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headlines found matching 'coronavirus outbreak'
Thu July 02, 2020
(Some Pollster)
 
 
 
6 in 10 Americans blame people who don't wear masks and ignore social distancing for rollback in reopenings. Looking at you Le Orange
source: monmouth.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
"Thailand to ban online alcohol sales to curb underage drinking." So much wrong, yet so much right
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
TP? pffft. PPE? Old hat. Food staples? We've had our fill. The latest in viral hoarding hotness? cash
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 01, 2020
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Kellyanne Conway says Americans should wear masks and prioritize opening of schools over bars, also global warming is real and the rich should pay more taxes. Ok, ok, not the last two, but still, if that's not progress, I am not sure what is
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 30, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
CDC gives up
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 29, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
More good news from the World Health Organization, they're now saying "the worst is yet to come" in the fight against the coronavirus, and that "the pandemic is actually speeding up"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 26, 2020
(Pew Research Center)
 
 
 
New Pew Poll says Republicans, Democrats are moving even further apart with coronavirus concerns. How can that even be with one side wanting to save everyone and the other wanting to kill them?
source: people-press.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
A doctor has seen some shiat. This would be fine if the doctor had been a proctologist, but she's a physiotherapist
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 25, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
The Phillie Phanatic, Mr. Met, and other MLB mascots are now permitted back in their ballparks. Dancin' Homer still stuck at Duff Gardens
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 24, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Looks like the coronavirus prefers meatpacking plants as an outbreak in Germany forces part of the country to go back into lockdown
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Small businesses are facing a cash crunch post-lockdown
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
New York, New Jersey and Connecticut to the states that haven't taken coronavirus seriously and are now showing large spikes in cases: GTFO
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 23, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Peter Navarro on Phase I China Trade Deal: "It's over." Trump: "The China Trade Deal is fully intact." Navarro: That's what I said, fully intact
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 22, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NYC hired 3,000 workers for contact tracing of Covid-19 virus. It's not going well
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 19, 2020
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Iron Duke Brewing forced to change name after Duke University thinks someone might accidentally enroll there and try to earn a degree. Once again proving, Duke Sucks
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 17, 2020
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
How has Trump's presidency been an abject failure? Let Maddow count the ways
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 15, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The $100 billion conventions industry is starting to reopen and all six attendees could not be more excited
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 13, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Move along, folks, nothing to see here - just China totally locking down parts of Beijing due to coronavirus outbreak at wholesale meat market
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Government pandemic team scrapped prior to Coronavirus outbreak. No, not that one, although if you guessed it was done by an absurdly-haired buffoon have half a point
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 11, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Mall operator realizes this might not be the best time to buy another mall operator
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 08, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Rick Scott: "China is deliberately trying to sabotage efforts to make COVID vaccine." China: "Prove it. There's no need to be shy." Rick Scott: "Errrrr, ummmm, errrrr"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Man who jumped into abandoned well to escape dog rescued after 6 days. Unfortunately, Sting didn't get chance to write song about it
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
Lufthansa promises not to do another "no backsies" if you fly this summer
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 07, 2020
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
May: Coronavirus outbreak in meat processing plant. June: Coronavirus outbreak in seafood processing plant
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 05, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
Well, i hope you're proud of yourselves, protesters. You've RUINED the President's weekend and caused him to have to cancel his golf trip. But don't worry, he's still planning to go to Maine Monday to do a vital inspection of a cotton swab factory
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 04, 2020
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
Apparently our election plans now are to close almost all the polling places so people wait hours in line during a pandemic
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 03, 2020
(CarBuzz)
 
 
 
I think someone just lost their job
source: carbuzz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quinnipiac University)
 
 
 
Trump better get his ass to Texas, there's a bad moon rising down there
source: poll.qu.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Scientist admits Sweden could have handled the coronavirus outbreak better, possibly by doing something, anything
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Mortgage apps up 18% as people show they're batsh*t crazy just to get out and move
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Man, you order the tear-gassing of dozens of innocents and stand by racist cops and suddenly your numbers plummet. WHO COULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING?
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 02, 2020
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Ravens owner gives $1M for social justice reform, or 1/42 Marcus Peters
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 01, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
Putin reschedules vote to extend his rule until 2036 and change the Russian Constitution. Meanwhile in the White House, tiny orange fingers begin trembling with excitement as they reach for their box of gold-plated precedental safety crayons
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio Free Europe)
 
 
 
Even Russian police colonels aren't immune from shoddy window installations. Bonus: He found a shoddy window while suffering from COVID-19
source: rferl.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
England's first sporting event, a greyhound race, was won by a horse named Im Sophie
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 30, 2020
(LA Times)
 
 
 
