headlines found matching 'United States' NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Sat July 14, 2018 |
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MAGA hats that have been made in China will increase in price due to Trump's tariffs
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In addition to women's rights, rule of law, freedom of speech and freedom of religion, one more thing Justice Kavanaugh could oversee the end of: health care for anyone other than the 1%. So yep, the perfect Trump justice
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Tainted Venezuelan Crab Meat is not just the name of my Cocteau Twins / Justin Timberlake mashup cover band
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Okay, time to put together a map of all the indictments and guilty pleas Mueller has collected (so far) and see what it tells us
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Army responds to $32 billion wasted on failed development projects in the past twenty years by installing independent oversight at all levels and who are we kidding...instead they decided a re-org is obviously the answer
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Obviously it's the black guy's fault. Asinine, Stupid and Dumbass tags fight three-way battle for supremacy
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FDA approves first drug to treat smallpox, killer disease eradicated worldwide over 40 years ago. Or as they want you to believe, pilgrims
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Michigan farmers admit they never thought the leopards would eat their faces
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You are only perpetuating the stereotype that the lottery is a tax on stupid people if you threaten to kill people at the state lottery office because you lost once again
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Roger Perry dies... or gets transported onto the Starship Enterprise, one or the other
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Why hack the election systems when you can just buy the software?
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GOP now using Snickers defense to explain away sharing Nazi Tweets
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"President Trump must be willing to confront Putin from a position of strength ... If President Trump is not prepared to hold Putin accountable, the summit in Helsinki should not move forward"
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Some of the most dangerous jobs in the world include a welder, a lumberjack, a veterinarian, a roofer, and a moderator for the Fark Politics tab
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"So that's the wind forecast for today's race, but of course check for updates as needed as you sail. And be sure to look out for the B-52 dropping bombs at about 2pm"
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If you were having some illegal drugs shipped to you UPS and they haven't arrived yet, the Union Pacific RR Police have some news for you
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| Fri July 13, 2018 |
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No, you can't get unemployment comp if you challenged a supervisor to a fist fight. TFA: "(Our 'Welcome to Fark contestant') who acted as his own lawyer in the appeal..." And stopped reading there
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Senator John McCain rises from his death bed to join Democrats in demanding that Trump cancel his meeting with Putin
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The Daily Mirror defending The Sun, Fox News defending NBC, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria
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On this Friday the 13th let us enjoy a 12 topping Nothingburger with Russian dressing. Bigly protests in London for little, pretty vacate hands. God doesn't save the Queen from meeting a major moron. It's your MSNBC thread. See you at 8 p.m. ET
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Boris Johnson and Donald Trump are the two biggest examples of radical incompetents rising to political prominence and bad hair being socially acceptable
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John Bolton's moustache fires the last member of the National Security Council who actually specialized in National Security. Why? Because she made Stephen Miller cry
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Obviously we are in The Darkest Timeline. But, how did we get here? If you had a time machine and could prevent only one historical event from happening in the hopes of avoiding this timeline, what would you change?
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Strzok's testimony was a trap to make the GOP look bad
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After Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein announces indictments of 12 Russian officials, Congress prepares resolution signaling unity against this foreign thre.... Just kidding, Republicans are pushing to impeach Rosenstein
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Health officials release list of possible exposure sites after minor is confirmed to have measles. So if you're breaking out in a rash and were at any of these places at these times, you should be able to connect the dots
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FTA: "Are Trump's threats...just tactics intended to strengthen the Western alliance? Or does Trump actually want the alliance to die?" The second one. It's the second one
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Donald Trump tells Theresa May that US-UK relations remind him of his childhood education
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Now you can get free french fries every week for the rest of the year. Just get their app
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Good news everybody. The rich have decided that there isn't a poverty problem anymore
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House Republicans to force vote on abolishing ICE so that America can know just where our lawmakers stand on the issue
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Pack your bags, looks like we're going to Tehran
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And the big Trump baby is outside Parliament. As is that giant balloon
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Student rescued after climbing tree to escape wolves. No word if she was rescued by eagles, or how many dwarves were with her
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Iowa and Illinois are investigating infections linked to McDonald's salads. In other news, people go there to get their leafy greens
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Blockbusters now will just be Blockbuster
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Trump says he feels unwelcome in London. Sorry, snowflake
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Gravity still works, even if you can't speak English
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Trump: I'm a stable genius. World leaders: yeah, no, no you're not
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African dust,which forms as clouds from the Sahara desert that travel across the Atlantic Ocean, into the Caribbean, and up through the Gulf into Texas,essentially acts as a form of "kryptonite" against hurricanes. ♫I bless the winds down in Africa♫
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"Flyover country" will readily buy into socialism
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And here we have Republican Paul Begley claiming Peter Strzok is part of a "demonically controlled Illuminati secret society." Well okay then
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Trump says he's open to calling off joint military exercises against nation headed by corrupt dictator. This is not a repeat of last month
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| (HillReporter.com) |
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Some of the must-see moments from Peter Strzok's hearing today. Including Louie Gohmert going full Louie Gohmert, or as most people call it "being an unwavering douchecanoe"
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Chris Wallace promises a no holds barred interview with Putin on Monday. Subby predicts Putin won't even give him the courtesy of a reacharound
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Trump slams May's Brexit plan
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How much good would a woodchuck do, if it chewed some dick's truck good?
