
 
 
 
And now, the end is near and so we face, the final ballot. Kevin says he finally has the votes and he's counted them himself. Fox News waits to proclaim this the greatest triumph in United States Speaker history. The 14th vote begins 10pm ET CSPAN
source: live.house.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Four NM Democrats targeted for attacks by Y'all Qaeda have their homes and workplaces shot up. Scary tag sending News tag out to draw fire
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
You know, Subby could watch Pete Buttigieg own Fox News all day
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
The Madden Curse strikes again
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Bing's about to get a whole lot more racist
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 05, 2023
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
After crashing into a St. Louis store, driver blames speeding, bald tires, running out of gas, having no change for cab fare, losing his tux at the cleaners, locking his keys in the car, being in an earthquake, a flood, and locusts
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Some lucky Lucker won $15 million lottery ticket
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BJ Penn)
 
 
 
And so it starts...TBS drops Dana White's Power Slap for his power slap. Grab some popcorn and watch the flood of sponsors and advertisers of UFC follow suit
source: bjpenn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Racer.com)
 
 
 
F1 to Michael Andretti 2021: you no can haz. Andretti to F1 2023: ok, I'm bringing GM with. We cool?
source: racer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Cop detains and threatens Wall Street Journal reporter who was conducting interviews for a story. Why would a cop detain a WSJ reporter whe... oh, now I see why
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Flower that smells like death due to bloom in Adelaide after many years. Expected to go on a murderous rampage shortly after
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Six seasons and a Lego set?
source: jaysbrickblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: You can't do Dry January when your house is flooded
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
JUST LET IT DIE. Raze the buildings, salt the earth, and stone the involved venture capitalists but put it out of its(our) misery
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Romance novelist who committed suicide two years ago announces that it was actually her evil twin
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Celsius exchange fraudster Mashinsky: "Banks are not your friends." Bankruptcy judge: "not your crypto, deposits belong to Celsius"
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Woman finds teddy bear with human ashes inside. No word if it started talking in strange voices to her
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Sony and Honda cop Afeela
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Young Achievers Science and Math School fight club
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good news, parents. You'll be able to trust the safety of the new $3,300 self-driving stroller being debuted at CES every bit as much you can trust a self-driving Tesla
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 04, 2023
(Komo)
 
 
 
Not news: Illicit opioid use is an epidemic. News: Community plans to build a treatment center. Fark: NIMBY
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Fiction Anthology)
 
 
 
"Great minds are always feared by lesser minds." ―Dan Brown, The Lost Symbol. Well, that explains why everyone's afraid of my Harry Potter Battlestar Galactica slash fic. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, Minding Edition
source: farkfiction.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
Red Lake considers a future without blood quantum. In other news, Marvel movies are getting really weird
source: mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Couple uses hack so the right person sits in the adjoining seat while flying Southwest. In other news Southwest has actual seats on planes that people can occupy while flying between places. I must inform Charles Lindbergh of this development
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRIC Richmond)
 
 
 
Residents call this guy the "neighborhood creep." You may not want to know what he allegedly called himself
source: wric.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
U.S. News and World Report's new list of the most influential countries is as accurate as its rankings of universities
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Fox News finds the House Speaker angle we all have been waiting for
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Outkick)
 
 
 
Expert has reasons why you shouldn't get your face tattooed
source: outkick.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Peace Like a River is a gospel song that has been recorded by a duet and is being released later this month. Oh...and the duet are Dionne Warwick and Dolly Parton
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US House of Representatives)
 
 
 
McCarthy believes the 4th time is the charm while Jordan is ready to have him hit the showers. Fox News ponders why Biden can't form a functioning government. It's the Speaker Vote: Part Deux. 12pm ET on CSPAN
source: live.house.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Finally: a useful field guide to properly identify fellow farkers
source: jackashepherd.medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good news, everybody. Maine's lobstermen have won their lawsuit over environmentalists, which means you'll be able to keep eating your sea cockroaches with butter and it's only gonna cost us all the existence of right whales
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Of course you know, this means war
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Hot tub crime machine?
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
House GOP lives dangerously and with first move of power, removes gun detectors from Capitol, unconcerned about the possibility that in these heated times, during a contentious vote, they just may shoot an aye out
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 03, 2023
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
The name is Quicksilver. James Quicksilver. You didn't see that coming?
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
In today's oddly specific news, the stolen vehicle fell 21.3 feet
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
Hero
 
Fark's favorite sports analyst has some breaking news
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Destructoid)
 
 
 
System Shock remake gets a March 2023 release date. Do you feel the fear swell inside that filthy bag of meat? What is it like, to be afraid?
source: destructoid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
In a bit of good news, 2020 fundraiser created by Damar Hamlin has received millions of dollars in online donations since his injury
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone. Bitcoin will either go up 1,400% or plunge 70% this year. Adjust your retirement savings and YOLOs accordingly
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Six feet under the Earth, Wind and Fire
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
D'oh! Chris Ledesma, music editor for The Simpsons, has died
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
With hot young co-anchors in charge, PBS NewsHour is going all ups on your YouTubes and TikToks, making it easier than ever to fall asleep to important world news on your phone
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
I'm guessing this one made a sound
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 02, 2023
(NPR)
 
