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headlines found matching 'Texas'
Fri August 07, 2020
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Texas Tech Tosses Toxic Trainer...er, coach
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 06, 2020
(Times Record News)
 
 
 
Betcha didn't know CARES act money goes to repave airports in Texas
source: timesrecordnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Chronicle)
 
 
 
Venezuela has some of the world's largest supplies of oil... and zero operating oil rigs as companies pull out due to sanctions
source: houstonchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 05, 2020
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Mandatory heart monitors with punishment for falling below 90% of maximum, 'conditioning' that including pressure on the groin and pelvis, punishment for displaying symptoms of depression. Navy Seals training? Nope, Texas Tech women's basketball
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You know who REALLY doesn't love Mitch McConnell's idea of giving employers absolute immunity from lawsuits by their employees who catch Coronavirus at work? The players in the NBA, NFL, NHL, MLB, and MLS, that's who
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 04, 2020
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Anybody up for another "Can the Democrats really win Texas?" Thread?
source: projects.fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Chronicle)
 
 
 
The official COVID-19 case count in Texas is short by at least tens of thousands of cases
source: houstonchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 03, 2020
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
The season opener between Texas State and SMU to be moved up a week so all the players and coaches can get COVID-19 sooner than everyone else
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Brokeback Cowboys for Trump: we'll kill our firstborn to show our loyalty. Ex-wife, judge: not so fast
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
The mango Mussolini is now claiming his approval rate is higher than Obama's. Yes he's serious, and don't call me Shirley
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
James O'Keefe is behind Trump's plan to steal the election. So we can all rest easy, then, the election is safe
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Texas lifts tampon ban at bar exam after complaints over discriminatory policy
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun August 02, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Texas Governor Gregg Abbot refuses to stand and be counted for Trump at the Republican National Convention
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Deep in a central Texas cave, University of Houston scientists and a doctoral candidate are studying OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. Just no. Not this year. How about next year? Next year is good. It's been there 15,000 years. We can wait
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 01, 2020
(Tucson.com)
 
 
 
Azirona Rep: Raúl Grijalva tests positive for COVID-19 after he attended a hearing of the House Natural Resources Committee on Tuesday with infected Louie Gohmert of Texas
source: tucson.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 31, 2020
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Company in Texas worried that Airlines might not ever want their salty nut sacks back on the planes
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 30, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Covid experts recommend immediately locking down Florida, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Arizona, Tennessee, Georgia, Nevada, South Carolina, Texas, Idaho, Arkansas, and Oklahoma. Care to guess what they all have in common?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Texas is now outpacing New York in number of coronavirus cases
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Ever see a dementia patient give a campaign speech that could make Texas swing blue?
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Matthew McConaughey is set to release a book in October. All write, all write, all write
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 29, 2020
(Economist)
 
 
 
Coronavirus is messing with Texas, despite reading the bumper stickers
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
After years of understanding nothing, Gohmert finally gets it
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 28, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Biden campaign has decided not to mess with Texas
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLOX Biloxi)
 
 
 
The electric generator goes outside the house
source: wlox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Texas AG decides that since County Health Boards are closing schools, he'll take away their ability to close schools. Also, re-names the three Rs to Repression, Religion, and Rigor Mortis
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Brokeback Cowboys for Trump: Go back to Africa. Mescalero Apaches: you first
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Democrats are going to do whatever it takes to turn Texas blue
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Texas is in the midst of a major coronavirus death surge
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
For the first game ever played at Globe Life Field, the Texas rangers brand new, 40,000-seat, $1.2 billion stadium, the offical attendance was ~100 including players, umps and cameramen
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
News: Due to Covid-19 concerns a state governor extends general election early voting by a week. Fark: A GOP governor. UltraFark: Texas
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 27, 2020
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Not news: Democrats ahead in campaign cash. News: Republicans warned about this in 2019. Fark: In Texas
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
"You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing after they have tried everything else"
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Juneteenth is now an official Massachusetts state holiday
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gilmer Mirror)
 
 
 
Louie Gohmert had armed supporters beat up the campaign manager of his opponent
source: gilmermirror.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUT Austin)
 
 
 
Man surrounded by protestors shoots protestor with rifle. I mean the protestor who was shot had a rifle, the other guy shot him. Anyway, it's Texas
source: kut.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
And you thought Post Malone's face tattoos were stupid
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 26, 2020
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Hurricane Hanna slams into Texas. Hunker down all y'all Texas farkers
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 25, 2020
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
You might think this would be a big deal in Texas, but after high school football opens late, we all have nothing to live for anyway
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NOAA)
 
 
 
