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headlines found matching 'School'

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Mon February 06, 2023
		Would you like fries to go with that inane ending of a news article? source: newjersey.news12.com \| share:	30
		Was that wrong? Should we have not done that? I tell you we gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to us at all... What's that?... You told us in 2011 and again in 2018? source: nbcnews.com \| share:	236

Sun February 05, 2023
		Chief operating officer of Chicago Public Schools has his finger on the pulse of society and knows what folks want, so he becomes primary owner of cannabis shop co-located with bar and bakery source: pantagraph.com \| share:	12
		Active shooter report at basketball game has Mars students baricade in rooms. No Earth shattering Ka-booms reported source: pennlive.com \| share:	32
		Well that doorbell prank escalated quickly source: timesofmalta.com \| share:	75
		Early contender for 'Overreaction of the Year': Father upset that son paid £3.50 for eraser at school fundraiser. "We as a family, and a community, are disgusted" source: msn.com \| share:	57
		Early contender for 'Overreaction of the Year': Father upset that son paid £3.50 for eraser at school fundraiser. "We as a family, and a community, are disgusted" source: msn.com \| share:	57

Sat February 04, 2023
		Strange man walks into elementary school in Canada, offers students peanuts. Real peanuts. Now let's take a look south of the border. Oh my source: toronto.ctvnews.ca \| share:	49
		Governor Kim Reynolds (K-och) declares that if just ONE school bans ONE book because ONE person objected to it, then ALL schools in the state must ban it as well source: qctimes.com \| share:	146
		Trump: parents should have more say in schools. Like electing Principals or something source: mediaite.com \| share:	65
		Inspectors put Welsh school in special measures after finding children are speaking too much English, say more marbles are required in their mouths source: walesonline.co.uk \| share:	33

Fri February 03, 2023
(Some Guy)		Canada's only American college football team, Simon Fraser, to be dropped by NCAA D-II Lone Star Conference after 2023 season due to border crossing issues, dreadful record. Their road to relevance just got 10 yards longer source: 3downnation.com \| share:	12
		So I hear kids are getting their cousins high on crushed up Takis and bath salts and then convince them to go to school wearing only Fruit Roll-ups. They're calling it the "Walk of Fame" source: yahoo.com \| share:	35
		The cruelty is the point™ source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	181

Thu February 02, 2023
		...The Aristocrats source: fox59.com \| share:	18
		World's oldest brain discovered, full of stories about walking to school uphill both ways source: cnn.com \| share:	5
		Cool: Tennessee introduces bill to make Super Bowl Monday a state holiday. Mega Cool: by dumping Columbus Day source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	33
		Where does a promising young quarterback go when he loses his "commit" to a huge presence in college football because he used a racial slur? Where, oh where can he go? Who would - BY GOD, THAT'S FLORIDA TAG'S MUSIC source: pennlive.com \| share:	35
		Remember when you used to trace comics in grade school and passed them off as your own work in art class? This Roy Lichtenstein documentary remembered source: gizmodo.com \| share:	59

Wed February 01, 2023
		New York's Third Congressional District is seeing a surge in crime, according to one of the founding members of the Avengers source: mediaite.com \| share:	45
		Vermont middle school basketball - serious business source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	48
		High school musical in Ohio canceled over fears there might be some gay somewhere source: fox8.com \| share:	129
		Hostile takeover of Florida's colleges underway: "You called us racists, sexists, bigots, outsiders...We are now in a position of authority in the college. And the accusations are telling us that something is wrong here" source: politico.com \| share:	185

Tue January 31, 2023
		Ok, students. Here's today's math challenge: If our food service director buys $1.5 million worth of chicken wings, and our school system serves 1,600 students, how much did we spend per student for wings? Be sure to show your work source: wgntv.com \| share:	106
(Kveller)		High school librarian in Philadelphia forced to take down poster with Elie Wiesel quote, told policy is as clear as Night and Day source: kveller.com \| share:	165
		WY wants to help finance TX's vanity wall and immigrant-shipping, instead of something useful, like schools or road repairs. Subby too mad to snark source: wyomingnews.com \| share:	61
		Having solved all other problems in the state, the West Virginia Senate has time to pass bills forcing religion on kids in public schools. Moderate Christians shrug and go back to claiming how they are different from those extremists source: cbsnews.com \| share:	99
		Player coaches are an unusual phenomenon at any level of sport, but even more so at the girl's JV High School Basketball level, particularly when the coach is 22 source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	21
		Florida woman moved to Florida for lower taxes but bad schools, cheaper housing but higher insurance, less traffic but more drug trafficking, and fewer crowds but Disney source: businessinsider.com \| share:	80
		Basketball fan makes four baskets at a promotion at halftime including a half court shot to win $10,000. Not bad for a 7th grader source: kfyrtv.com \| share:	9
		Basketball fan makes four baskets at a promotion at halftime including a half court shot to win $10,000. Not bad for a 7th grader source: kfyrtv.com \| share:	9

Mon January 30, 2023
		The school principal who tried to investigate student sexting and wound up being charged with child pornography has been cleared source: coloradosun.com \| share:	44

Sun January 29, 2023
		I hate homeschooled Ohio Nazis source: vice.com \| share:	198
		French 'Robin Hood' energy strikers find a novel way to protest, give free power to schools, universities, and low-income homes throughout the country source: france24.com \| share:	45

Sat January 28, 2023
		Today I learned: Richard of York gave battle in vain is the British version of ROY G. Biv source: famadillo.com \| share:	14
		School board member states an obvious truth during meeting; MAGAt heads explode in fury source: foxnews.com \| share:	218
(Some Sonnet Slinger)		That flaky poetry nerd you dated in grad school was a CIA spook. Next up: Is the weekly Fark Writer's Thread a psyop honeypot? source: shirleyfreitas.com \| share:	16

Fri January 27, 2023
		No shiat? source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	51
		No shiat? source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	51
		Florida bests Virginia in youngest school kid to be caught packing source: local10.com \| share:	50
		Justice Dudebro upset law school rankings don't include partying source: cnn.com \| share:	49
(Some Guy)		Faxed bomb threats paralyze Japanese schools. One can imagine principals staring at the office fax machine, waiting for the ring, the beep and the plasticy printout containing the next fateful fax setting up the bomb source: wionews.com \| share:	44

