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headlines found matching 'elf'
Fri June 22, 2018
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
With no right to an attorney, Guatemalan immigrant expected to represent himself in court. He's 8 years old
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Will self-driving cars in Boston be able to chase pedestrians back onto the sidewalk like human drivers do?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The news for Uber keep getting worse relating to that fatal crash of their self-driving car. It appears the human back-up pilot was watching "The Voice" on her cell phone right before the crash...Yes, apparently voluntarily
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
8-month space simulation funded by NASA cancelled after 4 days as the crew "learned all the ways that you can kill yourself on Mars"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Brace yourself: millions of copycat videos are coming
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Putting yourself in someone else's shoes won't help you understand them better. But you'll be more confident in your misunderstanding, plus you'll have their shoes
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The GOP cannot call itself the party of family values anymore
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 21, 2018
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
It's National Selfie Day. Show us what you got
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
How did Jack Black wind up starring in a no-budget elf-human fantasy romance film made by a director who has never found funding or distribution for his movies?
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 20, 2018
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Welcome to another installment of Donald Trump's Selfish Self-aggrandizing Tour and Ego Boost Convention. Todays stop is Duluth, Minnesota. Fare you well, Minnesota Farkers. (Link goes to C-SPAN @ roughly 7:30 ET)
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Hawaii begs tourists to stop taking selfies with the deadly molten lava
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Esquire)
 
 
 
"Cristiano Ronaldo is not an immediately likeable man. There's the preening, the fact that he's set up a museum to himself, and he's also a dreadful lunch host"
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Man who drove forklift through Lit Restaurant Supplies was likely Lit himself
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
My daughter won't do any charity work or volunteer work, finding ways to get out of it or pawn the work off on someone else. Yet her siblings all do their share. Is she selfish? Hell, selfish, it sounds as if she's management material
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
James Scott, first Duke of Monmouth, declared himself king of England on this day in 1685. The fact that you don't know him indicates just how successful he was
source: morepotatoes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
When an Australian man seals himself in a tiny room for 72 straight hours to protest the slaughter of indigenous people, it's art. When I do it to play Skyrim and fap, it's "mental illness"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 19, 2018
(SacBee)
 
 
 
It's not a selfie, it's science, say scientists who posed next to dead great white shark - sparking uproar by folks who said they 'disrespected' it
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
You ever just wake up and say to yourself, "Self, I'd really like to overturn a boat full of homosexuals in the ocean." Well, no, of course you haven't because you're not an asshole bigot like Chuck Pierce
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 18, 2018
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Female sex drive pill thrusting itself yet again into the marketplace, this time deeper and more forcefully
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 17, 2018
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Bored? This video of a Tesla committing self-immolation will give you something to do for 45 seconds
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
22 year old idiot stabs himself to death because he thought his vest was stab-proof
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 16, 2018
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In today's edition of headlines that cannot be improved: "Man in custody after barricading himself in 'homemade' armored truck near Hoover Dam, reportedly with notes for 'Mr. President'"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Congressional candidate sprays himself in the face with pepper spray for campaign ad
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 15, 2018
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Giuliani admits that the only way Trump can stay out of prison is to pardon all his partners in crime. In fact, he plans on committing some murders just so he can pardon himself
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Managers should not let their employees meditate as that results in mindfulness which itself results in unmotivated workers
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 14, 2018
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Weird Al releases a collection of snippets from every cover song he played from his ridiculously self-indulgent vanity tour
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Couple taking a selfie while vacationing in Portugal end up taking the plunge
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In other news, you can eat yourself blind
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 13, 2018
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Steve King (R-epulsive) embarrasses himself and Iowa again on Twitter
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 12, 2018
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Denver FBI agent that shot someone after attempting sick dance moves has turned himself in and will face charges
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Darwin mutters to himself after tourist saves woman who hit the gas instead of brake and left her car dangling from an LA parking garage
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Game of Thrones' season 8 scripts self-destruct immediately after being used by actors, much like George RR Martin's drafts of final book
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump to photographers: Are you taking good pictures to make us look thin and perfect? Kim thinking to self: Did he just call me fat?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
After waiting more than two hours for his pizza that had been sent to the wrong address, man decides to pick it up himself, discovers there's a reason Domino's would prefer their customers use the app, which won't use the N-word, instead of meeting the employees who will
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Good Guy With a Gun, who doesn't exist, shoots imaginary bad guys who no one really needs to worry about, and kills them both with a AK-47, which everyone knows is useless for self-defense, so I'm honestly not sure why we're even talking about this
source: video.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 11, 2018
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Trump and Kim Jong Un get together for a selfie. Trump learns the Germans aren't all fun and games at world summits. Welp, it's only a Monday, but it feels like a FHF. It's your MSNBC thread. It officially starts at 8pm ET, but unofficially starts now
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Somerset Live)
 
 
 
"The defendant sat in the middle of the roundabout still with no clothes on, clearly under the influence of something, and made an obscene gesture saying: 'It's really important that I f*** myself.'"
source: somersetlive.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Trump warns Pence and his aides on the eve of the North Korea summit: "No f**king crazy talk from anyone in this administration." Of course, that doesn't include himself
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 10, 2018
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The EU is determined to get itself cut off from the rest of the Internet
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 08, 2018
(NPR)
 
 
 
Why more and more white Americans are opposing all government welfare programs -- even the ones they themselves may benefit from. Spoiler alert: They're racist
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump, who never served in Vietnam, will pardon Muhammad Ali for not serving in Vietnam. Bonus: Trump ends the interview by saying he can pardon himself
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
In case there was any doubt, Donald J. Trump, President of the United States, outs himself as a Russian Agent and demands that Russia be readmitted to the G-7
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 07, 2018
(Tom's Hardware)
 
 
 
I can haz 5Ghz home computer? Well, the chip used in the demo is a $10,000 server CPU, and the refrigerator attachment used to overclock it so high burns 1000 watts of power all by itself, so it's not looking good
source: tomshardware.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump administration plans to consolidate all welfare programs in a single cabinet department, which he can then gut and starve
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 06, 2018
(MSN)
 
 
 
Ugly ass welfare recipients plan on having copious amounts of unprotected sex in order to produce even more ugly ass welfare recipients
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Another right-wing news pundit says he's sick and tired of these all self-congratulatory Democratic elitists. Wait Chris Matthews said that?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 05, 2018
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Tesla tries using Silicon Valley software discipline to build cars, finds itself in "production hell". Broken conveyer belts dropped a 3/4 ton battery pack and a car body, plus bonus flaming paint sprayers
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Trump pardoning himself would be an "arrogant statement of power" says noted liberal impeachment expert Newt Gingrich
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 04, 2018
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Woman took a dead person's car and belongings, may be dead herself. Which probably means zombies
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Someone gets hit by a train. Do you a) rush to their aid, b) call emergency services or c) stand around and take selfies?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Woody Allen sees himself as "posterboy" of #MeToo movement. That's not how this works
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump's trial balloon of pardoning himself gets immediate backlash from his own side
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
I'm not allowed to stand up for myself? I thought this was RUSSIA
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 03, 2018
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Do we re-set the clock when a woman in parking garage overlooking San Diego's Rock & Roll Marathon holds an airsoft rifle to her mouth while a SDPD officer accidentally shoots himself?
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man from the year 6491. Aliens. Giorgio is beside himself
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
♫ ♬ Lamb on the rocks | Ain't no surprise | If you fall in the sea it can be your demise | Got yourself out but to be saved you must shout | All the time ♫ ♬
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 02, 2018
(Alaska Dispatch News)
 
 
 
Alt-righter who represents himself winds up with perjury charges for lying to grand jury
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Okay, that has to be a new record in the amount of time it took Trump to contradict himself (tag is only for lack of a Fremdschämen tag)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 01, 2018
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
HuffPo doxes racist twitter troll. Racist enraged that they did this. Even though HuffPo pointed out that she'd doxed herself several times over the years
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dear China, we can destroy your stupid artificial islands any time we choose. You best watch yourself. Hugs & Kisses, U.S. Seventh Fleet
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada serves up sass and $16.6B in tariffs: "We will continue to make arguments based on logic and common sense and hope that eventually they will prevail against an administration that doesn't always align itself around those principles"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 31, 2018
(Microsoft)
 
 
 
Snow leopards could be saved from extinction due to A: Stronger preservation efforts? B: Advances in technology? or C: Selfies?
source: news.microsoft.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 30, 2018
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Woman lowers herself into storm drain to save ducklings, presumably from evil clown
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Survey finds most Americans satisfied with (most) air carriers in the US. Don't go patting yourself on the back just yet, United
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
If you woke up this morning and thought to yourself, "Gosh, you know what? It's been a long time since I heard Herman Cain's opinion on anything and I kind of miss it," then hooo baby do I have some good news for you
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 29, 2018
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Sure, it's just another day, but it's also Danny Elfman's 65th birthday
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Gynecologist sues patient for $1 million over one-star Yelp review, which has so far cost the patient $20k defending herself
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
World's tallest all-wood office building been built in Queensland. They are employing state of the art anti fire, termite, and keebler-elf technology
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 26, 2018
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Tick managed to get itself wrapped in spider silk - and then fossilized in amber. Stupid tick
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Fiat Chrysler recalls 4.8 million vehicles for unintentional 'permanent self driving' feature
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 25, 2018
(Fast Company)
 
 
 
Chris Christie blocks request for emails exchanged between himself and Jared Kushner during Christie's time as governor
source: fastcompany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Who will Trump single out as the enemy this time? How will he make it all about himself? Fair winds and following seas my friends, this is YOUR Trump Commencement speech at the US Naval Academy (LGT C-SPAN @ sometime around 10am ET)
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
Transracial woman busted for welfare fraud, adds to her collection of other falsified things
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Car enthusiasts put a real engine in a Barbie Car, the results are glorious ..like Barbie herself
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 24, 2018
(Independent)
 
 
 
Ever told someone you were leaving them, then had to slink back and ask if they wouldn't mind letting you stay in the house for a bit while you got yourself sorted? Britain knows how you feel
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cut)
 
 
 
Harvey Weinstein will turn himself in to NY authorities on Friday
source: thecut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Well you know that old saying: keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and don't speak to your client for weeks at a time while you make an ass out of yourself and him in public
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
You can't use pills to protect yourself from the Sun's UV rays. Apparently, this is something that needs to be pointed out
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 23, 2018
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This story, and its stance on processed meat, is not for everyone. If you've ever referred to yourself as a "foodie," you might not want to click
source: 5280.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Amazon's plan to create 3D scans of people to more accurately predict how clothes will fit different body shapes might not work out because it will upset people if they see their true, lumpy self
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Arrested Development feels like its old self again
source: tv.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 22, 2018
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
It's once again time for the Financial industry to regulate itself. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New York City man who posted a picture on Facebook of himself next to a cop car with a gun captioned "dum ass n---as" doesn't understand why he can't get a job working with kids now
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
For the first time since its introduction in 2006, an F-35 has been used in combat. The real story here is that an F-35 destroyed something other than itself
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press and Guide)
 
 
 
Competitive eater explains his tactics for victory in Epic Burrito Challenge; "get yourself focused. I walk a lot and listen to music. 'Brain Gym' is my secret weapon" Not after you tell a reporter it isn't
source: pressandguide.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 21, 2018
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Homicide victim's body found by mushroom pickers. Friends say he was a fun guy. I'll let myself out
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Steel yourself for your next trip to Walmart if these butt-rip jeans become a thing
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 20, 2018
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
Stabbing yourself with a pen isn't going to help with your flight delay
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump says, I'm determined to do absolutely nothing about mass shooting unless you think tweeting BS is something. My lover, the NRA, won't let me do anything right, so go fark yourself
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 18, 2018
(The State)
 
 
 
South Carolina gubernatorial candidate prides herself on being a "conservative buzzsaw" who fired hundreds of bureaucrats whose only job was winning wrongful termination lawsuits against the state
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
GOP candidate for OK government would like everyone to know that he doesn't support euthanizing the disabled as an alternative to welfare, really, he was hacked
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My best friend and I came out to each other when we were teens; she a lesbian, me as bisexual. I now find myself only attracted to men, not women, so I'm no longer bi. How do I come out as straight without losing my LGBTQ friends?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Easier than making yourself stop clicking Next Turn on a 4X game it's the Friday Fark Gaming Thread. Link goes to a free copy of Galactic Civilizations II Ultimate Edition. What have you been playing? Side note: leave your GOG/Steam usernames please
source: humblebundle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
Must-read for the President's legal team: What to do when your client shoots themselves in the foot. Or in their case, shoots himself in both feet then fires themselves out of a cannon
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Court manager alters records of relative's traffic offense, also appears to have used a selfie for a mug shot
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 17, 2018
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Intel's Mobileye gets self-driving tech deal for 8 million cars. Yep, 8 million new potential Conficker, MyDoom, SPECTRE, Meltdown, etc. infections rolling down the road. Happy motoring
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Nothing says 'plucky' quite like a law student who has failed the bar exam six times but just keeps trying. "It's kind of like torturing yourself"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 16, 2018
(City A.M.)
 
 
 
Hipster investment firm takes out $300 million from tip jar, unveils "The Craftory" to foster and incubate hipster consumer brands who challenge mainstream brands with anti-corporate craft alternatives. The logo sells itself
source: cityam.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
A definition of "asymmetrical warfare": you spend about $50K to send 12 operative to America to attend flight school and hijack airplanes. The country you attacked bankrupts itself by spending $3 trillion in response to your provocation
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
In Jerusalem, we have Team Trump taking on the very fabric of reality itself
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 15, 2018
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Pontiac woman accused of killing boyfriend, tries to escape detection by disguising self as... Damn, a rabid Oompa Loompa?
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Manafort- "Sweet, I can't be held accountable for this crime because the shelf life expired" Mueller- "About that"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 14, 2018
(Sky Sports)
 
 
 
Soccer goalie injures himself throwing ball in playoff game
source: skysports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Look, the President has been perfectly clear. The tweet speaks for itself and I refer you to outside counsel if you want to discuss today's White House briefing. 1:30 EDT
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
And you may ask yourself, "How is David Byrne already 66?" And you may ask yourself, "My God, can we wish him happy birthday?"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 13, 2018
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Major Craddock and The Man in Black meet to discuss their mutual nemesis, Dolores as Bernard [or is it Arnold] finds himself with the Drone Hosts. Will new parks be revealed? Will there be answers, or only more questions? Westworld, 9pm ET on HBO
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
So how smart is a smart car is it's not smart enough to keep from catching itself on fire?
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Labrador mix snaps doggie group selfie (w/ must-see pic)
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 12, 2018
(UFC)
 
 
 
Saturday Night MMA: UFC 224 from Brazil, with Nunes vs Pennington, Jacare vs Gastelum, and Belfort vs Machida. Fight Pass prelims at 6:15 PM ET, Prelims at 8 PM ET on FX, main card PPV at 10 PM ET. Also Bellator 199 at 9 PM ET on Paramount network
source: ufc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 11, 2018
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
And here's Angela Lansbury touching herself in the tub [SFW]
source: aux.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 10, 2018
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Trump is ill-prepared for Kremlin-backed cyber warfare, dressing himself
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Laura Ingraham accuses the media of embarrassing itself
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Man visits porn site, gets following email:"Given Above mentioned software forced selfie camera of yours notebook computer. And this way I have black PR package against you. On that vidoerecord [sic] you flog the dummy"
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 09, 2018
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Happy 69th birthday to the piano man himself, the great Billy Joel
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Fresh off the success of self-driving cars, Uber is promising quadcopter electric air-taxi service by 2023
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 08, 2018
(Engadget)
 
 
 
"Monkey Selfie: the Movie"? At least it's a better idea than The Emoji Movie
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
Dear Presidential Advisers: If you plan to perjure yourself, that does not make an interview a "perjury trap"
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
This is how many eggs you can eat in a week. Cool Hand Luke chuckles to himself
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 07, 2018
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Kanye has himself a consigliere, far right conspiracy theorist and vlogger Candace Owens
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Man wanted for harassing moose. This sounds like a self-correcting problem
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
2012: I swear to God, if I'm still working at this gas station when I'm 24 I'll set myself on fire
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 06, 2018
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Bowing to modern times, England may stop requiring soccer clubs to produce printed matchday programs. Apparently you can use a mobile thingie to find players and their stats, and selfies are preferable to autographs
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Now that Choral has proven herself to be a wild card, Alicia and Naomi decide to investigate a water park because even in the apocalypse you need a vacation. Strand meets Al as Madison tries to outwit the Vultures. Fear the Walking Dead, 9pm ET on AMC
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
John McCain finally admits that, yes, picking Sarah Palin as the Vice Presidential nominee was a mistake: "It was sound advice that I could have reasoned for myself. But my gut told me to ignore it and I wish I had"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 05, 2018
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
80-year-old man puts himself up for adoption
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Ever run across yourself on Facebook ... and immediately realized it wasn't you? Well surely Facebook is doing something about it, right? Right?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
30 self-driving BMWs are being deployed on the Las Vegas Strip so people can be amazed at the sight of a BMW using its turn signal
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 04, 2018
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Note to self, and potential college quarterbacks: don't run into a cactus
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
NBC showed itself to be a purveyor of real news by correcting itself live on the air
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
Kurt Warner all miffed that Jason Witten is getting the ESPN Monday Night Football gig. Warner obviously hasn't been told yet that he's self-centered, opinionated and a horrible announcer
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Security cameras capture handcuffed man throwing himself off second floor of courthouse. Props to deputy who leaps from behind desk and almost catches him. Almost
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Man can't stand to see his wife go so he blows up himself, his barn, his house, and the regional SWAT team
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 03, 2018
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Identity thief accidentally ships phones to victim's home, then tries to pick them up himself
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
An Open Letter to Evangelical Christians: "Soon enough, the 'need' to defend Trump will pass. He'll be gone from the American scene. Then, you'll stand in the wreckage of your own reputation and ask yourself, 'Was it worth it?'"
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Protip: Don't take selfies with bears (disturbing video)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 02, 2018
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
After being punished by the Yankees on Tuesday night, Astros reliever Ken Giles took matters into his own hand, punching himself in the face on his way to the dugout after giving up the go-head home run in the top of the ninth inning
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
New at IKEA: three-piece suits that come with an allen key and a set of instructions to build yourself
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
So, remember that glowing health report that Trump's private doctor wrote? Well, it was dictated by Trump himself. You're shocked, aren't you? No, wait, what's that thing that's the opposite of shocked?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 01, 2018
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Everyone has given their opinion on Michelle Wolf's routine at the WHCD. From that broke guy and his followers to the fake media and that woman who burns facts to make herself pretty. Now, let's hear from the only person who matters: Stephen Colbert
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Lead)
 
 
 
Don Nelson slams Warriors' Chris Webber for selfishness and lack of leadership. Hmm, my closet has no flannel in it and I sold all my New Jack Swing CDs... perhaps I should invest in Google
source: thebiglead.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Man describes self as a minister with doctorate degrees, a police officer, boat captain, a social activist, an administrator, a professor and a politician. He must have been convincing as they let him out of jail to work at his "cop job"
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
26-story building on fire collapses in on itself after just 90 minutes as the heat melts the steel infrastructure. Sounds familiar
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Oh, so it's wrong to send a framed photo of yourself along with your resume to a perspective employer
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"I have a dishwasher at home myself: My wife. That was bad. Actually, I do the dishes, most of the time"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 30, 2018
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Captain Obvious now moonlighting at Scientific American: Self-Driving Cars and Humans Face Inevitable Collisions
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The Pentagon is set to defeat to Uber and Tesla in the race over self-driving vehicles with absolutely no secret helping hand from Skynet. Nope. None
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 27, 2018
(Metro)
 
 
 
The only thing we have to fear is... phobophobia itself
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio Alt 102.3 FM)
 
 
 
Tom Arnold sequesters himself in a Torrance Starbucks restroom to pen wacky incest songs as British woman announces that she is her own Grandma
source: alt1023fm.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
House Intelligence Committee releases final Russia report: "No collusion no collusion. You're the collusion. The Deep State took all my grapefruits, now how am I supposed to entertain myself this weekend?"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
"It's self-evident Kanye West has the same mission as InfoWars," says a visibly aroused Alex Jones
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
The NFL investigated itself and found that it did nothing wrong by asking Derrius Guice if he was gay
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 26, 2018
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: If you're an on-the-job alcoholic who pushes opioids and is just a raging asshole, it may behoove you not to put yourself under the searing light of confirmation hearings
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Tesla's Autopilot division loses third director in over a year, might have to run itself for a little while
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Janelle Monáe has declared herself to be pan-sexual. I have nothing against pans and people can do whatever they want, but... how
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Baseball player removed from game after hitting himself in the head with his bat during warmups
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 25, 2018
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
PA lawmaker who recently accused a colleague of being gay because he repeatedly touched the lawmaker's arm; writes an angry FB post denouncing yet another legislator as "a lying homosexual". Dude, sit down, I have something to tell you about yourself
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The online community of self-proclaimed guys who couldn't get laid in a whorehouse have anointed Toronto mass murderer Alek Minassian as "our next new saint." Can we label them terrorists and ship the lot off to Gitmo now?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 24, 2018
(Irish Central)
 
 
 
57% of the Irish who were asked if they intended to watch the Royal wedding said "go fook yerself, I'm not cuttin' into me drinkin' time watching some shiate Proddy weddin' 'tween a ponce an' his no better than she should be tart, now feck off"
source: irishcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Welfare queen Sean Hannity is basking in the glow of all the media attention he's getting
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHO TV Des Moines)
 
 
 
Dobbe arrested for running over woman. Bad house-elf
source: whotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Will Trump demand the return of Freedom Fries? Will he assert himself as the Master of the House? Mon dieu, this is YOUR joint press conference with French President Macron (LGT C-SPAN @ roughly 1145 EDT)
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
YouTube has ruined the age-old artform of filming yourself doing stupid stuff, says Slate writer who apparently believes filming yourself doing stupid stuff is an age-old artform
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 23, 2018
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
Stop spamming yourself. Stop spamming yourself. Stop spamming yourself
source: zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
After years of getting money for nothing, Facebook finds itself in dire straits as it can't skate away from Congress due to its proliferation of an industrial disease
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 22, 2018
(Fansided)
 
 
 
Madison tries to coax some new allies as a new threat emerges. Will Junky Depp do something stupid? Will Alicia find a way to make a catastrophic mistake? Where's Morgan? Seriously, Jenna Elfman is in this? Fear the Walking Dead, 9pm ET on AMC
source: fansided.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wilkes-Barre Times Leader)
 
 
 
Man arrested for patronizing a prostitute tells police he's self-employed. After being reminded that he's currently the mayor of the neighboring town, he replies "for now"
source: timesleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Rapper Belly gets punched in the belly a bunch of times at Coachella, thanks his lucky stars he didn't call himself Testeez
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 21, 2018
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
3D self-aware robot squid that can be printed on the battlefield are being developed by the military. Which will be great as soon as we need sentient sushi on the battlefield
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
It's Record Store Day 2018. Did you find the coveted Bowie and Zeppelin releases? Snag the U2 and Duran Duran rarities? Get yourself some Johnny Cash? Share your rare finds and achievements here
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 20, 2018
(The Hill)
 
 
 
McCabe: Go f*ck yourself, Donnie *sues administration for wrongful termination and defamation*
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Trumpenfuror pressed KKKeebler Elf to fire FBI agents for sending anti-Trump texts
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My child likes to make himself vomit for fun. Is that weird? Is that wrong? Should I stop him?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Photos from inside Paisley Park. No need to cleanse yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka first (tag is for the chaps)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 19, 2018
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A museum dedicated entirely to selfies has just opened. Oddly enough, most visitors don't take the opportunity to look up from their phones long enough to appreciate the exhibits
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Elon Musk decides to step in where the US government won't, and provide Puerto Rico with batteries to power itself until the power can be turned back on
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 18, 2018
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Former Watergate prosecutor explains how Hannity opened himself up to criminal charges thanks to his lies over Cohen
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
All we have to fear is fear itself... and snakes... and clowns
source: morepotatoes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
Boobies
 
Tuck yourself back inside side-boob, there's a new cleavage trend in town flopping around called the "underboob"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Robber with glue gun finds himself in sticky situation
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 17, 2018
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Paying $3,000 extra for a car's self-driving functionality that doesn't even exist yet isn't normal. But on Tesla it is
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Congress is required to pass a budget that balances itself within 10 years; but thanks to the looming trillion-dollar deficits, that would require cuts the would be politically suicidal. So the Budget Cmte chair has a plan: Eliminate the Budget Cmte
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Michael Cohen's bank reported the transfer of the $130,000 home equity loan as suspicious, meaning it's entirely possible Trump not paying his mistress himself might be what brings him down
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke calls himself "geologist" despite never having worked in field. Does that make Devin Nunes a botanical gynecologist?
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 16, 2018
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Pygmy whale dies after stranding itself on Florida beach. Jumbo shrimp, military intelligence to attend funeral
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
Trump lawyer Michael Cohen is talking to himself, trying to talk himself into representing himself
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
German doctor is charged with killing his lover by sprinkling cocaine on himself before having her perform oral sex, which gives a whole new meaning to "coke head"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Trump requests the court allow him to investigate himself so he can decide he did nothing wrong
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 15, 2018
(IGN)
 
 
 
Now that Junkie Depp and Alicia have gotten separated from Madison, will she become The Governess and rule with an iron fist? How will Morgan fit into the plot? Jenna Elfman? Really? Fear the Walking Dead season 4 premiere, 10 PM ET on AMC
source: ign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 13, 2018
(Slate)
 
 
 
Millennials are not all narcissists and boomers are not inherently selfish. Can we stop talking about generations as if they are a thing?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
News: Suspected white supremacist blows himself up making ISIS style bombs in Wisconsin. Fark: He had so many explosives in his apartment firefighters decided it was safer to just let the entire 16 unit building burn down
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Okay, so aside from Greitens himself, is there anyone left in Missouri that wants him to stay on as Governor?
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
It has been one hell of a week, but we made it through. So pour yourself a glass, sit back and watch Clannad with the Irish national choir ANÚNA perform Theme From Harry's Game inside Christ Cathedral in Dublin. Feel that stress melt away...aaahhhh
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gwinnett Daily Post)
 
 
 
High school wrestling coach fired after admitting to wrestling with self on campus
source: gwinnettdailypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 12, 2018
(The Register)
 
 
 
The true victims of Brexit are: a) Brits having to watch their country self-harm, b) immigrants no longer feeling welcome in the UK, or c) RuneScape players
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Quebecois warned -- you are not from Florida, try to avoid taking selfies with the coyotes
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
When you're getting away with murder, it's a good idea not to record yourself confessing to it
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Self-service gas stations experiment with valets who pump gas, take payment, and wash your windows. Not a repeat from 1955
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 11, 2018
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Moby gets jealous of Morrissey's self-importance and bad press
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
In his mind John Kelly probably sees himself as playing Leo McGarry to Trump's President Bartlet, but the reality he's more like Blackadder the butler to Trump's Prince George
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump plans to restore "independence and dignity to millions of Americans" by cutting their welfare benefits and forcing them to find jobs that don't exist
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 10, 2018
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Even with Castle Doctrine, self-defense, stand-your-ground on your side, it's unlawful to run out of your house in middle of the night, fire off warning shot, because you think somebody's on your property. You shoot to kill
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The Trump-approved, Trump-appointed U.S. Attorney for SDNY (whose office carried out the raid yesterday) has recused himself
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Stop trying to make "fetch" happen. It's... Oh. What? It's a musical? Wow, Damien, you've truly out-gayed yourself
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 09, 2018
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
John Oliver blasts Pruitt over size of his security detail to places like Disneyland: "Even Mickey and Minnie Mouse would tell him to go fark himself"
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Blac Chyna is confident that she'll maintain her joint custody status in spite of publicly brawling at Magic Mountain and having chosen to name herself Blac Chyna
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The latest thing you're doing wrong? Making your hot tea. Though really, hot tea itself is a mistake; drink coffee like an adult
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 08, 2018
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman takes selfie and catches guy slipping something into her drink. So, selfies are not entirely useless, as it turns out
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 05, 2018
(CNN)
 
 
 
Business traveler has collected 15,000 hotel Do Not Disturb signs - a hobby which itself is a little disturbing
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Grab yourself a falafel and enjoy these confidential Bill O'Reilly settlement details which just went public
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Either he's blaming himself for issues at the border, or, his phone failed to autocorrect "Trump" to "Obama"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 04, 2018
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Former Nunes staffer says that Trump corrupted Nunes. "The pressure from the White house was just too great." Devin? I think we'll let Dostoevsky finish this headline: "Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Do you fear self driving cars will make your commute a bore? Well, worry no more: Apple has just applied for in car VR games. Driving simulators are expected to be popular
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 03, 2018
(Variety)
 
 
 
Lynda Carter lassos herself a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Airline passenger shamed back to coach after helping herself to "upgrade." Unconfirmed reports identify the woman as Elaine Benes
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 02, 2018
(Coconuts)
 
 
 
Coffee shop fight has all the makings of a drama with yelling, slapping, fake fainting, breaking glass, selfies, and applause
source: coconuts.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Eggs are rolled, Dow Jones keeps dropping, China retaliates in self-inflicted trade war, Dotard continues to dotar. It's the Manic Monday MSNBC Discussion thread, festivities and libations start at 8pm EDT
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 01, 2018
(Fansided)
 
 
 
The Council of Ricks has fractured as Rick and Morgan split from the group and encounter new dangers. Has Maggie positioned herself as the new group leader? Will Negan return? Find out in "Still Gotta Mean Something." The Walking Dead, 9pm EDT on AMC
source: fansided.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Schoolboys refuse to let go of man about to hang himself from motorway bridge. "I hope other children can see it's worth stopping to help someone"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 30, 2018
(Bustle)
 
 
 
It was represented to me by the bursting open, as it were, of the infernal pit of Hell itself from whence issued out a horrid pastry that darken'd the whole doughnut shop
source: bustle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
GOP: 'Holy crap, we're getting our tail kicked this election season. we need a gimmick fast. I know, lets blame Hillary.' [congratulates self, leaves room]
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 29, 2018
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Milo Youknowipocketedthis's charity for white men closes amid questions about which white man it benefited other than himself
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(13 News Now)
 
 
 
Toyota exec, on deaths caused by self-driving cars: "Meh, eggs, omelets, and all that'
source: 13newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
The best parties are the ones you organise yourself, even if it is your own wake
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 28, 2018
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Now we know why Uber tried to steal Google's self-driving car technology: it's WAY(mo) better than Uber's. While Uber has yet to reach the milestone of driving 13 miles without the need for human intervention, Google's record is currently 5,600 miles
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
BMW X5 owner suing after thumb severed by self-closing door despite fact his Rolex was unscathed
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWWL Waterloo)
 
 
 
Chris Hansen asks himself to take a seat right over there
source: kwwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 27, 2018
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The self-driving car anti-collision technology didn't fail, Uber just turned it off
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Ronda Rousey goes on Mike and Mike, gets annoyed that one of the Mikes now calls himself Wingo
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PetaPixel)
 
 
 
Why selfies make your nose look 30% bigger
source: petapixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump is now retweeting himself about building his wall using military funds. Looks like after Fox and Friends suggested it, he's planning on going through with it
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 26, 2018
(CBR)
 
 
 
Tonight, on Legends of Tomorrow, Ava vanishes and it's up to Gary to rescue her as long as he can get home for game night. (CW 8ET) Later, on iZombie, Liv finds herself in the sin bin while tracking down a murderer. (CW 9ET)
source: cbr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Tomorrow's Fox News headline: Who's the narcissist? Obama plots to clone himself a million times
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Charles Bronson covered himself in butter to rumble with prison guards. How dairy
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Today in Bizarro World, I find myself agreeing with Pat Robertson
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 25, 2018
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Say what you will about the Bulgarians, but they truly care about a stork's welfare
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 24, 2018
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Exiled Keebler elf demanding that Congress pass laws banning strong encryption
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huddersfield Examiner)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for swearing at herself
source: examiner.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NHL)
 
 
 
12, 12 NHL games today, ah ha ha ha ha. Only two hockey Saturdays left in the regular season, so every game is important. Except for the ones that aren't, you know who you are. First faceoff @ 3pm ET. STIFLE YOURSELF, PIERRE
source: nhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Bikes really confuse self-driving cars because sometime they act like bikes and sometimes they act like pedestrians
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 23, 2018
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bush era diplomat says "Trump has set himself up for three kinds of wars- political, economic and military, and you should be afraid, very afraid. Sleep well
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Free Beacon)
 
 
 
Congress gives itself bonus in spending bill. Only fair because they regularly try to bone us
source: freebeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Japan News)
 
 
 
Dear Troubleshooter: My incapable coworker is ruining the office with her incompetence, inefficiency, and shirking. We've told our boss, who has no idea what to do. Since we can't change other people's way of thinking, how should I change myself?
source: the-japan-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 22, 2018
(Wired)
 
 
 
Instagram announces latest change to make itself suck as much as Facebook
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Splinter News)
 
 
 
GOP concerned about their candidates' laziness. Food stamp welfare queen unavailable for comment
source: splinternews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Walmart rolls out shelf-scanning robots in 50 stores. Those sounds you hear are the death rattles of more jobs taken from humans
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Scottish comedian charged with a hate crime for posting a video of himself teaching his dog to perform a Nazi salute on command to piss off his girlfriend (w/video)
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
South Korea adds itself to "countries that have a beef with Facebook" list
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 21, 2018
(MSN)
 
 
 
You really shouldn't mischaracterize your boss and then send a photoshop to the press to defend yourself. Especially if your boss is the pope
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Racist Keebler Elf Jeff Sessions urges lawyers across the country to use magical, nonexistent laws to try to get the death penalty for drug dealers
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Self-proclaimed member of the master race swatted himself
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Oops ...Charlie Rose finds himself in an awkward position at a #MeToo gathering
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Study shows LSD blurs lines between self and others; brings those purple monkey dragon hybrids into sharp relief
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"What we know about the Austin bomber." Well, 1. He liked blowing things up. 2. Including himself
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Here's how much you have to make to even consider yourself upper-class, but you still may not feel like you are part of it
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Man charged with operating a "drug factory" apparently used most of the product himself, according to the pictures
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Having spent months criticizing the FBI, Trump praises them for causing the Austin bombing suspect to kill himself
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Minor league baseball team will rename itself "The Flying Chanclas" for nine games this season
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Because no one has been killed in a regular car (except for every five minutes), people are really freaked out about one self-driving car death
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 20, 2018
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Crikey, it's a Greater Australian Racist Bogan in its natural habitat: the welfare office
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Play yourself off, Keyboard Cat
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Port Technology)
 
 
 
Cargo ship was so excited at meeting another that it couldn't contain itself
source: porttechnology.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 19, 2018
(10 News)
 
 
 
This is the healthiest place to sit on a plane. Just plant yourself and stay there
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Now for the low low price of $10 to $20 you can have some of Guy Fieri's goatee or bleached-blonde head hairs named after yourself or a special someone. No word on paying just a little extra will get one of the short and curly ones named
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
99 year old WW2 veteran takes self on nationwide show and tell tour, meets young WW2 veteran
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJBF Augusta)
 
 
 
The FCC says there are still more than 100,000 pay phones operating in the US. In case you don't know what a pay phone is ...lets just say you can't put it in your pocket or take selfies with it
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Sears- once the king of retail and a giant is now a cash-starved shell of its former self whose very survival is in doubt. Roebuck inconsolable
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 18, 2018
(Metro)
 
 
 
Step 1: Claim food poisoning at a holiday resort. Step 2: Get caught because of pouting smug poolside selfies while having a great time. Priceless: Have a judge find you "fundamentally dishonest" and be ordered to pay a £15,000 fine
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Deciding to model itself on the House Intelligence committee, the UK Parliament's Brexit committee publishes competing reports, ranging from "Stop this madness" to "Tally Ho". Do you think they microwave grapefruit in the UK, or just boil them?
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Fri March 16, 2018
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Malaysian man who described himself as a "snake whisperer" dies after getting ... and we're pretty sure you can figure out the rest of the headline
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Thu March 15, 2018
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Don't tase yourself, bro
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Blue Apron to start selling meal kits in supermarkets (or you can stroll over to the produce section and buy all of the ingredients yourself)
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
If injecting my daddy with heroin because he was so drunk he couldn't do it himself and asked me to do it for him is wrong, I don't want to be right
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 14, 2018
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Shia LaBeouf says 2017 arrest "came from a place of self-centered delusion"...so basically him
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Nikki Haley has positioned herself to be the latest contestant to be fired from the Celebrity White House
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 13, 2018
(The Local)
 
 
 
Swedish firm Scania to start testing self-driving semi-trucks in spring. Business or geek? Oh, the decisions... let's go business. Now get in here and comment, dang it
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pitchfork)
 
 
 
Seattle radio station KEXP plans to play every single Sub Pop catalog number over the next four months in lead-up to the label's 30th anniversary. "This is going to be a really fun, completely self-inflicted pain in the ass"
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Mon March 12, 2018
(Comic Book)
 
 
 
Tonight, on Legends of Tomorrow, The Legends travel to Memphis 1954 to save rock n' roll itself. Meanwhile, Zari and Wally bond over some ice cream (CW 8pm EDT) Later, on iZombie, love is in the air and Blaine gets an offer he can't refuse. (CW 9pm EDT)
source: comicbook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Farmer wants 'eat like a pig' removed from the dictionary because it's offensive to animals. Of course, an easier solution would be to just keep the dictionary high on the bookshelf where the animals can't get to it
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Johnny Manziel: "I'm bi-polar, and used drugs and alcohol to self-medicate. I'm better now, I need another chance in the NFL"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Early signatures of a social brain: Children as young as 3 have a brain network devoted to interpreting the thoughts of others. But until then, they're leaky, shrieking, selfish, toxin-spewing, life-sucking demons. Ask any parent, including your own
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 10, 2018
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Researcher creates 'Instagram' of immune system by blending science, technology, cat pics and selfies
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Look, Mr. Smug Driver, just because you own a fancy self-driving Tesla doesn't mean you get to show off by driving with your feet hanging out the window
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Remember when U.S. Attorney General Keebler Elf was a staunch supporter of state's rights? Pepperidge Farm remembers
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 09, 2018
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Tonight, on the 100th episode of Agents of SHIELD, When old enemies return Coulson finds himself longing of Tahiti. It's a magical place. Meanwhile, Ruby continues her efforts to disarm SHIELD. (9ET ABC)
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Waymo to test self-driving truck in Atlanta. I predict waymo traffic problems than usual
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
"My 7-year-old daughter's crying in bed right now because she wants to wear her Star Wars t-shirt to school but is scared her classmates will laugh because she likes 'boy stuff." Advice comes from none other than Mark Hamill himself
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Sure it's a little cold outside in Antarctica, but that's no reason a couple of lovebirds can't take selfies of their preening selves to let the world know
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(WTOP)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but it looks like today's college students aren't quite as self-reliant as college students of the past. Your college student called you to complain about this headline's harmful impact on his self esteem
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(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Clueless star Stacy Dash...ya know what, you've already clicked on the link so just go read it for yourself
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 08, 2018
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Selfish self-centered slimeball supreme sausage slams snakey Sanders spreading Stormy story
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(Cleveland 19)
 
 
 
Woman sickened by self-chewing cashews
source: cleveland19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Secretary of Veterans Affairs is kicking ass and taking names to fix some of the many issues at the VA. He'll reward himself with a trip to Wimbledon for the effort
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 07, 2018
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Civil War II: Keebler Elf Boogaloo
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Facebook has patented a self-balancing robot that will follow you around your home taking pictures, tag you in your sleep
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Farmers fear immigration crackdown could devastate California agriculture, leave Keebler elf with only productive tree
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
One problem with self-driving cars is people
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 06, 2018
(Screen Rant)
 
 
 
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to protect Sector 2814 (this movie will self-destruct in 15 seconds)
source: screenrant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
And you may ask yourself, "Why didn't I collaborate with women on my new album?" And you may find yourself saying, "My God, what have I done?" And you may find yourself apologizing to everyone for it
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWQC Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Iowa man shoots himself with his own gun in the parking lot of a gun show (link updated)
source: kwqc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 05, 2018
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
How bad are ham and pineapple pizzas? So bad that people won't even buy them when it's the only thing left of the shelf during a snowstorm
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(National Review)
 
 
 
"Why the Left Won't Win the Gun-Control Debate." TL;DR: They can't persuade a rational, reasonable adult who's experienced a threat that they're safer without effective means of self-defense
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(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Just in case you're thinking about Van Goghing yourself, here's how losing your ear will affect your hearing
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Best Oscar 2018 moment nominee: when Mark Hamill introduced himself as Luke Skywalker to Gal Gadot, calling her Wonder Woman (w/video)
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 04, 2018
(Axios)
 
 
 
A leaked Grand Jury subpoena lists 9 Trump associates and Trump himself as people Mueller is targeting
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Sat March 03, 2018
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Alec Baldwin has to show up to address Trump's Tweets, as a self-referential parody will irritate Trump. Will the show reach new heights of greatness, or will it be turrible? Charles Barkley hosts and Migos is the musical guest. SNL, 11:30 ET on NBC
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Turns out that your nose really isn't as large as you thought all along, selfie-loving-narcissists
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Seven languages on the verge of extinction include Icelandic, Elfdalian, and Wyoming Jive
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 02, 2018
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Burmese python devours white-tailed deer that weighed more than the python itself, generates most Florida wildlife pics ever (Warning: Graphic images)
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(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Trump wants John Kelly to fire Jared and Ivanka as he's too chicken to do it himself, especially since no one understands the powers Kushner has as a ventriloquist dummy brought to life
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(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
And you may ask yourself, "can I listen to David Byrne's new solo album for free?" And you may hear NME say, "my god, click here"
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(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Evangelical Republicans desperate to protect Trump from himself have gathered in a D.C. area hotel to cast spells and use necromancy to defeat the anti-christ and save the nation. And that's not even the strangest thing to happen this week
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(Imgur)
 
 
 
"Did Jared have seven investigations into him or six?" Well to tell you the truth in all these news dumps I kinda lost track myself. So you've gotta ask yourself one question, "Do ya feel lucky?" Well? Do ya? Because heres a handy dandy chart of them
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(Vox)
 
 
 
Selfies are making us hate our noses and distorting our sense of bodily acceptance
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 01, 2018
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
What you shouldn't do if you work at a cell-phone store? Email yourself a sex video that you find on a customer's phone
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(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Snap CEO to employees: Since you failed to reach internal targets that you were never told about, you're not getting a bonus. Oh, and I'm giving myself a $600 million bonus
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