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headlines found matching 'Word'
Sat July 04, 2020
(wut?)
 
 
 
Welcome to the Welsh town of "headline has a word that's too long; try adding some spaces". Drew's tech bots translated it for us
source: vintage-everyday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Famous last words: "I thought no one would steal a 13 foot metal giraffe"
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
By tweeting a supporter shouting "white power", then failing to condemn those words, Trump has effectively settled on "white power" as his official 2020 reelection slogan
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
One for the Grammar Nazis - the most mispronounced word in the world
source: humanparts.medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 03, 2020
(Louder Sound)
 
 
 
Geddy Lee has only stood in line once to get tickets to see a band .... Yes, it was not the Eagles
source: loudersound.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
TikTok and 32 other iOS apps still read your clipboard when they open. Yes, this can include your passwords and other sensitive data
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 02, 2020
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Words any other Commander In Chief would hate to hear from Stars and Stripes: "Trump's pardon of officer they helped convict of murder is crushing betrayal"
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
No word on what the over/under will be as NJ to allow gambling on the Nathan's hot dog eating contest but you can bet that you want to be no where near a porta-potty in Coney Island that afternoon
source: 1010wins.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Hong Kong activists are now discussing a 'parliament-in-exile' type-thing after the Chinese crackdown. No word as yet on the hookers and blackjack
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
MIT's AI training included labelling women as "whores or biatches, and Black and Asian people with derogatory language. The database also contained close-up pictures of female genitalia labeled with the C-word." No wonder Skynet's so eeeevil
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The head of Germany's financial watchdog calls the accounting scandal at Wirecard "a massive criminal act." The Germans, they do have a way mit ze words
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Gesundheit Maxwell arrested, no word if she is wearing her choker
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Exposed core of gas giant planet, like Neptune, seen for first time. No word on if this theory applies to Uranus
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Tom Hanks goes big, makes a splash, and casts away all the hooches saying "That thing you do; you're ladykillers; shame on you" He truly is in a league of his own
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 01, 2020
(KBJR6)
 
 
 
If you've been roaming the sewers of Duluth while nude, authorities would like to have a word with you, preferably from upwind
source: kbjr6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
CEO of conservative Twitter competitor Parler says he will ban users who write potty words. However the N-word and several racist words for Asians? Totally okay
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Airlines resume full flights, noting that you can't actually social distance on a plane. In other words, every time you get on a plane, you're marinating in one of my farts
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Road & Track)
 
 
 
Ford owners can now have 'Godzilla' under their hoods. No word on Toyota Gameras
source: roadandtrack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 30, 2020
(Twitter Donald Trump)
 
 
 
14 Words (before the hashtag) in a tweet totalling 88 characters
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
In which a SEAL has a few choice words for a coward
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Here's a lot of words to say: "Biden must hold Trump accountable"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The CEO of Parler wants you liberals to know that he's not running a far-Right hate site and you should all sign up now to have deeply thoughtful and civil conversations about creative ways to use the N word and good deals on Bubba rope
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
And without a look back, Muenster became the first of 10 Kemp's ridley and green sea turtles to paddle forth ... word salad, yes, but man is it dusty
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science News)
 
 
 
Today I learned a new word: flocculent. I still have no idea what it means, but I'm going to work it into conversation anyway
source: sci-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
The Racist White People of America Summer Tour makes a stop in Michigan with Noise Complaint Nancy
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 29, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Twitter and Facebook still don't have a problem with egregious, demonstrable lies. Shut. It. Down
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Who cut the cheese? OK, who came up with that saying? How bad was that cheese that cutting it made it worse? What's your favorite idiom or your favorite story behind an idiom?
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Hundreds gather at San Diego rally to recall Gov Newsom and show off their patriotic hotpants
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
You see, when an old, white trump supporter yells "WHITE POWER" it doesn't mean what you think it means because
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
11 people shot across NYC. No word where they landed
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 28, 2020
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Do you have legitimate super powers or psychic abilities and are willing to prove it? You could be $250,000 richer
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 27, 2020
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
White woman at Walmart claims black family stole "her" car. Note the placement of the quotation marks
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 26, 2020
(Fark)
 
 
 
Mmm, I could really go for some __________
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Sabre-rattling Greek navy fights back at Turkey's aggression ... by sinking an abandoned warship close to Turkish holiday islands in the Mediterranean. No word yet if decommissioned transport ship was able to fight back
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
A thong? There's no thongs in golfing
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Tom Brady on practicing during coronavirus pandemic: "Only thing we have to fear, is fear itself," using the words of the president permanently disabled by a highly contagious disease
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Is it correct to label them hackers when you publicly post the link and password to your Zoom meeting?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
In 10 years, conventional marketing will disappear, and consumer arrogance via word of mouth will be the promotion tactic. "It's all about showing others how great a consumer you are, better than them"
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Bulwark)
 
 
 