Thu January 26, 2023
		School insists it has only wee bairns, no moggies source: thenational.scot \| share:	60
		Further evidence that Church Youth Leader is just another way of saying sex offender source: al.com \| share:	101
		UK Schoolgirl from quiet rural area stabbed in leg with prison shank made from a pair of scissors. Headmaster claims the incident has been blown out of all proportion by the media and the blood-splattered wall was like that when he got there source: kentonline.co.uk \| share:	57
		A MA middle school class won a contest to name their town's snowplow. They proved to have no creativity as it is not named Plowy McPlowface source: turnto10.com \| share:	29

Wed January 25, 2023
		The party of gov't accountability and against wasteful spending just wrote a blank check to Iowa private schools source: desmoinesregister.com \| share:	88
		North Dakota legislature takes time to address the pressing issues of the day: banning Xmen, cat girls and half-orcs from school source: nbcnews.com \| share:	131
		At least three teachers knew that the 6-year-old had a gun before he shot his teacher, but administrators would do nothing to help because "the school day was almost over" source: nbcnews.com \| share:	382

Tue January 24, 2023
		The Muppets of Sesame Street have a sad, Lloyd Morrisett, the co-creator of the show has died at the age of 93 source: nypost.com \| share:	9
		Many of you have asked if there is an algorithm for finding the shortest paths on negative graphs. Today we can report that an algorithm has been found using old-school techniques, you can go back to attempting to cure cancer or the common cold now source: quantamagazine.org \| share:	6
		"GPT is all you need for the backend." 1. See the tag 2. PHRASING source: github.com \| share:	18
		Student plays around with broadcast microphone at high school basketball halftime thinking it's turned off. Whoopsie source: nbcrightnow.com \| share:	65
		LSU's Angel Reese scored 14 points and grabbed 14 rebounds against Alabama, giving her 20 straight games with a double-double, breaking former All-American Sylvia Fowles' school record source: nola.com \| share:	2

Mon January 23, 2023
(Some Guy)		Florida threatens felony prosecution for classroom libraries source: popular.info \| share:	131
		Psychologists studied 40,000 couples and found the no. 1 phrase used in successful relationships. Surprisingly not "let's try butt stuff" source: cnbc.com \| share:	24
		Somehow the snow wasn't the whitest thing in New Hampshire this week source: wmur.com \| share:	32
		On this day in history, in 1941, Charles Lindbergh urged Congress to negotiate a neutrality pact with Hitler, proving that the ability to fly long distances solo does not qualify one in international politics source: history.com \| share:	51

Sun January 22, 2023
		Malpractice suit costs hospital two arms and two legs source: yahoo.com \| share:	51
		46 people arrested in connection with sex trafficking ring, including a high school football coach and a youth pastor. But please, tell us again how drag queens are the problem source: amp.star-telegram.com \| share:	144
		RIP - Marshall Tucker. The person, not the band source: savingcountrymusic.com \| share:	27
		Michigan's Jim Harbaugh tells the NCAA to go pound sand. It's a bold strategy, let's see if it pays off him him source: apnews.com \| share:	31

Sat January 21, 2023
		School cafeteria worker arrested after allegedly selling homemade goods source: uppermichiganssource.com \| share:	22

Fri January 20, 2023
		That's a fast lawyer-up. And I bet she gets some business out of it source: cbsnews.com \| share:	55
		Scotland's oldest person celebrates her 110th birthday by doing what no other Scot has ever done source: dailyrecord.co.uk \| share:	49
		Catholic high school counselor in trouble....oooh, I think I've seen this movie source: foxnews.com \| share:	102

Thu January 19, 2023
(Some Guy)		Dear Penthouse, I recently attended a school board meeting, and I never thought this could happen to me source: michiganadvance.com \| share:	60
		Constituent wants piece of Iowa's religious private school voucher grift pie, says he'll open Li'l Devils Academy source: onlysky.media \| share:	97
		Apparently not well enough source: nbcnews.com \| share:	132
		Boston College High School hockey coach placed on leave after DUI, immediately lined up for Bruins next booze bag coach source: msn.com \| share:	19
		School uses software intended to save money, ends up on Fark source: nbcnews.com \| share:	108
		An early and strong contender for 2023 Mom of the Year source: midhudsonnews.com \| share:	37
		DuhSantis bans AP class because it might make Floridians too smart source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	96

Wed January 18, 2023
		Secretary at a Louisiana public school resigns after sending a text message in which she asked a coach to remind students that they had [N-word] day lol mark Luther king" Day off. Members of the school community were shocked, but not that shocked source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	156

Tue January 17, 2023
		Thousands of electric school buses roll out in districts nationwide. These buses are said to be cleaner and quieter, but will likely be neither as long as junior high kids are riding them source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	65
(Some Guy)		DeSantis hopes to change shape of state college to churn out more Florida men and women source: newsnationnow.com \| share:	73
(Some Guy)		DeSantis hopes to change shape of state college to churn out more Florida men and women source: newsnationnow.com \| share:	73
		It is advisable to hamba if you stumble on a mamba. If you do not tshetsha you will expire on a stretcher source: msn.com \| share:	18
		LeBron James became the second NBA player ever to score two 45+ point-games at age 38 source: espn.com \| share:	3
		There was a time in Canada's history when instead of sending kids to school on a train, they sent the school to the kids on a train source: cbc.ca \| share:	22

Mon January 16, 2023
		Inebriated pickup truck driver gets in argument with outdoor dining patrons at Japanese restaurant, goes kamikaze on them. And since it's the Carolinas, customers also shot at him source: abc11.com \| share:	51
		All 48 seasons of Saturday Night Live ranked. Number one on the list should have been when you were in high school source: cracked.com \| share:	61

Sun January 15, 2023
		Congratulations hate-watchers, despite terrible reviews, dated racist humor and sexualized high schoolers, Velma has been renewed for another season source: screenrant.com \| share:	112
		Florida's special program to use veterans to fill thousands of Florida schools' teaching vacancies is a resounding success. Broward County alone is swamped with "a handful of applications" and the entire state has seen an incredible seven hires source: miaminewtimes.com \| share:	134
		Well, when I was a kid I had to walk miles through the snow to get to school. Then we'd sit on a stump to do our ciphering and reading. After looking for poison ivy and doing tick checks we were free to walk home source: nj.com \| share:	32
		Things you may find in a Tennessee high school: old math books, pencils, questionable cafeteria food, a hit list source: wbbjtv.com \| share:	30
		CSB Sunday Morning: high school hijinks source: fark.com \| share:	66
		George Santos: I've got an MBA from the NYU Stern School of Business. NYU: No, you don't source: yahoo.com \| share:	129

Sat January 14, 2023
		Remember how everyone had to upgrade their computers to better handle remote work and remote school? Guess what happened to PC sales now that most people already have newish hardware source: techcrunch.com \| share:	45
		Federal appeals court: it's perfectly OK for teachers to go about wearing symbols of hate in the classroom source: theguardian.com \| share:	150
		Plot loosens, slides downhill and destroys a house. School sued over a water leak installed just before the city took over, utility inspector takes early retirement source: kiro7.com \| share:	24

Fri January 13, 2023
		Meet the real-life Sheldon Cooper source: news5cleveland.com \| share:	32
		Jesse Watters goes swimming without his floaties source: mediaite.com \| share:	45
		State considers mandating cursive, communism history. Those cursive communists are invading our schools now. Something must be done source: wcax.com \| share:	304
		Hello? Mrs Calloway? This is your son's school. You need to pick him up at the hospital today. Yeah, he couldn't handle our punishment. Thank you source: dailyboulder.com \| share:	94
		That's the roughest-looking ex-teacher Subby has ever seen source: msn.com \| share:	42
		Teachers debating AI-generated essays. In my day, you reworded articles source: axios.com \| share:	13

Thu January 12, 2023
		Tornado marches to Selma source: cnn.com \| share:	67
		Ice can be stored in an ice bag, giving old school Farkers a brilliant idea on where to store their honk source: lifehacker.com \| share:	57
		George Santos' lies now require a running list for tracking purposes source: nbcnewyork.com \| share:	78
		Ohio school district communications director halts class reading of Dr. Seuss' "The Sneetches" when 3rd graders notice it's about equality and fairness source: wonkette.com \| share:	198
		"Our granddaughter can't keep a steady job and expects us to keep footing the bill but we don't want to anymore. How do we cut her off?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	13
		Former USC star running back Charles White heads off to the gridiron in the sky at age 64 source: espn.com \| share:	5

Wed January 11, 2023
		What songs bring up specific memories for you? LGT one that reminds me of my big brother driving me to school when I was in middle school, and we'd stop at 7-Eleven for donuts and hot cocoa. I wonder if she ever found her baby source: youtube.com \| share:	37
		Kevin Costner claims to miss Golden Globes because of storm. A storm that blew the invitation out of the hand of the mail carrier months ago source: ktla.com \| share:	27
		Cyberattack keeps Iowa's largest school district closed as authorities work feverishly to get both Kaypros back online source: techxplore.com \| share:	12
		Cyberattack keeps Iowa's largest school district closed as authorities work feverishly to get both Kaypros back online source: techxplore.com \| share:	12
		"I tracked down my daughter's teacher on social media and she's ignoring me. Why is that?" (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	22

Tue January 10, 2023
		Will somebody sit Rep Ashley Hinson down and show her that "I'm Just a Bill" episode of Schoolhouse Rock? source: twitter.com \| share:	126
		"Let's replace elections with lotteries," says expert who never had to read that Shirley Jackson story in high school English class source: bostonreview.net \| share:	108
		Private school suddenly closes over "family dispute" leaving working parents frustrated, angry, without adequate childcare. If only local governments provided educational services for kids at little to no cost source: local10.com \| share:	113
		Middle school art teacher arrested after his performance art project addressing the US opioid crisis got a bit out of hand source: cbsnews.com \| share:	34

Sun January 08, 2023
		Seattle's public school district sues tech giants for destroying kids' mental health by looking at them as wallets with pigtails source: npr.org \| share:	132
		"I hate my initials" source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	260

Sat January 07, 2023
		Under a new state law, students won't get in trouble for bringing cell phones to school as long as they are turned off and the student doesn't use them in class. Oh, did I say cell phones? Sorry, I meant handguns, the keys are right next to each other source: foxbaltimore.com \| share:	135
		Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it. Those who failed statistics in school are heading to the local store to splurge on lottery tickets source: cnn.com \| share:	175
		School bans teachers from using sarcasm in class, but as this is in the Daily Fail, everything we say will have to be taken seriously from now on source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	68

Fri January 06, 2023
		Old and busted: 6-year-old shot in school shooting. The new American-ness: 6-year-old is the school shooter source: wtkr.com \| share:	163
		School shooting blamed on the obvious cause, selling chicken to minors source: foxbaltimore.com \| share:	62
		Jim Harbaugh hates Pete Carroll so much that he copies Pete's every move. Except winning a championship source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	35
		"I'm cutting my daughter off the moment she graduates high school. That's not mean, is it?" source: slate.com \| share:	51

Thu January 05, 2023
		Coach Beard fired as "Ted Lasso" takes a dark turn source: espn.com \| share:	22
		"There'll be no diversity or inclusion in MY state." - Ron DeSantis, probably source: tampabay.com \| share:	76
		...and Georgetown basketball has hiat a new low source: espn.com \| share:	13
		Eight family members, five of them children, found dead from gunshots at house in Enoch, UT, as War of Domestic Violence continues unabated source: ksl.com \| share:	87
		Young Achievers Science and Math School fight club source: whdh.com \| share:	24
		"...in a world where data is everywhere and statistics underpin every job, our children's jobs will require more analytical skills than ever before." - UK PM Sunak. There WILL be math until age 18, kids source: theguardian.com \| share:	51

Wed January 04, 2023
		Old and busted: Snow days. New Hotness: Ransomware days source: wcvb.com \| share:	20
		Researchers at the AIDS Institute, Department of Microbiology, School of Clinical Medicine, and the State Key Laboratory of Emerging Infectious Diseases, LKS Faculty of Medicine of The University of Hong Kong agree - get your farking booster source: medicalxpress.com \| share:	9

Tue January 03, 2023
		Apple seems to have misplaced $1,000,000,000,000 in market cap. If anyone has seen it, please return it to the nearest Genius Bar source: cnbc.com \| share:	7
(Some Illinois Guy)		Finally, someone that can teach students how to make a good gravity bong source: wcia.com \| share:	33
		School coach leading kids in a Christian prayer? He's just exercising his first amendment rights. School coach joking about praying to teh debbil? Fire his ass source: onlysky.media \| share:	81
		Cop kills two people? Meh. Cop kills two white cheerleaders? Oh Dear, now you've done it source: msn.com \| share:	82

Mon January 02, 2023
		"At Fairhaven High, 'the most beautiful classroom' in America looks just like it did in 1906" which is really interesting because who knew they had flat panel HDTVs back then source: southcoasttoday.com \| share:	45
		Total cost of Covid school closures opposed by anti-vaxxers like the NYPost is $28 trillion. That seems totally believable source: nypost.com \| share:	64

Sun January 01, 2023
		Old School: Firefighters rescue cat from tree. California: Firefighters rescue teens from tree source: kcra.com \| share:	14
		Health officials urge locking the barn door after the horse has gone out to see the herd, done a little galloping, nibbled a spot a grass on the side of the road, and had a good roll on its back before returning to idle peacefully in its stall? source: abc7.com \| share:	29
		'Whack student's head against wall now and you'll get your house burnt down' - a look back at almost accepted extreme levels of corporal punishment in UK schools in the 80's. Bonus: Subby went to school with the article's author, in the same class source: kentonline.co.uk \| share:	75

Sat December 31, 2022
		"Illegal aliens" are coming for NC State announcer's job source: elpasotimes.com \| share:	23
		"This was a class of 13 to 14-year-olds. Surely they're old enough to know what a floppy disk is but no, apparently not" source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	305

Fri December 30, 2022
		Sarah Huckabee Sanders snags Florida education chancellor to 'transform' Arkansas education. Since he's from Florida, he will bring crayons source: floridapolitics.com \| share:	36
		Man convinces 19 strangers to help him break into a school and steal from school cafeteria, police thank man for his actions source: cnn.com \| share:	64

Thu December 29, 2022
		Michelle Obama is 100% honest about her marriage. Naturally, Republicans have a problem with this because they have never had multiple affairs, multiple divorces and always respect the sanctity of marriage source: nypost.com \| share:	116
		Bald British babes be ballers source: bbc.com \| share:	3

Wed December 28, 2022
		Former President Obama's List of Best Books and Movies of 2022; saw that one, not that, definitely not that one source: cnn.com \| share:	17

Mon December 26, 2022
(Some Guy)		Remember those puzzles you did in elementary school, where you moved one matchstick to make a whole new picture? The Ye 2024 presidential committee sure hopes you do source: ye2024store.com \| share:	206

Sun December 25, 2022
		Teens who snuck out of houses failed to make it to chosen destination of Waffle House source: fox5atlanta.com \| share:	41

Sat December 24, 2022
		As we all settle down for our long winter's nap this Christmas Eve, let's all take a moment to remember the Eggnog Riot of 1826 source: thetakeout.com \| share:	13
		That guy from the "Serial" podcast? There are some new developments source: cnn.com \| share:	52
		Radio is the theatre of the mind. You can't see anything. This old school radio man did a good job painting a word picture. BTW, Merry Christmas source: youtube.com \| share:	6

Fri December 23, 2022
		High school dropout Charlie Kirk gives a stern warning to the richest, most powerful men in America that he is going to purge them from the GOP source: mediaite.com \| share:	127
		So, tell me again how our schools are grooming children? These children certainly didn't learn this at school source: twitter.com \| share:	167

Thu December 22, 2022
		Construction starts on new middle school in Roswell, NM so local kids can learn science, technology without alien abductions source: krqe.com \| share:	13
		Construction starts on new middle school in Roswell, NM so local kids can learn science, technology without alien abductions source: krqe.com \| share:	13
		Winners and losers of college football early signing period. Still losers are the pasty dudes complaining about an 18-year-old not going to a school that they didn't go to either source: cbssports.com \| share:	11

Wed December 21, 2022
		Look officer, I downed a bottle of MD2020 between here and school, the kids were never in trouble source: cleveland19.com \| share:	39
		Police arrest a teen near Ferris High School for possessing a knife, singing "Twist and Shout" too loudly, and being absent 9 times source: nj.com \| share:	23
		Texas House of Representatives passes bill that prohibits schools from engaging in "the endorsement or dissuasion of, or interference with, any lifestyle, race, sex, religion, or culture." leaving teachers unable to, well, teach source: boingboing.net \| share:	112
		Mom help someone is cyberbullying me source: people.com \| share:	71
		DeathSentence holds a "Freedom Blueprint" training session for newly elected conservative school board members. Because nothing says "freedom" like being indoctrinated, especially into being an anti-science book-banning neofascist source: politico.com \| share:	43

Tue December 20, 2022
		Rescue one abducted child, get one free source: wral.com \| share:	15

Mon December 19, 2022
		How Colby-Sawyer College, a small private school in New Hampshire, was able to cut its tuition for undergrads by 62 percent. TL;DR: It didn't actually do any such thing, but saying so works well as a marketing ploy source: slate.com \| share:	24
(Some Guy)		Deion Sanders' move to Colorado State is a rousing success, a triumph for the ages, and a bellwether for national relevance. And by that, we mean sources close to the program call it "a huge mess" source: clutchpoints.com \| share:	16
		Spanish lawmakers working on "menstrual leave" legislation. Don't expect anything similar here in US as public school students, prisoners struggle for menstrual care products source: france24.com \| share:	31