May the odds be ever in your favor
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Woman with PhD in quantum chemistry says thanks, but she'd rather not attend big coronavirus party thrown by failed casino owner/reality show host
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 28, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
Easyjet has a problem with a third of its workforce
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 27, 2020
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Tokyo Tower main deck reopens, and you only have to climb up 150 meters to reach it. That's 600 steps, but they're metric. Get a "1 DAY PASS" which will allow you to access to the Main Deck as many times as you wish during one day
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 26, 2020
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Socializing during the pandemic, it's a plastic fantastic, a season of discount tents
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Are some states manipulating pandemic statistics? Does a bear shiat in the woods?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 22, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Faced with challenges at home and abroad, Xi whips out his red dragon
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
British theatre is on the brink of collapse
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Is it time to stop giving carers the clap? Use protection when having sex with front line workers, people
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Trump hopes to infect world leaders by still hosting the G-7
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 21, 2020
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
The Neptunes and Deadmaus are teaming up, whoever the hell they are
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Laker says NBA plans for all 30 teams to bunker in WDW would let players leave bubble and return. Just watch out for the Rodman type "who's outside the box, who does that, takes the risk and says, 'Hey, listen, man, I'm healthy, and I feel good'"
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 19, 2020
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Next up in stupid social distancing experiments - the Road Rave
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Who the hell drives 600 miles for a haircut? In these coronavirus times... maybe
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump to WHO: I'm cutting off funding because you ignored reports of Covid-19 spreading in Wuhan including reports the Lancet Journal published in December. The Lancet to Trump: WTF are you talking about? We didn't publish any such thing
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Why don't they just eat more skin?
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 18, 2020
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Another sign that things are slowly returning to normal, NYC may have it's first pedestrian death in two months
source: 1010wins.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
This is the part of the caper where the conspirators start openly turning on each other
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
AI/DC
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 15, 2020
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Exposing the bigotry of blaming a Chinese bar for the coronavirus outbreak
source: ogn.theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Left wing Mother Jones comes clean and agrees with Trump, somewhat: China's response to the coronavirus outbreak was pretty bad
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Free Beacon)
 
 
 
"China is threatening to meddle in the upcoming U.S. presidential election...." Wait. Have they gotten permission from the Russians to do this?
source: freebeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Ivanka: among the many things daddy is into, he's really hot for face masks lately; now on video
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 13, 2020
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
The Mayor of Flavortown, Guy Fieri, is the only decent, "unproblematic" food industry person left
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
As he waits for the final decision on the Olympics, this Japanese fencer has turned to Uber Eats for fitness, money, a point to his life
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 12, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
This is the flattened curve you have been looking for
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
McConnell tells president to "keep his mouth shut", calls him "classless". This would have had a Hero tag if he directed that to a different president
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Crap: New COVID-19 outbreak in Wuhan. Holy Crap: Public health authorities respond by preparing to test the entire population of 11 million people. Holy Crap x2: In only ten days
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 11, 2020
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
National leader announces easing of Coronavirus restrictions, even as daily infection figures are peaking, shifting responsibility to regional governors. No, not that one - but it might as well be
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 10, 2020
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Brazil could be the next epicenter of the coronavirus pandemic. Brazilians could die from the virus
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Greenhorn Chief of his Staff Mark Meadows learns that he must bow to Jared Kushner, the unelected shadow POTUS
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 09, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Just like Cadet Bone Spur's presidency, Obama says that the White House's response to coronavirus has been an 'absolute chaotic disaster'
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Vaccine not necessary. I would have submitted this with a Genius tag were Fark to have one
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 08, 2020
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Shanghai Disneyland sells out of tickets in record time for reopening. It's a profitable world after all
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 07, 2020
(Independent)
 
 
 
Die deutsche Bundesliga-Saison beginnt am 16. Mai und ist die erste europäische Liga, die inmitten der Coronavirus-Pandemie wieder aufgenommen wird
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Frontier airlines decides to abandon its "$39 To Not Be Directly Exposed to COVID-19" surcharge
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
On a call with Lawmakers, HHS Secretary Azar insisted that conditions in the meatpacking plants with Coronavirus outbreaks were sanitary and blamed the infections on the "home and social" aspects of workers' lives. IOW, how Those People live
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Gap sued over a gap in their rent at their midtown Manhattan store
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 06, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Navajo Nation: Can you send us COVID-19 tests and supplies? We need them. US Government: Sure, here's a bunch of body bags
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WABE Atlanta)
 
 
 
Georgia Governor warned that a coronavirus outbreak is resurfacing in northern Georgia. If only we could have seen this coming
source: wabe.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Florida braces for perfect storm of hurricanes combined with COVID
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Tyson reopens largest pork plant in the US despite Coronavirus outbreaks, hopes this won't be their Waterloo
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 05, 2020
(Vox)
 