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| Thu July 12, 2018 |
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Unnamed MLS club in hunt for GIF Sundsvall attacking midfielder, is willing to send draft PCX in exchange
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I detect an air of defiance from the Scots
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Michael Cohen's new lawyer says Trump may have committed impeachable offense. Subby can't wait to hear Rudy Giuliani 911 comments on this which will, most likely and hopefully, make things worse
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Strzok's testimony almost leads to a committee fist fight, DOJ to AT&T: GFY, Stormy's free, and Manafort's mugshot is out. It feels like the storm clouds are breaking and yet we remain. This is your MSNBC discussion thread, bell rings at 8 PM EDT
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Apple employee accused of screwing with China by attempting to give them Apple's self-driving tech secrets
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The Russian government-controlled Internet Research Agency has created more than 50 "sleeper" sites that appear to be legit local news sites and are currently publishing 100% true local news stories and amassing thousands of regular readers
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Department of Justice to AT&T: "Maybe we were too hasty letting you buy Time-Warner"
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The White House releases a special coin commemorating Trump's attempt to destroy the North Atlantic Treaty Organization
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Lisa Page: Well shiat, if it's that easy to beat the shiat out of the Republicans on the House Judiciary committee, I'll gladly testify. Also, I'll do so this week
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Stable genius is theoretically getting NATO to pay up. Nothing funnier than Trump claiming he's sane
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Trump says that "of course" he will bring up the topic of election meddling when he meets with Putin, as in, "Thanks for that election meddling that got me elected, boss"
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Alabama will no longer allow its sheriffs to starve their prisoners in order to create surplus funds in the food budget that they can then pocket as a salary enhancement. Small steps
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Kim Jong is Lucy, Donald Trump is Charlie Brown, and the football is US Korean war dead
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Today in 1979, it was "Disco Demolition Night" at Comiskey Park. Boogie on down to watch the video
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We're (almost) number one....in oil production
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| (Some Guy) |
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The State of Georgia establishes the Mullet Doctrine
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Will the President live-tweet? Will the Republicans realize they made a terrible mistake? Will Peter admit on live TV the President should not go to Russia because he's compromised? THIS is your Peter Strzok Congressional Hearing thread (10AM EdT start)
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Trump: 'I think they like me a lot in the UK'. 'Unlikely' Tag doesn't even begin to cover this
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Trump declares victory over NATO
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| (Some Guy) |
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It's a no-brainer that racism and fascism go hand in hand because, how better to live your life as a member of a super-intelligent master race than to blindly follow the whims of one guy?
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Hurricane Don blows into Brussels, says if allies do not meet higher military spending targets immediately, the U.S. will pull out of NATO in 2019
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Like hell we do
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So how did Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, who earns $225,000/year and no significant assets, rack up over $200k in credit card debt? Well according to the White House, he's a REALLY big fan of the Nationals and bought LOTS of tickets
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Fox News viewers: How DARE Shep Smith tell us how President Trump is wrong about NATO. Wait, he's just telling us how NATO works and why it's important? THAT'S EVEN WORSE
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Having a bad day? Made a mistake at work? Well buck up, it could be worse. A whole lot worse, in fact. Come feel superior and celebrate some of the biggest product failures of all time. OF ALL TIME
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| Wed July 11, 2018 |
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A look inside Japan's super-secret big meanie murder jail, where they kill people with paltry excuses such as "They murdered 13 people in a subway with Sarin nerve gas" (possible nsfw content on page)
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We can live beside the ocean / Leave the fire behind / Swim out past the breakers / Watch the world die. This is your MSNBC Discussion thread for this most obscenely Wacky Wednesday. Bring something stronger than booze. It's gonna be a rough ride starting @8 PM ET
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Border protection says NYC Mayor De Blasio crossed the Mexican border illegally. New Yorkers say no backsies
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Urine, not chlorine, causes red eyes in pools
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Trump on his family separations at border policy: "Well, I have a solution. Tell people not to come to our country illegally." Like his wife did
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Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez wins a primary over a powerful democratic incumbent. No, this is not a repeat from two weeks ago, she won ANOTHER one, in a district she wasn't even running in, thanks to write-in votes
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The TSA is free to molest you and there's nothing you can do about it
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Plot holes? We don't have plot holes. I left out that entire character's motivation just because I like a nice cool draft when I sit down to write. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, willful ignorance edition
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Trump:"Many countries in NATO, which we are expected to defend, are not only short of their current commitment of 2% (which is low), but are also delinquent for many years in payments that have not been made." NATO: "Um yeah, about that"
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If you traumatically separate very young children from their parents for four months, apparently they sometimes forget things. Little things like how to use the toilet, how to speak, and what their mothers look like
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Merkel gives Farkian response to Trump charge that Germany is "captive" to Russia: "Actually, I know a lot about that, having grown up in a part of Germany that actually was captive to Russia, and seeing quite a few Russian captives in my time"
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So aside from being loyal allies, creating jobs for American workers, helping to guarantee global freedom and security, and coming to our aid after 9/11, what have those European freeloaders ever done for the U.S.?
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President Moran goes on a spit flecked tirade about Germany being a Russian puppet live, on camera in front of all the NATO allies. Strap in. This is going to be a long day
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If democratic socialism is so bad, why is Norway so great?
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Trudeau to Trump: Blow me
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This East Coaster visited Whataburger for the first time when traveling to Texas. Here is what it was like
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Republic's on fire, yo
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EA releases complete list of Madden 19 player rankings so you can justify spending another $60 this year
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Iowa county may lose its attorney, following allegations that he looks and acts like Frank Gallagher
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| Tue July 10, 2018 |
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Israeli probe to land on the Moon in February, take off, and land again. After that: Punching goyim idiots who say there are no stars in Jewish Moon photos because you can't let Buzz Aldrin have all the fun
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Correlation does not necessarily imply causation, but...
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NRCC will stop loudly supporting bigoted Republican House candidate Seth Grossman. Dog whistles not excluded
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PSA: A one hundred dollar bill should read "The United States of America" and not "for motion picture use only." Tag is for the clerks that took them
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It Looks like the Swiss aren't going to stay neutral in the Trade War
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Happy Independence Day, Michael Cohen
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We are through the looking glass. Alan Dershowitz unhinges his mouth from Trump long enough to criticize Trump Supreme Court Nominee
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EU President Tusk reminds Donald Trump that Europe is a better ally to U.S. than Russia will ever be. Sure, that may be. But does Europe have a pee tape?
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The last time Kavanaugh was nominated to a political judgeship, it took three years for his confirmation
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Tusk to Trump: If you don't EU meet, you can't have any Putin. How can you have any Putin if you don't EU meet?
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Israeli, Saudi, and UAE representatives privately pushed Trump to make a "grand bargain" in which Russia annexes Georgia, the Balkans, and Texas while the rest of us go to the gulag. The sad part is the punch line is plausible in this timeline
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NFL owners would prefer it if politics stayed out of their sport. Unless it's when they're voicing their support for the SCOTUS nomination
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'Miracle' baby saved after being buried alive for nine hours, is immediately given medical treatment and David Blaine's business card
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Modern and democratic and peaceful Europe was created by the U.S. post WWII, but our creepy President and his creepy base seem to know zero about this history so we are currently blowing it with President Dimwit
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Southwest Airlines to stop serving peanuts over allergy concerns. Complimentary engine parts delivered via explosion still on offer
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U.S. embassy warns Americans to keep a low profile and avoid large demonstrations in A) Iran, B) Iraq, or C) U.K?
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State Police crush ten plant grow op(erator) with bulldozer
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The Trump tariff tiff continues with Canada saying yes to mustard, no to ketchup - or catsup or whatever the hell you call it, eh
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Trump Administration: We'd like to unilaterally throw out the 20-year old Flores Settlement and just start keeping kids locked up for more than 20 days-you know, to keep families together. Federal Judge: How about "hell no"?
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In what certainly has NOTHING to do with the $30,000 per car price increase on their vehicles caused by retaliatory Chinese tariffs, Tesla announces plans to open a massive factory in China capable of cranking out 500,000 vehicles a year
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Man tied to tree. On the beach. And he is naaaaaaaaaaaked. The sun is there
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Moran says Republican lawmakers were not spineless when they met their Russian bosses on the 4th
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Fox News host cancels live show on SCOTUS steps over volatile protests, runs to safe studio after feeling 'threatened'
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Parents condemned for calling baby "abcde". What's the strangest baby name you've ever heard? (possible nsfw content on page)
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Here's how Kavanaugh and SCOTUS will gut Roe v. Wade. Hint: It's by being a lying, disingenuous prick
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San Francisco residents have divided into four castes: the Inner Party, the Outer Party, the Service Class, and the Untouchables
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Algal bloom overtakes one state's largest freshwater lake, and people are worried for their health, including one local man named Jordy Verrill
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Brett Kavanaugh proved why he doesn't belong on the Supreme Court thirty seconds into his masturbatory thanks-Trump speech
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Alan Dershowitz, the man who once defended a double-murderer in open court, writes an op-ed entitled "The Case Against Impeachment." The original draft was in crayon
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Canada eschewed the "liberal immigration doom loop," which is also the name of my Gordon Lightfoot cover band
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Convicted felon and food bucket peddler Jim Bakker not only believes in the Deep State, he believes there is an organized conspiracy by the Deep State to have him "destroyed"
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| Mon July 09, 2018 |
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25-foot-tall dancing pig statue erected in Fayetteville, Arkansas
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Meet Brett Kavanaugh, Trump's SCOTUS pick who worked on the Clinton impeachment, the Vince Foster suicide conspiracy, and the Bush/Gore decision
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Senator Ron Johnson (tR-aitor), after having spent America's Independence Day with an (admitted) adversary of the United States, says that Russian interference in the election is "totally overblown" and would like some kneepads and maybe some towels
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Trump lashes out and calls NY Times story fake. Then proceeds to confirm it
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Hey, sis - who should I nominate to the Supreme Court? Oh, that guy? Sounds good
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"You owe me one trillion dollars"
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Public Image Ltd back for 40th Anniversary tour. For you kids, that's Johnny Lydon's follow-up band to the Sex Pistols. They made numerous records and subby saw them on their first U.S. tour. They are a lot like Can, an even older band
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Devin Nunes hasn't spoken to anyone on the Intelligence Committee for months. But he's sure pretending like he has been
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Your paranoid alcoholic uncle warns US "on the cusp of losing the American constitutional republic forever". Excuse me, did I say your paranoid alcoholic uncle? I meant former CIA director John Brennan
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That moment when your former attorney is spotted moshing and playing air guitar at a Copstabber concert. (With pics)
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Having resolved all issues environmental, racial, and health oriented, Pennsylvania resolves to become more outstanding by naming Harley-Davidson the state motorcycle because nothing says PA like slashed workforces, labor strikes, and lower quality
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| (Some Guy) |
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Some people say, "If you're old enough to join the Army, you should be able to vote, as well". I feel exactly the opposite: If you're already putting your life on the line for your country, why add the stress of voting to your plate?
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Farmer who's suffering because of trade war plans to vote Democratic for first time. Trump supporters' heads begin to assplode
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'Good Samaritan' alerts Coast Guard to floating bale of cocaine off Florida beach
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The American economic system is now designed to keep workers desperate in favor of stockholders
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Joni Ernst tightens up the bread bag shoes and stands up for Trump's trade war, backstabbing her constituents as they'll suffer the worst of it
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What if Trump has been a Russian asset since 1987?
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Huh, and I thought he smelled like cheeseburgers and Cheeto dust
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What should the Girls Scouts stand for? Other than cookies, of course
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Today in what conservatives believe: OMFG
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Founder of the #WalkAway Campaign is making up more bullshiat
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| Sun July 08, 2018 |
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A 1-year-old Honduran boy was in court for his immigration hearing
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What the Democrats should do the moment Trump nominates a Supreme Court Justice for a vote. Too bad Democrats won't do it
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Tropical Storm Chris has formed off the Carolina coast - will cause high surf from the Carolinas to New Jersey, and then will make landfall in Nova Scotia and Newfoundland. Royal Canadian Moose Reserve to be activated on Tuesday
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U.S. declassifies hundreds of test videos. This one sounds nice - Operation Teapot
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You would think that being under investigation for producing ISIS propaganda would be a pretty good reason for denying a handgun permit
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Big Infant Formula has gotten to the Trump administration
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Happy Birthday, Paris: 2,000 years old today