MAGAs following Ted Cruz and Devin Nunes from Twitter over to Parler ought to know that most of the available N-word user names have already been snapped up
source: thebulwark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 25, 2020
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
The most searched word in your state on dictionary.com between March and May had something to do with the pandemic, unless you live in Missouri
source: riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
When a staid news organization like CNN is openly using words like "Apocalyptic" in their headlines for stories about a pandemic, well you're either getting zombies, or what we have incoming in the next few months..and the zombies would be preferable
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Yes, NIST but what about all the POSITIVE connotations those words have among the BDSM-American Community? Did you ever think about THAT?
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Unilever's 'Fair & Lovely' now 'Dead & Buried'
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Look away dixie, now they're just The Chicks
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
US fighter jets intercept Russian military aircraft near Alaska...again. No word if Sarah Palin saw whole thing
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
And so it has come to this: The Trump Campaign claims Biden said, "the coronavirus is a hoax" by editing out the words "Trump said" right before it
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The police wouldn't say why he was being arrested, only showing him a piece of paper with his photo and the words "felony warrant" and "larceny"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Scientists coin new word "anthropause" to get publicity for their wildlife study
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Mark Cuban endorsed Joe Biden for President. Fark: While on Sean Hannity's Fox News show
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 24, 2020
(Hamilton Journal-News)
 
 
 
Due to social distancing, please remain "6 feet from Kevin's Bacon"
source: journal-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
An article about how the "most annoying" phrase in the English language is "stealing someone's thunder" when, in fact, everyone knows that the most annoying phrase is "It is what it is"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rock Paper Shotgun)
 
 
 
Today's formerly beloved creator now revealed to be a sexual predator: Chris Avellone. No word if the Fallout from treating humans like Prey means he'll be in Torment for the Dying Light of his career
source: rockpapershotgun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Remote. Code. Execution." James Bond-y spycraft or three words you never want to hear regarding a 'secure browser'?
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Six-word Sci-Fi: Imagine an apocalypse with a happy ending
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
If you took the sword from the statue of General John Stark, who led American forces during the 1777 Battle of Bennington, please return it. Also, you're a dick
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 23, 2020
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
They told me you couldn't have a 25 hour race in a single day. I told them to stick an extra hour in there, and I don't care how it gets done. Don't question it. Don't say a word. Just start your engines cause I feel like racing
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Starbucks adds plant-based meat to US menu. No word on meat-based coffee...yet
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Garbled word salad Tekashi 6ix9ine says he is "unstoppable" after getting a Billboard #1. No word on whether all those he spoke against in open court agree
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Florida man tries to steal a plane to take marijuana to California to meet his girlfriend, which sounds like the best stoned idea ever. No word on how many Doritos were onboard
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Church hosting Trump rally in Phoenix has solved Covid-19 by praying for air filters
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Okay, yeah, yeah. We've heard from the Lincoln Project, Ted Lieu and assorted Spinal Tap fans, but the final word on the Emptysburg Address goes to Sarah Cooper
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 22, 2020
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Joel Schumacher has died. No word yet on whether the casket will have nipples
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
1,798: Words Donald Trump devoted to re-telling the ramp story on Saturday. 272: Words in the Gettysburg Address
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Controversial Theodore Roosevelt statue to be removed from American Museum of Natural History's front steps in NYC. No word yet if the inside statues will revolt
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 21, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Tom Petty's estate had a few words to say about the unauthorized use of his song "I Won't Back Down" at the Tulsa Rally debacle: don't do me like that and don't come around here no more
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southgate News-Herald)
 
 
 
Five words to green: bumbling pair of beer thieves
source: thenewsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Garçon, another bottle of the Nine of Swords, and please, doodle on my face with your ballpoint pen, would you?
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Object lands in India. Is it meteorite or alien? You'll get to see it, after this word from our sponsor
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 20, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
MLB's biggest problem is A) The ongoing player/owner salary dispute, B) The DH rule being moved into the National League, C) Pete Alonso saying naughty words
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 19, 2020
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Not only do hummingbirds know the words, they see colors we've never dreamed of
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Hellfire missiles with frickin' sword blades attached to their heads
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
Canadian man tows a hot tub on a homemade wooden cart with a Porsche, No word if he apologized for owning a Porsche
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Lisa Rinna wears nothing but sunglasses in naked photoshoot and I could have stopped after the word nothing, right? Certainly after naked. So any plans for Father's Day weekend? [NSFW]
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Queen sad that contemporary, Vera Lynn, has died. Not a lot of those still around. How's Betty White doin'? Used to love her on Password
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 18, 2020
(BBC)
 
 
 
UK Councillor repeatedly says N-word, and tells how his family used to own a cat named N-word, in order to highlight how things have changed. Only he didn't say "N-word", he said the N-word. De re / de dicto
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Forgoing the strongly-worded statement, US senators write a bill to curb foreign espionage and influence on campuses. These guys never learn
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
"The number of applicants has nothing to do with my skills as an instructor. The key word is 'Oneself,' which is irresistible to 20-year-olds"
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 17, 2020
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
In other words, no
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
Formula E will charge into Berlin to finish the season with 6 races in August. No word as to who's on the poles, which could be a positive or a negative
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you cut off a memorial sign honoring a black man who was lynched by racists in 1882 from a pole in a Kansas City park and threw said sign off a cliff, lots of folks would like a word with you
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Trump to follow up his strongly worded letter to Bolton with a strongly worded letter to his own niece
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 16, 2020
(Fark)
 
 
 
