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headlines found matching 'children'
Mon May 25, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Not another Spider-Man origin story
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The baby formerly known as X Æ A-12
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Kentucky Flu-Klux-Klan protesters hung an effigy of Governor Beshear outside his home. While he was present. Along with his wife and children
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAE Charlotte)
 
 
 
Meet Korona Karen's braying jackass of a husband, Terroristic Threat Todd
source: wfae.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
California heat wave to increase risk of death from... hypothermia?
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter Donald Trump)
 
 
 
Is our children learning much very good
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
EU privacy laws intended to regulate Facebook et al used to stop a grandmother posting online images of her grandchildren
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 24, 2020
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
But the strep came back, the very next day, yes the strep came back, it just wouldn't stay away
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 23, 2020
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Last unwitting Nazi finally dies at Moscow Zoo (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
While you freak out, panic drink, and gnaw your fingernails to their nubs, it's the children who are totally chill living in a pandemic
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 22, 2020
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Thank you Mario. But our princess is in another castle
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Health and human services secretary: Be boostrappy and help the economy because depression from being unemployed can kill you. Subby: Bootstrappy is already your RX for mental health, choadbro
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hindu)
 
 
 
Reprimand your drunk brother for creating a ruckus? Serious business
source: thehindu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 21, 2020
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Fapping in station cars to child pornography is no way to cover the news Lester
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In rare GOOD Covid news, the CDC has a very effective treatment for the version killing kids (MIS-C). Of a test group of 33, the mortality rate was 0 percent, and 82 percent had been discharged from the hospital
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Intel reports have to be dumbed down to a short picture books for children before the President of the United States of America will "read" them. Reading is hard
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 20, 2020
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
No Philly Phanatic allowed? Screw that, just cancel the damn 2020 MLB season
source: 94wip.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Roe v. Paid
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Mary Kate Olsen may have moved on from the show that made her famous, but her marriage ended over the lack of a full house
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Police would like to remind you that the sex offender registry is not for vigilante justice
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Someone earned themselves a special hell by destroying a special needs playground. A special hell
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 19, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
2-year-old boy that was abducted is found safe and unharmed. Fark:: 32-years later
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Little kids +little animals = magic
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Is what they're now calling the mystery coronavirus-related illness showing up in kids
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Realizing that there is nothing they can release that will shock Trump supporters, law firm hackers turn their ransom attention towards Madonna. Oh those sweet innocent children of summer
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
The French find out the hard way that kids are not the best at keeping themselves clean
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Sorry, eh
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
No sir, giving your toddler marijuana will not help the child's autism
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hull Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In the next module of your home-schooling work book, in your own words, define these five categories of pornography
source: hulldailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Woman's desire to go topless outside her home has unintended consequence of raising neighborhood property values
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
This 7-year old girl just wants the tooth fairy to be safe during the coronavirus pandemic
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 18, 2020
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
NYC is likely to start reopening in early June. Mayor deBlasio hoping tourists will come and visit to look at dark theaters, closed museums, out of business restaurants and stores, and fenced off parks
source: 1010wins.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
911, what's the emergency? There are two small children playing in an empty, but open, park with their father. This is going to be such a fun summer
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Barry Bennell busted for buggery, bending-over, banging boy's bums
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 16, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
It was like Game of Thrones, but with Penguins. And Disney copyright lawyers
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
UK teachers: "Don't reopen schools." School leaders: "Don't reopen schools." Doctors: "Don't reopen schools." Government: "Stop squabbling between yourselves so we can settle on a plan to reopen schools"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you don't notice all the different things growing when you go for a walk, you suffer from a condition known as plant blindness
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 15, 2020
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
U.S. Customs and Border Protection seized more than 86,000 counterfeit Pokemon. They certainty caught them all
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Three year old child diagnosed with Kawasaki after contracting COVID-19; will face an uphill battle of ridicule by Harley kids who shame him for buying foreign
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
So kids having heart attacks is what we have to look forward to. Sure there's an R.E.M. song we could use as reference but we won't
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 14, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I never knew bible study was so "Why don't you have a seat right over there?"
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
No idea why this is in the news right now, but Kim Jong Un was into some interesting porn as a teenager (possible NSFW content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
The cure for coronavirus myths is science. Listen to it. Or else
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 13, 2020
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Surely these French nursery school children sitting alone in their own playground 'isolation sections' will not surrender once the bouncy ball goes bouncing through their school yard
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Assault with a deadly bouquet
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
I don't care for this Three Stooges reboot
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
With county fairs off, farm kids are live stocking their cows and sheep
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Utah -- Stay Safe, Stay Home, Keep Up The Bigamy
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 12, 2020
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Dr. Fauci hits back at Rand Paul like a neighbor with a landscaping grudge
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
David Lynch is our new Bizarro World weatherman
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Woman spends two nights in hospital with pneumonia in early March but tested negative for Covid19. Got better and went about her business. Then she recently got an antibody test. Whoops
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Argus (UK))
 
 
 
UK lockdown transforms Brighton garden into a shoe magnet
source: theargus.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
IRS: Look People, you will get your "emergency" stimulus check, eventually, and it might be less than you were expecting, but you'll just have to deal with it as we're awfully busy delivering these pallets of cash to Fortune 500 companies
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 11, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
Man who wanted to fight his wife with sword demands she get a psychological evaluation
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Matt Lucas gives the UK the speech they needed
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
TV chef and arrogant douchenozzle extraordinaire Gordon Ramsay continues to flaunt all UK lockdown rules by going fishing and showing off his catch on Instagram for the minions to get hangry at
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Having trouble with your Shakespeare homework? Why not ask Patrick Stewart, Tamsin Greig, or David Tennant for help...for real?
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 10, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Health officials say if you really want to show love to your mom on Mother's Day, just stay the fark home
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ranker)
 
 
 
Vintage snacks from the 90s. Subby would give their soul, body and unborn children just to eat Ouch Bubble Gum again
source: ranker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Turns out when you maroon school-age children on an island, they don't go Lord of the Flies, but engage in sensible generous action. Piggy approves
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 08, 2020
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
If these are the restrictions you need to impose in order to reopen schools, maybe you are trying to reopen them too early
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Sun, I am disappoint
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
What's your kid's lamest excuse for not eating something you fix them? Here's a whole list of lame excuses from some inventive rugrats
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Doctors in Paris identify first French man who surrendered to Covid-19
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Remember that weird name Elon Musk and Grimes gave their child? Surprise, the state of California won't allow it
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 07, 2020
(Spin Magazine)
 
 
 
Need some age-appropriate books for your child to read? There's Judy Blume, Beverley Cleary, Guns N Roses, Maurice Sendak...wait, WHAT?
source: spin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Is it a terrible idea to send your child to summer camp this year?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Some anti-vaxers realize they don't want the dumbass tag anymore
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"How am I supposed to motivate my children to do their homework when school is now pass-fail?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Acolytes of FREEDUMB, Trump, and Nurgle ask you to boycott Costco for forcing shoppers to wear masks while picking up a month's supply of toilet paper and $5 chicken. Those masks will prevent you from getting enough oxygen, claimed one
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 06, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"It's OK to Not Be a Perfect Quarantine Employee." Already waaaaaay ahead of you, NY Times writer
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Half of fathers think they're doing most of the homeschooling. 3% of mothers agree
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Well now we know why the Democrats will win in a landslide in November, the Republicans are nearly three times more likely to refuse the COVID vaccine
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Ryan Reynolds has lost all sense of temporality, wonders if we're in year five of quarantine
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Should these parents be mocked for naming their kids after their favorite band members? Maybe
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
TV viewers outraged by advert showing squirrel "humping" can of deodorant. That's just nuts
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 05, 2020
(Nerdist)
 
 
 
Now, THIS is a reason to stay home and in bed, even if you can go back to work
source: nerdist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago family says they filmed a cougar in their backyard. Most people just take their wine bottle and point them back to their own home
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Sometimes, small children manage to ask the most important questions, in a way that makes us question everything
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 04, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Stinky Cat's US extradition case to resume in September
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
President Tanzania questions Covid-19 test kits, preferring to rely on herbal treatments promoted by President Madagascar who promises they're effective against all diseases. It's true, he says, they shut down everything
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Think childcare is difficult, even in better times? Imagine having 25% fewer daycare centers
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
Morning Joe host Joe Scarborough responds to Trump tweet, tells him he's not well and should have VP Pence fill in for him while he gets himself checked out by mental health experts
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comic Sands)
 
 
 
Mother ensures her child will never trust her again
source: comicsands.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Right on, Smart Self-aware Person, right on
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
The college cost bubble is starting to burst
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Kroger donates 200,000 gallons of milk to food banks. Hopefully, along with jars or jugs or something
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Before space-aged plastic Lego bricks we had Lincoln logs - made out of real wood. Read about the history of this pioneering toy before moseying out to the general store/malt shop/whatever
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 03, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
There's sidewalk artists, there's graffito muralists, and then there's this Alpine artist. Subby's not usually susceptible to dust. Maybe it's the 'rona
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
"We don't get paid enough to deal with this"
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My boyfriend's children chew incredibly loud and it drives me crazy. It's becoming a deal-breaker. I'm not their mom; how do I address their bellicose table manners?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Due to the lock down, Christians are developing an addiction to porn. Or maybe they just want to hear OH GOD, OH GOD repeated over and over
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 02, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Wuhan becomes the top tourist destination for Chinese travelers, proving once again the two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
During quarantine you should take your children camping so they get used to sleeping in tents in case society unravels completely in the upcoming months
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kidspot)
 
 
 
It's the best bag of dirt since a bag of dirt
source: kidspot.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 01, 2020
(WokeSloth)
 
 
 
Today's AITA: Woman given up at birth contacts birth parents against their wishes. Was she wrong? Should she not have done that?
source: wokesloth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Half of the rice in the UK rice exceeds limits on arsenic for children. How do you go with the grain on this?
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Brenda's Beaver Need a Barber, a children's classic
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
It took 60 seconds for someone to debunk Tucker Carlson's lies on Coronavirus in children on his own show
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"A handful of kids have developed dangerous inflammation around the heart and other organs. It's similar to a rare condition called Kawasaki disease." Yamaha, Honda, Suzuki diseases unavailable for comment
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Super)
 
 
 
Got a spare hour? Sit back and enjoy a guided tour of all the cars the Peterson Museum has stashed in their vault downstairs
source: petersen.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 30, 2020
(Grape japan)
 
 
 
Teleworking Japanese mom was so frazzled, she used polite language with her children, casual slanguage with her boss and clients. If you've done the same, take a bow - a deep bow
source: grapee.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Jada Pinkett Smith on quarantine with Will Smith: "[we] are in the process of him [learning] to love himself, me [learning] to love myself and us building a friendship." So, it's anger, masturbation, and separate bedrooms like normal folks, then?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hello! Magazine)
 
 
 
Article full of Getty Images and other licensed pictures contains no royalty-free images
source: hellomagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today is National Honesty Day, so go ahead and tell us all something true here
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Is it acceptable to have my children do their homework in bed? Or any room in the house?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Do you like to shop at Costco? Better have your mask ready
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 29, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The rain in Spain may fall mainly on the plain, but the bleach on the beach causes an angry speech
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Boris Johnson announces number of children increased from ? to ?+1
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSLS Virginia)
 
 
 
Mom writes children's book to explain COVID-19 pandemic to little ones, complete with 20-second hand-washing song, coloring book pages, how to bury Grandma in backyard sandbox
source: wsls.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Relax, your kids will have it so much easier in the 2050 pandemic quarantine
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for all that sweet, sweet inheritance money being battled in court
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 28, 2020
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Illinois rule means family can only legally be in their boat when it's in their garage. No word on status of motorboating, man in canoe
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"Attention people: Please stop drinking hand sanitizer." Sincerely, the FDA
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Dear Deidre: My 7-year-old is crying endlessly over idea that his beloved granddads could die of coronavirus. Since he is 100 percent correct, what can I possibly say to settle him down, other than assuring him they are both self-isolating?
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CDC: "relatively few children with COVID-19 are hospitalized" Parents: "So they are safe?" COVID: "Not so fast"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 27, 2020
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Juvenile correctional centers are now the latest Covid-19 hotspots
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
NBC News chief pens op-ed calling out Trump, the guy he has bent over backwards for 40 plus months, for his attacks on the media. His attacks on the handicapped, women, trans soldiers, veterans, Muslims, Latinos, children and decency still ok apparently
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Providence Journal)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass endangered golden lion tamarin enjoys fingering her tiny Angus
source: providencejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Kim Jong-un's disappearance explained - he was standing behind his invisible kids (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comic Sands)
 
 
 
Mom has ten kids in ten years despite having only one date with her husband a year. I guess we know what happens that night
source: comicsands.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAVY Virginia)
 
 
 
Anti-vaccine activist who was arrested after she repeatedly refused orders by police to leave a playground that had been closed because of the pandemic has apologized, meaning six more weeks of quarantine
source: wavy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
You made the old man cry. There, are you punks happy now? Now get of his damn lawn
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 26, 2020
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
School board votes to remove, I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, Invisible Man, What They Carried, The Great Gatsby and Catch-22 from curriculum. The Bible as History and Literature still fine
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(E! Online)
 
 
 
Jay Cutler's marriage has ended with an interception
source: eonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Spanish children finally get to venture outdoors for first time in six weeks. "I never thought I would miss school but I really miss it," said that one kid who always reminds the teacher about tonight's homework
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Angelina Jolie says Parents should just be honest with the kids .... That's great, guess Angelina won't be letting subby sneak in again tonight
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 25, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Everybody Dance Now
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
How can we reopen everything but schools?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 24, 2020
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
On the day after Donald Trump suggested mainlining bleach and sticking UV rays where the sun don't shine, it's time to look back at the time when the most controversial medical advice coming out of the White House was to eat vegetables and exercise
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
'Boredom is good for kids' says a grown-up who's clearly never seen what they can do with a box of crayons, 5 minutes, and the dining room wall
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Helpline set up for parents who realized they can't do a better job than teachers after all
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Kentuckians are poisoning themselves as they battle Covid-19 by inhaling toxic fumes from cleaners. It's a good thing no one gave them the idea to inject disinfectants instead
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Pizzagater, who tried to burn down a restaurant to save imaginary victims of child sexual trafficking, sentenced to 4 years in federal prison
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Back to the Future screenwriter finally explains why George and Lorraine don't remember Calvin Klein
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 23, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
10 Doctor Who stars reunite for BBC charity show. Davros surrenders
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Neandertals had a thing for cougars
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man jailed for yelling racist abuse at nursery children, attacking school crossing guard with his own stick. Police quote: he "finished off a busy day by smearing his own faeces across the entire cell", which had to be "professionally cleaned"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Thor says his wife doesn't allow his hammer in the house. Puny god
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
With the backing of each one of their 4,781 Twitter followers, One Million Moms rails against a cartoon duck having two cartoon duck dads
source: pride.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
He likes it when you call him Big Poppa
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Kids' drawings from lockdown across the world show what they collectively miss the most - friends, outside, and their Nanas and Papas
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
There's gold in them thar Hills... Well, more specifically there's money to be made selling the Free Lunches that Hillsborough School District is handing out
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 22, 2020
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Covid toes now a thing
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Myth: during the pandemic, bored teens want to meet up with you for sex. Reality: of course they're cops
source: restonnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Us Weekly)
 
 
 
Hey she's wearing underwear, you gotta problem with that there the there that?
source: usmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 21, 2020
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Journalist Jeff Weiner reports Austin Gillespie aka Augutus Sol Invictus ordered his wife to bring their kids to Dickson Azalea Park ― "or else." What a cock
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you can read, thank a teacher. If you can find something to read, thank a librarian, and library workers too. It's National Library Workers Day
source: ala-apa.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Member of Boyzone discovers that no matter what they tell you, being stuck in a house with your wife can lead to struggles and separation
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRGV Rio Grande)
 
 
 
Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick: "There are more important things than living." You first asshole
source: krgv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Bad: You have to isolate in a formerly vacant house. Worse: Bees
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Doctor who came out of retirement to help amid COVID-19 pandemic develops illness himself
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
This is why Americans can't have nice things
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Distance learning is failing our children
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 20, 2020
(Messy Nessy Chic)
 
 
 
More cool colorful shiate found while randomly perusing the internet tubes
source: messynessychic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Will the Coronavirus Quarantine mess your children up for life?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 19, 2020
(Fox2 Detroit)
 
 
 
OBGYN delivers four puppies; onlookers ask, "Where do babies come from?"
source: fox2detroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
"Married With Children" debuted 33 years ago. You read this headline while sitting on a sofa with one hand wedged down your pants
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
It's time to admit Animal Crossing is a dumb, boring game for children
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 18, 2020
(Axios)
 
 
 
One good thing about the Coronavirus: It finally proved that women are essential
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pink News UK)
 
 
 
Ark Encounter captain Ken Ham rages about gay ducks, woo-ooo
source: pinknews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 17, 2020
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Hey Bud, what's your problem?
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Kathryn Hahn's kids recreate Glengarry Glen Ross with American Girl dolls
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "I want my kids to get coronavirus - and you should too"
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Used to getting their own way, boomers don't like being told they have to sacrifice like their parents and grandparents did or their children and grandchildren do
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"I have two teenagers, a 14-year-old boy and a 16-year-old girl. In normal life, my daughter is a rock star; she also has severe control issues. My son has ADHD and is a hot mess. In quarantine, he's Mr. Let-it-Go, she's in panic mode. What do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
I hate to defend Dr. Oz, but I'm a Slate author as well as an attention whore, and so I must
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Mother gives birth to twins, a month after giving birth to her first baby
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trust.org)
 
 
 
Australia admits coronavirus restrictions may last for a year
source: news.trust.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 16, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Sʞǝǝʍ ǝɹoɯ ɹnoɟ ɹoɟ ʇɥɓᴉɹ ʇᴉ ɓuᴉop ǝɹˌʎǝɥꓕ
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Famed quack Dr. Oz, who has the ear of the President, makes the case for re-opening "appetizing" schools because *ONLY* 2-3% of children might die
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
A Massachusetts man has been arrested for allegedly trying to blow up a Jewish assisted living residence. He's being held on attempted arson charges and currently waits appointment to the Trump administration
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Family recreates fifteen hour flight from the comfort of their living room. Bonus: No guitars got broken
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Reporter who has obviously not been locked in his house for the last four weeks with his wife and children asks NJ Governor why liquor stores are essential but churches are not
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Her Empress Ivanka cannot be bothered to abide by personal travel restrictions put in place for the unwashed hordes
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 15, 2020
(My Panhandle)
 
 
 
Two Florida Panhandle doctors arrested for trying to battle dangerous infestation that is destroying the country
source: mypanhandle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Someone leaves newborn baby at apartment complex. Every year for the past three years. All three babies are full siblings. Tag says it all
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
My biggest takeaway from reading this article is that I'm bored of being stuck inside because of having read this article
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Denmark has decided to re-open its schools, apparently figuring the horns on the helmets the kids wear will give then enough natural "social distance" to keep them safe
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Note to Self: When driving around with an active warrant, drugs, a gun and 4 kids in your car don't start a high speed chase with State Troopers
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
In these dark times we all struggle to get the groceries we need but we can die happy knowing that Prince John James, Prince Tyson Fury II and Prince Adonis Amazia didn't have to go without this easter weekend (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 14, 2020
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
Couple celebrates 62 years of marriage, 50 years of social distancing from each other
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Kudos to Pizza Hut for supporting education and distance learning, but perhaps pizza is not the perfect reward for kids trapped inside with limited exercise?
source: foodsided.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(grape Japan)
 
 
 
One underrated risk of telecommuting: suffocation by five needy cats
source: grapee.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Earlier pandemic resulted in the game Candy Land. So, what boring game will come out of coronavirus?
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My pessimism went away once I began parenting in the pandemic apocalypse"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Jackals are reappearing in Tel Aviv. This is not an allegory or repeat from 125 BC
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Meanwhile at the Guardian: Right, for this week's column we need a stock photo of a woman who's thinking about banging her brother-in-law during 'rona lockdown
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Florida's Surgeon General has now been quarantined from Governor DeSantis' cabinet
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
1) It's bad form to call your knight "my horsey guy"
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ghosts enforce coronavirus restrictions in Indonesian village. In other news, they don't have Scooby Doo in Indonesia
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 13, 2020
(Central Maine)
 
 
 
This is the plot to most summer camp movies. All we need now is Camp Tigerclaw, boobies, and Old Man Johnson
source: centralmaine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Internal Revenue Service)
 
 
 
If the IRS doesn't have your direct deposit info because you've not filed recently, or always had to pay you can enter your direct deposit info on their website
source: irs.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Even Mitch McConnell's three daughters hate his guts
source: theslot.jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Tavaris Jackson killed in a Carvaris crash
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
US Senate takes up legislation to criminalize encryption under the guise of protecting the children
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Well, they are not going to be the "Flying Dutchman" but the 14-17 year olds that were supposed to sail the Caribbean and fly home, are now the "Ocean Warriors" sailing their way back home
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 12, 2020
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
This is the mom we all need
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
So on one of the most religious holidays of the Christian calendar, why do so many people "celebrate" by making a small furry woodland creature the focus of the day?
source: goodhousekeeping.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Although Julian Assange was isolated and persecuted while holed up in an Ecuadorian embassy, he certainly wasn't celibate
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Come see the violence inherent in the system as UK Police go door to door searching for young children
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 11, 2020
(Chattanooga Pulse)
 
 
 
What do you get when you combine bananas, popcorn, strawberries, tuna (including the water in the can), Brussels sprouts, creamed corn, bread, black beans, mayonnaise, and imitation butter?
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
After the show ended, life never really got better for the cast of "Alf"
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 10, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
Indian badminton star calls out national sports TV network for airing classic cricket matches 24/7, asks them to mix in some badminton and other sports to protect children from cruel and unusual punishment
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Happy days are here again
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Sappy: Walking your daughter down the aisle on her wedding day. Sad: Realizing you won't be able to because you're dying from lung disease. Spiffy: Staging the moment so you'll both have the memories. Creepy: Dude, your daughter is only 10
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Should we teach children about quantum computing? Yes and no
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
The true concern Republican Christians have? Free porn
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
🌈
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 09, 2020
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Let's check in on the first state to legalize recreational marijuana and see how they're handling the quarantine
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
The latest thing Josh Hamilton abused: A) Heroin B) His daughter C) Cocai... Dude, WTF?
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 08, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
First no toilet paper....now a potential bacon shortage
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Here's a great free digital book to help your kids understand Coronavirus
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Your stimulus check could arrive this week, so give a heads up to your virtual hookers and blow suppliers
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Should your child be masked for the duration of the crisis?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 07, 2020
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Alanis Morissette in "home schooling" during coronavirus, says kids should pick their own topics. That's how it should work. So far, they've gotten top grades in the Disney Channel
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
I want people to know that being stung by an ass can cause terrible pain. Sorry excuse me, stung by an asp
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Centers for Disease Control)
 
 
 
As of today, more Americans have now died from COVID-19 than died in the 2009 swine flu pandemic - which started in the US. Thanks, Obama
source: cdc.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Say, do you like your French women a little bit plump?
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 06, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Not only did South Korea show the world the benefits of mass testing for Covid-19 but is also showing the world what happens when you let down your guard
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Four ways you can help your homebound child deal with his or her anxiety
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Forrest Compton, Gomer Pyle's colonel, has died at 94 from Coronavrius complications
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 05, 2020
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Noel Gallagher says he's been panic-buying booze to cope with the Coronavirus pandemic lockdown
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Cops break up Pink Floyd cover band lawn party. Suspects to be charged with violating quarantine and being a Pink Floyd cover band
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 04, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in other news, Lori Loughlin is still an idiot
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(East Bay Times)
 
 
 
Dear Amy: My dear sister eats meat regularly with her husband. I've advised her to stop, but she won't. Dear Vegan: You seem to have advocated for your point of view, over and over. Your sister has reacted politely by respecting your dietary choices
source: eastbaytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Hobby Lobby confirms their evilness
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 03, 2020
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
Little girl tries very hard to like and praise a dish prepared by her mother only to be defeated by her body's natural reaction to the food
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Disney changes some scenes in Lily & Stitch so children won't impersonate a girl adopting an alien pretending to be a dog
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Wu-Tang Financial diversifying their charitable donations
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 02, 2020
(CBC)
 
 
 
Nova Scotia grocery store receives anonymous cash donation from the community to help staff through the crisis, staff decides to pay it forward and use the money to buy groceries for senior citizens
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Since the season's going to be cancelled anyway, Yankees starting pitcher Masahiro Tanaka sees no reason to hang out in a third world hell-hole while the Coronavirus is raging, takes his family and leaves FL to go back to Japan
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Mark Wahlberg's daughter misses class in school, so she gets a makeup session (w/ video)
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
"I'm sorry to tell you this, but along with coronavirus, you also have a rare brain condition." "Well, at least I don't have coronavirus"
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Mommy bloggers horrified that their snowflake spawn are practicing CPR on their dollies and inventing games like "CoronaBall". Skipping vaccines because they contain chemicals still OK
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
A friend admits - Michael Jackson's relationship with children was "weird", water - very wet, fire - hot
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 01, 2020
(Pink News UK)
 
 
 
Jonathan Van Ness reads his children's book about a non-binary guinea pig for bored kids stuck at home
source: pinknews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
CBC is running feel-good stories from before the Great Quarantine. Since this is Fark, you probably know where this is going. Warning : giant snow penis for anyone unlucky enough to still be at work
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Study shows that we should abandon our children because they're dirty little, asymptomatic coronavirus spreaders. OK, maybe that's my take on it
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
How you can go grocery shopping every two weeks and not hoard. I mean not you, it's those other people that are the problem. Right, America?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Photographers capture life in NYC during the pandemic
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 31, 2020
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Renowned neurosurgeon who separated conjoined twins dies from complications of COVID-19
source: wgntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Civil Rights Movement)
 
 
 
New Jersey couple charged with child endangerment after hosting a Coronavirus Party where over forty morons showed up
source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nashville Scene)
 
 
 
Dolly Parton will now read y'all to sleep
source: nashvillescene.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 30, 2020
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Leave it to Beaver: Coronavirus is bringing back the 1950's housewife
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Drug sniffing dogs. New hotness: Child porn sniffing dogs
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 29, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Let's see how the country-wide shutdown is going in India
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Being stopped by the police is stressful enough. Then there's this guy
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 28, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
Here's a heartwarming story about kids helping elderly people during the pandemic. But since this is Fark, look at the pic and see why we're all going to die
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 27, 2020
(USA Today)
 
 
 
High school wrestler breaches social distancing to stop a kidnapping
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Today's Corona-cabin fever domestic dispute has a little bit of everything. Five kids, two idiot parents, one shot fired, one panic attack, a "Come at me bro", one bitten deputy sheriff, one pepper sprayed dog, and a "Do you know who I am?"
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
In anticlimactic news, the world's top condom producer is forced to shut down, as staff shortages left them overstretched
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trust.org)
 
 
 
Prepare for the Corona Baby Boom, which is not what you call that one spring break that resulted in the bundle of joy you've been stuck with for two weeks now
source: news.trust.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Evangeline Lilly's agent wants you to know she apologizes for ''arrogant'' Coronavirus comments and wants to work again in the future
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Please send snacks. Yes, SNACKS this time
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 26, 2020
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Is it okay to relax screen-time rules?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Rep. Massie with the cockblock
source: amp.courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Yummy snacks to please kids AND Mom - nudge-nudge wink-wink - I've been isolated for too long, man
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Our fantastic health care system in the US is forcing hard choices for COVID-19 victims. Do they go to the hospital and face crippling bills or do they die at home?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My spouse and I are both working from home during quarantine; our 3 and 4 year-old children are with us. Their preschool expects us to keep them on the same schedule. Is this even feasible?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Speaking on behalf of the United States of America Mr. Beck, we accept your offer
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 25, 2020
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Why does the coronavirus spare most children? Here comes the science
source: nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guitar World)
 
 
 
A homeless combat vet had his Epiphone Les Paul destroyed by another homeless person. Guitar Youtuber Jared Dines got word, and, the video tells the rest of the story
source: guitarworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RTHK News, Hong Kong)
 
 
 
Here comes the second wave
source: news.rthk.hk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Modern motherhood is a lie--exposed by the Coronavirus
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Tell me what's left in your pantry, and some farker is bound to know something you can make with it. Difficulty hand sanitizer and toilet paper are inedible no matter how you combine them
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Kevin Hard and his wife announce he won't be the smallest thing in their home for once
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Thanks to the pandemic we have more time to cook, we sit down for every meal, the children can help prepare the plates, and we get to use all those marvelous cooking equipment that normally just collect dust in the cabinets
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 24, 2020
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
"No...HE is your father." Darth Vader-mask-wearing judge as he uses the Force to grant Star Wars-obsessed boy's adoption to new parents. Lightsaber battle ensues in court room
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
What will help children through these difficult times? A teddy bear hunt, that's what
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Turns out coronavirus can be harmful to pets after all: Dog sprains tail from too much wagging because his human friend is home all the time
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Hey grandparents, Republicans want you to expose yourselves to the virus so that rich people can keep their money
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 23, 2020
(Fatherly)
 
 
 
In this period of working from home the "BBC Dad" is not a standard we should aspire to
source: fatherly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
People diagnosed with Covid-19 want you to know these 8 things. Tl;dr you can guess all of them: it sucks, don't watch the news, quit hoarding, etc
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTSM)
 
 
 
A teacher helps redefine a "drive-by" in these uncertain times
source: ktsm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 22, 2020
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My husband and I are in our late 20s, married for 3 years; he told me recently he doesn't want kids and has legitimate reasons I won't share. It's emotionally devastating; how can I get over something I should have asked about before we married?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australia shuts down their pubs. If there was ever a sign of the end times, this is it
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Jim Henson's family has some creative fun for your kids: how to make a Muppet and a Puppet Theater. It Ain't Easy Being Quarantined
source: jimhensonsfamilyhub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Since you've got some spare time these days, here are where to stream your favorite vintage sitcoms
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 20, 2020
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
This pandemic is brought to by the letters C, V, D, and the number 19
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
With Sophie Trudeau in isolation, Justin gets to live the sitcom premise of running a country while parenting three young children in isolation
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Burger King to offer free kids meals, diarrhea, amidst coronavirus shutdown
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
Never too late to be true to yourself. 100 year old actor comes out
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Animal Crossing)
 
 
 
If you have a Nintendo Switch and picked up Animal Crossing, LET'S TRADE FRIEND CODES. Since we have to socially isolate, we can at least meet each other on our own Private Idahos
source: animal-crossing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SILive)
 
 
 
If kids are out of school indefinitely, why is New York City still using speed cameras in school zones?
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My husband and son have always been close; my husband prided himself on his strength and atheletics and encouraged the same in our son. They would wrestle in the backyard; my husband always won. Until now; their relationship is fracturing. What do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Gen X: this is what we've trained for
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
File under A for "About Farking Time": Grocery store workers in Minnesota now classified as emergency workers
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Nope, not going to run a coronavirus home school. Kids are watching TV, playing video games and eating cookies. And that is fine
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Star (Malaysia))
 
 
 
"Sometimes we can choose the paths we follow. Sometimes our choices are made for us. And sometimes we have no choice at all." Let Neil Gaiman show you some choices you can make while you're stuck at home social distancing
source: thestar.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 19, 2020
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Great-gran, 105, doesn't let the coronavirus pandemic bring her down so she turns herself on with boozy birthday at pub and sex shop (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
EU commissioner asks Netflix to switch all streaming to standard definition so the series of tubes doesn't get clogged
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DeadState)
 
 
 
Anti-gay politician votes against COVID-19 testing bill because it 'redefines family'. Expected to come out of closet in 5...4...3...2
source: deadstate.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Do I need to homeschool my children when they're home from school during the Coronavirus quarantine? I'm not that good at math"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
According to the Religious Right, Joe Biden will try and criminalize and outlaw religion and the church
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Putting a face on how contagious coronavirus is: 3 out of 7 infected die...in one family
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 18, 2020
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Dying of Coronavirus? Melania wants you to take up a hobby (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Sen. Ron Johnson (R-Eally Missed Point) says he's worried about "incentivizing people to not show up for work," while not understanding that is in fact the goal
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 17, 2020
(Metro)
 
 
 
McDonald's promises to ditch the only reason kids want Happy Meals by 2021
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Out shopping to hoard food during the crisis? Avoid things marked with the WIC label, please, because for some people that's all they're going to be able to get by on
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
So that's what Marmaduke is up to these days
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Ringer)
 
 
 
Will the Tom Brady saga end today? Where will Rivers take his eight children? Are the Browns going to win the offseason again? It's your NFL Free Agency Day Two thread
source: theringer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 16, 2020
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Parents suffering crippling anxiety from spending time with their children
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Naked Security)
 
 
 
While everyone is standing in line to buy more TP there is a bill tiptoeing through Congress that will make Encryption a thing of the past. Call your Congress critter
source: nakedsecurity.sophos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
White House cancels annual Easter Egg Roll. Even the Easter Bunny is socially distancing himself from Donnie
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
-2999
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 15, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
DeBlasio surrenders. NYC schools to close
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Judge blocks Trump rule that would have kicked 700,000 off food stamps on April 1st
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 13, 2020
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Why can't the Congresscritters in Congress vote from home during the coronavirus pandemic? You know, like the rest of us minions who are working from home
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Fulcrum)
 
 
 
Today in "Wait, can he actually do that?": Georgia's governor cancels the election for state Supreme Court and says he'll handpick the seat instead
source: thefulcrum.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fear mongering on coronavirus will go down as fraud to manipulate economies so says some Fox News talking head...err MIT Biologist
source: techstartups.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What's your favorite flavor of popcorn?
source: laurinburgexchange.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
Not condoning your actions, Ms. Daycare Worker, but I understand
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
"Can you imagine a more effective way to spread a respiratory virus than sending one or two family members (children) off to mix with hundreds of others, having them return to their families in the evening, and repeating that process every day?"
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 12, 2020
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
It's worse than Ebola
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
'Super wolf' the size of a lion killed after it unleashes a terrifying rampage on quiet Russian village. No word yet of any bitten villagers howling at the moon, but silver bullets are being polished up just in case (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
In Tennessee, people spray their kids with disinfectant so that they don't catch coronavirus. Also works on skeeters
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Ilhan Omar remarried, but certainly not to the man who she didn't have an affair with
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
98-year-old Girl Scout has been selling her cookies since 1932. Betty White may have some competition
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Remember in October of 2008 during the great crash, how Republicans joined Democrats in a bi-partisan effort to save the American economy and pass the TARP bill? Yeah, that's SO '00's, 2020 Republicans don't DO Bipartisanship
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
If you're the parent who sent your kid to middle school with a bag of THC-laced candy to hand out to its classmates, Commerce City, CO police would like to have a little chat with you
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Amid nationwide shortages, you can still find some hand sanitizer for sale at a NJ 7-Eleven. It was made by the store owner, and it caused severe burns on a couple of kids who used it, but still
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 11, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
US heart surgeon regularly travels to Libya to treat children lacking care. Not a huge story but one that needs recognition. Bonus: Farker's friend is part of the team that does this
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ace Showbiz)
 
 
 
Taye Diggs digs a hole
source: aceshowbiz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Yeah, just look at your husband's Twitter
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Bess, the loneliest dog in Britain, finally finds her forever home after her shelter 'auditions' hundreds of lonely doggo lovers (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Young boy gets left behind after class trip. A story just like the movie Home Alone. Only Kevin is now three, and "home" is a RODEO
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Good to see someone given a new future from President Trump get back out there with their message of hate
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Your kids' coach likely doesn't know the first thing about coaching
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Me TV)
 
 
 
Remember when you could cut records out of the back of cereal boxes? For younger Farkers, remember records?
source: metv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USDA)
 
 
 
USDA approves school meals without schools
source: fns.usda.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 10, 2020
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Sexual abuser Harvey Weinstein's legal team pleads with judge that he'll die behind bars if he's sentenced to more than five years. Tiny violins pleas
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Coast Observer)
 
 
 
Just plain nice. Read it and smile
source: palmcoastobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fatherly)
 
 
 
Research finds fathers playing with their children is one of the best ways to keep their daughters off drugs and their sons off stripper poles
source: fatherly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)