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headlines found matching 'head'
Tue December 07, 2021
(CTV News)
 
 
 
I'll see your $1000 bonus for being vaccinated and raise it to $10000
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Police screw up traffic notice prohibiting right turns at specific intersection, give back over 10 grand in fines they collected. Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane shakes his head in disbelief
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 06, 2021
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
An analysis for all the 44 college bowl games. Come for the playoff game discussions, stay for the Cricket Celebration Bowl
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Science Guy)
 
 
 
DARPA funded researchers accidentally create a warp bubble for the first time reports department head Zefram Cochrane
source: thedebrief.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Thank you for your service to Tyson Foods. Here's your $50 million bonus"
source: fox46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
After watching film of Grizzlies mauling, Thunder head coach went all Werner Herzog and refused to show any of it to his players. "Letting it breathe I think is almost more powerful than to dwell on the actual visuals of it"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
New York City mandates two doses of COVID-19 vaccine for private-sector employees ages 5-11, or something like that. Headline needs more commas
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
Ben Carson raises his head off the pillow to say vaccine proponents have made this too political, and we should be pushing hydroxychloroquine and Ivermectin instead of vaccines
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 05, 2021
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Encanto is #1 on a soft Omicron weekend with $13 million while Ghostbusters: Afterlife scares up $9.5 million worth of nostalgia. House of Gucci holds at #3 with $7.4 million while Clifford the Big Red Dog is #6 with $1.75 million, ahead of Dune
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
So what the hell is a sugarplum anyway, and why is it supposed to be dancing in our heads?
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
On today's edition of Mad Lib or real headline: "I Visited An Abandoned Nazi Vacation Spot After My $600 Minivan Stranded Me In Sweden"
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"I balanced a Mini on my head." With helpful photo of a man with a Mini on his head
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 04, 2021
(Guardian)
 
 
 
We interrupt your normally scheduled programming for a message from Reality: We have squandered our best chance of getting ahead of Covid. This new strain could put us back to square one because so many refuse to be vaxxed, says leading disease scientist
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Does Betteridge's Law of Headlines apply to MH370? Maybe
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 03, 2021
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Dallas Cowboys' Mike McCarthy calls win accomplished without Dallas Cowboys' Mike McCarthy a 'great experience' for team
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"I now pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Aristocrats"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Either Herschel Walker drank the GQP Kool-Aid or he suffered some head trauma
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRIC Richmond)
 
 
 
"After claiming Democrats were 'cheating' ahead of Nov. 2 elections, state Sen. Amanda Chase has yet to share proof"
source: wric.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Life long bedhead, can you imagine?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Are vaccinated people dying at a faster rate than vaccinated people? Does this headline end with a question mark?
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(McSweeney's)
 
 
 
Have you tried turning your vote off and turning it back on again?
source: mcsweeneys.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 02, 2021
(Eye on Design)
 
 
 
An oral history of Beastie Boys' artwork. Go ahead and check-ch-check-check-check ch-check it out
source: eyeondesign.aiga.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Is Edge too edgy?
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
100% vaccinated Dallas Cowboys to lose 9 coaches and players tonight due to Covid, including head coach Mike McCarthy
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
Thousands of diapers stolen from California charity. Police on the lookout for panty-headed gang
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 01, 2021
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It's an iHeadache if you're all iThumbs
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: What do mashed potatoes, Headline of the Year, and the Swear Jar have in common?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Headline coming out. Also what is this article even
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
FDA approves VR headsets to treat lazy-eye. Subby once dated a girl with lazy-eye, but it turned out she was seeing someone else the whole time
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 30, 2021
(Frederick News Post)
 
 
 
Today's MadLibs headline: "74-year-old cancer survivor who runs pot-bellied pig sanctuary sets Maryland powerlifting record"
source: fredericknewspost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Sports)
 
 
 
Premier League Double header Tuesday. Can Newcastle get their first win or will Norwich continue their 3 game unbeaten streak? 2:30 pm ET on Peacock. At 3:15 pm Leeds want their 2nd win, while Crystal Palace can go top half of the table. On NBCSN
source: scores.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
Protip: It is considered unsportsmanlike to punch an opposing player during the post-game handshake
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Fire crew rescues puppy from beneath floor boards in Iowa (w/ unsolicited deck pic)
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
If you left a horse head and a decapitated alligator body in a local canal, Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley plans to file a lawsuit for copyright infringement
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
There's keeping your eye on the ball, then there's taking it too far (not safe for lunch)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Another friendly tourist charged with wanting to do something I shouldn't mention in this headline, just in case
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
December is almost here - How the hell did that happen??? Time to start planning ahead for spring. Let's all commiserate in your Fark Gardening thread for Tuesday November 30, 2021
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Somebody mashed up "Mad Max: Fury Road" with Motörhead's "Ace of Spades" and the result is...*chef's kiss*
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 29, 2021
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
During an exciting UK Championship match, snooker player Mark Williams A) scores a maximum 147 B) flukes in the final shot Z)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Tiny horse. Huge head
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sportsnet)
 
 
 
Si vous pouvez lire ceci et savoir ce qu'est une rondelle de hockey, contactez des Canadiens de Montréal
source: sportsnet.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Of the notable criminal trials starting this week, Jussie Smollett makes CNN headlines: "This Is How We Got Here"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Vermont elementary school kids practice for the day they are old enough to submit FARK headlines
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Alabama inmate who survived an execution attempt when authorities couldn't find a single useable vein to inject the lethal drugs into, has died 4 years later of natural causes. If you can call dying of cancer "natural'
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
'Warp speed ahead' could be more possible than ever
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Probably got trapped in the headlight section
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 28, 2021
(NPR)
 