2020 has gotten us all so jaded that the first Atlantic hurricane of the year is set to make landfall in SE Texas this afternoon and no one seems to have even noticed
source: nhc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Despite Gov. Greg Abbott's mandate that ordered them closed after a surge in coronavirus cases, hundreds of Texas bars will place their state liquor licenses in jeopardy - as well as the lives of their customers - by opening for set 'em up Saturday
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 24, 2020
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Soooo...$9.9 billion to Live Nation then?
source: radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Scientists discover 'rona uses headfakes. Which is good, because now they can defend against them and blitz new anti-viral linebacker drugs
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CarBuzz)
 
 
 
Official: Tesla Cybertruck Will Call Texas Home
source: carbuzz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1901, short story writer O. Henry was presented the choice between two doors, one of which would lead from prison
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The Coastal Bend area of Texas, one of the hottest COVID spots currently in the U.S. prepares to welcome Tropical Storm Hanna. Stay safe, any Farkers in the area
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
Hospitals in Starr county in Texas will now send those dying from COVID-19 home to die cold and alone. Starr county was an early adopter of mask ordinances and had a strict lockdown which had the disease under control until overridden by governor
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 23, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Texas enters the "storing COVID-19 dead bodies in refrigerated trailers" phase
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 22, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Add "tsunami of COVID-19 patients" to the list of things bigger in Texas
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Everything Lubbock)
 
 
 
South Texas hospital determines whether they take in Covid-19 patients based on their survival potential. So to be clear: They have a "survival potential panel" not a "death panel"
source: everythinglubbock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quinnipiac University)
 
 
 
Biden up one point in Texas, where 65% of residents say the spread of coronavirus is "out of control"
source: poll.qu.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Monthly)
 
 
 
Texas Republicans' online convention turns into a dumpster fire
source: texasmonthly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Coronavirus leads to Texas's first drive-through strip club. Patrons furiously vying for pole position
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 21, 2020
(Speedway Media)
 
 
 
Austin Dillon overcame the heat to win at Texas Motor Speedway in Fort Worth, TX, also known as "Hot, AF." Kyle Busch passed fewer cars than inspections, and Kevin Harvick made his 700th start, so he's been around......and around, and around
source: speedwaymedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
NFL: "You know what, the preseason games aren't a good idea and should be scrapped this year"
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 20, 2020
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
If you had a war criminal leading the Texas GOP on your 2020 betslip, please come forward to collect your winnings
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
So, it's perfectly safe to re-open schools because kids just don't GET the Coronavirus and....Texas? You have your hand up? Something you want to share? HOW Many have tested positive? INFANTS you say?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Army COVID planner says he couldn't have caused more COVID than Texas had if he'd planned it
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCBD Lubbock)
 
 
 
Next on the sports team nickname endangered list...the Texas Rangers?
source: kcbd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 19, 2020
(NASCAR)
 
 
 
Can KyBu make it a Texas hat trick*? It's the rescheduled O'Reilly Auto Parts 500, 3 PM ET on NBCSN
source: nascar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 18, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Last Friday, the Nueces County Medical Examiner - in Texas' Coastal Bend - was shocked to learn that a baby boy, less than 6 months old, had tested positive for COVID-19 and died shortly after
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Texas erases the cases and faces the races of the paces of internet conspiracy laces in places that have graces
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 17, 2020
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Texas AG: Jesus will protect the kids
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
I'm not a surgeon but I play one in the classroom
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCCI Des Moines)
 
 
 
Iowa Governor: "All students will return to in-school education for fall lessons." Schools: No
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Congratulations, Thursday. 77,217 new cases in a day is now the record. For the moment
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 16, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
We're at the "refrigerated trucks" handle morgue overflow overture in Texas's reprisal of New York's Pandemic in Springtime
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lafayette Advertiser)
 
 
 
