Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
headlines found matching 'counts'
Mon May 21, 2018
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Man upset over noisy kids. Does he A: Yell at them to shut up? B: Call their parents? or C: Open fire on them with an AK-47? (With bonus 'I don't own a comb' mugshot goodness)
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 20, 2018
(WRAL)
 
 
 
As God as my witness, I thought diesels could run on liquid meth
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 19, 2018
(Public Radio Tulsa)
 
 
 
The crimes of Branson pinned on a single Oklahoma man. You'd think that Branson would have taken a conspiracy to pull off
source: publicradiotulsa.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 17, 2018
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The Waffle House hero's description of his phone call with the president also best describes Melania's sex life with Trump
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 11, 2018
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Avoid the blister beetle at all cost. This is not a euphemism for unsafe sex
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Sheriff learns you can't lend out jail inmates for personal work at county officials' homes
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 10, 2018
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
As we focus on Jeff Sessions' comments about taking away children of immigrants at the border, a Russian asylum seeker recounts how that is exactly what Putin started doing to his political opponents. But don't worry, it's probably just a coincidence
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 09, 2018
(WRAL)
 
 
 
After winning a race to be the mayor of a North Carolina town by just 7 votes, it would have been wise to have just one glass of champagne during the celebration
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Richmond.com)
 
 
 
So, um, apparently it is illegal for restaurants in Virginia to talk about or promote Happy Hour specials (discounts, deals, etc.). Violations can trigger week-long liquor license suspensions and fines of up to $500
source: richmond.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(valley morning star)
 
 
 
Wells Fargo: So, you're in a victim protection program? Don't worry, we only sold your information to a few vendors. It should be okay
source: valleymorningstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 08, 2018
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Not news: Man barbecues. Fark: Meaning he set a hotel on fire. Ultra Fark: In order to barbecue alleged child molesters
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 06, 2018
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Jury finds Santa Claus guilty of burglary, aggravated stalking for breaking into woman's trailer to leave her samples from his 90-pound sack of panties. Ho ho ho
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 30, 2018
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
"Who huffs computer cleaner while driving a car? On the interstate highway in the middle of the afternoon?"
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Marriage material right there
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Juror from Bill Cosby's criminal trial says the evidence that swayed HIM into voting guilty was the minor gaffe by Cosby, of admitting to the crime, under oath in the deposition he gave in a civil trial
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"OFF WITH YOUR HEADS" - Marian Antoinette
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 28, 2018
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Americans are hoarding more money in their checking accounts, as they take advantage of the mega 0.06% interest rate
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 27, 2018
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
♪♫♬ Oh another Wells Fargo settlement is a-comin' down the street,♬ oh please let it be for.... pushing 401Ks from low-cost options into expensive individual accounts that cost retirees tens of thousands ♪♫♬ (seriously, fark these guys)
source: twocents.lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 26, 2018
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for felony B&E at hospital claims she wasn't trying to steal newborns from neonatal units, just hand-deliver first baby bibles to babies. But crazy eyes don't lie
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Bill Cosby "doesn't have a plane, you asshole"
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 25, 2018
(Irish Central)
 
 
 
Because nothing says "Chase cares about our customers" like telling people their dead parent's bank accounts are overdrawn by $99 billion
source: irishcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester Democrat and Chronicle)
 
 
 
Mr. Deals has the best deals in town. How does Mr. Deals bring you the greatest deals for miles around? Two words: "stolen merchandise." Also 10 million Fark submissions achievement unlocked
source: democratandchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 23, 2018
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Supreme Court 2010: Sentencing a juvenile to life in prison without parole violates the 8th amendment. Supreme Court 2017: Sentencing a juvenile to 240 years in prison with his first parole eligibility when he's 112 years old? Yeah, that's totally fine
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 22, 2018
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Woman charged with leaving kids home alone while she danced on top of bar at Applebees
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 18, 2018
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Despite what you see on celebrity Instagram accounts, actually going to Coachella as a pleb kind of sucks
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 17, 2018
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Coral Springs rush in where Broward fears to tread
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 16, 2018
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Florida man asks one of the eternal questions of life: "What would happen if I stole some beer?"
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 13, 2018
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Zut alors. Retired French star soccer player, currently director for Miami FC, has gone native, with the Gallic flair of holding cup of wine when taken into custody
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 10, 2018
(MSN)
 
 
 
Donald Trump's food stamp crackdown may cause trouble for Wally World
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 07, 2018
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"DNA testing revealed 11 children in the camp were the product of a sexual relationship by their mothers with either a brother, father or other close male relative"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 06, 2018
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Department of Homeland Security wants to keep a list of journalists and "media influencers." Subby wonders if his number of approved posts counts
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 05, 2018
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Protip: If your storage locker is being sold at auction, maybe take the child porn out of it, first. Especially if you're the adult featured in it
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 04, 2018
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
"Hey man, you can't keep your rabbits and birds in this apartment." "Fine, I'll just find the nearest trash compactor and hit the button"
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 03, 2018
(Truro Daily)
 
 
 
"He allegedly smashed the front window of the home, woke a sleeping household and tried to torch the place, but he was civilized in his manner"
source: trurodaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 02, 2018
(Metro)
 
 
 
Shocking video of Japanese baggage handlers NOT kicking the shiat out of suitcases, but actually cleaning the bags on the conveyor belt (possible NSFW content on page)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Although advertisers have been abandoning her in droves after her Twitter attack on parkland survivor David Hogg, Laura Ingraham has seen a massive flood of supportive messages on Twitter...most of them from Russian bot accounts, true, but still
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 31, 2018
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
U-Haul driver in New Hampshire arrested after running out of gas following a 20-mile interstate chase. Although who could blame the guy for trying his best to get out of New Hampshire as fast as possible?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 29, 2018
(Time)
 
 
 
The Secret Service appears to be monitoring your facebook account for anti-Trump comments. Man, hope they don't start looking at Fark accounts...hold on, there's a knock at my door
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Rental house used to film dirty movies. No photos of the house in the article but they at least gave the movie titles
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 28, 2018
(KWWL Waterloo)
 
 
 
Chris Hansen asks himself to take a seat right over there
source: kwwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 27, 2018
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man with 'I am a thief and an idiot' tattooed on his face proves to be right on both counts
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 26, 2018
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Kraft discounts any discord in Patriots organization. Friction is 20% off, and squabbling is buy one, get one free
source: pro32.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 24, 2018
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tumblr releases the names of 83 accounts linked to Russian state sponsored trolls... what... NO Not YOU mooseblogtimes. Now where will I go for all my moose related news?
source: tumblr.zendesk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 20, 2018
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, t-shirt irony is alive and well in Connecticut
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 19, 2018
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
DUI driver vomits out window, swerves into oncoming traffic, serves up hilarious mugshot
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 18, 2018
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
You know you're having a bad day when you crash your car into a wall and your 10-year-old calls the cops on your drunken ass as she walks to a nearby relative's house to get help
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 16, 2018
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
As students walked out to protest the ease of gun ownership, one custodian stole cash out of their backpacks
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
It's always a bad idea to take your work home with you. More so when your work involves C-4
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 15, 2018
(Metro)
 
 
 
Starbucks will offer EMS workers permanent discounts, so coffee will only cost them about $8 a cup
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 13, 2018
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
God busy auditing the accounts from the Bookkeeper of Auschwitz
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 12, 2018
(10 News)
 
 
 
News: Illegal Mexican hides from ICE for 6 years Not news: By getting a job Fark: With Border Patrol
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 10, 2018
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Cops catch OC flasher thanks to DNA from fence-humping escapades
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 09, 2018
(NPR)
 
 
 
Great, Scott
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Pop goes the weasel, despite the restraining order
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 08, 2018
(Southern CA Public Radio)
 
 
 
Zodiac Killer finally brought to justice
source: scpr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 07, 2018
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Former Louisiana deputy intentionally crashes into convenience store, steals ATM, pulls a gun, threatens owners and witnesses, charged with one count of inattentive driving
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Head of the Fyre Festival pleads guilty to wyre fraud
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 06, 2018
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Daycare workers make kids' naptime extra special by handing out gummy bears laced with melatonin first. Sweet dreams, you little bastards
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 01, 2018
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"My Bad Teacher" starring Jennifer Connelly
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 27, 2018
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Not news: Man convicted for secretly filming sex partners asks MO governor for pardon. Fark: Using same legal arguments MO Governor Eric Greitens' lawyers are making for dismissing invasion of privacy charges against Greitens
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
This is completely normal. Special counsels drop charges of tax fraud against associates of the president's campaign manager all the time
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 26, 2018
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Heather Locklear arrested on felony domestic violence, assaulting cop. Yeap, definitely don't want to go with crazy
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Twin brothers, both school employees, arrested for child porn a week apart. One has the 'evil twin' mustache
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 21, 2018
(Politico)
 
 
 
New charges brought in the Gates-Manafort case. *munches popcorn*
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
One moment you're setting fire to the house you lost in a divorce. The next, you end up burning down 20 houses. Bitter, angry ex-wife mugshot goodness included
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 20, 2018
(Deseret News)
 
 
 
George "Iceman" Gervin recounts epic game of H-O-R-S-E with "Pistol Pete" Maravich at NBA all-star game about, oh, 82 years ago
source: deseretnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Do crosswalk buttons actually do anything when you press them? The depends on whether or not 'allowing traffic engineers to cackle evilly at your expense' counts
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
RI Senate GOP whip charged with two counts of not using bookmarks
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
A rabbit has been charged with having sex with a 17-year-old girl who was forced into prostitution. That is so not kosher
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 19, 2018
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Anti-abortion Christian extremist rams stolen bakery truck into Planned Parenthood clinic, injuring three, including pregnant woman
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 17, 2018
(MSN)
 
 
 
Give him the Nobel Peace Prize. Trump skips golf for a day to honor school shooting victims
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
The owner of the gun shop the school shooter used, distraught over "the tremendous sense of responsibility in this situation," closes up business
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 14, 2018
(Upper Michigan's Source)
 
 
 
Nothing like getting arrested for meth while wearing a D.A.R.E. shirt
source: uppermichiganssource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon February 12, 2018
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Pastor claims teen parishioner had multiple personalities, just had sex with the demonic one
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 10, 2018
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman admits to teasing her dog
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Mr. French, of Fairy Street, was sentenced to jail for sexual assault and ridiculous hair
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 09, 2018
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Man accused of stealing bongo drums pleads guilty to throwing a shotgun into a pond. Your move, Florida
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Sometimes mainstream media does the headline work for us: "Ont. teacher accused of sex with student made 'learning fun'"
source: canoe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 08, 2018
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
#poowatch
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 06, 2018
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Lexus crashes into Wells Fargo branch resulting in two minor injuries, five new accounts opened
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Banks have closed 1,700 branches in the past year, the fastest pace ever. Mostly because they don't feel they need to have an entire building dedicated to holding accounts with a $5 balance
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun February 04, 2018
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Teacher, 22, charged with multiple counts of sexual assault of student. Who is 18. And the story appears to change every hour, so who knows what to put in the headline now
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 02, 2018
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
I'm not dying?
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PR Newswire)
 
 
 
The women charging you excessive transaction fees and opening accounts you don't want are increasingly likely to be paid the same as the men
source: prnewswire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
Passenger restrained with duct tape and zip ties after storming cockpit, apparently after misunderstanding the flight attendant as having said they were also out of coffee
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 26, 2018
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Second woman's body found at Arbuckle property. Odie humanity
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 24, 2018
(CNN)
 
 
 
NCAA discovers they regulate more college sports than just football and basketball, writes letter to Michigan State asking if there's anything they should know about
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Car insurers accused of discriminating against people with Hotmail accounts. You submitted this with a better headline from an AOL dial-up account
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
'I love you. You love me. I'm a sex guru, not Barney.'
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Pig farmer who killed forty-nine prostitutes, turned them into mincemeat, and sold the remains to customers in his shop expresses remorse he didn't get to hit number fifty
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 23, 2018
(Register Citizen)
 
 
 
Man named Weed busted on drug charges
source: registercitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 22, 2018
(US House of Representatives)
 
 
 
Are you hip? Do you tweet with the twits and your thumbs go at 70 words a minute? Did you follow or "retweet" a Russian? Don't know? Well lucky for you, we have a list of all known Russian Twitter Bot accounts. Check to see for someone you love [PDF]
source: democrats-intelligence.house.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Load older headlines
These are only a small percentage of links submitted. Join TotalFark to see them all!

Link archives »


On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report