headlines found matching 'United States' NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Sun April 11, 2021 |
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Apparently in the Sunshine State, if you are an average shmuck who gets arrested, cops will gleefully tweet out your mugshot before you've even been so much as charge with a crime, but if you are a state official, that's protected information
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You really shouldn't leave your 4 year old in the car while you shop for new toys for yourselves, Moms
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Who are these Canadians? And you what: nevermind you can just keep them if you like them so much
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Car & Driver magazine advocates for a higher state-level gas tax, wins today's brass balls award for taking a stand their advertisers might dislike
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This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it
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Makur Maker's mark
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It's Night 2 of WrestleMania 37. Will Nattie & Tamina prove nobody's meaner esp Nia & Shayna? Does K.O. stun some sense into Sami? Can Roman stay at the head of the table vs Edge vs Daniel Bryan? BECKS? Watch it live starting at 8 PM ET on Peacock
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Might wanna sit down for this shocker: so it turns out that fascist shock jock Michael "Savage" Weiner wasn't a very great choice for the Presidio Trust's board of trustees
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Maryland state legislature overrides gubernatorial veto, repeals its police "Bill of Rights"
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10 "radical new rules" that are changing America for the worse. Warning: Note the source
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Who am I to disagree with Rob Halford?
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Just hours after starting up new advanced centrifuges capable of enriching uranium faster, Iran's underground Natanz nuclear facility lost power. Hmm... what a strange coincidence
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Man walks up to a random Asian person in Penn Station and tells them "go back to China before you end up in the (expletive) graveyard." He chose his victim poorly
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| (Some ASDIC) |
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Today is the anniversary of the passing of Hal Lawrence, half of a duo of Canadian sailors who forced the surrender of a Nazi U-boat . . . while mostly nude
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| Fri April 09, 2021 |
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Freedom reset by peer
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This is how you trigger the dictator in Beijing
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| (Some Guy) |
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Pillow Guy hiring Private Investigator. Fox News yawns cautiously
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Steve Urkel's Evil Twin insists that yes, Texas CAN secede. "We could go back to being our own Republic"
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The cynical rationale for Democracy
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Sidney Powell in her latest court filing arguing against sanction, A) quotes Buzz LightYear ; B) accuses someone of "political grandstanding; or C) both. The reply brief may use: "There seems to be no sign of intelligent life anywhere"
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US Air Force retreats from space and cyberspace
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She also noticed her racial identity in a new way. "My race change happened due to my new political ideology," says Guimarães, now a supporter of President Jair Bolsonaro. In 2020, she declared herself White
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America's brother decides that they want to be as cool as the USA
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"April 9th is a glorious anniversary: the day Gen. Ulysses S. Grant, Commanding General of the US Army, received the surrender of Robert E. Lee, a renegade US Army Colonel who was a leader of a violent rebellion against the United States"
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American workers with loads of PTO because of the pandemic will vacation like the French this one glorious summer
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Even as a terror attack involving a gun struck his state, Greg Abbot ranted about the Second Amendment because guns are more important than lives
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KS Senate Majority Leader to step aside after driving the wrong way at twice the legal limit blood alcohol limit, threatening to fight police, and calling one officer "Donut Boy." But hey, he's a Republican and no minors got raped, so that's a plus
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Warner Bros. to try and put the genie back in the bottle, will require you to go to the theater if you want to see sparkly Batman
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Russia: A declining power, yet forever a pain in the ass
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Biden Administration wants to ratchet up the tensions by sending warships to the Black Sea to counter the Russian military build-up near Ukraine
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Biden Administration wants to ratchet up the tensions by sending warships to the Black Sea to counter the Russian military build-up near Ukraine
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Turns out the USA has lots of "zombie" programs not authorized by Congress that could save us $322 billion if we eliminated them. So we could close (checks list) the FBI, DEA, BATFE, FTC, NWS, and the State Department as unauthorized programs
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Canada adds 300,000 jobs, Canadian
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Supply of the COVID vaccine could exceed demand by the end of the month, well before we've reached herd immunity. Thank you, white republicans
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| (Some Guy) |
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Easier on your brain than figuring out some of the moon logic in classic point & click adventure games it's the Friday Fark Gaming Thread. LGT 3 out of 10: Season 2 free at Epic. What have you been playing this week? Side note: Favourite mods?
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There is no greater racist trope than that of the drug-crazed Black man
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Stephen Miller for Prison
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Last year, demand was down. This year, supply is down
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We're gonna vacation like the French this summer, so surrender to that fact
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Australia declares open season on wild stallions; Bill, Ted despondent
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"I know, why don't we plant that boat?"
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| Thu April 08, 2021 |
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Governor Ron DeSantis sues CDC over its no-sail order on cruise ships because billions for businesses always trumps thousands of COVID deaths
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New Mexico ends qualified immunity, finally becoming known for something other than meth and aliens
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In the most confusing ruling since "There, They're & Their", the UK All Party parliamentary group rules pro wrestling a sport while at training but theater once the curtain goes up. Shakespeare in the squared circle, anyone?
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Golf + Instagram = please hand me my One Wood
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I'll admit that I only skimmed this headline, but it looks like states are going to start receiving dragons from the federal government. Can we request our own Khaleesi along with them?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Problem: Russia facing an impending economic crisis if/when they get kicked out of the SWIFT banking system. Solution: Let's start our own banking system, with blackjack and hookers. China: How about no? Does no work for you?
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Trump senior aide and Wormtongue cosplayer Stephen Miller launches PAC to challenge Biden's policies called "America First Legal" and is being hailed as a "conservative ACLU"
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Facebook to deploy Satire tag, no word on possible Florida tag
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Sidney Powell: No reasonable person would believe that the conspiracy theories I presented in court were factual. Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel: And yet you still presented them in court, and that's exactly why you should be sanctioned
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Sex Trafficker will be feature speaker at a pro-Trump women's event. Or as Matt calls it: "speed dating"
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Megan Rapinoe on Draymond Green: "You obviously kind of showed your whole ass in not even understanding what we all talk about all the time... You don't think we've asked for more funding? What are we screaming about nonstop?"
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Let me get this right: A state that exists because it didn't cop to Virginia joining the Confederacy is making it illegal to tear down statues honoring the Confederate traitors who caused their state to break away from the traitorous Confederacy?
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"I'm Ralph Wiggum," an op-ed from Joe Manchin
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Good news, everybody. The Air Force has a new missile, the ARRW, a hypersonic super weapon that moves at 5 times the speed of sound. And once they figure out why it doesn't detach from the airplane's wing when fired, it's gonna really kick some ass
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| (Some Nobody) |
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Back in 2019, someone created a people map of the US, where city names are replaced by their most Wikipedia'ed resident - someone who was born in, lived in, or connected to that place
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Willie Nelson is rolling up a brand-new cannabis convention
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The pandemic has led to a lot of people getting into new outdoor activities like hiking. The pandemic has also led to a lot of people getting lost ... and it's really annoying rescue crews
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715-44
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Simon & Schuster to publish Mike Pence's autobiography. Got any ideas for a title? Let's hear them
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Georgia decides to spike the ball on the one yard line
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We'll call that a fail then
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| Wed April 07, 2021 |
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Move over Ken Burns. This documentary filmmaker goes where no one has dared to go before in exposing the psychopathy of Western Colonialism. How real is it? Well, he even got Gov. Rick DeSantis to show up as a pretty believable Confederate Reenactor
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US: Time to open the borders and let people through so they can seek better lives. Canada: Not so fast, amigo
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Trump backs Mo Brooks in Alabama senate race, the same Mo Brooks who praised the Capitol insurrectionists for "kicking ass"
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He's been a spy, a cowboy, a babysitter, a cop and a monkey. Now he's a 67-year old. Happy Birthday to Jackie Chan
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LA Sheriff says Tiger Woods rollover accident due to gritty reboot of Keanu Reeves/Sandra Bullock action film
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Huh, I don't remember the episode of Gilligan's Island where incels attempted to overthrow the government
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Second Amendment absolutists have zero arguments left against sensible gun control measures says *checks notes* The New York Post
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The chosen ones are back. Data shows world's Jewish population now as high as in 1925. Or, as my Jewish mother would note, the population is just now catching up from the effects of the Holocaust so when are you giving me a grandchild?
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The strangest home in every state. No mention of the strangest homeowner in every state
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"In any case, my headline from May of last year ... it was wrong, and by extension, I was wrong. It can be very good to be wrong. Mea culpa-and hooray, let's plan a wild summer"
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"Do I make a horny baby?"
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China warns Washington not to boycott Winter Olympics, claiming it would be a shame if all those human skulls they used to line the luge track with were to be wasted
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Matt Gaetz? Never heard of him, I think he got me an underage sex slave once
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Is it possible that working from home actually makes people drive more than when they're telecommuting? Slate doesn't know either, but they made up a bunch of hypothetical situations that imply it could be true. So, you know, be concerned
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Andrew Giuliani: "I'm 'strongly considering' running for governor of New York...NYAAAAAH"
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Either there's a problem with the Standard Model or someone needs to defrag the computer running our simulation
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Boehner blasts Trump over Jan 6 riot, calls him a terrorist. Heh, Boehner blasts
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GOP lawmakers model themselves after Putin's Russia in their persecution of LGBTQ+ adults and children
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Jamie Dimon is concerned. About, well, everything
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Kim Jong Un says North Korea is facing its "worst-ever situation," a time possibly even worse than when Dear Leader missed a five yard putt and had five hundred villagers executed by nine-iron as punishment
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Scorched Cotton
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For this inane madness, Subby blames those "you got chocolate in my peanut butter" commercials
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They pay shiatty wages and face crush of business this summer. But they might not have enough workers they pay shiatty wages to meet demand. How can they save their businesses that pay shiatty wages? If only there was one thing they could do
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Zoom zombies
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The 60 Minutes "hit" piece on DeSantis made him defrontrunner for 2024
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| (Some Drunk Guy) |
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If you ever needed a reason to drink a bunch on a Wednesday, this is it: today is National Beer Day
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What is Mike Pence's 2024 move?
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Reasons why conservatives are against rural broadband access that Biden is pushing. 1) Hypocrisy, Trump pushed for the same thing. 2) Rural voters may stumble upon the truth behind all of the lies Republicans have been feeding them
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Sixteen teams of handlers & dogs from a local therapy dog group are helping to alleviate the stress & providing comfort at St. Clair County vaccine clinics. Please welcome these good boys & girls & their handlers to this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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America should vaccinate the world
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The new B.1.1.7-variant school outbreaks seem linked to sports and extracurriculars, not classroom transmission
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Joe Biden is not planning to solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Also, has no plans to address eventual heat death of universe, what happens when an unstoppable force hits an immovable object, or the inscrutable terror of Nickelback
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| Tue April 06, 2021 |
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Women's group taps Matt Gaetz to head event; or at least that's what he's hoping
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New York, Michigan, Florida, Pennsylvania and New Jersey together reported 44% of the nation's new COVID-19 infections
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Wait, whiskey has side effects?
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It might surprise some of you but we're going to have elections again this year
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US considering Olympic boycott. This is not a repeat from 1980
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Texas Gov. Greg Abbott publicly slammed Facebook for "canceling conservative speech". Privately though, he's courting the social media giant to build a second data center in Texas
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If you were at the "Stop Asian Hate" rally in NYC this weekend and you noticed the woman who kinda looked like Rihanna, guess what?
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Americans' fear of catching COVID hits a record low, which is amazing given that nobody was scared of it in January 2020
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Not that she was likely to get many job offers in the next little while, but the US OSC has found that a former Trump HUD official violated the Hatch Act and fined her $1,000 and barred her from being employed by the federal government for 4 years
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Democrats' slim House majority is slimmer by one seat
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If you notice the Vermont governor's racism, you're a racist
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"I can blame Chinese people for Covid because I'm Korean, and I'll sue you for 10 million dollars if call me racist" says Trumper running for House Seat
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The first Americans share DNA with Indigenous Australians, proving once and for all that the Germans were here first
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Americans are spreading fake news faster than a government made virus carried by fleeing soldier and his family crashing into a gas station in east Texas
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Highest-paying states for 50 jobs. DC has the most. Alaska makes list for: crossing guards and flaggers; dental hygienists; locksmiths and safe repairers; massage therapists
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Joe Biden: Surprise President
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US economy at fastest pace since 1984, when Eurasia was still at war with Eastasia
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Is it normal to be stricken with joy and jealousy when seeing your friends get vaccinated?