 
 
Today's Fark headline challenge: Is it fair to deny lung transplants to COVID-19 victims who refuse to be vaccinated?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
*taps forehead*
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Sports)
 
 
 
Sunday PL at 9:00 AM ET Leicester host Watford, Man City v West Ham, Burnley v Spurs, and Everton heads south to Brentford. MoTD at 11:30 AM Chelsea and Man. United. Could be ugly for MU, could be a trap for Chelsea. All games on Peacock+
source: scores.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 27, 2021
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Who knew you could get kidneys at a barbecue joint?
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: One small smell for a man, one giant stink for mankind: Why farts in space can be deadly (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Headline: "More Than $3,000 Worth Of iPhones Stolen From Store In Pennsylvania." Fark: They stole four phones
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 26, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man who headed the DC sniper investigation goes out in a fashion I expect many of us would like to go out
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Audio
 
The Rolling Stone top 1000 songs list sucks. Here is a REAL top 1000 song list that makes sense
source: 1000bestsongs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 25, 2021
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
And to think the best subby got out of his was whomping the squat out of his little brother with a section
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Turkeyologist details the proper way to cook a turkey, but if you're reading this now it's too late
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
What is the world coming to when you can't even be a randy punter having sex in a beer garden? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin State Journal)
 
 
 
Chasing deputies with pitchforks is no way to go through life, Craig
source: madison.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 24, 2021
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
THIS tenderloin is SO TASTELESS it could be FARK HEADLINE
source: edition.thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Head cook at a Vermont school has been fired for being a Dumbass. That's why we have this tag
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Record high gas prices causing headaches for the six or seven people in California who actually use heavy-duty trucks for work. It's hitting the coal rolling idiots who drive them as big shiny penis substitutes as well, but f*** them
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
13-year-old makes earrings to protest Jake Gyllenhaal's refusal to return Taylor Swift's scarf
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sad and Useless)
 
 
 
Exhibit #278378 for the case of cat people weirdness - 'The Licki-Brush'
source: sadanduseless.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LGBTQ Nation)
 
 
 
Why do all these straight men keep sucking my AAAAAAAGGHHHH
source: lgbtqnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Japan Pro-Wrestling)
 
 
 
Can BUSHI move ahead of fellow Ingobernable Hiromu? Will Taiji Ishimori or El Phantasmo receive the "Fingerpoke of Doom"? Does YOH strike out again? BEST OF THE SUPER Jr. 28 starts @ 4:30 AM ET on NJPWWorld.com, the King of Sports
source: njpw1972.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 23, 2021
(NYPost)
 
 
 
So it wasn't death by alligator after all
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Decades from now, your grandchildren will ask where you were on the day that Kyle Kuzma wore his pink sweater into Capital One Arena
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads... fish lips in aspic, eat them up YUM. Or the one where Sohla makes fish lip jello from scratch
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 22, 2021
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Oliver Stone's new "documentary," revisiting his theories on the JFK assassination will make anyone watching it beg to be shot in the head
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Twas a dark day in Dallas, Nov 63. A day that will live on in infamy. Good day to be livin' and a good day to die. Being led to the slaughter like a sacrificial lamb. They blew off his head while he was still in the car. It's the 7pm ET MSNBC thread
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Headlie: "Lin-Manuel Miranda fires back at cancel culture." Article: not that
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXGA)
 
 
 
Actual Headline: Georgia struggles with labor shortage despite low unemployment
source: wgxa.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
You wimpy Jarheads, you needle dick maggots, I've seen jellyfish with more backbone than you. Get in there and get shot. NOW, you bunch of cowardly weak little petunias
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 21, 2021
(MSN)
 
 
 
Matthew McConaughey tops Gov. Greg Abbott by 8 in head-to-head matchup, beats Beto nearly 2-to-1. Well alright, alright, alright
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight it's time for WWE's annual brand battle: Survivor Series. Will WWE Champion Big E unseat Universal Champ Roman Reigns? Will Becky or Charlotte stand tall? Who will win the tradition 5 on 5 tag matches? Find out starting at 8 PM ET on Peacock
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
NFL Week 11 sees the Packers head into Minnesota, the Bengals roll the dice against the Raiders, new vs old as the Texans visit the Titans, Dallas goes after the Chiefs, and the Cardinals take on the Seahawks in the battle of the birds. Kickoff at 1 PM ET
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Soon to be a FauxNews headline: Kamala Harris and husband damage government property
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Missouri coach Eli Drinkwitz channels his inner geek after beating Florida
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Either use a disposable cup or bring your own reusable one when you get coffee? How about renting one and returning it when you are done?
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eat This Not That)
 
 
 
We roasted 5 turkeys, and you already finished this headline with Dean Martin zinging Phyllis Diller
source: eatthis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 20, 2021
(Library of Congress)
 
 
 
