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headlines found matching 'Turn'

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Tue March 28, 2023
		"I've been living the dream, successful at work and having guilt-free sex with my boss's married daughter. But she's pregnant and there's a chance the baby could be mine. How will this turn out for me?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	18
		Teá Leoni plots acting return, hopes to reboot forgotten late 90s sitcom Fired Up source: deadline.com \| share:	64

Mon March 27, 2023
		Did you know New Jersey has its very own volcano? Surprisingly it's not located off the Turnpike with everything else that can kill you source: 943thepoint.com \| share:	3
		Showing expert negotiation skills, Lamar Jackson's agent tweeted Jackson requested a trade and will not be returning to Baltimore. Fark: Which went viral during a news conference where Harbaugh was talking about building their team around Jackson source: nfl.com \| share:	96
		The Merriam-Webster word of the day for March 27 is disparate, as in, Disparate is driving me crazy by repeating everything I say source: merriam-webster.com \| share:	12
		The millennials are turning 40 and let's make fun of how they're screwing the travel industry up. No wait, those are really good ideas source: cnbc.com \| share:	54
		Gandhi said the confrontation started as a hand-to-hand incident and turned into a shootout. That's Sikh bro source: kron4.com \| share:	20

Sun March 26, 2023
		My Maserati does 185. Turns out it's stolen, now I don't drive source: abc11.com \| share:	69

Sat March 25, 2023
		Turns out that "live free and die" is an even better slogan for America than anybody ever thought. Especially the "die" part source: npr.org \| share:	127
		New York Post and the Murdoch family turns on Trump source: mediaite.com \| share:	77
		Mexican restaurant can't win in UK's economic crisis. First they get hit with a £4000 utility bill. Then they turn off the freezers and the customers start reporting food poisoning and the council starts handing out bad hygiene ratings source: getsurrey.co.uk \| share:	32

Fri March 24, 2023
(Meduza)		Day 394 of WW3. Russian charity facilitates the return of 17 Ukrainian children stolen from Ukraine. Welcome to your Friday Russo-Ukraine War thread source: meduza.io \| share:	518

Wed March 22, 2023
		Will Toni Storm make things cloudy for Skye Blue? Can a returning Stu Grayson get revenge on Mox? How does the Omega Man deal with the Son of a Viking? Does Stokely have a prayer vs HOOK? Find out on AEW Dynamite at 8 PM ET on TBS, the SuperStation source: allelitewrestling.com \| share:	76
		If things weren't bad enough in Australia, they are now being invaded by Minions source: upi.com \| share:	13
		Turns out the City of New York stepped up security in response to Trump issuing threats, not because they know an indictment is coming source: twitter.com \| share:	78

Tue March 21, 2023
		It has all come to this. Will Trout, Turner, Goldy and the rest lead Team USA to back-to-back titles or will it be Sho-Time as Samurai Japan takes home its third crown? The 2023 World Baseball Classic Championship Game is LIVE on FS1 at 7 pm ET source: mlb.com \| share:	214
		Why there was an overturned car in the house to begin with is beyond the scope of this headline source: krdo.com \| share:	20
		Pro-Trump protest organizer claims the low turnout was 'by design'. Tells his wife the same thing about his ED probably source: politico.com \| share:	77
		Turn out the lights, the party's over source: sciencealert.com \| share:	12

Sun March 19, 2023
		It's time to turn on, tune in, and drop out with the Sunday Morning Music Club as we go on a musical search for all the pretty flowers, man, like far out trying to commune with the greatest psychedelic songs of all time source: ultimateclassicrock.com \| share:	255
		FBI snatched her life savings and still hasn't returned it. BASTARDS source: foxnews.com \| share:	291
		Too medium to fail? source: cnbc.com \| share:	107
		Smart light advice. Want lights that 1. can be turned off with physical switch, no app needed, 2. can also be controlled from a script I write, 3. do not need proprietary hub, 4. do not phone home (or at least work when firewalled), 5. have variety source: fark.com \| share:	31

Sat March 18, 2023
		Brexit Britain last month: Yes, we have no tomatoes, but we can all eat these lovely turnips. Brexit Britain this month: Yes, we have no turnips source: theguardian.com \| share:	95
		Turns out there's more than water at the bottom of the ocean source: phys.org \| share:	27
		It's IMSA's turn to Respect the Bumps in the 71st running of the 12 Hours of Sebring. Cadillac leads the field to the green flag at 10:10 AM ET (1st half of the race on Peacock only, 2nd half on USA and Peacock) source: racer.com \| share:	81

Fri March 17, 2023
		"I'm a Captain of a police department... turn your camera off" works better when you're the cop in charge and not the drunk driver source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	33
		It feels like the return of FHF is upon us at this, the Saint Patrick's Day 7 p.m. ET MSNBC thread source: msnbc.com \| share:	158
		All the rain and snow in California has turned their reservoir situation from dire to plentiful source: yahoo.com \| share:	54
		You might want to sit down for this, but it turns out that most people opposed to abortion don't know much about medicine, doctors, women's bodies, fetuses, birthing, pregnancy, or pretty much anything else factual even remotely related to the issue source: slate.com \| share:	109
		Ten normal movies that turn into horror flicks halfway through their runtime. (spoilers) Oh great, now I'll never get to enjoy From Dusk Till Dawn source: movieweb.com \| share:	92
		Carrying 111% of your bank deposits as liabilities on your balance sheet turns out not to be a winning strategy, kind of like deregulating banks after 2008 source: cnn.com \| share:	48
		Florida Man working inside cement mixer when it is turned on, with mixed results source: cbs12.com \| share:	59

Thu March 16, 2023
		The city of Woonsocket, RI is being sued for turning the Blackstone River brown source: wpri.com \| share:	29
		The nightmare of Kay "cooking" Fried Rice returns to haunt Uncle Roger again source: youtube.com \| share:	16
		As the start of the Iraq War turns 20, Senate to finally hold a key vote on repealing the Iraq war authorizations source: cbsnews.com \| share:	92
		Day 386 of Putin's three day special operation. Wagner wants to turn it into a horny war by advertising on Porn Hub for fresh ruscist meat. It's your daily Ukraine war discussion source: kyivpost.com \| share:	578

Wed March 15, 2023
		Forget Cordyceps. It could be your own pet that ends up turning you into a zombie. NO, RUFUS. BAD DOG, STOP LICKING source: npr.org \| share:	21
(Some Guy)		After being kicked out for partying too much, Daniel Brieres son Carson makes his triumphant return to college hockey by tossing a disabled students wheelchair down a flight of stairs while she was in the bathroom source: crossingbroad.com \| share:	54

Tue March 14, 2023
		Tonight on NXT: Johnny Wrestling explains his shock return to NXT, Gallus defends the tag titles vs YAS BOIS, Apollo faces Yabba Dabba Kato, who will take up Wes Lee's open challenge & what's up with Chase U? Javi? All this and more at 8 PM ET on USA source: wwe.com \| share:	90
(Some Guy)		SVB indicates real change in Silicon Valley culture. In the old days, VCs, investors, and founders helped one another and would not foolishly start bank runs when a bank was still viable and tech was in cyclical downturn; now it's every man for himself source: stratechery.com \| share:	19
		Use of AI in treatment plans turning Medicare Advantage plans into Medicare Disadvantage plans source: statnews.com \| share:	17
		Day 384 of WW3. Russians stage more than 100 attacks, along a 257 km front, resulting in nothing but sunflowers. Another busy day turning Russians into casualties on the Eastern Front of your Tuesday Russo-Ukraine War thread source: kyivindependent.com \| share:	666
		TFG responds to Mike Pence: He's a nice man; I've known him; I had a very good relationship until the end, and if he had just overturned the election, my supporters wouldn't have tried to kill him, so really, it's all his fault source: thehill.com \| share:	64
		For the CEO that turned around the fortunes of the world's largest convenience store chain, the clock just struck 11 source: cnn.com \| share:	39

Mon March 13, 2023
		I'm not saying the economy is ready to collapse, but Forbes has already turned to stealing retirement grease to get by source: deadline.com \| share:	29
(Some Guy)		Former city council member, removed for prior felony drug convictions, currently on probation for a separate charge, arrested for DUI. He would have turned in his driver's license to the judge, but he forgot to bring it to court. Yes he's running again source: newsitem.com \| share:	8
		Nightmare in Mozambique: Freddy Returns source: phys.org \| share:	20
		Agent 99 turns Agent 90 source: en.wikipedia.org \| share:	26
		Family trying to raise $2.5 million to save their toddler from a rare neurological disease that turns him into a "human time bomb." Hopefully they'll be able to keep him over 50 mph source: cnn.com \| share:	78
		If you've been wondering who will rid us of the scourge of right wing radio, turns out it might be Ford Motor Co source: arstechnica.com \| share:	21
		Woman who lost her race for MI Secretary of State by 14 points but refused to concede, has now been elected chair of the MI GOP and has proudly proclaimed the party has turned "ultra conservative and swung hard to the right." This should be FUN source: alternet.org \| share:	49

Sun March 12, 2023
		The Boss is out sick again. If he calls in once more, he can't return without a note from the doctor source: nj.com \| share:	11
		Turns out the new Tesla Semis, just like their car-cousins, have a little trouble with the cold source: twitter.com \| share:	146
		As Colorado continues to turn bluer, the state GOP elects a moderate new party chair that vows to reach out to...and who are we kidding, they chose another combative election-denying proto-fascist, of course source: apnews.com \| share:	102
		Light up that $100 bill. Aramco reports record profits on news that they can turn any crisis into barrel of cash source: bbc.com \| share:	11
		Cancer cells turning rat. They're gonna end up getting stitches source: med.stanford.edu \| share:	5

Sat March 11, 2023
		Live coverage of Crew-5 return to Earth and splashdown. Stream is already in progress and splashdown is estimated to be 9:02 PM EST source: youtube.com \| share:	15
		It turns out reality really does have a liberal bias source: arstechnica.com \| share:	57

Fri March 10, 2023
		Michael Shannon on returning as General Zod: "I think I died in Man of Steel" source: gizmodo.com \| share:	50
(Some Guy)		Oh, you're a modder who made a handheld Sega Saturn? Cool, that's cool... so what'cha name it? source: retrododo.com \| share:	24
		Chicago man claims the Nazi flags in his windows are there to call attention to his missing fiancée. Neighbors suggest he could always turn himself in source: abc7chicago.com \| share:	47
		Federal Judge once again orders Navarro to turn over White House emails. He'll get right on that source: thehill.com \| share:	33
		'Stranger Things' star is turning down roles because she's tired of getting Weinsteined source: variety.com \| share:	67
		81 year old former NASA employee survived unscathed for a week after his car was stuck in a snowbank, thanks to skills he learned while watching Survivor. That, and dining on croissants and Biscotti, and drinking melted snow. MMMM Biscotti source: bbc.com \| share:	24

Thu March 09, 2023
		Season 20 of Top Chef Returns with International All-Stars. Chef's Kiss source: ew.com \| share:	11
		Mexican drug cartel PR department apologizes for overzealous staffers who killed two Americans last week; says they turned them over to the police. Also, Mexican drug cartels have a PR department source: wfaa.com \| share:	121
		Joe Garrelli is returning to the mothership. Wait, his last name is Garrelli? source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	49

Wed March 08, 2023
		Fark-ready headline of the day: NASA fixes satellite by turning it off and back on again source: theregister.com \| share:	9
		So, it turns out that whole "Russia Hoaxigateghazi" thing was actually real and U.S. Intelligence warns Putin plans to do the same thing for 2024 source: cnbc.com \| share:	149
		America's best talk show returns in June source: variety.com \| share:	37
		Steve-O joins around 8 billion other people who have never been turned on sexually by Metallica source: metalinjection.net \| share:	18
		Business insider turned automotive writer discovers what everyone else knew about the Tesla Cybertruck's windshield wiper all along. With bonus reminder about how hard it is to clean a windshield source: finance.yahoo.com \| share:	63

Tue March 07, 2023
		Justin didn't Turner his face away from the pitch fast enough source: cbssports.com \| share:	7
		Man offers reward for safe return of son's 10-foot long 100-pound museum-quality model boat source: kptv.com \| share:	39
		Get ready for the right-wing nutjobs to go berserk: It turns out Keanu Reeves actually did take the red pill source: cnn.com \| share:	36
		After failed takedown by vengeful lawyer fan, Soviet city building game has glorious return to Steam source: kotaku.com \| share:	21
		Day 377 of WW3. Wagner rep "knocking on all doors" for weapons. Russian military turning off lights and hiding behind the couch. Welcome to your Tuesday Ukraine thread source: independent.co.uk \| share:	639
		GOP Zookeepers: "It turns out that once you let the toothpaste out of the tube, demagoguery and bigotry and all that, some people like it. It's hard to get it back. We never imagined losing control of those animals and now they've eaten most of us" source: politico.com \| share:	103

Mon March 06, 2023
		South Carolina arrests woman suspected of having an abortion - in 2021, before Roe was overturned source: theguardian.com \| share:	93
		It turns out that university professors can continue to teach using Native American remains as long as they're famous enough. The professors, not the remains source: nbcnews.com \| share:	25

