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| Wed February 01, 2023 |
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There'll be laughing and singing, and goin' to prison, for dancing in the streets
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Not content with stealing toilet paper, thief steals toilet plumbing, leaving Burger King with a "strange bulge" in her pants
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Dear Penthouse, I mean Abby, I am totally not making this up, no sir
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Dear Penthouse, I mean Abby, I am totally not making this up, no sir
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If only internet fan fiction sites were a thing in the 70s
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Many GOP congressmen are not clever men. Maxine Waters however, is an extremely clever woman. So, it was a REALLY bad idea for Rep. Nick Longworthy to have her as a witness in his "hearing" to denounce "socialism" in the US
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The going price for forgetting to latch the gate just went waaaaaay up
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Florida man in domestic dispute not sure if he wants to channel Ozzie or Alice. Although I don't recall Mr. Cooper actually biting the head off of anything
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| Tue January 24, 2023 |
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Meet Gudrid Thorbjarnardóttir, The Far-Traveled, daughter of Thorbjorn, Owner of the Cat Who Wishes For Boats. She walked to Rome and was the first European woman to give birth in North America (not in that order). She was kinda a big deal
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49ers player celebrates Championship berth in one of the worst possible ways
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A Tractor-trailer passenger who died 35 years ago has finally been identified. Kids, call your folks tonight and let them know you're OK
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Are horses being slaughtered on Florida farms? Neigh
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Grand Theft Pizza
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The most dominant female music artists of the last decade: Adele, Taylor Swift and Sovereign Zig-Zag Allah
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The winningest Canadian golfer in history is now #1 in the PGA, but somehow has only made $10 million during their whole career. Worse, that's $10 million CDN, not $10 million dollar-dollars
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Gunfight in Dodge City, Ks on Wyatt Earp Blvd. Doc Holiday unavailable for comment as he is rolling
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| Fri January 06, 2023 |
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Wells Fargo fires VPee for incident on Air India flight
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You're a flatbed driver hauling heavy machinery and have to make a tight turn. Do you: A. Make the turn and amaze others with your skill. B. Give up and find an alternate route. C. Roll the truck, lose the machinery, and crush a waiting SUV
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Headline: "Man throws beer on five-month-old baby during drunken outburst." First, you are not to waste beer, and secondly, do not EVER assault a child, even if that child was having a drunken outburst
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Headline: "Man throws beer on five-month-old baby during drunken outburst." First, you are not to waste beer, and secondly, do not EVER assault a child, even if that child was having a drunken outburst
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"The only thing I'm guilty of is loving you soooooo much", Says woman who repeatedly poisoned her husband in an attempt to get her hands on his 70 y/o assets
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Las Mujeres Voladoras de México son badasses
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| Fri December 30, 2022 |
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Tonight on Figure Four Friday: On SD, Roman & Sami take on K.O. & the Invisible Man..wait, that's JOHN CENA Then on Rampage: O.C. faces his "Best Friend" Trent for the AA title, Swerve vs Wheeler. It all starts at 8 PM ET on FOX then 10 PM on TNT
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Well, you see, when a man loves a woman very much in Alexandria, they release a baby in a car to the wild
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In Pittsburgh, potholes eat entire cars. Not just busses
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In Pittsburgh, potholes eat entire cars. Not just busses
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Woman mistakes tasmanian devil for dog toy in her home, which means her dog has a toy that spins rapidly in destructive circles while eating everything in its path
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Woman explains why she won't be doing Veganuary ever again. In other news, there's something called Veganuary
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| Wed December 28, 2022 |
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There's no such thing as a "closed-hand slap," especially when it's delivered by a boxer. Facepalm tag, because, well, you know
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Self-proclaimed law student Kim Kardashian said that when she visited the Trump WH to advocate for prison sentence reform she "didn't know half of what anyone was saying" because they were using "obscure "attorney lingo" like "Clemency" and "DOJ"
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Woman quits QAnon because Steve Bannon and Lara Logan won't talk to her about streetlights, or something
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Yokohama city employee spent 275 office hours mastering Solitaire, Sudoku and crosswords on work computer before getting to his comparatively unimportant daily tasks
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Some people pay extra, but in Indonesia its free
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Some people pay extra, but in Indonesia its free
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I'm not gonna lie, that's pretty impressive
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This is why the Postal Service needs new trucks
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Man's behavior at Walmart will lead to him taking a pregnant pause
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| Thu December 15, 2022 |
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Madea's The Crown
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George Costanza is alive and well and living in London
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George Costanza is alive and well and living in London
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Helloooooo, mujeres
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In our city we have a "crime-free" housing ordinance to prevent undesirables from moving in, wink-wink. Federal government: Yeah, I see what you're getting at, and you mean to say you violated the Fair Housing Act and the Civil Rights Act, wink-wink
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Vegas woman accused of hiding stolen $17K watch inside herself. Christopher Walken impressed
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There was a major red flag revealed in the final episode of The White Lotus, but only Zoomers caught it
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What's the last thing a mother should do if she gets caught shoplifting?
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Woman investigates "sad whimper" in her backyard. "I had my headlamp on and I was romping through the brush, looking for a dog, and then it was two giant eyeballs, like, giant skull of a bear"
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TMI, Disney
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Heroic police break into building to save woman from modern art
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Woman shoots, kills two police officers; receives glowing personal, professional profile from Heavy. Sounds about white
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| Tue December 06, 2022 |
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A Virginia restaurant refused to serve customers due to their religious beliefs. That is, the customer's religious beliefs
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♪ Intel inside ♪
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You cook a chicken using a hotel coffee machine ONE time, and it ends up going viral
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"The woman who runs the corner store I frequent has invited me to her holiday cottage for a sex romp but I'm married. What do? (possible nsfw content on page)
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I'm sorry TSA, I forgot the gun was in my fanny pack, I was too busy packing my leg warmers, Walkman, cassette tapes, Cabbage Patch doll and Aquanet to notice
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Suspect who taunted a special needs kid, then knocked out the eye of a woman defending him, is arrested. Surprisingly, Florida isn't mentioned anywhere in the article
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