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headlines found matching 'WANT'
Tue January 25, 2022
(Spin Magazine)
 
 
 
SPIN goes balls-deep in their support of Kennedy's anti-vax derp and loathing of Fauci. But really wants you to know the latest Cult 12-inch is totally better than the new Cocteau Twins remix
source: spin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 24, 2022
(WBAY Green Bay)
 
 
 
Nurses win back the right to work where they want, just like regular people with jobs
source: wbay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
What if you don't want to save just one?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Dept of Fish and Wildlife: Don't pet the danger kitty and please leave the danger kitty outside. Murica: I do what I want
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Hey Lions fans, want something more to "laugh" at? Matthew Stafford has now won more playoff games than the Detroit Lions have in 58 years
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
As you get ready to go back to the office, keep in mind that even the architect of the Googleplex thinks workers have it too good these days
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Want a dozen free doughnuts? Got some spare blood?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Someone makes what we've really wanted for years now: A Pokemon FPS using the Unreal Engine. Nintendo reacts exactly as you expect. Tag for the creator
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Sure you want to resuscitate this system?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Pope calls for day of prayer for peace for Ukraine. Wednesday, he wants Wednesday. I don't know if there will be refreshments. No, we can't do peace on Tuesday, how's Friday? Already invaded by Friday? Okay, let's stay with Wednesday then
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 23, 2022
(MSN)
 
 
 
♫ I see a church bus and I want it painted black. No colors anymore I want them to turn black ♫
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Texas may want to consider opening a branch of The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Today, on As the Cheese Turns, Aaron doesn't want to be part of a rebuild. Will he find out, after farking around?
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Julian McMahon no longer FBI's Most Wanted
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 22, 2022
(Big E Radio)
 
 
 
You want music? Noise Factor has music and at 10:30PM ET it's streaming to you. Blast off with Tongue Party and stick around Biblical, Black Rainbows, The Machine, Kid Kapichi and more
source: bigeradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Conde Nast Traveler)
 
 
 
CDC says "Do whatever you want, cruise ship industry. We give up"
source: cntraveler.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
The Bengals are coming off winning their first playoff game in 31 years. The Titans are off the bye and want to tame Cincinnati. Who will win this one in Tennessee? This AFC Divisional Playoff game is at 4:30 PM ET on CBS
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My neighbor is running a porn studio out of his house and I am incapable of minding my own business and fear that something is amiss. What should I do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MIT Technology Review)
 
 
 
In the event of a war in Ukraine you may want to remove your back up hard drives from the internet
source: technologyreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
FedEx: When you want your dolphin to arrive alive
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 21, 2022
(Engadget)
 
 
 
The company that wouldn't let users sell stock they owned wants you to deposit your cryptocurrency with them
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Attention WA state Farkers: Free covid test kits now available to order. [TFA has instructions how to order]
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
This Virginia school district might want to have some visible police presence on Monday... just sayin'
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Russia to US: Get out of all former Soviet republics, even in Europe and we 'promise' to not invade Ukraine ...and we want it in writing
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Things you don't want to find on your front porch: A dead mountain lion
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 20, 2022
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
NFL asks Nevada court to dismiss Jon Gruden lawsuit. No one wants to root for either of these arsehats, but more exposed emails exposing more arsehats would be great
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The Hill wants you to know that Senator Collins is a leading moderate and highly respected and Senator Ossoff is young and not following Senate norms by calling her a flip flopper on voting rights
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Meta (Facebook) wants to get into NFTs. Boomers spark a run on the Bored TFG Golf Club
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Americans announce that they simply cannot feel financially healthy without earning at least $122,000 per year. Also, I'm tired of driving on roads that aren't made of licorice. Someone fix that; I get hungry on long drives
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EuroNews)
 
 
 
Want to get a covid health pass but don't want to go through the hassle of getting vaccinated? Just deliberately catch covid like this Czech singer did and hey presto you could be enjoying your first social gathering in months: your funeral
source: euronews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
If you thought open plan offices were bad, just want until you see the newest cost-saving move -- "hot desking." Surprisingly, employees are cool to the idea
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Illinois museum wants your stuff, Gen Xers. What are you going to contribute?
source: travelawaits.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My 20-year-old sister went to my fiancée's bachelorette party and wheeled in a skeleton dressed in a sister of the bride t-shirt. My fiancée's younger sister died when she was 16. My family says I overreacted by disinviting my sister. Did I?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Reds second baseman and 2021 rookie of the year meets autistic fan at Bengals tailgate, promises him tickets to Reds games whenever he wants
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
NASA wants your ideas to reuse trash and waste on a Mars mission. This should be easy
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
In the "metaverse," Meta (Facebook) wants to track people and create "virtual stores" that sell ad-sponsored digital goods. Fetch me my VR fainting couch
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 19, 2022
(Twitter)
 
 
 
24 hours of trains in the Netherlands is probably not the video you want to show to anybody who's had a bad trip and started yelling BUGSBUGSBUGSBUGS but then again maybe that's the most fun you can have today
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zillow)
 
 
 
For when you want to take your "Westworld" cosplay to the next level
source: zillow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Right wing justices have opened the door to dismantling the regulatory state. Will they walk through it? They seem to want to
source: neuburger.substack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Polygon)
 
 
 
Bobby Kotick wanted to buy his way out of bad Activision-Blizzard news by taking over the likes of PC Gamer or Kotaku. Now that would have been a problem with ethics in games journalism
source: polygon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My in-laws won't stop making derogatory comments about my body and my baby's body. It's incredibly hurtful and I want them to stop. What do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Tiny violin time in the Hamptons, it's millionaires against billionaires at the East Hampton airport with the billionaires squeezing out those without their own jets. Feel for the poor millionaires
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
In honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Governor DeSantis submits a redistricting map that cuts number of Black districts in half, just the way MLK would have wanted it
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
Nearly $20,000 worth of copper stolen from lumber mill and police want answers. Starting with, why does a lumber mill have $20,000 worth of copper stored there?
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
That's what he would want you to believe
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 18, 2022
(KOCO Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Always wanted to nurture young minds but have been stymied by requirements like actual qualifications or intelligence? Can you fog a mirror? Then Oklahoma has a job for you
source: koco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Malcolm Bivens finally found someone to take on WALTER. Tony D'Angelo might want to change his planned "memorial service" for Pete Dunne as Roderick Strong is gonna die tonight. Also, what is Elektra Lopez up to? Find out starting at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
I want to make 16 quarts/liters of roasted chicken stock Ok, buy $13 chicken, $4 onion, $4 celery, $3 tomato paste, $2 tomato sauce, $Wait, why are the tomatoes in this? Chef JP: Just shut up and follow the recipe
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Getting testy with 10-year-old girls does not play well at public speaking events. Just something you may want to keep an eye out for, Rep. Crenshaw
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Want to get out of a bad date? Fake a positive Covid result
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
NASA faces an astronaut shortage. No one wants to work anymore
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Want to discover and explore ancient ruins but don't want to leave the United States? Check out these ancient ruins that are close to home
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
I need to make a pie. I have a crust, what should the inside be?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Megachurch pastor apologizes for wanting the holy spit to enter you
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
A book about what you have always wanted. Panda butts
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 17, 2022
(CBC)
 
 
 
It's been a Long December in Charlottetown PEI, and Mrs. Jones is Counting Crows that have been found sick and dead Round Here, Jones fears it's a Murder of One, saying "You Can Count On Me" but She Don't Want Nobody Near
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You may soon need a COVID booster shot if you want to get lei'd
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
HOTM
 
Last chance to vote Voting ends 4pm eastern / 1pm pacific. Enjoy Headline of the Month December 2021 voting for Sports
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(7 News Australia)
 
 
 
The country with the highest life expectancy gains during stay-at-home lockdown 2019-2020 was: Australia. Proving once again that everything outdoors wants to kill you
source: 7news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
A low fiber diet constipates Sen. Blackburn
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 16, 2022
(Twitter)
 
 
 
When a bank says they no longer want your money...what does that say about you?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
How can they be discriminated against if none of them want what is being given away?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tin Soldier)
 
 
 
This week at Tin Soldier, Old Man Yells at Toaster. Hey, if you don't want a free web serial, you can at least collect a free weird meme blank
source: tinsoldier.space   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 15, 2022
(Arkansas Times)
 
 
 
Remember when Trump wanting to buy Greenland caused a diplomatic fallout with Denmark? Guess who was behind that one
source: arktimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 10 Phoenix)
 
 
 
All I wanted was bbq sauce, and he wouldn't give it to me
source: fox10phoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Suspect in deadly hit-and-run tells police he chose not to stop because "he had a lot of money on him and didn't want to answer questions." Which is not at all suspicious
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Drew wants a beer, subby wants a joint, FedEx wants a laser based missile defense system, seems reasonable
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOL 11)
 
 
 
Farmer's market destroyed by fire. Sure, that's what the old man in the totaled LeSabre wants you to believe
source: wtol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 14, 2022
(The Hill)
 
 
 
VA state senator wants school kids to learn about the REAL history of America, like the famous debates between Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass. Let that sink in
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Chevron wants to get into the "news" business
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News and Guts)
 
 
 
Texas: Per our new voting law if you want a mail-in ballot provide your driver's license ID number, a state ID number, or the last four digits of their social security number. Voters: OK here you go. Texas: Rejected because we never had them on file
source: newsandguts.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today is National Hot Pastrami day. How do you want yours? White bread and mayo for Claire?
source: do214.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Want to know why Queen Elizabeth sat alone at Philip's funeral? The Tory wine parties were going on
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thread Reader)
 
 
 
Putting the Oath Keeper takedown in perspective.. Or what Garland has been up to all this time
source: threadreaderapp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Woman does something we've all wanted to do, but somehow she has the money to do it. Since this is cosplay it goes on the Fandom tab
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 13, 2022
(A Journal of Musical Things)
 
 
 
All of you who listen to music on vinyl are too mainstream. I only listen to music released on Nintendo 64 cartridges
source: ajournalofmusicalthings.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
I'm just a Nobody doin a whole lot O nuthin, nowhere, so I want to sue the DNC for defaming me. Supreme Court Justices: Who? Nope, next
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Javier Bardem wants to ride the worm, NTTAWWT
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Lead)
 
 
 
He has a sandwich named after him on every continent. Police question him just because they want to know him better. He is...The Most Interesting Man In Football
source: thebiglead.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Construction work on the UK's unwanted HS2 rail line is going swimmingly. Well, it would be, if they didn't keep bumping into all those roman towns & artefacts they're not allowed to just bulldoze out of the way
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Dashcam footage has emerged of a terrifying road rage incident involving an axe-wielding driver. Suspect claims he just wanted to axe them a question. Can't explain all the ramming however
source: wild955.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Bend Tribune)
 
 
 
We need to do whatever it takes to help these homeless veterans. Wait, you want to do what? Whoa, not in my neighborhood
source: southbendtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Judge throws prosecutor out of his courtroom for "liking" a FB post critical of him. What was he being criticized for? Just finding a teen "not guilty" of rape because the judge didn't want to give him the mandatory 4 year minimum sentence for it
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
School decides not being racist cost too much, and racism is their legacy anyways
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"He treated everybody like family" is not something you want to read if you've just watched Bob Saget tell the Aristocrats joke
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My husband did not listen to me when I said I didn't want my face smashed into the cake. He didn't listen, destroyed the cake, and made me look a fool. I told him we were getting a divorce, but everyone thinks I'm overreacting. Am I?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Four things Russia wants right now besides Trump back in office
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
So why does your boss want you back in the office despite COVID?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Girl Scout)
 
 
 
The 2022 Girl Scout Cookie Flavors are here. Subby wants some Adventurefuls, Lemonades, and of course, Thin Mints
source: girlscouts.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fierce Video)
 
 
 
HBO Max wants to make it clear that paying more for their ad-supported tier compared to what competitors charge is a great business model
source: fiercevideo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 12, 2022
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Being a conspiracy theorist can lead to you losing visitation rights. Or at least that's what THEY want you to think
source: montreal.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Things are so bad, even asteroids don't want to come wipe out all life on Earth these days
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Fetterman calls for Congress to stop using their position to make money on stocks, Congressional leadership continues not pretending that they have any other reason for wanting the job
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Outgoing Virginia Gov. Northam claims he knows who was in that racist yearbook photo ...he just doesn't want to tell you
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
TFG declined to partner up with social media such as Parler or Gettr willing to pay him millions, wanting to build his own for more control. Problem: development is running behind and may not be up in time to influence the midterm elections
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but it's starting to look like the real reason for our ongoing inflation problems could be greedy corporations. I know, I know, that's very out of character for them
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Lil' Kim wants to make Best Korea crappier
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Texas officials want you to build a kit for the next winter storm. What should Texans add to it?
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Sarah Palin doesn't want jury to see her "Masked Singer" performance. Which is fine, because no one on planet Earth wants to see her "Masked Singer" performance
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 11, 2022
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Japan's potato shortage continues as McDonald's hash browns are on the chopping block. Meanwhile in Prince Edward Island, farmers wonder what they will do with all their potatoes. HEY JAPAN. YOU WANT SPUDS? WE HAVE SPUDS
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The hairstyling buzz phrase for 2022 is "instinctive cutting," where stylists freestyle a bespoke haircut based on their thoughts on your face shape, hair type and product routine, rather than relying on your lame photos of celebrities
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Israellycool)
 
 
 
Hamas wants Israel to call off their killer secret agent Zionist dolphins
source: israellycool.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Want to save on heating bills? Get off your lazy ass and exercise, eat ginger, or get a dog to cuddle with. Sincerely, your local energy company
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently, Biden is going to give a major speech on voting rights today. Here is an article from CNN telling you everything you need to know about it, unless you want to know when it's actually scheduled to take place
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
If you've already bought a house for cash, this news won't affect you. If you are in the market and haven't locked in a fixed rate mortgage, well, then you won't want to hear this news. Either way, you shouldn't click the link
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
The school board for Spotsylvania County, Virginia, just had its first meeting of the year with its new chairman, a Trump conservative who wants to burn books. Let's see how that went, shall we?
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
NObOdY wAnTs To WoRk AnY mOrE
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Want to seem younger? It's not the bags under your eyes, but way you use your phone that's the giveaway. I thought it was my Clint Eastwood disgusted look that gave my age away
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
What were the first three mistakes you had when buying your car? 1) "1996", 2) "Pontiac", and 3) "Firebird" pretty much cover all the bases
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It's my lockdown party and I'll violate rules if I want to, violate rules if I want to. You would violate rules if you were the prime minister too
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 10, 2022
(CNN)
 
 
 
Oh, nothing, just a federal judge asking questions. "You have an almost 2-hour window where the President does not say, Stop, get out of the Capitol. This is not what I wanted you to do. [Why didn't] the President denounce the conduct immediately?"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Then: Your little girl wants a pony. Now, corrected for historical accuracy: Your little girl wants a warhorse
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Study finds that gruesome viking blood eagle is anatomically possible, you just have to really want it
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Cam Newton wants to play next year AND be on a winning team. Does not realize they are mutually exclusive goals
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ieee spectrum)
 
 
 
I don't want to welcome our new insentient AI overlords
source: spectrum.ieee.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Hey, I want to beat beat my meat on YouTube for a few minutes. You've gotta keep playing with the gravy. Two kinds of gravy. The lighting is horrible, and it's not HD, here's a Chicken Fried Steak and eggs breakfast
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 29 Philadelphia)
 
 
 
God and Big Macs got her to 106
source: fox29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 09, 2022
(CNN)
 
 
 
Worried you have been exposed to Covid? Want to get tested? Good luck with that
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
When the covidiots started using Hydroxychloroquine, I shook my head. When they started using horse dewormer, I laughed. But now they want to take my dick pills, will somebody stop this madness
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
PayPal wants to get into Bitcoin babies
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"We're having a destination wedding and we only want a few guests, but apparently everyone is planning on attending. Did we mess up?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 08, 2022
(Vice)
 
 
 
Just like how a screaming train flying off the rails commands attention, a certain face painted goblin has opinions he wants to share
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spokesman Review)
 
 
 
Governor Jay Inslee wants it to be a crime to lie about election results. Governor Abrams, President Gore, President Clinton all approve
source: spokesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 23 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Can't find anyone wanting to be a school janitor? Why not have the students double as custodians?
source: fox23.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This kid does more in one day than many of us do in a week
source: parents.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Nobody wants to see Pixar movies in the theater anymore, they're too popular
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
AMD nerfed the upcoming 6500 XT so hard that no cryptominer would possibly want one
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Steve Bannon: I want to take out a loan with this house as collateral. Bank: On your house? Bannon: No, just a house
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Power goes out in the winter and you want to start your gas fireplace for heat? Not so fast, new NY homeowners
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 07, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
2020: We're not going to respond to the census, we don't want the government tracking us 2022: The census undercounted our population by 10% and now we need money
source: nowhabersham.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YourTango)
 
 
 
"I am 18 years old. My father refuses to pay my college tuition and wants a DNA test after he found out my mom cheated on him 18 years ago"
source: yourtango.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 06, 2022
(Amazon Advisor)
 
 
 
Why do we fight? What do we do with our little brother? And why do we fark? "The Expanse" S6E5 is streaming now on Amazon Prime
source: amazonadviser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago Mayor: To all those teachers who want to be safe and stay home I just want you to know: We are gonna sue your asses
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump did not want peace
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
New York Times wants us to believe that COVID was started by Tim Burton
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Myth #6: a respectful space is needed for those who want to express doubts about the science
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Cyber Ninjas showing up in court about as prepared and together as a forensic audit of Arizona ballots; lawyer wants to quit because he's not getting paid, backup lawyers are from out of state and not allowed to address the court
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Futurism)
 
 
 
Ousted NASA mad scientist wants to create a weapon to heat planetary atmosphere from space
source: futurism.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
The Milwaukee Bucks plan on waiving Cousins. No word on what they want to do with Aunts and Uncles
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume. If we wish to make it softer, we will tune it to a whisper. We will control the horizontal. We will control the vertical. We can roll the image, make it
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Want to take a cruise? Try Ocean Breeze Soap instead, just like the real thing, there's no ship and you're not going anywhere
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Dear Deidre, I'm really worried my girlfriend's been cheating on me with her lesbian friend. On the other hand, I can't stop thinking how hot that is
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 05, 2022
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
When trying to steal an ATM you might not want to use a city government truck, Mr. Department of Public Works employee
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Wisconsin Republicans want CRT taught in schools... just kidding but they do want a class in how to "interact" with cops
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The Federal Trade Commission wants to help you leave your gym membership in 26 minutes
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
From now on, if you want to ask an NFL draft prospect if his mom was a prostitute, it's gonna cost you a draft pick
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBN Youngstown)
 
 
 
"It was part of the vision of what we wanted to do in the neighborhood." Evidently that vision doesn't involve paying employees
source: wkbn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
That day your Apple Memories sends you a reminder of the time you had to hide from rampaging insurrectionists in the Capitol. Ah, memories
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox2 Detroit)
 
 
 
Inflation destroys another great American institution: The classic Little Caesars $5 Hot-N-Ready pizza is, and you might want to sit down for this, no longer $5
source: fox2detroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
C'mon, you know you want to drive the Nutmobile
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 04, 2022
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Dell wants to "innovate." Dude, you're getting a touch bar
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Want. Pinball + Fark's favorite band
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
Please remember, if you are going to pay for Wagyu steak do not throw A1 on it
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Hero pup saves injured hiker by lying on him to keep him warm till help arrives. Your dog wants tent stakes
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Want to save Democracy? Log out of Facebook
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Antonio Brown remains on Buccaneers' roster and wants you to know he has dropped a new rap song. All of this is true
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
 
 
Rogers: The Musical was supposed to be written so it would suck, but we still want to see it
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Maybe Fanatics wants to be the Topps in the business
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
Florida Surgeon General: Getting tested for covid will negatively impact your mental health, then you'll be like the rest of the GOP
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Do you want ants? Because this is how we get ants
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick who wanted a special session of the Texas legislature called so that there could be no mask mandates or vaccine mandates, come on down and show us what you won. It is a positive Covid diagnosis. We need a schadenfreude tag
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 03, 2022
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
How Bruce Arians addressed the locker room after Antonio Brown's bizarre exit: "You're either with us or against us. And I want you to know I'll take the guys in this locker room and go play anyone in the world"
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Finland gets pokey with the Russian bear, says it can join NATO if it wants to
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Telling tales, it seemed, was a good way to loosen things up, a useful time-killer, but what he really wanted was an MSNBC thread at 7pm Eastern into which he could pour his energies and his intelligence
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Hello? 911? I want to report a murder
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Old wisdom: Americans know trucks. New wisdom: Koreans know trucks. Best new pickup of 2021 is half the size of a US pickup
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 02, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today I rediscovered grilling burgers whilst drinking scotch in -10C temps. I also discovered how tipsy-giggles one gets after warming up from such activities. Why r u shnoggled right now?
source: familyhandyman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Sticks Guy)
 
 
 
The Sunday Morning Music Club wants to start the new year off on the right foot. If that foot happens to be on a drum pedal, that is. We're looking for the best drum songs of all time
source: zinginstruments.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Virginia teachers' union sends parents a letter saying they don't want to reopen schools due to Omicron. The 5-paragraph letter contains 20 grammar and punctuation errors, so parents and their kids grade it and send it back
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Joe Manchin wants to save the coal industry
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 01, 2022
(Narcity)
 
 
 
If you think that dating a dermatologist with a ski lodge in Aspen is going to make you into your mom's favorite child, you might want to think again. After all, your sister is dating that guy from Costco
source: narcity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Japan wants to give us a space woody
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
The non-profit cat rescue in Holland known as Piper's Palace is working to raise money to build their own "palace" for kittens and cats in need of homes. They are also raising funds for some little wooden kitty shoes. Welcome to the first Caturday of 2022
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Wanted: Barkeep/caretaker to run remote UK pub. Benefits include room board, and being crowned king
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 31, 2021
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you just updated Firefox on Linux and now fullscreen video performance sucks, you may want to check out if compositing for Webrender is still set for Software mode
source: wiki.archlinux.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
PSA: Your dog does NOT want its fur dyed red or any color
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Try not to use the 'n' word. Especially if you're a Judge. And definitely don't elaborate with roach comparisons. Unless that's how you want to go out resigning
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Rick Martinez rings in the New Year with his spicy, sassy take on shrimp and grits, combined with some sort of grapefruit habanero cocktail that looks amazeballs. Also his nails are gorgeous and Purple Velvet Jacket FTW. I want to go to there
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
2020 Two bugaboo. Predictions?
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
Want popcorn or candy at French cinemas? Forget it
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 29, 2021
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Trinity wants to take on John Wick
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Are you an entitled consumer who doesn't appreciate the free gifts you got for the holidays? Some online retailers are offering refunds while still leaving you with the work of disposing of your unwanted items
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
When you want to have as little as possible to do with other people, you need more jidō hanbaiki
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Might want to start buying beachfront property in Arizona now
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
No one wants to drive city buses, and leading economists can't understand why. Probably because no leading economist has ever taken a city bus and seen how shiatty bus drivers are treated in MAGA times
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
From the Chicago Bears to his wife to his random hook-ups: No one wants to admit they drafted Jay Cutler
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
OMG my fiancé is, like, wealthy and stuff but he's STILL making me pay my share of rent for the place we live together and it's not fair because I don't want to pay and why can't he acknowledge all my sacrifices?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Country Public Radio)
 
 
 
Teenagers volunteer for a job no one else wants to do
source: northcountrypublicradio.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 28, 2021
(Twitter)
 
 
 
No one wants to work
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
Does anyone care what a fish looks like? Do you have a boat? Should you buy a boat? Do you want to go fishing? Don't worry about the shotgun. We'll have fun. Eat it, it tastes really, really good
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Thanks to recent accessibility improvements to the Capitol building, Colorado's first lawmaker to use a wheelchair will now have the chance to preside over the full chamber. Presumably his next task will be to defeat a rotten tree in single combat
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Why do people who know I have a fake vaccination card not want to hang out with me? I better ask a mainstream news publication for maximum embarrassment potential
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"I'm dating my ex-girlfriend's daughter and had no idea. Will this end well?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Quack running for Senate wants Oprah to stay away
source: blackenterprise.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 27, 2021
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Even Johnny Manziel wants no part of the slow motion trainwreck that is the New York FOOTBALL Giants
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Men Charged with plotting to kidnap Governor Whitmer: we didn't WANT to kidnap Governor Whitmer, but the undercover FBI informant just kept badgering us until we agreed to do it. What else were we supposed to do? Tell on him to the cops or something?
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Is Phish worth Covid? 30-year-old Phishhead attended weekend of back-to-back concerts in August because he wanted to share the experience with his girlfriend for the first time, now remarks: "It was so stupid"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Euphemisms wanted. With so many Republicans choosing death, can we put a kind spin on their passing? "Suicide by Covid?" "Chose liberty *and* death?" "Gained the freedom of the grave?" "Terminal validity?" "Got in the last word?"
source: joincake.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 26, 2021
(YouTube)
 
 
 
"Hey Son, what do you want for Christmas?" "I want to go to the gas station and get a freshly-made, tasty sandwich with a whopping 1/4 lb of meat and 3 slices of cheese" "...ok?"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Giants OT Matt Peart held out after knee injury. Giants don't want to roll the bones and Rush him back, as much as he loves the limelight, doctors saw subdivisions and hope his knee doesn't need the caress of steel
source: sny.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
What do you do with your unwanted Christmas gifts?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Want to know the best way to store Christmas decorations so your future self doesn't hate you? Here comes the holiday science
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
Video
 
We all know it's a TV tradition to air "It's a Wonderful Life" this time of year, but here's a very cool science angle early in the movie that you might want to check out
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Music Radar)
 
 
 
Brian Eno doesn't like NFT's. "If I had primarily wanted to make money I would have had a different career as a different kind of person. I probably wouldn't have chosen to be an artist. Now artists can become little capitalist assholes as well"
source: musicradar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 25, 2021
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Obvious: COVID-19 deaths go underreported in red counties. Stupid: Because families want to keep COVID-19 off the death certificate. Murica: Until they learn that the federal government will cover burials for anyone who dies of it
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
City that's going to be completely underwater within the century wants to be the new crypto capital of the world, which makes perfect sense actually
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Christmas boat parade checklist: Boats, colorful lights, Fark Joe Biden flags, Santa suits. Yep, it's all there
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRG)
 
 
 
Overworked and exhausted Unitypoint healthcare workers plead with Iowans to get vaccinated. Iowans: "Nah, fark you. We do what we want"
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
"NO ONE WANTS TO WORK" signs were a scourge of 2021
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 24, 2021
(CBC)
 
 
 
Help Wanted - Pro: Have all the beer you want. Con: Move to a remote castle on a desolate British island. Pro: You get to be called "the monarch." Con: There are only two people on the island. Pro: Well...there are no more pros
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
No, nobody is *destined* to remain dumb forever. It's just that too many are destined to remain dumb for way too long
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 23, 2021
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A disgruntled Finnish Tesla owner who didn't want to shell out £17,000 for the cost of a replacement battery. has detonated his electric vehicle - along with an effigy of Tesla founder Elon Musk - to protest
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
NFL QB Aaron Rodgers wants to know why everyone thinks he's an idiot
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Texas man convicted of "providing material support to terrorism" for giving money to a friend who wanted to join ISIS. Judge gave him 18 months, Prosecutors appealed pointing out he isn't white. TX Appeal court agrees, gives him 12 years instead
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudence, my dad left my mom for a stripper. Now that the stripper is dead, do I really have to mourn?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
TotalFark sponsorship thread. Stop in, say hi, get a month of TotalFark. I'll hook up as many people as I can until I'm out. Anyone else, who wants to help make someone's Holidays a little better, feel free to sponsor in this thread, too
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 22, 2021
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Those of yinz familiar with Pittsburgh's Hill District might want to know officials just busted a dumpster diver: a 260-pound black bear
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Prime Minister calls on Japan to put milk in EVERYTHING
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
All I want for Christmas ... is Vieeeeews
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
"When I say I piss teal, I mean it." Subby is not a doctor, but Coastal Carolina QB Grayson McCall might want to get that checked
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Pfizer has been approved to give you oral or at least that's what I want to believe this says
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Colorado Barbie wants to know if liberals are checking Santa's vaccine card. Tag is for Barbie
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
In case someone wants to read about a healthy hobbyist community for once
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Tucker Carlson: "The Democrats suck at everything so they want to kill Santa and run over his reindeer with a Prius"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 21, 2021
(The Spun)
 
 
 
There's one rule Tom Brady wants the NFL to do away with. Sorry, Tom, but the balls must be filled with air
source: thespun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
New England governor is well-educated, worked in health and human services, and was CEO of a health system. You'd think he'd understand a layered approach to COVID-19 countermeasures, but for some (R)eason, he doesn't want to mandate masks
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
"You need to overcome the tug of people against you as you reach for high goals. Now, who wants to hit this bong?" ~ George Patton
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Kentucky basketball team has been fully vaccinated and boostered. "Some did not want to do it, but did it for their teammates and their families." Duke sucks
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Want Swiss citizenship? Rule Number 1: Never ask for less cowbell
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Anybody have a recommendation for their favorite frozen gyoza/potsticker/dumpling? I have a number of Asian markets nearby and no I don't want to make my own. TIA
source: bitemybun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Manchin says, redo the bill, my grift cashflow has slowed way down. Plus, I want to laugh with my Republican pals down at the bar about all my "Democrat" views that I don't have
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
♬ I want candy. Who has candy? I want candy. Can't find any candy
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but it looks like Wal-Mart cares as little about the environment as it does about its employees' health care
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Would you want a hotel room that sees into a restaurant? Subby is now hungry
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman spends three months researching her tattoo that she wanted of two faces with one mind, left mortified after stranger points out her new tattoo looks like butt stuff
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
National Post celebrates the end of retirement, high-five over elders bicycling for Doordash, driving for Lyft, spending 8 hour shifts working a drive-thru with a hearing aid
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Manager wants you to work overtime? Just accept Morohito as your not lord but maybe savior
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
United Mine Workers to Manchin: We want to Build Back Better
source: umwa.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 20, 2021
(Dog bless)
 
 
 
Consumers look for five things when choosing their melons; dyslexics just want them to be bright yellow with a nice citrus odor
source: freshfruitportal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
Plenty of snow, so please don't bring weed
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"No one wants to see Peter Parker having sex." Giant online repository of fanfic begs to differ
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Are you traveling over the holidays? Then you might want to stay away from THE MOST DANGEROUS ROADS IN THE US (Dun dun DUUUUUUNNNN)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stalled)
 
 
 
Motorists want roadway expansions provided that somebody else foots the bill, but when required to pay directly through tolls, the demand for more capacity disappears. What to do?
source: planetizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"I want to acknowledge the gravity of this poor instructional decision, as students should never be asked to act out or portray any atrocity, especially genocide, war, or murder." Ya think?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Boulder)
 
 
 
If you are a conservative, Donald Trump Jr. wants you to ignore Jesus' teachings about being peaceful because that kind of mentality is not working for Republicans
source: dailyboulder.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 19, 2021
(ABC News)
 
 
 
You want a trip to Oz? This is how trips to Oz get started. Or maybe it is just what happens after grandma gets hit on the head with a water tank. Hero tag for the bathtub
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Want to get away from it all for 4 to 15 months? Come to Antarctica because someone has to keep lights on, water running, people warm. "Each job carries a huge responsibility but where else can you visit a penguin colony on your day off?"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jewish Journal)
 
 
 
So you walk into a bar, and there's a line of people waiting to punch you in the face
source: jewishjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but it looks like the GSA -- the federal agency responsible for ensuring that Trump didn't illegally profit from his DC hotel while president -- basically accepted his promise that he wouldn't and did nothing else
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 18, 2021
(AOL)
 
 
 
Who's asking, tough guy? You want a piece of this? Come at me, bro
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Headline: "Burglar Wanted In More Than 60 Break-Ins" See there, kids? Do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Everything you wanted to know about at-home Covid tests but were afraid to ask
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 17, 2021
(Berkshire Eagle)
 
 
 
You can get anything you want, except married in Florida without some jagoff hitting your car right after the ceremony
source: berkshireeagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
How much would you want to bet that the Commanding Officers of these discharged Marines are glad to be rid of them?
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Kickstarter: We're moving everything to blockchain, because reasons. And we're going to explain it to everyone using small words because our users are a bunch of technology-impaired neanderthals
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Seems the Senate Minority Leader sees the writing on the wall and want to land on the right side of history, that or he's had enough of TFGs backstabbing
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Tucker Carlson wants to hear more about your prostate every day
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"The entire school year, my kid's been completely lying about homework, school, and everything involving education. I'm floored and while I could have checked up on things, I mean, you have to trust a child. Right?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 16, 2021
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Wingsuit daredevil taunts the volcano god, becomes first to fly in and out of an active one
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
'The Book of Boba Fett' trailers have been boring because producers only wanted to include footage from the first half of the first episode. Presumably after that is when Baby Jabba shows up
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
In Australia, everything wants to kill you. The plants, the bouncy castles, the animals, the people... wait, back up
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Manchin announced opposition to 1 year extension of child tax credit...... because he wants a full 10 years
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fansided)
 
 
 
Urban Meyer's daughter on social media: "the enemy wants us to crumble & crawl into a hole. But I think you just released the kraken in me." Phil McKraken unavailable for comment
source: fansided.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Dear Deidre, my boyfriend cheated on me with girls from my football team and now I want revenge. Dear Cheated On, the answer for this is easy: Do his whole football team except for him
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
If you wanted to know the truth about Trump, you shoulda been on Fark. We've had it here all along. Every one of these current Trump's an idiot breaking stories broke a year ago on Fark
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Enzo knows what he wants
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My brother has a new job: Sleeping with married couples for money. Aside from the tax implications, do I need to report this unethical discovery?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Javier Barden wanted to back out of being Ricky Ricardo but realized he'd have too much 'splaining to do
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
"My husband intentionally caught Covid and brought it home. Am I right to be pissed?"
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 15, 2021
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
Once a simple work like adapting Dune is finished, Denis Villeneuve wants to try a much more difficult sci-fi adaptation
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside the Magic)
 
 
 
When Harrison Ford said he wouldn't return to Star Wars unless they killed off Han Solo, for some nutty reason everyone kind of thought that he didn't want to play Han Solo anymore
source: insidethemagic.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
White House: We're gonna build half a million car chargers. Exxon senators: Hmm, maybe half that. White House: We're gonna build half a million of those slow chargers no one will want to use
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"One of the more insidious myths this year was that young people didn't want to work because they were getting by just fine on government aid. People had too much money, went the narrative. Only trouble is, the numbers don't back it up"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
I want to be... In shallow seas... Growing an oyster garden, for the reefs
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I can want a 65-inch TV for $50, but it doesn't mean there's a TV shortage, it means I'm not willing to pay enough to get somebody to sell me a TV
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
So opening the door and throwing them overboard isn't an option?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
The early 2000's called...they want their laptops back
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Don't want to bring our racist mascot back? That's a punchin'
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
No More Lies: Erik Voss breaks down the new International trailer for The Batman. [WARNING: if any of Voss' guesses are right, you may not want to see this]
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
WWII veteran throws wild 101st birthday party, looks better and has more energy than most farkers. Subby wants to party with Lenny on his 102nd
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Just in case you were distracted by all the other space launch news lately, Boeing wants to let you know that they're still investigating that valve problem
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
What does the American right want?
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
R.I.P. Frank "Frankie" Little Jr 🎵 They smilin' in your face 🎵 All the time, they want to take your place 🎵 The back stabbers
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Police find wanted woman hiding in refrigerator
source: wkvi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 14, 2021
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Too old for American Girl dolls, but still want to spend too much money on a sanitized fictional version of historical America? Say no more
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I totally do not understand why no one wants to work in the food industry
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Britain's greatest troll wants you to know that Elon Musk will save Earth if you liberals will just let him
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Judge Amy Berman Jackson said the riot was a 'definition of tyranny.' "Let the record be crystal clear that it is not patriotism, it is not justified to descend on the Capitol at the behest of a candidate who lost an election and terrorize others,"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hoops Guy)
 
 
 
Lakers and Russell Westbrook not meshing well, so LA considers getting out of $91MM in guaranteed money via dumping him on another team. Alas, Cleveland doesn't want him, the 76ers don't want him, and the Rockets don't want him back
source: hoopshype.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rotten Tomatoes)
 
 
 
No Way Home can't escape a perfect Rotten Tomatoes score from critics
source: rottentomatoes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
DC Attorney General wants to turn Proud Boys into Poor Boys
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Betty Bowers: To Republicans life is precious, except when it comes to healthcare. Then they want you to be sick and die somewhere else, because it's what Republican Jesus also wants
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Signs the Ghislaine Maxwell defense team is in for a rough go of things: They've submitted a list of 35 defense witnesses they want to call, IF the judge lets them testify under fake names. Oh, and a lot of the witnesses aren't returning their calls
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
UK Shotgun Expert claims he 'only wanted to scare' his daughter's partner by firing a shotgun at him. Seeing as he shot him twice, I'd say he was bloody terrified
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
You have an Instagram handle that Mark Zuckerberg wants. Do you A) sell it to him for a few million dollars B) keep your account, which has your life's work on it, or C) Wonder why the hell it magically disappeared?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Britney slams Diane Sawyer for a 2003 interview she did. If any of you FARKers can remember what you were doing in 2003, we're disabling your account
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Mars attacked 25 years ago. Even in a time of intergalactic crisis, people still want to roll them bones
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Despite having already eliminated most of the absentee drop boxes in metro Atlanta, the GOP now want them completely banned
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 13, 2021
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Who else wants to see Mark Meadows get his feathers clipped? Jan 6 Committee holds hearing to decide on whether or not to refer the insider insurrectionist to Justice for contempt, LIVE at 7PM ET
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Like the dog who finally caught the car and didn't know what to do, the Taliban now wants to kiss and make up with the U.S. after realizing running a country is a lot harder than they thought
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Social media is a threat to democracy, so I just wanted to extend my thanks
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Spun)
 
 
 
So is it that the NFL doesn't want the Bills to win, or that the NFL wants the Brady to win?
source: thespun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 12, 2021
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Payout promised for purloined pink pawed Pomeranian pooch pumped precipitously presuming person promptly produces pet
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Why no one wants to work anymore. Let's bang on the drums all day instead
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
More like NOchella for Travis Scott
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Historic buildings, Queen Elizabeth II, CEOs, and bad snack food you kinda want to try anyway are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Nov 28 - Dec 4 Matlock Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Before we throw on our Members Only jackets and head to the mall for an Orange Julius, the Sunday Morning Music Club wants to know what is the most '80s song of all time
source: thetoptens.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
They want their two dollars
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 11, 2021
(NPR)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but a new feature Ticketmaster launched to "level the playing field" for ticket buyers has done nothing of the sort
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
"Want us restaurants to survive the winter? Help us, please"
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"I'm worried about where my son's World War II obsession will take him and I don't want to say I did not see it coming"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 10, 2021
(IGN)
 
 
 
Spider-Man wants to be in Spider-Man, but so far nobody's called back
source: ign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The Supreme Court is about to take away a woman's right to abortion, but the conservative justices on it want you to know that they're only doing it because women have achieved full equality with men and abortions are no longer needed. So feel proud
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Momma cat wants the baby kitty and the hooman baby to entertain each other
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
We now go live to Recall Sawant headquarters for their reaction
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Remember that Wayne County GQPer who didn't want to certify Biden's win, then did certify, then tried to "rescind" his certification? Well, he won't be doing any of those things ever again
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
UPDATE: Quack "doctor" still wants to be a Senator. Here's a bit more on Dr. Val Arkoosh, the respected Doctor who's also running
source: tech-gate.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 09, 2021
(Amazon)
 
 
 
Subby is struggling with finding Christmas gifts for Dad who says he doesn't want anything. Suggestions? Please help
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Help wanted sign: Candidate must be "actually available, has an open schedule, doesn't cry, is never late, has no excuses, works hard, has no bullsh*t, smiles no matter what." Oddly, it fails to talk at all about what THEY are offering YOU
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
New York Attorney General Letitia James suspends campaign for governor, as she wants to spend more time with her Trump family investigation
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Gap closing in race to recall Councilmember Kshama Sawant. Wait, the Gap was still open? I thought they closed in the nineties
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Subby just learned what a Juice WRLD is and now wants to know: when did Rap become Emo?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
She has one kid. He has four. He wants to split the estate five ways. She doesn't like that. What now?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Giant Freakin Robot)
 
 
 
Bye, Letitia
source: giantfreakinrobot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJHL Tri-Cities)
 
 
 
If you ever wanted to know why Garfield was so abusive of Odie
source: wjhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
City announces plans for America's first large-scale autonomous-vehicle urban transit system, aiming for fleet of 100 vehicles. Just in case you want to cruise autonomously around Trenton, New Jersey in the future
source: trentondaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 08, 2021
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
What are you doing this Sunday? Want to play for the Texans? Because at the rate they are cutting players you might at least make the practice squad
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Tiny town wants to be known as the UK's smallest city. Being on the coast and feeling the motion of the ocean every day, "As it is often said, size is not important." Shrinkage also not considered an issue
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ukraine welcomes Biden-Putin call as path to deterrence and de-escalation, wisely leaves out the part about not wanting to be a proxy battleground but it's certainly implied
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Scientists want to electrify the ocean to make it a carbon-fighting machine. Fark all the fish, in particular
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
Whipple heads to Nebraska, still doesn't want you squeezing the Charmin
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter