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headlines found matching 'Want'
Sun June 24, 2018
(Cartoon Brew)
 
 
 
If you want to see the new Three Caballeros series, you need to hop a plane to the Philippines
source: cartoonbrew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Jeff Sessions does not want you interfering with the Border Police or there will be consequences
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 23, 2018
(Metro)
 
 
 
Want to prevent heart disease? Take a warm bath
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"There's no thief like a bad book" The Saturday Morning Book Club wants to know what bad reads you've had and can warn us about. Any other books you're reading are fair game too
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Arch Conservative George Will wants the Democrats to take Congress
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 22, 2018
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
The free market finally gets one right: Nobody in DC wants to date Trump staffers
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Alabama Power Company: "You want to put solar panels on your house? Fark you, pay us." Homeowners: "That's ridiculous; reduce the fee." Alabama Power: "Fark you, the fee just went up"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
You want the full Philip J. Fry, that'll be $36,000. Or you can get the Richard M. Nixon, half off
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Trump says fark it to immigration reform. Trump says fark you to the EU and wants to start an auto trade war them. The SCOTUS says cops need a warrant to search your cellphone data. FHF is here. Your viva la resistance MSNBC thread starts at 8pm ET
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Any Farkers here want to help Patton Oswalt out?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Students graduate from Ohio's first cannabis college. Subby really wants to see Cleveland School of Cannabis in the NCAA tournament bracket this year
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Republicans want Stephen Miller fired reich now
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
I raise flamethrower drones, with cooking with Elon's flamethrower
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 21, 2018
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Golden State Warriors' Swaggy P helpfully teaches us that "everybody needs to do cocaine"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Motorsport)
 
 
 
"... the weirdest thing is the groundhog running into us. There are 20 cars out there, a groundhog on their own, and we are going to hit it And on the nose, not on the wing" -- Formula One team boss on his team's lousy luck
source: motorsport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Tonight)
 
 
 
If you've ever wanted to see Selena Gomez suck on a glass eye, today is your lucky day
source: etonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Ana Navarro says anyone in Trump's administration who wants Mexican food should "probably consider takeout"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSYX ABC6 Columbus)
 
 
 
Suspect nicknamed "Popeye" wanted for Southern Ohio break-ins and I have a feeling he's gonna be pretty easy to identify
source: abc6onyourside.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Woman wants to slap the 'silly' tag on Debbie the cancer nurse, who helped a suffering 14-year-old girl laugh at her osteoblastoma and grow up into a healthy person and mother. First she must find her
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Do you live in a divided community, with immigrants and democrats on one side, racists and republicans on the other? If so, the New York Times wants your story
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 20, 2018
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Foo Fighters show interrupted by actual Foo Fighter. I want to believe
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Disney decides that if it can't get all the money, it doesn't want any, cancels Star Wars spinoffs
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Worried you don't have enough money to go on that vacation you want to take? No problem, just get a loan
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Want your house to sell for more? Consider painting the front door this color
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Tom Brady has given a hint on his retirement age, let's just say it's an age most of us want to retire at
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
When the labs want to learn how some coked eels discern, [snorts] THAT'S A MORAY
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump supporters weigh in on family separation crisis. Their responses, and pictures, are what you'd expect
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Scientists who want to assure you that are not "proponents of abstinence" are nevertheless warning that our current guidelines for how much alcohol is safe to drink per day (1 drink for women, 2 for men) are way too high and will kill you
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
Woofday
 
Discovery of the earliest known domestic dogs suggests Americans had canine companions more than 10,000 years ago. Your dog wants a Giant Ground Sloth for Wetnose Woofday Wednesday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
In search of more regular playing time, Jack Wilshere announces he is leaving Arsenal after 17 years with club, immediately sprains finger ligament upon hitting the Send button
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
How long do you guys think until the US is sanctioned?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Your team scored a last minute goal to beat Tunisia in the World Cup, so you might want to try and stay alive for the next match (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
"People speaking up against America detaining children in cages just want to change your country forever," warns the sentient racist bowtie controlling Tucker Carlson
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adweek)
 
 
 
Tech marketer and thought leader says AI and robots are unqualified to do marketing, because human sales whizzes and advertising executives are superior at coming up with brilliant creative ideas that touch human emotions
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 19, 2018
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
New Yorker film critic hears "trampoline me" in The Incredibles 2 dialogue, then has the weirdest boner. Proceeds to analyze the boner for the world to know his boner. Subby wanted to eat shrimp dumplings and Chinese food after watching TI2 and Bao
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"A burrito, when made properly, is a beautiful thing. Much like the Arquillian Galaxy that was contained in a pendant on Orion's belt, a burrito has everything you could need or want in life"
source: themanual.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
The United Airlines commuter partner in the midwest has been experiencing computer issues for several days. So if you've ever wanted to be stuck in Dayton due to a cancelled flight, you're in luck
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
How to understand your dog. Hint: your dog wants steak. Don't bother trying to understand your cat; it just hasn't figured out how to kill you yet
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Check out these 19 discontinued fast-food items that many of us miss. Did you like eating or drinking them? Want to bring any of them back? What items are not included on the list that are worthy of an honorable mention?
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My husband and I have been married for 23 years; we have 4 children. He started picking fights with me; we saw a marriage counselor. I learned he'd had affairs and our counselor told him not to tell me. Who should I be angrier at?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"...[Kelly] has told at least one person close to him that he may as well let the president do what he wants, even if it leads to impeachment, at least this chapter of American history would come to a close"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
The Trump Administration doesn't want immigrants to have a voice, but the wails of these children can't be ignored
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 18, 2018
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Cop and his crotch find out woman really does not want to leave this bar
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Another new narrative: It's not collusion, Putin only wants it to look like. Hansel and Gretel also wanted to be eaten, not find a way home
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 16, 2018
(Polygon)
 
 
 
"Cyberpunk 2077" will include full nudity for a very important reason ... because hey, nudity
source: polygon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
The unwritten rules of staying at a hotel include not letting your child run screaming down the hallways, don't leave your room naked, and don't tip the bellhop with a Starbucks gift card
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVH Helena)
 
 
 
Police want you to stop shooting at big butte and use a smaller target instead
source: ktvh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Spy)
 
 
 
Chris Pratt won't rule out a return to Pawnee
source: digitalspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Alex Jones' ex-wife wants none other than Stormy attention-whore attorney Michael Avenatti to represent her in their acrimonious child custody case
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 15, 2018
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Hungary study of obese dogs leaves subby wanting more fat dog pics
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Due to record low unemployment, businesses can't find the cheap workers that they want
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump on Kim Jong Un: "He speaks and his people stand up in attention. I want my people to do the same"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My fiancée and her daughter are allergic to dogs, and my retired mother has found purpose in life bringing in rescue dogs; we can't stay at her home, and she won't get a dog-sitter to visit us. Allergy pills don't work. What do I do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 14, 2018
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
After being struck by car, authorities discover squirrel up woman's dress. Authorities seeking Ray Stevens as a person of interest
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
You're not getting enough D. You want the D
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Dear Ellie: I was nosing around on my boyfriend's phone and saw he was interested in bi experimentation, so I got upset and went out and had an affair. Now I don't want to stop. Am I a bad person?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
The Washington Redskins have announced that they no longer have a 200,000-person waiting list to buy season tickets. So, you know, if you want tickets, they're available. So, um, do you want tickets? You can buy them. Please? Please buy them
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Naturally this dog just wanted to play fetch at Bark in the Park
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Meet Russia's psychic cat, Achilles. He predicts the Russian soccer team will win their first game in the World Cup
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
So Sonic has 4 new flavors of Slushes for the summer and all anyone wants to talk about is the Pickle Juice one. Grab a swig right outta the jar and take the Weekly Weird News Quiz, June 3-9 Pickle Juice Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amsterdam News)
 
 
 
If paying a Victoria's Secret bill with funds meant for Superstorm Sandy relief is wrong, I don't want to be right
source: amsterdamnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
If you're going to the World Cup, you might want to leave all electronics in a faraday cage back at your house
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 13, 2018
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
If you know that the boulder you see being loaded into a pickup truck is heavier than the truck's payload rating, you might want to comment on it before the loader does their job instead of after
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Please stand for our new National Anthem: 'What's Up Bootlickers'"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time to write." -Stephen King. Well, duh, of course someone who sells books wants everyone to spend all their time reading. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, stupid conspiracy edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Wanting the eyehow in Trudeau's eyebrow? Snopes sees all
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Anyone want to share a reason it's a wonderful world?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Chepstow in Wales celebrates its plastic free status with a banner. Want to guess what material was used to make the banner? Hint: link tag
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 12, 2018
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
All this Florida police chief wanted was a perfect burglary crime clearance rate score
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
If they wanted ancient dust, they could have just looked behind my couch. Space dust trifecta complete
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Roll Call)
 
 
 
The back story between Rand Paul and his angry neighbor has been uncovered. Yep, Paul was taking full libertarian stance of "I can do whatever the Fark I want on my own dang property"
source: rollcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Screen Rant)
 
 
 
Jordan Peele wants to make a Gargoyles movie
source: screenrant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mother uses taco to distract fake cop. It was either fish or pork, depending on which punchline you want
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CafePharma)
 
 
 
We asked Senator Johnson why he wants to weaken the FDA because his publicly stated reasons were complete bullshiat. He didn't answer directly, but his biggest donor spoke volumes
source: cafepharma.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Dear anti-NFL kneelers: stop telling us how to feel. Sincerely, veterans
source: pplscrt79.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
I guess he didn't want to pay the toll
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Here is one thing that you never say as a GM: we will give that player the deal that he wants
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
The folks that bought the "Jigger Shop" ice cream parlor decided a little change was in order
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
This person ate everything they wanted for a day. This is what happened
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My husband and I have been married for 15 years. Recently, he lost his father; this sparked a discussion about getting our affairs in order. We're in our 40s. His whole family got plots next to his dad. I did not get one. What do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Florida man wanted to get rid of his tenants, ended up on Fark instead
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 11, 2018
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Russian media want to wage an information war in DC
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Everything you wanted to know about Fark's favorite painting: Dogs Playing Poker
source: artsy.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Probably for the best, you don't want that awkward moment when he denouces NK's human rights abuses and CNN has to cut in with breaking news that investigators have found several internment camps full of migrants in Texas
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Florida sheriff wants to form school police department, get children started early on their Florida tag appearances
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
"Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?" "The same thing we do every night, Pinky - try to sneak drugs into jail" (With mugshot goodness)
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Merkel: "You want a trade war? Okay, fine. Let's have a trade war"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Choose a word you want to change the meaning of, and give us the new meaning. Maybe put it in a sentence. (Link goes to interesting articles of words that have changed meaning)
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 10, 2018
(Metro)
 
 
 
Who wouldn't want a giant rug that looks like an Ikea receipt?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Weekly)
 
 
 
Florida Democrat Sen. Bill Nelson attempts to throw his campaign down a sinkhole, says 'Darn right I want a gun registry' like a sensible person in crazy Florida
source: orlandoweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 09, 2018
(CBS News)
 
 
 
New York governor offers free legal help to a pizza deliverer facing deportation after INS wants to deliver him back across the border in 30 minutes or less
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Caution: I brake for rainbows
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Teacher)
 
 
 
You may want to reconsider taking that teaching job in China
source: thesouthafrican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Watson, come here. I want to speed you
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku Australia)
 
 
 
Ikea wants to scan your butt
source: kotaku.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Malaysia wants review of TPP. Yeah, you know them
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 08, 2018
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Arm found inside alligator caught in Florida lake. Amos Moses wanted for questioning
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Ghosthead)
 
Video
 
Remember that old cartoon The Real Ghostbusters? Some lunatic got his hands on the pilot promo, and digitally restored it. Your Slimer wants hot dogs
source: ghostbusters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
If Democrats want to start winning elections, perhaps they should try voting
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 07, 2018
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Obese dogs have the same personality traits as obese humans. Your obese dog wants cake
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Democrats sue Trump, saying he hasn't gotten approval for his foreign emoluments. Trump lawyers respond by pointing out that those Congressmen can vote to give their approval whenever they want and that their client has the worst farking lawyers
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Indiana 13-year-old with 2 guns who shot a teacher and student will be tried as a juvenile. Which is good, since he wants to take Little Suzie to the junior prom
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Do you want Skynet? Because this is literally how the scriptwriters said you get Skynet
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Want a pair of sneakers? Pittsburgh Steelers cornerback Joe Haden has 2,000 pairs of 'fire' sneakers to sell you
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
How gross are used hotel mattresses? And, more importantly, why the fark would you want one?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(College Football Talk)
 
 
 
UCF: WE WANT BAMA... Alabama: Ok, you're on. Well, sorta
source: collegefootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 06, 2018
(The Spectator UK)
 
 
 
"Kushner would habitually put in a stream of Requests For Information after he had seen the PDB or other briefings. These RFIs related to places where his family or the Trump Organisation had business interests, or wanted to have them." Oh Jared
source: usa.spectator.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
World's Oldest person turns 129 and wants to die. Which will happen any day now that it's posted on Fark
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
Weeners
 
Well guys I have good news and bad news; the good news is most of you will not be responsible for the extinction of our species and trust me, you don't want the bad news
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Lawyer accused of bringing drugs to jail and having sex with inmate once received $20,000 on the Ellen Degeneres show after saying she wanted to work with kids. Then it gets strange
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
If you want to make more money at work, try wearing makeup. This is advice for women, apparently, but men could probably try it too; maybe your boss will notice you more if you wear some rouge or red lipstick
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Ever wanted a house where you can warm your hands at the fireplace while at the same time taking a dump underneath a picture of Jesus?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
LeBron James: "Whoever wins doesn't want to go to the White House." Let's be honest, the Cavs weren't going to the White House even if Hillary was there
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 05, 2018
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Trump's "I Didn't Want To Meet The Eagles Anyway" rally goes about as well as can be expected
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lebanon Daily News)
 
 
 
Mother of male cheerleader doesn't want her son touching female cheerleaders, well, two female cheerleaders in particular
source: ldnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
If you want to consume the "best" maple syrup out there, go for the low-grade stuff
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Simona Mangiante Papadopoulos, come on down: You're the next contestant on Fox News' "Who Wants a Pardon Now?"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Alexa wants to assimilate your laptop
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Apple Developer Conference Recap: Apple wants you to put down the damn phone
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
Shepard Smith really wants to be fired from Fox News, doesn't he?
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
University of Michigan starts pilot tests of driverless shuttle system. Jim Harbaugh pissed, because "Driverless Shuttle System" is the code name of his quarterback development program
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
If you thought the Larry Nassar Scandal gave MSU a black eye the school's Health Physicist wants you to hold his beer, bathe Flash The Basset Hound, bring him to his tent & Sparty On
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 04, 2018
(CNN)
 
 
 
Jesse Duplantis suddenly discovers the internet: says he's not asking followers to buy him a $54 million private jet. He just wants them to 'believe' the aircraft into existence
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Creationist who wants to force schools to teach her (and only her) religion running for Congress in Mississippi
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Trump says Mueller appointment is unconstitutional and not only that, if you're mean to me, that's unconstitutional. And now it's constitutional if I want to bang your wife
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
California's Bay Area is such a wonderful and successful place to live, nearly half of its residents want to leave
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Ever had, bought anything from, or even attended a silent auction? If so what did you get and was it useful? Subby wanted to bid at one but it was not aloud
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump's ambassador to Germany: Hey, anti-establishment, anti-government types in Europe. We want to help you work against your governments. Scary tag in lieu of WTAF tag
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 03, 2018
(Some Economist)
 
 
 
Remember the Long Recession of the 1870s? No? May want to brush up on that
source: fa-mag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Tart)
 
 
 
I see your rhubarb, kale and horseradish festivals and raise you a festival you would want to go to ... Buttertarts
source: buttertartfestival.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BGR)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to buy a brand new 2018 Bugatti Chiron for the low, low price of just $349.99? (Some assembly required)
source: bgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Florida man decides that he doesn't want to walk to impound lot, nor wait for it to open in the morning
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 02, 2018
(NPR)
 
 
 
Why your children are such misbehaving little shiatheels and what you can do about it. Or, rather, what you could do about it if you weren't the sort of parent who raised misbehaving little shiatheels in the first place
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
It's a Florida mystery. Someone keeps mailing these Florida people $8000 in cash and they want to put a stop to it
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billboard)
 
 
 
"The Flaming Lips want to make vinyl albums pressed with Miley Cyrus' urine." You really can't make this stuff up
source: billboard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
What happens when you tell your spouse you want to bring a sex doll into the bedroom?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Equestria Daily)
 
 
 
The CMCs want to join the School of Friendship even they are the best of friends already. Do they want to run a secret cookie bakery out of the basement? Find out on My Little Pony - Marks for Effort this Saturday on Discovery Family at 11:30am ET
source: equestriadaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
....is the word for Katy Perry's joke about Orlando Bloom
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
"I elect presidents. They want to destroy me," says a clearly delusional Jim Bakker
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 01, 2018
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
You may want to sit down for this, but that compassionate-use experimental treatment law that Trump just signed was intentionally crafted solely to make it easier to sell snake oil at higher prices
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Want more on Roseanne? Who doesn't, right? Here you go: her son says she's good people
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Chris Pratt wants everyone to cut Star Lord some slack for his huge blunder in Avengers: Infinity War (SPOILERS)
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsy)
 
 
 
India wants to sell its state-owned airline, so it put out a request for bidders. Rest of the world: "Sari, no"
source: newsy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Roseanne wants to call everybody she offended to personally apologize. Well, get cracking because you've got about 300 million people to call
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My brother's fiancée blocked me on Facebook around my wedding. She told me it was because I had him walk down the aisle with my best friend and bridesmaid; she was outraged I put him with another woman. Do I need to apologize for it?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 31, 2018
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Girl with robotic hand has thrown out the first pitch at 9 ball parks, wants to do it at every major league park, arm wrestle Thanos
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Trump wants to pardon Blagojevich and Martha Stewart, Trudeau trumps Trump on tariffs and Samantha Bee's job threatened for telling the truth. This is your Thirsty Thursday MSNBC thread. Fun starts at 8pm ET
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Turns out Trump has been writing Melania's tweets. Apparently, her recent tweet, "scumbag cheating husband wants me to make him look good but no amount of plastic surgery would make cheeto-head look half human" was unacceptable
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump's administration has no clue what it wants or expects from North Korea. Diplomacy at its finest
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 30, 2018
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Want a free jersey? Retweet this post made by Cleveland Browns player Damarious Randall and you will get one if the Cleveland Cavaliers win the NBA Finals
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hot Air)
 
 
 
Nobody wants to deliver the paper anymore. Which is great since nobody wants to receive it
source: hotair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Lordy there are tapes, Roseanne blames Ambien, Gowdy debunks Trump on Fox News, Trump flat out says he wishes he hadn't picked Sessions, Fed Reserve wants banks to make riskier bets. It's WTF Wednesday for your MSNBC thread, start time 8 pm EDT
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
After being told he would have to stop the publicity tour if he wanted to represent Stormy in the Cohen case, Avenatti withdraws motion to do so
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Trump to ABC: What about me? It isn't fair. I've had enough, now you want my share. Can't you see? I wanna live. But you just take more than you give
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
In news that will surprise nobody the CIA concludes that North Korea has no intention of denuclearization. Most shocking in this CIA report, North Korea wants to open a fast food restaurant
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 29, 2018
(The Drum)
 
 
 
The biggest lies from the ad tech world. Wait, you mean people don't want to be stalked, tracked, and followed online? Ask Bill Hicks to fetch me my fainting couch
source: thedrum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Ever want to see what it would look like if a shark swallowed your head? Now you can, courtesy of this submarine drone
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Not news: Man wants to stop smoking. Fark: He's 114 years old. At this point, why bother?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
Just a reminder: Today is don't mess with your caffeine deprived co-worker unless you want your head snapped off and handed to you day
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Long article: why don't Americans want $80,000/year trucking jobs? Short answer: median pay for the industry is $42,000, and the work conditions suck
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Protip: If you want to get away with murder just don't take the girlfriend with you when you collect on the hit
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Televangelist claims that Jebus wants people to buy him a new $54 million Dassault Falcon 7X business jet, because his three other jets aren't up to par
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Want to watch good Star Wars and not the mess that is Solo or the prequels? Then turn on Netflix and enjoy The Clone Wars
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
David Duke threatens to sue Trump for not building border wall unless Trump denounces, get this, "the Zio Deep Swamp State who wants to destroy our nation and destroy him"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Gruit ale, a beer from the Middle Ages, is making a comeback. Anybody want some with Subby?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 28, 2018
(Medical News Today)
 
 
 
Because of course the first thing I want to remember in the morning is trying to swim naked through the air while being chased by sharks playing bagpipes
source: medicalnewstoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"Randy Thibeault is confident his truck could survive the apocalypse." Randy Thibeault is a loony
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 27, 2018
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
How to write a second-to-last film that makes the audience want more, according to the writers of "Avengers: Infinity War," "Empire Strikes Back" and "Twilight". One of these things is not like the others
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
NYPD wants you to look out. Here cums the Spiderman
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
Tiger Woods wants PGA to reevaluate the short game
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GOP)
 
 
 
The NRCC wants us to sign Trumps birthday card. Have at it Farkers. Make us proud
source: gop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 26, 2018
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Time to tidy up your engineering resume if you want a job working on SpaceX's Big Farking Rocket
source: media.thinknum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
You ever have one of your parents or in-laws demand the grandkids call them by a specific name? What would you do if your mother-in-law insisted she was called "Nama?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 25, 2018
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
A goat rodeo refers to a chaotic situation, often one that involves several people, each with a different agenda/vision/perception of what's going on. Which is probably not what you want to hear from an expert on Nuclear Strategy and Nonproliferation
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: I'm engaged to a nice transgender man with Baptist parents who use the wrong pronouns and are not respectful about his gender. Our parents can never meet as I don't want him outed to them. Any advice on how we can plan a wedding?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Want to know where that Amazon package is every stop of the way? How OCD are you? Amazon has an app that'll make you happy
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Jim Leyritz wants to throw a slider at Yankees' executives after being called out for Old Timer's Day
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
1990s: Hey mom, can you get off the phone? I want to use the internet. 2010s: Hey mom, can you get off the phone?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 24, 2018
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Further details emerge: Incognito believed feds tracking him, wanted no Bluetooth near him, and had a concealed weapons permit but no gun
source: pro32.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump told a confidant that he wanted to brand the FBI informant a "spy" because he thought it made it sound more nefarious and would help him turn public opinion against the probe
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Want to put a stop to kneeling during the national anthem, NFL? Stop playing it
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
You may want to sit down for this, but the Senate's anti-harassment bill is tough on aides but soft on elected officials
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Relationship expert suggests that women about to face another awkward time in the bedroom apply the Sandwich Rule to get what they want from their man. Aww yeah, sandwiches
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
NFL wants roof open for next season's Super Bowl in Atlanta. The last time the Super Bowl was in Atlanta? Jan. 30, 2000, when an ice storm paralyzed the city
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 23, 2018
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Kevin Federline now wants $60,000/month (up from $20,000) child support from Britney Spears. Everyone on planet Earth: Leave Britney alone
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Soon with the help of animal-translation technology, you will know exactly what your dog is saying when he wants steak. Soon
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This story, and its stance on processed meat, is not for everyone. If you've ever referred to yourself as a "foodie," you might not want to click
source: 5280.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Jets co-owner and chairman Christopher Johnson announces that he will cover any of his players' fines should they decide to kneel during anthem
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Super Gyro)
 
 
 
Merriam Webster writes: "If you want a meatball sandwich on a split roll to be a kind of sandwich, then you have to accept that a hot dog is also a kind of sandwich"
source: billypenn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
Missouri Governor Eric Greitens wants you to know it's George Soros' fault that Greitens slapped his mistress, then forced her to give him oral sex while she cried
source: riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you have a couple of hundreds of thousands of dollars and want some sweet top secret intelligence, good news, Jared Kushner got his security clearance restored today
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Volunteer firefighter set fire to two-story building because he wanted to respond to a fire call
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Fox & Friends joins the Kim Jong-un apology tour: "[Kim] probably doesn't love being the guy that has to murder his people all day long...[He] probably wants some normalization. Let's give it to him if we can make the world safer"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Computer History Museum)
 
 
 
Tired of Outlook? Want to take a stroll down memory lane? The Computer History Museum has released the source code for Eudora
source: computerhistory.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PC Games N)
 
 
 
Video game developer who picked up Vampire The Masquerade IP: Our first game will suck, and Bloodlines 2 which people want will be years down the road. Way to build momentum, guy
source: pcgamesn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 22, 2018
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Doctor" who plead guilty and was sentenced to 45 years in prison for misdiagnosing/over-treating 553 patients with cancer and raking in over $17 million in fraudulent billings has decided he's not guilty after all and wants his conviction tossed
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Amazon wants to sell facial recognition software to police departments. CUSTOMERS MINDING THEIR OWN BUSINESS ALSO BOUGHT: Search and Seizure, Handcuffs
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Unsecured WiFi passwords: It's not the reason to hate Comcast that we want, but it's the reason to hate Comcast that we need
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
So, new parents are encouraging friends and families to make appointments to see their newborns. What a conceited, terrible idea. OR IS IT?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
Someday they're going to be casting "Trump, the Movie". So, who do you want to see playing the main roles?
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Brett Favre on golf: "When I played golf before, I realized the only reason I wanted to play was to drink"
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
People reveal 12 things they didn't learn until embarrassingly late in life. Is there anything you want to confess to not knowing for a while?
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
President Trump wants all the info on Citizen Trump's investigation. And somehow this is legal?
source: mobile.twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 21, 2018
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
A good watchdog will keep your car from being stolen. Then there's this one, which apparently even the thief didn't want anything to do with
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Gina Haspel confirmed as Torturer-In-Chief and the White House triples down on "animals" fearmongering. I want off of this planet on this Monday edition of the MSNBC Discussion thread. Drink away the pain starting at 8PM EDT
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bernie doesn't want to get on the cart
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Peppa Pig voice over artist Harley Bird is making £1,000 an hour. But she might want to rephrase when she says she makes that for 'snorting and...doing some lines.'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Screen Rant)
 
 
 
WB wants Green Lantern ring back. Ryan Reynolds responds (minor spoilers for Deadpool 2 in article)
source: screenrant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Kelly Clarkson decides to get death threats
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Jodie Foster says Hollywood has an issue with female directors
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 20, 2018
(NHL)
 
 
 
The Golden Knights are one game away from reaching the Stanley Cup Finals. The Jets are hoping to rally for three straight wins. What we want is more hockey. Game 5 of the WCF starts at 3pm ET on NBC
source: nhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 19, 2018
(Space.com)
 
 
 
If you're in the Midlantic region, you may want to wake up a bit early Monday if you want to see an Antares rocket launch
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Still in state of shock, Wenger won't think about post-Arsenal job until World Cup. "The one thing I can say for sure is that I will continue to work, but do I want to continue to suffer as much?"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
App developers form union to try to get better App Store policies. It's free to join, but you have to make micropayments if you want to skip ahead to the next level, get more benefits
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Wine glasses for when you're really sloshed, but don't want your drink to be
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Darth Vader)
 
 
 
If you live in Nevada and want to be profiled as a criminal, you can soon purchase Raiders license plates
source: silverandblackpride.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Want a big mansion and be like Superman? You can now buy Shaquille O'Neal's $28 million mansion that is themed as such
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 18, 2018
(Blog Toronto)
 
 
 
"They just rushed around to grab it and hide it before other diners saw," presumably lest they wanted one, too
source: blogto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Man lies to FBI about being kidnapped by motorcycle gang, just wanted to start a new life, gets his wish
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Trump administration to ban clinics who provide abortions from funds for birth control, thereby expanding the number of unwanted pregnancies and increasing the demand for abortions. It's a win-win
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Internal video from Google's X division shows a shift in their corporate strategy from "don't be evil" to "world dom-i-nation" as they propose compiling your data into a "ledger" that they can then use to manipulate you into behaving how they want
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Deciding to go full Stupid Watergate, a White House aide taped Trump meetings because he wanted to "impress friends" later with them
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
In case you missed it, here's Bill Gates shiatting all over Trump. Ragetweets expected as Trump just wants to fit in with actual billionaires
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Ex-girlfriend of 49ers' Reuben Foster who had him arrested for domestic abuse takes stand in court to admit that she lied about everything and wanted to ruin his career
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
TV viewers: We want new, original programming. TV Networks: Welcome to 1988
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Betsy DeVos wants public funding for private religious schools. Goddammit
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 17, 2018
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Now you roll your girlfriend's Honda / Fleein' cops in Anaconda / They wanna shoot your ass up to the Great Beyond-a / Now Anaconda Don't. Want. None. / So drop your fake gun, son
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Federal News Radio)
 
 
 
The IRS wants you to think of it as a startup. Which I guess means tax season is now the equivalent of an IPO and you can choose whether or not to be an investor? Cool
source: federalnewsradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Feb 2017: Seattle City Council votes 9-0 to pull its account from Wells Fargo over political disagreements. May 2018: Seattle signs 3-year extension with WF after no other bank wanted Seattle's business
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these people that might want a bigger boat
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but it's looking like Trump's not actually going to get a NAFTA renegotiation finished this year
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Zuck to EU: Oh, you want me to speak there? Let me just check my schedule...ok, no problem. UK parliamentary committee: Hey, what about us? We requested a meeting several time. Zuck: What was that buzzing noise?
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Japan wants to get more women to Diet
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You can often get a ride from a trucker who is going the same direction you are. Often they just want company or conversation or that thrill they get when they kill yet another hitchhiker
source: morepotatoes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 16, 2018
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
These places in each state are literally located in the middle of nowhere, for those of you who want to get away from it all
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Outside Online)
 
 
 
45-year-old single mom and Connecticut dishwasher takes some time off each spring to return home to visit family. And to summit Mt. Everest, which she just did for the ninth time
source: outsideonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
If you're going to write plays about political corruption and coverup in Russia, you may want to leave Russia before doing so
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 12 Richmond)
 
 
 
German police respond to domestic disturbance call because Polly wants a got dam cracker
source: nbc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
A North Carolina woman traveling to Virginia decided to stop at a gas station because she was craving a Coke slushie. She then decided to buy a scratch off lottery ticket as well. What could go right?
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Expert provides eight reasons you might not want to have sex other than your arm is tired
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rotten Tomatoes)
 
 
 
Early reviews for the Han Solo origin story nobody wanted are arriving, and to nobody's surprise, it's a steaming pile of...wait, it's actually good? Well alright then
source: editorial.rottentomatoes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Nunes wants DOJ to reveal the identity of a UK intelligence agent "who has provided intelligence to special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 Trump presidential campaign." This is not normal
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
How will millennials care for their aging parents, since climate change took out ice floe option?
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A five year old boy didn't want to go back to school after his police officer father's death, so 70 cops showed up and... oh man, it's getting real dusty in here
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 15, 2018
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The Tories are prepared to authorize the release of a white paper finally detailing what they want out of Brexit
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wimp)
 
 
 
Although I'm a very lonely farker with no friends here I wanted to say thank you to the fark community and remind us all that you can do anything you set your mind to
source: wimp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Destructoid)
 
 
 
"As a child, I always wanted a Slip and Slide. It didn't occur to me that we also needed a yard, running water, a hose, and a large section of real estate"
source: destructoid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
UN: We should really look into those Palestinians killed yesterday. US: Nah, you'se don't want to go stickin' your nose in that. If you know what's good for you
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Scottish First Minister wants to ban two-for-one pizza deals. Pizza-loving Scots: Over our pizza-loving dead bodies
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Homeowners: We want to build houses on this active volcano. Insurance Co.: Ok, but you won't be covered if it erupts and destroys your house. Homeowners: Fine with us. What are the odds of that happening? (Volcano destroys houses) Homeowners: Pay me
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Humanity has 3 hopes for finding alien life. Which one will come through first?
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"A disgraced Republican ex-congressman and a GOP candidate despised by party leaders have been fighting a weeks-long, behind-the-scenes battle ahead of Tuesday's primary for an open House seat in Western Pennsylvania." Grumpy cat? You want this one?
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PR Newswire)
 
 
 
Wondering what to buy for Father's Day? Your dad wants steak
source: prnewswire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Nobody wanted to buy these 25 cars. Did you? Did you own any of these vehicles?
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Bloody Murtaugh wants everyone to know why Riggs was forced out of the force
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The problem is, an hour later you just want more dead Nazis
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Meghan Markle's dad really wants to get out of attending her wedding (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 14, 2018
(Reuters)
 
 
 
If you want a glimpse into China's near future, just look at the Orwellian nightmare they've imposed on their Muslim minority
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Look, Son. On Mother's Day, Mom gets all the booze she wants, so don't argue about it
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
If you've ever wanted to see Deadpool star Ryan Reynolds singing while dressed as a unicorn, today is your lucky day
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Aging, decrepit, nearly empty Canadian mall not only attracts pesky zombies, it threatens revival chances for small downtown it lives in, where everyone wants it dead except for the owners
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Do you want to be loved by your millions of clueless minions and rule the world? Here's how to be the next Trump
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Look, the President has been perfectly clear. The tweet speaks for itself and I refer you to outside counsel if you want to discuss today's White House briefing. 1:30 EDT
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
If you've ever wanted to stay at a hotel with a lullaby service with sounds like traffic and vacuuming, now is your chance (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
I want my data back data back data back, I want my data back data back data back
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 13, 2018
(Metro)
 
 
 
Theresa May vows to deliver the disastrous Brexit the people want
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
If you ate at Chili's in March or April, you might want to check your credit report. Also, you really need to upgrade your dining out choices
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It's EPL Championship Sunday Swansea need a miracle to stay up. Chelsea hope to claim the final UCL spot above Liverpool. If you cannot find the match you want, you aren't looking hard enough. Kickoff is at 10am ET on all NBC Networks
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 12, 2018
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Giving the streamers what they want, YouTube Red orders second season of Cobra Kai, to debut in 2019 with further adventures of Old Johnny and Old Daniel
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
This week in the semi-occasional Saturday Morning Book Club, we present a bit of a dilemma: your boss is about to be stranded on a desert island...what one book would you want your boss to have?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
This Mother's Day, get your mom what she really wants: Paid parental leave for all future parents
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Next time you are at a BBQ and the hostess asks you if you want a thigh, make sure she is cooking chicken
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 11, 2018
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
New Mexico wants to charge a $50 fee for keeping bees; says the fee will go toward inspections. As in: "Let's see the bees." "Here they are." "Thank you. That will be $50, please"
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
West Virginia teachers vote out Republican who mocked them for striking. "I heard one teacher today say," teacher Edwina Howard-Jack joked, "after yesterday they may want to think twice about arming teachers"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Protip for women wanting a mind blowing orgasm: Blow your nose first
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Kirstjen Nielsen wanted to hand Trump her resignation letter after being "ritually humiliated" one too many times
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
If you don't give a bear a cubcake, he'll break the window of your car and take one. When he's finished eating the cubcake, he'll want another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
"Dog shoots owner in the leg in Iowa and appears to cry." Your dog wants an assault rifle
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
This supercut of Mike Pence praising Trump's broad shoulders is everything you'd want it to be
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: One of my oldest friends is getting married. My mother wants to crash the wedding and silently observe. She has always mocked him for his weight, equating thinness with success. She'll cause a scene. How can I thwart her attempts?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Refinery29)
 
 
 
Your mom wants to see Avenatti's briefs
source: refinery29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Reds make Nick Krall their new GM. Do you really want a comedian running your team when it's already a joke?
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 10, 2018
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Mike Myers wants to revive Austin Powers, but have the film be from Dr. Evil's perspective, hopes to make at least *pinkie finger to lips* one hundred billion dollars
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Everything you wanted to know about rhubarb, the Bitcoin of the vegetable world
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Geena Davis tells her 4th husband that she wants to start a league of her own
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
A neo-Nazi running for Senate in California wants Trump to "name that Jew" and save America from "Jewish Supremacists"
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
New NASA director wants to go back to the moon: "This will not be Lucy and the football again." Future quotes to include "AAUGH"
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 09, 2018
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Establishment won the Tues primaries. Trump wants to roll back child labor laws. Haspel pinkie-promises no torture. McCain probably won't return to Senate. Lots of bribes to Trump via Cohen. It's your Hump Day MSNBC thread - start time 8pm EDT
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYSStore.com)
 
 
 
Anyone want a former prison? $100,000 opening bid
source: nysstore.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Den Of Geek)
 
 
 
Disney wants a new Marvel franchise "beyond Avengers". I think we all know what this means: Howard the Duck II
source: denofgeek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Most Uber and Lyft drivers also have a "real" job. Here are the ten occupations most likely to be drivers on the side, and #1 really just wants to direct
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBW Buffalo)
 
 
 
Oh you wanted our Roku app to actually work? You have to switch to our internet service. Why would you think that any ISP would do? This isn't a neutral internet
source: wkbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Trump wants to yank news media credentials in response to negative coverage. Has to be reined in, reminded he's not Putin
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Look at those hands, are they small hands? Well, we don't want to shame anybody, but everyone's different. But yeah, his penis wasn't big. Like his fingers. Which were bigger. Than his penis
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Guess who wants to testify, without being waterboarded, in the Gina Haspel hearings?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 08, 2018
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Tonight, on The Flash, Barry needs an English accent worse than Costner's Robin Hood in order to stop DeVoe. (CW 8ET) Later, on Legion, David takes up Tantric basket weaving. (FX 10ET)
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Five-foot shark wanting to make friends and talk about Jesus swims inside the surf line and clears out entire Emerald Isle beach. (Vertical video trigger warning)
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Trump takes 4 hours to answer 2 questions, talked of how he wants to fly around in a zeppelin dropping pennies
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump wants Giuliani to do more TV interviews because they have "organized his supporters"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A 91-year-old man is arrested for firing a shot at the car in front of him at a McDonald's drive-thru 'because they weren't moving fast enough'. OK who here hasn't at least wanted to push the car out of the way for the same reason?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
How farked up is GOP infighting right now? Orrin Hatch is criticizing John McCain on his deathbed because McCain doesn't want a certain soft pumpkin colored draft dodger at his funeral
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 07, 2018
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Giuliani spent the weekend digging. Torture Madam Haspel wanted to back out of confirmation. The Coal Mine Killer may be dispatching two more in his quest for the WV Sen seat. Monday MSNBC Discussion Thread - Start Time 8 pm EDT
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Why would a inmate want to stay in prison even when their sentence is up? Because of the illegal diamond mine they're running from underneath their jail
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to watch Russell Crowe brush his hair and beard to dramatic music? Today is your lucky day
source: spy.nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Climate change is such an insidious hoax that no one wants to buy houses in a floodplain anymore
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Divorced? Would you get married a second time?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Here's a behind-the-scenes look at Killmonger's makeup by its creator, the legendary Joe Harlow. The video also works if you just want to stare at a shirtless Michael B. Jordan for a couple minutes
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Want to block those annoying robocalls? Here is how
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Indianapolis Colts Jim Irsay bought the founding document to Alcoholics Anonymous for $2.4 million, and wants to display it publicly on a tour so more people can see it
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLP)
 
 
 
Bernardston Mass residents vote on prohibiting retail marijuana sales. This will not be a problem because no one has ever been to Bernardston and no one wants to go to Bernardston
source: wwlp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Man wanted for harassing moose. This sounds like a self-correcting problem
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 06, 2018
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Does Vince still want none Japanese champions? Do we care about Hardy vs. Orton or the Samoans named Joe? Will Nia continue her bullying campaign against Alexa? Miz-Rollins is the real Raw title match. WWE Blacklash 8pm EDT, 7pm EDT preshow
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Den Of Geek)
 
 
 
And the winner in the 'Sequel That Nobody Wanted' category....*opens envelope*: Rambo 5
source: denofgeek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Infinity War is #1 with $120.5 million, the unwanted remake of Overboard a distant #2 with $14.5 million. A Quiet Place stood at #3 with $7.7 million, I Feel Pretty #4 with $5.2 million as Diablo Cody's latest, Tully, bombs at #6 with $3.5 million (NO SPOILERS)
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Most absurd GoFundMe campaigns of all time. List includes helping to prove the world is flat, funding a 'spiritual journey' around the world to purchasing an actual human. Oh by the way, subby needs help to study the effects of Fark on your brain
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Real 'Murican Senator Ted Cruz has a message for 'Murica and those that want to gut the Second Amendment: Freedom only exists if citizens have the means to defend it
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Why is everyone suddenly concerned about Facebook privacy?
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 05, 2018
(NBC News)
 
 
 
McCain doesn't want to see Trump, even over his dead body
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Federal government wants 1 million people to take part in a giant health study, to the annoyance of average size people
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fortune)
 
 
 
In 1977, if they wanted to show the obvious big summer blockbuster, theater owners were forced by 20th Century Fox to also show this cheesy kiddie movie. Amusing barely beats out dumbass tag
source: fortune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 04, 2018
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
4 bizarre but real weapons the US Space Corps will need. Do you want to know more?
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls... gather 'round for a moment. I want you to look at this graph of American State GDP Growth for 2017 and imagine the colors are reversed by political party. Guess which states are the sh*tholes?
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Irish Times)
 
 
 
What are the most ridiculous workplace rules you have had to face?
source: irishtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The Butterfly Pavilion in Denver wants you to vote on a name for their new octopus. Subby votes for "Why the Hell Does the Butterfly Pavilion Have an Octopus?"
source: butterflies.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter