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headlines found matching 'S&P'
Thu October 14, 2021
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
GitLab codes its IPO at $77
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(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Morgan Stanley is the latest megabank to join the "Fark you, we got paid" parade
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 12, 2021
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Apparently Fox Business thinks that if you say "Stagflation" in front of a mirror enough times, Nixon's ghost will appear and start its rampage to secure the robot vote
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Sat October 09, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
Facebook to ban the sale of plots of land in the Amazon rain forest. Spreading lies about Covid, 2020 election and planing domestic terrorism is still OK
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Wed October 06, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
Don't worry, the stock market isn't going to crash in October. Maybe. We hope. I mean, sure, it could crash, I guess anything's possible. I mean, what's the line between "could" and "will?" So, OK, it'll crash. It's gonna crash. Feel better?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 05, 2021
(News and Guts)
 
 
 
Forbes 400 moves Trump to 404: wealth not found
source: newsandguts.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Trump falls off Forbes 400 list of richest Americans, due in large part to his refusal to comply with normal Presidential ethics requests
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Mon October 04, 2021
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Stock Markets plummet on news that interest rates are not actually controlled by the Federal Reserve and the party is over
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Having lost the hotel market, USA Today parent Gannett is offering $400mil of five-year high-yield multi-colored pictographed bonds
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Wed September 29, 2021
(MSN)
 
 
 
Dollar Tree ups its share buyback program to $2.5 billion, or about tree-fiddy in real value
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Tue September 28, 2021
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Activision agrees to pay harassment victims in face of lawsuit. But they're still have to buy the right lootboxes to collect
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Tue September 21, 2021
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Here at CNBC we understand that you are busy people looking for answers. So, here's an article explaining how you have less money in your retirement account as stock prices fall into the toilet
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Well, it's the third Tuesday in the 5th odd-numbered month of the year, so Bitcoin is falling, of course. INVEST FAST BEFORE IT STARTS TO GO UP AGAIN
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Wed September 15, 2021
(MSN)
 
 
 
Weber stock back to IPO level and rising, execs endorse "low and slow"
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Tue September 14, 2021
(Axios)
 
 
 
I could barely notice the difference between them and real chicken nuggets - especially when doused in dipping sauces
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Mon September 13, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
Fox buys TMZ, seeking to improve the quality of its programming
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Fri September 10, 2021
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Looks like everybody's going Krogering
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 02, 2021
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
MasterCraft sales triple to a record, meaning sooooo many more drunk unqualified asshats towing boats and on the water in playing crappy music that can be heard 1/2 mile away
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Wed September 01, 2021
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Soup is good food but Campbell's is good stock. The two may or may not be related
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Tue August 31, 2021
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
SEC might tell Robinhood to PFOF off
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(CNBC)
 
 
 
S&P 500 looks to wrap up seventh straight month of gains at record highs. Hey, remember when TFG said the markets would crash if Biden got elected?
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 30, 2021
(MSN)
 
 
 
Loose-fitting jeans are helping Levis even though they apparently still can't find room to squeeze the quality back in
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Fri August 27, 2021
(MSN)
 
 
 
The simple tricks an investor used to turn $70,000 into $264 million. You'll never guess what's not included in the article
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Well that's slightly better than the hot cocoa sampler box subby got for his annual bonus
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 26, 2021
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Oshkosh's CEO doesn't expect to take time off during cancer treatment, b'gosh
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Tue August 24, 2021
(CNBC)
 
 
 
*Church Lady voice* "Could it beeeee, oh, I don't knowwww, PUTIN???"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 23, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
Wall St. FOMO: Investors are afraid they will miss out on FOMO years of growth
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(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
If you ever wanted to get into a Space Virgin, here's your chance
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Wed August 18, 2021
(MSN)
 
 
 
Target is the latest retailer to beat numbers and see its stock drop looking forward. Subby's sensing a wave here
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Tue August 17, 2021
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
America's defense contractors: I see this as an absolute win
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Mon August 16, 2021
(MSN)
 
 
 
Those of you with T-Mobile may not be alone
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Wed August 11, 2021
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Market corrextion is overdub. Headline cokkection as well
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(CNBC)
 
 
 
Inflation report lowers forecast of Fark inflation headlines
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Tue August 03, 2021
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Translation: we're keeping our prices high, so deal with it
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Mon August 02, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
Officer Fanone high roads Laura Ingraham. It wasn't hard, considering she's on the highway to Hell
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(CNN)
 
 
 
"The only difference between Jim Jones and Donald Trump is the fact that now we have social media," says Rep. Jackie Speier, who was shot five times at Jonestown in 1978
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Fri July 30, 2021
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Thoughts and prayers for Jeff Bezos. He may only earn millions instead of billions today
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 29, 2021
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Tempur Sealy stock up as everyone begins replacing the mattresses they wore out in the past 18 or so months
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Wed July 28, 2021
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
GameStop, a bankrupt hellscape that sells overpriced used games and Popko dolls to an avg 3 customers per store will be entering the S&P 400 because why the hell not?
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Mon July 19, 2021
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Dish reaches network-services agreement with AT&T to continue sucking, also possibly service
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Wed July 14, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
On the downside, the CEO-median employee pay grew in 2020. On the upside, CEOs still don't make 300X their median employee wages yet
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Wed June 30, 2021
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Moderna's stock hits record price on Tuesday on news it's not J&J or AZ
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Tue June 29, 2021
(PBS)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but it sort of looks like a Florida-based lead factory and smelter has not been entirely operating up to federal regulatory standards
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(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Scientific Games bets on its future without gambling
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Sun June 27, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
Engineer sets Guinness World Record for tallest stack of M&Ms. Fark: at a whopping five M&Ms
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Thu June 24, 2021
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Let's see... first quarter growth at 6.4 percent. NASDAQ and S&P at record highs... Gosh, Trump's prediction that Biden would send us into an economic tailspin doesn't seem to be panning out. 🤔
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Wed June 23, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
Which billionaire will be the first to be blowed up in space, blowed up real good
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Tue June 22, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
The twenty year old Toyota Supra that Paul Walker drove in the first two "Fast & Furious" movies was auctioned off for $550,000
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Odelay
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(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Philip Morris tells NYC it's just stepping out for a pack of smokes, never to return
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Mon June 21, 2021
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Dow: "BOOOOIIIINNNNNG"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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