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headlines found matching 'United Press International'
Sun July 15, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
The DHS Secretary apparently didn't get the "everything is okay here, just blame Obama" memo
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Oh, so NOW they care about the children. Yeah, riiiiiiiiiiiiiight
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 14, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
♫ Chim chimin-ee, Chim chimin-ee, Chim chim cher-oo, a six foot long NOPE slithered in through the flue ♫
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Quick, who has the number for ACME? I need to place an order, pronto"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 09, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
India introduces a Cobra Motorcycle which will make you run 0-60 in 5 seconds
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 08, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Happy Birthday, Paris: 2,000 years old today
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 07, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Animal rescuers in Britain becoming overwhelmed by drunken seagulls, unsure whether to blame the Scots, the Irish, or the Welsh
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Volcano: 671. Residents: 0
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 04, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
You remember that prediction back in April for an above-average 2018 Atlantic hurricane season? Yeah, about that
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 02, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Shark plays the pull my finger game with completely different results
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 29, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Animal rescuers free a squirrel that was stuck in dumpster drain. Drew gives them TotalFark for a year
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 28, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Hooker cited for DUI. I thought they were supposed to walk
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 23, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Chemists recover hidden images from 1800's daguerreotypes. Here comes the mercury
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
If you have yet to master three-point turns, perhaps car theft should not be your chosen career path
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 14, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Sandhill Cranes appear to dance in sync with Ed Sheeran song. More likely they were having seizures
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Face eating leopard seeks help for his injured face
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 10, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
The bad news: Aletta went from a tropical storm to a Category 4 hurricane in just 24 hours. The good news: It poses no threat to land. Whew
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Seriously...how hard is it to design a reliable air bag?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 09, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Okay, who invited the moose to the party? And Jeremy, quit trying to spike the punch...you know I can see you"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 07, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Loose pig causes drama on Dallas highway. Jerry Jones was safely returned to the Ranch
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 01, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
"We're gonna need a bigger boat"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 22, 2018
(CNBC)
 
 
 
I think this Scott Pruitt guy might not be on the up-and-up
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 18, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Walmart announced a partnership Wednesday with upscale fashion retailer Lord & Taylor.But it's only available on the website, so Jeeves won't be taking the Rolls to your local store anytime soon
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 16, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Knock. Knock. Who's there? Yes this is bear, let me in
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 15, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Move along folks nothing to see here. And by move along I mean get the hell out of the way of this idiot
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 13, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
If you ate at Chili's in March or April, you might want to check your credit report. Also, you really need to upgrade your dining out choices
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Croak like a butterfly, sue like a bee
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Old and busted: how many horses you have under your hood. New Hotness: how many rats you have under your hood
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 12, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Jogging + Juggling = Joggling
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Senior center is closed. The moose out front shoulda' told you"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Number one concern amongst younger Americans? Global warming. Now if there was only something they could do to get politicians interested as well. Like, I dunno, voting or something
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 09, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
"If you heard a young woman yelling in terror, don't be alarmed, it was just me panicking over this pile of snakes"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Somebody help me. Somebody come to my office and get the lizard please - I'm gonna cry, I have sandals on - I have sandals on"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 06, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
This is why you wait until AFTER the event to take a victory lap, Mr. President
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Putin's would-be presidential opponent was arrested during an anti-inauguration protest. In other news, one of Putin's enemies hasn't been gassed by his car, or fallen down an elevator shaft onto multiple bullets, or drank the glowing tea. Yet
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 05, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Our long national nightmare will continue for at least one more year
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 04, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
The penis mightier than the pen is
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 02, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Study found MDMA was an effective treatment for some PTSD patients, despite side effects that included anxiety, headache, fatigue, muscle tension, insomnia, and a mistaken belief they knew how to dance
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Oklahoma City police: "And for those asking no, our investigation did not reveal why the chicken crossed the road. We tried to interview the chicken, but she lawyered up"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 30, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Who goes first? Driver uses rock-paper-scissors game to settle friendly dispute in Houston's traffic
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 29, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Looks like World War 3 won't start along the India-China border after all
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 26, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
In Texas, everything's bigger. Except in Boerne, where underachievers' 0.5k race will be held where beers are served at start & finish, with coffee, doughnut station at halfway point
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 23, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
New wrist device may bring relief to people with hand tremors. Don't we already have that? They're called handcuffs
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 21, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Seriously, how come no one told me Disney was making a movie based on their horribly dated "Jungle Cruise" ride? How desperate do they think we are for entertain...wait, Dwayne Johnson is the star? Shut up and take my money
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 19, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Just a tip, but if you plan on robbing a Gamestop and wearing a mask to conceal your identity, you may want to choose one not made out of a clear white plastic
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
911: What's the nature of your emergency. Caller: Help, there's a possum in my bedroom
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 16, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
A nationwide search started Monday for a 56-year-old mother and grandmother, not because she is lost but because she accused of murder in two states
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 12, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
New study says you better not be sitting down for this
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Woman offers her 2003 Honda Accord for all of the remaining Necco stock. Well in fairness they both taste about the same
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 11, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Federal authorities in Atlanta said they seized 500 pounds of meth concealed inside wax Disney character figurines which may explain Donald Duck's anger issues
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 02, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone: Netflix is recruiting couch potatoes
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
A Sperm whale makes 'extremely rare' visit to inshore waters. Local seaman all came out to see him
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 28, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Study links aggressive brain tumors' growth to single gene. Gene challenges results, argues that his marital status has no relevance in the findings
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 24, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
South Korean government to shut down computers every day at 8pm to keep employees from overworking. American government workers look confused, ask themselves "what is this 'work' thing they were talking about?"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 23, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Crawfish smokes a cigarette while holding onto a beer. Yes, you read that right
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 22, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Gorillas in the Mist. New hotness: Opossums under the Hood
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 21, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
That's not a car horn. THIS is a car horn
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 20, 2018
(UPI)
 
 
 
Black holes found to belch after eating
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
You can warn about speed traps on Facebook, but don't call the officers involved smurfs. Crikey
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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