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It looks like the main motivator for most of the traitors, criminals, and insurrectionists who took part in the Jan. 6 capital riot was the growing awareness that they no longer represent America's master race. Hey, guys? You never did
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Shooter wounds 2 at military base in Frederick, MD. Shooter has been "taken down", probably to Burger King
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Let's mosey down the street of 1940s 'merikuh to the corner store for a sodie-pop
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Today's Slatesplanation: Where America went wrong with Confederate monuments
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The mass murderer was right - the end of "The Office" sucked
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Matt Gaetz: Fighting for your right to post revenge porn on the internet
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North Korea photoshops itself out of the Tokyo Olympics
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Fine, a compromise: You can sail, but you can't dock
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| Mon April 05, 2021 |
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Clone of George Washington to announce candidacy for 2024
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DNC's new billboard campaign sells American Rescue Plan, shames Republican 'no' votes
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Jets send Sam Darnold and his winning ways to Carolina for draft picks
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Domestic malarkey now in Biden's crosshairs
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The true villain of the presidential immigration crisis? You guessed it, Frank Stallone
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New study finds that Republican control "is bad for democracy"
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Harvey Weinstein appeals conviction on grounds that victims' testimony made him look "loathsome"
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Biological fathers in Utah will be legally required to pay half of a woman's out-of-pocket pregnancy costs under a new law. Do they have unmarried sex in Utah?
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A Missouri lawmaker wants to make it easier to kill students with measles and whooping cough
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After screwing up the Johnson & Johnson vaccine, Emergent Biosolutions will miss out on screwing up the AstraZeneca vaccine
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Mitch McConnell (R) reminds U.S. corporations that although their donations to Republican campaigns and politicians are welcome, their opinions to the GOP's attempts at stifling democracy in America aren't
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LG quits the smartphone business to focus on building more mediocre dishwashers and stoves that break after 3 years and no repairman will touch
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You can't spell TRE45ON without 45
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Did the metaphor 'cancel' in 'cancel culture' originate with from the song "Your Love Is Cancelled" from Chic's 1981 album "Take It Off"?
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In fairness, he also thought 'goombahs' meant 'jerks' and 'krauts' meant 'poor cooks'
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7% of Americans still don't use the Internet. Who the hell are these people?
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4.0 magnitude earthquake hits LA, aka "Who farted, y'all?"
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Delta airlines canceled flights over the weekend due to "staff shortages." Just bad planning, or is there some kind of labor action happening?
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Bronx congressman wants billions for NYC public housing, which under NYC budgeting will totally buy three whole air conditioners - with enough left over for the DeBlasios to pick up something nice in the Hamptons
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Composting, artificial reefs, jewelry, vulture food, student aid, corpse farm - Who knew choosing your afterlife could be so complicated?
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Marjorie Taylor Greene (R) decides to hitch her clown car to Matt Gaetz's (R) sinking ship
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Your vaccine "cheat" days are adding up and infecting others
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Mormons plan to build twenty new temples. Buried way down: they're still baptizing the dead
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It is only logical to mark First Contact Day decades early and to ignore that little incident on Mars late in the 24th century. Tag is for as close as we have to Trek
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| Fri April 02, 2021 |
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Ultra-rare giraffe death trifecta in play
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Boy, conservatives sure hate cancel culture, which is why they suddenly want to cancel sports
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United States Conference of Catholic Bishops Parody twitter account asks Catholics what made them feel uncomfortable in church. Real Catholics respond with non parody answers
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New admin, who dis?
