headlines found matching 'War' NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Fri May 22, 2020 |
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First it was Flu Klux Klan rallies at the Capitol, then the dams breaking in Midland, now a live Civil War cannonball found at a recycling center in West Michigan. Subby is going to hole up in Detroit for his own safety
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People are taking advantage of the warm weather and the lockdown nearing its end to overdose with fentanyl-laced drugs
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| (Parade.com) |
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The 50 greatest war movies to watch during Memorial Day weekend and further cement your belief that you're just not cut out for war
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The real takeaway here is that Warren Buffett can lose $7,000,000,000 on his last 7 trades and still be the third richest man in the entire world
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Enjoy the commencement speech for a special class of graduates delivered by two-time Academy award nominee, John Malkovich
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New study of 90,000 COVID patients finds those who took hydroxychloroquine were twice as likely to die, had dangerous heart complications. That sucking sound you hear is the lawyers warming up their malpractice lawsuits
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GOP Senate candidate: 'Let's simply take national media and shut it down
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Has the true origin of Evil Morty been revealed, or has Rick & Morty pulled another fast one? [WARNING: SPOILERS]
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| Wed May 20, 2020 |
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Things you can do with a Sushi Bazooka. And will just put a NSFW warning on it just to be safe
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CAN Moxley get his belt back before Double or Nothing? WILL Riddle be out for Thatcher's blood? DOES Jake the Snake whip out the ol' DDT for ol' Double-A? The Wednesday Night Wars continue @ 8pm EDT on TNT, USA
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YOU get a Webby Award, YOU get a Webby, YOU get a Webby. EVERYBODY gets a Webby
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Rain once again forecast, this time for the Cup drivers. Will they be effective counterprogramming for the Wednesday Night Wars, or is Vince McMahon doing a rain dance? It's the Toyota 500K at Darlington, beginning as 6:00 PM EDT on FS1
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Sen. Ron Johnson and Martha MacCallum want to know why Barack Obama didn't warn Donald Trump about Gen. Mike Flynn, a thing that Barack Obama absolutely did
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"Expect traffic delays" officials warn ahead of Chik-fil-A opening. Also, expect disappointment and a general sense of being creeped out
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According to Trump, victims of the Coronavirus are "people who have been left behind who died for some reason." No word on what the f*ck that means
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In CAS of emergency, try out this BRRRRTTTiful A-10 Warthog mask. Oh, and there's something about charity too
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"Hot" Russian nurse in male-only ward now faces a sacking for wearing just "lingerie" beneath her highly transparent PPE gear
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That's SIR Tom Moore to you, whippersnapper (possible nsfw content on page)
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| Fri May 15, 2020 |
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The war of fee fees has begun. First lawmaker to introduce resolution to impeach Governor for reasons, unhinged, uninfringed
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Imagine if Trump had been president in 1940
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Teach a man to start a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life, and the DC police will be looking for you
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Trump launches Operation Warp Speed, promises that a Covid-19 vaccine will make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, once the Ferengi take their cut
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Bank of America on the new world order: Bigger governments, tech wars, less privacy, 'health the new wealth,' dogs and cats considering if they want to live together
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So kids having heart attacks is what we have to look forward to. Sure there's an R.E.M. song we could use as reference but we won't
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Warned three times by different agencies, nevertheless he persisted
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| Thu May 14, 2020 |
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Not news: android spyware thriving and conniving on the Google Play Store. News: for four years
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Lindsay Graham's surprising rebuff and warning to Cadet Bone Spur on his demand that Obama testify in the Russia/Flynn investigation: "I understand President Trump's frustration, but be careful what you wish for. Just be careful what you wish for"
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Having run out of films to do a retrospective on, author has to resort to reviewing Brad Pitt's wardrobe on Ocean's Twelve, which, to be fair, was pretty stylish
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White House named project to produce and distribute COVID-19 vaccine "Operation Warp Speed". Tag brought to you by Captain Jean-Luc Picard
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Star Wars fans "outraged" after Lucasfilm exec dares to call a franchise about space wizards and laser swords "fake" when discussing what is and is not canon
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All the new WFH didn't really affect the UK's broadband in March, but a new Call of Duty: Modern Warfare patch really kicked it in the knickers
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If you think cooling off is tougher than heating up, you're getting warmer
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You'll be no doubt shocked to learn that in a factual dispute between Sen. "I have a plan for that" Warren and Press Secretary Barbie, the numbers are 100% on Warren's side
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| (Some Guy) |
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This week's serving of vintage 80's alt/goth/post-punk/new wave includes a tribute & sendoff for Florian Schneider & David Greenfield. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #133. Starts @ 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
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113-year-old woman survives two world wars, Spanish flu and now coronavirus in order to keep her grip on the Oldest Woman in Spain title
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Newb who doesnt understand how hardware cycles work is in awe over the hardware in the PS5 and how it dominates PC equivalents currently on the market. Because obviously nothing will change after today and technology will be frozen in time
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Shockingly enough, older Americans dying off left and right is having a profound impact on their opinions towards Trump
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"One day he will go too far, say something unforgivable - too vulgar, sexist or crude - and be fired or forced to resign." Difficulty: Donald Trump or Howard Stern? Why not both?