What seemingly silly but actually practical law would you create? Subby wants jail time for writers that pose a question in a headline and then bury the simple single sentence answer near the end of ten pages of word diarrhea. The "K.I.S.S. Act"
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The economy is still tanking, people are still out of work, and restaurants are shutting down again due to coronavirus spikes. So what sound words of wisdom does Jim Cramer have for you struggling to get through this?
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Tetrachromacy is such a cool word, this deserves to go UV+green
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stamford Advocate)
 
 
 
For those who kept pointing out armed right wing protestors were peaceful, "were" is the key word now. Everyone with common sense saw this coming a mile away
source: stamfordadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Louder Sound)
 
 
 
The Butler did it and is still doing it
source: loudersound.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"Lies". The word you're looking for is "lies"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Carney-barker-in-chief dodecuples down on hydroxychloroquine even after FDA revokes its approval for COVID. "Dodecuples" might not be a real word, but that's what we've come to in the era of the Infomercial President
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 15, 2020
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Kyle Weatherman debuts 'Back The Blue' vehicle for NASCAR. No word if he'll be called out for mixing sports and politics and told to stay in his lane
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Finally. As we've all known, The Beatles were really into slavery. Can't Buy Me Love, indeed
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Elon Musk to create 'Bionic Man' within a year through implanted chips. No word yet if Lee Majors has signed on (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 14, 2020
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Rage Against the Machine is all the rage in 2020. They were just trying to ruin Donnie's chances by writing an anti-white supremacy song back in 1992. Sneaky bastards
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 12, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
Kudlow: "I'd like to eat my words in a month or so"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's son arrested for allegedly stabbing neighbor. No word if it was Bill Walton's son
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 11, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"B-b-but he only knows the BEST words"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
Country group Lady Antebellum to change name to Lady A. No word how many triggered country fans will burn their albums
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The story of how Trump tried to make a new friend. TRIED being the operative word
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Southern state takes a stand and refuses to ban the sale of Confederate flags at their State and County fairs, and by southern state I mean Ohio
source: statenews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Knewz)
 
 
 
Man, Olivia Wilde has really let herself go while in prison
source: knewz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 10, 2020
(Loudwire)
 
 
 
Petition to replace offensive statue with VERY offensive statue
source: loudwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Now everybody, have you heard, if you're in the game. Then the stroke's the word, even if were waiting on the subway train
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Seattle police chief meets with protesters at abandoned east Precinct. No word on number of casualties
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
U.S. Customs and Border Protection commissioner:"CBP drones that were deployed during marches were not used to surveil protesters". No word on what they were supposedly doing otherwise
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dictionary.com)
 
 
 
Of buttshafts, coversluts, fuksheets, and other words that might get filterpwned but aren't actually dirty
source: dictionary.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chicago brewery up for sale for $2.5 million--on Craigslist
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
The Grammy Awards: we're dropping the use of "urban" to describe certain African-American music genres. Also the Grammy Awards: we're adding the word "urban" to a Latino genre
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 09, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I hope they've learned to sanitize their database inputs
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
After becoming the first woman to take a spacewalk, Kathy Sullivan becomes the first woman to reach the bottom of the 35,000 feet deep ocean
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Press Sec. Kayleigh McEnany: "Mitt Romney can say three words outside on Pennsylvania Avenue but I would note this -- that President Trump won 8% of the black vote.". It's frightening they consider this a good thing
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 08, 2020
(Stereogum)
 
 
 
Village People no longer want Drumpf using "Macho Man" or " "Y.M.C.A." at rallies. Playing "Sleazy" still OK
source: stereogum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"The Rock just gave a more presidential speech than Trump". Well, sure, but that's a bar set so low that teams of scientists are feverishly working on creating a new unit of measurement to describe its height
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
'Four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a games room, and a fully equipped medieval sex dungeon.' Welcome home
source: humansoftumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 07, 2020
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
We see that you have an interest in racism and racist. Would you consider following @RealDonaldTrump?
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
BMW X5 was designed in two hours on an airplane napkin and it shows
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Repeating the F word can increase your pain threshold, the number of credits that need to be paid for violating the verbal morality statute
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 05, 2020
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Silly gator, space is for Bob and Doug * Germany to hold a rocket competition. No word if London will be evacuated * SpaceX: Boom today, success tomorrow * Exos: Boom today success today * Vega to return to flight * Russia leaks on South America 🚀
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Let's revisit the five wordless minutes that open Pixar's "Up". I'm not crying, you're crying
source: film.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 04, 2020
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Chinese EV maker NIO can swap a fresh battery almost as fast as you can fill a tank
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Citizens: Our facebooks and twitters have told us we're all going to be attacked and looted. Sheriff: ( paraphrasing ) you're all idiots. Reality: one man arrested for threatening peaceful protestors
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Suddenly, swordhands
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 03, 2020
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
For those keeping track at home, it appears we've now arrived at envelopes on the 2020 shortage list
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester Democrat and Chronicle)
 
 
 
Shock jocks fail to read the room and try to tap dance around using the N-word... find out their tap shoes are still plenty loud
source: democratandchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
DC National Guard general orders review of a "flying maneuver conducted by one of our rotary aviation assets". Investigators will start looking into it just as soon as they apprehend the person who stole the word "helicopter"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Hindsight being 20/20 and all, what were you supposed to be doing this year? What will you now never (or rarely) do again?
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mary Sue)
 
 
 
Dick Wolf fires Law & Order writer over racist alt-right Facebook post. DUN DUN
source: themarysue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Butt wiping throughout the ages; at last, the story can be told. Still no word on how to use the three sea shells
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 02, 2020
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My fiancé wants his sister to be a bridesmaid in our wedding. The problem is, she drops the N-word casually and her boyfriend is a 'racist POS.' His words. I don't want her in the wedding; ettiquette-wise, is there a way to not have her involved?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ARL Now)
 
 
 
The police departments of Arlington, VA and Washington, D.C. had a mutual assistance agreement. Emphasis on the word "had"
source: arlnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
Audio
 
Police scanner apps are really popular right now for some reason
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 01, 2020
(McSweeney's)
 
 
 
"I am your progressive mayor and I think we need to cut our roving death squads a bit of slack"
source: mcsweeneys.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
And now, some words of hope from a President of the United States of America
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Trump is a 'race-baiting, xenophobic' bigot." Were these words spoken by A: Nancy Pelosi? B: Bernie Sanders? or C: Lindsey Graham (in 2015)?
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 31, 2020
(StudyFinds)
 
 
 
Scientists find Skinny Gene. Fat Tony and Johnny Roastbeef would like to have a word
source: studyfinds.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This is.... I don't even.... What in the...? There are 944 words here. Subby read them all. Twice. And the amount of actual, meaningful communication here seems to be... zero? I don't care what anyone says, it took real talent to craft this
source: disrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pig)
 
 
 
A group of feral pigs destroyed over 20k worth of cocaine that drug dealers had stored in a forest. No word on how the pigs are doing but they were seen smiling
source: allthatsinteresting.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 30, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hear a man play the last known Stradivarius guitar, then abandon whatever guitar aspirations you may have left in your soul
source: cmuse.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ACSH)
 
 
 
Put down the "pandemic porn", it'll make you grow the coronavirus on the palms of your hands
source: acsh.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 29, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Sens Warren, Klobuchar, Bennet, Schumer, Whitehouse and Booker publicly respond to Trump's tweet. They use fancier words but essentially all same the same thing: "Jesus FARK Donnie,WTF is WRONG with you?"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
Journalist translates CEO speak to normal speak
source: tech.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Reads headline: "Hopefully it was just an accident" -- Watches video: "Holy fark"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Today's challenge: Replace the last three words in TFA's actual headline with three other words that are also true
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
George Conway must really enjoy that couch, throwing shade at his succubus wife and her boss in one fell swoop
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTSM)
 
 
 
Police called in to control crowds as beer is once again available in Mexico. It's not news, it's Fark.mx
source: ktsm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 28, 2020
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Glimpse of what post-coronavirus restaurant seating plans will look like, complete with glass 'lampshade' bubble pods to keep us safe. No word yet on whether they will come with state of the art "Get Smart" communications
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Got an extra $7.3mil lying around? This Swedish "wellness village" could make you happy. BYO suck pumps and massagers
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
What's the difference between HBO's three streaming services? Apparently, it takes a nearly 2000 word article to unravel the stupidity
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 27, 2020
(Public Library of Science)
 
 
 
Hahahahaha, Duuuuude, Yeeessss
source: journals.plos.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Public Library of Science)
 
 
 
Hahahahaha, Duuuuude, Yeeessss
source: journals.plos.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
Whoever's Adopt-a-Highway stretch this is will have their hands full for the rest of summer
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Age, gender, culture, your mirror 'predict loneliness'
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Speculation swirls about the next Supreme Court vacancy after Justice Thomas says he might fall on the sword to lock down the conservatives' 5-4 majority
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Uber moves its Asian HQ from Singapore to Hong Kong. No word on when the main HQ moves to Camden, New Jersey
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 26, 2020
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Polish version of '50 Shades' to hit Netflix next month. No word if its' simply looking at paint samples (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
TV shows, foreign food, and social media influencers are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, May 3-9 Memorial Day Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mary Sue)
 
 
 
People reeaaally hate the stupid Hulu catchphrase commercial
source: themarysue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 25, 2020
(Statter 911)
 
 
 
Our flag was still there ... sort of
source: statter911.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Injured turkey gets wheelchair. No word on status of gravy, dressing
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Biden attempts to move left without abandoning center, in action that would cement his status as an ambi-turner. No word on status of Blue Steel, freak gasoline fight accidents
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Now is NOT THE TIME to unearth a 2,000 year-old "mystery brown liquid" found in the tomb underneath a Japanese warrior's sword
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
The coup thwarted, Randy Jackson will rejoin Journey, a reward for fans who refused to stop believin'
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 23, 2020
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Carnegie Mellon scientists discover than nearly half the Twitter accounts promoting the "Re-open America" message are bots. In other words we've reached the "Kill all humans" phase of the Great Robot Revolution
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Saying "fark" or other swear words really can reduce your experience of pain. Here comes the mother trucking science, you farging bastiches
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Remember all that voter fraud Trump went on and on about in 2018? Believe it or not, it never happened
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 22, 2020
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
The Governor of Washington State should be arrested for acting "in treason and sedition against me" says barber shop owner, in today's entry in "Man who has no idea what words mean speaks out"
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Microsoft is saying "adios" to 27 languages in iOS Outlook
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
Grubhub, Uber Eats, and DoorDash are choking out independent restaurants like a virus
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 21, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
Stabbed through the heart, and you're to blame, you give loons a bad name
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
WFH start-up gets a sweet deel. No word if this really is how wework in a few years
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
M-I-C ... See you real soon NBA ... K-E-Y.... Why Orlando for the rest of the season? Look at the next word. M-O-U-$$$-EEEE
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 20, 2020
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Arizona has officially reopened: multiple people shot, suspect in custody
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Answer: "Gov. DeSantis. Open our bars. We need our life back." Question: When do protest signs send wrong messages about protesters?
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Civil Rights Movement)
 
 
 
According to Trump, victims of the Coronavirus are "people who have been left behind who died for some reason." No word on what the f*ck that means
source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Semi hauling 40k pounds of noodles overturns in Nashville. No word if it was a Mac truck
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Players at risk of taking blame if baseball season called off. This is not a repeat from 1994
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 19, 2020
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Happy 75th to Pete Townshend, who, in perhaps the ultimate piece of youthful resistance, has refused to listen to his own words
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Realizing that there is nothing they can release that will shock Trump supporters, law firm hackers turn their ransom attention towards Madonna. Oh those sweet innocent children of summer
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Public outbursts of cabin fever: "In other words, you weak. They don't even put your name in the same sentence as me. Remember that"
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hull Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In the next module of your home-schooling work book, in your own words, define these five categories of pornography
source: hulldailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Finally some good news: A large group of Americans is already immune to coronavirus. Hooray. We have done it, now we can safely re-ope...excuse me, I skipped a word there: they are immune to EVIDENCE on coronavirus. Sorry, my bad
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter Donald Trump)
 
 
 
Trump shows us the sternly worded letter that he sent to the WHO, absolving himself of any pandemic responsibility
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 18, 2020
(The Wrap)
 
 
 
The NYT and Ben Smith just attacked Ronan Farrow, wonder what story of his they are trying preemptively get in front off
source: thewrap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Panic, Laura Ingraham porn. Laura Ingraham porn panic. PORN, Laura Ingraham, panic. "Panic Porn," Laura Ingraham. These words make no sense at all when combined in any order
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thurrott)
 
 
 
After new Google Pixel sales fall off a cliff compared to earlier Pixels, two Google Pixel bigwigs are relegated to pixel size in Alphabet's corporate history. No word on if they were gifted Windows Phones as farewell presents
source: thurrott.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 15, 2020
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Two words: Penguin Jenkem
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
In lieu of actual basketball, please enjoy a thousand words about a single line of trash talk from 1997
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Fired BARDA director Rick Bright's 4-hour testimony before Congress yesterday can be summarized by a 4-word email he got from a Texas N-95 mask manufacturer in January: "we're in deep shiat"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Mississippi casinos to reopen before Memorial Day weekend for people who like to gamble with their lives
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"What will happen if Trump loses and then takes to Twitter to say he actually won? It's not hard to see how deadly that could become, particularly given that Fox News personalities are already absurdly throwing around the word 'coup'"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Assault rifle-totting fun police roll up to disarm a guy walking around in a knight outfit carrying a sword... letting him go on his way.after taking a picture with him
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
German nuclear towers come down in spectacular fashion with controlled explosion
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
And the CGI reboot would've gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for you meddling film reviewers
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Video reveals why you should be milking your cucumbers until white foamy substance comes out before eating them. No word on if we can do this with eggplants
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Motherfarker
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 14, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Star Wars fans "outraged" after Lucasfilm exec dares to call a franchise about space wizards and laser swords "fake" when discussing what is and is not canon
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 12 Westchester)
 
 
 
Stony Brook University Hospital workers hold virtual happy hour via Zoom. Gets crashed by Alex Rodriguez. No word if J-Lo walked out of bathroom during call
source: longisland.news12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Queens diner starts up makeshift drive-in theater to drum up business. No word if they're showing 'Contagion', 'Outbreak', or 'The Andromeda Strain'
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 13, 2020
(Fark)
 
 
 
Today's Fark Writer's Thread headline is being outsourced and ghost written by Subby's cat: "5ftr6gvgftrftrg." This your Fark Writer's Thread, cat based typing edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
"Come on man, what are you thinking?" Sheriff Judd said. "Were your three brain cells in overload? Why don't you just let it go? Get you a bottle of liquor, go back to the house, have you a drink. But no, they had to have a kerfuffle right there"
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside the Magic)
 
 
 
Muppet Guys Talking reunites for a free livestream event supporting the fine healthcare workers at Veterinarian's Hospital
source: insidethemagic.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quanta Magazine)
 
 
 
"Milestone" evidence for Anyons, the "Third Kingdom" of particles. Quanta, bringing the Sword of Truth
source: quantamagazine.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
It is clear from his own words that to Trump, more votes = fraudulent votes. Does that mean that less votes = fair votes? Gee, next on the double-think hit parade: NO votes = perfect votes. TAA-DAAAAA Slavery is Freedom. Pick up that can, citizen
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
I'm sorry, "sparkly abomination" is not a legal Scrabble word
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
I think I would have used a slightly different word than visionary in a headline to describe Stevie Wonder on his 70th birthday
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Lucky Musky thinks because he got lucky with Paypal that others should die of diseases so he can continue to get lucky. In other words, he's just another scumbag rich guy who deserves to lose all his money
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 12, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Mexico sends the US a strongly worded note over the 'Fast and Furious' Obama-Biden era gun-running scheme
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Was this article written by the murder hornet's PR representative?
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Trump's lawyers came right out and asked the Supreme Court to make him king. Thomas already thinking, "Sure, why not?"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
And now, some words from the President of the United States, with interpretive visual commentary by Sarah Cooper
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's the National Day for Limericks / to show off your funny word tricks / you can post them in here / with nary a fear / of being mocked by a thread full of pricks
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WV Gazette Mail)
 
 
 
West Virginia library board holding a Zoom meeting get an unexpected presentation of child porn and racism. In other words, it was a Monday
source: wvgazettemail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 11, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
Man who wanted to fight his wife with sword demands she get a psychological evaluation
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
For a mere $1.1 million, you can buy Walt Disney's former Palm Springs home. No word if it comes with his frozen head
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Civil Rights Movement)
 
 
 
City commissioner says Coronavirus should kill the "old, sick, and homeless" as they are a "drain on society." No word when Trump will appoint him to his Coronavirus Task Force
source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter Donald Trump)
 
 
 
Nepotism, wow that's a bigly word, is only good when I do it. Everyone else is scum
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 10, 2020
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
"People have forgotten how to treat other human beings in the six or seven weeks that they've been confined to their homes. They have no clue how to respect other human beings"
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
I have never heard a bad word spoken about the Sikhs. That continues to this day. Sikh Doctors Shave Beards to Fight COVID: "This Was an Exception to the Rule"
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 08, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio uses one heck of a word salad to avoid saying that maybe if you people could do social distancing right the police would leave you alone, probably
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenwich Time)
 
 
 
"It's obvious that Mar-a-Lago is attempting to subvert the political participation process." In other words, Donald Trump is attempting to pull a fast-one while most folks are distracted by the coronavirus
source: greenwichtime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
You can binge watch 10 dog movies and earn $1000 for it. No word on if they allow you to hit the paws button during it to use the restroom
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 07, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
"I guess I won't do this again." As last words go, that's not bad. Tag for the deceased
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Man enters Dunkin' sans pants. No word on if he was wearing, shoes, shirt, mask
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MovieWeb)
 
 
 
Netflix green-lights Shadowrun-Lite 2
source: movieweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Inspired by Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield now wants to return to the ring. No word on if Mike Tyson would ear-itate him again
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Pastor Robert Morris: Anyone who claims to be an atheist is a liar, and I have the scientific data to prove it
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 06, 2020
(Bloomberg Law)
 
 
 
One of the sentences a judge does not imagine-much less welcome-writing includes the words 'butt shaking' in describing a lawyer's alleged actions at a mediation. Sadly, those words fit here
source: news.bloomberglaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
I cut my hair with a vacuum cleaner and oh man, I got what I deserved (NSFW words)
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
"Temporary" is just another word for "nothing left to lose"
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Expect malls to be less crowded when they finally reopen. So in other words, status quo?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
"Greatest economy ever." "I have the best words." "I am the most popular person in the history of the Republican Party." "Worst job loss in the history of ADP report" One of these is not a lie
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Corporate buzzwords are quite literally the worst, and here are some fine examples of synergistic efficiency designed to polarize discordant opinion
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 05, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
"I want to say one word to you. Just one word." "Yes, sir. "Are you listening? "Yes, I am." "Bioplastics"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
What is the best word to describe today?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Living without broadband has gone 'from a mild inconvenience to a near impossibility.'" "Obvious" tag in a Starbucks, asking, "Hey, what's the wi-fi password here?"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Study finds 66% of people recycle the same password or use variations on the same basic one; 100% of them are morans (subby admits to not being the brightest tool in the drawer)
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 04, 2020
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The Eagle has *bump* *screech* *bang* landed
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Dammit. Offerup was supposed to be an improvement to the flakes on Craigslist, using verification to reduce scams and increase the likelihood that people respond. It doesn't seem to be any better though
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Ralph Fiennes to portray Miss Trunchbull in new adaptation of Matilda
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delish.com)
 
 
 
Just in time for Cinco de Mayo, Sonic introduces Queso Burger. No word if it comes with side of angioplast balloon
source: delish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
If you've been wondering whether the words "Tori Amos," "offers quarantine comfort," and "a recipe for vegan mushroom stew" could all work together in one headline, we now have an answer: They cannot
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Sidney Crosby donates 100,000 meals to the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank. No word on why he had 100,000 meals to begin with
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pink News UK)
 
 
 
Franklin Graham told to pack up his tents and GTFO of NYC after repeatedly breaking his promise that his Central Park hospital would not discriminate against LGBTQ people or evangelize
source: pinknews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC11 North Carolina)
 
 
 
"Each table sells for $27, with a tablecloth and nuts included." No word on the size of those nuts
source: abc11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 03, 2020
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Republican State Senator clutches his pearls over highly offensive wording on official NJ signage. FARK: The word in question is "knucklehead"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
Like so many other television productions, The Daily Show crew has been furloughed by the pandemic. Trevor Noah reaches into pants, pulls out wallet: "I got this"
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Texas movie theaters reopen with "airport style security screening". In other words, the movie theater equivalent of the TSA is going to let a bunch of infected patrons get past security anyway
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 01, 2020
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Differences in reporting criteria make it impossible to directly compare mortality from the flu to that from COVID-19. "In other words, the coronavirus is not anything like the flu: It is much, much worse
source: blogs.scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Dictionaries aren't in the constitution so Love killer thinks he deserves a new trial
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 30, 2020
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
This is satire right? Please be satire. I really can't tell anymore, but then my Noble prize was revoked before I had my covfefe and hamberders so my mind is not in stable genius mode
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
If you share your spotify password with someone don't be surprised when they hijack your smart speakers from anywhere on the interwebs. Also, *taps fingertips* exxxxcellent
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Joyce's friend arrived to find him slumped over his typewriter in tears. "What's the matter, James?" "Three words today." Joyce wailed "That's pretty good, for you." "But in what order?" A 100 day writing challenge for all you Fark writers
source: timclarepoet.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 29, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Headline is still six words too long
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Private First Class Neiro of the First Imaginary Army of Florida Men taken down by K9 after refusing to step away from his dropped firearm. No word on whether he could distinguish between his rifle and his gun
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Having the same word for "hello" and "goodbye" continues to pay dividends for Hawaii
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marion Star)
 
 
 
Corona protester loses her Ohio primary. No word if she'll protest results
source: marionstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio has a few choice words for "the Jewish community", proceeds to put his foot in his mouth again
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you're walking around your village in a 17th century plague doctor outfit, the Hellesdon police would like a word with you
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 28, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man buys 28 tons of onions. No word on how many he tied to his belt (which was the style at the time) because he had to take the ferry to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Wow, Texas and Iowa governors can go fark themselves
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Illinois rule means family can only legally be in their boat when it's in their garage. No word on status of motorboating, man in canoe
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 27, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Dinner plate sized pupils? ✔ Monotone word salad that could be "I love everybody" or "Allof erebuddy" ✔ Guy who has the ability to unilaterally launch nukes? ✔ Sleep tight, folks
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Great another YouTuber looking for 15 minutes of fame... (Clicks link) Awww
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Interesting Engineering)
 
 
 
The Space Force has developed a deflector dish, no word on whether it can reverse the polarity of the tachyon field yet
source: interestingengineering.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Germans must now wear masks in public. Still no word on armbands
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The NY Times analyzed every word of Trump's daily coronavirus briefings, finding, "By far the most recurring utterances from Mr. Trump in the briefings are self-congratulations"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Chicago Bulls ready to appoint the first black general manager in NBA history. No word why it's taken so long
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"Panic-buying grips North Korea amid rumors of Kim Jong Un's demise". No word on how much toilet paper, if any, is left
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 26, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Words of wisdom from a Prominent Farker in these trying times
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 24, 2020
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
Payments startup exposes millions of credit card accounts after it forgets to set a password for its servers
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Once again, it's Fresh Hell Friday. I've got nothing clever to say, so let's plop down on our sofas and catch the MSNBC Primetime lineup, starting at 8 PM Eastern
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Next Web)
 
 
 
Yesterday, at 2:14 PM, Skynet became aware and drew its first dickbutt
source: thenextweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 17 Columbia)
 
 
 
Man armed with a large sword, nunchucks, and a butcher's knife decides his best weapon is saliva that may or may not contain coronavirus
source: abc17news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Microsoft actually does something right, and yet a bunch of Keyboard Karens are griping about it
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Biden: "Mark my words, I think he is going to try to kick back the election somehow, come up with some rationale why it can't be held"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Benny Hill sues Billy Joel .... Oh, sorry, Berry Hill .... have to admit Benny Hill would have been much more amusing ... in an article that tries to be a Fark headline
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 23, 2020
(Page Six)
 
 
 
First base coach Mickey Mantle used a novel technique that ensured he'd never get to first base at all
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Apparently Trump just learned the word "specimen"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 22, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Kosher Bourbon now available. L'Chaim
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Former mayor of Tallahassee found in incoherent state. In other words, Florida
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
With the federal small business rescue fund depleted and no word on whether more funding will be made available, scores of restaurants turning to muggings, petty theft, and street crime to make ends meet
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A-well, a bird, bird, bird, bird is a word
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It was a dark and stormy night, and the clocks were striking thirteen as it was the best of times, it was a pleasure to burn. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, rearranging things edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"On second thought, maybe that small business money really should go to big business". 5-letter word ending in "I T C H"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Scientists are reporting they are seeing a mystery illness killing tits. No word on the report that seeing tits causes kittens to be killed
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 20, 2020
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Demonstrators in Russia are protesting lockdowns. No word as yet if they were infected by US trollbot farms
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
People refused to stay away from tulip display, so authorities ordered "Off with their heads". No word how many people have come to see the unusual scene
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
It was a performance art piece called "2020"
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on RAW: Will Drew nail the Monday Night Messiah for crossing him, three more MiTB qualifying matches: Aleister vs Theory, Rey vs Murphy & Apollo Crews jobbing to MVP. Also Bianca proves "she goes here" now. It all starts at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
With nothing to do because of the pandemic, wedding photographer raids her daughter's doll collection to shoot doll wedding. No word on who caught the bouquet
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Microsoft and pharma bros launch "plasmabot" which is just a chatbot to recruit potential donors for COVID-19 treatment, and totally not a roving predatory automaton to harvest human blood, why would you ever think that hahahaha
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 19, 2020
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Mark Subby's words, there will be pitchforks and torches coming out in Ireland if they try to keep pubs closed for 18 months until a coronavirus vaccine is found (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 18, 2020
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"It'll take more than a two-word Tweet to make me reopen my state"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PC Gamer)
 
 
 
Coming soon to PC: Pope Simulator. No word on what color smoke comes out of your computer when you enable god mode
source: pcgamer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 17, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Trump's "plan" to reopen the country is a lot like Subby's plan to make Anna Kendrick fall for him: vague, impractical, and missing all the important details
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grub Street)
 
 
 
This writer can't stop buying artisanal jams. No word on who sold him the raspberry
source: grubstreet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
First GM ventilators arriving in hospitals. No word on whether they're Chevys or Cadillacs
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
"Bullsh*t is everywhere. Here's how to deal with it at work." (nsfw words are piled up everywhere here)
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Why are American men so weird about getting gifts? Why is that question three words too long?
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 16, 2020
(NPR)
 
 
 
If ten years of "spectacular" economic growth can be wiped out in a month, then maybe "spectacular" was always the wrong word to describe America's economy. Perhaps "brittle", "fragile", or "bulls**t" would be more accurate?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Incredible finds found in location where Jesus was buried. Includes his diary where he talks about his good times with the 12 apostles and how his mom was always giving him a hard time about the Jews (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Anybody doing low-effort self improvement while stuck at home? Subby is trying a ballstretcher
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are the Mighty)
 
 
 
7 battlefield-tested ways on how not to lose your mind during isolation. God knows we could all use these
source: wearethemighty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Experts warn that those Facebook trends of sharing your old yearbook photo, first dog's name, street where you grew up, favorite password, etc might be dangerous
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Danny Trejo send hundreds of meals to LA hospital workers. No word if you need a machete to eat them
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Cloudflare outage caused by techie pulling out the wrong cables. No word if his name was Johnny and used to work at an airport control tower
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman accidentally tans "adidas" onto her hock during coronavirus lockdown
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 15, 2020
(BBC)
 
 
 
Last year BBC did a spectacular podcast series on everything leading up to the moon landing, and the landing itself. This year they're covering Apollo 13 the same way
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Instagram now trying to influence small businesses via gift cards, food orders and fundraisers
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Gov. Cuomo to require face masks in public starting this week for all of New York. Violators will be punished like they would for a minor offense, such as jay walking. In other words NYC, carry on
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"I think that there's hypocrisy here, in that if President Obama had said those words, that the authority is total with the presidency, conservatives' heads would've exploded across the board"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
If you left a case of dynamite in an abandoned schoolhouse in Roxbury, Vermont, the state police bomb squad would like a word. So would some Hollywood script writers, because what's the backstory on that?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Got a COVID-19 test without insurance? That's a billing
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 14, 2020
(KTBS Shreveport)
 
 
 
Louisiana now has flies that enter the human body through the ears and nose. No word from health officials if they wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex and make them want to follow the orders of Khan Noonan Singh
source: ktbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inc)
 
 
 
What's your opinions? I'd like to know, like now
source: inc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inc)
 
 
 
What's your opinions? I'd like to know, like now
source: inc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside the Magic)
 
 
 
Longtime Walt Disney Studios animator, dies from complications of COVID-19. No word if she'll be the 1000th ghost at Haunted Mansion
source: insidethemagic.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Do you stay up late reading scary news? Congratulations, you're a 'Doomscroller'
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Do you stay up late reading scary news? Congratulations, you're a 'Doomscroller'
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Amash teasing running for President as third-party candidate. No word if he'll travel the country by horse and buggy
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 13, 2020
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Only in New Orleans: 'With Brennan's being closed this year due to the coronavirus crisis, the Easter Bunny decided to hop down a very quiet Royal Street and sing a little quarantine song and then saber a bottle of champagne with a sword.'
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Churchgoers ticketed $500 each after going to drive-in church service. No word on how may people sneaked in by hiding in the trunk
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 12, 2020
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Can you spell what ESPN's programming is all day? "Awesome. A-W-E-S-O-M-E. Awesome." This is YOUR official Scripps National Spelling Bee marathon thread
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Post US)
 
 
 
Belfast pub delivers pints of freshly-poured Guinness door-to-door to booze-loving Irish during coronavirus lockdown. No word yet on whether Drew will be doing clean up with towels
source: irishpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 11, 2020
(Medium)
 
 
 
Prepare yourselves for the ultimate gaslighting. It will be fast. It will be furious. And overwhelming. The Great American Return To Normal™ is coming
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 10, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Capitalism defined, in 1,007 words
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Trump claims he was never notified about coronavirus. Seth Meyers has the receipts
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Nation)
 
 
 
Meet Trump's replacement for Brett Kavanaugh's old seat, a judge with almost no judicial experience, who hates the ACA and is rated as "unqualified" by the ABA. No word if he likes beer or not
source: thenation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Here are 1,400 words about the value of a play that occurs less than once per week in the NFL. Darwin, Goodell, Trump, or anybody please bring back sports to give these writers something to do
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook