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Tue July 05, 2022 |
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Sierra Leone Football Association to investigate two "suspicious" playoff matches. What could possibly be suspicious about two matches that ended 95-0 and 91-1?
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Mystery illness brings Guns N Roses to their SHA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA KNEES, KNEES
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New advertising tune for McD's knock-offs in Russia: "Two all-beef patties, special плесень, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun"
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Uh-oh. Looks like the folks at NPR have discovered DALL-E mini
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Uh-oh. Looks like the folks at NPR have discovered DALL-E mini
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Fake Drake has been banned from Instagram. In other news, there's a Fake Drake
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Fake Drake has been banned from Instagram. In other news, there's a Fake Drake
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July 5 is National Bikini Day. Feel free to show pics of yourself in one or discuss your bathing suit experiences
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Due to recent disturbances, any group of guests in formal attire will be refused entry
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Wed June 29, 2022 |
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A soft rock station in Vancouver purges the airwaves by playing Rage Against The Machine's "Killing In The Name Of" on infinite loop, now approximately entering its 12th hour
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Good news, parents. Peacock has heard your pleas, and has agreed to bring back "Caillou" for a whole new season. What's that? Oh, you didn't plead for that? Well, they heard something
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You know what will convince people you don't throw unhinged tantrums in private? Throwing an unhinged tantrum in public
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So how come Donald Duck gets away with this all the time?
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"I'm preggers with my cheating ex's baby. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page)
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I see you baby, shaking that ass, shaking that ass, shaking that ass
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2022 shapin' up to go Spinal Tap as drummer Travis Barker experiencing dramatic health issues, rushed from West Hills Hospital to Cedar Sinai
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DAIM, son
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Thu June 16, 2022 |
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Basketball legend Bird retires. No, not that one. The other one
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Much like now is far too soon to discuss gun control after a great tragedy like Uvalde, it's probably not worth trying to prosecute Trump for illegally fundraising off a lie because that would be, like, really hard and stuff
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Well lookie here, another abandoned child of Herschel Walker. Check your couch cushions, closets, and sheds
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The world can now get through another day, Jackass star Bam Margera has been found safe after fleeing court-appointed rehab center
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Ethan Hawke, Moon Knight guy
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Wed June 01, 2022 |
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Guy spends 20 years looking for his birth mother then finds they were both working in the same hospital
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Twitter is a weird and wonderful place, and Newcastle footie star is a vibrator (possible nsfw content on page)
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Twitter is a weird and wonderful place, and Newcastle footie star is a vibrator (possible nsfw content on page)
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Movie theaters worried about popcorn shortage. For our Millennial readers, a movie theater is a place you pay to watch a stranger's TV. For our Gen Z readers, a TV is a large phone that doesn't have any social media accounts
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Federal court denies Lin Wood's insane request to block the GA State Bar from testing to see if he's insane
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Zuckerberg unfriended
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♪ ♫ As I walked out in the streets of Laredo. As I walked out in Laredo one day. I saw a young cowboy with plans to hunt humans. Plans to hunt humans, turn them cold as clay. ♪ ♪
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Happy National Say Something Nice Day. You know, you people don't smell as much as you used to
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Survey finds most men are asshats, a third are full-on assclowns
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To be fair, it's probably an upgrade to the usual school meals
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BTS has a dynamite visit to the White House as Biden acknowledges the army that helped defeat Trump in Tulsa
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Ice cream shop releases its newest flavor, asparagus ice cream. Goes well with broccoli sauce
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Thu May 26, 2022 |
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Sears, where America USED to shop
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Arizona GQP instigator threatens local Target stores for company's support of the LGBTQ community. But, it's a dry hate
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"Before you restrict guns, why not make schools have a comprehensive security plan?" Uvalde had one since 2018. "Funding for metal detectors and physical security?" $69k in 2020. "Bigger security budget?" Doubled since 2017 to $435k. "Um... prayer?"
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Thai tea stall goes with questionable custom packaging choice for people who like to drink their tea from a penis
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Do you love avocados? Here's a viral hack that could make you violently ill. But hey, guacamole
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Abbott: Cops "showed amazing courage by running towards gunfire for the singular purpose of trying to save lives." AP News: Police waited outside the school for at least 40 minutes while parents and onlookers urged them to do something
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How to tell the difference between "a" Metaverse scam and "the" Metaverse scam
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Herschel Walker's solution to school shootings involves "a department that can look at young men that's looking at women that's looking at social media" that's looking at a taco, that's wrapped in a burrito that's actually an enigma
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How about, "I'm sorry that you're probably going to be gunned down in a classroom, but you have to understand that there are many, many insecure men in this country, and guns make them feel brave, and your life just isn't worth their self esteem"
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♫ Bye bye, to your NRA sty ♫ Air's so heavy where a bevy of our schoolkids cry ♫ While them good old boys still tell their guns-don't-kill lie ♫ Singing, this'll be the day that I die, this'll be the day that I die ♫
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ICE and CBP pinky-swear they probably won't use the Uvalde shooting incident to identify, arrest, and deport any of the kids or their family members, at least for now
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Tue May 24, 2022 |
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Bright Eyes singer walks off stage after two songs, confusing everyone who thought that he would turn around
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Dan is still The Man
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George R.R. Martin has some choice words for those "vicious" fans who won't stop nagging him about when Winds of Winter will be finished
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Arizona is finally leading the nation in something other than anti-gubmint nutjobs, heatstroke, and immigrant deaths
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Snap shares down 32% on earnings miss, dragging down other social media/adtech stocks. OH SN- nah, f*ck it. SELL MORTIMER, SELL
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This is Kevin. Kevin is a former US soldier fighting in Ukraine. People ask Kevin "what are you doing over there?" Kevin says "Yeah, it wasn't our fight many times in history. And then it was. It's not your problem until it's your problem"
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Because nothing says freedom from slavery like cheap ice cream
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Good news, everybody. Johnny Depp is winning his court case against Amber Heard. On social media, I mean, not, like, in the courtroom or anything. And a social media win is just as good, right? Thanks, NPR
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Sony hopes you enjoy your selection of PalStation Plus games
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Ricky Gervais is a comedian. Netflix. We live in a Society. You know the rest
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Fri May 20, 2022 |
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Editorial board of the Arizona Republic says that it is time to remove State Senator Coo Coo McCrazyPants from office
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Taliban selectively enforcing mask mandates
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Man suing college for not letting him be gay on campus
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GOP has had enough of the freedom caucus. Again
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How to fight back against FOMO
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Ben Shapiro is paying for pro-Depp propaganda
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Ben Shapiro is paying for pro-Depp propaganda
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Don't McBreak the McRules
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Beware the formula scammers
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Stealing a Pride flag is not a hate crime as long as you don't "degrade, disrespect, or make any hateful actions or gestures toward the flag," on the security video that catches you stealing the flag
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"like so many millennials, was excited to share a social media post announcing her new job"
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Your oxymoron of the day: 'covert narcissist'
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Because when your political platform now consists of normalizing racism, misogyny, homophobia, and cultural genocide, as well as emboldening Nazis and fascists, "political speech" as a broad category means absolutely nothing beyond unchecked hatred?
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There's a dark loon rising
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Face it SnyderVerse fans: Warner Bros. is just not into you
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Stupid: All-Star teams. Stupider: Mid season All-Star teams. Stupidest: USFL mid-season All-Star teams
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Tue May 17, 2022 |
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An Ohio schoolboard member has been censured over a typo that directed people to a porn site. Oh foinf
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A radiant Hillary Clinton steps out in her Foster-Epstein dress
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Today is National Pack Rat Day, a day to celebrate the musical talents of Martin Dean, Sinatra Frank, and Davis Sammy, Jr
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This whole sordid tale is just further evidence that border collie mixes are smart enough to steal cars and use credit cards, but not very good drivers
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Majority of Texans believe the state is heading in the wrong direction, for all the wrong reasons. Holding their governor accountable for hundreds dying in a freeze, and a $9 billion economic hit after a failed border security stunt not an option
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MiamiCoin collapses faster and harder than a poorly-maintained condo building
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Texas killed George
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'Commie as f-k': Senior Twitter engineer recorded saying the social media giant's staff 'censors the right' all the time. Oh man that sounds serious, who discovered... aw hell no
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Listen I know the tank in front of us hit a mine but there's NO way there could be a mine next to it - let's roll
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The Internet is obsessed with food sculptures, says writer who copies some social media posts and cashes the check
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Today is National Cherry Cobbler Day, so let's all celebrate the skills required to make tiny shoes out of cherry skins
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A rundown of all the social sites and fundraising platforms on the internet that have emerged as a home for right-wingers kicked off other sites. WORST ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS REMAKE EVAR
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Are you ready for Musk Social?
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Phoenix Suns issue social media apology to fans for Game 7 gag job. Rather indicative of the mess they made on the court, they got the arena's sponsor wrong and had to re-do the apology
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