Sun March 05, 2023
		The penultimate episode of season one is here, and Ellie returns from reminiscing to tend to Joel's wounds. Another group of survivors is encountered, though they may not be as genial as they seem. The Last of Us, 9PM ET on HBO source: cbr.com \| share:	56
		Tonight, AEW Revolution comes to S.F.: Can Bryan Danielson outlast MJF for the BBB? Will the Elite turn back the House of Black? Mox or Hangman? Will Hayter keep her title vs Saraya vs Ruby Soho? FTR? It all starts at 8 PM ET on PPV (B/R Live, DAZN) source: allelitewrestling.com \| share:	156
		Turns out there's a pretty good reason other car companies don't make their vehicles out of stainless steel source: jalopnik.com \| share:	74
		Its the start of the 2023 Indycar Season. Andretti sweeps the front row with Grosjean having the pole and Herta alongside. Forecast is cloudy with a slight chance of showers. This is your Indycar Grand Prix of St. Petersburg at Noon ET on NBC source: indycar.com \| share:	169

Sat March 04, 2023
		Article on why AI image generators tend to turn human hands into something that looks like out of a David Cronenberg movie source: petapixel.com \| share:	18
		Noise Factor returns with an original show at 10:30PM ET. Kylesa, SkullDozer, Faetooth, Melvins, Beware of Gods, and a brand new one from Dozer. Also, Kerry'd Away is back after a 10 week hiatus, her show goes at 9PM ET so tune in early source: bigeradio.com \| share:	8
		140-year-old schoolhouse-turned-home for sale. Ready for a life of Amish neighbors? source: zillow.com \| share:	161
		"It's a dwindling town. We've lost a lot of businesses. We have an aging population. We have a lot of unfunded patients." Well maybe you shouldn't have turned down that Medicaid expansion money, then source: texastribune.org \| share:	49
		Credit union loses ATM to thieves. Thieves lose ATM to their own poor planning. Cops lose thieves to state law. Oddly enough, no cash was lost source: kiro7.com \| share:	20

Fri March 03, 2023
		Matthew McConaughey's wife was on a plane that fell 4,000ft in seconds after a lightning strike. She was scared but everything turned out alright, alright, alright source: nypost.com \| share:	21
		The most popular Jets quarterback announces he'd love to return in 2023 and tease the fans some more by playing marginally better than the other Jets quarterbacks source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com \| share:	8
		The return of The Return of the King source: yahoo.com \| share:	50
		The greatest film adaptation of Moby Dick is about to be turned into The Pirates of Penzance source: gizmodo.com \| share:	29
		Hobbyist turns BMW shifter into bluetooth controller to change modes in Vim. Emacs version to be released as soon as they get the bluetooth working on a 747 flight console source: github.com \| share:	33
		Yakuza boss's attempt at earning points and saving money on his grocery shopping ends when check of his 2020 loyalty card application discovers he's a yakuza, so cops arrest him for fraud. Whoever turned him in deserves some rewards points source: soranews24.com \| share:	11

Thu March 02, 2023
		Jerry Seinfeld and wife celebrate their son turning 20. What's the 'deal' with 20? It's one more than 19. But it isn't....21. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? Thank you, thank you, what else we got source: people.com \| share:	15
		Jeff Bridges looks back on the 'The Big Lebowski,' which turns 25 next week and really tied the '90s together source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	30
		Seal pup returned to water after trying to cross busy New Jersey road, didn't even get a chance to go clubbing source: upi.com \| share:	7
		You know how Jim Cramer is always wrong? Now it's easy to turn that insight into cold, hard cash source: twitter.com \| share:	36
		Infamous thin-skinned Libertarian turns attention away from the dying bird, lays out his grand master plan and calls for trillions in free government spending to further his plans for world domination source: investors.com \| share:	32

Wed March 01, 2023
		99.9% crash free is absolutely Horrible for a self driving car. Turns out, despite how the morning commute feels, humans are very safe drivers, and AI has a lot to learn from us source: jalopnik.com \| share:	86
		With The Mandalorian returning, it's time to remember the one thing that can break Din Djarin's composure source: twitter.com \| share:	17
		Mr. Bill turns 50, so let's all celebrate a beloved pop-culture ic-OH NOOOOOOOOOO source: twitter.com \| share:	15

Tue February 28, 2023
		Joaquin Castro (D - iagnosis positive): "My prognosis is good. I expect to be home recovering in Texas for several weeks before returning to Washington to continue my work for the people of my hometown, San Antonio" source: huffpost.com \| share:	16
		AP wonders if SCOTUS justice Clarence Thomas' recollection of "crushing debt" will turn the tide for Biden's Academia bailout. Subby says not a chance, because it's all about the cruelty source: apnews.com \| share:	67
		Jacksonville finally gets around to turning a multi-generational, heinously godforsaken eyesore into something that isn't. Now if they could just work on the, uhh..."Downtown" area source: news4jax.com \| share:	47

Mon February 27, 2023
		Please scrape the burnt part off your toast, besides it turning you into a Jesus freak it's also apparently neurotoxic source: bbc.com \| share:	46
		Everyone on the small Icelandic island Heimaey pitches in to help baby puffins who get lost, turning left at Vestmannaeyjabær instead of right at Kirkjuvegar. Also, puffin babies are called "pufflings" and are adorable source: smithsonianmag.com \| share:	9

Sun February 26, 2023
		Some people think the "build the wall" was just a rallying cry that was never intended as a serious policy, and perhaps it was, but never underestimate the ability of Texans to figure out a way to turn something into grift and corruption source: texasobserver.org \| share:	42
		It turns out quite a few female students don't like having their skirt length checked by male teachers source: theguardian.com \| share:	89
		Of course you can spend your tax return on whatever you want. Just don't admit it I guess. Especially if it's a pound of weed for $500 source: local10.com \| share:	48

Sat February 25, 2023
		DJT was high on Indonesian cash flow during his presidency, if his tax returns are accurate source: citizensforethics.org \| share:	46
		How dare you not pay me the reward for returning the dogs I helped steal from you source: tmz.com \| share:	33
		'Ethical hacker' turns out to be not so 'Ethical' after all source: theregister.com \| share:	14
		MLS postpones highly anticipated "El Trafico" derby at Rose Bowl, reschedules it to July 4 due to inclement weather terrorizing LA and turning Pasadena into "El Pantano" source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	14

Fri February 24, 2023
		Turns out you can't trust the gummies at your local smoke shop to be free from heroin or fentanyl source: phillymag.com \| share:	33
		Remote workers, please return to the office. Bars and restaurants in the business districts need your support source: cnbc.com \| share:	38
		Fan storms soccer pitch, wrongly assumes that a goalie wouldn't return a punch source: tmz.com \| share:	22

Thu February 23, 2023
		4PM Eastern - It's the Fark News Livestream with Drew, Christine, Dill & Lucky. Turnip Kaiju Baby Shark edition source: twitch.tv \| share:	2
		Turns out "people willing to buy a $100k car from Prince Bonesaw but not Emperor Paypaltine" is a small market source: insideevs.com \| share:	9
		Anne Hathaway turns heads in dominatrix-style naked dress, and I'm all alone again aren't I? source: eonline.com \| share:	108
		What has feelings? As the power of AI grows, we need to have evidence of its sentience. That is why we must return to the minds of animals source: aeon.co \| share:	13

Wed February 22, 2023
		Man finds unpublished photo of JFK assassination motorcade hidden with Bachman Turner Overdrive CD he bought at a thrift store, as one does source: upi.com \| share:	50
		Wisconsin could be having second thoughts about turning itself into Florida North source: thehill.com \| share:	70
		Disneyland warns "Guardians Of The Galaxy Mission; BREAKOUT" riders that TikTok trend of removing lapbelt will only succeed in turning you out like Ronan The Accuser source: ocregister.com \| share:	50
		"There was a Universe before the Big Bang" turns out to be another claim with no evidence behind it source: bigthink.com \| share:	37
(newyorkupstate.com)		After he was returned to the Niagara SPCA for the 3rd time, Ralphie was enrolled in YourEveryDayK9's intensive training course. Hopefully this works so he'll become less of a jerk and find his forever home in time for a future Woofday Wetnose Wednesday source: newyorkupstate.com \| share:	222
		The novel "Generation X" turns 30. The author on how generational trashing is eternal: "It's been entertaining for me to see the exact same venom that was thrown at Gen X being thrown at millennials" source: theguardian.com \| share:	259
		The Wheel of Time keeps turning source: winteriscoming.net \| share:	29
		Amazon CEO Andy Jassy: All employees must return to the office, effective immediately. Amazon employees: How about "no"? Does "no" work for you? source: cnbc.com \| share:	51

Tue February 21, 2023
		Man who didn't return from test drive nabbed in nearby casino ... presumably trying to earn enough for a down payment source: tapinto.net \| share:	12
		As it turns out, selling a 'get out of hell free' card is very profitable source: sportskeeda.com \| share:	88
		Turns out you can use ChatGPT in college, like at Vanderbilt where staff members used it to write a thoughtful email to students responding to concerns about the Michigan State mass shooting source: buzzfeednews.com \| share:	112

Mon February 20, 2023
		So was that gunfire or fireworks at Mardi Gras? Turns out both source: nbcnews.com \| share:	34
		The Crying Game turns 30, and director Neil Jordan discusses its important legacy source: avclub.com \| share:	26

Sun February 19, 2023
		I think we all know how this "debate" turns out source: futurism.com \| share:	95
		I scammed $500K from my friends and family to invest in the stock market, by promising them, in legally binding promissory notes, 10% returns. Since my name isn't JP Morgan, I lost everything instead. How can I weasel out of paying them back? source: marketwatch.com \| share:	83

Sat February 18, 2023
		Head of German intelligence unit turns out to be Russian double agent. Ordering his schnitzel with a side of borscht gave him away source: hotair.com \| share:	87
		Canadian woman turns her kitchen window into a Drive-Thru for trash pandas source: avclub.com \| share:	24
		Niagara Falls, slowly I turned, quickly I fell source: foxnews.com \| share:	18

Fri February 17, 2023
		Despite legal and moral issues, some guy uses a doohickey to demonstrate how to turn red streetlights green. Subby still waits to hear from the patent office about his diabolical device that switches redlit link submissions to green source: thedrive.com \| share:	24
		Elmo isn't done farking around this week: he's turning off SMS-based 2FA unless you're paying for Twitter Blue source: theverge.com \| share:	116
		Houston, we have a problem. Turns out Kennedy's "We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard," lectern that's been on display for three decades isn't the correct one. Oops source: wfaa.com \| share:	45
		Craftsman makes a return as title sponsor. Nick Sanchez won his first pole in his series debut. This is your Craftsman Truck Series NextEra Energy 250 at Daytona at 7:30pm EST on Fox Sports 1 source: jayski.com \| share:	8
		Obvious: TX AG Ken "Felonious Punk" Paxton is suing the Biden administration. Dumbass: to try to overturn a Spending bill passed by Congress because proxy voting was allowed. Obvious again: he's mostly upset about the Pregnant Workers Fairness Act source: msn.com \| share:	83
		Civilization VII in the works. What do Farkers want in the next one? Return to Civ V graphics? Government corruption levels? Certain leaders (Queen of Sheba? Cromwell? Akhenaten?) or new countries (Armenia, Ireland, Mexico)? NO FRICKIN' 2K LAUNCHER? source: gamerant.com \| share:	81
		But, rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have destroyed a Republican's hope of overturning Arizona election results, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it source: thehill.com \| share:	26
		And yet another GQP congressman turns out to have a completely fabricated resume source: newschannel5.com \| share:	54

Thu February 16, 2023
(Some Gopnik)		The story of Tetris, by the guy who wrote the PC version? Sure, Subby will fit that into the subission queue between...uh...wait next time...drop it here...no wait left left turn it between those links...the submissions are speeding up?? source: vadim.oversigma.com \| share:	10
		Last chance to fine tune those idols, since You Know Who has returned. Four drivers are gunning for two spots in the Daytona 500. It's the Gatorade Twin 125s... I mean, Bluegreen Duels, starting at 7 PM ET on FS1 source: nascar.com \| share:	177
		Japanese zoo runs escaped black-bear drill by dressing lucky employee in bear suit and siccing safety professionals on him. After confirming "bear" has been "tranquilized," they return it to its enclosure source: mainichi.jp \| share:	40
		In February 1973, NASA was preparing for Skylab. Link has several pics of the Saturn IB that would launch the Skylab 2 astronauts. Weird: The rocket sits on the "milkstool" (think high stool) because the pad was configured for the taller Saturn V source: nasa.gov \| share:	16
		Europa League returns with some big matches. 12:45 ET games are Barca - ManU, Salzburg - Roma, and Ajax - Union Berlin. 3pm ET Sevilla - PSV. Leverkusen - Monaco, and Juventus - Nantes source: uefa.com \| share:	18
		Activision Blizzard to implement employee return-to-office mandate so they can harass people in person source: destructoid.com \| share:	70

Wed February 15, 2023
		Bill Watterson returns with one of Calvin's worst nightmares source: ign.com \| share:	39
		Pickleball, once a relaxing sport for seniors, has now turned into bullying and public urination. Unclear whether or not those occur at the same time source: wusa9.com \| share:	91
		The godfather of grunge will keep on rockin' in the free world with his first return to the stage since 2019 source: nme.com \| share:	31
		After sailing away so many years ago Enya has apparently returned to these shores bringing "Enyacore" with her \~/ source: theguardian.com \| share:	49
(Some Guy)		The ten most insulting movie endings. List fails with The Return of the King's ending and ending and ending and ending and ending source: faroutmagazine.co.uk \| share:	231
		Kia, Hyundai offer software fix to prevent vehicle thefts. The software reportedly turns the cars into Fords so that they're left immobile source: tmj4.com \| share:	7

Tue February 14, 2023
		Turns out those "birds aren't real" people might be onto something after all source: newscientist.com \| share:	11
		Ah, benefits of turning the calendar to 1923 source: businessinsider.com \| share:	7
		Don't blame the coal mine work for the harbor water turning orange, citizens. It's probably happened before...maybe. We kinda forgot source: bbc.com \| share:	6
		GOOD IDEA, BAD IDEA: Good: Fixing an SSD that's burning out faster than normal with a firmware update. Bad: That won't fix the damage already done. Good: RMA your defective SSD. Bad: Manufacturer returns it, stating "no defects found" source: tomshardware.com \| share:	13

Mon February 13, 2023
		Shares of Palantir are up after it turns a profit, spies on Meriadoc Brandybuck source: cnbc.com \| share:	6
		Ford officially announces $3.5B EV battery plant in Michigan that Virginia Gov. Thinskin turned down source: cnbc.com \| share:	80
		Kentucky Baby Drop Off Box turning out to be a success, replacing the questionable Take a Baby, Leave a Baby tray source: cnn.com \| share:	78
		Who owns who? Who owns you? If you paid them, and they sold you, who picked up the bill, and who paid who? Yeah. Who paid who? Who turns the screw? source: ktla.com \| share:	18
		Hubble telescope captures evidence of spokes across Saturn's rings. No indication yet of baseball cards source: cnn.com \| share:	3
		Barney returns in an animated series, childhoods to be scarred source: cnbc.com \| share:	29
		British family fulfills sailor's dying wish by throwing his prosthetic leg in sea hoping that it would end up in an exotic location. Ends up taking a wrong turn to Weston-super-Mare source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	29
		News: lawsuit filed to overturn election with Dominion voting machines. Fark: only half of candidates listed source: ktvu.com \| share:	21

Sun February 12, 2023
		Brexit is a self inflicted wound on the British People, and it's dangerously deep. Everything Brexit boosters said would be good developments from splitting from the EU turn out to be even more disastrous than the naysayers said it would be source: theguardian.com \| share:	157

Sat February 11, 2023
		NOTAM issued over Harve, Montana. KC-130 Stratotanker flying in the area, F15s reportedly scrambled out of WA. Commercial flights turned away from Billings airport source: twitter.com \| share:	372
		Vin Diesel returns in Riddick: Escape From the Retirement Home source: deadline.com \| share:	34

Fri February 10, 2023
		It's groundhog day again: more stolen classified info at Mar-a-Lago. This time returned after it was copied onto an aide's laptop source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	93
		The real goal of the GQP's committee on the "weaponization" of the Justice Department is to turn conservatives into a protected minority class source: msnbc.com \| share:	89
		Turn around, bright eyes - "an exorcism you can dance to" is 40 source: bbc.com \| share:	51

Thu February 09, 2023
		Ooooh, things aren't looking so rosy at Project Veritas. Turns out, James O'Keefe is a piece of trash. Who knew? source: rollingstone.com \| share:	80

Wed February 08, 2023
		Couple returns home from yearlong trip to find pair impersonated them, sold the house they weren't using. It's like a real estate version of cryptocurrency source: cbs12.com \| share:	29
		Turns out you don't need to study ten hours a day for three years to get a highly coveted civil service job in India source: bbc.com \| share:	14
		Nazis of Poland, Putin's attack dog says its your turn in the barrel next source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	120

Tue February 07, 2023
		With no CRT to oppose, Colorado Spring parents turn to SEL to angry up the blood source: gazette.com \| share:	90
		Hello darkness, my old friend. Should I return to the Pack again? source: espn.com \| share:	25
		Library patron returns book anonymously to avoid nearly 43 years worth of overdue fines. Lt. Bookman approves source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	37
		Elon Musk promised billionaire investor Ron Baron 2-300% returns on his Twitter investment. That kind of thing is pretty much exactly how Bernie Madoff wound up dying in prison source: cnbc.com \| share:	31
		Tractor trailer hauling Jack Daniel's overturns. Fark servers placed on lockdown as a precaution source: myfox8.com \| share:	39
		A Texas woman accused of killing her husband is being held on a $5 million bond, why so high you ask? It turns out that she was investigated by the Douglas County Sheriff's Office in Minnesota after her previous husband was shot and killed source: abc13.com \| share:	47

Mon February 06, 2023
		It was his turn in the barrel source: wral.com \| share:	26
		Jupiter confirmed to have 92 moons. Suck it, Saturn, with your piddling 83 moons source: abc6onyourside.com \| share:	44
		You might want to sit down for this, but it turns out the 11-year-old North Korean girl broadcasting vlogs on YouTube detailing her happy life and a freezer full of popsicles is government propaganda. What gave it away? source: cnn.com \| share:	100

Sun February 05, 2023
		After last week's fantastic episode that should win all the Emmy's, we return to your fungal jungle bungle as Joel and Ellie hit the road and go west. Along the way, they meet the mysterious Kathleen. The Last of Us, 9PM ET on HBO source: comingsoon.net \| share:	84
		The NASCAR Cup Series returns to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum for the Busch Light Clash, as counter programming to the Grammys. Coverage begins at 8 PM ET on Fox source: jayski.com \| share:	295
		It turns out Joe Rogan was a bad investment for Spotify. We're going to need a smaller violin (possible nsfw content on page) source: express.co.uk \| share:	90

Sat February 04, 2023
		Will we get a send up of all the incel rage over The Last of Us? Will Kyle Mooney return for a Baby Yoda Update stint with The Mandalorian? Can everyone avoid mushrooms? Pedro Pascal hosts, Coldplay is the musical guest. SNL, 11:30PM ET on NBC source: deadline.com \| share:	225
		Bruno the cat was returned to his shelter for being too affectionate, demanding lap time and cuddles. "People were coming to our door to meet Bruno, and we got almost all the cats in the shelter adopted in the meantime." Welcome to Caturday source: people.com \| share:	1225
		The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Punt Returners? source: nbcsports.com \| share:	16
(Some Guy)		Too many vodka-Dew mixes will make you do dumb shiat, like driving two hours to a small-town jail and turning yourself in for drunk driving source: southernminnesotanews.com \| share:	17

Fri February 03, 2023
		The Rock who? John Cena who? It's time we admit that the best wrestler-turned-actor is Dave Bautista source: avclub.com \| share:	101
		Turns out exploding balls can have a happy ending source: tmz.com \| share:	29
		Long Island man goes around to thrift shops and estate sales, finds old pictures and videos, then returns them to people connected with the individuals featured. You can't explain that kind of niceness source: theguardian.com \| share:	29
		Squid Game turns out to be inhumane source: variety.com \| share:	31
		Formula One Return? Definitely source: bbc.co.uk \| share:	20

Thu February 02, 2023
		In a once in a lifetime event, someone returns found money to the cops... and it ends up in the right hands. (Bonus: she ends up with more than was in the bag) source: fox2detroit.com \| share:	34
		Coulee Region Humane Society holds Poorly Drawn Pets fundraiser, where your pet photo submission returns an ineptly drawn sketch within a day. Fortunately if your pet is a cat, they won't care source: news8000.com \| share:	3
		First police report in Tyre Nichols case turns out to be filled with lies. Subby is trying to find his shocked face hidden in this giant stack of Obvious and 'murica tags source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	119

Wed February 01, 2023
(Some Guy)		Cathie Wood has one good month of returns in the last two years so now the business press love her again. "Bitcoin to $500,000." So, at least she's still totally insane source: coinjournal.net \| share:	18
		What I learned about dating burnout from 50 first dates. In a row? Buried lede: it ends in ketamine treatment source: refinery29.com \| share:	22
		Turn on your "Predictive Text" to figure out your mythological name and title source: twitter.com \| share:	30

Tue January 31, 2023
		Liberals are starting to turn on Bill Maher for being too conservative. Wait. "Starting"? "Conservative"? source: foxnews.com \| share:	726
		Kimmel: "Seeing Trump return to the campaign trail is just sad. Like when Jordan went to play for the Wizards." A Grand Wizard, if you will source: mediaite.com \| share:	66
		Damian Lillard scored 42 points and had no turnovers. Dejounte Murray scored 40 points and also had no turnovers. This is the first dueling 40-point, 0-turnover game in the NBA history source: twitter.com \| share:	22
		Pro tip: Just as you would request a fired employee to turn his keys in, it behooves you to make him log out of the social media page he operated for you before he goes rogue source: nj.com \| share:	31
		Apparently, there has been about a 60% decline in the market for Giacometti's chandeliers since 2018. However, this one may still give a decent return to the guy who spent $309 on it originally source: cnn.com \| share:	16

Mon January 30, 2023
		Japanese metal sensation BABYMETAL hint at a third member joining the group, returning them to a trio, and making all right in the world once more source: loudersound.com \| share:	50
		JIm Jordan: There is a DOUBLE STANDARD between how Biden and Trump are being treated over their classified documents. Chuck Todd: is that because Biden turned them over voluntarily and Trump ignored polite requests, demand letters AND Subpoenas? source: msn.com \| share:	101
		Turns out Texas med students aren't that different from average Texans source: newsweek.com \| share:	276
		Yahoo could be making a return to search. They should probably google if that's a good idea first source: searchengineland.com \| share:	13

Sun January 29, 2023
		The Merriam-Webster word of the day for January 29 is rubric, as in I was polishing a lamp, but it turned out to be a rubric when a genie appeared and sang 'never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down source: merriam-webster.com \| share:	13
		Let's fire up the Wayback Machine and return to a simpler time when television celebrities would battle one another on camera for our gladiatorial entertainment source: mentalfloss.com \| share:	41
		I know it may seem Impossible to believe, almost Beyond belief, but it turns out consumers really don't like fake meat source: thetakeout.com \| share:	37

Sat January 28, 2023
		The Road to WrestleMania starts tonight at the Royal Rumble. Can K.O. dethrone Roman? Will Alexa beat Bianca? Who will win the Men's & Women's rumble matches? Any returning legends? Unexpected debuts? Find out starting at 8 PM ET on Peacock source: wwe.com \| share:	1642
		Man who phoned in bomb threats released on the condition he get psychiatric help and turns in his library card source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	7
		Hip burger spot in LA's Chinatown went all vegan three years ago. Beef returns to the spot as sales plummeted 50 percent. Menu in article -- uh, tahini shake? source: la.eater.com \| share:	12

Fri January 27, 2023
		The monarchial toxicity of the British Empire causes Alan Cumming to turn in his OBE source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	40
		Mummy & Mummy II double-feature turns into triple-feature with a guest appearance by Rick O'Connell himself. Bonus: He's even wearing the costume source: variety.com \| share:	63
		Chet Holmgren voted as an All-Star starter by several NBA players presumably because they all wanted to take turns dunking on him source: si.com \| share:	9

Thu January 26, 2023
		Well, well, well. How the turns have tabled source: finance.yahoo.com \| share:	9
		Frylock, Master Shake and Meatwad return to Adult Swim to help everyone forget what happened to Rick & Morty source: deadline.com \| share:	50
		Charlie Kirk turns against the RNC, issues ultimatum source: mediamatters.org \| share:	73

Wed January 25, 2023
		House Republicans would like you to know that they know what real Americans are concerned about, like demanding North Korea return the USS Pueblo source: upi.com \| share:	49
		Turns out, nuclear missiles might be deadly source: helenair.com \| share:	39
		NASA unveils methane 'drinking' TitanAir space plane designed to take us to the moons of Saturn. No word if ice cubes, ginger ale and peanuts will be served during the flights source: msn.com \| share:	7
		Apparently the public transit systems in Canada are turning into a nationwide renactment of "The Warriors". Subby eerily clinks together three empty bottles of Moosehead hanging off his fingers source: cbc.ca \| share:	62
		It turns out all those stories about a 40% or 50% decline in ad spending at Twitter were bullshiat. In fact, ad spending fell over 70% in December. But be sure to buy Total Twitter so you don't see all those ads they don't have source: foxbusiness.com \| share:	21

Tue January 24, 2023
		Student plays around with broadcast microphone at high school basketball halftime thinking it's turned off. Whoopsie source: nbcrightnow.com \| share:	65
		They always return to Belichick, as foretold in the dark tome of eons source: masslive.com \| share:	15
		You might be overmatched in Georgia, TFG..... "She had this corner office where people outside lined up, waiting for their turn. There were other great attorneys there but she was probably chief among equals in that department" source: cbsnews.com \| share:	64

Mon January 23, 2023
		And now NorCal wants a turn source: nbcbayarea.com \| share:	152
		Your turn, Iowa source: cnn.com \| share:	99
		President Joe Biden orders flags to half-staff across America as "mark of respect" for Monterey Park massacre victims, never to return to full-staff in foreseeable future source: fox59.com \| share:	80
		"Turns out the Bible Belt is a real thing. It's a strap pious folks wear around their waists. Until they whip it off to flog others in the name of their God" source: al.com \| share:	30
		Most Americans believe that the overturning of Roe was politically motivated, proving once again that most Americans can actually arrive at a true understanding of basic facts when the facts are so blatantly obvious they can be seen from outer space source: npr.org \| share:	48

Sun January 22, 2023
		Florida woman decides to administer alternative pain control for terminally ill husband. It was super effective source: npr.org \| share:	78
		Prince Andrew is going to launch a dramatic bid to overturn the multi-million-pound settlement he struck with the woman who accused him of sexual assault. Poor baby wants his privileges back source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	38

Sat January 21, 2023
		It turns out that being run over by a snow-cat will break a bone or 30 source: rollingstone.com \| share:	19

Fri January 20, 2023
		That's a fast lawyer-up. And I bet she gets some business out of it source: cbsnews.com \| share:	55
		That's a fast lawyer-up. And I bet she gets some business out of it source: cbsnews.com \| share:	55
		God may have told this man to kill U.S. Rep. Jake LaTurner, but a U.S. District Judge told him to go to prison instead. Let's see who's word gets followed source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	56
		Our long national nightmare is over: Wienerman has been returned unharmed source: apnews.com \| share:	28
		What happens when venture capital takes over a respected publication such as CNET? They publish AI-powered SEO spam to get lots of clicks to articles stuffed with affiliate marketing links. In other words, it turns into every place on the Internet source: theverge.com \| share:	24
		Nah, there's nothing suspicious about 3 foreigners without ID scuba diving at night near undersea gas pipelines at the edge of the Russia-NATO border. Better let them go. I'm sure they'll return for questioning source: cbsnews.com \| share:	50
		"I landed my dream job and i really love it, but I am pondering leaving it because I am sleeping with my boss and don't know how else to return to normal. Can I keep my job without the sex?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	18
		Sheriff's office turns to crowdfunding to identify human foot found on beach. Sounds like they were stumped source: kiro7.com \| share:	25

Thu January 19, 2023
		Supreme Count doesn't hAve the sLightest clue as to who leaked the Infamous drafT opiniOn which overturned Roe vs Wade source: nbcnews.com \| share:	145
		Bend over, Texans, the Public Utility Commission is about to pass the massive cost of two decades' worth of neglect and willful ignorance of the state's energy infrastructure to customers, because shareholder returns MUST be maintained at all costs source: wfaa.com \| share:	100
		Could Mississippi turn blue? No, it's the voters who are wrong source: mississippitoday.org \| share:	43
		GOP member of the WI Elections board who recently said the GOP "can be especially proud" of lowered turnout in Milwaukee in 2022, "with the major reduction happening in the overwhelming Black and Hispanic areas" can't understand why he should resign source: msn.com \| share:	68

Wed January 18, 2023
		After watching the Buffalo Bills home playoff win some fans bring home cherished memories while others return with officially licensed team apparel. Then there's this guy who didn't check the bed of his truck and wound up with an extra passenger source: wyrk.com \| share:	34
		Trump announces his plans to return to Facebook and Twitter. Tag is for Truth Social source: nbcnews.com \| share:	111
		Sometime in the 1990s on an Amiga, a Mayor's daughter is kidnapped and he is told to turn on the TV. What happens next may surprise you source: youtube.com \| share:	5

Tue January 17, 2023
		Congress turns off the juice at Judge Rotenberg center source: wcvb.com \| share:	57
		Falcon X heavy liftoff to booster return in 4K. Say what you want about Elon, he makes some nifty toys source: youtube.com \| share:	30
		Elmo is teaching us a new recipe: How to turn gold into lead source: arstechnica.com \| share:	28
		Who had 'algae blooms turn everything in the ocean into a psycho killer' on their 2023 apocalypse bingo card? (possible nsfw content on page) source: dailystar.co.uk \| share:	47
		Outnumbered 7 to 1, he shot down 4 MiGs and returned to his aircraft carrier with 263 bullet holes in his fighter jet. 70 years later, this pilot finally gets his Navy Cross source: stripes.com \| share:	33
		Russian sergeant in a warehouse full of ammunition and troops: picks up grenade turns to troops Listen up, maggots. You WILL respect my authorit-TA, whoops, oh fark, boom BOOM source: msn.com \| share:	104

Mon January 16, 2023
		DARPA wants to turn us all into ice walkers source: gizmodo.com \| share:	16
		After Bob Barker turned him down, Jim Irsay reportedly to offer the the role of Colts head coach to Wink Martindale unless someone can find the instructions on how to rebuild the Dick Clark android source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com \| share:	19

Sun January 15, 2023
		Humanity is decimated by a horrifying fungus that turns infected into cannibals, and Joel and Elle must trek across a ruined America in The Last of Us, possibly the first good videogame adaptation in history. The action starts at 9PM ET on HBO source: cnet.com \| share:	56
		Nena's debut album with "99 Luftballons" turns 40. Subby has always wondered where those balloons ended up source: youtube.com \| share:	68
		Young people all turning to Satanism over stuffy, old Christianity. Take that, Jesus source: msn.com \| share:	213
		Man turns his head too quickly, realizes his neck is not going to buff right out after suffering three strokes and severing a major artery source: independent.co.uk \| share:	48

Sat January 14, 2023
		Ex-Trump aides hatch plan to save America, want to stop 45th POTUS' White House return by supporting a unity candidate such as Ron DeSantis. Wait, they said they want to save America ...WTF? (possible nsfw content on page) source: express.co.uk \| share:	36

Fri January 13, 2023
		Bookstore owner goes viral after revealing customer returned $800 in books allegedly meant to stage a home. 'Don't do this to a small business'' source: chicago.suntimes.com \| share:	58
(Some boffins)		Turning abandoned mines into batteries may deprive future Bond villains of underground lairs; help the environment source: iiasa.ac.at \| share:	35
		Philly woman jailed a week over mistaken arrest warrant from Texas due to computerized facial ID algorithms... oh, wait, turns out a cop in Texas just looked at a Facebook photo and said "Meh, it looks like her" source: nbcphiladelphia.com \| share:	114
		A humble request by Ukraine turned up to 11 source: twitter.com \| share:	87

Thu January 12, 2023
		Ohio couple: We can FA to our hearts' content and never FO because we're sovereign citizens. Prosecution and judge: Frankly we're surprised you didn't try to eat these documents before you turned them in source: vice.com \| share:	65
		AirBnB turns into stab fest. Cleaning fee automatically tripled source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	39
		Matt Stafford has announced his return to the Rams injured list in 2023 source: wrif.com \| share:	17
		The age-old traveling debate about the armrests in the middle seat finally settled by a flight attendant. Don't make them turn this plane around source: wild955.iheart.com \| share:	20

Wed January 11, 2023
		Former NBA journeyman Smush Parker looking to return to the NBA....as a referee source: yardbarker.com \| share:	4
		Bengal tiger found in dog crate after police follow blood trail. Tiger claims not from here, knows nothing about the blood, should have taken left turn at Albuquerque source: koat.com \| share:	28
		Turns out cocaine numbs your sense of irony source: twitter.com \| share:	68
		"Don't kid yourself Jimmy, now that they know how to turn on water taps, if a cow ever got the chance he'd eat you and everyone you cared about" source: indy100.com \| share:	21
		The only thing that would make this story better would be if he picked up snow as he slid and turned into a giant cartoon snowball, weaving a trail of death and destruction down the mountain source: metro.co.uk \| share:	25
		With the Taliban demanding he be turned over for "war crimes", Prince Harry explains he only wrote of his chopper pilot insurgent "kills" because of something something ...veteran suicides? source: bbc.com \| share:	49
		Subby had his penis in a book once, too, but then he was asked to leave the library and never return source: slate.com \| share:	10

Tue January 10, 2023
		It's National Cut Your Energy Costs Day. Put on a sweater, turn down the thermostat, and fark better, not harder source: nationaldaycalendar.com \| share:	11
		Pizza Hut's big 90s menu item has returned, yeah yeah yeah. It's not small, no no no source: thetakeout.com \| share:	24
(Some Guy)		Russia wants to buy its old Soviet-era aircraft carrier from China - the one it sold to them so they could turn it into a floating casino. No word on if it's coal powered also source: 19fortyfive.com \| share:	63
		You're not going to believe this but it turns out that regulations are the key to reversing debacles that were caused by a lack of regulations source: commondreams.org \| share:	34

Mon January 09, 2023
		Biden's lawyers discover classified materials and immediately contact the appropriate agencies to inform them of the situation to get things returned as quickly and forthright as possible. So obviously he deserves to be impeached for it. /s source: cbsnews.com \| share:	188
		House debates and votes on the rules package that the "Freedom" CauQus demanded of SQueaker McCarthy in return for his SQueakership source: c-span.org \| share:	131
		Turns out a twist of lime has been making things better for millennia source: eurekalert.org \| share:	8
		Damar Hamlin has been discharged from the hospital and is returning to Buffalo source: yahoo.com \| share:	47
		Larry Tribe weighs in on Jim Jordan's plans to subpoena the FBI to force them to turn over all the evidence they have on Trump and his 1/6 co-conspirators: "He's obviously legally illiterate" source: msn.com \| share:	83
		Disney CEO Bob Iger: "Covid is over. Return to work immediately or we'll send the Mouse to wipe out you and your family. Thank you for working at the Happiest Place on Earth" source: cnbc.com \| share:	73
		Turns out an '86 Yugo with the keys left in the ignition mav have been more secure than modern Ferraris, BMWs, and Rollses Royces source: theregister.com \| share:	10
		Turns out 'Royal Egger' isn't quite the superlative it would otherwise seem source: bbc.com \| share:	12

Sun January 08, 2023
		Apple Safari turns 20, still refuses to move out of its parents' basement source: macrumors.com \| share:	21
		Republican Congressman Dan Crenshaw: "Terrorists" was just a "turn of phrase" to describe my colleagues, or something source: mediaite.com \| share:	51

Sat January 07, 2023
		Under a new state law, students won't get in trouble for bringing cell phones to school as long as they are turned off and the student doesn't use them in class. Oh, did I say cell phones? Sorry, I meant handguns, the keys are right next to each other source: foxbaltimore.com \| share:	135
		Heirs demand iconic "Sunflowers" painting be returned from Japan, file lawsuit in Illinois, claim Nazis illegally forced their ancestor to sell it off in 1934. This is one Van Gogh suit that deserves a hearing source: japannews.yomiuri.co.jp \| share:	38

Fri January 06, 2023
		You're a flatbed driver hauling heavy machinery and have to make a tight turn. Do you: A. Make the turn and amaze others with your skill. B. Give up and find an alternate route. C. Roll the truck, lose the machinery, and crush a waiting SUV source: nj.com \| share:	15
		Today's word of the day is garner. Doing a reverse u-turn is pretty garn, but when Rockford did it, it was Garner source: merriam-webster.com \| share:	4
		Don't dry your bed sheets completely - that way you can never be sure where that last residual moistness came from source: lifehacker.com \| share:	22
		Lauri Markkanen scored a career-high 49 points against the Rockets. This is the most points scored in NBA history, when the same player also didn't miss a single free throw, had no fouls and had no turnovers source: espn.com \| share:	18
		I don't know why we call dark energy the "accelerated expansion of the Universe." Turns out the expansion rate isn't accelerating at all; it's dropping source: bigthink.com \| share:	35

Thu January 05, 2023
		Coach Beard fired as "Ted Lasso" takes a dark turn source: espn.com \| share:	22
		20,000 year old cave drawings mystery.. The drawings, the mystery wasn't a mystery when they drew them, that happened much later. Anyway, the mystery appears to have been solved source: bbc.com \| share:	12
(Times & Star)		As someone who isn't British, Subby thought "spending a penny" in this headline literally meant "spending a penny". Turns out, there's an alternate meaning. No word on what penalty "save a penny" carries source: timesandstar.co.uk \| share:	70
		Owner of Chicago Bears turns 100 years old. That's funny, Aaron Rodgers doesn't look a day over 40 source: twitter.com \| share:	17
		Barbasol....finds a way....to turn up in interesting places source: reddit.com \| share:	5

Wed January 04, 2023
		Russia blames the New Year's eve attack that killed 90 of its soldiers on Ukraine using the same tactic that Russia used against Ukrainian soldiers in 2014: zeroing in on troop locations thanks to soldiers too dumb to turn off their cell phones source: bbc.com \| share:	48

Tue January 03, 2023
		Apple seems to have misplaced $1,000,000,000,000 in market cap. If anyone has seen it, please return it to the nearest Genius Bar source: cnbc.com \| share:	7
		This dude can fit under that truck-eating bridge, but with only approximately 2 feet to spare source: bbc.com \| share:	29
		Southwest Airlines returns to normal, cancelling only 160 flights yesterday source: cbsnews.com \| share:	20
		The first SpaceX launch of the new year is the Transporter-6 mission from Florida, with a return to launch site landing. This will be the 15th launch for this booster. Liftoff is scheduled for 9:56 a.m. ET. Stream begins at T-10 source: spacex.com \| share:	36
		Steve Bannon wanted to "Turn up the heat" after Jan. 6, presumably by throwing more plywood on his hobo firepit source: huffpost.com \| share:	95
		Brazen thieves rip off music store. Posting this in hopes it helps track down the thieves, return the instruments. Lot of us play. All of us love music source: local12.com \| share:	6