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headlines found matching 'Sheriff'

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Thu July 22, 2021
		Homeowners yell, "Have him die somewhere else," at lawncare-worker trying to save neighbor's life on their lawn. Florida tag crestfallen after selection of Murica tag in a tossup decision source: msn.com \| share:	103

Wed July 21, 2021
		Michigan sheriff alarms small-town clerks with his questions about election fraud, satanic masonic world takeover, and whereabouts of red Swingline stapler source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	42
		Michigan sheriff alarms small-town clerks with his questions about election fraud, satanic masonic world takeover, and whereabouts of red Swingline stapler source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	42
		Pop quiz, hotshot: you come home and find a naked woman skinny dipping in your pool. What do you do? Before you answer, remember this: this was in Florida source: clickorlando.com \| share:	100
		Driver discovered passed out with vehicle running at an intersection gets arres ... hang on, he's a sheriff's office captain. On your way, Sir, and no need for a sobriety check fist bump source: wftv.com \| share:	45
		Good news, Washington State residents: decisions on Constitutional law will henceforth be made by people who have met the requirements of being at least 21 and possessing a diploma or GED and then getting elected source: kiro7.com \| share:	41
		Couple ransacks, robs dollar store. No word on where they plan to retire with $27 worth of stolen treasure source: cbs58.com \| share:	18

Tue July 20, 2021
		Last week: UAPs are curious but totally explainable. This week: yeah, about that, not so much source: thedrive.com \| share:	10
		Slower Horses source: clickondetroit.com \| share:	24

Sun July 18, 2021
		"Life is not a video game" source: news10.com \| share:	59
(Some Guy)		Death Race 2020: Not a sequel, for real source: police1.com \| share:	63

Sat July 17, 2021
		CA: Dispute between two pot growers leads to deadly shooting. If only there were a substance these people could have smoked that would have mellowed them out source: abc30.com \| share:	37

Fri July 16, 2021
		Richard Sherman's father-in-law pepper sprayed the NFL veteran. If he had also used mustard gas, Sherman would now be a seasoned veteran source: ajc.com \| share:	55
		This is my rifle / this is my gun / this one's for fighting / and this one got caught by a zipper while I was in the bathroom source: vice.com \| share:	24

Wed July 14, 2021
		"He left" became "I found him in the bathtub" became "he's stuffed in my wall" became "you're gonna have to end this" becomes murder charge source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	19

Tue July 13, 2021
		Rhambo wants to be the next Los Angeles Sheriff, and draw first blood (I assume) source: abc7.com \| share:	20
		Rhambo wants to be the next Los Angeles Sheriff, and draw first blood (I assume) source: abc7.com \| share:	20

Fri July 09, 2021
		Oh this is a good one. Crumpling a "Back the Blue" sign and throwing it in the trash while smirking at an ACAB lands a girl in jail for a "hate crime" source: ksl.com \| share:	186
		The latest crime wave plaguing upstate New York: roving grease thieves. Thus far the criminals have proved slippery source: timesunion.com \| share:	17
		Not news: Teen gets into argument with Mom, wants to leave. Fark: While at highway speed source: click2houston.com \| share:	60

Thu July 08, 2021
		If you want to save someone from an opioid overdose it is better to give the person Narcan than shoot them up with Meth. You don't want to end up being charged with 3rd degree murder like this woman source: lehighvalleylive.com \| share:	63
		LA authorities seize over $1 billion in marijuana. Unknown whether the amount is the street value or just over-inflated 'cop math' source: nbcnews.com \| share:	52

Wed July 07, 2021
		Burglar breaks into occupied house, toasts frozen waffles, does laundry before being confronted by homeowners, in what was no doubt the most tense 'Leggo my Eggo' standoff ever source: king5.com \| share:	38
		Headline: Georgia man killed in tragic fireworks accident. Article: "The victim was holding the launch tube over his head when this tragic accident occurred" source: msn.com \| share:	98

Mon July 05, 2021
		Man jumps into lake to retrieve bobber, becomes sinker source: bringmethenews.com \| share:	46