Sun December 18, 2022
		Flush from their success in legislating away parents' rights to manage their children's healthcare, states now move upon latest imaginary crisis: holiday schedules for divorced families source: ksl.com \| share:	46
		Schoolgirls report classmate's Instagram "hitlist" to school. Said student threatens to "take out" schoolgirls without dinner, movie. School calls his mom over disciplinary action. Mom informs them she's 'blowing up' the school. The Aristocrats source: fox2detroit.com \| share:	66

Sat December 17, 2022
		NCAA grants Oregon's Cam McCormick a ninth year of eligibility. Even Blutarsky thinks that's a bit excessive source: si.com \| share:	17
		School partially closed, Christmas concert canceled due to vermin infestation. Rats source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	21
		I am so sick and tired of news articles of missing people who miraculously turn up safe and healthy without any explanation as to their disappearance. This happens weekly in my area source: nbcnews.com \| share:	52
		Nagasaki assemblyman apologizes for doing chin-ups on train while drunk from his high school class reunion. "I'd like to contemplate my next course of action after consulting the relevant people" source: mainichi.jp \| share:	38

Fri December 16, 2022
		Partially clothed men dressed as elves, alcohol, a high school choir, and a dirty Santa... you sure know how to party for a school board member source: ktvu.com \| share:	34
		Let's take a look at how DeathSentance's military-teacher program is doing. 7 whole hires? Yup, that's about right source: yahoo.com \| share:	48

Thu December 15, 2022
		Missouri school district votes to approve a 4-day school week by extending the school day 35 minutes. Subby would take that tradeoff immediately, too if work offered it source: nbcconnecticut.com \| share:	70
		Russia says U.S. air defense systems in Ukraine could be legitimate military targets, as opposed to schools, hospitals, and electric grids which are definitely legitimate military targets source: apnews.com \| share:	57
		HBO Max actually renews a popular TV show source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	35

Wed December 14, 2022
		Oooh goody, it's the return of the silent majority nonsense again. Well, I guess when you've run out of fuel, relying on your greatest hits is all ya got source: thehill.com \| share:	95
		"I remember back in '22 when the Grinch gave me an onion for speeding though a school zone. I immediately put it on my belt, (which was the style at the time)." "Sure you did Grandpa, let's get you back to bed" source: cbsnews.com \| share:	17
		We need more workers, so let's get those 14-year-olds to work late on school nights source: dispatch.com \| share:	36
		It's like "Groundhog Day" in Punxsutawney, except the high school principal keeps getting arrested source: wjactv.com \| share:	21

Tue December 13, 2022
		Old school computer viruses are back, not ransomware, data wipers source: arstechnica.com \| share:	19
		School district puts afterschool satan club on hold after hearing how much fun a federal lawsuit can provide source: 13newsnow.com \| share:	140
		Twins win $1.5M lawsuit after medical school accuses them of copying from one another source: cbsnews.com \| share:	64
		Twins win $1.5M lawsuit after medical school accuses them of copying from one another source: people.com \| share:	23

Mon December 12, 2022
		Richmond, Virginia removes their last public Confederate statue, suggesting that the South has decided to put off rising again for another year source: aol.com \| share:	21
		Hunter butchers deer in front of school in bid to get people talking about something other than his laptop source: ftw.usatoday.com \| share:	72
		Top law schools have begun to snub U.S. News rankings. In related news, U.S. News used to be a news magazine that had, until recently, survived solely on bribes from top schools for rankings and their OnlyFans account source: msn.com \| share:	7
		If you voted Republican because you hoped a GOP House majority would help you with your food and heating bill, the opioid crisis in your hometown, or the status of your kids in school, I have bad news for you... predictable, but bad source: mediaite.com \| share:	106
		Subby's hometown newspaper sold to a corp a couple years back, this is now what happens in the obits source: dodgeglobe.com \| share:	89
		War On Christmas gets underway as shotgun-wielding guy threatens to parum pum pum pum middle school drumline at holiday parade source: wral.com \| share:	38
		Tourism Tourism Tourism source: wcax.com \| share:	18
		Tourism Tourism Tourism source: wcax.com \| share:	18

Sun December 11, 2022
		Navy football coach thrown overboard source: espn.com \| share:	13
		An armed middle school is a polite middle school source: foxnews.com \| share:	76
		An armed middle school is a polite middle school source: foxnews.com \| share:	76
		Those of you on the 5 (or 6)-year college plan shouldn't feel so bad now source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	59
		Those of you on the 5 (or 6)-year college plan shouldn't feel so bad now source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	59

Sat December 10, 2022
(Some Guy)		Iowa school district decides to teach kids a lesson on Rosa Parks via immersive learning. Lawyers preparing to teach Iowa school district lesson on check writing source: iowacapitaldispatch.com \| share:	68
		It is the 123rd meeting of the Army-Navy game. Can Navy sail to victory? Or will it be Army marching to a win? The game is in Philadelphia and kickoff is at 3:00 PM ET on CBS source: espn.com \| share:	48
		Now we know why so many school districts just add a few more doublewides to their existing schools and call it day source: chattanoogan.com \| share:	79
		In tribute to the passing of George Newall, here's a retrospective of his greatest creation, Schoolhouse Rock source: arstechnica.com \| share:	13
		If you like passing stopped school buses, technology is coming for you source: pennlive.com \| share:	50

Fri December 09, 2022
		Division III Grinnell College in Iowa took 111 shots in their basketball game on Thursday. All of them were 3-pointers source: si.com \| share:	17
(Some Guy)		The California Department of Transportation is looking for a name for their new Mascot (a humanoid orange cone) and is asking kids 5-18 for names with prizes available. Coney McConehead may not get it done but better suggestions to the right source: gosafelyca.org \| share:	138
		Wisconsin middle school closed for A. covid B. snowstorm C. infestation of yellow sac spiders source: fox11online.com \| share:	39
		Teacher disrupts prayer, assaults Islamic students because... Jesus source: local10.com \| share:	193
		Teacher disrupts prayer, assaults Islamic students because... Jesus source: local10.com \| share:	193
		Members of British Parliament take school exam, demonstrate that they are not, in fact, smarter than a 5th grader. Test the US Congress next, please source: theguardian.com \| share:	23

Thu December 08, 2022
		Not satisfied with hanging back during school shootings, cops are now making teachers do bomb sweeps after threats source: kptv.com \| share:	28
		If you didn't want to be sued for marketing an addictive product towards children, maybe you shouldn't have sold Joe Camel skins source: cbc.ca \| share:	21
(Some Guy)		Some of these school exercises sure do seem different than when Subby was a kid source: sidneydailynews.com \| share:	55

Wed December 07, 2022
		Arkansas town elects 18-year-old mayor. Plans to boost the town economy with a massive indoor Winter sports complex called "Ice Town" still up in the air source: cnn.com \| share:	48
		Another day, another group of middle school students OD on cannabis at school source: ktla.com \| share:	84
		The kids who survived Sandy Hook are now teens. How are they handling things? source: greenwichtime.com \| share:	71

Tue December 06, 2022
		Scottsdale Police: emergency school lockdowns last week were actually because of AC/DC source: azfamily.com \| share:	21

Mon December 05, 2022
		Parents and school that allowed after-school Christian club upset that they now have to allow an after-school Satan club to meet to discuss skepticism and how easy it is to totally piss off the kind of people who create an after-school Christian club source: deadstate.org \| share:	121
		Parents and school that allowed after-school Christian club upset that they now have to allow an after-school Satan club to meet to discuss skepticism and how easy it is to totally piss off the kind of people who create an after-school Christian club source: deadstate.org \| share:	121

Sun December 04, 2022
		The Minneapolis Miracle now has a high school version source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	13
		State Rep. Cletus (Two-Tooth) Slackjaw and his cohorts in the Oklahoma legislature pass a law eliminating the requirement public school teachers have a college degree. OK Superintendent's reaction: OMG source: enidnews.com \| share:	185
		"My son decided to protest a terrible school tradition. But, he did it completely wrong and it backfired. What do?" source: slate.com \| share:	37
		Officials question security protocols, Indiana Jones fandom after man brings gun to Sword Game source: masslive.com \| share:	15
		Colorado Buffaloes looking to get back into Prime Time source: espn.com \| share:	44

Sat December 03, 2022
		Identical Identical twins twins win win lawsuit lawsuit against against medical medical school school accusing accusing them them of of cheating cheating source: insider.com \| share:	90

Fri December 02, 2022
		COVID caused teens' brains to transform into a state that can only text and roll eyes source: cnn.com \| share:	7
		Can you stop your kid from being "that" kid? source: slate.com \| share:	36
		Can you stop your kid from being "that" kid? source: slate.com \| share:	36
		Middle-school kids eat some cannabis edibles. Extreme panic ensues. In Los Angeles source: cbsnews.com \| share:	41

Thu December 01, 2022
		Q: How many parents does it take to get all 3000 graphic novels removed from a school library? A: One source: vice.com \| share:	202
		In case you were not convinced that the Right is anti-youth, now they want to beat your kids. Bonus pick of Delores Umbridge in the background source: clickorlando.com \| share:	158
		Science experiment ends up allowing students to get out of school early source: ksl.com \| share:	47
		Uvalde survivors to the "police" who allowed the slaughter: How's $27 billion sound to you? source: cnn.com \| share:	206
		Uvalde survivors to the "police" who allowed the slaughter: How's $27 billion sound to you? source: cnn.com \| share:	206
		Florida sheriff says kids are too soft these days, need to go back to the old days where kids literally needed to fear they're going to have the cheeks of their ass torn off for not doing right in class source: local10.com \| share:	135
		More and more people are starting to understand that "college rankings" are and always have been every bit as much bullshiat as what it costs to go to college in the first place source: slate.com \| share:	13
		More and more people are starting to understand that "college rankings" are and always have been every bit as much bullshiat as what it costs to go to college in the first place source: slate.com \| share:	13
		UK tabloids 'unable to find any teachers who aren't on OnlyFans,' say reports (possible nsfw content on page) source: dailystar.co.uk \| share:	72
		UK tabloids 'unable to find any teachers who aren't on OnlyFans,' say reports (possible nsfw content on page) source: dailystar.co.uk \| share:	72

Wed November 30, 2022
		Howard Stern slams Oprah Winfrey for lack of self-awareness about her wealth source: insider.com \| share:	38
(Some Guy)		Subby just accidentally won a guitar signed by Train at a silent auction benefitting a local music school. What's the weirdest thing you've gotten at an auction? source: savemesanfrancisco.com \| share:	38

Tue November 29, 2022
		Is dark matter's "nightmare scenario" actually true? And is the nightmare going to work naked or not being able to find its high school math class source: bigthink.com \| share:	26
		Russian colonel commits "self execution" by shooting himself 5 times, demonstrating the fine marksmanship skills that his military is known for source: yahoo.com \| share:	61

Mon November 28, 2022
		Houston shuts down schools over boil order. Ted Cruz seen shopping for airline tickets source: cnn.com \| share:	49
		Nothing says "freedom" like your mom spending $300 a day to have you deprogrammed by a tennis coach for having feminist ideas source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	84
		How many of you Farkers hunt? What do you hunt for and how successful are you usually? source: fark.com \| share:	36

Sun November 27, 2022
		Hope Fark filter doesn't eat headline: When Morty comes home from school sick, he and Rick seek a cure found only in a small civilization in Rick's urine. Haters gonna hate on Rick & Morty S.№6 Ep.№8 "Analyze Piss" at 11 ㏘ EDT on Cartoon Network source: imdb.com \| share:	14
		Japan is cleaning up at the World Cup source: apnews.com \| share:	8
		Taggart fired after a 5-7 season at Florida Atlantic. Now he's going to need a shiatload of dimes source: espn.com \| share:	10

Sat November 26, 2022
		Oregon school board takes meetings online to get away from angry parents source: oregonlive.com \| share:	70

Fri November 25, 2022
		"They came in the room and said, 'Does anybody know German?' and nobody raised their hand, so I put my hand up and said, 'I had two years in high school.'" source: wtae.com \| share:	35

Thu November 24, 2022
		Drag shows are grooming kids for immoral purposes, argues the founder of the Liberty Action Coalition, who resigned from her teaching job after having inappropriate relationships with middle school students source: sltrib.com \| share:	147
(Some Guy)		Seriously America, there is never a good reason to encourage kids to yell out the n-word. That means you, Floriduh teacher-lady source: hip-hopvibe.com \| share:	87
(Some Guy)		Seriously America, there is never a good reason to encourage kids to yell out the n-word. That means you, Floriduh teacher-lady source: hip-hopvibe.com \| share:	87

Wed November 23, 2022
		In today's "there may be hope for Florida yet" news, mother of Parkland shooting victim ousts DeSantis appointee from school board source: salon.com \| share:	45
		So you're a school administrator investigating sexting between students? Congrats, you're now facing jail time for possessing child pornography and your career is shot source: coloradosun.com \| share:	127
		Lane Kiffin assures his players he hasn't accepted another coaching job...yet source: espn.com \| share:	7

Mon November 21, 2022
		Manly Aussie students injured in school, not outback source: bbc.com \| share:	9

Sun November 20, 2022
		Idiot runs on field during college football game. Security guard takes it personally with an old-school decleating source: twitter.com \| share:	42
		It is Name Your PC Day. Subby named his Chilly Willy because it freezes up often source: nationaltoday.com \| share:	132
		Thanks for coming to career day, Mr. Treviño. Next up is Skyler's dad and he does data entry for Wells Fargo source: foxnews.com \| share:	4

Sat November 19, 2022
		'After School Satan Club' causes a stir at California elementary school. Ya think? source: sfgate.com \| share:	136
		Lone wolf arrested after stalking the leader of the Pack source: espn.com \| share:	4
		Did anyone else feel a great disturbance? As if dozens of for profit schools and one DeVos cried out in fury? source: npr.org \| share:	70
		Niceville man arrested for not being nice after shooting two school buses full of daycare children with gel pellets because he was "just playing with the little kids" source: weartv.com \| share:	32
		Farking magnets, how do they taste? source: newscentermaine.com \| share:	38

Fri November 18, 2022
		Hey kids, if your school bus driver pulls over to lecture you about being unruly, be sure not to call 911 with false accusations source: whio.com \| share:	53
(Some Guy)		These 25 old school hobbies are back in style, because some people want to make their own cheese that badly source: talker.news \| share:	37

Thu November 17, 2022
		The new Toyota Prius no longer looks like it was created by the Mr. Magoo School of Automotive Design. Interesting tag beats out Cool tag by a bumper source: theverge.com \| share:	37
		How's this for a law school ranking: how many of your graduates are charged/convicted in relation to Jan 6? source: cnn.com \| share:	34
		VA gets land donation specifically to house homeless veterans. Do they: A: Build housing, B: Do literally anything to benefit veterans, or C: Let a private school build a sportsball field there source: cnn.com \| share:	66
		Indiana cop visits school to teach kids how to be police officers -- then shoots one of them. Well at least he was being honest source: wthitv.com \| share:	190
		Nothing is more American than going to a football game, eating hotdogs and running away from a shooting (with SFW video) source: wral.com \| share:	30
(Some Uneducated Guy)		Blue Man Group's NYC private school closing after headcount goes in the red source: thedailycable.co \| share:	9
		Female elementary and middle school teachers sure do marry a lot of guys source: businessinsider.com \| share:	20
		HBCU Talladega College women's volleyball team quits conference tournament after team member receives "racially motivated picture" on cellphone during awards banquet. Way to go again, Alabama source: al.com \| share:	19

Wed November 16, 2022
		Joe Welsh wants to end the school to prison pipeline, no word on Don Henley's opinion source: lehighvalleylive.com \| share:	23
		Here are the 100 must-read books of the year source: time.com \| share:	28
		Uvalde mayor vows senior coward who knew children needed rescuing from Robb Elementary will be gone 'by the end of this week' source: cnn.com \| share:	59

Tue November 15, 2022
		10 high schools. All within 1 hour of each other. Same morning. Parents, police, and kids all sent scrambling. Tag is for the "untraceable" caller who left detailed reports claiming casualties up and down the Maine coast today source: pressherald.com \| share:	146
		The good news is, they are passing their business class with flying colors source: wndu.com \| share:	20
		White supremacist Texas middle school teacher fired. One down, another 30000 to go source: nbcnews.com \| share:	164

Mon November 14, 2022
		Indiana legislature: We're gonna chip away at public schools by taking their $$ to support private schools. And when they have to close buildings because of falling enrollment, force them to sell the buildings for $1. Judges: OK by us source: nwitimes.com \| share:	187

Sun November 13, 2022
		The Merriam-Webster word of the day for November 13 is crucible, as in When Texas is freezing without power, Cancun becomes crucible source: merriam-webster.com \| share:	6
		Regrets, I've had a few... Specifically these ten careers source: cnbc.com \| share:	104
		Day 263 of WW3: UK defense ministry: Military training program for Russian schools to be drafted by end of 2022. Is this a doomed effort, or will conscripting students Make Russia Great Again? It's your Sunday Ukraine war discussion source: kyivindependent.com \| share:	467

Sat November 12, 2022
		They're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future source: ktla.com \| share:	91

Fri November 11, 2022
		School shootings are prompting California, in a rare display of common sense, to close the barn door before the horse escapes source: kcra.com \| share:	80
		Husband and wife who were Lake Havasu City grade-school teachers fired for also providing sex ed via distance learning source: abc15.com \| share:	68
		Husband and wife who were Lake Havasu City grade-school teachers fired for also providing sex ed via distance learning source: abc15.com \| share:	68
		Things not to say to a grieving friend include: "At least he died doing what he loved", "Let me know if there's anything I can do", and "Can I have his Pokémon card Collection"? source: psychologytoday.com \| share:	45
		Schoolgirl born on 11/11/11 at 11.11am in hospital room 11 goes to ELEVENTY while celebrating 11th birthday source: thescottishsun.co.uk \| share:	53

Thu November 10, 2022
(Some Guy)		Is NIL destroying college sports? And if so, isn't that really the point? source: tide1009.com \| share:	42

Wed November 09, 2022
		You're not a real American unless you dip your cinnamon rolls in chili source: eater.com \| share:	47
		Old news: scams by alleged Nigerian "princesses." New hotness: scams by actual Norwegian princess source: bbc.com \| share:	41

Tue November 08, 2022
		If you're managing minimum-wage workers in retail or whatever and still haven't learned these seven common-sense ways to make their lives better (and probably make them better workers too), would hearing it from a top-6 business school help? source: mitsloan.mit.edu \| share:	39
		Found On Road Defeated source: cbc.ca \| share:	22
		Found On Road Defeated source: cbc.ca \| share:	22
		Now here's a guy that was on top of the world coaching the Raiders. Now he's just a football guy begging to be the coach at South Florida source: thespun.com \| share:	23

Mon November 07, 2022
(Some Guy)		30 pounds of mortadella, 60 pounds of capicola, 30 pounds of provolone, 75 pounds of Genoa salami and 200 feet of bread? Shoot, a thousand school employees could have a pretty good lunch in Arlington MA with all that stuff source: yourarlington.com \| share:	7
		Business school professors analyzed Elon Musk's first week running Twitter, call it "a case study of failed leadership" source: businessinsider.com \| share:	54
		Tomorrow on Fark: "That is not who I am" source: nypost.com \| share:	151
		Bad: You have to retake the SAT. Fark: Because your answer sheet flew off a UPS truck source: cnn.com \| share:	39

Sun November 06, 2022
		Mama Grizzly suggests that polar bears care more about their cubs than black bears care for theirs source: alternet.org \| share:	155
		Well, there it is: the stupidest advice subby'll read all day source: cnbc.com \| share:	162

Sat November 05, 2022
		Ron DeSantis, heretic source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com \| share:	150
		Parents upset by 40-year-old man who wanted to go back to high school source: 6abc.com \| share:	76
		Bulletproof school furniture. Sweet Jebus Tapdancing Christ source: ksdk.com \| share:	98

Fri November 04, 2022
		Tennessee looks to become the newest red state that requires fewer credentials for teaching than they do for attaching fake nails source: fox13memphis.com \| share:	50
		It's kinda like in middle school when you widened the margins and used a larger font to get more pages into your report, except in this case the children are GOP members of the House Judiciary Committee source: twitter.com \| share:	63

Thu November 03, 2022
		Virginia Gov Glenn Youngkin set up a hotline for parents of Virginia schoolkids to report teaching of "critical race theory." Virginia parents prove they DGAF about CRT and use the hotline to share concerns about ACTUAL issues in Virginia schools source: msn.com \| share:	67
		The litter box in schools story? Joe Rogan admits he made it up source: mediaite.com \| share:	285
		The litter box in schools story? Joe Rogan admits he made it up source: mediaite.com \| share:	285

Wed November 02, 2022
		Kansas has investigated its Self and found he did something wrong source: nbcnews.com \| share:	9
		X-rated Halloween display in Ohio, y'all source: fox8.com \| share:	66
		Woman in Florida goes up to front porch while trick or treating and then...oh my source: wfla.com \| share:	179

Mon October 31, 2022
		Nebraska fires their coach. Oh wait, it was Auburn this time source: espn.com \| share:	5
		In 2005, Sen. Joe Biden voted for a bankruptcy bill that made it nearly impossible to discharge student loans in bankruptcy. Today, he takes a gigantic step towards redeeming himself source: cnbc.com \| share:	206
		Florida anti-semites yet to understand what a swastika looks like source: local10.com \| share:	112

Sun October 30, 2022
		"My child won't stop eating remote controls and chewing on walls." That's not a child; that's the man from Mars Blondie and Fab Five Freddie warned us about source: metro.co.uk \| share:	54
		Man drops pistol on the ground during a middle school flag football game, then discharges a round as he picks it up. Cops penalize him for reckless endangerment and a loss of concealed carry on the play source: kdvr.com \| share:	87
		Not News: Driver gets a DUI. News: after driving into a ditch with a bus load of school children. Fark: but won't lose his license. WTF: because it was already revoked source: wtop.com \| share:	28

Sat October 29, 2022
		St. Louis school shooter failed federal background check. How was he able to get and keep his guns? MO has the Second Amendment Preservation Act, which claims state law supersedes federal law on issues of gun ownership source: kpvi.com \| share:	113
		Don't Say Gay bills make it impossible for teachers to do their jobs source: slate.com \| share:	86
		Middle school teacher arrested for walking around condo complex with pants pulled down to his ankles, then completely naked while rubbing his genitals on stair railing. When asked why he was naked, he replied, "I cannot explain it" source: wfla.com \| share:	79

Fri October 28, 2022
		You know you're farked when source: al.com \| share:	43
		Not News: Another US high school closes amid widespread sickness. News: Most are confirmed COVID this time. FARK: School Board votes to go full pro-"choice" due to news of outbreak. Not that pro-choice. The plague rat one source: wmtw.com \| share:	74
		Much more fun than having to press up to jump it's the Friday Fark Gaming Thread. LGT Saturnalia and Warhammer 40K: Mechanicus free at Epic. What have you been playing this week? Persona 5 Royal? Coral Island? Side note: favourite old-school RPGs? source: store.epicgames.com \| share:	175

Thu October 27, 2022
(Some Guy)		Not News: 8 HS football players suspended after an altercation at a football game. Fark: 8 high school football COACHES suspended after an altercation at a game source: news.scorebooklive.com \| share:	5
		Michigan GOP Governor candidate: "We should ban pornography from school libraries. And by pornography, I mean books that feature divorced characters" source: heartlandsignal.com \| share:	118
(Some Guy)		Montana high school football team makes state playoffs and must travel 529 miles to face its first opponent--which means they'd have a shorter road trip if they were playing a school in Denver or Minnesota source: montanasports.com \| share:	14