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headlines found matching 'Wife'
Wed February 01, 2023
(CNN)
 
 
 
There'll be laughing and singing, and goin' to prison, for dancing in the streets
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Ethics complaint filed with Congress and the DOJ alleging that the activities of a spouse of Supreme Court Justice create a conflict of interest that should make her husband recuse himself from most cases. Difficulty: NOT Clarence and Ginny Thomas
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Merriam-Webster)
 
 
 
The Merriam-Webster word of the day for February 1 is eleemosynary, as in Holmes studied the fragment of bryophyte and identified it as from Yorkshire. Eleemosynary, my dear Watson
source: merriam-webster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"How can I talk my wife into a threesome? I've found the perfect third party" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 31, 2023
(UPI)
 
 
 
Australian snake swims clockwise goes UP a drain by mistake. Article says he's a cute, friendly snake, but that's easy to say if you're not sitting on the toilet involved
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Family grateful that they are reunited with their cock... sorry, cockatiel
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Florida woman moved to Florida for lower taxes but bad schools, cheaper housing but higher insurance, less traffic but more drug trafficking, and fewer crowds but Disney
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 30, 2023
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Trump: "Putin is more trustworthy than US intelligence agents." This is not a repeat
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
"When the sign went digital, the hardware store owner with a unique sense of humor got on his computer, and took it to a new level"
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
TFG's attorney, in her continuing bid to be wife #4, says Trump is actually winning all these lawsuits that we see him losing
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 29, 2023
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"I normally wouldn't mind an automatic 10% tip for making my drink but you're a robot"
source: intheknow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Iron Man
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What does God need with a Super Bowl ad?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Hero
 
Androcles and the moose
source: nsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 28, 2023
(TMZ)
 
 
 
David Miscavige is spending some time with his wife right now
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 27, 2023
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Other than the Korean War, racism, misogyny, McCarthyism, Red Scare, pollution, and the draft, the 50s were a great time to be nostalgic about
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Man who killed wife tries the "She was asking for it defense"
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Surprising no one, a pastor is accused of leading a double, nay, a triple life if you include the pastoring as a side hustle
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 26, 2023
(MSN)
 
 
 
Headline: New e-mails link Hunter Biden to wife of recently arrested ex-FBI agent. Story: E-mails were from the lacrosse program that both their daughters participated in
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Boulder)
 
 
 
Florida man known for denying things denies having affair with male staffer
source: dailyboulder.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey Monthly)
 
 
 
Appropriately-named Mr. Snow obsessively collected Flexible Flyer sleds, until his wife told him he had to clean out the garage and basement. Behold, the Flexible Flyer Museum
source: njmonthly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
At least they picked an appropriate location
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 25, 2023
(WSPA)
 
 
 
Gas Pump Razor Blades is the name of my Nine Inch Nails tribute band
source: wspa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My husband keeps spending the night at a platonic female friend's house. Should I be concerned?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My husband keeps spending the night at a platonic female friend's house. Should I be concerned?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 24, 2023
(Pitchfork)
 
 
 
Might wanna take a personal day today
source: pitchfork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Matt Schlapp staffers accused of schlapping Schlapp's accuser around. Schlappy schlapp schlapp
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"My parents kicked me out because they think I ruined their neighbor's marriage when I actually prevented an act of spousal abuse and only later slept with the wife after they separated. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The PEN is mightier for Lorne Michaels
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Iron patissiers go to Lyon and win Pastry World Cup, Japan's third such trophy. Their artistic creation was a dessert on the theme of wind and lightness. Back to you, Hattori-san
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 23, 2023
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"There's no spark with my wife anymore, but when I interact with women online my loins tingle. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"There's no spark with my wife anymore, but when I interact with women online my loins tingle. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
It takes a good guy with a gas pump to stop a bad guy with a gas pump
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 22, 2023
(NPR)
 
 
 
Florida woman decides to administer alternative pain control for terminally ill husband. It was super effective
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Florida woman decides to administer alternative pain control for terminally ill husband. It was super effective
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 20, 2023
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Scotland's oldest person celebrates her 110th birthday by doing what no other Scot has ever done
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 19, 2023
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Once again for everyone in the back: all the contract killers on the internet are FBI agents
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Wife of Phillies' Rob Thomson unimpressed he was named one of MLB's more handsome managers, presumably because they failed to factor in his sharp, knobby knees
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Trump: Of course I didn't sexually assault E. Jean Carroll, because she's not my type. Also Trump (when shown a picture of E. Jean Carroll): That's Marla, yeah. That's my wife
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Even a warlock finds that boxing Helena is easier than climbing Mount Baldy, probably wishes he'd settled for a room with a view
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 18, 2023
(Cageside Seats)
 
 
 