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Arizona congressional candidate on how to pay for the Mexico border wall: A Powerball-style lottery. "I've sent the president an email and somehow I've never gotten a response back on this"
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Juice is not healthy for you. Especially OJ; that stuff could kill you without a second thought and claim that cranberry was the real killer
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Trump doing what he does best, stiffing federal contractors. In this case, health insurance companies
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Fox "News" starts beating the war drums
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Senator Richard Shelby (R-AL), who led GOP Senatorial delegation to Moscow, says there's no need for return of Cold War posture after invasion of Crimea, attacks on US troops in Syria, 2016 election cyber attacks
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At least 24 dead in Tultepec fireworks explosion. This is not a repeat from 2016, 2006, or 2005
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"A quiet policy change at the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services last month is the next step toward a nationwide purge of non-citizens"
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It's hot as hell and I need some chills. Tell me a ghost story and make it real
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| Sat July 07, 2018 |
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The the 1956 IBM SAGE was not only the largest computer ever built, it was also every sci-fi film computer. Behold its walls of blinky light glory
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Saturday Night MMA: UFC 226, with a superfight between light heavyweight champ Daniel Cormier and heavyweight champ Stipe Miocic. Also Francis N'Gannou vs Derrick Lewis. Fight Pass prelims at 7 PM ET, FS1 prelims at 8 PM ET, PPV at 10 PM ET
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Plastic straws are not only bad for the environment but for the body, with chemicals promoting bloating and cavities. Although they are still healthier than the sodas that people are drinking
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Meet Panshu Zhao. Member of the U.S. Army, doctoral candidate at Texas A&M University, lover of all things American. Oh wait, scratch that... make that former member of the U.S. Army for ... um ... reasons, we guess
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Rare video of Willie Nelson in 1962 without beard and ponytail singing "Hello Walls." Because why not?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Trump outsourcing production of American flags for 2020 campaign to China
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Step right up, Maryland, your college basketball program is the next recipient of FBI subpoenas
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According to Iran's estimates, Trump's Tweets increased oil prices by $10 a barrel
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You may want to reconsider that trip to the shore this weekend
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GOP asks the most important question of our times: when DID the Democrats stop beating their wives?
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Trump gave his personal number out to other world leaders, didn't tell his staff about it. Because of course he did
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Manafort's lawyers move for change of venue away from DC, suggest Moscow
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Paul Ryan's top aide wrestles with his conscience, turns against Jim Jordan
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Harvard study reveals the link between marriage and cancer
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| Fri July 06, 2018 |
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Chinese state media are calling the Trump administration a "gang of hoodlums", which is typical authoritarian hyperbole -- and also, um, exactly right
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Finally, proof that being ethical costs you money
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Government lawyers were unable to meet the deadline to reunify immigrants kids currently in cages because they felt it was more important to keep a buddy's dog out of a kennel
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Alex Jones doesn't know what a victory looks like
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Let's flash back to the start of the year, when the National Review tried desperately to sell Scott Pruitt as serious about running the EPA: "He's the last thing the Left expects to see in a Trump appointee: principled"
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Friday Night MMA: The Ultimate Fighter 27 Finale, headlined by Brad Tavares vs Israel Adesanya. Fight Pass prelims at 7 PM ET, Fox Sports 1 prelims at 8 PM ET, Fox Sports 1 main card at 10 PM ET
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While GOP congressmen were kowtowing to Putin on Independence Day, Senator Elizabeth Warren was visiting US troops in Iraq and Kuwait
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New study confirms what we already knew: US Workers are getting ripped off
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North Carolina Republicans charge Democrats are using underhanded tactics to steal an election for Supreme Court justice that the GOP -controlled legislature had already rigged in their favor, fair and square
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Russia imposes tariffs on US goods. Trump: "Hey, wait a second"
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Someone text me if this goes green, subby is on the way to the Amazon
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Chicken feet are "the Holy Grail of Trade" something US poultry producers would likely just throw away normally, but since they're considered a delicacy in China, they can sell them there for a nice profit. Well, COULD, anyway, until today
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White supremacist and indoor sunglasses-wearer Richard Spencer suddenly has a problem with European policy of keeping out undesirables
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Good thing Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay didn't listen to journalist and author Hunter S. Thompson about drafting Ryan Leaf over Peyton Manning
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Man tries to sell 6-year-old McDonald's food on eBay: "Original owner - never eaten"
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What do you get when you cross a Rottweiler and a Chihuahua wearing an Uncle Sam hat? Hopefully a greenlight, because the picture of this is adorable
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Indiana Republicans come together to demand a resignation from a grope-happy attorney general
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Maria Bartiromo's embarrassing interview with Donald Trump. Is there any other kind?
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God sends tornado to wildfire, because God is a dick
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Anne Frank's family tried in vain to flee to the US, likely discovered they all couldn't fit in her two-seater airplane
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The sentient bowtie controlling Tucker Carlson warns that Democrats are using immigration reform to stage a coup
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How Silicon Valley is like the Soviet Union
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Article on how to use a GIF as your tinder profile to the left. Your GIF suggestion to the right
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Fox News called Fourth of July protests during Obama years "patriotic" and encouraged them. Under Trump, said protests were called "Unamerican" and "Disgusting"
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Elaine's Top of the Muffin idea from Seinfeld is now a thing at McDonalds
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One, two, three, four - I declare a trade war
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| Thu July 05, 2018 |
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In the true spirit of academic excellence, Yahoo takes time out of their busy day to rank the Power 5 conference schools by.....athletic success
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Not unlike Dunkirk, automakers round up a ragtag flotilla to quickly import as many vehicles as possible before Trump drops the tariff banhammer
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My US Representative (FL) did something useful and helpful and provided a packet of hurricane resources. My old one sent us copies of the Constitution. What other than campaign fliers have you received from yours?
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Hey, look, it's the North Korea experts. Welcome to the party, guys
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Ambassador Jon Huntsman is still, apparently, one of the good guys
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47 years ago today noted progressive Nixon gave 18 year olds the right to sit out elections
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47 years ago today noted progressive Nixon gave 18 year olds the right to sit out elections
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Conditions at a south Texas detention center were so bad in 2015 that prisoners rioted and destroyed the place. Solution: Let's do it again with less prisoners
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Schumer has been urging Trump to nominate Merrick Garland for Kennedy's SCOTUS seat
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Why does Facebook hate America?
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| (Some Seventeen) |
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USA USA USA More like USD USD USD
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So long and thanks for all the dead fish
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Remember when the Rhode Island Democratic Party endorsed a pro-Trump former Republican over a sitting state Rep? Yeah, about that
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Um, honey? I'm heading out to the store for a few things and to get some gas. I'll take the kids with me so that you can rest and enjoy the game on TV. You need anything? Oh, yeah, one more thing - can I please have some more bullets?
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México implementa aranceles de represalia sobre los productos agrícolas de los Estados Unidos
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Texas is not a red state, it's a non-voting state
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The strangest foods you'll find at the state fair. Deep-fried Coke and Kool-Aid pickles are just the tip of the iceberg. What's your favorite fair food?
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Trump's trade war could affect Moog synthesizers, forcing them to lay off workers, move factory overseas. Cue sad keyboard sound effect
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As we enter the "screaming at clouds" phase of the Trump presidency, he tweets that immigrants should get off his lawn
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Blue lives matter, unless you pull your scrotum out at a bar party, then you just get fired
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This is the second year in a row Storm Trumpers have accused NPR of "taxpayer-funded partisan advocacy" for Tweeting and airing "liberal propaganda." Because once again, they read the Declaration of Independence
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Whoever picked Louisiana as the first state to start taxing internet sales after Wayfair step up and collect your prize (-5.2% sales tax)
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Check out Trump's new show, "Let's NOT Make a Deal" or maybe "Let's Fake a Deal"
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Bob's Big Boy restaurant mascot look-alike Kim Dotcom is likely to be extradited to the U.S
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And now we have U.S. Border Patrol stopping Canadian fishing vessels in Canadian waters looking for illegal immigrants
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| Wed July 04, 2018 |
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Well, this is certainly cool... JFK reading the Declaration of Independence. Do yourself a favor on this Independence Day and give it a listen
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Sure, threaten OPEC. That will surely end well
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Everyday in the park I wish it were the Fourth of July. It's your firecracker MSNBC 8 p.m. ET thread. What are you doing to celebrate the country's independence? Picnic in the park? Running for president like Michael Avenatti? Setting off M-80s?
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Trumpistan's snowflake ambassador to Canada whines that life in Ottawa "hasn't been easy," boycotts embassy July 4th party. Womp womp, eh
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Does the USA need a new national anthem? And if yes, what should it be?
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Oh, so that's where I left that. America's Declaration of Independence found in Chichester, U.K
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Not news: Woman wears the same shirt on the 4th of July for 20 years. Fark: It's the Panamanian flag
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So once again, we observed global all-time heat records this past week. If only there were something we could do to stop this. Oh well
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Funny story: Last summer, Trump really wanted to invade *spins wheel* Venezuela
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The best people
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There are only two things Donald Trump can't stand in this world: People determined to resolve trade issues, and the Dutch
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Oh, so *THAT* is what it takes to have your police credentials taken away in all 50 states Who would have guessed it?
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Lyft and Uber continue to battle for transportational dominance...now the battle has turned to bicycles
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Pruitt: Put me in, coach, put me in. That KKKeebler elf nobody doesn't know what he's good for
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What type? I meant to do that
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| Tue July 03, 2018 |
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China issues travel warning to citizens thinking of traveling to the U.S.
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United States government going after Lance Armstrong's former business manager for at least 1.2 million, possibly 1.65 million dollars. That takes a lotta ball
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Ohio Rep. Jim Jordan channeled his inner Joe Paterno. Scott Pruitt continues to Pruitt. In utterly shocking news the Senate Intelligence Committee confirms Putin wanted Trump to win. It's Fourth of July eve and it's your MSNBC thread. Fireworks at 8pm ET
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The 4th of July concert from the US Capitol will feature a Motown group, a Latina Broadway star, a Grammy winning gospel singer, and the Beach Boys. The White House 4th of July concert will feature a pianist named Lola Astanova
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If your woman was so drunk/high that she fell out of your SUV this morning, Tampa PD would like to speak with you (w/video)
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Amy Coney Barrett, a leading candidate to be Trump's new SCOTUS pick, belongs to a cultish religious group to which members pledge lifelong loyalty and where females report weekly to advisors known as "handmaidens." Yes, really
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Gives a whole new definition to weedline
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Today's Google doodle showcasing state "foods" only proves that you shouldn't always trust Google search count results for data blindly. For starters, the "Buckeye" chocolate candy is associated to Indiana
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Bare fists vs. metal baton Aaaaaannnnnd knockout
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Professor points out how Fox News profits off racism, so the sentient bowtie controlling Tucker Carlson immediately cuts off the interview
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Now that Trump has been able to get rid of all racial inequality in America it's time for him to get rid of Obama's affirmative action policies for good
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How truthful is Jeff Sessions being when he says that 80% of asylum claims are found to be without merit? Top five answers on the board. Show me: "Lying like a weasel" *ding*
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Customers are so unhappy with Harley Davidson shifting European market motorcycle production to Europe that they stopped buying American market bikes last year
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Conservative talking point: Obama gave citizenship to 2,500 Iranian terrorists as part of the Iran deal. He must be impeached NOW
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Mystery person buys $1M worth of remaining toys at Toys 'R' Us store to donate to kids. that very, very dusty store
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Go fark yourself, Anthony Kennedy
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Mike Pence's home state is making Ecstasy great again
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| Mon July 02, 2018 |
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Hello 911? Quack quack quack
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News: America's leading liberal magazine is publishing its pieces with a Russian propaganda outlet. Fark: Most of them oppose or are hostile against the Mueller investigation, and for some reason the spy poisoning scandal
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Neymar once again suffers a life-threatening injury and is cured after a minute by rolling around on the ground and crying
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There are a whole bunch of TrumpFürher's relatives in this neck of the woods. Since we're talking his ancestral village of Kallstadt, Germany: idontknowher.gif
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Former head of ICE proposes abolishing Trump instead of ICE
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Putin renames several Russian army regiments after the cities in Ukraine, Poland, Germany, and Romania that he expects them to capture in an upcoming WW3
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What symbolizes the best and worst of America, according to Americans? Oddly, poll does not appear to include Glittery Crying Eagles as an option
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Michael Cohen says Trump isn't his "first loyalty." Michael Avenatti now represents Stuttering John, because The Secret Service believes a Howard Stern sidekick is a threat. Happy Monday. It's your 8 p.m. ET MSNBC thread. Drink & sing. Music, deejay
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John Oliver will not be broken by the Trump administration and expects us all to resist and fight
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Americans aren't concerned with the upcoming Trump appointment to the Supreme Court because it's just one of 19 judges and they will all be replaced next election anyway
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Comey: NRA sells fear
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Trump's 'United States Fair and Reciprocal Tariff Act,' Brought to you by those lovable stinkers of the South Harmon Institute of Technology
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Trump's tariffs are slammed by the US Chamber of Commerce
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The biggest brawl you are likely to see in professional basketball just happened between Australia and The Philippines
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The same staff member who wrote all those racist newsletter articles
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Conservatives on Twitter duped by Russian bot farms again and it's only Monday
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Once again, Hobby Lobby to run July 4th full-page newspaper ad. Let's see if any of it is truthful and factual
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Governor of Kentucky cancels dental & vision for 500,000 Medicaid recipients after judge says "no" to work requirements
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You may want to check your pearls, Trump may have exaggerated just a little bit about MS-13. Narrator: ok he lied
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US factories report faster-than-expected growth in June, will need to get new pants
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Man arrested for plotting extreme overreaction to LeBron leaving Cleveland
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The UN's report on US poverty shows we're either facing a dystopian future or living in hell
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Senator Duckworth says that Americans hate good healthcare, good education, and taxing the wealthy
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Let's see what Texas governor Greg Abbott had to say last year about the mass murder of journalists. Turns out there are two sides to this issue
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GOP congressman Steve Knight has introduced a bill that would authorize $50 million for the construction of summer camps in California where immigrant families can be safely and lovingly cared for
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Russia has executed a near-perfect disinformation campaign
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John Bolton doesn't know what the f*ck he's talking about
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Bucking the worldwide trend, Mexico doesn't elect an idiot for president
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| Sun July 01, 2018 |
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Manchurian President Donald Trump wants to Finlandize the United States by giving Russia whatever it wants
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Head of the Virginia GOP secedes from his position
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♫♫ I'm a standing on the corner in Washington DC, got Putin on my mind. Voters wanna stone me, Russia just owns me, and CEOs say they're a friend of mine. But my critics need to take it easy, take it easy don't let my policy changes drive ya crazy ♫♫
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Your DNA says, "LALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU"
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Headline that can be reused since January 2017: Trump Went Rogue On The Truth This Week
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Iran just found a way to outwit Trump's sanctions
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Marijuana has now been legal in Oregon for three years and authorities are really having to stretch and distort some statistics to argue that it should be outlawed again
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This day in 1984 the "PG-13" rating is introduced by the Motion Picture Association of America. Trivia fact: Upon the suggestion of Steven Spielberg
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"I'm from South Dakota, and I come from a ranching family and we have fencing to keep cattle and horses in that's better than the fencing that we have on the border," whines Tomi Lahren
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Well it looks like there's still at least one honorable person serving in the Trump government . . . aaand he's gone
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Voters in Mexico head to the polls as they attempt to figure out who hasn't been murdered by gang members. But most importantly, they'll elect a president--who may thwart Trump's immigration ban. It's your Official Mexico Election Discussion Thread
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Business groups warn Donny that his trade wars WILL lead to massive layoffs in the US
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The horror of border separation as described by children who had to live it
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The Strong Tank Challenge is a simple competition. Eight nations blow stuff up for a week and in the end the Germans win
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Russian collusion scandal breaking. No, the other one
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Climate change is making things worse
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New York City is boring
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| Fri June 29, 2018 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Xanax got nothin' on the Hallmark Channel
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Obama says stop moping and start voting. Justice Kennedy stepping down may not quite be what it seems. Trump wants to change asylum rules. Ohio GOP want teachers to "out" transgender students to parents. FHF to you. It's your 8 p.m. ET MSNBC thread
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Federal Judge to the State of Kentucky: "Are you people smoking meth? Give these people their healthcare and stop being dicks"
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Trump: Wait? You're telling me there are 35,000 U.S. troops stationed in Germany? Is this a new thing? Must be a new thing, because I never heard of it before. So, how do we get 'em out of Germany for good?
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Uh...it tastes like ass?
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If they mean giving our enemies everything they want for nothing in return, I think we can all say Mission Accomplished, November 8, 2016
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Huckabee hopes his grandson doesn't grow up to be a Democrat, subby hopes he doesn't grow up to be dog killer
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So with Gen Kelly eyeing the exits, who is Trump thinking about as a replacement for what is arguably the second most powerful job in the United States? Why his former "pants-steamer", 28-year old former model Hope Hicks
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Acting ICE head melts
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Gillibrand on CNN: Gorsuch didn't get a vote from one Democrat
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Louisianians think they're sexier than most, survey finds. Well, they do earn the most beads at Mardi Gras
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Canada to U.S.: Don't make us angry. You wouldn't like us when we're angry. *snarls, tears off shirt, tosses grizzly bear*
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Heading into his summit with Putin, Trump has been relying on the advice from his advisors on foreign affairs less than ever because "he now thinks he's mastered" it
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Parasailing accident leaves woman drifting in the wind for 45 minutes. Fark: After she finally crashed, rescuers had to scare away an alligator to reach her
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Men in Iowa no longer have to wait 72 hours to ejaculate
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DINOs to support Trump SCOTUS pick
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The best 4th of July cocktail is the Kentucky Club Margarita; invented in Mexico, it celebrates what it truly means to be an American. What's your patriotic cocktail?
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Trump wants US to withdraw from WTO. Organizations on short list to withdraw from next include IMF, SAARS, WTF, BBQ, and the Boy Scouts
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When your crazy ex calls 911 and says "his intestines are out" well, your troubles are probably already over at that point
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Back in 2013 McConnell told democrats they would regret implementing "the nuclear option". Guess they should have listened
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Isn't it just common sense that we first determine if the President is a Russian asset before we allow him to pick a SCOTUS justice?
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Trump asked Macron to leave EU. America asks Trump to leave US
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"The negatives of body positivity": An essay by human anus Ben Shapiro
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If Trump were to go back to reality TV after his presidency is over, would you watch it?
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He hates big butts and he cannot lie, that Kardashian chick is why
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