headlines found matching 'Twitter' NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Tue June 02, 2020 |
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If you thought Taco Bell was the future of dining out, I have some bad news for you
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In self protection after recent race riots, African American Museum flees to Canada
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How do you do, fellow Antifas?
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Trump has been violating Facebook and Twitter's TOS long enough. Besides, he's going to biatch and moan no matter what they do anyway
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FBI asks citizens to submit videos of people inciting violence in the protests, get exactly what they asked for
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LAPD chief walks back his statement suggesting that George Floyd's death is on looters' hands
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Zuckerbot cannot process inferior human concept. ERROR:ID 10T; ABORT, RETRY, FAIL?∎
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"Activision postpones new Call of Duty content so protestors can 'be seen and heard'". Because why watch the military in action in a video game when you can see the real thing on the news
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Agent provocateurs on my social media? It's more likely than you think
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U.S. police have attacked journalists more than 100 times in the past four days
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Former Reddit CEO: You gleefully helped build this monster, now fark off with your Black Lives (suddenly) Matter crocodile tears
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UK woman gets almost 200 cards for her 105th birthday, is now terrified of 106
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After announcing a July reopening, Disney World cancels dining reservations and stops taking new hotel bookings. Magic? More like fickle
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Dick's limper than expected. What, you were expecting deep, hard-hitting journalism?
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Would it surprise anyone to know that the rioters were encouraged by a Unite the Right group and not antifa?
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Acting CBP director Mark Morgan Tweets that he has assembled his Sturmabteilung in DC and stands ready to crush those "groups of radicals & agitators," who dare abuse their first amendment "rights" to criticize Führer Trump
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Matt Gaetz is the second politician to earn the Twitter Violence Glorifying Badge after suggesting "antifa" should be hunted down. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy
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Police scanner apps are really popular right now for some reason
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| Fri May 29, 2020 |
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Katanas are cool. The only way you could make them cooler is if they shot fire
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President Plague and his cronies have forced a website to remove a cartoon truthfully ridiculing the president. Looks like that executive order against twitter might have some merit and screw the first amendment
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Playing for the Chargers adequately prepared Melvin Gordon for playing games in front of empty stadiums
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"I will not be censored" - @RealDonaldTrump
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Baptists, bootleggers, censors, and omniphobes
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Trump ignored multiple warnings about Covid19 for months but declared war on Twitter in less then a day after only 1 Tweet was flagged
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White House press conference on reopening the pandemic. 5pm ET
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"If platforms were not immune under the law, then they would not risk the legal liability that could come with hosting Trump's lies, defamation and threats." ∴Twitter hides all of his tweets, banhammer immediately after Biden takes the oath of office
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This is what I meant by looting leads to shooting. I love Twitter, please don't ban me because of the haters correctly interpreting my first tweet
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They don't seem to realize that using this angle of attack means Twitter has cause to ban him due to legal liability
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SC Freiburg look to stay in contention for a European spot while Bayer Leverkusen are looking to crack the top 3. Kickoff is at 2:30 pm. Fox Sports has the stream. It's Friday night in the Bundesliga, and this is your discussion thread
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Hey Taylor Swift you can relax and eat that whopper now. Turns out Burger King likes that one song you do .... you know, the one about your ex
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Will Twitter be deleted? Will he beg the mods for mercy? Surprise Trump presser live from the Rose Garden at 2pm
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Set it up now: Jon Jones vs. Dana White for control of the UFC
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Whilst making deep fried hash browns and taking shots and I ponder: What happens if you pour vodka into a hot deep fryer? Geek tab because I'm curious as to what the chemical reaction would be without burning down my house
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Fox News: "Well sure, Trump 'may' have promoted violence against the rioters, BUT DID YOU SEE WHAT TWITTER DID?"
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Biden's "you ain't Black" gaffe opened the door for the Trump campaign to make in-roads with African-American voters. Trump's "Twitter thumbs" last night slammed that door back shut
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Biden says Trump's legacy will be that of a failed president, responsible for mass death and economic ruin
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George Conway must really enjoy that couch, throwing shade at his succubus wife and her boss in one fell swoop
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Twitter is finally doing it. Low bar for the Hero tag but, that's where we are
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At this point, the GOP wants to subpoena virtually everyone in the Obama administration
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| Thu May 28, 2020 |
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Liar who lied when she promised never to lie, in defending lies told by the liar she works for lies and says he never "intends" to lie
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Mark Zuckerberg--dead at 36--says social media sites should not fact check posts
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Germany: Twitter is welcome here if Trump kicks you guys out of the US
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Uber not feeling too spritely after sending 1000s of e-bikes to be scrapped in lemon of Lime deal
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Thousands of NJ businesses prepared to go rouge if they are not allowed to open by June 1, except for Frenchtown where businesses will go moulin rouge
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WFH isn't too bad. Until you want a promotion. Or have to put on underwear. Or bathe
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Twitter's head of site integrity also refers to Kellyanne Conway as Kellyanne of Green Goebbels
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Real-life Karens say they are not racists and would like to talk to the manager of the person who created that meme, just as soon as they are done getting their hair cut
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Wanda Sykes and Scott Baio at war over Joe Biden's 'ain't black' remarks in the craziest 2020 on all calendars in the history of humankind
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WH demands to know names of Twitter fact checkers
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Federal Election Commission chairman provides epic 60 tweet thread regarding President Trump's claims of mail in voting fraud. TL; DR: he's "dead wrong"
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Obvious: "Trump continues to claim broad powers he doesn't have". Existential: but if The AG is in his pocket, half of Congress is in his thrall, and the Supreme Court refuses to stand up to him, can you really say he DOESN'T have them?
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Twitter CEO to Trump: We will keep pointing out your factual inaccuracies
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Trump has hidden his crime so well he even fools Snopes
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"The White House Office of Digital Strategy" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Trump will kick thousands of Chinese students out of the country because he thinks they're spies
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Brave Sir Zuckerberg ran away. Bravely ran away away. When danger reared it's ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled. Yes, brave Sir Zuckerberg turned about and gallantly he chickened out
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I know this is going to be shocking for a lot of people but new video shows that the police who murdered George Floyd lied, he didn't resist at all
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The verdict is in...and God did NOT violate Twitter's TOS for alleging Trump murdered his personal assistant in 2000
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Six packs of wolves tracked over a four month period. Personally, I prefer my wolves in bottles
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Maybe if I just yell about Biden being racist and Twitter being mean, I'll finally skyrocket in the polls. This is what a desperate man looks like
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Laura Loomer's "censorship" claims against Apple, Google, Facebook, and Twitter "do not warrant a published opinion." Oh, SNAP
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| Wed May 27, 2020 |
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Hahahahaha, Duuuuude, Yeeessss
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For some completely unknown and mysterious reason, Republicans working on legislation to strip Twitter of federal liability protections. Hmmmm, wonder why
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NY Post editorial board to Donald: "There's something worse than being hated. It's being ignored." The NY Post being the prestigious and dignified publication that it is, subby guarantees that will definitely not happen with the NY Post
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Tokyo Tower main deck reopens, and you only have to climb up 150 meters to reach it. That's 600 steps, but they're metric. Get a "1 DAY PASS" which will allow you to access to the Main Deck as many times as you wish during one day
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Twitter's head of site integrity is being trolled on Twitter
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House Republicans to sue House Speaker Nancy Pelosi in an effort to block chamber's new proxy voting system amid the coronavirus pandemic, also Democrats owning them
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Man, when even the Washington Examiner is telling you to put the Twitter down, you really did f*ck up, Donnie
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It appears Twitter has found someone to hang out to dry for fact checking Twitler
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Don Lemon destroys Twitter for hiding behind profit and the First Amendment and fact-checking Trump instead of banning him
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How desperate and bored and confused were we during lockdown? Papa John's had record North American sales
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Trump is going to use Twitter to take down Twitter from Twitter on Twitter
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Break up Facebook
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Maybe if they brought their AR-15s to the protests they wouldn't get tear-gassed
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US Constitution, 1st Amendment: "Congress shall make no law .. abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press." That includes Twitter you twit
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In the "Yes, there is a God" category, Josh Trank, director of the 2015's Fantastic Four movie, says he has no interest creating a "Trank Cut" of the film
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Bill Barr drops investigation into Kelly Loeffler's apparent insider trading. Fellow GOP senator Richard Burr, however, will still be in the hot seat, likely because he had the audacity to conclude that Russia meddled in the 2016 election
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Twitter: We appreciate the pain that these public lies are causing your family, but we want to make money so you can go fark yourself
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| Thu May 21, 2020 |
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TV's Daytime Emmys return with an evil twin
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The Cleveland Indians reveal they hid inimitable face of Nic Cage in 39 lineup-graphic tweets last season, and nobody noticed
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If you want to see oral sex on Amazon Prime don't watch movies distributed by Samuel L Goldwyn
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A social media app with 1,500 users and no public website is already valued at $100 million. Bubble? What bubble?
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Half of all Twitter accounts Tweeting about the coronavirus are bots. The other half are Russian trolls
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Drew's time travel tale was picked up by Tech Times, and while they do say he was joking, they also sort of seem to think, "You know, this guy just might be legit"
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Hey guys, wouldn't it be so much fun if we honored our graduating senior class by having a printer make a photo collage of the school logo, using the kids' faces as pixels? Looks like we have just enough minorities to shade in the black lines
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New for singles: Updating your dating profile with your virus antibody status
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Weasels ripped my phone system
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Elon Musk's dangerously slavish cult is finally breaking
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Our long, national nightmare is over as the early "The Simpsons" episodes will be available to watch in the original 4:3 aspect ratio on Disney+ next week
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| Sun May 10, 2020 |
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The Mad Tweeter goes for the record, but falls short
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I roll to disbelieve in the existence of an official My Little Pony/Dungeons and Dragons crossover product. *natural 1* Well crap, I roll to submit it to Fark for greenlighting
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Michael Jordan abruptly retires from basketball, takes up baseball, unretires, comes back, and tells all his teammates they suck. The Last Dance, 9 PM ET, ESPN/ESPN2
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| (Some Guy) |
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Hush, y'all; Subby didn't wait this time. New threat in the "A Secret Kept from all the Rest" season finale of BATWOMAN at 8PM EDT, then siblings set aside differences and Kara takes on Leviathan on "The Missing Link" on SUPERGIRL at 9PM, both on The CW
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Dallas' iconic Lizard Lounge closes forever due to COVID-19. Leisure Suit Larry inconsolable
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Tonight is Money in the Bank from beautiful....Titan Towers? That's right as both the Men's & Women's matches will have to Die Hard (or is it Mayhem) their way to the roof to get the MiTB briefcase. It all starts at 7 PM ET on the WWE Network
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#ObamaGate is trending on Twitter, and the truth is finally making it to We the People
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Dolly Parton has great tweets
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| Thu May 07, 2020 |
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If you're going fishing, you should take along a fishing pole. Not four handguns, ammunition, and a suppressor
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Monkey breaks into ATM in Delhi and trashes it. Probably because they refused to serve him pastrami on rye
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Wacky Japanese food, video games, and an excessive amount of pop culture are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, April 19-25: Martha Stewart Edition
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Trump's Twitter rant against Lincoln Project's 'Mourning in America' ad kinda proves their point
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Great news for everyone depressed by the pandemic: Cleveland Browns single-game tickets go on sale today
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So, the US Treasury Secretary is getting into Twitter fights with Axl Rose and this timeline is officially the Twilight Zone
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Inspired by Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield now wants to return to the ring. No word on if Mike Tyson would ear-itate him again
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OK Farkers, time to show off
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FDA and FTC send warning to QAnon conspiracy site for pushing insane Coronavirus conspiracy theories
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| Tue May 05, 2020 |
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Dog saves lives of two goldfish. Pepperidge Farm will never forget this
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If you thought Moon Unit, Dweezil, Zowie, and America are strange names for famous people's kids, you haven't seen Elon Musk's new kids name
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Bath and North East Somerset Council aren't doing phrasing anymore
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John Ratcliffe, Trump's pick to head US Intelligence, is a major QAnon conspiracy theorist and True Believer
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While Outback Steaks' is looking a bit burnt, you can expect a blooming of re-openings today
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These armed protesters demanding the economy reopen are going too far, says noted liberal commentator Sean Hannity
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Elon Musk has reproduced. I repeat, Elon Musk has reproduced
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Thirty of the best Dad Jokes™ you've ever heard
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Endgame's War Machine mystery has been solved by the writers who sort of left that plot point dangling
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We all deserve a few minutes of Dwayne The Rock Johnson
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