Tuesday, news breaks that Louisiana AG tests positive for COVID. Today AG offers opinions on statewide mask mandate, closing businesses, best techniques to lick doorknobs
source: theadvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 15, 2020
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Trump's former physician Ronny Jackson wins Texas congressional runoff with the promise of painkillers in every pot
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Trump's doc says Fark masks. He is also running for Congress on the Republican ticket
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
The pandemic has caused a major learning gap
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Texas gives 14 million dollars to a billionaire to make vaporware and tweet about weed
source: teslarati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 14, 2020
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Jerry Jones Changes Team's Name To Redskins Now That It's Available
source: sports.theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Can the Keebler Elf triumph over the football coach? Which of the three Democrats will face Susan Collins in November? Will Texas see a blue surge? It's Primary Day in three key states as fates are decided. Polls open at 7AM ET and close at 9PM ET
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Hey Gov. Abbott, guess who wants to shut down Houston for two weeks to quell the coronavirus pandemic? I don't know. Third base. What? He's on second
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Restaurant & Beer Garden open for curbside OK, Beer to go OK, Brewery still open, not ok because your sales to distributors makes you a bar. Gov. Abbot is going to get Segway'd off off a cliff if he isn't careful
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Louisiana's Attorney General announces he won't be meeting with VP Pence when he visits the state on account of he got hisself a lil' touch of the 'rona aieeeegh
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Biden is in your Texas, building an insurmountable lead
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Grim Reaper's driver having trouble keeping up with all the dead in Texas from the "tsunami of COVID"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 13, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Not news: Trump campaign spends 13% of its budget in a single state. Fark: That state is Texas
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Last Call in California for a while
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Russia's US fuel oil exports remain close to record-highs as Donnie clamps down on what's left of Venezuela
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Here's how Trump loses Texas
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
After one step forward, Houston leaders want to take two steps back, into lockdown
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 12, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Biden is leading by 5 points. In Texas. This is not a repeat from 1976...or maybe it is
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
The only thing hotter than the weather outside today is the music inside the Sunday Morning Music Club, where things are getting hot, hot, hot
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Georgia. Ohio. Texas. Dems tell Biden to go big Big BIG to not just defeat Trump but to rout him and discredit his dangerous style of racial demagogy
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 11, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Strong letter to follow
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Observer)
 
 
 
Abbott's dangerous early reopening of Texas was probably a gamble that covid wouldn't hit his base: rich white people in the 'burbs and rural voters. He rolled snake eyes
source: texasobserver.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
28 out of 30 major league baseball teams have had a positive COVID-19 test. Jobu unavailable for comment
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 10, 2020
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Texas scientists create air filter that kills Coronavirus instantly. BONUS: It's inexpensive to manufacture, and can be retrofitted to work in existing air handling equipment
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zillow)
 
 
 
Like your ex, an adorable outside conceals the nightmarish horror within
source: zillow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Uhhh, you could try shutting down everything or is does that make too much goddamn sense?
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 09, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
Hosting next week's Texas Republican Convention? Houston has a problem with that
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Video of man getting new glasses causes subby to get something in his eye
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Shiat just got SUPER-real: School superintendent says there probably won't be any high school football in his district this year....the superintendent of the DALLAS TEXAS school district
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Let's ask 9 republican consultants how they feel about Republican chances in November and boy howdy are the answers doozies
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 08, 2020
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Dallas Cowboys' Poe wants Jerry Jones to support players; Baltimore's Poe wants Jerry Jones to stuff them, feet first, up a chimney
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"Some spots" of economic damage? "SOME SPOTS?"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Know what else is bigger in Texas? The impending mega-droughts
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Texas GOP convention will be conducted in person, damn the COVID, full speed ahead. Except for the party leader, who will appear remotely on video
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 07, 2020
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
UT Austin, which is currently planning to have students in dorms and in F2F classes, and which has no real plan for what to do about bathrooms other than have custodial staff clean them a lot....just had its first death from COVID. A custodian
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Republicans supported Trump because they thought they could control him. Now they're tied to his necrotizing Presidency. von Papen nods
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Apparently, it's not just liberal whiteskins that are upset
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"Arizona joins Texas, California, Florida, New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts and Illinois in tallying more than 100,000 cases of coronavirus"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 06, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Florida and Texas report "exponential" growth in last weekend's coronavirus infections. What happens next will amaze you. Unless you can do third grade arithmetic
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Civil Rights Movement)
 
 
 
Texas GOP votes to hold a 6,000+ in-person convention in Houston, the hotspot of the state's Coronavirus outbreak
source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Texas resident diagrams the Oh Snap flow chart for Senator John Cornyn (R-TX)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Texas Governor to Nurses: "Drop Dead"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 05, 2020
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
The Evil Rich, Texas Edition: GOP power broker Steve Hotze left a voicemail demanding the governor order the National Guard to kill BLM protesters if they start rioting, and you can bet the Texas Tribune just FOIA'd the shiat out of that
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 04, 2020
(NewsCenter Maine)
 
 
 
Amateurs and dipshiats are out in force in the wilderness of Maine, with three rescues in the three days since Mt. Katahdin's been open to hiking
source: newscentermaine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 03, 2020
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
GA Governor Brian Kemp (R-Epressive) hopes threat of college football season cancellation will encourage mask usage, instead of Kemp showing courage by ordering mandatory mask wearing throughout state
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Hospitals in Texas and Arizona establish protocols for deciding which critically ill patients will get ventilators and other scarce resources, and which will get only palliative care before they die. To be run by a panel. Death panels, if you will
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ohio, Nevada, Arizona, Nebraska, Georgia, Iowa, Utah, Arkansas, Texas
source: 270towin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 02, 2020
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Texas Gov. Greg Abbott (R), realizing that thousands of Covid deaths don't look good on a resume, finally hits the PANIC button and orders everyone to wear a mask, which he should have done...4 weeks ago
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
In related news, there's a Black National Anthem
source: amp.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Looks like there may be some football coaching spots opening up in Texas in a few weeks
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The question is, are Texas Trump fans all a bunch of overweight slobs? I mean, I get it, he's just like us, right?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Governor Florida Man says Florida will not re-close. "I think when you see the younger folks, I think a lot of it is more just social interactions, so that's natural." Spontaneous combustion is also natural
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
What's worse than biting into an Apple and finding a quarter of a worm? COVID-19
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
There may be more humiliating ways to die than from a case of Coronavirus that you caught while attending a VANILLA ICE concert in Texas, but offhand, subby can't think of any
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 01, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Forget worshipping Mammon, the TX Lt. Gov goes straight to Moloch
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Now there's absolutely no reason to go to Austin, TX
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Kids don't really carry the virus. Daycare centers: Hold my glitter macaroni art while I lick the Jungle Jim
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military Times)
 
 
 
Pentagon declares California, Florida, and Michigan no-go areas due to COVID-19 prevalence. US space force insists on nuking states from orbit, says it's the only way to be sure
source: militarytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
After 53 years of marriage, a Texas couple does their best to save the economy while holding hands
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 30, 2020
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Why this billionaire is moving his company from a liberal hell hole to ultraconservative Austin TX
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 29, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Harris County, Texas judge on the recent coronavirus surge: "We opened too quickly", goes on to blame Texas governor Greg Abbott for everything
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
What happened to John Roberts, lament conservatives, he used to be cool now he's like bogus
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
In New Jersey, indoor dining at restaurants is now off the menu indefinitely
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Vice President Mayonnaise Von Milktoast declares during a Dallas speech that Confederate soldiers' statues being torn down is a disservice to 'Our nation's greatest heroes'
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
SCOTUS: What part of Roe v. Wade did you not understand?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Everything just "HAS" to be bigger in Texas. Even the number of people infected with novel coronavirus
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Can't have a 100% full ICU at Texas Medical Center if you delete the page with the public data
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 28, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
I hope Pence's prayers are up to date
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
"I trust our citizens to not sneeze on each other" might just be the most idiotic thing a Texas city council member could say about his city's citizens. So... guess what
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 27, 2020
(Forbes)
 
 
 
19 new state polls released and Biden leads all of them. Including MI: Biden +18, WI: Biden +17, PA: Biden +12, NC: Biden +9, FL: Biden +8, AZ: Biden+7, and TEXAS: Biden +1
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Supreme Court again supports the new "Vote and Die" campaign
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump decides he would like Texas' electoral votes after all
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dezeen)
 
 
 
Papier-mache houses? Texas dares to be different
source: dezeen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 26, 2020
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Americans will just have to live with massive coronavirus surge, the ones that live I mean" says Larry Kudlow, noted White House expert epidemiologist
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Barron's)
 
 
 
Stonks drop as the market realizes all the peasants are farking broke, not printing more money
source: barrons.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Ron DeSantis sets a new high score on COVID-19 with an increase of 62% from yesterday. Is now trying to decide between entering POO or ASS
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
♫♫ The Gov does what's right/ In the covid fight *CLAPCLAPCLAP*/ He's shut the bars in Texas ♫♫
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
White House spokesman on Covid: "You'll get over it." Well, some of us, anyhow
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
300 teens possibly exposed to COVID-19 at Texas 'Pongfest' party
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Big government for me but not for thee
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 25, 2020
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
How bad is the surge of COVID-19 cases in the sunbelt for Trump? "There is no guarantee Trump can squeeze out enough rural votes to hold Texas"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Among the never-ending parade of grifters attempting to profit off of COVID-19, here's the story of a silicon valley investor duo that re-packages and sells non-medical masks to Texas hospitals
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Texas governor ordered all licensed hospitals in the hard-hit Bexar, Dallas, Harris and Travis counties to postpone elective procedures but still thinks it's enough of a hoax to not fully stop reopening plans
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Look away dixie, now they're just The Chicks
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Astros owner wants fans in the stands so he can sell overpriced watered down cold beer
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Houston is about to run out of ICU beds. Boy, sure glad those businesses opening too soon made a few bucks before killing everybody
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
We can't leave
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
"If you value your health, do not believe the president"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Red states reopening has been a disaster, and Republican governors are openly panicking
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 24, 2020
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Everything's bigger in Texas, including the number of demands from locals for the federal government to keep supporting COVID-19 testing sites in the state. Seems like they haven't bought into the idea that cases will drop if they just stop testing
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Not even Megan Rapinoe wants to fark with the virus
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 23, 2020
(Fox News)
 
 
 
We've all heard about the Superman curse, but now there's an Alfalfa one too
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Texas governor now between a rock and a hard place, threatens his fellow stupid Texans: Don't make me shut down this state again because of the coronavirus
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
New US COVID-19 cases jump 25% last week with the great states of Arizona, Florida and Texas setting records. If the "Hawaii 5-0" theme isn't brainworming you by now, you must already be on a ventilator
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 22, 2020
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Texas luxury apartment home comes with hilltop view and a whole lot of NOPE
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What Patrick Mahomes wants Patrick Mahomes gets
source: arrowheadpride.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 19, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Senators introduce bill to make Juneteenth a national holiday. With picture of what two black Senators might look like
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Florida and Texas governors have found the cause for increase in coronavirus cases
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ok, which of you Farkers has GIGITTY as your license plate in Michigan? Subbette saw you on her way home today and wants answers, mostly about your choice of double letter. LGT less-funny vanity plates
source: liveabout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 18, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Bill to be introduced making Juneteenth a Federal holiday by John Cornyn (R-eally, for real, are you sure? Texas)
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Dr. Fauci: "Football may not happen this year." NFL: "Challenge accepted"
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 17, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Texas coronavirus hospitalizations jump 11% in one day. Gov. Greg Abbott: "All is well, remain calm"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
If you hate wearing the mask now, you're really gonna hate the ventilator
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Monthly)
 
 
 
Not News: Texas MAGA candidate shows unwavering support for Trump. News: with offensive ad that attacks China over CoVID-19. Fark: in a district with highest percentage of Asian Americans in Texas. WTFark: ad also shows Taiwan as part of PRC
source: texasmonthly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
The NFL is fully aware that some players and coaches WILL get the Coronavirus if they play this season. But let's be honest, if the League, or fans, really cared about player safety there wouldn't BE an NFL anymore, not after CTE was discovered
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
Target and U.S. Bank join a growing list of companies that will offer Juneteenth as a paid holiday to employees
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 16, 2020
(VinePair)
 
 
 
I live in Washington...this doesn't make sense
source: vinepair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Governor Abbott recommends that people follow CDC guidelines, but won't allow cities or counties to require masks. It's going well. Texas is setting records
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Texas Gov. Greg Abbott criticizes young people for not taking the Corona-virus seriously. Yeah Greg that's the ticket, blame the young. Voters will lap that up
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Gundy did not apologize. Hubbard did
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
CoronaBarbie says people criticizing Trump for having zombie-filled rally have TDS, which stands for Trump is Deranged Syndrome
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 15, 2020
(Valley Central)
 
 
 
All those nasty masks and gloves littering the streets are clogging drainage systems during hurricane season
source: valleycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Everything is bigger in Texas, including the number of NFL players with coronavirus
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Davy Crockett unavailable for comment
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 14, 2020
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
Houston mayor Sylvester Turner announced Thursday the intended removal of two confederate statues will be expedited to happen before Juneteeth
source: houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including the number of people hospitalized for Covid-19
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 12, 2020
(ESPN)
 
 
 
NFL to recognize Juneteenth as an official holiday, so no players or coaches will be required to participate in any games, the Draft, or suspension appeals on that day
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Fox News draws the line at comparing Antifa to ISIS; "They aren't beheading people, Dan"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
TLDR; If Texas is in play it means the election is in the bag. Well, I guess I can just stay home on November 3rd and play Descent like a true patriot
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 11, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
MotoGP to resume dragging knees with 2 races in Spain in July
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 10, 2020
(ElectoralVote)
 
 
 
Dark red in only one state with more than 9 electoral votes, and Barack Obama won that one in 2008. Texas, Iowa tied
source: electoral-vote.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Strange red light seen in the skies of NJ. And no it wasn't the annual Staten Island landfill fire
source: educationaltechs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Texas District Judge candidate eggs Texas Judge's Lexus SUV in his driveway to protest an "unconstitutional" stay at home order. Goes to the door, hugs the Judge and tries to give him $20. Then it gets weird
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Marky got with Sharon, And Sharon got Cherese, She was sharing Sharon's outlook on coronavirus disease. Mikey held a protest because Bobby was a racist. They were all in love with dyin' 'cause they opened back up Texas
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 09, 2020
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Texas Land Commissioner George P. Bush (R-son of Jeb) voted for Trump in 2016 and says he will vote for Trump again in November. "President Trump is the only thing standing between America and socialism. It's clear, Republican policies are working"
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Texas man was tased to death by cops after pleading he couldn't breathe after cops pulled him over for failing to dim his high-beams. Wonder if presence of the A&E "Live PD" film crew, MIGHT have played a role in the cops hyper-aggressive response?
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Man holds sign on corner to help address uncomfortable conversations on race
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Let's check in on how the re-opening of Texas is going. As expected, it's a whole lot of "Hold my beer and watch this"
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 07, 2020
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Latest poll from huge battleground state has Biden and Trump tied at 48%. (clicks link) TEXAS? WTF?
source: projects.fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
We're up to 12 Texas GOP county chairs posting racist screeds on social media, ah ah ah
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 06, 2020
(IndyCar)
 