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Brace yourself for the glorious idiocy of the anti-vaxxer civil war
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| Wed May 13, 2020 |
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Underwater drones discover a battleship that survived both World Wars, atomic blasts, innumerable game sinkings, and that really dreadful movie
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WILL Hardy & Omega get revenge on Santana & Ortiz? Can Finn Balor beat the beard attached to Cameron Grimes? WHO will be sacrificed to the Native Beast at DoN 2? The Wednesday Night Wars rage on @ 8pm EDT on TNT, USA
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Chinese warmongers: The US Fleet is down with coronavirus and unable to defend Taiwan, invade now. Communist party leadership: Patience, grasshopper, for we ourselves are not yet strong enough
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Over several months, Molly the dwarf horse born with leg deformities learns to run
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Texas decides not to pay after a ransomware attack, so there will be no more decisions issued by the Texas Supreme Court or the Court of Criminal Appeals
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My constitutional right to infect you with coronavirus shall NOT BE INFRINGED
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DOJ warns US companies that China is trying to steal their Coronavirus research and encourages them to improve cyber-security. Not Explained: why having more people work on a cure for Covid-19 is a BAD thing, or why the data isn't freely available
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Group runs anti-Trump ad on Fox News. "Our nation's founders fought a war to get rid of a king. So when they wrote our Constitution, they designed a government in which everybody ― even Trump― must obey the law." Difficulty: Republican group
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"I tried a virtual wine tasting and it wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it would be". Man, things must be pretty bad if people are drinking virtual wine
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NFL to closely monitor restart of football in Europe, unclear why there are so few forward passes
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Will a global depression trigger another world war? Maybe, but what is it good for?
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Will a global depression trigger another world war? Maybe, but what is it good for?
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China must pay. We'll sue 'em and threaten them and tariff them to death. Don't tread on us. DIFFICULTY: "Over the past decade, in U.S. war games against China, the United States has a nearly perfect record: We have lost almost every single time"
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Howard Stern: "The people who are voting for Trump for the most part... he wouldn't even let them in a f---ing hotel. He'd be disgusted by them. Go to Mar-a-Lago, see if there's any people who look like you. I'm talking to you in the audience"
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"I'm sure Mitch is aware that a grown ass black man who happens to be a former president has agency to speak his mind on how his successor is managing this crisis, especially since his successor has yet to keep 'his mouth shut' about him.'"
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Remember the Howard Hessman sitcom Head of the Class? Yeah, it's getting a reboot
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| Thu May 07, 2020 |
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GOP-controlled Senate successfully upholds Trump's veto of Iran War Powers resolution
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"Deepfakes" may not have the election impact feared because people stopped believing everything they see on the internet after that warning from Abraham Lincoln
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The 1990s baseball award voters had no idea what they were doing, voting for the likes of Bob Welch, Terry Pendleton, and Juan Gonzalez ahead of Clemens, Bonds, and Griffey based on defective old-school stats and sentimental storylines
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We may be in a global pandemic and about to be overrun by murder hornets, but at least we're not going to war with China. Oh crap
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U.S. pushing forward with building a live-action Fallout theme park
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University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School predicts 350,000 coronavirus deaths by end of June if we re-open everything. Fortunately our president attended that school and will no doubt heed its warning
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Woman who was paid by Jacob Wohl and Zipper Burkman to lie about Anthony Fauci sexually assaulting her comes forward to tell her side of the story and oh lordy, she has a tape
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| (Some New Wave Guy) |
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This week's serving of vintage 80's alt/goth/post-punk/new wave includes Suicide, The Au Pairs, Propaganda, and a Robin Guthrie remix. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #132. Starts @ 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
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Wacky Japanese food, video games, and an excessive amount of pop culture are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, April 19-25: Martha Stewart Edition
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Because, as everyone knows, the guys who blow up planets are the heroes of Star Wars, and they win in the end
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WHO warns of Coronavirus Boomerang, which doesn't have the same ring to the rest of their albums
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United backs off plan to ground 15,000 employees and make them part-time after union steps up
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FDA and FTC send warning to QAnon conspiracy site for pushing insane Coronavirus conspiracy theories
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| Tue May 05, 2020 |
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Right-Wing charlatan Jesse Duplantis: God rewarded my faith with a brand new private jet
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Florida so terrible that 72yo woman flees toward Coronavirus hot spot
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Army medic to COVID heroes: Post-traumatic stress is not something to ignore so take care of yourselves
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Trump says he's been treated worse than Lincoln. Presidential Historian Doris Goodwin says Lincoln would disagree - and she'd know, she made her bones covering the Civil War
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Here's the 2020 James Beard Awards Finalists. If any are near you, give them a shot
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Coronavirus could keep theaters closed for a year, warn people clearly unfamiliar with prominent American death cults
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Good news: the number of new NY coronavirus cases are headed down. Bad news: the number of national coronavirus cases, excluding NY, are headed up. Farkward: if you put the two together, new coronavirus cases are looking...flat
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2020 Noble Prizes awarded
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A Covid-19 vaccine may not be ready any time soon, especially when the U.S. government refuses to put any money towards it
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In his latest legal troubles, Trump leans awkwardly forward alone
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Endgame's War Machine mystery has been solved by the writers who sort of left that plot point dangling
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Star Wars: The Empire Strike Back turns 40 this year, so here are some ultra-detailed affordable action figures to celebrate the only good movie of the nine
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We tried to warn you that messing around with illegal drugs will get you sick but you didn't listen, Kidd
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| Mon May 04, 2020 |
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Get off to a shaky start, slowly improve over 6 seasons, get canceled, and come back 6 years later better than ever: 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars' unlocks secret recipe to create the perfect series finale
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Pretty much every mainline Star Wars video game ever, ranked worst-to-first. Somehow, Star Wars Kinect isn't in the bottom 5
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The kooked-up Marianne Williamson zombie presidential campaign is still pushing forward, screwing over vendors "with love" along its kooked-up way
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Vader and his stormtroopers enforce lockdown in Philippine village on Star Wars Day because of force they did
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In which the jam-packed, confusing season three finale of Westworld is explained [WARNING: SPOILERS]
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Last night's episode of Rick & Morty gave us the best look at the surreality of quarantine living [WARNING: SPOILERS]
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Amazon exec resigns, citing company's chickenshiat attitude towards worker protests
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Warren Buffett says Berkshire Hathaway sold its entire stakes in the four largest U.S. airline carriers. Must be time to buy
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"Experts" warn that there may be academic consequences to having a generation of elementary-aged kids home schooled by day-drinkers
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In today's Fark News that Matters™, that Donkey Kong high score defamation suit continues to barrel onward
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"Abraham Lincoln also wore lifts and leaned forward like the front half of a centaur, believe me"
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The Trump campaign is celebrating Star Wars day with a video of Yoda chopping off clone trooper's heads poorly mocked up to be CNN and MSNBC. Support the troops
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Right on, Smart Self-aware Person, right on
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Sixty years ago a police officer pulled over Martin Luther King for driving with a white woman. The officer won the battle but King won the war
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Star Wars? Pfffft. 5/4 is Dave Brubeck Day
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"Millennials are poised to become the largest employable sector of society very soon" says yet another article unaware that most of are now thirty years old
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LockBit is looking like the ransomware for the gig economy
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50 years ago today on the Kent State campus, four students were killed and nine wounded, shot by National Guardsmen for having the audacity to use their First Amendment rights to protest the Vietnam War's expansion into Cambodia
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| (Some Guy) |
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Experts politely warn us that we're coming to the edge of a big discharge of seamen
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Elizabeth Warren is the odds-on favorite for Biden's VP
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War College professor on protesters demanding the immediate reopening of hair and nail salons: "It's a stage toddlers go through, but they grow out of it. This is permanent childhood"
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| Mon April 27, 2020 |
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New measurments reaffirm variations in the fine structure constant. This has major implications for fundamental physics, but probably won't result in a warp drive anytime soon
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NBC News chief pens op-ed calling out Trump, the guy he has bent over backwards for 40 plus months, for his attacks on the media. His attacks on the handicapped, women, trans soldiers, veterans, Muslims, Latinos, children and decency still ok apparently
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A Zoom powered acting lesson with Sir Patrick Stewart, or his synthetic body, to benefit pandemic relief? Make it so
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Since the treasonweasels in our midst are back to white knighting known traitor Michael Flynn, here's a list of some of the more significant and questionable things he did from 2015 onward
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America's "anti-vaxxer movement" would pose a threat to national security in the event of a "pandemic with a novel organism," an FBI-connected non-profit research group warned last year. Sure nailed that one
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Even Howard Stern says he's all in for Ba-Ba-Biden
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Welcome mat: "Come back with a warrant." Florida deputies: "Okay"
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Woman 'stunned' to be on crowded flight with no social distancing, having apparently been previously unaware of the average American's self discipline or American Airline's lack of concern for passenger survival rates
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Artist's 40-minute artistic film of movie posters and celebrity stills with a full-length cover version of Dark Side Of The Moon, its lyrics rewritten to lament the failure of her parents' business selling those materials out of a warehouse
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Homeland creator unpacks the series finale, threatens a spinoff [WARNING: SPOILERS]
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Tyson Foods warns "The food supply chain is breaking" as Americans realize things really haven't changed since Upton Sinclair's time
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2 million chickens will be killed in Delaware and Maryland because of lack of employees at processing plants. Gonzo inconsolable
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Dr. Deborah Birx passes Trump's loyalty test on CNN. Subby is sure Trump will reward that by throwing her under the bus extra gently once her time has come
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| Fri April 17, 2020 |
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"Everyone needs to stay home on 4/20," warns notorious straight-edge buzzkill... E-40
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Lost Norwegian mountain, rediscovered thanks to global warming, reveals unlikely Viking artifacts: knitted mitten, wooden whisk, horse skull, broken walking stick with runic inscription, Super Bowl champion ring
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If every British citizen with a phone with Bluetooth Low Energy agrees to install spyware, the country might be let out of prison
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In 1960 a leading producer of MST3K-worthy overblown advertising shorts became self-aware, spoofed their own house style with overblown advertising short for Your Product Here
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What hurt Warren the most during the primaries? The fact she was a woman
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Used to getting their own way, boomers don't like being told they have to sacrifice like their parents and grandparents did or their children and grandchildren do
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He wants civil war, doesn't he?
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Taco Bell launching new flavor of Doritos Locos despite workers begging the chain to stop encouraging customers to swarm stores
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Martha Stewart likes ice cubes in her wine; Snoop Dogg unavailable for comment
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| (Somber Guy) |
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Parents leave their soldier son's bedroom set-up as a memorial after he was killed in battle - in World War ONE
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In 2011, the Golden State Warriors wanted to make great leap forward, nearly traded Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson to New Orleans for superstar Chris Paul. The deal failed when CP3 informed them he wouldn't sign extension with such a sad franchise
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Putin postpones World War II victory parade due to hoax that isn't happening in Russia
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Spell your name backwards and put an umlaut over the first vowel. That's your IKEA furniture name
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Heinass crime thwarted
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| Thu April 16, 2020 |
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20 states have now formed four regional pacts - essentially replacing Trump's failed leadership with their own. Nope, no civil war, no sirree
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Despite the devastation wrought in the entertainment industry by the Coronavirus, Seaworld rewards its employees with almost $7 million in bonuses. Well, six employees to be precise, it laid off 90% of the other 16,700 people it employs
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That plague of locusts that ate Africa earlier in the year? Here comes one now that's twenty times as large, and "by June the size of the swarms could grow by a factor of 500"
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| (Some New Wave Guy) |
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This week's serving of vintage 80's alt/goth/post-punk/new wave includes The Fall, Pink Turns Blue, Fad Gadget, and The Sound. Come hear what terrestrial radio doesn't sound like on PastFORWARD #129. Starts @ 1.00PM ET, LGT streaming options
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Experts warn that those Facebook trends of sharing your old yearbook photo, first dog's name, street where you grew up, favorite password, etc might be dangerous
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Meet Happy Science, the fringe Japanese sect claiming it can cure Covid-19. BONUS: Buddha, Jesus, Freddie Mercury, U.F.O.s, lost continents, and demonic warfare. With that line-up, it may have a shot
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Her Empress Ivanka cannot be bothered to abide by personal travel restrictions put in place for the unwashed hordes
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| Wed April 15, 2020 |
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Last year BBC did a spectacular podcast series on everything leading up to the moon landing, and the landing itself. This year they're covering Apollo 13 the same way
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In case secretly warning rich pals about COVID and dumping stock before the market crash wasn't sleazy enough, Sen. Richard Burr also sold real estate to a lobbyist donor in a transaction so honest that it had to be done off-market, via private LLC
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Pentagon IG's report says it cannot determine whether the Sith Lord in the White House influenced the awarding of the JEDI contract to Microsoft instead of Amazon because the Pentagon's lawyers instructed DOD employees not to answer his questions
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CAN Moxley retain the AEW Title in a one-of-a-kind, never-done-before Empty Arena Match? WILL Finn Balor free his Demon on Fabian Aichner? WHAT'S happening with Double Or Nothing? The Wednesday Night Wars continue @ 8pm EDT on USA, TNT
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Former Vine star and current YouTube influencer promotes budding music career by getting into Twitter shade war with teenage K-pop fan. No, not that influencer. Not that one, either. Oh, her? No, I don't mean her. The other one
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Note to Self: When driving around with an active warrant, drugs, a gun and 4 kids in your car don't start a high speed chase with State Troopers
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The Taneytown Police Department would like to remind you to wear pants when getting your mail. You have been warned Maryland Man
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Elizabeth Warren has a plan...to endorse Joe Biden for President
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Paul McCartney says, please no more of those Chinese "wet" markets where people eat bats. I don't care what Ozzy Osbourne says
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Quarantined Martha Stewart explains her rambling Instagram comment: it's a drunk thing
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| Fri April 10, 2020 |
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Ron Vara wrote David Dennison private memos warning coronavirus could kill millions here and inflict trillions of economic damage but he was publicly saying there was "nothing to worry about" and the economy was not at risk from a slowdown in China
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Stephen Colbert's new animated interview series managed to snag Rudy Giuliani, who wasn't aware of the joke
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Tonight on Samckdown: Braun celebrates his Universal Title win at WM36, Alexa & Nikki face the Kabuki Warriors in a Women's Tag Team Title rematch & will Bray be on the the lookout for a new victim? It all starts live at 8 PM ET on FOX
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Tulsi: *releases workout video* Uganda's septuagenarian President: Hold my Waragi, drop the beat, and watch this
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NASA admin to Boeing: "I have decided to eliminate Boeing from further award consideration" for lunar cargo contract. Also NASA: still trying to put astronauts on the moon using long-delayed Boeing built SLS launcher
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Thailand makes fatal mistake in war on COVID-19
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Bill Gates has been warning us about pandemics for five years and thinks U.S. citizens are doing a good job. The federal government? Not so much
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Michele Bachmann warns if Joe Biden is elected president, "this will become Barack Obama's third term." Is she trying to get Biden elected?
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When Capt. Crozier sent a letter last week warning the Navy brass that Coronavirus was going to run rampant on his ship the USS Roosevelt without help, 3 cases had become 100 in a week, now there are 416 confirmed cases and 1,000 tests still pending
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This story has everything: Angry dad in local news ✔. Pot Noodle ✔. Street blockade ✔. Standoff with bin men ✔. Googling recycling ✔. Flame war in the comments section ✔. Florida ✖.... Okay, almost everything
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