So far we do know that it is NOT any of the following: Alannah Myles, Book of Love, David Johansen, Dogs d'Amore, Dweezil Zappa, Dwight Twilly Band, Eve Moon, Face to Face, Faster Pussycat, Frances McDormand... Or T-Rex. Do you know who they are?
source: blogs.loc.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
On Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) - Connie has to get the band instruments ready to honor the mayor, Liz plots to keep the leading lady from showing up to the school play & Clark is trapped in an underground room while the Atom Man heads to Metropolis
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 19, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
Police fired warning shots over their heads, but some were taller than anticipated
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
New South Park "exclusive event" shows us what would have happened if the kids had aged in real time
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Admit it - you tried to find a melody for this headline too
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 18, 2021
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Dear Deidre, I'm tormented, riddled with guilt and disgust and starting to hate myself because I keep plugging my man unit into household appliances. Is there something wrong with me? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
If you're looking for a place to host Thanksgiving this year, the best bang for your buck right now may just be Turkey
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
♫ When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way. From your first cigarette, to your being accused of violently beating your ex-girlfriend in front of your 5-month-old son ... Wait, what?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 17, 2021
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Naked man threatens to kill everybody in store. Yes, alcohol was involved. How are we to know he wasn't justified though? Maybe they had it coming
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Pizza shop worker attacked with ladle, cash register stolen, robbers make off with dough
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
Instagram will now let you take a 3-D "video selfie" for identification and spam-prevention purposes. But remember, Meta has turned off its facial recognition feature. Wink wink
source: gadgets.ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRG Mobile)
 
 
 
"Humping"
source: wkrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 16, 2021
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Starz makes a smooth decision and announces a new season of Party Down with Rob Thomas
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The rare exception to the question headline rule: The answer here is "Not a farking thing"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Scorpions Sting 500, Talking Heads Rush for The Cure
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN headline: "Late Night heckles Biden Infrastructure Win". Actual video: funny jabs and roaring applause from the audience
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Lincoln Project, or Fark headline: Same difference?
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Helmets recalled due to risk of head injury. You had one job
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 15, 2021
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
He put his right hand in, he put his right hand out he sips water and patted his head all about, he'll defend Steve Bannon and try to turn himself around, that fark is gonna find out
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Paleolithic cave paintings. New hotness: Paleolithic animated cave movies
source: andrewducker.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
If you call the cops when you hear two gunshots and a thud in the apartment overhead you won't have to call the superintendent about maggots falling out of your ceiling a week later
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Mah Freedumbs meets The Aristocrats
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Oh no, the defense recovered a fumble and is heading to the end zone. Anyway
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Back by lack of vigorous disapproval, it's the Fark Monday Food Discussion Thread: Beef ravioli? Fettuccini Alfredo? Penne with vodak sauce? Or a good rustic spaghetti? What's your favorite pasta dish? Recipes and/or pics always welcome
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLB Trade Rumors)
 
 
 
Marlins get Head from Rays; ocean life is kinky
source: mlbtraderumors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Welcome to this year's Rockville festival. Now with added water sports
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
The headline is not inaccurate
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 14, 2021
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
**DING** You are now free to go to jail after punching a Southwest Airlines operations agent in the face and sending her to the hospital
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Is the US heading towards a new Civil War? Short answer: No. Long answer: More like years of sporadic violent skirmishes as the Unites States slowly and painfully dissolves
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Final Destination: One for the Road
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Rudolph the Dent-Head Reindeer to get start vs. Lions as COVID-19 knocks out sex offender
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Dear Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, and Catholic friends, it's been nice knowing you. Alternate Headline: JaQass doesn't know what freedom of religion actually means
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 13, 2021
(WBUR Boston)
 
 
 
The unlikely tag just doesn't seem big enough to cover the first three words of the article's headline
source: wbur.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 12, 2021
(Politico (Europe))
 
 
 
Flashback .... No, flashfoward. British troops headed to Poland
source: politico.eu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Received a traumatic brain Injury when Iranian rockets levelled your airbase in a retaliatory strike? Sorry soldier, but Trump told the world you had a "headache" that "wasn't that serious", and we can't make him look bad, so, no Purple Heart for you
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(E! Online)
 
 
 
Dick arrested for being one
source: eonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Leave it to a British tabloid to come up with a headline more biased than we do on a certain news aggregator
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 11, 2021
(NBC Sports)
 
 
 
Only the force can stop the criticism coming at Rodgers
source: nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Usually when people say "I'll take any job" they don't really mean it, Coach Mora
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Subaru introduces the Solterra SUV with a revolutionary feature: no head gaskets to replace, ever
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Coinbase's CEO says NFTs could be 'As big or bigger' than crypto trading, which should really allay any doubts as to where this is heading
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 10, 2021
(Montreal Gazette)
 
 
 
The hockey stick that beats Canadians over the head: a graph of house prices versus diposable household income
source: montrealgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Mass Effect LE DLC Pinnacle Station that nobody wants now available for PC mod, mercifully sparing the console peasants
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"Wait, Sir. The radar, Sir. It appears to be..." "Jammed... There's only one head coach who would dare give me the raspberry"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
What do you mean it's not a Siberian husky puppy?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Eiweiweiweiweiw wuh wuh
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 09, 2021
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Mexico anti-money laundering chief resigns for - you guessed it - a lack of love for Frank Stallone. Just kidding - $35K in cash was found on a private plane headed to his wedding
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The Tuesday Night Science Channel Discussion Thread, 9PM Eastern
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
This was the gentle, genial frustration of an uncle who can't get something through a nephew's head. We seemed so smart. Why didn't we believe in the MSNBC thread at 7pm ET?
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
With the world as explored, surveyed and mapped as it is, it's rare enough to discover a new species these days, much less a new species of WHALE
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Statistics from Texas confirm that rugged individualist bootstrappy unvaccinated Texans are 45 times more likely to get COVID, and 40 times more likely to die from it, versus their insane, pants-on-head crazy libby lib vaccinated neighbors
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
POTUS 2024: Howard Stern v Donald Trump. We're not only through the looking glass but we're also in the upside down
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Lego prepares its troops for a ground assault
source: brickset.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Paying a small price for a carved bird, then finding out it once belonged to Anne Boleyn is a great way to get a head
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
No, the head of Pfizer wasn't arrested by the FBI. And you probably shouldn't believe everything a beaver tells you
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
How many times do we have to explain about headlines that end with a question mark?
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Live Nation's convenience fees evidently aren't high enough to cover the ultimate convenience of surviving the show
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 08, 2021
(Politico)
 