 
 
Indycar series is back on the track but without the crowds. It is a single day compressed schedule with practice and qualifying earlier in the race day. This is your Indycar Genesys 300 from Texas Motor Speedway at 8 PM ET on NBC
source: indycar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Racist Texas Ranger statue removed from Dallas Airport. Texas Rangers contemplating name change back to Washington Senators
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 05, 2020
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Sharing is Caring, unless you're a racist Texas Republican on social media. Fark: now the Ag Commissioner is blaming George Soros for orchestrating George Floyd's death and the following protests
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 04, 2020
(NBC Sports)
 
 
 
In annual remembrance of Cleveland's Ten Cent Beer Night in 1974, two forgotten items: The Texas Rangers had held their own Ten Cent Beer Night earlier in the season; the Indians held another Ten Cent Beer Night a month later with zero rioting
source: mlb.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Texas' Lt. Gov has a solution to the protests and violence gripping this country. Massive, sustained police reform? A commitment to rooting out systemic racism in America? No, these godless liberal protesters just need to accept Jesus in their hearts
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 03, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE may soon be looking out for YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU
source: panthers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quinnipiac University)
 
 
 
Trump better get his ass to Texas, there's a bad moon rising down there
source: poll.qu.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Finally Finley)
 
 
 
Good doggo breaks record for most tennis balls in mouth. I want to retrieve
source: ourcommunitynow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 01, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Judges in Harris County, Texas were far more likely to appoint lawyers who had donated to their campaigns to represent poor criminal defendants. Yeeee-haaah, Lone Star justice, y'all
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 28, 2020
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
Some of the coolest scientific field study illustrations of movie monsters you'll see this week
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
From Texas to Wisconsin to California: "Sorry, no mask allowed, please bare with us thru the ridiculous fearful times"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
If people can't see the thinner rope, then Barnum and Harry Kellar missed out on their best audiences
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Texas Supreme Court: "die for your vote"
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 27, 2020
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Since we're having so much fun with the modern version of the 1918 Spanish Flu, Mother Nature is preparing to reboot the 1930s Dust Bowl
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Reluctant to share public transport with public germs, but can't afford to run or park a car? Back to the future with a bicycle it is then
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Small town Texas bar bans anyone wearing a mask from entering the establishment. The bar owner cited that coronavirus makes a good drinking buddy for their friends alcoholism and liver cancer
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Antonio Express)
 
 
 
A Texas 'event planner' who won a $39 million federal contract to deliver food to lower-income residents lied about his about his credentials and client list and has not delivered as much as one meal, according to reports
source: expressnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 26, 2020
(Food.com)
 
 
 
Subs tried making Sunday gravy and the results were 'meh'. Any tricks for future attempts?
source: food.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 25, 2020
(Engadget)
 
Boobies
 
Texas Instruments pulls support for C and assembly language programming on its calculators, making it harder to install apps. Punching in 5318008 and holding the calculator upside down still works, though
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 24, 2020
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Unlike his time in the NFL, Ryan Leaf actually connects with someone
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
Not News: 65 year old Texas man dies. News: due to injuries from aggressive consensual sex from his better half. Fark: an 81 year old man. UltraFark: whom he's related to
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Harrison, Hardy, Henry and Hudson are extremely rare identical monochorionic quadruplets. Texas always has to do it bigger
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 22, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
No coronavirus catastrophes following reopenings of Georgia, Florida and Texas, despite a steady rise of cases in Texas, playing around with numbers in Florida and Georgia ... oh you don't want to know about Georgia
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
N.J. woman accused of fatally beating wife with wine chiller captured in Texas. Wine chiller currently under interrogation Lone Star style
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"Have YOU donated 110,000 masks to rural Texas hospitals? Be a lot cooler if you did"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Oklahoma builds a seven story Elon Musk statue so he'll build a factory in Oklahoma. Guess Oklahoma noticed what an egotistical creep Elon is. It might work
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Last year the Chiefs finally claimed the Lamar Hunt trophy, and of course the Lombardi trophy. This year they will try to reclaim the Preston Road trophy
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 21, 2020
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
74-year old former TX Lt. Gov David Dewhurst says he's not interested in pursuing charges against his 40-year old girlfriend who is accused of assualting him and breaking several of his ribs; because....40-year girlfriend, so, totally worth it
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Freeway ✔ Flare gun ✔ Father is a serial killer ✔ Launch 🚀
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Texas Mayor: You can't deliver the invocation at Town Council meetings unless you have a young penis. Yes this happened in 2020, not 1950
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVIA El Paso)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Texas, police ask local TV news stations to broadcast a decapitated head. It is not on the back of a turtle
source: kvia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Copperhead viper not a fan of teenager's dancing routine
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 20, 2020
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Tiger King bus at White House to request pardon for Joe Exotic. We've reached the pay per view portion of this circus folks
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
♩ "My bologna has a first name. ♩ It's T-E-X-A-S. ♩ My bologna has a second name. ♩ It's S-M-U-G-G-L-E-R-S" ♩
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
News: Federal judge rules citizens afraid of catching Covid-19 can vote by mail. Fark: in Texas
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Texas experiencing a sharp spike right in the panhandle. That's gotta smart
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 19, 2020
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Actual headline: 'Coronavirus or border wall - lawmakers debate which is more important'
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RouteFifty)
 
 
 
Texas being Texas, starts restarting evictions in these reopening coronavirus times
source: routefifty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Texas, North Carolina, and Arizona all began "re-opening" last week, and in what is surely a coincidence, all three reported a record-high number of new Coronavirus cases on Saturday
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Coronavirus kills off Pier 1 Imports for good
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Sixty-three arrests at Go Topless weekend on Texas beach
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 18, 2020
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Nothing like mushroom hunting out in the woods this time of year. White morels, pheasant backs, hen of the woods, human corpse, black mo- wait, what?
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 17, 2020
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Priorities in Texas
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 16, 2020
(KLTV Tyler)
 
 
 
Sure. This is what we needed. Blue dragons washing up on Texas beaches. Scary tag ran away
source: kltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 15, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Texas reports single-day coronavirus death high two weeks after reopening. I mean, it's not like anyone could've predicted this
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Fired BARDA director Rick Bright's 4-hour testimony before Congress yesterday can be summarized by a 4-word email he got from a Texas N-95 mask manufacturer in January: "we're in deep shiat"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 14, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Suddenly, another semi
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
Much like your sex life, NFL extending virtual offseason
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 13, 2020
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Texas decided to open businesses earlier than recommended. Let's see how that's turning out
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Republican Senator John Cornyn suddenly changes tune, now urging people to sign up for the Affordable Care Act to replace their lost employer-provided coverage
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Texas decides not to pay after a ransomware attack, so there will be no more decisions issued by the Texas Supreme Court or the Court of Criminal Appeals
source: gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
One positive about the lockdown is that there are fewer cars on the road to get in the way when gunfire erupts
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Pro sports can resume on May 16. Pro sports to be suspended May 30
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 12, 2020
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
Texas announces highway disinfecting plan, still no tests for citizens
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Pickup truck fleeing cops careens across several lanes of highway, does barrel roll along divider, lands on wheels and keeps fleeing. With crazy video
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 09, 2020
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
The one instance where vertical video is acceptable
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 08, 2020
(VinePair)
 
 
 
Temperance pastor inadvertently creates coupons for discount beer
source: vinepair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Man killed by a plane landing at ABIA. Airport spokesman Bryce Obvious said "officials do not believe the unidentified man was supposed to be on the runway at the time of the incident"
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including the number of times you can test positive for Coronavirus
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Interactive US map of state COVID-19 testing and reopening. Basically, it's the Cursed Earth from Judge Dredd, minus Texas City
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 06, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Tennesses, LSU, Kentucky, Georgia, Missouri, Alabama, Texas A&M, South Carolina, and Arkansas all announce plans to bring students back to campus this fall. You know why this is under the Sports tab
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 05, 2020
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Texas governor Greg Abbott admits in a private phone call that ending stay-at-home order will cause a spike in Coronavirus cases but is going to do it anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Texas will have none of your Branch Dildonian behavior
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Poll: most Americans disbelieve officially reported coronavirus death counts. Difficulty: Republicans think fewer people have died than officially reported
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 04, 2020
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Police video from Darren McFadden's Whataburger drive-thru arrest
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 03, 2020
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Texas park ranger advising crowd on social distancing is presented with alternative social distancing idea: man pushes him into lake. Yes, video. Yes, arrest
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Texas movie theaters reopen with "airport style security screening". In other words, the movie theater equivalent of the TSA is going to let a bunch of infected patrons get past security anyway
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Andy Dalton is going back home to Texas....Dallas, to be exact
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 02, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
In their never ending goal to find a scapegoat for a natural occurrence, the Trump Administration is now investigating the University of Texas for "dealing" with the Wuhan Institute of Virology
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 01, 2020
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Not News: States start to lift restrictions. News: State governor allows anyone in a household with sick members, high risk members, or kids to stay on unemployment, regardless if they can get work. Fark: Texas
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Texas is forcing everyone back to work today, so let's check yesterday's COVID statistics and see how safe we ar--- oh dear
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 30, 2020
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Happy 94th birthday Cloris Leachman who played Frau Blücher - HORSES WHINNY - in 'Young Frankenstein'
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Texas: The Australia of America, except with guns
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Yee-haw Let's re-open Texas and keep the alcohol-to-go flowing
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 29, 2020
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Be kind rewind as the last Blockbuster keeps taking care of business during this pandemic
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Karen has no time for your nonsense, like "stay at home" restrictions or TROs issued by a judge
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 28, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Wow, Texas and Iowa governors can go fark themselves
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TVLine)
 
 
 
Final Jeopardy: He's not buried in Grant's Tomb
source: tvline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Antonio Current)
 
 
 
Hustler Hollywood in San Antonio providing drive by sex toys. Asinine tag used because you know where they gonna end up
source: sacurrent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 27, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Reality: 10,000 Americans have died of Coronavirus in the last five days. Texas Republican Alt-Reality: Time to open back up
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 26, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"I made an appointment and had no wait, 5 star review" Difficulty: Texas mayor violating stay-at-home order to go to nail salon
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
New poll shows Trump leading Biden by five points. Fark: ...in Texas. Ultrafark: ...which hasn't voted for a Democrat since 1976
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Need your pecan pie fix, but also want to be responsible and not break social distancing guidelines? You can buy a whole pecan pie from a vending machine in Texas
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Interesting Engineering)
 
 
 
In other news, SpaceX did another static test of the Falcon 9 rocket yesterday ... moving us one small step closer to maybe getting the hell off this godforsaken rock
source: interestingengineering.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 25, 2020
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
"In 20 years our country will be run by people homeschooled by day drinkers"
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 24, 2020
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Texas expected to be the next Lone Star on the reopening/reinfection list
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 23, 2020
(My High Plains)
 
 
 
You heard the leprechaun: put down the Lucky Charms - playtime's OVER, futhamuckas
source: myhighplains.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 21, 2020
(Foreign Policy)
 
 
 
China was supposed to be buying $40 billion of US crops in Phase-One of the US-China trade deal. And US oil producers would sure love it if they'd buy Texas crude instead of Russian/Arabian oil. If only there wasn't someone blaming them for everything
source: foreignpolicy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VegNews)
 
 
 
Non-Dairy ice cream bars are coming to select Dairy Queen locations
source: vegnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRGV Rio Grande)
 
 
 
Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick: "There are more important things than living." You first asshole
source: krgv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
ER doctor self-isolates in his kids' treehouse, With pic of pretty cool treehouse
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 20, 2020
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Trump's coronavirus testing czar was given 30 minutes to resign or be fired at Texas A&M's vaccine development lab. Job evaluation: "more interested in promoting yourself," low marks on being a "team player," The Best People™
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 19, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Yeah, good luck with that
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 18, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Texas decides to rebrand itself as West Florida, can't test at a proper pace but eff it, let's open 'er up anyway
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 17, 2020
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
The good news? That pair of designer shoes you just had to have can now be picked up from a store near you. The bad news, well...let's just say it rhymes with: "She still paint got know breasts. Y'all"
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IMDB)
 
 
 
HBD to Jennifer Garner, alias *RAWR*
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 13, 2020
(TMZ)
 
 
 
XFL files for bankruptcy, surprising no one
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Amazon Fresh and Amazon Prime Now's next available slot for delivery for new customers is some indefinite time between now and August, maybe
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Quarantine driving your relationship sideways? Texas couple has found the way forward: reboot (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 11, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good news everyone
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Governor Farquaad will issue executive order removing pandemic restrictions on businesses to "expand and restore the livelihoods that Texans want to have by helping them return to work"
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 10, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
On hearing that many of his followers plan to gather in his name on Easter despite COVID-19, God decides to send tornadoes to stop those idiots
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Texas' abortion ban is blocked again until Fifth Ciruit appeals court judges wake up from their nap
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 09, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
An anti-LGBTQ Republican activist and some pastors in Harris County TX have challenged the stay-at-home order in state district court claiming that the government is issuing edicts and mandates that are "an infringement on religious liberties"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
Dolphins thrilled to have a sloth friend visit them. She flips upside-down to look at him, since he's upside-down on his branch. D'awww-tastic
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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