Will KUSHIDA send Darby Allin "Back To The Future"? Can Orange Cassidy fend off Jay Lethal? Does Hangman Page know Renee is Jon Moxley's wife? AEW Dynamite starts @ 8pm ET on TBS, the SuperStation. Thank you, Jay Briscoe
source: cagesideseats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ghostburgers? I'd like place an order for delivery. The address is 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Ask for Joe
source: deleciousfood.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"My wife's lover described her as dynamite in bed; but with me she's one of those little white pop thingies you give young kids on the 4th of July that are duds half the time. What gives?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 17, 2023
(Morse code)
 
 
 
Wife pines to be loved by her husband as much as he loves Josh Allen
source: newyorkupstate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
TFG goes godfather on DeSantis
source: politizoom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 16, 2023
(AP News)
 
 
 
Vegas Golden Knights goalie fails to save
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Public defender with no ties to Russian oligarchy suspiciously falls from balcony in Mexico. International investigation underway
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
When you have to write the orbituary for the guy who murdered his entire family but you also know you really need to make some money with that Go Fund Me campaign linked to it
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Baby named after wife's favorite takeaway dish. Joins siblings Chicken Korma and Doner Kebab
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 14, 2023
(YourTango)
 
 
 
Don't do the crime if you can't do the time
source: yourtango.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
Couple upset some new wood came to play in their bedroom. So traumatized he moved back to his parents' house
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 13, 2023
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Not news: republican's wife voted for him. News: More than once. Fark: 22 times more than once
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 12, 2023
(Ultimate Classic Rock)
 
 
 
John Fogerty can no longer be accused of plagarizing his own songs
source: ultimateclassicrock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Finnish Hoodraulic Press Guy creates insanely dangerous rotating knives that bolt to an angle grinder, also introduces New Girlfriend 5,000,000 after divorcing his wife of 12 years. Details in the pinned comment
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Programmer would like to spend more time talking to his wife, Morgan Fairchild, but needs to decrease her latency
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
These are not the actions of someone who is sane ... er, I mean expecting exoneration. Also is it too early to start drinking?
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"Our granddaughter can't keep a steady job and expects us to keep footing the bill but we don't want to anymore. How do we cut her off?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"My wife fell in love on vacation and never came back. Can I have her stuff and should I move on?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"I've become obsessed tracking my wife's vibrator"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Pioneer Woman)
 
 
 
Where does a snowman get the weather report? The winternet. This is your Bad Joke Thursday thread, where there are no puns like snow puns
source: thepioneerwoman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
Hero
 
Dad spots huge 20ft shark with his drone, becomes Jawsome after guiding lifeguards to save his wife, son and hundreds of swimmers
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 11, 2023
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this housewife
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
Hero
 
And just like that, Jerrod Carmichael's future prospects evaporated in a puff of Hubbardian smoke. But still. Absolute legend for doing this
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Kevin Costner claims to miss Golden Globes because of storm. A storm that blew the invitation out of the hand of the mail carrier months ago
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Another First World first for the books as parents claim their 8 year old snow skied on each continent using their wealth. His life will be downhill from here
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"I tracked down my daughter's teacher on social media and she's ignoring me. Why is that?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
I caught my wife cheating on me. We have three kids. Dark, depressing, shocking, there are not enough words to describe the way I feel. I want to die, but I can't do that to my kids. Anyone who's gone through this, I'd really appreciate your advice
source: samhsa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Eddie Murphy verbally slaps Will Smith during acceptance speech for Cecil B. DeMille Award
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 10, 2023
(Fark)
 
 
 
The Tuesday Night Science Channel Discussion Thread, 9PM Eastern
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Dan Savage or ChatGPT?
source: savage.love   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Good news, everybody Homer's makeup shot gun is now a reality, get yours now and surprise your wife. Take care of her morning routine in a second by blasting her in the face before she even wakes up
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Nashville Cop fired after having inappropriate sexual relations with 6 other on-duty cops. In a row
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Mexican authorities arrest cartel leader El Gato, which is Spanish for The Gato
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"I caught my wife with my neighbor's teenage son. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 09, 2023
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
White Sox, Subby's baseball fantasy teams both agree- FARK CANCER
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Day by day, oh dear lord, it's the 7 p.m. ET MSNBC thread
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
1. Do not murder your wife. 2. If you do murder your wife, don't tell the police you took your kids for ice cream when you actually went and bought $450 in cleaning supplies and tarps. 3. Do not murder your wife
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Ahoy hoy, creative Farkers. This is your weekly Arting thread. What's your most challenging project so far and how did you overcome that challenge?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OnlySky)
 
 
 
Pastor and wife get 6 months for forcing homeless people to serve as their personal slave labor force
source: onlysky.media   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 06, 2023
(Fark)
 
Audio
 
My wife's ex is looking to start doing voice work. I can hook him up with the hardware, but need advice on the software - Audacity and BandCamp are out, what do the real pros use?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Ginni Thomas just can't stop trying to destabilize and overthrow the government
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"My lover wants to have a baby with me, but his wife is currently pregnant. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Avoid the farmers' market for a while: 86-year-old Michigan man building a 400 mph vehicle
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 05, 2023
(BJ Penn)
 
 
 
And so it starts...TBS drops Dana White's Power Slap for his power slap. Grab some popcorn and watch the flood of sponsors and advertisers of UFC follow suit
source: bjpenn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Here it is: the greatest non-apology of all time. "Jesus forgives me for trying to serve my wife's students cupcakes that were made with my semen"
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 04, 2023
(ABC News)
 
 
 
After his sixth failed vote Kevin McCarthy calls for a break as something is slowly dawning on him that we've all known for YEARS: you can neither reason or bargain with MAGA-publicans, whatever you offer it's never enough
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
My wife shouted, 'quick, grab your phone, we've got a two-legged fox on the lawn'
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Man quits working to build Airbnb treehouse in his back yard. Now he and his wife can 'watch guests make memories in it'. Are we not doing phrasing anymore?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It is illegal for unmarried couples to live together in Saudi Arabia, so it seems Cristiano Ronaldo might have to put a ring on it
source: en.as.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Funnyman Ron DeSantis brings down the House in inauguration speech
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
The devil made me do it, says driver of devil's ride, who drove off the side at Devil's Slide
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 03, 2023
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Calls for Dana White to quit as UFC president after slapping wife on New Year's Eve, which today I learned is apparently not one of the rites of Festivus
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man "accidentally" leaves his wife behind after rest stop. That's his story and he's sticking to it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Packers Fan Hall of Fame finalist took his wife's surname to literally become 'Mr. Packer'
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Road & Track)
 
 
 
Ken Block killed in snowmobile crash. No snark for this one. RIP to a modern racing legend
source: roadandtrack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 02, 2023
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Scott Stallings proudly shows his wife Jennifer the invitation he received to compete in the Masters Tournament, then forwards it to pro golfer Scott Stallings to share with his wife Jennifer
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Police offer $10,000 reward for information on elderly couple's murders at retirement community with "extensive security measures and staff in place" because Benoit Blanc is way too expensive
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Prince Harry tells Anderson Cooper why he's not stepping out of the limelight. He says every thing but the obvious. Money ...... Selling his stupid stories and Netflix specials beats the Management Training at Bloomingdales
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Thoughtful husband tops up the gas tank so his wife won't have to; is rewarded by instant karma
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 01, 2023
(CBS News)
 
 
 
I'm not an expert or anything, but I think they have some issues they need to work on
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 31, 2022
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
Hero
 
🎵 But I would drive 500 miles / and I would drive 600 more / Just to be the Dad who drove a thousand miles to Denver in the storm 🎵
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 30, 2022
(WTAE)
 
 
 
In Pittsburgh, potholes eat entire cars. Not just busses
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You can hide your money in a chimney for about 7 months out of the year, but those other five carry a risk of it going up in smoke
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"I cheated on my wife and I'm obsessed with digging up dirt on her to use if she finds out. You got any?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
No, you don't get your guns back
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
My wife has had a crap job for more than 20 years. Tonight her boss gifted her a large amount of stock as a thank you. What would you do with it? Difficulty: It's all Tesla stock
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Ask him to tell that to the people standing in his farking parking lot looking for work
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 29, 2022
(Merriam-Webster)
 
 
 
The Merriam-Webster word of the day for December 29 is espouse, as in "Jack met his wife on the internet, making her his espouse"
source: merriam-webster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Merriam-Webster)
 
 
 
The Merriam-Webster word of the day for December 29 is espouse, as in "Jack met his wife on the internet, making her his espouse"
source: merriam-webster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Boulder)
 
 
 
Florida man ends year with great sadness, happiness, anger and fear at the same time
source: dailyboulder.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 28, 2022
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
The biggest ISP horror stories of the year? They're Comcastic
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
Hero
 
Out in the West Texas town of El Paso 🎶 Three football players were stuck by delay 🎶 The basketball coach showed and he drove them 🎶 Six hundred miles so they could then play.🎶
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Car repair hourly rates: $50 if you watch / $100 if you give advice / $150 if you try to help / $500 if you argue over the bill and shoot me to death
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 26, 2022
(Cumberland Times-News)
 
 
 
Good news on Christmas? It's a miracle
source: times-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 25, 2022
(CP24 Toronto)
 
 
 
Hotel Walmart, you can check out but you still can't leave
source: cp24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 24, 2022
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Kush takes a bone saw to his relationship with TFG. I'll bet he did Nazi that coming
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Venue for couples dying to get married
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russian Machine Never Breaks)
 
 
 
8 is now greater than 9
source: russianmachineneverbreaks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Murder (okay, manslaughter) pays
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 23, 2022
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
You'd be fuming too if a doctor 'played Russian Roulette' with your penis and unnecessarily amputated it. Just sayin' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Candace Owens spreads baseless claim, which will just make her more popular with the base
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Ten-foot nutcracker stolen. Police on the lookout for people targeting four-foot nuts
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Miss Manners agrees with husband who was embarrassed by wife ordering "messy" ribs at dinner
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 22, 2022
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My ex-wife thinks my new girlfriend is too ugly. What do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Raw eggs? Slosh some and it's a nightmare getting it out of the upholstery or your boss' wife's dress
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 21, 2022
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Because you're once, twice, three times a [voter]
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
If you actually have homemade dynamite when you drive into your wife's house can that really be called making a bomb 'threat'? Wouldn't that be what Subby's 4th grade teacher called a promise not a threat?
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
Hero
 
There actually was one good lawyer out there. Sadly, that's "was," not is
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Local man missing for 7 months discovered dead in his own home. Best hide and seek spot EVAR
source: timestribunenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Josh "Speed Demon" Hawley appeals to his incel base by telling them to stop being incels. Yeah, that's the ticket
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
Boston Church says come to Christmas Service and you don't have to pretend to be straight. Unitarian Universalist, that explains it
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
There is going to be a lot of friction in this marriage, either the good kind or the bad kind, hard to tell which
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 20, 2022
(The Spun)
 
 
 
Matthew Stafford out for the season: Yes. Matthew Stafford retiring: No
source: thespun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Direct)
 
 
 
Henry Cavill reportedly fired his manager before the whole Superman debacle. Fark: His now former manager Dany Garcia is also Dwayne Johnson's manager. Mega Fark: Garcia is also Johnson's ex-wife
source: thedirect.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comic Book)
 
 
 
WWE Hall of Famer Hacksaw Jim Duggan held off an home intruder with a pistol until the police arrived. No 2x4's were harmed in the burglary
source: comicbook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTBS Shreveport)
 
 
 
Must have been crowded with two people and a tornado all in the same closet
source: ktbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 18, 2022
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The secret to a successful modern marriage is to simply never see your spouse
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The secret to a successful modern marriage is to simply never see your spouse
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 17, 2022
(MSN)
 
 
 
The party of family values everybody
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 16, 2022
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what Christmas in Florida is like?
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Water eventually finds it's own level: Todd and Julie Chrisley are heading to Florida
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 15, 2022
(WCJB Gainesville)
 
 
 
Florida man arrested for not being able to identify his wife
source: wcjb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 14, 2022
(Daily Voice)
 
 
 
Turns out it wasn't the goose
source: dailyvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The world's highest-paid clown made over a million dollars last year
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Blonde and in a minidress, Aubrey Plaza explains... HEY WAIT FOR THE REST ahh jeez you're gone already well she explains what happened in that unseen sex scene
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Blonde and in a minidress, Aubrey Plaza explains... HEY WAIT FOR THE REST ahh jeez you're gone already well she explains what happened in that unseen sex scene
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
People wasted 81.5 million hours watching two incredibly rich people whine about how hard it is being rich and famous
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Rock, paper, scissors, gun, window
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 13, 2022
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 2000, Al Gore conceded the Presidential Election, setting up for years of being called 'Sore Loserman' by people who would go suddenly very quiet on that topic in 2020
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Howard Stern slams Harry & Megan for being rich whiny biatches. "It's like the Kardashians except boring. You know what I mean?"
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 12, 2022
(BBC)
 
 
 
Coroner rules that man chose to commit suicide by tipping himself out of his mobility scooter into a lagoon of liquid cow shiat... because, given the choice, that is how most of us picture a peaceful, dignified death
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Lawmakers being terrible at following the law, Part 77
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
No word on when we can expect to see white smoke from @VaticanHat
source: popehat.substack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Takeaway: Authors have massive egos that require constant stroking
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Christian Walker has set phasers to DESTROY EVERYTHING for those who want to blame him for his father's loss
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dodge Globe)
 
 
 
Subby's hometown newspaper sold to a corp a couple years back, this is now what happens in the obits
source: dodgeglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi eats nails for breakfast. Former New York Mets center fielder Lenny Dykstra unavailable for comment
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Tourism Tourism Tourism
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 11, 2022
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
If Herschel Walker's wife hadn't flashed that toy badge, hypocritically paid for all those abortions and mused about China stealing everyone's clean air, maybe he wouldn't have lost
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"Senator-elect Fetterman cast in Christian Bale period film for his 'face that fits in the 1830s'"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Well, former kayaker anyway
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 10, 2022
(ABC 4 Charleston)
 
 
 
Man allegedly tries to derail fraud investigation by distracting police with a homicide investigation
source: abcnews4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISN Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Asinine: Couple's home gets randomly shot up. Also asinine: What a letter received from district attorney's office said afterwards
source: wisn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
US Soccer journalist Grant Wahl, who was severely critical of World Cup host Qatar's human rights issues; has died while in Qatar at 48
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 09, 2022
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Clickbait 101: Headline "Idaho murders: Convicted killer arrested a mile from university stabbings" FTFA "Police said his arrest on Wednesday was not related to the Nov. 13 home invasion murders nearby"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
What's the deal with lawyers getting banned from Madison Square Garden?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 08, 2022
(Audacy)
 
 
 
Having ruined the Houston Texans and set back the Alabama offense, Bill O'Brien looks to further deflate the Patriots
source: audacy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Apple Music Sing is here to fulfill all your karaoke needs. It's been rumored that if you sing the country ones backwards then you get back your dog, your truck, your wife, and your house
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
Hero
 
A man opens the paper one day, he sees the world is full of misery. He says, "I can help"
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Somehow it seems that Tucker Carlson has conveniently forgotten to mention the emails he and his wife sent to Hunter Biden thanking him for his help getting their son into college
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 07, 2022
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Barstool Sports star Francis Ellis offers a fair and balanced assessment of Fox News during a hot-mike moment: "They're just trafficking in hate"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Bruce Willis' family is praying for a Christmas miracle as he remains trapped in the Nakatomi Tower
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRIF Detroit)
 
 
 
So, how did the 'new' Pantera do for their return to the stage? Let's find out
source: wrif.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 06, 2022
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Patriots want some guy to be man of the year
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
I thought renting out a cock and a couple hens was British slang for prostitution which explains the awkward bachelor party
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"The woman who runs the corner store I frequent has invited me to her holiday cottage for a sex romp but I'm married. What do? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
I guess that's one way to settle a dispute over a laundry room door. Not a good way, but then again, this IS Florida
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
I guess that's one way to settle a dispute over a laundry room door. Not a good way, but then again, this IS Florida
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Steph Curry miraculously makes five full court shots in a row. My wife Morgan Fairchild was there and saw it with her own eyes
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 05, 2022
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Adam Sandler says he feels 'old' after hip surgery. In other news, Adam Sandler is 56
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
How old is 'too old' to start a PhD?
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Maybe the Ring cam caught the dingo eatin' your baby
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 04, 2022
(Variety)
 
 
 
TFG hasn't even been reelected yet and he's already losing jobs
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 03, 2022
(Metro)
 
 
 
Luis Suarez takes a bite out of FIFA after Uruguay crashes out of World Cup
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 02, 2022
(CNN)
 
 
 
A photo gallery of all the guests who attended Biden's first state dinner with French president Macron. Wait, I don't see any fascists, Nazis, white supremacists, QAnon theorists, Fox News pundits, or ammosexuals. What is this I don't even
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Time to wear the original black
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 01, 2022
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Well, if there's anyone who'd serve Macaroni & Cheese at a White House state dinner, it's Joe Bi... hang on, I may have misread that headline
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Neighbor of Philadelphia man accused of cutting off his wife's head: "I'm not surprised"
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Dog The Bounty Hunter's latest partner drops dead during ZOOM call with wife, remind subby to avoid Dog's "Bounty Hunter" offers on LinkedIn
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 30, 2022
(CNBC)
 
 
 
JPOW: "We're still going to keep killing you with interest rate hikes... we're just going to do it smaller for longer. You can ask my wife about that"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
And now, today's Fark-worthy news story
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 6 Providence)
 
 
 
Subby's 95-year-old neighbor isn't asking for much this holiday season. He's just asking for Christmas cards. Let's see if we can help him out. Thank you
source: abc6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 29, 2022
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Oooooooooookla-__/\_/\_____/\ ____________
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Patrick Mahomes gets replicated again
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Representative A. Donald McEachin (D-VA) has died from colorectal cancer at the age 61. Fark Cancer
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"It's burning up my bank account to have sex with my masseuse and I want it but wish iat were free. What do?' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
What is the right day to annoy your neighbors? Or at least hang your holiday lights?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 28, 2022
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Does your family have a bowl dedicated to family vomit?
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
"I never thought Florida Man would eat MY face"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
ABEND
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
For a guy who owns a warehouse full of cars, Jay Leno sure is having trouble handling them lately
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 27, 2022
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Man thinks he can leave his car unlocked while it's warming up outside his own apartment - forgets the times we live in, the nature of man, the Devil who mocks him, and the uncaring Universe
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Pyun's Done Dyin'
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 25, 2022
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1952, Agatha Christie built a better Mousetrap and the world continues to beat a path to the door
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
My stepson doesn't like to pay his bills and is moving into more expensive apartment that my wife is cosigning for, when he doesn't pay the rent can I break the lease by saying my wife doesn't speak English well?
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(41 Action News)
 
 
 
5-year-old boy helps mom deliver baby brother when she suddenly goes into labor at home. Good thing kid had recent experience being born himself
source: kshb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(41 Action News)
 
 
 
5-year-old boy helps mom deliver baby brother when she suddenly goes into labor at home. Good thing kid had recent experience being born himself
source: kshb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Biden offers pie bribes, extorts emergency responder equipment for his family's personal use
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 24, 2022
(TSN)
 
 
 
The King is dead. Long live European hockey
source: tsn.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
Hero
 
Indiana police officer and wife adopt an infant girl who was dropped off at a baby box when she was less than a day old
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 23, 2022
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
One of the "perks" of working at Yeezy was apparently exclusive screenings of Kim/Kanye amatuer porn videos
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 22, 2022
(CNBC)
 
Hero
 
Not only did America win with Fetterman becoming Senator, American women got a strong new ally in his wife Gisele
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"How do I know if my wife is cheating on me with her male coworkers? I have no proof but I assume because I need to really believe this" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 21, 2022
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Bibi found to legally not be mentally ill
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medpage Today)
 
 
 
Sobriety is not for everyone. Ask your doctor if sobriety is right for you. Better yet, ask if sobriety is right for your doctor
source: medpagetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 20, 2022
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Elderly couple attacked at Elton John concert two nights earlier than is alright
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Elderly couple attacked at Elton John concert two nights earlier than is alright
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Consequence)
 
 
 
Robert Fripp and Toyah cover Metallica's "Squeek" -- ermm, "Seek And Destroy"
source: consequence.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMJ4 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
This is why we DO deserve dogs
source: tmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 18, 2022
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Kim Jong-Un reveals his 9 year-old daughter to the world for the first time, was feeling shamed by Herschel Walker
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Jeff Goldblum on being a dad at 70: I was so preoccupied ... well, you know
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
How to get out of jail on capital murder charges after shooting wife in front of your child: 1) Sign up for "nine-month Christ-centered residential recovery program for men who struggle with substance abuse"
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 17, 2022
(BNNBloomberg)
 
 
 
Fisker's EV SUV A-OK
source: bnnbloomberg.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Now that Anthony Rizzo has a new contract with the Yankees, he thinks Aaron Judge should stay "for the good of baseball." And by "for the good of baseball," he means "for the good of Anthony Rizzo to hit behind"
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 16, 2022
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Woman dances with Obamas, dies
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Gavin Newsom's wife exchanges testes with Harvey Weinstein's lawyer, or something
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marquee)
 
 
 
Free Jason Heyward. Cub fans freely invite you to take advantage of signing this World Series champion to your club
source: marqueesportsnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 15, 2022
(MSN)
 
 
 
Famous Cop Killer and Syndicate member says, "These MFs have been trying to Cancel me for 30 years" Al Gore's wife Tipper nods furiously
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 14, 2022
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Oath keeper's wife says he went into battle wearing diapers
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
How common are female psychopaths? I asked my wife this question but she was too busy plotting my untimely death to answer
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Subby is thinking of a good casserole for Thanksgiving. What casserole is your personal favorite?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Dear Deidre, my wife recently got promoted with a big pay raise and now she's having an affair with her boss. Does one thing have to do with other or is this just a coincidence? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 13, 2022
(The Cheat Sheet)
 
 
 
On this day in history, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence. That request came from his wife (and now you're humming the Odd Couple theme)
source: cheatsheet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
How many of you Farkers still actively listen to your cassettes?
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 12, 2022
(East Bay Times)
 
 
 
Having declared your menu ahead of time, you were under no obligation to change it based on your friends' critique
source: eastbaytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
Centipede in the mall arcade? Awesome. Centipede in the mall food court? Not awesome
source: asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 11, 2022
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Husband and wife who were Lake Havasu City grade-school teachers fired for also providing sex ed via distance learning
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Texas man drugs pregnant wife with abortion medications. No word when he'll be hit with the attempted murder charges
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sporting News)
 
 
 
Falcons' Jake Matthews woke up in Charlotte and found out his wife was in labor. He could not get a flight back to Atlanta, so he decided to drive. His boy was born at around 3pm, and flew back to Charlotte at 3:30 to play against the Panthers
source: sportingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 10, 2022
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Couple sentenced for trying to sell nuclear secrets for $100,000 in cryptocurrency. No word on how many BlyaatCoin that works out to
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
But what does the actress who played the wife on Everybody Loves Raymond think about the election?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 09, 2022
(CNN)
 
 
 
Alabama's guitarist Cook cooked at 73
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 08, 2022
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"When I saw John Lennon's face in my mate's pint, it was a bit spooky, it felt like a sign. I was minding my own business and just glanced down and happened to see it. It also made us laugh for ages. It's been a joke between us ever since"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Neil Gaiman and his wife Amanda Palmer's 11-year "open marriage" is about to get much more open
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 07, 2022
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Then God said 'fark this house in particular'
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 05, 2022
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Aaron Paul decides to change his name. He shall henceforth be known as...Aaron Paul
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 04, 2022
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Rabbit offers trick-or-treaters carrot
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Sure the UK is going to hell in a handbasket with prices going through the roof, no food on the shelves and Meghan and Harry trying to destroy the monarchy, but the new PM is copping fresh criticism over his lavish $900 Prada shoes
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Republican-nominated Michigan Supreme Court Justice Brian Zahra tried to prevent Michigan's Reproductive Freedom For All proposal from being on the ballot. Soooo guess what his ex-wife said he paid for while they were in both in college in the 1980s
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 03, 2022
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Missing court due to a broken truck, that's a bench warrant. Turning yourself in to vacate bench warrant and trying to call your wife to tell her you're going to jail, that's a take down, resisting arrest charge, and broken arm
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ted Cruz complains that 'the rich' are not sharing the wealth. Still silent about the rich calling his wife ugly
source: cablefreetv.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
The litter box in schools story? Joe Rogan admits he made it up
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some November Birthday Dude)
 
 
 
What's the opposite of November? Yesvember. This is your Bad Joke Thursday thread, where some people really hate that SEPTember, OCTober, NOVember, and DECember aren't the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months
source: humornama.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 02, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Psychotherapist on "how to find out what's behind your anger". In subby's case, it's just MORE anger
source: mindbodygreen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Texas Pastor who "stepped aside" from the pulpit due to "an unwise relationship" with "a woman who is not his wife" has seen the error of his ways and "wisened up"; and plans to "step back" into the same pulpit "soon"
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Desperate Russian draftees have essentially turned into John C. McGinley from Platoon
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
Hero
 
Judge: "Hey you morons, you can't sit there with guns watching people cast their ballots"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 01, 2022
(Fark)
 
 
 
The Tuesday Night Science Channel Discussion Thread, 9PM Eastern
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
If you win $30 million in the lottery, obviously you don't want your wife and kid finding out
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Dear Annie my son and daughter-in-law won't let me see my grandkids just because their baby ate some meth at my house
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Seven Hump Wump wins trophy in Halloween costume contest, required 3 generations of a family to make it work
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scary Mommy)
 
 
 
Donald Faison and his daughter won Halloween by dressing up as Murray and Dionne from "Clueless." Next, he will teach her that street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression
source: scarymommy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bono reflects on 40 years of marriage, regrets leaving Cher
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 31, 2022
(Slate)
 
 
 
"How can I determine if my wife is faking her chronic illness?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 29, 2022
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
After many years of holding back, Michael Imperioli finally reveals all the details about what happened in the ending scene of The Sop--
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Please help)
 
 
 
The wife of a good buddy of mine needs a kidney transplant. Please share this link far and wide, and do whatcha can. Note: I said KIDNEY transplant. Lord knows I wouldn't be asking Farkers for a functioning liver
source: helpbianca.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 28, 2022
(MSN)
 
 
 
It's like TotalFark, but like for squirrels, bro
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Sucks when your home insurance company cancels your policy the night before CAT-4 Hurricane Ian comes ashore, even if it's illegal
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hot 104.7 Sioux Falls)
 
 
 
All I learned about management I learned from A) The West Wing B) Glengarry Glen Ross C) Mystery Science Theater 3000
source: hot1047.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 27, 2022
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Can Oz overcome the fact he killed Dr. Richard Kimball's wife?
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"After sixteen years, my wife just admitted to cheating on me with my best friend friend. What. Do.?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
"Spirit Halloween doesn't like your fake costume memes"
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 26, 2022
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Heeeeere's Jenny
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Well, schitt
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Kurt Warner says NFC #4 seed quarterback looks exhausted and suggests it's okay to walk away
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Wrap)
 
 
 
James Cameron, who is making four sequels to a movie no one gives a shiat about anymore, criticizes Marvel and DC movies saying "that's not the way to make movies"
source: thewrap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Bono, who has a book coming out: "The IRA tried to kill me." Gerry Adams, former Sinn Féin but not IRA leader: "I didn't order that, just like I didn't order Songs of Innocence"
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 25, 2022
(MSN)
 
 
 
Trump's future 4th ex-wife sits for a deposition with the January 6th Committee
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Rishi Sunak, the new British prime minister, is somewhere between 5'5" and 5'7", depending if you use the metric system or something
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
My wife, Morgan Fairchild, reporting on certain unwise investments made on Trump stuff by a certain GA Rep: it's not going well
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
You put the wrong middle initial on my paycheck? How about I put five bullets in your face?
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Harvey Weinstein's lawyers are using the tried and true "Call the governor's wife a bimbo" defense. Let's see how it works out for him
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 24, 2022
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
No wonder the Bucs lost to the Panthers, Tom Brady was apparently too busy texting Ron DeSantis
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Sports)
 
 
 
Olympic halfpipe skier lost a bet with his wife by winning a bronze medal; she got to pick his tattoo: "Good But Not The Best"
source: olympics.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Oh shiat, my wife
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"My lover is good to me, except when he plays happy family with his wife and kids. I mean, he has to be playing, right? He wouldn't be pretending with me, would he?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
So how old is too old to go trick-or-treating?
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 23, 2022
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"Blood pressure medication is destroying my sex life. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Kanye West tries to claim he plagiarized an idea plagiarized by plagiarist Quentin Tarantino
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you bought a home but the strangers there refuse to leave?
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 22, 2022
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Man sentenced for killing wife over "refusal to perform wifely duties", which apparently included opening an unlicensed massage parlor and performing sex acts on strangers for money
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
No shiat
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 20, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Firefighter loses home in blaze of irony
source: wdhn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Brad Raffensperger's wife to then Senator Loeffler: "I hold you personally responsible for anything that happens to any of my family, from my husband, children and grandchildren"
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 19, 2022
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"I'm really upset my lover is cheating on me. Sure, I'm cheating too so it's hypocrisy, but come on. I'm a dude" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 18, 2022
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Four story rest home collapses in Naples. Bodies of the dead left in place as officials begin investigation
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
'House of the Dragon' producer baffled that Matt Smith's psychotic wife-killing Daemon Targaryen has become "Internet Boyfriend": "They're all, 'Oh, daddy' And I'm just like: 'Really?'"
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Claire found something as white and bland as mayo that she can't stand
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
After serving time for hiring a hitman to murder his ex-wife, As I Lay Dying's Tim Lambesis admits "I could have handled this a thousand different ways." First thing would be not to hire a hitman
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 17, 2022
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
If you're a Republican running for Congress and complaining that the Biden economy is so bad that you and your wife couldn't afford to lose a month's worth of salary, make sure you actually earn a salary and aren't just pulling daddy trust fund cash
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Mexican priest suspended for giving American sermon
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 16, 2022
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Pool boy involved in Jerry Falwell Jr. sandwich describes Falwell's behavior during their first threesome as "disconcerting"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Trump tried to extort a business partner for Melania because of course he did
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Someone noticed cows never get AIDS and are generous with foreplay
source: headtopics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 7 Austin)
 
 
 
Twin-engine prop plane makes emergency landing on busy Dallas street, hits power line, speed limit sign on the way down
source: fox7austin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 7 Austin)
 
 
 
Twin-engine prop plane makes emergency landing on busy Dallas street, hits power line, speed limit sign on the way down
source: fox7austin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Timing is everything, says this woman who just won half a million dollars
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 13, 2022
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
We should all aspire to one day own a "fark hut" of our own
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 12, 2022
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"I told my wife I would leave her if she went in vacation without me. She jetted off without me, but I'm still here. Should I leave?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Mitch McConnell follows the Ted Cruz tradition of not standing up for his wife when a doddering, old, "AlPhA MaLe" attacks her. More like Biatch McConnell, amirite?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 11, 2022
(Fark)
 
 
 
The Tuesday Night Science Channel Discussion Thread, 9PM Eastern
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATV Little Rock)
 
 
 
Woman calls police to report domestic violence. Then things get weird; like, really weird
source: katv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Madoff fried Bacon
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
SCOTUS denied (6-3) the appeal of a TX man convicted of murder, a black man, murdering his white wife, by an all white jury, 4 of whom strongly oppose interracial marriage. The defendant's lawyer didn't mind. SCOTUS did not mind
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Emily Ratajkowski is saying there's a chance. Not for me, for my wife
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"My lover promised me everything but he's still with his family. This has been going on for 16 years. Should I keep waiting?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 10, 2022
(CNN)
 
 
 
Uvalde schools superintendent decides this may be a good time to start spending his days on the golf course
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
Oh, just one more thing, Captain
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NY Post: hey Florida, it's been a week since that hurricane and you're still talking about it? Move on, man
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Li'l Kimmy says his missile tests simulated striking South with tactical nuclear weapons not unlike the way Li'l Subby's own missile tests have simulated striking your wife, Morgan Fairchild, with tactical nuclear sex bombs
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
British engineer's warning to fans thinking about a trip to the World Cup in Qatar. They issued a farking Interpol "red notice" over an unpaid bank loan of £20k, how do you think the morality police will respond to your away day shenanigans?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Lee Zeldin's house not so holy, with a whole lotta shots
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 07, 2022
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Rudy Giuliani Jail Watch. No, it's not a new piece of MAGA fundraising swag; apparently Dizzoner needed to pay his ex-wife yesterday or go into custody
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Outkick)
 
 
 
Well, bye
source: outkick.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Golf Digest)
 
 
 
Fancy golf course wedding, ✓. Argument with the spouse, ✓. Drive into water hazard out of spite, ✓. Bonus: Get the wedding party banned from having events there for 2 years. ✓ and ✓
source: golfdigest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 06, 2022
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Between chess masters having their butts scanned and Biden dropping an F-bomb, there are too many jokes to fill a headline. Instead, here's a generic this is your nightly MSNBC thread, tonight at 7PM EDT
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
รีเซ็ตนาฬิกา
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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