 
 
Greetings to you future dwellers of 2023. from our humble perch here in 1923. We hope you are have your robot servant read you this news as you jet off in your flying car to your four-hour workday in a coal-free, disease and cancer free paradise
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
1899 gets cancelled. Now do 2020
source: netflixlife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Consumer Reports)
 
 
 
Good news all you fat farks, cheese is actually good for you
source: consumerreports.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
They call me Doctor Love. I got the cure you're thinking of
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
"I didn't know that hanging on the rim would bend it," says likely long-time recipient of sports-based passing grades
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(France 24)
 
 
 
Arma 3 is the Deep Fake of computer games
source: france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(7 News Australia)
 
 
 
Even the helicopters in Australia want to kill you
source: 7news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Original documentary about Marvel Comics Stan Lee coming to Disney+ in 2023, to include cameos by ... but that would be telling
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you're a foreigner who'd been collecting seashells or lint balls or bottle caps or whatever the hell else they use for money in Canada to buy some property there, I have bad news
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 01, 2023
(Fark)
 
 
 
Victorian England, weird Christmas traditions, women's sports, and the Olympics are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Dec. 22-28: Happy New Year Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Monstrous creature rebels against Dr. Frankenstein. This is not a repeat from 1818
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 31, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tesla workers ordered not to say bad things about management, pay discrepancy, and not to cooperate with officials reviewing working conditions
source: morningstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 30, 2022
(Axios)
 
 
 
Biden sending his National Security Advisor to put Bibi in the corner
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Today in 'why we can't have nice things' news: French homeless man who built his own awesome fairytale castle now forced to tear it down because it poses a danger
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Article asks "will Seattle ever reclaim its status as a vibrant superstar city". In related news, somebody apparently thinks Seattle had "vibrant superstar city" status at some point in its past
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
It's 2023 soon. This is bad news...for Joe Biden
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
USA posting ISIS kills like McDonald's customers served
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Former Trumper who got a job at The View calls out Trumper who got Fox News job
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Woman explains why she won't be doing Veganuary ever again. In other news, there's something called Veganuary
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 8000 La Crosse)
 
 
 
Over 770,000 Wisconsinites have something in common
source: news8000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Cursed ventriloquist dummy kept the incoming administration out of COVID briefings
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Three newspapers in Alabama move to online only. Subscriber base fire up their modems
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 29, 2022
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplanation: The most popular Slatesplanations of 2022
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
George "Pathological Liar" Santos used the alias "Anthony Zabrovsky" on a charity GoFundMe page
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Fox News decides Mayor Pete is now the CEO of Southwest Airlines
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston 25 News)
 
 
 
Electronics purchasers wind up with shingles, presumably aren't old enough for the vaccine to be recommended
source: boston25news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Warner Bros Discovery so out of ideas they're considering rebooting Harry Potter
source: screengeek.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Thanks for coming to the Christmas party, employees. FYI we're closing the restaurant in three days, so you're all out of a job. PS subby notes another Coco's diner in LA just abruptly closed; chain going under?
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox News OUTRAGED that NPR coddled Kamala Harris during interview instead of asking tough questions like their own pundits do. "Democrats absolutely own National Public Radio. They are dominant, and NPR is submissive." Every confession an admission
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Thaiger)
 
 
 
There once was an anarchic rider from Phuket
source: thethaiger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: I survived 2022 and all I got was this lousy canceled flight
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 28, 2022
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
GQP plans for Biden investigation, No not Hunter or Joe. Major
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
News: Nassau County DA opens investigation into George Santos habitual lying. WHAT A TWIST: Republican DA
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Modest Mouse drummer and co-founder Jeremiah Green diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter Special Edition: Enjoy Fark's Headlines of the Year!
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Fiction Anthology)
 
 
 
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves / Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; / All mimsy were the borogoves, / And the mome raths outgrabe." -Lewis Carroll, Jabberwocky. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, mimsy edition
source: farkfiction.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
I did that (thumbs up, smiling Joe)
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Arizona family rescued after driving over unfamiliar surface near Seattle, should have checked what.com weather
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 27, 2022
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The bottom has dropped out from underneath used Tesla prices, and those cars are taking longer than average to move off the lot. This is of course good news...for Elon
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Tesla stock crashes and burns, just like the cars
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL-TV Baltimore)
 
 
 
Man arrested for putting the lotion on its skin, multiple times
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Today in "News everyone was aware of": Elon Musk is surrounded by yes-men, and it's a recipe for disaster
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SportsNaut)
 
 
 
The Carlos Correa sh*tshow is the gift that keeps giving; he is refusing to restructure his NY Mets contract (which wasn't even signed, but Cohen's public comments locked his numbers in), now three teams are pursing Correa
source: sportsnaut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Not news: Gen Z and millennials don't like talking on the phone. Fark: You can make $480 an hour teaching them how to do it
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
OK, see if you can guess who made Fox News' list of the Top 5 Political losers of 2022. Write down your predictions in order, check the TFA, and report back in the thread. Here's a hint: He's actually on there, but probably not where he should be
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Hanukkah, European geography, the public domain, and Florida Woman are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Dec 15-21: Holy @#$ It's Cold Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Subby has read this article a few times and still doesn't know what the trend is. Something involving pretending celebrities died, Twitter, TikTok and Lois Griffin. It's a smorgasbord of stupidity
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
Hero
 
Spice Girls star Mel C pulls out of New Year's Eve gig in Poland over broadcaster's anti-LGBT stances. Candace Cameron Bure seen booking a flight to Warsaw
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
Someone hacked Piers Morgan's Twitter account and posted racist, hateful things. So, how can they tell it was hacked?
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Day 307 of WW3: Russia's foreign minister Sergey Lavrov issues ultimatum to Ukraine to accept Moscow's proposals, or its army would decide "the issue". That's the joke. It's your Tuesday Ukraine war discussion
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
NYC Catholic priest and brother of mob boss died in October, leaves $7 million estate to his son. Wait, what?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Good news, everybody. American voters no longer care if you eat kale or arugula. Tan suits and crudite still on the table
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"X Could Mean The End For Trump" says increasingly nervous news media for the seventh time this week
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 26, 2022
(NBC News)
 
 
 
NBC News finds at least a half dozen people in Buffalo who don't know how to prepare for a winter storm when give a week's notice that it's coming
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Niche Gamer)
 
 
 
Sony, totally unthreatened by Microsoft's Acquivision and Game Pass, decides to take its Final Fantasies and go home
source: nichegamer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bad news if you thought you were flying home today
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
Broncos fire Nathaniel Hackett. Guess he couldn't
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cumberland Times-News)
 
 
 
Good news on Christmas? It's a miracle
source: times-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
West Point to remove all its Confederate monuments from campus. In other news, West Point still had Confederate monuments on campus
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 25, 2022
(KNAU Arizona Public Radio)
 
 
 
NPR reporting the hell out of the news, discovers listener has a sourdough pancake recipe for special occasions only
source: knau.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 24, 2022
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Day 304 of WW3: Putin tells Orc defense industry heads to "up game" so that army quickly gets all the weapons, equipment, and military hardware it needs. And just like that, Timmy, Sistema disappeared. It's your Saturday Ukraine war discussion
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 23, 2022
(Axios)
 
 
 
Bloomberg mulling acquisition of WSJ/Dow Jones, and/or WaPo ...still no taste for fowl tasting Twitter
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dow sinks on news that the US economy *checks notes* grew. Faster than expected
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Audacy)
 
 
 
Drew joins Middays with Jayme and Grayson on 98.1 KMBZ in Kansas City this afternoon at 12:30 ET to discuss twitter, time travel, and the state of the media
source: audacy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"Backup Partner: The Plan B for Love" story by aptly named Refresh News
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Large dog tries to get out of vet appointment by biting a half-dozen people. Only technically successful
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 22, 2022
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
More evidence that Wisconsin is the Florida of the Midwest
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Male synchronized swimming finally allowed in next Olympics. Martin Short, Harry Shearer seen brushing up their technique
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Pics of Harley Davidson's new 350cc and 500cc motorcycles, please do not confuse this 500cc motorcycle with the 500cc Street motorcycle Harley sold until deciding it was unprofitable
source: cycleworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: Incoming snowmageddon, plus finding out which Headlines are Of The Year
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Literary Hub)
 
 
 
The 10 biggest literary news stories of 2022. You know it's been a rough year when "getting stabbed in the eye" is only number 2
source: lithub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
JJ Watt has 111.5 career sacks not including this sack he just leveled on a Twitter troll
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
4 p.m. Eastern - It's the Fark News Livestream with Drew, Christine, Dill and Lucky. Headline of the Year 2022 edition
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(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Get ready for a lot of weirdos showing up looking for Drew
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
"It's not a sleigh. We have to have something to warm up while the reindeer are getting ready for the season. So it's a little pre-season game going on here. (We're) trying to make some kids smile and lots of adults, too"
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
I don't know what a Justin Bieber is, but he is about to make a deal to sell his music rights for around $200 million
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
In other news, Squids have knees
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
DeSantis Democrats are totally a real thing. Seriously, why would Fox News lie?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Not News: EV owner takes a risk purchasing new vehicle. News: Ends up with problems. FARK: Problems from his HOA that doesn't allow pickups parked in front of his house
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 21, 2022
(Comic Book)
 
 
 
Koko better B. Ware that he's in the hospital for an unspecified medical issue
source: comicbook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
The good news is that Greenland's name will actually be accurate pretty soon. The bad news is literally everything else
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Fiction Anthology)
 
 
 
"George, you can type this shiat, but you sure can't say it." -Harrison Ford. This is your George Lucas themed Fark Writer's Thread, because not all examples are positive
source: farkfiction.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Boulder)
 
 
 
Just in time for Christmas, Kellyanne Conway is back in the news. What a gift
source: dailyboulder.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)