 
 
Why is Canada doing so much better than the United States regarding the coronavirus? Hint: Leadership, nonpartisan politics and socialized health care
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FactCheck)
 
 
 
There is absolutely NO evidence to back up Trumps claim that Biden wrote him "a letter of apology" for criticizing his China "travel ban". But you knew that already because if existed, a copy would have been mailed with every stimulus check sent out
source: factcheck.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Zillow says home prices could fall as much as 4%, which would leave them wildly overpriced if you're still deluded enough to buy Zillow's numbers
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Hate crimes against Chinese soaring during COVID crisis
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
There's a floating cat sanctuary in Amsterdam. How those cats learned to float, subby will never know
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
We tried to warn you that messing around with illegal drugs will get you sick but you didn't listen, Kidd
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 04, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Stinky Cat's US extradition case to resume in September
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
President Tanzania questions Covid-19 test kits, preferring to rely on herbal treatments promoted by President Madagascar who promises they're effective against all diseases. It's true, he says, they shut down everything
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Stock market investors are starting to realize you can't make money if you kill off all the workers by reopening the economy too soon
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJHG Panama City Beach)
 
 
 
Trump economy setting employment records not seen in over 80 years
source: wjhg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Rage Against The Machine postpone their reunion tour after listening to the experts. "Ok. I'll do what you tell me"
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 03, 2020
(Some Time Traveler)
 
 
 
Drew's prognostication goes viral, spreads like a rash all over the internet
source: latestly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 01, 2020
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Steve Mnuchin requestimng Americamn taxpayers to returmn stimulus checks semnt to dead relatives
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 30, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The following is a complete list of states whose residents give President Trump better marks for handling the pandemic than their governors: [THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK]
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump 2020 has decided that the opening salvo of the campaign will be an ad blitz touting what a great job Trump did handling the Coronavirus outbreak. That's a bold strategy
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 29, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
LabCorp sees a loss. Who knew all this testing would actually cost money?
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Senior Beijing official would like to tell you how much Trump is pulling sh*t out of his arse about China covering up the coronavirus
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Well maybe if Kim Jong Un would show he is not Kim Jong Dead the rumors would stop (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Mario Lopez would like everyone to know that he's getting laid more than you during quarantine
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Zombie)
 
 
 
"In recent years, some of these human remains have reappeared aboveground," Now there's a sentence you don't see every day
source: dnyuz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The cure for homelessness on New York subways is more Too Many Zoos
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
The important figure here is that 2% of Americans polled support injecting disinfectant into a person's veins
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Joe Biden reaches out to an ICU nurse fighting Coronavirus while Trump continues to pat himself on the back
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 28, 2020
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida had cleanest air on record last month. Too bad so many residents stopped breathing it
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Trump repeats attacks on press as deaths continue to mount
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 27, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
You might be surprised to learn that Russia's shipment of PPE to Italy was not sent out of the goodness of their hearts, it was actually propaganda to exploit cracks in the EU
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
British Canadian man French and family forced to leave Spain and are now moored in Italy to wait out COVID-19, additional country references to subsequent headlines
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Glug, glug. Here, catch this anchor
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
America: why aren't we building anymore?
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 26, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Captain Crozier's reinstatement is now bogged down with the top brass at the Pentagon. Enjoy your retirement, Captain
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 25, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
San Francisco mayor says Trump admin confiscated orders of PPE and diverted them to other cities
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 24, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Men are better than women at fighting coronavirus because they just want to get the hell out of the store is a thing an elected official shouldn't say out loud
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LinkedIn)
 
 
 
Georgia business owners give opinions about whether they're ready to 'open back up'. TL;DR: FARK no
source: linkedin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Kim Jong-un is either dead or alive, either his sister is running North Korea or not, or maybe the DRPK's military are running the show. Any way you shake it the Magic 8-Ball says 'war.' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Donnie Jr. proves to Hannity that there is somebody stupider than Donnie Sr
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 23, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Netflix is booming today, and did you know that they have a large collection of foreign films, and even some Hallmark Christmas specials you probably haven't seen three times yet
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Set of closely-watched business surveys show the scale of Europe's looming coronavirus recession: "Are we farked? Yes ☑ No ☐"
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GQ)
 
 
 
The Sopranos' actors Michael Imperioli and Steve Schirripa talk about life in isolation, and how their characters would react to the deadly coronavirus crisis. So yeah, you're gonna die a horrible death
source: gq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Obviously a delicate political question: Should the 2020 Boston Marathon be cancelled? Conservatives: Yes. Liberals: Yes. Hmm
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Looks like in this timeline Scott Summers gets the Legacy Virus
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump: "Georgia shouldn't reopen now." GOP Rep. Doug Collins: "Georgia shouldn't reopen now." Trump: "A moth is a kind of dinosaur." Collins: "A moth is a kind of dinosaur"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Corona and the crashing price of oil add to Putin's problems. He may not be able to afford an army of trolls to destabilize next November's election
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Barron's)
 
 
 
Housing is partying like it's 2008 again
source: barrons.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 22, 2020
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Starmer V Raab in the House of Commons. It's no UFC, but it'll be a nice little fight (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quinnipiac University)
 
 
 
"76 percent say that the state's economy should only reopen when public health officials deem it safe, compared to 17 percent who say it should reopen even if public health officials warn against it". Difficulty: Florida voters
source: poll.qu.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Trump's new immigration freeze isn't about Coronavirus
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Wisconsin Republicans to Governor Evers and Wisconsin residents: DROP DEAD
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Trump: "How DARE anyone put together a video of me denying saying things I said, or didn't...bigly" (with video)
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Conservative group organizing protests against That Woman In Michigan has financial ties to That Woman In The Department Of Education
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 21, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
States: We'll shut down as we see fit. AG Barr: Yeah, about that
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
UK government: "Oh crap, we're running out of PPE." Suppliers: "Here you are, we've made lots of them." UK government: "*crickets*"
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 20, 2020
(Nippon.com)
 
 
 
Japanese sake makers making high octane sake for their customers' sake
source: nippon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
KFC to sell plant-based fried chicken in China. Serves them right
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Koch Brothers are coming for your health care industry to make more money from your illnesses
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Some anti-vaxxers are inoculating themselves against anti-vaxxer propaganda upon discovering what it means to lack immunity to COVID-19
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHYY)
 
 
 
On the whole, toilet-paper makers are getting to the bottom of the shortage and producing record-breaking sheets. Article contains more asinine puns
source: whyy.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
3 Madagascar cities are about to defy the power of meme
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Remember that nursing home in New Jersey where an anonymous tipster reported 17 elderly dead in body bags piled in a storage room just a few days ago? Well they may have downplayed the real number somewhat
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 19, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Selling goods people don't need at high prices is the first casualty of the recession
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Trump fires up the IMAX projector again, declaring that Democrats are on"endless vacation" during the coronavirus crisis
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
I'm not your buddy, friend. I'm not your friend, buddy
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 18, 2020
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Hey there Essential worker, We know it must be hard for you, low wages, no adequate PPE gear. We hear your requests for sick leave and hazard pay. Know that it has not fallen on deaf ears. Please enjoy this Free Lunch, Candy, and Pizza Party
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 17, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Walmart to hire 50,000 more disposable workers for the Coronavirus demand
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The Chinese economy shrank by 6.8% in Q1. Bat's just insane
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
So it seems like Bill Gates has become the newest target of the RW Derp Brigade. Subby suggest that all the idiots who think that Gates is behind C-19 should boycott Microsoft and smash their PCs in protest. That'll show him
source: dnyuz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Procter & Gamble wipes out the competition
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Turns out that most Americans would rather not sacrifice their loved ones at the altar of avarice
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 16, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Turns out the former Navy Secretary may have been lying just a wee little bit about how many people the fired carrier captain sent his memo to
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Japan finally decides to declare a national state of emergency
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Wanna star in Martin Scorsese's new film?
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Look everyone *yawn* Susan Collins is concerned again
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 15, 2020
(BBC)
 
 
 
Police uncover attempt to smuggle face masks into the country undetected by hiding them inside a shipment of cocaine
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Ledger)
 
 
 
Trump adds 560 more people to his unemployment numbers
source: theledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NY Times makes a 3D simulation to show how far respiratory droplets can spread. What they're really trying to say is stay the F*ck away from each other
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Canada's economy shrank a record 9% Canadian
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
UnitedHealth won't seek federal aid because of the virus - it's still printing money faster than the Fed
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 14, 2020
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Cuomo slams Pocket Putin for his insane states' rights battle
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Earlier pandemic resulted in the game Candy Land. So, what boring game will come out of coronavirus?
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Man raises £2m for the NHS on a sponsored walk - in his garden - and is still going. Oh, and he's a 99-year-old WW2 vet who's doing it out of gratitude for his hip replacement surgery. What's your excuse?
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Wells Fargo reports first-quarter EPS of 1 cent before MMA (multiple mortgage adjustment)
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Nebraska's Republican governor, discount store Lex Luthor Pete Ricketts, refuses to issue a stay-at-home order, putting the entire state at risk of a Coronavirus outbreak
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Russia is handling their coronavirus outbreak so well there's definitely no queues of ambulances trying to bring patients to Moscow hospitals
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 13, 2020
(Fox News)
 
 
 
1,200 infected on Long Island, and that's just the healthcare workers
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Spain and Italy have made enough progress in fighting COVID-19 to start reopening their economies. Meanwhile, the US is still deciding whether to send millions to their deaths
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Amazon Fresh and Amazon Prime Now's next available slot for delivery for new customers is some indefinite time between now and August, maybe
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Man seen spitting on elevator buttons wants everyone to know he's very sorry he got caught
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Trump fumes over the unfairness of the fallout from his own behavior
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"God is larger than this dreaded virus," says the evangelical preacher who promptly disproves the entire point he was trying to make
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
1 in 3 Wisconsinites admit to drinking alcohol while working from home, a marked increase from the three-out-of-ten that did so on the job
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Cruise ship bookings are up for 2021 despite, y'know, the deaths and viral outbreaks
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Sometimes, it's not what you say, it's how you say it. And sometimes it's what you say and how you say it, like this nursing home telling staff how to reuse masks
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 12, 2020
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Donald J Trump is a broke biatch
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 10, 2020
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Those nurses who risked their lives wearing trash bags as protection in order to take care of coronavirus patients? Now they've tested positive. At least the trash bag companies are making a profit
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Arizona pizza parlor uses robots to deliver food, feed Sarah Connor
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
There are at least 116 references Trump has made in praise of his own Coronavirus response, and they're collected here for your viewing terror
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
We are doomed
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXLY Spokane)
 
 
 
Wife of astronaut indicted for lying about space crime. Odo is on the case
source: kxly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Proving once again that the Disney curse is real, former Disney star starts a shocking new life - as a nurse
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 09, 2020
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Extra £10,000 offered to "essential" employees working from home. Difficulty: MPs (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Chinese Communist Party disciplinary committee investigates coronavirus critic Ren Zhiqiang, and pay no attention to that Mandarin-speaking Dolores Umbridge running the show
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Saturday Night Live plans to suck from a distance this weekend
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
All 11 patients diagnosed with COVID-19 in Greenland have recovered, which means that someone just lost their game of Plague Inc
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
ESPN hit hardest by coronavirus, Gorilla Channel remains relatively unscathed
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
"It's basically like a mass casualty incident right now. It's almost a hopeless situation"
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Pentagon takes ABC to the woodshed for their assessment that Trump knew about the coronavirus outbreak in November: No, we didn't warn White House of COVID-19 in November
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(American Military News)
 
 
 
4th carrier hit with coronavirus. Time to watch Midway
source: americanmilitarynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
A massive wave of asinine is coming
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(41 Action News)
 
 
 
Kansas legislature votes to to test Easter's resurrection powers as a COVID-19 treatment
source: kshb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 08, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Special report that sheds light on the clusterfark that was going on behind the scenes in the months leading up to the coronavirus outbreak in the UK
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
French aircraft carrier Charles De Gaulle surrenders to Coronavirus. This is a nice change of pace from the mechanical breakdowns that usually send it back to port early
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NJ stores and supermarkets to start limiting customers to 50% of capacity. Which shouldn't be too hard as they won't be allowing customers without impossible-to-find face masks in the first place
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
The Coronavirus outbreak may hurt Khan's political future, possibly leading to exile on Ceti Alpha V
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Ivanka is working from home as a cam girl, "stoking competitive juices among execs to drive up their commitments"
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 07, 2020
(Fox 5 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Kittens explore Georgia aquarium during lockdown but prefer the box the aquarium came in
source: fox5atlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Posting post-it notes of silly observations to elicit a grin. Postponed Malone
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Law firms lay off associates due to lack of work, ergo NJ to allow 2020 law school graduates to be de facto attorneys and practice law without a license ad hoc as long as a respondeat superior is around. Caveat emptor
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
With nobody looking, they finally took off their pandanas during this pandamic and it was pandamonium
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 06, 2020
(Forbes)
 
 
 
This is not good
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Jarvis Cocker reading a bedtime story is the feel-good moment we need
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
The light Trump sees at the end of the tunnel is just the crematoriums running 24/7
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Fired commander of USS Theodore Roosevelt tests positive for COVID-19. In other news: Defense secretary Esper defends decision to have him fired, citing the high standards in this administration: "We hold leaders accountable for their actions"
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
COVID-19 is killing our next generation of doctors
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 05, 2020
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Chicago pizza parlor tests using ovens to make deep dish face shields. These provide more protection than those flimsy ones in NY
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
This pandemic may not kill you, but you'll likely end up fat, drunk, stoned and sexually perverted
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
$400 Million of the stimulus package was for election security. Aaaannd it's gone
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Scientists say sewage could reveal true scope of coronavirus outbreak. So now it's getting literally shiatty
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 04, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Poll: Most Americans believe stopping the coronavirus is a larger priority than saving the economy. Suck it job creators
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
This is more than a toilet paper shortage
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 03, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The FIRE movement: "financial independence, retire early. (and put your savings in the stock market.)" Ooops
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
We came to party rock Everybody its on Shots shots shots shots shots shots Shots shots shots shots shots Shots shots shots shots shots
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider (Australia))
 
 
 
Bill Gates is spending billions to get a head start on producing COVID-19 vaccines, which would more than offset all those viruses spread by Windows
source: businessinsider.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
President Trump put the full mental capacity of a toddler into his handling the corona virus pandemic. Toddlers everywhere offended by the comparison
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Pissed that the government is only giving you a lousy $1200? Sure you are, and wait 'til you see what the Japanese government is giving all THEIR citizens
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Sen. Kelly Loeffler gets the best stock tips, Part 3. She dumped her airline stocks a day before Trump's travel ban
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"Watchmen" proving more prophetic than usual
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
February: You must close your gym membership via certified mail. April: You must cancel your gym membership in person. Fark: All locations are closed and all employees are laid off
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Cardi B wants fans to know that she is "Okurrrrr"
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Andrew Cuomo slams Trump for his attempts to blame states for the Coronavirus pandemic
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
China bans eating pussy
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Chuck Schumer tells Trump to grow up and do his job, otherwise more people will die
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 02, 2020
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Add former Ohio Governor John Kasich to the growing list of GOP'ers who are outraged at the Infecter-in-Chief but are now out of office and can't do jack
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
UCONN's Husky mascot visits closed Mystic Aquarium, looks like he might want fish instead of steak
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Ask for help to save the crew on your aircraft carrier from COVID-19? You're fired
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Will clowns harvest fruit and vegetables? Will this make them taste funny?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Eric Holder has apparently become a woman
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
"We don't have to have toilet paper labeled in English," Miller laughed. "We know how to use it"
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
What happens when QAnon runs the trains
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 01, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Med alert. All remaining NYC paramedics without coronavirus report to battle stations
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Sorry, all you "essential workers" earning low wages in the UK. Coronavirus just stole your minimum wage hike, because it's more important for the job creators to make more profits
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Biden says, hey Trump buddy, wanna talk about this pandemic with a guy who's been a politician longer than you've had bad hair? I mean, I know a lot of stuff
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Holy frack
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Simple farmers. People of the land. The common clay of the Midwest. You know... morons
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Photographers capture life in NYC during the pandemic
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
You can catch coronavirus and you can catch a fish, but you can't catch coronavirus from a fish
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Ted Lieu blames Trump and Fox News for making the Coronavirus outbreak worse
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 31, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
NFL still plans to play full 16-game season; may simply delay it. If next year's Oscars can be on Valentine's Day, why not the Super Bowl on Easter?
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 32 Chicago)
 
 
 
Last week: Stop wearing masks they don't work - This week: Everyone should wear masks. This week: Don't wear gloves they don't work - Next week: Everyone should wear gloves
source: fox32chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Don Lemon and Chris Cuomo speak out against networks airing Trump's Coronavirus press briefing, calling them a "New Apprentice" setup
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Mass exodus seen as NJ Governor declares the state a knucklehead free zone
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
When this is all over America will have split into 5000 tiny kingdoms surrounded by armed guards and improvised barriers
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Amazon employee forgets that he's not in a union
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Remember how awesome that ESPN 1997-1998 Bulls documentary looked? It isn't done yet but the release date got pushed up to April 19th. In response, the original release month of June walks off the calendar before the official announcement
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
As India goes into lockdown huge crowds of unemployed daily-wage workers queue to get back to their villages
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 30, 2020
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Governor orders Sean Spicer and Dwayne Johnson to continue to work throughout the coronavirus outbreak as essential workers
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Not to worry anyone, but the Royal Navy is monitoring 'unusually high levels of activity' by Russian warships in English Channel
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Andrew Cuomo gets the all important Donald Trump endorsement for president
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Man refuses to let son back in house after Spring Break trip
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Mad Libs: Jamiroquai shares pandemic-themed cover of Bowie's 'Let's Dance'
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Lindsey Graham says Pelosi's comment on Trump is 'most shameful, disgusting statement by any politician in modern history.' Sleepy Joe, Crazy Bernie, Nervous Nancy, Pocohantas, Mini-Mike Bloomberg, Crooked Hillary, many others unavailable for comment
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Coronavirus has been deadlier on the US than the Afghan War
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Of course pool care and nail salons are considered essential businesses. This isn't Alabama, for god's sake
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 29, 2020
(Fox News)
 
 
 
WHO throws to WHAT then throws to I DON'T KNOW
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
June's Detroit Auto-show has been cancelled as FEMA has commandeered the TCF Center to convert it into a Covid-19 field hospital. But sure, this thing's gonna be done by Easter and everything will be back to normal
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Authorities announce latest Covid-19 victim: McDonald's All-Day Breakfast
source: cwdetroit.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Rich people: "Let's hide from COVID-19 in our deluxe luxury underground doomsday bunkers and party all night. No germ could surely reach us." Edgar Allan Poe: "Somebody hold my raven"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 28, 2020
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
♬ Hi ho, hi ho, return to work's a NO. We'll pay our peeps for three more weeks, hi ho, hi ho...♬
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Trump says there will be no escape from New York, at least until he finds himself trapped there
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The silver lining of coronavirus? It may save the planet
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
That's not a sequel. This is a sequel
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 27, 2020
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Republican governor crucifies Trump's plan to end the quarantines by Easter
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
No human virus can stop the constant flow of computer viruses. Those guys never go outside anyway
source: protocol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
A 19th-century solution to social distancing: a 6-foot hoop skirt
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
When Argentina offers to do something NICE for the Falklands, you know it's serious
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
↙⬅↖⬅↙ Free cat
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Brexiteers see Coronavirus as a benefit to Remainers (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
While they were still pretending there was no problem, China ordered a Chinese government-backed company to pillage Australia's supplies of masks, hand sanitizer, and antibacterial wipes and ship them to China
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
I tell you what this means, Norm -- No size restrictions and screw the limit
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
This is why we need the Defense Production Act used - now is not the time to wait for a 40% off coupon
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
How China Built a Twitter Propaganda Machine Then Let It Loose on Coronavirus
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 26, 2020
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Old & stale: cruise ships harboring coronavirus. New hotness: Carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt harboring coronavirus, 5000+ seamen samples to be tested
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
'On Tuesday, Jacqueline Miller put on her "protective suit," an inflatable dinosaur costume and medical gloves, to deliver seed starter kits to her neighbors and friends.'
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
We're not sure what the report says, but we're fairly certain the Red Sox did not deflate any balls
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Networks: "How long before we shut off Trump and start running 'Matlock' reruns?" *Click* "Your honor, mah client is innocent and ahm-a gonna prove it"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Attention profiteers, hoarders, and people too lazy to use soap: Purell is not proven to actually prevent COVID-19 and other infections
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer: This is America dammit, we're in a crisis over here
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Hourly workers don't count to jobless claim totals
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Australia bans hair appointments longer than 30 minutes, rescinds order after backlash
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
China's factories to its workers: "Welcome back. You're fired"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Stewie and Brian Griffin offer Coronavirus lifestyle hacks
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider Singapore)
 
 
 
Hobby Lobby said Jesus told them to stay open, so now they are cutting workers' pay and denying them all sick leave just like Jesus would do
source: businessinsider.sg   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Philadelphia Inquirer)
 
 
 
Unemployment claims for last week hit 540,000, a level last seen during the Great Recession. And that's just from Pennsylvania
source: inquirer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
38,000 might lose their jobs because of a national shutdown
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
NetF@#ks
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
This was the best the Democratic Party could do?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
In the past 2 years, the Trump administration cut CDC staff inside China by 2/3
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 25, 2020
(Foreign Policy)
 
 
 
The coronavirus is the worst intelligence failure in US history. And it's all the fault of one man
source: foreignpolicy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
"I don't know how to ask this without sounding like a smart ass, but do you understand how bad (it looks) to have probably the wealthiest person in the Senate potentially holding up this bill for a couple hundreds bucks?" Tag for reporter [5:30 mark]
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Italian priest accidentally live streams mass with Facebook AR filters active, causing him to appear in various disguises. Cartoon hilarity ensues
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Whelp, Trump and Ron DeSantis have firmly cemented their legacies as "that one-term idiot who got SO MANY Americans killed"
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
To most people Dr. Anthony Fauci is a national hero and the calm voice of reason in a national crisis, but the right wing media machine is already calling him "A Deep-State Hillary Clinton-loving stooge," to prepare the base for his eventual firing
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
How is the USA dealing with the coronavirus outbreak you ask? Depends on which one of the two "US of A"s you're talking about?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Everybody wants a coronavirus mask, just not like this (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Clemson QB Trevor Lawrence holds fundraiser for victims of coronavirus and health care workers. NCAA: "That's a violation, you know, and...we're going to waive the rules for fundraisers this year"
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Journal (Ireland))
 
 
 
Ireland nationalizes all private hospitals to deal with the coronavirus outbreak and will treat patients for free
source: thejournal.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 24, 2020
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Declaring Florida a disaster area would be redundant
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Burger King employees: "We demand hazard pay." Burger King franchisee: "We have a better idea. We're cutting your wages by 10%. Good luck finding another job...Muahahahaaa"
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Stanton's totally ready to play, although nowadays he's going to see the same amount of game action as Ruth, Gehrig and DiMaggio
source: wfan.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel News Asia)
 
 
 
Turns out Russia having such a low Coronavirus outbreak was all smoke and mirrors as Fearless Leader walks Moscow streets in full body hazmat suit and the Kremlin warns the numbers are going to rise sharply
source: channelnewsasia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
The following NYC subway lines are not running due to coronavirus .... it might be quicker if they listed what is still running
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
To encourage people not to leave their homes, Welsh town deploys a Dalek to patrol the streets
source: caerphilly.observer   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
What will help children through these difficult times? A teddy bear hunt, that's what
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Remember when Trump said renters would be safe from eviction during the pandemic? Um yeah, about that
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 23, 2020
(Truth or Fiction)
 
 
 
These photos of the Spanish Legion - which, contrary to recent social media posts, have nothing to do with a COVID-19 lockdown - are relevant to my interests
source: truthorfiction.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
50 Cent thinks he'll be at least 75 Cent by the time this quarantine is over
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
So, have you head about the coronavirus outbreak in China? No, not that one, the NEW one? It's more of a sequel than a re-imagining
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Walmart increasing minimum wage--for warehouse workers
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Exasperated PM Trudeau considering cracking down on isolation-defiers using the 1988 Sorry, Not Sorry Act
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
'Weird Al' Yankovic pokes fun at Madonna's own 'Vogue' coronavirus parody about fried fish
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
WHO says Coronavirus has hit nearly every nation on earth. WHO, I don't know, dnrtfa. Could be Roger Daltry maybe or that other guy
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NJ Governor about to take residents not abiding by his stay-at-home order to the socially distant woodshed
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Coronavirus cases in Florida spiked by 16% and the average incubation period is 5-6 days. What happened in Florida 6 days ago?
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Iran about to find out you can't appeal to a person's decency if it doesn't exist
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Wondering if you are a covidiot? Well if you have to ask
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Movie theaters beginning to reopen in China
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
States are competing against the federal government for medical supplies and it's driving up prices
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Truck drivers are the only thing preventing chaos. So flash one today, or something
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Remember how Impeachment was going to be THE issue of the 2020 House races and the GOP couldn't wait to use it to hammer vulnerable Democrats in "purple" districts? It seems something big has happened since then, and nobody gives a fark anymore
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UK: "There's half a centimetre of snow. SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING." Also UK: "There's a deadly virus sweeping the population. Let's all go & climb mountains in Wales"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump may not have tested positive for COVID-19 yet but some of those protecting him have
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UK supermarket: "Please respect that the first grocery shopping hour is reserved for the fatigued, overworked NHS staff." UK general public: "THIS IS SPARTA"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
U.S. Surgeon General says its going to get bad this week. Plans to reissue this statement for every week going forward for the foreseeable future
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTSM)
 
 
 
A teacher helps redefine a "drive-by" in these uncertain times
source: ktsm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 22, 2020
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Trump's acting head of Homeland Security: We're not having an impending national shutdown, it's part of a disinformation campaign. Maybe it's Russia
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Australian Football League)
 
 
 
The Australian Football League's decision to press on with their season gets tackled after one week
source: afl.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Death panels are coming?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Fifth member of Congress possibly bitten by the stock dump outbreak monkey
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 21, 2020
(Red Cross)
 
 
 
We all need to take care of each other, so after fighting the marauding hoards for TP and sanitizer, before you turn your warwag toward home and take off the chaps, stop by the Red Cross to donate as their supply is getting critically low
source: redcross.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Can't make your mortgage payments because you're out of work? Good news (maybe)
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Canceled your trip to the Baseball Hall of Fame due to coronavirus? Their online collection may make up for it
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 20, 2020
(USA Today)
 
 
 
While this won't necessarily affect any Farkers, it seems stores are running out of exercise equipment as people are stuck at home
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Landlord drops rent to $100 for next months rent. Tells tenants to spend the difference at local businesses. This is how it's done
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
The anesthesiologist Trump turned into a star
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Donald Trump admits a lack of Covid-19 preparedness, but only in regard to dealing with the media
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The coronavirus is not really Trump's fault, but the autocratic political culture that propped up his administration has left the nation woefully unprepared for crisis like this
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Coronavirus is because of the gays. New and just as stupid: Coronavirus is because we're eating 'biblically unclean food'
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Anti-Trump Republicans release an ad documenting the obvious
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago-area strip club tried to operate during the Coronavirus outbreak but no customers showed up
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: