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| Tue April 13, 2021 |
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After being kicked out by his grandmother and threatening to set a woman's house on fire, Florida Man cannot resist the allure of the sirens of the retention pond
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Teen electrocuted during Florida storm was 'outstanding,' which is probably why they tell you to come inside when it rains
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Missed him by THAT much
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This story has it all: a jetski, romance, quarantine, an arrest, three days in jail, and a breakup. All brought to you from the Isle of Man, the Florida of the UK (possible nsfw content on page)
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Sawfish. What? Sawfish. Saw fish? Yes, sawfish. See? HOLY SHIAT SAWFISH. This state, I swear
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Pornhub now has its own line of spray paint in the site's signature orange. If they need a spokesperson who likes young women and the color orange I know a guy in Florida who has a little time on his hands
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| Mon April 05, 2021 |
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Man accused of drinking Four Lokos while giving Botox injections without a license. His lawyer claims he didn't know you needed a license to drink Four Lokos in Florida
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Much like your mother, Georgia Republicans want it both ways
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Look, you may be the pilot, and yes, it IS called "the cockpit" , but that does NOT mean you get to whip it out during a flight, buddy
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| (Some Guy) |
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Florida International hires a Texas assistant to head up their football program. Everybody give a warm welcome to Coach Horny
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| (Some Guy) |
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"She claimed the altercation erupted after her husband showed his friends a nude picture of his late wife." Yup, Florida
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DeSantis orchestrated a pay-to-vaccinate scheme for the rich
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The real question we should be asking about Matt Gaetz: What kind of spectacular moron do you have to be to make an illicit payment for illegal activity on a fully traceable cash app?
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In fairness, he also thought 'goombahs' meant 'jerks' and 'krauts' meant 'poor cooks'
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But of *course* Bitcoin was oozing around somewhere in the scammy, grotesque Gaetz/Greenberg pedo swamp
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| Wed March 10, 2021 |
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Florida may ban drop boxes used for mail-in ballots, because Florida
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Julius Edelman, who is Jewish, pens thoughtful open letter to Meyers Leonard in wake of his anti-Semitic remarks: "I'm down in Miami fairly often. Let's do a Shabbat dinner with some friends I'll show you a fun time"
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Congratulations. 6 out of top 10 metro areas rated most dangerous to pedestrians are in state with most slow moving targets, shuffling along, one could say
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Cop: "Well, that definitely identifies you"
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Ticket to be dismissed for driver who swerved to avoid couch on Florida interstate, no doubt relieving their fears that they'd end up facing the chair
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Florida man says Biden is destroying the country by reversing his beautiful evil
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Biker Week? More like Superspreader Week
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Florida's AG has issues with boundaries, evidence, loss, and anger
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Old and busted: Elephant graveyard. New hotness: Manatee graveyard
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| Tue March 09, 2021 |
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Oregon man arrested for stealing $7,500 worth of Lego. Both sets were recovered successfully
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Florida lowers vaccine eligibility to approximately 80% of its population
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Hey Florida Man you can't have sex with a unicorn .... in a Target store
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Prosecutor says Michigan governor could face criminal charges over COVID deaths. Governors of Texas, Florida, Ohio, others strangely unavailable for comment
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Greene thinks US territory of Guam is a foreign country that doesn't deserve aid. BTW, subby's sister in law & her ex lived there when he was in service & our niece was born there. Margie, it's part of America
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Animation, actors, not-Florida Man, and product renaming are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Feb. 21-27: Spring is Here Edition
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"The crowd outside the Fifth Avenue building where Mr Trump has a penthouse apartment carried signs that read "Arrest Trump", "Indict Trump", and "Florida Man Go Home.""
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| Wed March 03, 2021 |
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Suddenly, couch
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Florida Man blows through barricaded crash scene in BMW, nearly hitting six deputies. When pulled over, exits vehicle dressed in a sock, boxers, undershirt, explaining his rush: "I was going to the Ritz Carlton. I have business to do"
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Last year's short season means some MLB players are now playing in possession of Schrodinger's Option Year, waiting to learn if 60 games is 90 days
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"Who could imagine that an 8-year-old girl would have the most sense of anybody in that whole area?" said Tom Brady, in Florida
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On this day 176 years ago, our favorite meme-able state was founded. Doesn't look a day over 150, though
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At 46, wouldn't she be a sugar mommy and not a sugar baby seeking an arrangement?
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Braves star Freddie Freeman is the father of twins.....born six weeks apart in different years
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| Sat February 27, 2021 |
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Georgia family adds a new wing to their mobile home
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It has feathers, wings, webbed feet, a bill, eats bread, quacks, and floats on water, but we can't prove that it's a duck
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Governo(R) of Florida gives another neighbo(R)hood special access to the coronavirus Vaccine
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Florida Sheriff's Office then flags certain children, including those who have received a D or F on a report card or missed school three or more times in a quarter
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Congressman played "Under Pressure" a day before playing "Ice Ice Baby"
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Florida coyote wants to be an astronaut, but has some trouble with space helmet and has to be helped out of it
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| Fri February 26, 2021 |
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Lantana Florida fines Florida Latina $100,000 for trivial violations, no HOA involved
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Florida, teacher, nudes, former students, and for some reason the last thing mentioned is she's the ex of a reporter at another Florida TV station
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Mr. Morgan, sir, this is an Arby's
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WalletHub.com rates the best states for retirement: weather factored in for just 3% of the score, Florida Man 0%. Fark: Texas still ranked 2nd from the bottom
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More than 95,000 may die because DeSantis has no vaccination strategy
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| Fri February 19, 2021 |
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Fashionable, colorful, memorable, highly recognizable sneakers aren't always a good idea
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Six million COVID-19 vaccine doses have been delayed by winter storms. Good thing we're not in a pandemic or anything
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What's the correct tag when a Florida man goes to a Kentucky hotel?
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No foul play suspected after women's clothes, animal organs found at Tallahassee bike trail because, you know, Florida
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Recalling Rush Limbaugh's failed Viagra smuggling attempt, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis orders flags to fly at half-staff
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After the past year, I'm not saying it's right, but I understand
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In a brilliant legal maneuver, Capitol rioter Suzanne Kaye, 58, filmed herself drinking cinnamon Jack Daniels and citing her "Second Amendment right to shoot the FBI's f*cking ass" if they come to her house
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Steve Scalise, COME ON DOWN, you're the next contestant on "Kiss the Ring at Mar-a-Lago"
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