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Pompous people already blowing their stimulus checks on "I Got Vaccinated"-type merch on Etsy to rub it in to the havenots
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In another example of "Everything Trump Touches Dies," Asian Americans are leaving the Republican Party and joining the Democratic Party, thanks to Trump's "China Virus" rhetoric and the violence it inspired against them
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Raising taxes on overseas earnings by U.S. corporations would be a "globalist betrayal," an act of "economic surrender" to "special interests," according to unemployed man who claims to have some sort of business background and "the best words"
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Meet Alex Berenson - the Pandemic's Wrongest Man. On second thought, you probably don't want to meet him
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Colorado lawmakers are considering a proposal that would ban Native American mascots in public schools and colleges because it's like 2021 now and really, people
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How ready are you to introduce your pandemic baby to the world?
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Why yes, Matt Gaetz was the only no vote on 2017 human trafficking bill. Why do you ask?
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916k new jobs in March, unemployment down to 6%, we're all gonna die
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Protip, kids: if you're going to challenge the neighborhood cop to a game of basketball, might want to check and see if he's any good first
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Missouri House to voters: You can't have the Medicaid expansion you voted for if we don't fund it
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So what exactly is Good Friday anyway? Whether you are religious or not, be Good
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| (Some Guy) |
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More fun than waiting for your game to load on a 1541 it's the Friday Fark Gaming Thread. LGT Tales of the Neon Sea free at Epic. What have you been playing this week? Side note: hidden gems (recent or from back in the day) that others missed?
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Democrat Joe Manchin once again letting his party snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and blocking their goals -- by backing comprehensive immigration reform, including DACA
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Tucker Carlson calls Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a "low-IQ race-baiter"
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Raising US per capita income by $2400? It doesn't involve degrading myself, people with knives, or communism? Um, where are you from anyway? Delaware?
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| Thu April 01, 2021 |
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US Dept of Transportation invokes the Civil Rights Act to stop a Texas section of I-45 which was conveniently designed to destroy an overwhelmingly Black and Hispanic community. Good job, Pete
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Archbishop of Canterbury refutes Harry and Meghan's secret wedding claims
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Happy National Burrito Day
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Virginia's highest court okays removal of participation trophies
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♪ Like a bad neighbor, Russia is there ♪ with tanks and artillery
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| (Election Law Blog) |
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Supreme Court says you can't sue over vote suppression laws unless it is simultaneously long before the election and not long before the election
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Good god, America, "we're so close to the end, let's ruin it" was SNL, not PSA
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Tim Apple joins the bushel of criticism of the Peach State's voter suppression
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Tucker Carlson says that no one should care what a reckless, openly racist, low-IQ race-baiter thinks about national policy. Okay, fine, I'll change the channel. Thanks for the advice, Tuck
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We all know about "comfort food", but what food *really* makes us happy? Here comes the delicious taco-based science
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Obvious: The Georgia voter law having nothing to do with fraud. Obviously kicking your own ass in court: Georgia Governor admitting voter law has nothing to do with fraud
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Supreme Court finally begins to rein in liberal media hoaxes. Brought to you by the Sinclair Media Group
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Straight headline: "Sales of Bentleys and Lamborghinis are booming because rich people are bored"
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Proud Boy's lawyer argues the fact his client informed FBI about lizard people, mothman, bigfoot and antifa should buy him leniency in Jan. 6 conspiracy and insurrection
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Weekly jobless claims come in hot. A year into the pandemic and we are still seeing over 700k weekly, more than 2008's worst week
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Thinking about pranking someone today? Just keep in mind there's a 1-in-50 chance they'll never speak to you again
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There's always been kinked-up people with weird fetishists, then there's this husband who made his wife pretend to be amputee for sex and now wants to chop his own healthy limb off for more 'better' sex
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$10 trillion over 10 years?
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Someone give Mike Lindell a drug test
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Sean Hannity whines that maybe he needs to leave Facebook because "I'm not wanted there." Really, are you wanted anywhere?
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Biden urges leniency for people who have been sentenced for being high on crack
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When the mafia used to do this we called it extortion but today we call it economic parity and inclusion
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Scientists make a grisly discovery
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Arizona Republicans sue... Arizona Republicans
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April 1 is April Fools' Day. Let's see what you FARKers can come up with for a funny headline or any pranks you pull on people
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Lucy and Ethel seen running from the factory
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| Wed March 31, 2021 |
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Man successfully uses riding lawnmower as getaway vehicle twice from robberies. Oh Deere
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Crazy idea, but hear me out: If you sell guns for a living, maybe don't engage in criminal activities that may prohibit you from owning them
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Governor ends practice of hiring lobbyist for DC. FARK: Then promptly hires a staffer for $120k/year to lobby on his behalf in DC
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Biden to let tech worker Visa ban expire, according to reports. So if you're in tech and you want a new credit card, you're in luck
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Biden infrastructure plan is out. EVs on every corner, universal clean drinking water, 2M new homes, better road and rail. Shiat, a fella could have a pretty good time in DC with all that
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Los Angeles County sheriff says detectives have determined what caused Tiger Woods to crash his SUV, but they aren't going to tell you
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IMF chief warns fight isn't over in spite of unbelievable recovery
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Having achieved the third leading cause of death among Americans in 2020 behind heart disease and cancer, Covid now afraid it's peaked in life
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Wisconsin Supreme Court rules that Democratic governors don't get to govern
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Cosplay cowboys continue to ruin Texas
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Over/under on how long before he flips?
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Microsoft concerned American democracy might blue screen
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Le Lockdown Trois
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Immigration lawyer tries to look deep inside the John Tanton Papers to get information about a notorious activist who funded numerous hate groups. And you thought he smelled bad on the outside
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Forrest Fenn's treasure may have already been located but the consequences of the search show no signs of slowing down
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Bill in Washington State would ban for-profit immigrant detention centers, a move that almost--almost--makes up for Windows ME
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Oh, you don't like the term 'institutional racism'? How about a deal then - you end institutional racism, and then no one will have to use it again
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Infrastructure years are here
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"I wondered when y'all were going to show up. Guess you've seen the videos on my Facebook page"
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The amount of undetected fungi in the Millennium Seed Bank is mushrooming
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Prepare your anuses for "The Biden Boom" which is going to be real and spectacular
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Independent filmmakers are tired of Ken Burns getting all that sweet, sweet PBS money
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Google maps will now suggest "eco-friendly" routes to avoid slopes, because even Google engineers are sick of powder hounds, snow bunnies, and 80s teen comedy villains
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All of a sudden the NY Post is very concerned that a president is spending money. It's like there has been a change in administration or something
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The country that helped Donald Trump become president obtained illicit access to US government emails once he was president
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Invest your money in Boone's Farm and red Solo cups now, because when the pandemic's finally over, they'll sell out fast
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On this day in history, in 1854, Commodore Matthew Perry signed the Treaty of Kanagawa with Japan, an early role which provided important acting experience he would later use on 'Friends'
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Happy Birthday, Walken Tag
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That ship stuck in the Suez Canal was a metaphor, probably for the transient nature of "normalcy" in our intransient lives, the inherent duality of risk vs. comfort that our interconnectedness creates. Or something, I didn't read the damn article
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Old and sadly too common to be busted: swastikas in the US South. New racist symbolgy in ze Fatherland: Stars and Bars
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Democrats contemplating making their primary process be more representative of America
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New research is suggesting a sugary diet early in life could mean
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It's like if Ethan Hunt was a nerd ... and really into Pokemon
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Woman decides to test her Covid vaccine immunity by going to a wake without a mask and hugging family members after her shots. Since you are reading this here, well you know
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Tyler Perry has some regrets investing so much of Tyler Perry's money in what he thought was Tyler Perry's Georgia
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Nearly 20% of Americans didn't seek needed medical treatment during the pandemic due to cost. Many still had the good sense to avoid self-diagnosis on WebMD
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Í'm a shark I'm a sha-a-a-a-ark Ima just go 'wa-a-a-a-ay I'm a shark
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My SO made a sh*tty dinner and I told him so. Should I not have done that?
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$1 million missile wipes the floor with $5,000 drone: Saudi Edition
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Bad news for electric cars in the USA. Also, Sasksatchewan might want to brace themselves for hate tweets from confused Tesla Stans
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If you lose your hotel key, just call the front desk for a new one. Don't try to climb through the window. Symptoms include fatigue, loss of breath. Death may result
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Officer who arrested Georgia state Rep. Park Cannon says he was worried if one Black person had rights, they'd all want some
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| Tue March 30, 2021 |
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NYC mortuary workers rack up $20,000 on credit cards stolen from dead bodies. More charges to follow
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"Last time Suez Canal was blocked, 14 ships got stuck for eight years and formed a communist micronation complete with postage stamps and Olympic Games in which a dog won a medal"
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In wake of mass shooting, Georgia legislature makes future mass shootings easier
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44 lbs of meth, 16 lbs of cocaine found along with guns in a North Carolina home. C'mon guys, this is like a Wednesday here in Florida
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And now for something completely different, The Guardian fact-checks Trumps Geocities page with hilarious, while still being droll, results
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Today's 'found out' arrest and posed riot photos come from Oregon
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On this day in history, in 1775, King George endorsed the New England Restraining Act, while cautioning participants on the importance of safe words
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8 out of 9 SCOTUS Justices believe it is okay if Transunion labels you a terrorist so you are denied credit
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Biden's list of judge nominees is out so take a second to imagine which one Fox is concerned about
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California has administered more covid vaccinations to people than the entire population of 47 other states. And it's still among the states with the lowest vaccination rates to date. How does your state match up?
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"The Republican Party Is Driving the Nation's Democratic Decline" - Obvious tag has gerrymandered the sad tag into a new district 20 minutes away and located on a hellmouth
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The GOP doesn't need the legislative branch or White House to push their agenda through, they're going to do it through their stacked judiciary, including The Supreme Court
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"That was a helluva ping, Vasili"
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Judges coming out
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High-school student invents sutures that change color if a wound becomes infected. In non-related story, subby's high-school kids somehow managed to crawl out of bed and put on pants before their Zoom class
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NY Court rules Trump must face 'Apprentice' contestant's defamation lawsuit, opening him up to being questioned by lawyers under oath. And yes, you did just just hear the rage screams from all the way over there
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New poll shows 39% of Americans are idiots and believe their chiropractors and racist uncles about vaccines
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Gaetz hitting the gas to get out of Congress
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State Senator proposes 'Star Trek' rule to prevent future Florida lock downs, apparently wishing to enforce the Prime Directive to prohibit interference in the development of lethal diseases
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Behold The only thing more underwhelming than In-N-Out burgers: their fries
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Yes, the vaccines can stop COVID-19, but it is not perfect
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Today is National Pencil Day, a day to remember you're not always supposed to be playing with your pens
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54 years ago four lads and a bunch of other people got together for a record cover
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What is the best movie starring an SNL cast member? LGT Subby's pick. Difficulty: must be a comedy
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Cougars lick the Beavers, advance to Four play
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At long last the 45th President has launched his"Official Website". Let's go find out how cutting edge it is
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CDC bars plague rats from flying to the US from abroad. Their solution? Fly to Tijuana and walk across to San Diego and get on a flying disease tube there
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Would a bioterrorist do anything differently?
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10 Mbps upload ought to be enough for anybody
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Should we wish her well?
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| Mon March 29, 2021 |
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Texas Jr. wants its own tag
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Oh, he mad
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Exceeded only by perennial Kennedy Center favorite "Shear Madness" as DC's longest running farce, the US Supreme Court finally brings down the curtain on the "But her emails" Saga
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New poll shows most Americans think Trump was God awful except for his cult who still thinks he's President
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Ol' Crazy Eyes ratchets the projection up to "Mega Imax"
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Wait, but I thought some NSA contractor who stole national security secrets for the Russians told us all that the NSA does this shiat all the time? Was that not true? Or lordy lord
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Not only did Dr. Fauci NOT say a vaccine for Covid would take five years as some are falsely claiming online in order to discredit him and give Trump credit; but he pretty much nailed the vaccine timeline exactly, like he had experience with this
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Will someone take Drew out ahead of WrestleMania to earn Lashley's bounty? Sheamus is after Riddle's U.S. title, Asuka & Rhea make it official & puff, puff, pass...RVD is in the 2021 HOF Class. All this & more when RAW starts at 8 PM ET on USA
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Since he's not busy prosecuting Breonna Taylor's murderers, the Kentucky Attorney general wants to defend KY's abortion law in federal court instead. The SCOTUS has agreed to decide whether he has standing to do so since the Gov told him not to
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"S&P predicts Biden's infrastructure plan will create 2.3 million jobs by 2024, inject $5.7 trillion into the economy - which would be 10 times what was lost during the recession - and raise per-capita income by $2,400"
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The GOP will take the House in 2022 because of gerrymandering
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The Chinese government would very much like for companies to ignore the splashes of blood on their Nikes
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Know how gas prices tend to spike when oil supplies suddenly drop? WELL THIS IS LITERALLY ELEVENTY MILLION TIMES WORSE
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For you history nerds out there, in the run up to WW2, the major militaries of the world pushed to create this new ship idea, the Aircraft Carrier. In other news, South Korea is looking to enter the market
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January: Let Them Play protests in Michigan push to resume high school sports. March: basketball team wins district tournament, then forfeits regionals so they can go on spring break
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Michigan Man who stormed the Capitol arrested by the FBI. With shiat-eating farked-around grin posted to Facebook
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Faux News continues to prove "rock bottom" is just, like, your opinion, man
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Philippines deploys air force as Chinese ships spotted near giant wang
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The Trump team on coronavirus admits they knew the whole time and lied about it
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Cindy Hyde-Smith thinks people should avoid politics on the Sabbath, sometimes doubts your commitment to Sparkle Motion
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Cancel culture is as American as apple pie or capitalism
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Ted Cruz tries to provoke staffer at border facility into a confrontation
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"I'M ERIC AND I'M TOO PRETTY FOR PRISON and so is the rest of my family PLEASE NO DON'T LET ME BE ARRESTED"
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BMW now asks its drivers to pay about $200 to stop blinding you with their high beams
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| (Some Guy) |
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Kite surfing done wrong: They find your body in another country
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| Sun March 28, 2021 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Dodge notices SRTs are getting stolen left and right, offers new software update that requires you to enter a PIN if you want the engine to make more than 3HP. Not a typo
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Florida Man shooting up the Everglades
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Georgia governor Kemp pretends to be an idiot as cover for being racist
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♫ Baby you can drive my car, as long as you pay the taxes, beep beep, beep beep, yeah ♫
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Pastor who cut off ankle monitor while awaiting trial for child sex abuse charges in 2012, was tracked down in Mexico in 2019, returned to the US and just sentenced to 25 years without parole. US Marshals don't fark around
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Just because people are starting to get vaccinated, that doesn't mean things are about to get back to normal. And that's not even taking into account all the new variants
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Ain't gonna lie to you, you've been lied to about lying this whole time. Here's how to spot a real liar
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Fark around and find out: Texas tourism edition
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Mexico's COVID death toll is 60% higher than the government reported
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| Sat March 27, 2021 |
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Trump adviser confesses most deaths were preventable. I demand to see Dr. Birx in stocks
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Babylon Bee graphic gets fact checked
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Alcohol, the cause AND solution to all the world's problems. Including those of the United States Postal Service
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The Sweet Sixteen begins in the NCAA Tournament. Will Loyola pound Oregon State to advance? Will Baylor be the victor against Villanova? Will ORU continue their run against Arkansas? How about Syracuse and Houston? It starts at 2:40 PM ET on CBS
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Biden is firing THE BEST PEOPLE
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If Oregon State has a Law school, they might want to head over there and have a professor explain the "Pentagon Papers case" and why a Judge is going to laugh himself sick before dismissing the lawsuit the U Filed against AP
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"There are no signs of foul play, but the death is considered suspicious." ORLY, Deputy Obvious?
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America's real border crisis isn't on the border, it's our government who has been using brute force on immigration for decades with failing results
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Sen. Marco Rubio lowers expectations, though, you already knew that
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Montana state legislature responds to idea of redesigning state flag by suggesting putting guns on it, says "Montana's pioneers, miners, soldiers, Native tribes, hunters, ranchers and more have been touched by 200 years of firearms diversity"
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