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headlines found matching 'Wife'

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Wed February 01, 2023
		There'll be laughing and singing, and goin' to prison, for dancing in the streets source: cnn.com \| share:	83
		Ethics complaint filed with Congress and the DOJ alleging that the activities of a spouse of Supreme Court Justice create a conflict of interest that should make her husband recuse himself from most cases. Difficulty: NOT Clarence and Ginny Thomas source: msn.com \| share:	52
		The Merriam-Webster word of the day for February 1 is eleemosynary, as in Holmes studied the fragment of bryophyte and identified it as from Yorkshire. Eleemosynary, my dear Watson source: merriam-webster.com \| share:	20
		"How can I talk my wife into a threesome? I've found the perfect third party" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	26

Tue January 31, 2023
		Australian snake swims clockwise goes UP a drain by mistake. Article says he's a cute, friendly snake, but that's easy to say if you're not sitting on the toilet involved source: upi.com \| share:	19
		Family grateful that they are reunited with their cock... sorry, cockatiel source: wral.com \| share:	24
		Florida woman moved to Florida for lower taxes but bad schools, cheaper housing but higher insurance, less traffic but more drug trafficking, and fewer crowds but Disney source: businessinsider.com \| share:	80

Mon January 30, 2023
		Trump: "Putin is more trustworthy than US intelligence agents." This is not a repeat source: mediaite.com \| share:	124
		"When the sign went digital, the hardware store owner with a unique sense of humor got on his computer, and took it to a new level" source: wdrb.com \| share:	83
		TFG's attorney, in her continuing bid to be wife #4, says Trump is actually winning all these lawsuits that we see him losing source: twitter.com \| share:	130

Sun January 29, 2023
(Some Guy)		"I normally wouldn't mind an automatic 10% tip for making my drink but you're a robot" source: intheknow.com \| share:	124
		Iron Man source: yahoo.com \| share:	17
		What does God need with a Super Bowl ad? source: cnn.com \| share:	191
(Some Guy)		Androcles and the moose source: nsnews.com \| share:	8

Sat January 28, 2023
		David Miscavige is spending some time with his wife right now source: tmz.com \| share:	62

Fri January 27, 2023
		Other than the Korean War, racism, misogyny, McCarthyism, Red Scare, pollution, and the draft, the 50s were a great time to be nostalgic about source: wtop.com \| share:	28
		Man who killed wife tries the "She was asking for it defense" source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	30
		Surprising no one, a pastor is accused of leading a double, nay, a triple life if you include the pastoring as a side hustle source: kiro7.com \| share:	17

Thu January 26, 2023
		Headline: New e-mails link Hunter Biden to wife of recently arrested ex-FBI agent. Story: E-mails were from the lacrosse program that both their daughters participated in source: msn.com \| share:	114
		Florida man known for denying things denies having affair with male staffer source: dailyboulder.com \| share:	103
		Appropriately-named Mr. Snow obsessively collected Flexible Flyer sleds, until his wife told him he had to clean out the garage and basement. Behold, the Flexible Flyer Museum source: njmonthly.com \| share:	57
		At least they picked an appropriate location source: foxnews.com \| share:	23

Wed January 25, 2023
		Gas Pump Razor Blades is the name of my Nine Inch Nails tribute band source: wspa.com \| share:	107
		"My husband keeps spending the night at a platonic female friend's house. Should I be concerned?" source: slate.com \| share:	43
		"My husband keeps spending the night at a platonic female friend's house. Should I be concerned?" source: slate.com \| share:	43

Tue January 24, 2023
		Might wanna take a personal day today source: pitchfork.com \| share:	9
		Matt Schlapp staffers accused of schlapping Schlapp's accuser around. Schlappy schlapp schlapp source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	83
		"My parents kicked me out because they think I ruined their neighbor's marriage when I actually prevented an act of spousal abuse and only later slept with the wife after they separated. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	18
		The PEN is mightier for Lorne Michaels source: apnews.com \| share:	2
		Iron patissiers go to Lyon and win Pastry World Cup, Japan's third such trophy. Their artistic creation was a dessert on the theme of wind and lightness. Back to you, Hattori-san source: japantoday.com \| share:	6

Mon January 23, 2023
		"There's no spark with my wife anymore, but when I interact with women online my loins tingle. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	15
		"There's no spark with my wife anymore, but when I interact with women online my loins tingle. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	15
		It takes a good guy with a gas pump to stop a bad guy with a gas pump source: cbsnews.com \| share:	44

Sun January 22, 2023
		Florida woman decides to administer alternative pain control for terminally ill husband. It was super effective source: npr.org \| share:	78
		Florida woman decides to administer alternative pain control for terminally ill husband. It was super effective source: npr.org \| share:	78

Fri January 20, 2023
		Scotland's oldest person celebrates her 110th birthday by doing what no other Scot has ever done source: dailyrecord.co.uk \| share:	49

Thu January 19, 2023
		Once again for everyone in the back: all the contract killers on the internet are FBI agents source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	73
		Wife of Phillies' Rob Thomson unimpressed he was named one of MLB's more handsome managers, presumably because they failed to factor in his sharp, knobby knees source: ftw.usatoday.com \| share:	8
		Trump: Of course I didn't sexually assault E. Jean Carroll, because she's not my type. Also Trump (when shown a picture of E. Jean Carroll): That's Marla, yeah. That's my wife source: mediaite.com \| share:	126
		Even a warlock finds that boxing Helena is easier than climbing Mount Baldy, probably wishes he'd settled for a room with a view source: abc7.com \| share:	25

Wed January 18, 2023
		Will KUSHIDA send Darby Allin "Back To The Future"? Can Orange Cassidy fend off Jay Lethal? Does Hangman Page know Renee is Jon Moxley's wife? AEW Dynamite starts @ 8pm ET on TBS, the SuperStation. Thank you, Jay Briscoe source: cagesideseats.com \| share:	109
(Some Guy)		Ghostburgers? I'd like place an order for delivery. The address is 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Ask for Joe source: deleciousfood.com \| share:	114
		"My wife's lover described her as dynamite in bed; but with me she's one of those little white pop thingies you give young kids on the 4th of July that are duds half the time. What gives?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	24

Tue January 17, 2023
(Morse code)		Wife pines to be loved by her husband as much as he loves Josh Allen source: newyorkupstate.com \| share:	5
(Some Guy)		TFG goes godfather on DeSantis source: politizoom.com \| share:	62

Mon January 16, 2023
		Vegas Golden Knights goalie fails to save source: apnews.com \| share:	38
		Public defender with no ties to Russian oligarchy suspiciously falls from balcony in Mexico. International investigation underway source: ktla.com \| share:	31
		When you have to write the orbituary for the guy who murdered his entire family but you also know you really need to make some money with that Go Fund Me campaign linked to it source: nypost.com \| share:	80
		Baby named after wife's favorite takeaway dish. Joins siblings Chicken Korma and Doner Kebab source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	65

Sat January 14, 2023
		Don't do the crime if you can't do the time source: yourtango.com \| share:	101
		Couple upset some new wood came to play in their bedroom. So traumatized he moved back to his parents' house source: kron4.com \| share:	17

Fri January 13, 2023
		Not news: republican's wife voted for him. News: More than once. Fark: 22 times more than once source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	56

Thu January 12, 2023
		John Fogerty can no longer be accused of plagarizing his own songs source: ultimateclassicrock.com \| share:	25
		Finnish Hoodraulic Press Guy creates insanely dangerous rotating knives that bolt to an angle grinder, also introduces New Girlfriend 5,000,000 after divorcing his wife of 12 years. Details in the pinned comment source: youtube.com \| share:	31
		Programmer would like to spend more time talking to his wife, Morgan Fairchild, but needs to decrease her latency source: vice.com \| share:	9
		These are not the actions of someone who is sane ... er, I mean expecting exoneration. Also is it too early to start drinking? source: msnbc.com \| share:	78
		"Our granddaughter can't keep a steady job and expects us to keep footing the bill but we don't want to anymore. How do we cut her off?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	13
		"My wife fell in love on vacation and never came back. Can I have her stuff and should I move on?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	31
		"I've become obsessed tracking my wife's vibrator" source: slate.com \| share:	20
		Where does a snowman get the weather report? The winternet. This is your Bad Joke Thursday thread, where there are no puns like snow puns source: thepioneerwoman.com \| share:	37
		Dad spots huge 20ft shark with his drone, becomes Jawsome after guiding lifeguards to save his wife, son and hundreds of swimmers source: thesun.ie \| share:	63

Wed January 11, 2023
		Photoshop this housewife source: pbs.twimg.com \| share:	17
		And just like that, Jerrod Carmichael's future prospects evaporated in a puff of Hubbardian smoke. But still. Absolute legend for doing this source: jezebel.com \| share:	18
		Kevin Costner claims to miss Golden Globes because of storm. A storm that blew the invitation out of the hand of the mail carrier months ago source: ktla.com \| share:	27
		Another First World first for the books as parents claim their 8 year old snow skied on each continent using their wealth. His life will be downhill from here source: ktvu.com \| share:	72
		"I tracked down my daughter's teacher on social media and she's ignoring me. Why is that?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	22
(Some Guy)		I caught my wife cheating on me. We have three kids. Dark, depressing, shocking, there are not enough words to describe the way I feel. I want to die, but I can't do that to my kids. Anyone who's gone through this, I'd really appreciate your advice source: samhsa.gov \| share:	60
		Eddie Murphy verbally slaps Will Smith during acceptance speech for Cecil B. DeMille Award source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	13

Tue January 10, 2023
		The Tuesday Night Science Channel Discussion Thread, 9PM Eastern source: fark.com \| share:	86
(Some Guy)		Dan Savage or ChatGPT? source: savage.love \| share:	6
		Good news, everybody Homer's makeup shot gun is now a reality, get yours now and surprise your wife. Take care of her morning routine in a second by blasting her in the face before she even wakes up source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	36
		Nashville Cop fired after having inappropriate sexual relations with 6 other on-duty cops. In a row source: nypost.com \| share:	172
		Mexican authorities arrest cartel leader El Gato, which is Spanish for The Gato source: yahoo.com \| share:	49
		"I caught my wife with my neighbor's teenage son. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	56

Mon January 09, 2023
		White Sox, Subby's baseball fantasy teams both agree- FARK CANCER source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	5
		Day by day, oh dear lord, it's the 7 p.m. ET MSNBC thread source: msnbc.com \| share:	87
		1. Do not murder your wife. 2. If you do murder your wife, don't tell the police you took your kids for ice cream when you actually went and bought $450 in cleaning supplies and tarps. 3. Do not murder your wife source: cnn.com \| share:	148
		Ahoy hoy, creative Farkers. This is your weekly Arting thread. What's your most challenging project so far and how did you overcome that challenge? source: fark.com \| share:	26
		Pastor and wife get 6 months for forcing homeless people to serve as their personal slave labor force source: onlysky.media \| share:	69

Fri January 06, 2023
		My wife's ex is looking to start doing voice work. I can hook him up with the hardware, but need advice on the software - Audacity and BandCamp are out, what do the real pros use? source: fark.com \| share:	28
		Ginni Thomas just can't stop trying to destabilize and overthrow the government source: huffpost.com \| share:	54
		"My lover wants to have a baby with me, but his wife is currently pregnant. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	23
		Avoid the farmers' market for a while: 86-year-old Michigan man building a 400 mph vehicle source: fox17online.com \| share:	28

Thu January 05, 2023
		And so it starts...TBS drops Dana White's Power Slap for his power slap. Grab some popcorn and watch the flood of sponsors and advertisers of UFC follow suit source: bjpenn.com \| share:	30
		Here it is: the greatest non-apology of all time. "Jesus forgives me for trying to serve my wife's students cupcakes that were made with my semen" source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	132

Wed January 04, 2023
		After his sixth failed vote Kevin McCarthy calls for a break as something is slowly dawning on him that we've all known for YEARS: you can neither reason or bargain with MAGA-publicans, whatever you offer it's never enough source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	183
		My wife shouted, 'quick, grab your phone, we've got a two-legged fox on the lawn' source: bbc.co.uk \| share:	38
		Man quits working to build Airbnb treehouse in his back yard. Now he and his wife can 'watch guests make memories in it'. Are we not doing phrasing anymore? source: msn.com \| share:	10
(Some Guy)		It is illegal for unmarried couples to live together in Saudi Arabia, so it seems Cristiano Ronaldo might have to put a ring on it source: en.as.com \| share:	16
		Funnyman Ron DeSantis brings down the House in inauguration speech source: nypost.com \| share:	82
		The devil made me do it, says driver of devil's ride, who drove off the side at Devil's Slide source: ktvu.com \| share:	42

Tue January 03, 2023
		Calls for Dana White to quit as UFC president after slapping wife on New Year's Eve, which today I learned is apparently not one of the rites of Festivus source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	57
		Man "accidentally" leaves his wife behind after rest stop. That's his story and he's sticking to it source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	56
		Packers Fan Hall of Fame finalist took his wife's surname to literally become 'Mr. Packer' source: tmj4.com \| share:	7
		Ken Block killed in snowmobile crash. No snark for this one. RIP to a modern racing legend source: roadandtrack.com \| share:	147

Mon January 02, 2023
		Scott Stallings proudly shows his wife Jennifer the invitation he received to compete in the Masters Tournament, then forwards it to pro golfer Scott Stallings to share with his wife Jennifer source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	12
		Police offer $10,000 reward for information on elderly couple's murders at retirement community with "extensive security measures and staff in place" because Benoit Blanc is way too expensive source: wesh.com \| share:	37
		Prince Harry tells Anderson Cooper why he's not stepping out of the limelight. He says every thing but the obvious. Money ...... Selling his stupid stories and Netflix specials beats the Management Training at Bloomingdales source: cnn.com \| share:	51
		Thoughtful husband tops up the gas tank so his wife won't have to; is rewarded by instant karma source: whdh.com \| share:	50

Sun January 01, 2023
		I'm not an expert or anything, but I think they have some issues they need to work on source: cbsnews.com \| share:	32

Sat December 31, 2022
		🎵 But I would drive 500 miles / and I would drive 600 more / Just to be the Dad who drove a thousand miles to Denver in the storm 🎵 source: abc7.com \| share:	37

Fri December 30, 2022
		In Pittsburgh, potholes eat entire cars. Not just busses source: wtae.com \| share:	24
		You can hide your money in a chimney for about 7 months out of the year, but those other five carry a risk of it going up in smoke source: metro.co.uk \| share:	17
		"I cheated on my wife and I'm obsessed with digging up dirt on her to use if she finds out. You got any?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	8
		No, you don't get your guns back source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	24
		My wife has had a crap job for more than 20 years. Tonight her boss gifted her a large amount of stock as a thank you. What would you do with it? Difficulty: It's all Tesla stock source: fark.com \| share:	34
		Ask him to tell that to the people standing in his farking parking lot looking for work source: msn.com \| share:	70

Thu December 29, 2022
		The Merriam-Webster word of the day for December 29 is espouse, as in "Jack met his wife on the internet, making her his espouse" source: merriam-webster.com \| share:	7
		The Merriam-Webster word of the day for December 29 is espouse, as in "Jack met his wife on the internet, making her his espouse" source: merriam-webster.com \| share:	7
		Florida man ends year with great sadness, happiness, anger and fear at the same time source: dailyboulder.com \| share:	46

Wed December 28, 2022
		The biggest ISP horror stories of the year? They're Comcastic source: arstechnica.com \| share:	26
		Out in the West Texas town of El Paso 🎶 Three football players were stuck by delay 🎶 The basketball coach showed and he drove them 🎶 Six hundred miles so they could then play.🎶 source: wtae.com \| share:	9
		Car repair hourly rates: $50 if you watch / $100 if you give advice / $150 if you try to help / $500 if you argue over the bill and shoot me to death source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	66

Mon December 26, 2022
		Good news on Christmas? It's a miracle source: times-news.com \| share:	25

Sun December 25, 2022
		Hotel Walmart, you can check out but you still can't leave source: cp24.com \| share:	49

Sat December 24, 2022
		Kush takes a bone saw to his relationship with TFG. I'll bet he did Nazi that coming source: nypost.com \| share:	137
		Venue for couples dying to get married source: yahoo.com \| share:	26
		8 is now greater than 9 source: russianmachineneverbreaks.com \| share:	18
		Murder (okay, manslaughter) pays source: msn.com \| share:	26

Fri December 23, 2022
		You'd be fuming too if a doctor 'played Russian Roulette' with your penis and unnecessarily amputated it. Just sayin' (possible nsfw content on page) source: dailystar.co.uk \| share:	55
		Candace Owens spreads baseless claim, which will just make her more popular with the base source: mediaite.com \| share:	77
		Ten-foot nutcracker stolen. Police on the lookout for people targeting four-foot nuts source: wcvb.com \| share:	16
		Miss Manners agrees with husband who was embarrassed by wife ordering "messy" ribs at dinner source: nj.com \| share:	22

Thu December 22, 2022
		"My ex-wife thinks my new girlfriend is too ugly. What do?" source: slate.com \| share:	34
		Raw eggs? Slosh some and it's a nightmare getting it out of the upholstery or your boss' wife's dress source: thehill.com \| share:	11

Wed December 21, 2022
		Because you're once, twice, three times a [voter] source: huffpost.com \| share:	30
		If you actually have homemade dynamite when you drive into your wife's house can that really be called making a bomb 'threat'? Wouldn't that be what Subby's 4th grade teacher called a promise not a threat? source: lehighvalleylive.com \| share:	23
		There actually was one good lawyer out there. Sadly, that's "was," not is source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	43
(Some Guy)		Local man missing for 7 months discovered dead in his own home. Best hide and seek spot EVAR source: timestribunenews.com \| share:	60
		Josh "Speed Demon" Hawley appeals to his incel base by telling them to stop being incels. Yeah, that's the ticket source: huffpost.com \| share:	132
		Boston Church says come to Christmas Service and you don't have to pretend to be straight. Unitarian Universalist, that explains it source: advocate.com \| share:	58
		There is going to be a lot of friction in this marriage, either the good kind or the bad kind, hard to tell which source: msn.com \| share:	21

Tue December 20, 2022
		Matthew Stafford out for the season: Yes. Matthew Stafford retiring: No source: thespun.com \| share:	13
		Henry Cavill reportedly fired his manager before the whole Superman debacle. Fark: His now former manager Dany Garcia is also Dwayne Johnson's manager. Mega Fark: Garcia is also Johnson's ex-wife source: thedirect.com \| share:	45
		WWE Hall of Famer Hacksaw Jim Duggan held off an home intruder with a pistol until the police arrived. No 2x4's were harmed in the burglary source: comicbook.com \| share:	26
		Must have been crowded with two people and a tornado all in the same closet source: ktbs.com \| share:	27

Sun December 18, 2022
		The secret to a successful modern marriage is to simply never see your spouse source: foxnews.com \| share:	70
		The secret to a successful modern marriage is to simply never see your spouse source: foxnews.com \| share:	70

Sat December 17, 2022
		The party of family values everybody source: msn.com \| share:	74

Fri December 16, 2022
		Ever wonder what Christmas in Florida is like? source: wfla.com \| share:	61
		Water eventually finds it's own level: Todd and Julie Chrisley are heading to Florida source: wfla.com \| share:	23

Thu December 15, 2022
		Florida man arrested for not being able to identify his wife source: wcjb.com \| share:	25

Wed December 14, 2022
		Turns out it wasn't the goose source: dailyvoice.com \| share:	20
		The world's highest-paid clown made over a million dollars last year source: theguardian.com \| share:	21
		Blonde and in a minidress, Aubrey Plaza explains... HEY WAIT FOR THE REST ahh jeez you're gone already well she explains what happened in that unseen sex scene source: rollingstone.com \| share:	32
		Blonde and in a minidress, Aubrey Plaza explains... HEY WAIT FOR THE REST ahh jeez you're gone already well she explains what happened in that unseen sex scene source: rollingstone.com \| share:	32
		People wasted 81.5 million hours watching two incredibly rich people whine about how hard it is being rich and famous source: cnbc.com \| share:	54
		Rock, paper, scissors, gun, window source: wral.com \| share:	27

Tue December 13, 2022
		On this day in history, in 2000, Al Gore conceded the Presidential Election, setting up for years of being called 'Sore Loserman' by people who would go suddenly very quiet on that topic in 2020 source: history.com \| share:	173
		Howard Stern slams Harry & Megan for being rich whiny biatches. "It's like the Kardashians except boring. You know what I mean?" source: variety.com \| share:	33

Mon December 12, 2022
		Coroner rules that man chose to commit suicide by tipping himself out of his mobility scooter into a lagoon of liquid cow shiat... because, given the choice, that is how most of us picture a peaceful, dignified death source: bbc.co.uk \| share:	20
		Lawmakers being terrible at following the law, Part 77 source: businessinsider.com \| share:	23
(Some Guy)		No word on when we can expect to see white smoke from @VaticanHat source: popehat.substack.com \| share:	131
		Takeaway: Authors have massive egos that require constant stroking source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	62
		Christian Walker has set phasers to DESTROY EVERYTHING for those who want to blame him for his father's loss source: mediaite.com \| share:	110
		Subby's hometown newspaper sold to a corp a couple years back, this is now what happens in the obits source: dodgeglobe.com \| share:	89
		Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi eats nails for breakfast. Former New York Mets center fielder Lenny Dykstra unavailable for comment source: mediaite.com \| share:	29
		Tourism Tourism Tourism source: wcax.com \| share:	18

Sun December 11, 2022
		If Herschel Walker's wife hadn't flashed that toy badge, hypocritically paid for all those abortions and mused about China stealing everyone's clean air, maybe he wouldn't have lost source: alternet.org \| share:	69
		"Senator-elect Fetterman cast in Christian Bale period film for his 'face that fits in the 1830s'" source: foxnews.com \| share:	27
		Well, former kayaker anyway source: fox8.com \| share:	36

Sat December 10, 2022
		Man allegedly tries to derail fraud investigation by distracting police with a homicide investigation source: abcnews4.com \| share:	17
		Asinine: Couple's home gets randomly shot up. Also asinine: What a letter received from district attorney's office said afterwards source: wisn.com \| share:	35
		US Soccer journalist Grant Wahl, who was severely critical of World Cup host Qatar's human rights issues; has died while in Qatar at 48 source: si.com \| share:	145

Fri December 09, 2022
		Clickbait 101: Headline "Idaho murders: Convicted killer arrested a mile from university stabbings" FTFA "Police said his arrest on Wednesday was not related to the Nov. 13 home invasion murders nearby" source: yahoo.com \| share:	25
		What's the deal with lawyers getting banned from Madison Square Garden? source: nypost.com \| share:	16

Thu December 08, 2022
		Having ruined the Houston Texans and set back the Alabama offense, Bill O'Brien looks to further deflate the Patriots source: audacy.com \| share:	14
		Apple Music Sing is here to fulfill all your karaoke needs. It's been rumored that if you sing the country ones backwards then you get back your dog, your truck, your wife, and your house source: mashable.com \| share:	8
		A man opens the paper one day, he sees the world is full of misery. He says, "I can help" source: abc7.com \| share:	28
		Somehow it seems that Tucker Carlson has conveniently forgotten to mention the emails he and his wife sent to Hunter Biden thanking him for his help getting their son into college source: snopes.com \| share:	103

Wed December 07, 2022
		Barstool Sports star Francis Ellis offers a fair and balanced assessment of Fox News during a hot-mike moment: "They're just trafficking in hate" source: mediaite.com \| share:	59
		Bruce Willis' family is praying for a Christmas miracle as he remains trapped in the Nakatomi Tower source: msn.com \| share:	110
		So, how did the 'new' Pantera do for their return to the stage? Let's find out source: wrif.com \| share:	41

Tue December 06, 2022
		Patriots want some guy to be man of the year source: wcvb.com \| share:	10
		I thought renting out a cock and a couple hens was British slang for prostitution which explains the awkward bachelor party source: wreg.com \| share:	23
		"The woman who runs the corner store I frequent has invited me to her holiday cottage for a sex romp but I'm married. What do? (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	29
		I guess that's one way to settle a dispute over a laundry room door. Not a good way, but then again, this IS Florida source: wpbf.com \| share:	72
		I guess that's one way to settle a dispute over a laundry room door. Not a good way, but then again, this IS Florida source: wpbf.com \| share:	72
		Steph Curry miraculously makes five full court shots in a row. My wife Morgan Fairchild was there and saw it with her own eyes source: youtube.com \| share:	27

Mon December 05, 2022
		Adam Sandler says he feels 'old' after hip surgery. In other news, Adam Sandler is 56 source: pagesix.com \| share:	27
		How old is 'too old' to start a PhD? source: independent.co.uk \| share:	36
		Maybe the Ring cam caught the dingo eatin' your baby source: cnn.com \| share:	32

Sun December 04, 2022
		TFG hasn't even been reelected yet and he's already losing jobs source: variety.com \| share:	30

Sat December 03, 2022
		Luis Suarez takes a bite out of FIFA after Uruguay crashes out of World Cup source: metro.co.uk \| share:	13

Fri December 02, 2022
		A photo gallery of all the guests who attended Biden's first state dinner with French president Macron. Wait, I don't see any fascists, Nazis, white supremacists, QAnon theorists, Fox News pundits, or ammosexuals. What is this I don't even source: cnn.com \| share:	71
		Time to wear the original black source: tmz.com \| share:	22

Thu December 01, 2022
		Well, if there's anyone who'd serve Macaroni & Cheese at a White House state dinner, it's Joe Bi... hang on, I may have misread that headline source: theguardian.com \| share:	41
		Neighbor of Philadelphia man accused of cutting off his wife's head: "I'm not surprised" source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	78
		Dog The Bounty Hunter's latest partner drops dead during ZOOM call with wife, remind subby to avoid Dog's "Bounty Hunter" offers on LinkedIn source: the-sun.com \| share:	35

Wed November 30, 2022
		JPOW: "We're still going to keep killing you with interest rate hikes... we're just going to do it smaller for longer. You can ask my wife about that" source: cnbc.com \| share:	48
		And now, today's Fark-worthy news story source: apnews.com \| share:	26
		Subby's 95-year-old neighbor isn't asking for much this holiday season. He's just asking for Christmas cards. Let's see if we can help him out. Thank you source: abc6.com \| share:	43

Tue November 29, 2022
		Oooooooooookla-__/\_/\_____/\ ____________ source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	32
		Patrick Mahomes gets replicated again source: yahoo.com \| share:	17
		Representative A. Donald McEachin (D-VA) has died from colorectal cancer at the age 61. Fark Cancer source: apnews.com \| share:	92
		"It's burning up my bank account to have sex with my masseuse and I want it but wish iat were free. What do?' (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	23
		What is the right day to annoy your neighbors? Or at least hang your holiday lights? source: npr.org \| share:	13

Mon November 28, 2022
		Does your family have a bowl dedicated to family vomit? source: buzzfeed.com \| share:	45
		"I never thought Florida Man would eat MY face" source: clickorlando.com \| share:	76
		ABEND source: theregister.com \| share:	15
		For a guy who owns a warehouse full of cars, Jay Leno sure is having trouble handling them lately source: tmz.com \| share:	30

Sun November 27, 2022
		Man thinks he can leave his car unlocked while it's warming up outside his own apartment - forgets the times we live in, the nature of man, the Devil who mocks him, and the uncaring Universe source: wmur.com \| share:	63
		Pyun's Done Dyin' source: variety.com \| share:	14

Fri November 25, 2022
		On this day in history, in 1952, Agatha Christie built a better Mousetrap and the world continues to beat a path to the door source: history.com \| share:	26
		My stepson doesn't like to pay his bills and is moving into more expensive apartment that my wife is cosigning for, when he doesn't pay the rent can I break the lease by saying my wife doesn't speak English well? source: marketwatch.com \| share:	40
		5-year-old boy helps mom deliver baby brother when she suddenly goes into labor at home. Good thing kid had recent experience being born himself source: kshb.com \| share:	6
		5-year-old boy helps mom deliver baby brother when she suddenly goes into labor at home. Good thing kid had recent experience being born himself source: kshb.com \| share:	6
		Biden offers pie bribes, extorts emergency responder equipment for his family's personal use source: apnews.com \| share:	29

Thu November 24, 2022
		The King is dead. Long live European hockey source: tsn.ca \| share:	9
		Indiana police officer and wife adopt an infant girl who was dropped off at a baby box when she was less than a day old source: people.com \| share:	55

Wed November 23, 2022
		One of the "perks" of working at Yeezy was apparently exclusive screenings of Kim/Kanye amatuer porn videos source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	39

Tue November 22, 2022
		Not only did America win with Fetterman becoming Senator, American women got a strong new ally in his wife Gisele source: cnbc.com \| share:	194
		"How do I know if my wife is cheating on me with her male coworkers? I have no proof but I assume because I need to really believe this" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	13

Mon November 21, 2022
		Bibi found to legally not be mentally ill source: bbc.com \| share:	34
		Sobriety is not for everyone. Ask your doctor if sobriety is right for you. Better yet, ask if sobriety is right for your doctor source: medpagetoday.com \| share:	55

Sun November 20, 2022
		Elderly couple attacked at Elton John concert two nights earlier than is alright source: ktla.com \| share:	88
		Elderly couple attacked at Elton John concert two nights earlier than is alright source: ktla.com \| share:	88
		Robert Fripp and Toyah cover Metallica's "Squeek" -- ermm, "Seek And Destroy" source: consequence.net \| share:	22
		This is why we DO deserve dogs source: tmj4.com \| share:	48

Fri November 18, 2022
		Kim Jong-Un reveals his 9 year-old daughter to the world for the first time, was feeling shamed by Herschel Walker source: businessinsider.com \| share:	43
		Jeff Goldblum on being a dad at 70: I was so preoccupied ... well, you know source: today.com \| share:	24
		How to get out of jail on capital murder charges after shooting wife in front of your child: 1) Sign up for "nine-month Christ-centered residential recovery program for men who struggle with substance abuse" source: whnt.com \| share:	74

Thu November 17, 2022
		Fisker's EV SUV A-OK source: bnnbloomberg.ca \| share:	14
		Now that Anthony Rizzo has a new contract with the Yankees, he thinks Aaron Judge should stay "for the good of baseball." And by "for the good of baseball," he means "for the good of Anthony Rizzo to hit behind" source: espn.com \| share:	10

Wed November 16, 2022
		Woman dances with Obamas, dies source: buzzfeednews.com \| share:	54
		Gavin Newsom's wife exchanges testes with Harvey Weinstein's lawyer, or something source: insider.com \| share:	10
(Marquee)		Free Jason Heyward. Cub fans freely invite you to take advantage of signing this World Series champion to your club source: marqueesportsnetwork.com \| share:	12

Tue November 15, 2022
		Famous Cop Killer and Syndicate member says, "These MFs have been trying to Cancel me for 30 years" Al Gore's wife Tipper nods furiously source: msn.com \| share:	54

Mon November 14, 2022
		Oath keeper's wife says he went into battle wearing diapers source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	102
		How common are female psychopaths? I asked my wife this question but she was too busy plotting my untimely death to answer source: bbc.com \| share:	200
		Subby is thinking of a good casserole for Thanksgiving. What casserole is your personal favorite? source: fark.com \| share:	43
		Dear Deidre, my wife recently got promoted with a big pay raise and now she's having an affair with her boss. Does one thing have to do with other or is this just a coincidence? (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	17

Sun November 13, 2022
		On this day in history, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. That request came from his wife (and now you're humming the Odd Couple theme) source: cheatsheet.com \| share:	43
		How many of you Farkers still actively listen to your cassettes? source: huffpost.com \| share:	46

Sat November 12, 2022
		Having declared your menu ahead of time, you were under no obligation to change it based on your friends' critique source: eastbaytimes.com \| share:	33
		Centipede in the mall arcade? Awesome. Centipede in the mall food court? Not awesome source: asiaone.com \| share:	3

Fri November 11, 2022
		Husband and wife who were Lake Havasu City grade-school teachers fired for also providing sex ed via distance learning source: abc15.com \| share:	68
		Texas man drugs pregnant wife with abortion medications. No word when he'll be hit with the attempted murder charges source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	66
		Falcons' Jake Matthews woke up in Charlotte and found out his wife was in labor. He could not get a flight back to Atlanta, so he decided to drive. His boy was born at around 3pm, and flew back to Charlotte at 3:30 to play against the Panthers source: sportingnews.com \| share:	12

Thu November 10, 2022
		Couple sentenced for trying to sell nuclear secrets for $100,000 in cryptocurrency. No word on how many BlyaatCoin that works out to source: kiro7.com \| share:	53
		But what does the actress who played the wife on Everybody Loves Raymond think about the election? source: twitter.com \| share:	182

Wed November 09, 2022
		Alabama's guitarist Cook cooked at 73 source: cnn.com \| share:	15

Tue November 08, 2022
		"When I saw John Lennon's face in my mate's pint, it was a bit spooky, it felt like a sign. I was minding my own business and just glanced down and happened to see it. It also made us laugh for ages. It's been a joke between us ever since" source: nypost.com \| share:	20
		Neil Gaiman and his wife Amanda Palmer's 11-year "open marriage" is about to get much more open source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	150

Mon November 07, 2022
		Then God said 'fark this house in particular' source: abc7chicago.com \| share:	64

Sat November 05, 2022
		Aaron Paul decides to change his name. He shall henceforth be known as...Aaron Paul source: yahoo.com \| share:	19

Fri November 04, 2022
		Rabbit offers trick-or-treaters carrot source: pennlive.com \| share:	23
		Sure the UK is going to hell in a handbasket with prices going through the roof, no food on the shelves and Meghan and Harry trying to destroy the monarchy, but the new PM is copping fresh criticism over his lavish $900 Prada shoes source: 9news.com.au \| share:	55
		Republican-nominated Michigan Supreme Court Justice Brian Zahra tried to prevent Michigan's Reproductive Freedom For All proposal from being on the ballot. Soooo guess what his ex-wife said he paid for while they were in both in college in the 1980s source: detroitnews.com \| share:	45

Thu November 03, 2022
		Missing court due to a broken truck, that's a bench warrant. Turning yourself in to vacate bench warrant and trying to call your wife to tell her you're going to jail, that's a take down, resisting arrest charge, and broken arm source: lehighvalleylive.com \| share:	87
(Some Guy)		Ted Cruz complains that 'the rich' are not sharing the wealth. Still silent about the rich calling his wife ugly source: cablefreetv.org \| share:	61
		The litter box in schools story? Joe Rogan admits he made it up source: mediaite.com \| share:	285
(Some November Birthday Dude)		What's the opposite of November? Yesvember. This is your Bad Joke Thursday thread, where some people really hate that SEPTember, OCTober, NOVember, and DECember aren't the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months source: humornama.com \| share:	49

Wed November 02, 2022
(Some Guy)		Psychotherapist on "how to find out what's behind your anger". In subby's case, it's just MORE anger source: mindbodygreen.com \| share:	13
		Texas Pastor who "stepped aside" from the pulpit due to "an unwise relationship" with "a woman who is not his wife" has seen the error of his ways and "wisened up"; and plans to "step back" into the same pulpit "soon" source: dallasnews.com \| share:	58
		Desperate Russian draftees have essentially turned into John C. McGinley from Platoon source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	70
		Judge: "Hey you morons, you can't sit there with guns watching people cast their ballots" source: cnn.com \| share:	47

Tue November 01, 2022
		The Tuesday Night Science Channel Discussion Thread, 9PM Eastern source: fark.com \| share:	79
		If you win $30 million in the lottery, obviously you don't want your wife and kid finding out source: msn.com \| share:	53
		Dear Annie my son and daughter-in-law won't let me see my grandkids just because their baby ate some meth at my house source: nj.com \| share:	110
		Seven Hump Wump wins trophy in Halloween costume contest, required 3 generations of a family to make it work source: patch.com \| share:	52
		Donald Faison and his daughter won Halloween by dressing up as Murray and Dionne from "Clueless." Next, he will teach her that street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression source: scarymommy.com \| share:	41
		Bono reflects on 40 years of marriage, regrets leaving Cher source: cnn.com \| share:	36

Mon October 31, 2022
		"How can I determine if my wife is faking her chronic illness?" source: slate.com \| share:	23

Sat October 29, 2022
		After many years of holding back, Michael Imperioli finally reveals all the details about what happened in the ending scene of The Sop-- source: mediaite.com \| share:	35
(Please help)		The wife of a good buddy of mine needs a kidney transplant. Please share this link far and wide, and do whatcha can. Note: I said KIDNEY transplant. Lord knows I wouldn't be asking Farkers for a functioning liver source: helpbianca.net \| share:	27

Fri October 28, 2022
		It's like TotalFark, but like for squirrels, bro source: msn.com \| share:	22
		Sucks when your home insurance company cancels your policy the night before CAT-4 Hurricane Ian comes ashore, even if it's illegal source: wfla.com \| share:	26
		All I learned about management I learned from A) The West Wing B) Glengarry Glen Ross C) Mystery Science Theater 3000 source: hot1047.com \| share:	22

Thu October 27, 2022
		Can Oz overcome the fact he killed Dr. Richard Kimball's wife? source: dailykos.com \| share:	103
		"After sixteen years, my wife just admitted to cheating on me with my best friend friend. What. Do.?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	34
		"Spirit Halloween doesn't like your fake costume memes" source: rollingstone.com \| share:	56

Wed October 26, 2022
		Heeeeere's Jenny source: nbclosangeles.com \| share:	105
		Well, schitt source: nbcnews.com \| share:	12
		Kurt Warner says NFC #4 seed quarterback looks exhausted and suggests it's okay to walk away source: yahoo.com \| share:	20
		James Cameron, who is making four sequels to a movie no one gives a shiat about anymore, criticizes Marvel and DC movies saying "that's not the way to make movies" source: thewrap.com \| share:	112
		Bono, who has a book coming out: "The IRA tried to kill me." Gerry Adams, former Sinn Féin but not IRA leader: "I didn't order that, just like I didn't order Songs of Innocence" source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk \| share:	51

Tue October 25, 2022
		Trump's future 4th ex-wife sits for a deposition with the January 6th Committee source: msn.com \| share:	39
		Rishi Sunak, the new British prime minister, is somewhere between 5'5" and 5'7", depending if you use the metric system or something source: gawker.com \| share:	48
		My wife, Morgan Fairchild, reporting on certain unwise investments made on Trump stuff by a certain GA Rep: it's not going well source: twitter.com \| share:	71
		You put the wrong middle initial on my paycheck? How about I put five bullets in your face? source: kdvr.com \| share:	73
		Harvey Weinstein's lawyers are using the tried and true "Call the governor's wife a bimbo" defense. Let's see how it works out for him source: variety.com \| share:	25

Mon October 24, 2022
		No wonder the Bucs lost to the Panthers, Tom Brady was apparently too busy texting Ron DeSantis source: huffpost.com \| share:	76
		Olympic halfpipe skier lost a bet with his wife by winning a bronze medal; she got to pick his tattoo: "Good But Not The Best" source: olympics.nbcsports.com \| share:	12
		Oh shiat, my wife source: twitter.com \| share:	12
		"My lover is good to me, except when he plays happy family with his wife and kids. I mean, he has to be playing, right? He wouldn't be pretending with me, would he?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	15
		So how old is too old to go trick-or-treating? source: pennlive.com \| share:	35

Sun October 23, 2022
		"Blood pressure medication is destroying my sex life. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	20
		Kanye West tries to claim he plagiarized an idea plagiarized by plagiarist Quentin Tarantino source: deadline.com \| share:	48
		Don't you just hate it when you bought a home but the strangers there refuse to leave? source: fox43.com \| share:	109

Sat October 22, 2022
		Man sentenced for killing wife over "refusal to perform wifely duties", which apparently included opening an unlicensed massage parlor and performing sex acts on strangers for money source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	93
		No shiat source: nbcnews.com \| share:	241

Thu October 20, 2022
(Some Guy)		Firefighter loses home in blaze of irony source: wdhn.com \| share:	19
		Brad Raffensperger's wife to then Senator Loeffler: "I hold you personally responsible for anything that happens to any of my family, from my husband, children and grandchildren" source: ajc.com \| share:	53

Wed October 19, 2022
		"I'm really upset my lover is cheating on me. Sure, I'm cheating too so it's hypocrisy, but come on. I'm a dude" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	13

Tue October 18, 2022
		Four story rest home collapses in Naples. Bodies of the dead left in place as officials begin investigation source: theguardian.com \| share:	30
		'House of the Dragon' producer baffled that Matt Smith's psychotic wife-killing Daemon Targaryen has become "Internet Boyfriend": "They're all, 'Oh, daddy' And I'm just like: 'Really?'" source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	83
		Claire found something as white and bland as mayo that she can't stand source: lifehacker.com \| share:	13
		After serving time for hiring a hitman to murder his ex-wife, As I Lay Dying's Tim Lambesis admits "I could have handled this a thousand different ways." First thing would be not to hire a hitman source: yahoo.com \| share:	34

Mon October 17, 2022
		If you're a Republican running for Congress and complaining that the Biden economy is so bad that you and your wife couldn't afford to lose a month's worth of salary, make sure you actually earn a salary and aren't just pulling daddy trust fund cash source: businessinsider.com \| share:	40
		Mexican priest suspended for giving American sermon source: cbsnews.com \| share:	53

Sun October 16, 2022
		Pool boy involved in Jerry Falwell Jr. sandwich describes Falwell's behavior during their first threesome as "disconcerting" source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	97
		Trump tried to extort a business partner for Melania because of course he did source: politicususa.com \| share:	137
(Some Guy)		Someone noticed cows never get AIDS and are generous with foreplay source: headtopics.com \| share:	18
		Twin-engine prop plane makes emergency landing on busy Dallas street, hits power line, speed limit sign on the way down source: fox7austin.com \| share:	21
		Twin-engine prop plane makes emergency landing on busy Dallas street, hits power line, speed limit sign on the way down source: fox7austin.com \| share:	21
		Timing is everything, says this woman who just won half a million dollars source: insider.com \| share:	11

Thu October 13, 2022
		We should all aspire to one day own a "fark hut" of our own source: vanityfair.com \| share:	29

Wed October 12, 2022
		"I told my wife I would leave her if she went in vacation without me. She jetted off without me, but I'm still here. Should I leave?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	29
		Mitch McConnell follows the Ted Cruz tradition of not standing up for his wife when a doddering, old, "AlPhA MaLe" attacks her. More like Biatch McConnell, amirite? source: twitter.com \| share:	82

Tue October 11, 2022
		The Tuesday Night Science Channel Discussion Thread, 9PM Eastern source: fark.com \| share:	60
		Woman calls police to report domestic violence. Then things get weird; like, really weird source: katv.com \| share:	42
		Madoff fried Bacon source: nypost.com \| share:	31
		SCOTUS denied (6-3) the appeal of a TX man convicted of murder, a black man, murdering his white wife, by an all white jury, 4 of whom strongly oppose interracial marriage. The defendant's lawyer didn't mind. SCOTUS did not mind source: twitter.com \| share:	130
		Emily Ratajkowski is saying there's a chance. Not for me, for my wife source: msn.com \| share:	86
		"My lover promised me everything but he's still with his family. This has been going on for 16 years. Should I keep waiting?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	19

Mon October 10, 2022
		Uvalde schools superintendent decides this may be a good time to start spending his days on the golf course source: cnn.com \| share:	57
		Oh, just one more thing, Captain source: slashfilm.com \| share:	21
		NY Post: hey Florida, it's been a week since that hurricane and you're still talking about it? Move on, man source: nypost.com \| share:	58
		Li'l Kimmy says his missile tests simulated striking South with tactical nuclear weapons not unlike the way Li'l Subby's own missile tests have simulated striking your wife, Morgan Fairchild, with tactical nuclear sex bombs source: theguardian.com \| share:	57
		British engineer's warning to fans thinking about a trip to the World Cup in Qatar. They issued a farking Interpol "red notice" over an unpaid bank loan of £20k, how do you think the morality police will respond to your away day shenanigans? source: theguardian.com \| share:	4
		Lee Zeldin's house not so holy, with a whole lotta shots source: cbsnews.com \| share:	26

Fri October 07, 2022
		Rudy Giuliani Jail Watch. No, it's not a new piece of MAGA fundraising swag; apparently Dizzoner needed to pay his ex-wife yesterday or go into custody source: twitter.com \| share:	68
		Well, bye source: outkick.com \| share:	101
		Fancy golf course wedding, ✓. Argument with the spouse, ✓. Drive into water hazard out of spite, ✓. Bonus: Get the wedding party banned from having events there for 2 years. ✓ and ✓ source: golfdigest.com \| share:	19

Thu October 06, 2022
		Between chess masters having their butts scanned and Biden dropping an F-bomb, there are too many jokes to fill a headline. Instead, here's a generic this is your nightly MSNBC thread, tonight at 7PM EDT source: msnbc.com \| share:	231
		รีเซ็ตนาฬิกา source: apnews.com \| share:	42

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