Sun July 04, 2021
		Only a good kid with a gun can stop a bad kid with a gun source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	101
		Man makes news by stealing news car source: wral.com \| share:	10

Fri July 02, 2021
(WWL.com)		Use Instagram to find a dentist -- what could go wrong? source: audacy.com \| share:	22
(WWL.com)		Use Instagram to find a dentist -- what could go wrong? source: audacy.com \| share:	22
		Ammon Bundy found guilty after prosecutors didn't sabotage their case this time source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	67

Thu July 01, 2021
		The Po-Po loves Tay-Tay because the DMCA allows cops to use pop music to avoid accountability source: theverge.com \| share:	103
		Or are you just happy to see me? source: clickorlando.com \| share:	37
		Bad: You accidentally pull over a real cop when playing fake cop. WAY worse: He immediately recognizes you because he responded to a domestic violence call involving you a couple of months ago source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	46
		Florida does... something right? source: wcjb.com \| share:	48

Tue June 29, 2021
		A kayaker, a plastic tote, a human leg. Don't threaten me with a good time Cleveland source: fox8.com \| share:	14
		If at first you don't succeed, try again. Although if your first attempt failed because you were trying to post bail with counterfeit cash, you should probably just consider staying in there instead source: wftv.com \| share:	7

Mon June 28, 2021
		Man calls to ask why he wasn't arrested, promptly gets arrested. Meth was a factor source: sfgate.com \| share:	10
		Man fights off rabid bobcat by twisting its paw, manages to escape without having to resort to nipple twisting or giving it a swirlie source: abc11.com \| share:	54
		Peeping Tom is now Bleeding Tom source: msn.com \| share:	96

Sun June 27, 2021
		Don't kid yourself Jimmy, if a cow ever got the chance he'd eat you and everyone you cared about source: abc7.com \| share:	62

Fri June 25, 2021
		Pawnee man arrested for burning American flag. This never would have happened in Eagleton source: kwch.com \| share:	91

Thu June 24, 2021
		Ex-SNLer Laraine Newman testified that a friend had created an alibi for Durst in the Berman murder trial. Sounds like it might be a while before you see Limp Bizkit again source: yahoo.com \| share:	26
		Actual headline: 'Redneck Rave' descends into throat slashing, impalements, and mass arrests. "We were like, 'Well, this doesn't bode well for the weekend.'" source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	80
		Texas police Lieutenant under suspension for one thing has now been fired for (checks notes) light treason source: kens5.com \| share:	45

Wed June 23, 2021
		What's the opposite of washing laundry called? source: nbc-2.com \| share:	44
		Redneck Rave turns into Redneck Rampage. Drew found passed out beside a bag of pork rinds source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	82
		Oh sweet, Subby is finally going to get his dream of seeing cows jumping over things on motorcycles source: abc7.com \| share:	26

Tue June 22, 2021
		I was told there would be no $2.5 million meth source: wral.com \| share:	13
		FEC thinks former Texas sheriff isn't shooting straight source: forbes.com \| share:	19
		Wild wedding: Fists fly at a reception when unwanted guests try to steal beer source: fox8.com \| share:	80
		Police warn drunken man stumbling around parking lot not to drive. He promptly tells them, Fark you I'm a State Trooper, I do what I want source: wtnh.com \| share:	47

Mon June 21, 2021
		Ken Paxton once returned a $1000 pen to another lawyer...after he got caught with it source: dallasnews.com \| share:	100
		Ken Paxton once returned a $1000 pen to another lawyer...after he got caught with it source: dallasnews.com \| share:	100

Sun June 20, 2021
		"Tractor rampage" would be a good band name source: kktv.com \| share:	34
		"Tractor rampage" would be a good band name source: kktv.com \| share:	34

Fri June 18, 2021
		Ungrateful couple traumatized by police raid which left a lovely abstract work of art on the walls and ceiling source: cbc.ca \| share:	73

Thu June 17, 2021
		I told you so source: local10.com \| share:	42

Wed June 16, 2021
		When you are wanted on outstanding charges, it is ill advised to blast past a state trooper in a gas station parking lot. On a minibike. While carrying meth, marijuana, and Adderall pills source: wearecentralpa.com \| share:	24

Tue June 15, 2021
		No mask, but plenty of bullets source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	125

Mon June 14, 2021
		♪ Sittin' on the dock of the bay . . . watching the Aaaaambulance sail away ♪ source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	19
		1 dead, others injured in Minneapolis after man deliberately drives car into crowd of people protesting the police execution of yet another Black man. It's almost like passing laws around the country that encourage people to do that has consequences source: npr.org \| share:	129

Sun June 13, 2021
		"January 6 was just the start" source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	103
		Texas man goes to Florida, finds out source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	162

Sat June 12, 2021
		A guy could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that source: fox5ny.com \| share:	45

Fri June 11, 2021
		Another pantless Florida woman. Must be hot down there this week source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	84

Thu June 10, 2021
		Cops: "We had to fire into the car multiple times because the driver had a gun." Passenger in the car: "He what now?" source: mprnews.org \| share:	72
		At this point a chess player's time clock would be more useful for tracking days without a mass shooting in the US source: nbcnews.com \| share:	89
		If you've been going on numerous shoplifting sprees in Stafford County, VA while wearing animal onesies, the police would really like to have a word. And I'm not just talking about the Fashion Police, although they certainly want their turn source: nbcwashington.com \| share:	16
		Get to McDonald's too early to get a Happy Meal? Do you, A) Get over it and come back later, B) Shrug your shoulders and order breakfast, or C) Threaten to shoot everyone in the building? source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	64
		Biggest fan, my only fan source: nbcbayarea.com \| share:	24
		Pilot arrested for buzzing over, nosediving toward crowd at Gulf Coast Jam Saturday, all to advertise his flight school. Lucky cops didn't shoot him down source: mypanhandle.com \| share:	55

Wed June 09, 2021
		"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds" doesn't mention anything about gators source: abcactionnews.com \| share:	17

Tue June 08, 2021
		Surviving a crash, ejected from a car, lost and without support, instincts take over source: khq.com \| share:	14
		Sheriff Buford T. Justice still chasing Bandit forty-four years later and may soon have them in custody source: journalstar.com \| share:	33

Sun June 06, 2021
		It's bad enough when a 14-year-old is accused of murder, but it really makes you wonder what the world is coming to when his mother tries to destroy the evidence source: clickorlando.com \| share:	227

Sat June 05, 2021
		Protip: When fleeing police, it's never a good idea to distract them by throwing a A: Smoke bomb? B: Firecracker? or C: Baby? source: nbcnews.com \| share:	33

Fri June 04, 2021
		Museum fire caused by ignited "dandelion fluff" source: kbzk.com \| share:	10
		Georgia's governor decides that maybe Clayton County Sheriff Victor Hill shouldn't be sheriffing just right now, seeing as how he's under federal indictment for violating the civil rights of pre-trial detainees in his jail source: msn.com \| share:	37
		It takes some balls to steal the sheriff's SUV from outside of his office. Brains not so much source: myfox8.com \| share:	17

Thu June 03, 2021
		A Michigan Highland Park police detective is busted for selling fentanyl-laced heroin. Fark: Ten years ago she was fired by the Wayne County sheriff's department. Mega Fark: Wayne county fired her for helping felons smuggle drugs into prison source: freep.com \| share:	39
		Anything's a kerfuffle at a political event if you're brave enough source: theguardian.com \| share:	23
		Anything's a kerfuffle at a political event if you're brave enough source: theguardian.com \| share:	23
		Man threatens to kill people over pornographic video. Then it gets very strange source: wearecentralpa.com \| share:	47
		How dare they source: azfamily.com \| share:	38

Wed June 02, 2021
		Is there a Kidz Bop version of 'I fought the law'? source: miami.cbslocal.com \| share:	80

Tue June 01, 2021
		Escaped Zebra avoids capture from Tennessee police for three hours. One officer threatens to 'Tase' it. Well it is half black source: msn.com \| share:	37

Mon May 31, 2021
		Items seized from the home of a TX man accused of plotting a mass shooting at a Walmart: AR-15? Check. Copy of the "Turner Diaries"? Check. Neo-Nazi flag? Check. Confederate Flag? Check. Saudi Arabian Flag? Che- wait, what? source: cnn.com \| share:	140

Sun May 30, 2021
		Distrust between law enforcement agencies results in some constitutional sheriffing source: twincities.com \| share:	54

Sat May 29, 2021
		Minnesota sheriff takes over pursuit at 40,320 furlongs/fortnight source: youtube.com \| share:	37
		Sure, Adam, I'll hold your beer. Why? Where are going? Adam? Adam DUDE WHAT ARE YOU DOING? source: thedenverchannel.com \| share:	33
		Fishing now carries the death penalty, at least according to these cops source: wusa9.com \| share:	208

Fri May 28, 2021
		♫ Oklahoma, where the assumed dead comes sweepin' down the plain ♫ source: msn.com \| share:	7
		Great job, Tucker. Thanks a bunch source: arlnow.com \| share:	55

Thu May 27, 2021
		Woman who drove car through COVID-19 vaccination tent yelling "no vaccine" will soon have "no freedom" source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	102
		Child porn distribution is a tough blemish for someone wanting to find a new job, especially for a former chief of police source: kbzk.com \| share:	28

Wed May 26, 2021
		Woman who attacked another woman at a Little Caesar's has been arrested for assault, kidnapping, and having horrible taste in pizza source: foxnews.com \| share:	137
		Reset the clock in San Jose, CA source: abc7news.com \| share:	289

Tue May 25, 2021
		God: "Kick him in the balls." Mark Samsel: "But my Lord, I shoul " God: "DID I FARKING STUTTER??" source: huffpost.com \| share:	108
		Please note: in spite of ongoing efforts across the country, is still currently illegal to run over protesters in your car, as this North Carolina woman has found out source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	57
		You know the drugs are good when the drug sniffing dog passes out source: fox16.com \| share:	30

Mon May 24, 2021
		Tyler Terry's Manhunt has ended. Madea has no comment source: wyff4.com \| share:	27
		Homeowner wanted to improve his view of the lake and mountain, so he contracted a tree service to butcher over 100 trees. Fark: Ouachita National Recreation Trail in Arkansas. The trees were NOT on his property source: ozarksfirst.com \| share:	140
		In the buttocks source: local10.com \| share:	39

Sat May 22, 2021
		County Sheriff's office in Virginia asks residents who have chickens to register online, in case their chickens break free and endanger them or the community. Sheriff sounds like a chicken source: wric.com \| share:	37

Fri May 21, 2021
		Today we find out where's Kyle and how tall he is source: wisn.com \| share:	120
		Looks like BLM gets a new chant courtesy of Tennessee source: newschannel5.com \| share:	87

Thu May 20, 2021
		You ever have your spouse do something that embarrasses you at work? Rochester mayor Lovely Williams has got you beat source: msn.com \| share:	37
		Virginia sheriff's deputy hulks out, lifts car off of trapped woman source: wjla.com \| share:	55
		Don't know the difference between a Dodge Charger and a Dodge Challenger? Have trouble distinguishing grey from black? You just might murder the wrong person source: nbcdfw.com \| share:	88
		11-year-old avoided abduction and threw blue slime at attacker "to mark him" based on watching Law & Order SVU. Lazy dads everywhere rejoice in knowing that letting your kids watch inappropriate TV shows can really pay off. Suck it, moms source: cnn.com \| share:	122
		Hoarders just can't throw anything away source: abc.net.au \| share:	30
		Louisiana state troopers can be seen on a dark roadside stunning, punching and dragging a Black man to his death. Cop died in a crash a year later hours after finding out he'd be fired. WARNING: EXPLICIT VIOLENCE IN VIDEO source: apnews.com \| share:	164
		Of all the shiats Sherlock never had, this one was never had the most source: theguardian.com \| share:	17

Wed May 19, 2021
		Do you know why I pulled you over? Hello? HELLO? WAKE UP source: cnn.com \| share:	33
		Woman mistakes Little Caesar's for a Chuck-E-Cheese and viciously attacks another woman, stomping on her head while everyone stands around and films source: foxnews.com \| share:	161
		If finger guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have finger guns source: wyff4.com \| share:	77

Tue May 18, 2021
		Two dead after Party Bus becomes Bang Bus source: kron4.com \| share:	24
		Woman, probably tapping her finger on her head, refuses to tell the cops where she lives after admitting she cashed forged checks source: wearecentralpa.com \| share:	13
		"He's heading right away from us" found to be valid excuse for shooting by NC DA source: cnn.com \| share:	113
		Sorry hangry gator. This is a Wendy's source: wfla.com \| share:	17
		Elect a racist clown as your sheriff, don't be surprised when the racial profiling circus comes to town source: apnews.com \| share:	36
		You're not going to get a lot of repeat business if you shoot your customers in the head every time there is a dispute source: wfla.com \| share:	24
		"Tesla, engage autopilot mode." "Cop-seeking mode engaged." "Wait, that's not what I--" CRASH source: kiro7.com \| share:	59

Mon May 17, 2021
		Some nimrod brings a possibly live mortar round into the local bar for show-and-tell. Naturally, it's the Nimrod Bar source: bringmethenews.com \| share:	36
		Not news: saw splits tree down the middle. Holy fark: collision with tree splits car down the middle source: fox4kc.com \| share:	38
		But officer, the sign said 95 source: unionleader.com \| share:	68

Sun May 16, 2021
		Most big-box "superstores" would think 16,000 square feet a bit on the small side, but apparently it's big enough to make a new pot store in Boston - the largest on the east coast. Spliffy tag is still misspelled source: wcvb.com \| share:	15

Sat May 15, 2021
		Things have gone off the rails in Minnesota source: cnn.com \| share:	43
		K9 bites cow, SC deputy Tases K9, cow kicks deputy. Taah-daaah source: kfor.com \| share:	57
		South Carolina gonna South Carolina source: nbcnews.com \| share:	61

Fri May 14, 2021
		South Dakota Supreme Court to person whose home was destroyed by cops searching for a suspect that wasn't there, "Sucks to be you" source: techdirt.com \| share:	72
		I see your burnt down Hummer and raise you a burnt down Pontiac with the driver still inside source: jalopnik.com \| share:	94

Thu May 13, 2021
		Florida Man found hiding under pool deck after going off the deep end while driving source: clickorlando.com \| share:	6
		Could social media trolls face charges for interfering with murder investigation by posting false leads, fake evidence, harassing family members, case detectives? source: news4jax.com \| share:	8
		Could social media trolls face charges for interfering with murder investigation by posting false leads, fake evidence, harassing family members, case detectives? source: news4jax.com \| share:	8
		Oh, skydiving over Colorado, cool. OK maybe not if it's two aircraft and one deployed a parachute source: cnn.com \| share:	73

Wed May 12, 2021
		Cops, are you sure you got the right guy? Guy: thumbs up source: wsaz.com \| share:	77

Tue May 11, 2021
		Estate of 54 year old man may want to seek refund from anger management class provider source: fox10tv.com \| share:	36
		Family members clearing out their deceased father's home make a discovery that better have a damn good explanation but probably doesn't source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	70
		Oregon cop fired for not arresting other Oregon cop who got fired source: usatoday.com \| share:	47

Mon May 10, 2021
		Who takes a bomb to the Dollar Store? This guy source: lehighvalleylive.com \| share:	28

Sat May 08, 2021
		Tennessee police use multiple tasers to subdue agitated civilian, who is still alive only because he's half white source: theguardian.com \| share:	34
		They brought a pistol to a water gun fight source: ajc.com \| share:	31
		Kill your wife, refuse to drop your gun and get shot by deputies, bond out of jail, cut off your ankle monitor, hold a car salesman at knifepoint during a test drive, steal the car, and escape. That's how you start your search for the one-armed man source: abc13.com \| share:	64

Fri May 07, 2021
		I didn't shoot the sheriff, because he stole all the guns source: wral.com \| share:	24
		Who among us has not been in the middle of Army Basic Training and said to ourselves "I'm going to take this rifle, hop the fence, steal a bus and get the hell out of here. My recruiter lied to me. This ain't like Call of Duty" source: marketwatch.com \| share:	167
		You mean the search warrant doesn't cover slamming a door into your car, sorry my bad source: reason.com \| share:	51

Thu May 06, 2021
		Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? source: nbcnews.com \| share:	49
		Human remains found at Big Arm State Park identified, after authorities were initially stumped source: krtv.com \| share:	9

Sun May 02, 2021
		Jet skis: Crotch rockets of our waterways source: fox13news.com \| share:	71

Sat May 01, 2021
		What book do you bring to an arson? source: foxbaltimore.com \| share:	62
		Former deputy admits to beating Black suspects for "sweet stress relief", dropping N-bombs, and wanting Blacks charged with felonies so they can't vote. But his lawyer says he "isn't a bigot or racist" source: cnn.com \| share:	136

Fri April 30, 2021
		Michigan Sheriff's Deputy celebrating rare shooting two'fer source: msn.com \| share:	95
		The Clayton County, Georgia Sheriff's Office has had a bad week. The Sheriff was indicted, a prisoner escapes during transportation, and another prisoner has escaped during transportation today source: wsbtv.com \| share:	31
		Remember that bar owner on the lam? So did the authorities source: kaaltv.com \| share:	24
		Video voyeurism is illegal, can lead to jail time. So why did county jailers set up visitation cameras with clear view of inmate showers? source: wfla.com \| share:	31

Thu April 29, 2021
		Man was in his garage "surrounded by chainsaws" when police stopped to question him about chainsaw thefts. Lou seen taking notes on this fine police work source: wearecentralpa.com \| share:	37
		"Boulders block road in Boulder Canyon near Boulder according to Boulder County Sheriff's Office" source: kktv.com \| share:	39
		Columbus OH officials ask DOJ to investigate their police force. "My dearest Merrick, Columbus is hell. It has been hours since the last killing and morale is low" source: apnews.com \| share:	28

Wed April 28, 2021
		Medical examiner rules Marvin Scott's in-custody death as: A few officers are going to get a nice, long paid vacation source: nbcdfw.com \| share:	55
		Cops, claiming body cam video proves their Taser darts only hit suspect, didn't electrocute dog, forget electricity conducts source: whnt.com \| share:	78
		Cops, claiming body cam video proves their Taser darts only hit suspect, didn't electrocute dog, forget electricity conducts source: whnt.com \| share:	78

Tue April 27, 2021
		Stealing moisturizer and women's underwear from Walmart is no way to go through life, Mr. Police Officer source: wktv.com \| share:	36

Mon April 26, 2021
		Andrew Brown's family has been informed that they will not be permitted to view the body cam footage until police have finished redacting it. Because, you know, that's totally something they should be allowed to do source: cnn.com \| share:	112
		Supreme Court will hear a major NRA-backed gun rights case over a 1913 statute that limits New Yorkers from carrying concealed handguns while in public. Way to read the room guys source: axios.com \| share:	305
		Who says police reform won't work? Newark, NJ, police department went through all of 2020 without firing a single shot source: nj.com \| share:	77

Sun April 25, 2021
		Texas man had a burning desire to get arrested source: kxan.com \| share:	9
		Confederate monuments have been coming down at a record pace since the murder of George Floyd source: axios.com \| share:	119
		In the continuing trend of "completely believable police statements," cop shot a Black man on the phone with 911 because he thought he had a gun to his head source: axios.com \| share:	165

Sat April 24, 2021
		Bar owner in hiding will surrender herself if conditions are met. Why yes, this is covid-related source: startribune.com \| share:	82
		Bar owner in hiding will surrender herself if conditions are met. Why yes, this is covid-related source: startribune.com \| share:	82

Fri April 23, 2021
		After the former Maryland medical examiner testified that Floyd maybe possibly died from carbon monoxide or a heart attack and not from Chauvin suffocating him, Maryland is re-examining every "in custody" death he signed off on source: baltimoresun.com \| share:	46
		Just a reminder that you're allowed to film police while they brutalize civilians and murder minorities. Here's how to do it without hurting their fee-fees so they don't decide to come after you, too source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	39

Thu April 22, 2021
		Louisiana state police ask Baton Rouge woman to give them the tracking device they put on her car back source: jalopnik.com \| share:	105
		Virginia police officer fired after making an online donation to Kyle Rittenhouse. My God, where has this country gotten to when its law enforcement officers can't openly support murderous white supremacists anymore? source: cnn.com \| share:	62

Tue April 20, 2021
		Skydiver's death blamed on contractor rigger. Actual quote: "We're sad but it's just like a car wreck or anything else. You have to go on," he said source: msn.com \| share:	26
		Only 1 in 5 medical examiners admit to covering up cop murders source: motherjones.com \| share:	17
		Man steals Doritos truck and leads police on a chase ending just outside Enid OK. Hey he was just trying to get to Kirby Paint and Tile Plus source: msn.com \| share:	12
		Don't worry about parachute malfunctions. You have the rest of your life to deal with them source: sfgate.com \| share:	22

Sun April 18, 2021
		They said the quiet part out loud source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	158
(Some Amateur Lawyer)		From our good advice department: If you're driving around with 22 pounds of the best plant we have, make sure that you have plates on your vehicle. This is true even in Mendocino County, CA source: kymkemp.com \| share:	11

Sat April 17, 2021
		Once again for the people in the back: There are no 15-year-old girls that are meeting for sex on the Internet source: kxan.com \| share:	64
		Arguing about their dirty laundry (figuratively), leads to fire set to dirty laundry (literally). A laundry list of charges awaits source: fox6now.com \| share:	16

Fri April 16, 2021
		You're bl, I mean a rapper, you can't renew your CCW source: cleveland19.com \| share:	132
		You're bl, I mean a rapper, you can't renew your CCW source: cleveland19.com \| share:	132
		Massachusetts wants to pull the plug on Robinhood. Sheriff of Nottingham approves source: cnn.com \| share:	6

Thu April 15, 2021
		A hot take from Radical Far Leftist checks notes WTF that can't be correct, the words make sense but the journalist must've gotten the name and face wrong source: mediaite.com \| share:	150
		You'll no doubt be shocked that the "expert" who testified that George Floyd just happened to have a heart attack while Chavin's neck was on his knee, is being sued by the MD ACLU for covering up a similar police murder in MD when he was the ME source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	60
		US Army Sgt. Jonathan Pentland charged with third-degree assault and battery for aggressively pursuing and shoving a black man who was just walking in their South Carolina neighborhood source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	253
		US Army Sgt. Jonathan Pentland charged with third-degree assault and battery for aggressively pursuing and shoving a black man who was just walking in their South Carolina neighborhood source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	253

Wed April 14, 2021
		What we have all have been waiting for: Soldier charged after video of confrontation with Black man source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	218
		Kim Potter: "Well, I screwed up, so I'll resign." Minnesota State Government: "Not so fast" source: apnews.com \| share:	204

Tue April 13, 2021
		After being tried in the court of public opinion for years, Kristin Smart's killer will finally get his chance at being tried in an actual Courthouse now source: ksby.com \| share:	30
		Life is not like Monopoly. If a bank, or brokerage, makes a mistake in your favor, you're supposed to give it back. Not transfer it to another account and buy a house source: foxbusiness.com \| share:	104
		Trevor Lawrence signs lifetime contract source: yahoo.com \| share:	38

Sun April 11, 2021
		Apparently in the Sunshine State, if you are an average shmuck who gets arrested, cops will gleefully tweet out your mugshot before you've even been so much as charged with a crime, but if you are a state official, that's protected information source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	28
		Well, there is a reason it's called DEATH Valley source: foxnews.com \| share:	135

Sat April 10, 2021
		Q: How does a man shoot at the police while his gun is in his waistband and the clip is still full after his death? A: NTIFA source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	352
		There are people out there just now noticing the rich get special treatment source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	11

Wed April 07, 2021
		LA Sheriff says Tiger Woods rollover accident due to gritty reboot of Keanu Reeves/Sandra Bullock action film source: msn.com \| share:	82
		LA Sheriff says Tiger Woods rollover accident due to gritty reboot of Keanu Reeves/Sandra Bullock action film source: msn.com \| share:	82
		Cause of Tiger Woods' car crash revealed: his vehicle left the road and hit some stationary objects. Also he was speeding source: tmz.com \| share:	50
		Arkansas man proves that Twisted Metal tactics don't work in real life source: arkansasonline.com \| share:	31

Tue April 06, 2021
		During Jeopardy final round, contestant answers with only question that matters to guest host Aaron Rodgers source: yahoo.com \| share:	7
		You keep using that term...I do not think it means what you think it means source: krtv.com \| share:	21

Fri April 02, 2021
		Utica man celebrates release from jail by going to Walmart, stealing a pellet gun and attempting to steal two cars. Not sure but that might be called steaming hams source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	29
		"High school senior fatally shot by friend during target practice". Well, it's safe to say the friend REALLY needed the practice, then source: msn.com \| share:	44
		OMG, there's an active shooter at work and they're barricaded in an office. JK, April Fools source: whio.com \| share:	36

Thu April 01, 2021
		Naked man strolling in street at 1 AM told cops he was doing "walk of shame" for cheating on wife source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	24
		It's been two weeks since that mass shooting at Atlanta spas. How many more mass shootings do you think have happened in America since then? Guess your number, then click the link source: cnn.com \| share:	431

Wed March 31, 2021
		Los Angeles County sheriff says detectives have determined what caused Tiger Woods to crash his SUV, but they aren't going to tell you source: wusa9.com \| share:	74
		Stray tire kills one police officer and injures another along with a civilian, before being taken into custody without incident. Betty Whitewall source: ktla.com \| share:	57
		Anti-Vax Constitutionalist group protests at a hospital, where no arrests were made. Naturally they want the county sheriff to be removed anyway source: koin.com \| share:	67
		If you lose your hotel key, just call the front desk for a new one. Don't try to climb through the window. Symptoms include fatigue, loss of breath. Death may result source: people.com \| share:	43

Tue March 30, 2021
		44 lbs of meth, 16 lbs of cocaine found along with guns in a North Carolina home. C'mon guys, this is like a Wednesday here in Florida source: cbs17.com \| share:	23

Mon March 29, 2021
		Citing known liar Andy Ngo, Fox News headline breathlessly claims "heavily armed" "Antifa rioters" "descended' on the Capitol building in Salem Oregon. TFA and by "heavily armed" we mean "a couple of guys with paint balloons and laser pointers" source: foxnews.com \| share:	92
		He's not getting too old for this sh*t source: cnn.com \| share:	31
		In 2020 Democrat turned Republican Jeff Van Drew won re-election by smearing his opponent as anti-cop. Gonna be harder to do with his 2022 opponent: An ex-cop himself, who as a teen was wrongly beaten and shot by cops in a case of mistaken identity source: politico.com \| share:	36
(Some Guy)		Kite surfing done wrong: They find your body in another country source: mynbc5.com \| share:	24

Sat March 27, 2021
		"There are no signs of foul play, but the death is considered suspicious." ORLY, Deputy Obvious? source: kiro7.com \| share:	38

Fri March 26, 2021
		Man loitering in empty lot in stolen car refuses police officers orders to exit the vehicle and is able to flee to steal two additional vehicles. Still at large. Betty White is correct source: pennlive.com \| share:	33

Thu March 25, 2021
		What does it take for a number 1 draft pick lineman to be out of the NFL in 1 year? Decision making like this source: usatoday.com \| share:	12
		King County Sheriff's Office to pay $5M for shooting death of Tommy Le, in yet another case that proves the value of cameras so long as Pamela Anderson isn't involved source: kiro7.com \| share:	33

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