 
 
The exact moment when the NRA decided to abandon any pretense of being a rational or bipartisan organization, and dive headfirst in to the deep end of the GOP looney bin. Hint: it was the morning after 26 kids were massacred with an AR-15
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Foo Fighters become Ghost Fighters in new movie
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCCI Des Moines)
 
 
 
Apparently Beavis and Butthead had an apartment in Des Moines, Iowa until this morning
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
:-O...:-| *walks out of headline*
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Can Facebook be fixed? Sure, some people think it can be, but the rest of us know the answer to any headline involving a question mark
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Light bulbs turn on above every studio executive's head on news that Hollywood can just release alternate versions of movies for people who live in alternate realities
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 07, 2021
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Woman arrested after randomly attacking people with a) gun, b) knife, c) frying pan
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Click-bait headline done right
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 06, 2021
(Whiskey Riff)
 
 
 
Evicted Texan leaves rental filled to the ceiling with thousands of Bud Light bottles. Tag is for their taste in beer
source: whiskeyriff.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food and Wine)
 
 
 
Can't argue with the headline. Please pass the biscuits
source: foodandwine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Not news: NYPD chases down vehicle seen illegally parking in Brooklyn. Fark: after being detained in New Jersey, the pilot of the helicopter claimed he wasn't aware that landing in the middle of Brooklyn was a problem
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 05, 2021
(YouGov)
 
 
 
Poll: One in five Americans say they're willing to eat insects. There's a lot more info to consume in the article but Subby is too busy picking his teeth with a grasshopper leg to put it in the headline
source: today.yougov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big Think)
 
 
 
Astronomers all put their heads together, made a plan, and everyone got something good by working together. There's got to be a lesson here somewhere
source: bigthink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Russian diplomat found dead outside Berlin embassy; initial medical examiner results show falling from great height, through bullets that just happened to be there, onto irradiated umbrella. So clearly suicide
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Iceberg, Right Ahead
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Masshole student knocks out principal and classes for two days
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida Man has a silhouette of the Sunshine State tattooed on his forehead. We know this because he was arrested for felony mother throttling
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Federal Judge: "You can't claim executive privilege if you aren't the executive." Later seen tapping the side of his head and nodding knowingly
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Man Allegedly Killed Father-in-Law With Leaf Blower During Argument About Pig. Word jumble or actual headline? You decide
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 04, 2021
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Akron axes Arth
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Mr. Potato Head has really let himself go
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Headline: Chrissy Teigen has theory about Pete Davidson & Kim K. Article: "Everybody's asking me. I have no idea"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Seeing as how "Let's go Brandon" is actually one of the least offensive things the Right has come up with recently, and that it just makes them so gosh-darn happy, how about we just give them a collective pat on the head and let them keep it?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cosmos Magazine)
 
 
 
Headline:"Rare non-returning boomerangs analysed for new clues". Isn't a 'non-returning boomerang' just a stick?
source: cosmosmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big Think)
 
 
 
Quizzical dog would like to know why he tilts his head
source: bigthink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 03, 2021
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Final Destination
source: edmonton.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Franz Ferdinand get candid about new music, new members, their greatest hits, and their ongoing feud with Gavrilo Princip
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
♫ I was someone in the air that night, as I took flight, Fernando ♫ As I tumbled from the balcony, my limbs hung free, Fernando ♫ Though I never thought I'd come loose, I struck your head ♫ If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando ♫
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Turns out the flight attendant from the American Airlines flight that diverted the other day charged the fist of the alleged attacker
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 02, 2021
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Joe Judge: it's the headset's fault we're bad at clock management
source: giantswire.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cosmopolitan)
 
 
 
I don't know what a Justin Bieber is but this woman has a hard time being married to it
source: cosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Zookeepers try to figure out what killed the giraffes but it's a tall order, it may be over their heads. Everyone looked up to those giraffes
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
Trick of Treaters encounter man in very authentic coke dealer costume. One child was quoted as saying "I got a Glock"
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 01, 2021
(Fark)
 
 
 
Less of a headache than your post-Halloween hangover, it's your Fark Monday Movie and TV Rewind. Does it matter that we don't actually rewind anything anymore? No, it does not
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Bulwark)
 
 
 
Facebook allowing fake news sites to push fake news heading into Virginia elections. Algorithmically speaking
source: thebulwark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sikh of Crashing)
 
 
 
Sikh invention - a tough turban that serves as a crash helmet
source: yankodesign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Sorry GOP, Illinois Republican and anti-Trumper Rep. Adam Kinzinger will not go quietly into the night
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
MTG goes to bat for "non-violent" insurrectionist who said he was only wearing body armor and paramilitary gear that day as a "costume for his documentary". Spoiler alert: he's captured on video bragging about punching a cop in the head
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
In an internal memo to staff from the head of Barclays, CEO Staley said: "The reasons for my decision (to resign with full pay and bonuses) are simple. I was friends with Jeffrey Epstein before he didn't kill himsel"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Why do dogs tilt their heads? Study: [confuseddog.gif]
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Kansas State racks up a 2-0 record in back-to-back wins against head coaches that used to have jobs this season
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 31, 2021
(Saturday Down South)
 
 
 
Florida Gators embarrass themselves at Georgia game, and we're not talking about their play
source: saturdaydownsouth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Gen Z apparently has good taste in headphones
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 30, 2021
(AP News)
 
 
 
G20 to global corporations: You guys are gonna get taxed no matter where you headquarter
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Cypress Hill release new pro-drug song though it's lacking an orchestra
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This gadget claims to be a "metronome light" that puts you to sleep. Does that mean it's just a hypnosis scam? Could you use it to plant hypnotic commands? Could it animate a devil doll?
source: getdodow.io   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Father these are not the chicken wings I like .... goodbye Father
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food 52)
 
 
 
NONE of this headline is wrong
source: food52.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 29, 2021
(ESPN)
 
 
 
We now head to Atlanta for Game 3 of the World Series. Can the Braves win and go up 2-1 in the series? Or will Houston send the balls into orbit and win on the road? Luis Garcia and Ian Anderson are the pitchers and it starts at 8:09 PM ET on FOX
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Headline: Double vaccinated can still spread virus at home. Article: The risk drops by more than a third if your housemates are also vaccinated. Hopefully this will encourage the anti....oh, who am I kidding
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
Weeners
 
World's first unisex condom is tough to wrap your head around
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Get Surrey)
 
 
 
River Thames plastic cleanup operation yields 819 drinks bottles (3 with dead voles inside), 533 crisp packets, a large paddling pool, a toilet brush, R2-D2, and a fake crocodile head
source: getsurrey.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Not news: Tucson has water issues. News: Due to lack of employees in their water department. Fark: Because of the vaccine mandate
source: kold.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 28, 2021
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
I guessed that by pretending to be the leader I could make a few things go my way, at least for a little while, until they figured out I was faking the headlines for the MSNBC thread at 7pm ET
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman finds chicken head in her bucket of wings. Col. Sanders wanted for questioning
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Creepy nursery rhyme wakes people in the middle of night. Spoiler: it was spiders
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Alt headlines: "When you gotta go, you gotta go", A real crappy way to die", "His whole life now in the sh*tter", "Port-a-Body"
source: audacy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
DUDE- that kicks ass, sort of
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
In a clear sign of an impending shiatshow, Jeffrey Clark, Trump's "inside man" at the DOJ during the attempted coup, has parted ways with his lawyer just ahead of Clark's scheduled testimony before the 1/6 committee
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 27, 2021
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Critical poutine shortage ahead for Canada
source: ottawa.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Go to your room Braiden
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
I'm not saying that the longtime head of spine surgery at Boston Medical Center may be secretly drinking in his car, but if it turns out there are a lot of hunchbacks in the area, I would avoid this doctor
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Complex)
 
 
 
Kind of like the greasy pepperoni in their overrated pizza, Bing Bong Guy is at the center of New York's overreaction to the Knicks being not horrible
source: complex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Didn't we see this like 2-3 years ago?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ultimate Classic Rock)
 
 
 
John Hinckley - yes, *that* John Hinckley- allowed Devo to use part of one of his songs in 1982, and now wants a cut of the profits. Tag is the summary of Devo's response
source: ultimateclassicrock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
I'm not a grammar Nazi, but this was one of those times a comma or two in the headline would have been really handy
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You had me at "Food Coma Lunch"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Welcome to the 31st annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade, where you'll see everything from a Pinhead pup to a Snoop Dogg dog and more. This is your It's Almost Halloween edition of Woofday Wetnose Wednesday (w/lots of photos)
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Being the fourth most penalized team in the NFL gets you mentioned in an article. Being the Browns gets you the headline
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 26, 2021
(CBC)
 
 
 
Not news: City repairs damaged curb. News: City repairs curb 16 years ahead of schedule. Fark: Curb was damaged 28 years ago
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IMDB)
 
 
 
Fun Characters Return double-header night on The CW. 1ˢᵗ up, Jakeem and presumably Thunderbolt are back on the penultimate ep. of S2 of Stargirl at 8 ㏘ EDT. Then Best Lex Luthor says "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" S6 E17 of Supergirl at 9
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
If there was a real meritocracy, Korean toddlers would rule over us. Like, how do you explain getting ahead by your own merit, when Korean kids do this, but we play Nickelback on repeat on all out media
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chris Cillizza: Nobody called out Terry McCauliffe for making an accurate statement
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCCI Des Moines)
 
 
 
Iowa City headed for a disaster of biblical proportions as a "bar offering no alcohol opens"
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
USA Today hires dancing banana for headline writing
source: amp.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"We don't negotiate with terrorists," is a cool thing to say if you are the President. Not a cool thing to say if you are a math teacher and a Muslim student asks you a math question
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
You stay classy, Dallas fans
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
In Ontario: 60km/h = doing the limit. 80 km/h = speeding. 100 km/h = "Slow down hosehead". Over 100 km/h? = STUNT DRIVING
source: northernontario.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Since it's close to Halloween here's a real life "You left the bodies and you only moved the headstones! You only moved the headstones" story
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 25, 2021
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Answer to headline question: California politicians listened to the scientists, and followed proven protocols for dealing with an infectious pandemic, and did not weaponize idiocy for political gain
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
How is Covid in AZ? Well, you could look at its deaths per capita, which is now the same as New York's even though NY was hit early by the disease before treatments or vaccine existed Or you could ask the head of AZ's Public Health Assn: "it's bad"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Headline: Flesh-eating STD, Lede: Flesh-eating STD, 3rd paragraph "does not actually eat the flesh"
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Turrible)
 
 
 
One thing you don't wanna do is drink beer with Larry Bird
source: thesportsrush.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 24, 2021
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sweden warns Afghanistan is heading toward collapse faster than expected, confusing everyone else who thought it had already gotten there
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
The largest, tallest single-track roller coaster is heading to California, a place where there are never any earthquakes or other natural disasters
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
With his new social media platform Trump moves to trademark every permeation of the word "truth," name his headquarters the Ministry of Truth, or Minitrue for short
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 23, 2021
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
The Oculus Go headset has been unsupported since late last year, but in a surprise move, they will unlock all the headsets so they can be used by the community. Why did Facebook do something this cool? Two Words: John Carmack
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
On Paul's Memory Bank tonight (8PM EDT) Mr Conklin wins a TV in a phone contest, George forgets Liz' birthday and satisfied that he's killed Superman, The Atom Man buries him and heads back to Metropolis to destroy everything there
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CompuServe)
 
 
 
Headlines like this is probably why Fark has the Obvious tag
source: compuserve.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
Leave it to Vanity Fair to craft a clear, concise, and accurate headline
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 22, 2021
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplanation: No, people aren't really suffering from "smartphone pinkie"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
News: Biden reduced Trump's record deficit by $360B. Headline: Well, go ahead and guess
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Subby would have written a good headline for this article on 'Striketober' but is instead currently picketing the submission queue, demanding a brighter shade of green
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dune Is a Ponderous Striptease With a Very Impressive Sandworm." I have no idea what the review actually says; still trying to process this headline
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
The head of the Miami PD is an abusive, vindictive, violent man who is protected by a union and avoids all discipline through threats and intimidation
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Maga head injuries prove fatal
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 21, 2021
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Headline of our time, of the year: Crypto exchange FTX raises $420mil from 69 investors, in meme funding round
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
"Squid Game" alarm clock will start your day with a dart to the head
source: wjrr.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
PA man decides to pull a Headless Horseman over parking spot
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Headline: Petrol station stocks back to normal. "Normal": storage tanks in Great Britain were 45% full ... the highest since May
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
It's time to head for the desert as WWE presents Crown Jewel. Will Roman retain vs Brock? Does BECKS, Sasha or Bianca leave as Smackdown Women's Champion? Who wins KOTR & Queen's Crown? This and a whole lot more starting at Noon ET on Peacock
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 20, 2021
(Crosscut)
 
 
 
The headline went with Urine Trouble, but Peeget Sound was right there, man
source: crosscut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12. Jesus, does anyone?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Merriam-Webster)
 
 
 
The Merriam-Webster word of the day for October 20 is 'batten' as in: "In terms of funny puns, these word of the day headlines are only batten around .250"
source: merriam-webster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Whale shark: "The nose was cold and wet when I was booped, but the kiss was adorable. 13/10 - would let boop again
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Pete Rose was just ahead of his time
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smithsonian)
 
 
 
Newborn ugly-ass golden-headed lion tamarin twins cling to their ugly-ass golden-headed lion tamarin mother (w/ pics)
source: nationalzoo.si.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
These dog thieves don't look that exotic to me
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 19, 2021
(Politico)
 
 
 
"'Brown recovery' wipes out hopes that pandemic stimulus would drive climate spending" - really could've used 'Enterprise' in headline, butt a solid 4 out of 5 - wonder what his fark handle is
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Giant puppet of Syrian refugee completes 5,000km journey to England, will shoot you in the head if she spots you moving
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on NXT: Ahead of their title match next week, Ciampa & Bron take on GYV, a triple threat match to see who spins "the wheel" for next week's tag title tussle & Andre Chase tries to school Odyssey Jones. This & more starting at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"There was a time when being on "Survivor" meant being sent to a remote island to test physical and mental resilience. Nowadays, as one former contestant found out, walking to pilates class in Santa Monica is more treacherous"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The best argument for why it is better to go to Hell than to Heaven you'll see all year (Alternate headline: Gee, I bet this guy is a blast at parties)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Seattle Police recover thousands of dollars worth of stolen LEGO sets and arrest the blockhead who stole them
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Feel free to try and get that image out of your head. (shudder)
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Prime Minister of Poland, a country that joined the EU in 2004, says having to follow EU law is "blackmail", before slamming the screen door shut on his submarine
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
New Hampshire woman missing in Vermont, or is it a Vermont woman missing in New Hampshire, I can never keep those two straight
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vintage Everyday)
 
 
 
Hey, dummies - it's almost Halloween. Here are snapshots of ventriloquist heads to fuel some nightmares
source: vintag.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Was "Family Circus" decades ahead of Big Data? Ida Know
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Dark Side of the Moon discovered on Mars
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The barnacle-encrusted headcheese thought Jeffrey Epstein was a spy
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Colorado's 5th Judicial Circuit needs a new head judge because the current one is going to be unavailable for a spell owing to the FELONY CHARGES he's currently facing
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 18, 2021
(Endpoints News)
 
 
 
Hearing about the FDA approving a nasal spray of a smoking cessation drug to treat dry eye disease covers pretty much all the holes in your head
source: endpts.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside World Soccer)
 
 
 
Justice for Jamal Khashoggi poster seen outside stadium ahead of Newcastle vs Tottenham. Can't really make this headline funny
source: insideworldsoccer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Human Rights Campaign)
 
 
 
Human Rights Campaign Condemns Texas. Wait, there were words after that? Seemed like a complete enough headline to me already
source: hrc.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Analyst: Disney+ will surpass Netflix's subscriber count in four years. Headline next year: HBO Max will surpass Disney+ subscriber count in four years
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 17, 2021
(PopCulture)
 
 
 
Hollywood is out of ideas, part eleventy zillion: 1980s sitcom "Head of the Class" returning in reboot form for some reason
source: popculture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 16, 2021
(UFC)
 
 
 
Saturday Night MMA Doubleheader: UFC Vegas 40, Aspen Ladd vs Norma Dumont. Prelims at 4:30 PM ET, main card at 7 PM ET, both on ESPN+. Then Bellator 268, Vadim Nemkov vs Julius Anglicas. Prelims stream at 7 PM ET, main card at 10 PM ET on Showtime
source: ufc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Donald Trump supporters baffled and divided over his claim that Republicans won't vote in 2022 or 2024. Headline should have stopped after the first 4 words
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Flashback: Break out your bell bottoms, we're heading back to the '70s for some music
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Waffle House waitress pulls gun on man after he asked for cheese on his eggs. Waffle House: "We have received a customer complaint and have launched an investigation"
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 15, 2021
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
Headline: Pumpkin Shortage in U.S.. Article: There's plenty of freaking pumpkins
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
It's a super sized Figure Four Friday: first on Smackdown, Brock takes charge ahead of Crown Jewel. Then on Rampage: what's a "Buy In?" What is YouTube? Why are Danielson & Minoru Suzuki on it? DIT It all starts at 8 PM ET on FS1, then 10 PM on TNT
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
'Above, where seated in his tower, I saw Conquest depicted in his power. There was a sharpened sword above his head, That hung there by the thinnest simple thread.'
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
America's Got Talent Extreme lives up to its name. Stuntman injured so badly they thought he was dead
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Since the UK has banned guns and makes knives hard to get, criminals are now using bottles as weapons. Hand over your money or I'll bop you with this Coke bottle
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Schumer, McConnell headed for another collision over voting rights. One favors democracy, the other wants to keep power. Deep down, they knew favoring democracy was right. Can these two run the government without driving each other crazy?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 14, 2021
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
George Takei unleashes the photon torpedoes on William Shatner. There were no survivors
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
He saw my head turn, and looked me in the eye-very amused. "The Powers That Be must be pissing their pants," he said, "or whatever they wear in an MSNBC thread at 7pm Eastern"
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Tide Pod eating is out of the Gen Z TikTokking going-viral agenda. "Scalp popping" is in
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Alex Murdaugh arrested for stealing the insurance money meant for the sons of a housekeeper who died after tripping over the family dog. This guy's like Josey Wales, leaves dead people wherever he goes
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
Newsmax's latest defense of Jon Gruden: Over in Europe, the word f****t is actually for a cigarette, and in Los Angeles, big lips have nothing to do with skin color. It's basically a botched injection job. Maybe that should be "lamest"
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Got any of those crappy stone statues in your garden? Might want to double check that they're not actually ancient Egyptian relics worth a quarter million dollars
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Money Pussy? Thunder Gold? Dr. Q?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
36-year-old civil servant denies being mad or a hipster, claims he wears his hair in Ring-Head style because he shaved most of it off for charity
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
There's a fine line between wanting to choke a coworker with a metal wire and actually choking a coworker with a metal wire
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Tonight)
 
 
 
"Saved by the Bell: The Geritol Years" returning for season two. Screech unavailable for comment
source: etonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 13, 2021
(IMDB)
 
 
 
The Waverider was destroyed in the Season Finale., but not before transporting the Legends AND Batwoman 3 days ahead from Sundays to Wednesdays. LoT S7 E1 "The Bullet Blondes" at 8 ㏘ EDT, Batwoman S3 E1 "Mad as a Hatter" at 9, both on The CW
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Stolen hammock retrieved from thief
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NHL)
 
 
 
It's the 1st Wednesday hockey thread of the season & Canada finally gets in on the action. Will Simmonds punch someone's head off during Leafs/Habs? How many Rags/Caps line brawls will there be? Go time @ 7pm ET. WE WISH YOU ALL THE BEST, CAREY PRICE
source: nhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science.org)
 
 
 
Reputed journal trolls its readers with obvious parody article; using a borderline plausible headline with obviously fake NSFW author names. Either that, or this is a major insight to the pandemic; Thank You, Professor Casanova and Doctor Ba*tard
source: science.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Headline: How being an older parent could be beneficial for offspring. Actual article: it's good to be a British roundworm (NOT a euphemism)
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
This isn't acting, this is reincarnation. I would love to write a witty headline here, but Jamie Costa becoming Robin Williams has me shook up
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
*Taps Forehead*
source: bluevirginia.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 12, 2021
(NECN Boston)
 
 
 
Two heads one shell
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCBD Lubbock)
 
 
 
"They put it on the scale and this bag is basically like five, five and a half pounds overweight. Really quickly we are like, oh, we have got to rearrange some stuff. Opens it up and literally, there's our dog coming out of my boot"
source: kcbd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
Look out Denny's waitresses
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
If you have two middle names and one of them is "Bubba," you might be a redneck arraigned on a terroristic threat, recklessly endangering another person, simple assault and disorderly conduct charges involving a 3-year-old child
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Women less likely to get pregnant if they have bad head technique
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Lead)
 
 
 
Urban Meyer close to being charged with "impersonating NFL Coach" if he keeps saying he wants his team to "average 250 yards rushing per game"
source: thebiglead.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Southwest flights are still in a clusterfark, but no one will say why. So this headline is about how pilots are demanding green M&Ms at all FSSs, and the airline is demanding they all wear tutus. Surely, they can meet somewhere in the middle
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
PREPARE YOURSELF FOR KNOWLEDGE: wearing a crash helmet while riding a dirt bike or 4-wheeler reduces head injuries
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BNNBloomberg)
 
 
 
BofA adds new methods for corporate clients to pay their customers. Hookers, blow still on the 'secret' menu, like 'Animal Style' at In-N-Out
source: bnnbloomberg.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PC Gamer)
 
 
 
Old & stale: Marvel Cinematic Universe. New hotness: Fortnite Cinematic Metaverse
source: pcgamer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 11, 2021
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Noted Farker schools a GOP candidate who thinks that people in 1492 thought the Earth was flat like his head
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
It took the Lions 5 games to bring head coach Dan Campbell to tears
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on RAW: It's a Drew Day, yes it is. Big E & Big D meet face to face ahead of Crown Jewel. Sasha & Bianca try to get along as they team up to battle Becky & Charlotte. More King & Queen of the Ring matches. It all starts at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
After profitable Saturday, sportsbooks suffered bloody Sunday thanks to Packers and Bengals. Sharps saw early line of GB -3.5 and took the Bengals. Then cheeseheads and Joe Public saw adjusted line of GB -2.5 and bet their life savings on the Pack
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Headline: "The Most Monstrous Comet Ever Known Is Headed Straight for Us" Article: VERY loosely speaking (with "helpful" picture of scared Earth in sunglasses)
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
"A bird stars in rare feel-good tale about Afghan evacuations" is not the D'awww headline you were expecting on a Monday, but look what landed here
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Jags have lost 20 straight now and have the record streak in sight. They might need a molotov cocktail to fix all their problems
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 10, 2021
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Less people wanted to take jobs handling disease vectors heading into the fall and winter months
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Victoria News)
 
 
 
Star light, star bright, falling star is seen in flight. I wish it may, I wish it might, not hit me in the head tonight
source: vicnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 09, 2021
(Big E Radio)
 
 
 
So the question becomes, is our resident Padre still drunk after celebrating Calgary's meaningless win last night? Whatever, we've got his back. Noise Factor/Saturday Night's Metal Hour is in about an hour at 11pm ET. Air Supply probably headlining
source: bigeradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Gunman goes on rampage in gentrified downtown L.A., shoots 14-year-old before taking hostage in lofts across from Bukowski's favorite bar, where LAPD also serve him many shots
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Senator refuses to take calls from the President, but does talk to Mitch McConnell. Let's skip the headline games; it's Sinema
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 08, 2021
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Elementary school teacher forcibly pulls hijab off 2nd grade student's head in front of the class
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Putin to the head of the Russian space agency: "I've altered your budget, pray I don't alter it any more. And don't fail me again, I've had quite enough." Subby suggests he double his efforts as Vlad is not as forgiving as I am
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer angers King Manchin with GOP-trashing floor speech, frustrated king walks out after having his inner Republican feelings hurt
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 07, 2021
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
This headline is asinine, and deserves the accompanying photo
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Nate Silver's FiveThirtyEight has created a NHL predictions section. When you see the chances they give the Sabres and Coyotes to make the playoffs, you'll understand the tag choice
source: projects.fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Radiohead's Thom Yorke may be a creep. He may be a weirdo. But he's definitely 53 today
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Fireworks incident from the last high school football game cause new rules to be established. Beldar Conehead severely disappointed
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ford developing technology to remove your children and your phone from your car, otherwise this headline is false
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
The REAL insurrection is when 81 million people voted for Biden
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
18-year-old Michigan woman accused of lyeing to her father
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
Best headline of the day
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Headline: Canada's mobile prices 'amongst the highest' in the world. Article: The highest
source: iphoneincanada.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Sir this a GetGo gas station, you can't just pull in here and let go
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 06, 2021
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It's really hard to come up with a snarky headline for something this good
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsTimes)
 
 
 
Man with impossibly spherical head now three-time loser
source: newstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Wrap)
 
 
 
Headline: SNL Season 47 premiere is lowest-rated episode in show's history. Article: "it was not the least-watched of any episode ever"
source: thewrap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
"We have done our research and firmly believe that the Covid vaccine is dangerous 5G-microchip-infused untested hocus-pocus, but could we just go ahead with a simple organ swap?"
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 05, 2021
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on NXT: MSK & GYV face off in an 8 person tag match, Odyssey Jones battles L.A. Knight, Cora Jade makes her NXT debut and Ember & Mandy kick things off this evening. Will we see InDex honeymoon pics? Find out starting at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter