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headlines found matching 'Report'
Fri November 27, 2020
(The Register)
 
 
 
"The emailed report was festooned with the abbreviation for cubic metres. Positively spattered with it"
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 25, 2020
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Consumer Reports' top rated driving assistant isn't Tesla's Autopilot or GM's lidar and mapped SuperCruise, it's the aftermarket $1K Comma AI from PS3 cracker George Hotz. Fark: on a $20K Toyota Corolla
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
White House reporter on Trump's 64-second press conference: "Well, that was weird as sh*t,"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 24, 2020
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Legal Strike Force Update: Sidney Powell is out, OAN reporter is in... Next week: OAN reporter is out, Walter Sobchak is in
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 23, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
It's never a good sign when legal experts are asked to comment on your legal strategy and they use adjectives like "bizarre" and "weak," or reporters have to ad "[sic]" when quoting your filings
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Professor claims to have found Jesus' childhood home in Nazareth. The "Jesuz was 'ere" message scratched into the wall was reportedly what convinced him (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 22, 2020
(WHYY)
 
 
 
1000 hospitals across the US report critical staff shortages. North Dakota is looking particularly farked
source: whyy.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 20, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump campaign submits blizzard of voter fraud "evidence" that nobody could possibly keep track of..... Reporter: I can
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Because a new Congress and President will convene in January, the Supreme Court has granted a request to cancel oral arguments next month over Cadet Bone Spur trying to keep Congress from seeing material that was withheld from Robert Mueller's report
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 19, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
In hard-hitting reporting that would make Ric Romero blush, The New York times concludes that the states that imposed the fewest restrictions now are suffering the worst outbreaks
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 17, 2020
(Percolately)
 
 
 
You're a news reporter, working a developing story, when the road behind you starts to collapse. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?
source: percolately.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 16, 2020
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Reports allege that the NSA spied on the Danish defense industry, possibly in hopes of influencing business decisions or learning how to better defend US doughnuts
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
With 48 out of 159 counties reporting final results, it appears that the Georgia recount will result in a HUGE change in the results. HUGE I tell you
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
People who play video games for long stretches report feeling happier than average, according to study commissioned by subby's elementary-aged children
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 13, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
All seven planets will be viewable in the sky this week. While Mercury, Venus, Mars, Saturn and Jupiter should be easy to find, locating Uranus will reportedly be challenging
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Chinese President Xi personally halted $37bn Ant IPO, reports say, although insiders suggest the ants will go marching on
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump's campaign gave up on have a phone line to report voter fraud. Now you can message them in a convenient online form
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
War crimes feared in Ethiopia's Tigray, Amnesty International reports massacre in spite of Prime Minister Abiy saying "ixnay on the Tigray" over and over
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Not News: Eminem interviewed by Secret Service over anti Trump and Ivanka lyrics in 2018. News: He rapped along as agents read him the lyrics. Fark: TMZ reporter was the "concerned citizen" who reported it to the Secret Service
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 12, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Utah reports nearly 4,000 new COVID-19 cases in a day. At this rate, entire state will be infected by tomorrow
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 11, 2020
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Former Amazon engineer creates app that reportedly translates your cat's meows, so if you want to hear 'fark you, feed me' all day long, you're in luck
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 10, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
This is a test of the Emergency Democracy System. Had this been an actual emergency, you would have been told which re-education camp to report to and what would happen if you didn't. This is only a test
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
NBC reporter Ken Dilanian says out loud what we've all been thinking [NSFW language]
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 09, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In what is quite possibly the only thing more poorly sourced than QAnon itself, a blind item gossip website is reporting that the QAnon account is for sale on the dark web for (evil laugh) 1 MILLLLLLION dollars
source: crazydaysandnights.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Support for legal weed hits 68% of Americans. This was actually reported last week, but like, needed time to chill over the weekend and totally hit the ground running on a Monday morning
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The NYT tries to clean up the reputation of the reporter who did the most to normalize Trump, white supremacists, and racism in America. Way to go, Maggie
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Lara Trump, thinking nothing could go wrong, tweets out the new number people can call to report voter fraud because so many people were prank calling the old number
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 07, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
With the election called, this reporter only had one fark left to give
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 06, 2020
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
RNC: Here's a hotline to report rampant voter fraud. Callers: Yeah, I'd like to report a Donald Trump for flagrant voter intimidation and misleading statements about the election
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Motownphilly is back again, doin' a little east coast fling, reporting Joe Biden's lead in Pennsylvania has just grown to 9,027
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 05, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The Fed report for November: Ctrl-C Ctrl-V
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
That District Attorney in Georgia who almost blew the Ahmaud Arbery case because she didn't report her own conflict of interest in it? Yeah, the voters just kicked her ass to the curb
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
ABC News reports on one of the more troublesome states when it comes to elections: Georgia
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump allies Grenell and Schlapp bravely run from reporters who ask them for evidence of the election fraud they claim in Arizona
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 04, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Rescuers trying to reach 5-year-old boy trapped in 200-foot well in India. Sting is reportedly already working on a charity single
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
PA reports the highest single-day increase in Coronavirus cases today. Almost like somebody spent the last two weeks on some kind of "Super spreader tour"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 03, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Pool reporter Olivia Nuzzi nearly kicked off Air Force 2 for being observant
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The conservative fake reports of PA election rigging have already been launched
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Mainly due to less-than glowing reports, Lithuania cuts the cord as Belarus flips the switch on its 1st nuke plant
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
TX GOP officeholder fires more people who reported him for being criminally corrupt. Fark: It's the Attorney General. Ultrafark: who was consistently endorsed by the TX Republican party while under indictment for fraud
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Unredacted parts of Mueller Report coming out
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 02, 2020
(Axios)
 
 
 
Cook Political Report shifts 8 seats towards the Dems in final House forecast. This could expand their majority in the chamber by 10 to 15 seats and cause Nancy Pelosi to swig even more booze from the podium
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Oh look, unmasked Trump supporters "pretending" to cough on reporters as they leave a Trump rally
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 31, 2020
(NPR)
 
 
 
Remember when you were a kid, and had a bad grades, and lied to your parents about it, but your brother gave your report card to mom? This is exactly like that, but it's actual Covid hospitalization data, and NPR is taking the place of mom
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ric Romero reports from the CDC: Covid achieves nearly 100% spread in the one place nobody's expected to socially distance or wear masks
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Hysterical video game news report from 1982, back when your parents thought video games were from the debbil hisself
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 30, 2020
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Despite firefighters spraying crowd (and reporters) with water, supporters sent to hospital with heatstroke at Trump rally. The Sun is there
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
On a day reporting 90,000 infections and 1,000 deaths, man who should definitely lay off the blow sniffles his way through claims that "COVID deaths are almost nothing"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
Patriots reportedly are telling teams they'd be willing to trade almost anyone
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Old: CNN reporting a murder. New: CNN committing a murder
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
An illustrious ancestor of Technician Second Class Arnold J. Rimmer reported his department successfully cleared a 10 ton fatburg from a London sewer. With Not Safe For Lunch pics of the mass
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
A good earnings report? Colgate-Palmolive is soaking in it
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Exxon Mobil Corp. reports a third-quarter loss of $680 million, cash burning cigars and a teeny, tiny violin
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Police investigate unknown creature reported to be 8 feet tall with 5 legs (with bodycam video)
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 29, 2020
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Florida Dept of Health will in the future report positive covid cases as the test results come in instead of getting their numbers from the previous source: Jethro, the psychic cane toad
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Reporters have uncovered the one person in the world who had never heard of Trump's Access Hollywood tape... and she's a U.S. Senator
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
The NSA wrote a report on what it learned after a foreign government exploited a weak encryption scheme they endorsed. And they would love, LOVE to share it, but it got lost in the mail with Tucker's Hunter Biden stuff. Yeah, lost. Oopsie
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Tesla's auto-crash feature ranked poorly by Consumer Reports
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 28, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
White House admits report that listed 'ending' COVID pandemic as Trump accomplishment was 'poorly worded'. No kidding
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Chili's parent reports surprise profit, kind of like finding a good fry in your carry-out
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
"More than half of American adults with advanced MS report mistreatment by caregivers." And then it gets worse. Burn it down, covid. Burn it all down
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
According to Consumer Reports, Tesla's autopilot system is a distant second to...wait, GM?
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 27, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Doom-y headline: Caterpillar reports a 54% drop in sales in Q3. Reality article: still beats earnings estimates by over 10%
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Amount of water in Mediterranean Sea to halve in 20 years: report
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 26, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Iran is now reporting a COVID-19 death every four minutes; can't get a single offer for that watch on ebay despite adding free global shipping
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
FBI was legally required to produce a report about white supremacists and other domestic terrorists in June. Maybe there's just so much new information they can't keep up with the revisions?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Wisconsin QB Mertz awaiting confirmation of positive COVID-19 test, per reports. Fred and Ethel mortified
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 25, 2020
(C|Net)
 
 
 
CDC report finds people who were infected with COVID-19 were twice as likely to have dined out beforehand. Eating out still isn't safe, remember the pandemic isn't over, just because you're over it
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
To the surprise of absolutely no one with an IQ above room temperature, new report shows that far-right groups are behind the vast majority of terror attacks in the U.S
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 24, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Why didn't any of you farkers report a plane crashing with 500 people on it?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has now fired six of his staff members that reported him to law enforcement for bribery
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 23, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in India, legitimate social media was trending with "Pakistan civil war" after "reports" of tanks on the streets of Karachi. If Subby's "overuse" of quotes isn't a clue, the tag gives it away
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
"The Party of Fiscal Responsibility" is neither, reports Ric Romero
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Medical experts review records of ICE Ob-Gyn who performed forced sterilizations on women. The results are worse than previously reported
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Yo dawg, I herd you like reporting on shoplifting. So I shoplift where you report on shoplifting so you can report on my shoplifting while reporting on shoplifting
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Rays/Dodgers game 2 is reportedly the least-watched broadcast in World Series history or at least in the Nielsen Era, which began in 1968. Suck it L.A
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 22, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
Two weeks spent inside the Trump campaign from a reporter who bravely breached the bubble
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 21, 2020
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Owner of struggling bar featured in Biden campaign ad is actually a millionaire tech angel investor. The Daily Fail reporting the important issues that matter to everyday Americans
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
The Senate Foreign Relations Committee is reporting on the Trump Administrations foreign policy. Burn bridges, befriend enemies, isolate us. Oh, and bounties. (11:30 AM ET)
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 20, 2020
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Trumpism exposed what people really think. As this Trump rally reporter notes, "the upside is there's not a whole lot of stuff that's being hidden anymore." But "the downside is there's not a whole lot of stuff that's being hidden anymore"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Valley News Live)
 
 
 
Bad: North Dakota reports 1,036 new cases of coronavirus. Worse: The entire population of North Dakota is 762,000
source: valleynewslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 19, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"Joe Biden is a criminal, and you're a criminal for not reporting it"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
North Korean prisoners are treated "worse than animals," according to reporter who has never seen a designer dog inside a handbag at Target
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hints that the Covid-19 crisis isn't over yet for the US: Ten states just reported their highest single-day coronavirus case counts last week, and at least 27 states are showing an upward trend in the number of cases
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
New Thor movie 'darker than expected' say reports (Graphic picture, possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 18, 2020
(Capital Gazette)
 
 
 
So about that Hunter Biden computer story: Two Post reporters refused to put their names on it, and another didn't know her name was on it until it was published. "So who wrote it?" one might ask innocently
source: capitalgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 17, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
Judge to Trump: Tuesday, high noon. You report, I decide
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
US reports 69,000 new COVID infections in just 24 hours. What are we winning again?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 16, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Federal Judge tells White House Counsel to go ask Twtitler what he meant by "declassifying everything related to Russia" and report back next week
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
ActBlue, the Democrat's online fundraising platform aimed at small donors reports a 3rd quarter haul that was pretty, pretty good, like $1.5 BILLION good. the largest quarter in their 15-year history, and almost half of it coming in September alone
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 5 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Sleeping homeless man on bench reported to Ohio cops turns out to be sculpture of Jesus. Subby knows that guy. He is a repeat offender, likes hanging around in churches too
source: news5cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 15, 2020
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
You can now pack up your light and take it with you
source: science.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"American tennis player Sam Querrey reportedly at large after he and his family tested positive for coronavirus, much to the consternation of the ATP and Russian health authorities"
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. What happens on the flight back to Detroit is a different story
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Looks like someone finally made the call on that difficult trolley-problem
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Looks like someone finally made the call on that difficult trolley-problem
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 8000 La Crosse)
 
 
 
US Postal Service to return to pre-election level of dysfunction
source: news8000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Another ordinary day, another jetpack reported flying over LA
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 14, 2020
(MassLive)
 
 
 
If you need to drop off some papers for the Governor of MA, be sure to use the unlocked back door, so the security detail out front doesn't notice
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Yet another San Francisco company to DropOffice
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Biden campaign: The entire story is bullshiat. We have Biden's meeting schedule for fark's sakes. Also, if any of this is true, wouldn't the Post have asked us to comment, ya know, like a good reporter would? Bullshiat and malarkey
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Bill Gates: "I didn't realize so many people would hate my success"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Bollywood stars suing Indian news channels over reports the industry drove a star to suicide
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
China's Xi Jinping tells troops to focus their 'minds' to prepare for war. Uh, war with whom?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Aw, shuks! 107 year old NYC Grand Central Oyster Bar closes due to the pandemic
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Maskless lap dances, other COVID violations cited as state suspends liquor license for Mardi Gras strip club in Springfield. Strange times Archie, strange times
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My NBC 15)
 
 
 
Fünftausend Neuerkrankungen. Ach, du heilige Scheisse
source: mynbc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
DOJ in open court to a federal judge in a FOIA case: Well yes, the President SAID to "Declassify everything, NO REDACTIONS", but the White House Counsel told us to ignore him so, we're not ACTUALLY declassifying that stuff he told us to
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
How the News Gets Made: Reporter does story on the conglomerate that bought out the local paper and slashed jobs until there was ONE (1) full-time reporter left, at $36k/year. Reporter gets fired for doing the interview, 3 days before her wedding
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
ICE on the verge of deporting 60 refugees from Cameroon who fled civil war back to their home country, despite a Department of State memo confirming that in all likelihood, they would be executed as soon as they arrive. Fark this timeline
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
That Gravy Seal who got shot in Denver? Newly released video and photo shows him attacking a reporter and the guard who's sitting in jail right now
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
"8:35 a.m.: A suspicious package was reported on Esterbrook Road. An officer reported it was a McDonald's burger; all clear." Once again, Hamburglar eludes the law
source: acton.wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 13, 2020
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Going to Disney World but worried about protesters? Just pack your AR-15 and a backup 9mm handgun to get you safely through The Magic Kingdom
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Get Surrey)
 
 
 
Brian May launches petition to block expansion of his local Sainsbury's on grounds that it will harm the local hedgehog population
source: getsurrey.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Not news: The Cook Political Report shifts three Senate races towards Democrats. News: TX, AK, and GA. Fark: TX and AK go from "likely" to "lean" R, but Georgia is now officially a "toss up"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Three of the biggest newspaper publishers pull reporters from Trump's campaign trail because no one in the campaign is following Covid-19 protocols
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Nearly all eligible voters in Texas' most blue county are registered to vote this year. A record 97% of the county's estimated 850,000 eligible voters are registered and the lines to vote are huge. Blue stampede on the way
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
Weeners
 
Australian firefighters posing with baby animals for a calendar. Subby is reporting this from my bunk
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
Wichita State head coach Gregg Marshall allegedly punched a player, and body slammed another. Reports are said to be shocking
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter Donald Trump)
 
 
 
I wonder why he's hammering Drudge... goes to DrudgeReport.com .... Oh, so just like the failing NY Times
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Short answer: They're idiots. Long answer: They're f*cking idiots
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rapid City Journal)
 
 
 
Looks like Sturgis finally caught up with South Dakota who is now #1 in the country for COVID cases, followed by their neighbor Best Dakota
source: rapidcityjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"I have pancreatitis" the news anchor said, way down at the end of this bizarre story
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
California AG and Secretary of State issue cease-and-desist letters to California GOP putting out fake ballot boxes. GOP replies that their votes don't count
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NECN Boston)
 
 
 
I'd like to report a sunfish
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
Eating dinner on a Ferris Wheel, losing it on the roller coaster
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 12, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mark Zuckerberg heard muttering, "where's the money in THAT?"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Police investigating drowning at Echo Lake ake ake ake
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one before: the polls are skewed and it's "mathematically impossible for Joe Biden to win"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Oh, this should be fun. Or should I say "Ees very nice"?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
"Now Daddy can only afford to buy me paste from Wal-Mart"
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Early voting begins in Georgia, lines reported. When you've been waiting a couple years to pay back previous electoral shenanigans, a couple hours is nothing
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Alex Smith to Dak Prescott: Tag you're it (Graphic video warning)
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 11, 2020
(MacRumors)
 
 
 
5G on the iPhone 12 will work as intended
source: macrumors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
What's the opposite of caregiving?
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ... probably COVID, too
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
One dead, two reported in custody after Patriot Rally attendee is shot after macing others
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 10, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump-appointed Pennsylvania federal judge to the Trump campaign and state GOP: "Go home and get your shinebox"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Metro train experiences 'undesired uncoupling'. Gwyneth Paltrow wanted for questioning
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Reported python in gas station turns out to be a small garter snake, which was released into the wild "with the understanding that it would not continue to traumatize the humans"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 09, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In Scotland, even the seagulls are hooligans
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
As the drugs continue to mess with his brain, Trump claims the Green New Deal requires building to be torn down and replaced with buildings that have tiny windows that you can't see out of
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
US insulin has the best, most classy prices. Unbelievable prices. In fact eight times better
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Barr to fellow Republicans: Durham report won't be ready by the election, no indictments, womp womp
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
BuzzFeed is seeking access to the entire Mueller report based on Trump's declassification order via tweet. Another brilliant move by the Stable Genius
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
F-35 tried to kill its pilot how many different ways? Six, ah ah ah
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 08, 2020
(Everything Lubbock)
 
 
 
It's a roller coaster on the Texas highway as a truck full of chili peppers gives away it's load. No word if it went under the bridge, or if motorists had to head to higher ground. Driver reportedly swerved to avoid a patchy rose peacock
source: everythinglubbock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Dr. Conley reports the president is lying comfortably, can return to public engagements on Saturday
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Regeneron CEO is a member of Trump Golf Club
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
A new role-playing computer game helps players understand how vaccines work on a global scale. You still have to set your own safe-command, though
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Locksmith saves terrified woman when she writes '911' on her hand after her violent stalker ex-boyfriend takes her hostage in her own home
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
White House staffers reportedly scared for their lives, embarrassed by Trump's reckless behavior. Welcome to the party, pals
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Leaked NHS master plan claims they'll save Christmas with a Covid-19 vaccine (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Trump calls for Barr to indict Biden
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
For all it's Western technology and Democracy and Capitalism, the US is doing badly with Covid-19. Let's see how the entire continent of Africa is doing. Oh ... oh my
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
How did they get the flies to buzz around and OMG that's not a Halloween decoration
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
NFL needs to immediately end Titans' 2020 season, force them to change name to Tennessee Covidiots
source: touchdownwire.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
The black hole always rings twice
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 07, 2020
(Fox11 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
L.A. county DA investigating whether Sheriff Villanueva made a false report against former County CEO. Whether this will further delay the release date of "Dune" is unknown at this time
source: foxla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Look around you. Do you see any giraffes?
source: ibtimes.sg   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Plastic bags are just android jellyfish
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Restaurant News)
 
 
 
Once again you'll be able to start your day the Taco Bell way
source: nrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Your internet era oil barons who always use monopolistic practices to get ahead: Apple, Amazon, Facebook and Google
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Two Scoops: DECLASSIFY EVERYTHING Ted Lieu: Excellent. Unredacted Mueller report please
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Lead)
 
 
 
Reporter bravely fights off raccoon before going on air live. "Frickin racoons, man"
source: thebiglead.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Total billionaire wealth surges to record high of $10,200,000,000,000 (that's $10.2 trillion) during the coronavirus crisis. Good luck getting your $1200 "stimulus"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Such a shame: Apple blows a hole in Facebook's revenue model
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 06, 2020
(DW)
 
 
 
China would like it very much if everyone reported all their spending to the Central Government. Thank you for your cooperation
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Pat Kiernan says what we've all been thinking
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Dr Fauci now has his own action figure
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Prevail)
 
 
 
"Now, in a macabre quirk of fate, Jared Kushner is indirectly responsible for his father's nemesis, with his widely reported comorbidities, contracting covid-19"
source: gregolear.substack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PetaPixel)
 
 
 
Nikon's last film camera is listed as discontinued. Hipsters outraged
source: petapixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Teen spending hits a two-decade low. O M G
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
AT&T just boned its DSL customers and rural America because AT&T
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Library employee accused of stealing, selling over $1.3M in printer toner, or about 4 ounces
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It looks like you're trying to trace tens of thousands of contacts to limit the spread of a dangerous virus. Would you like some help with that?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 05, 2020
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
It's the Greatest Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Automotive News)
 
 
 
Toyota and Nissan plan to seek reimbursement from the UK government if Brexit talks fail. 10% on each car adds up quickly, you can always buy a Vauxhall or Mini if you need something new and affordable
source: autonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Civil Rights Movement)
 
 
 
"I swear, these people" is the reaction to a maskless Mark Meadows being near the president and reporters
source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
The Trump administration ordered the CDC to change its report on pediatric Coronavirus
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Cineworld, which announced it closing all its cinemas, then said reports of it closing all its cinemas was premature, confirms that it's closing all its cinemas
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Newspapers have assigned reporters to update Trump's obituary. People are saying they've never seen an obituary like it
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Trump administration finds Voice of America reporter insufficiently loyal
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 04, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Thomas Jefferson Byrd, age 70, famous for acting in Spike Lee joints, shot and killed in Atlanta
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
If Honda recalls your airbags, mails more than 15 notices, makes numerous phone calls, and even leaves info at your house, do you think you'll find sympathy on Fark after your death by exploding airbag?
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Ringer)
 
 
 
10 years ago, half the reporters at ESPN took their talents to South Beach
source: theringer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 03, 2020
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
A new Ric Romero report reveals that Presidential physicians don't always tell the public the full story
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Hopefully there's no bridge traffic on the way to the hospital
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Ammon Bundy does exactly what you expect him to do, police react the way you expect them to
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
E for effort... F for felonies
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bring Me the News)
 
 
 
Man dressed as a gorilla and carrying a machete threatens to blow up building. It's the Fargo way, you betcha
source: bringmethenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 02, 2020
(The New Civil Rights Movement)
 
 
 
White House doctor reports Trump is fatigued, resting, has lovely plumage
source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Duluth News Tribune)
 
 
 
Trump signs executive order on mining expansion because Obama
source: duluthnewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Amateur skims everything he reads. As if we need to read the article at all
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 01, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Over 600 Earthquakes rock a small California town because why not? It's 2020. It's all just a setup for "the big one"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Wells Fargo's latest scam? "Pausing" customers' mortgage payments without their consent, to "help" them during the coronavirus pandemic. Credit reports unavailable for comment
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Nation)
 
 
 
When Trump bent over backwards to not condemn white nationalists, the FBI put out a warning over the threat of such groups, pointing out the election as a potential flashpoint
source: thenation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClearPolitics)
 
 
 
Looks like the Durham Report won't be the Hail Mary October Surprise that Team Trump had hoped for - anonymous sources close to the investigation say it will likely not be released until after the Election. Tag is for subby's Trumpster friends
source: realclearpolitics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Black college cheerleader introduced to latest prank craze "swatting," where white teammates call cops, report person with weapon making threats in dorm room. Texas: Where guns blaze
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Chuck Grassley's main concern about Trump's tax returns is how they got out
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Devs are managing 100x more code now than they did in 2010, some of it well
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 30, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Judge orders more redactions removed from the Mueller Report. We should be getting the full unredacted report sometime in 2023 at this rate
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Let's just hope Best Korea's nuke power plant, which was just battered by recent typhoons, was built to best specs because if not it could spark a Fukushima-style disaster that will threaten the lives of 100million people
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Cats hold the key to a covid-19 but are indifferent to sharing. With a helpful picture of a face indifferent to human suffering
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Biden plans to 'take over the internet'
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Parscale is given the Stalin treatment
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Astronauts close to finding out who is passing gas
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
You cannot make a Herd Immunity Omelette without breaking some eggs
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 29, 2020
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Yes he even makes fun of you. He makes fun of everyone who isn't him
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Hey you kids in Chicago, stop stealing livestock in Japan
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
US Attorney: Barr is f*cking America up. Don't blame the DOJ, we're trying to fight back as best we can
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Japan's military pilots are ordered to report UFO sightings and try to photograph any strange sightings
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Michael "I TOLD you he was a crook" Cohen says that after the release of his tax returns Trump is terrified he's going to jail and you can tell by his "dazed and confused" body language at Sunday's press conference. All right, All right, All Right
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Rapper Lil Yachty pulled over for going 150mph on Atlanta's I-75; citation issued for blocking traffic
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
SUV reported stolen, then found a few hours later by its owner, abandoned on the side of the highway. The real kicker here is that there's a 2008 Dodge Nitro that's still in working condition
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Oregon: "Phew, glad we sorted out that months-long selection process." Losing vendor: "I call shenanigans", I order you to go through the process again"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 28, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump accuses Hunter Biden of receiving millions from the wife of late Moscow mayor Luzhkov, who is described in Ron Johnson's report as corrupt, but, brace yourselves, Trump himself sought millions in deals with Luzhkov's government from 1992-2010
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
UK company Open Orphan plans to test COVID-19 vaccine by exposing volunteers to COVID-19
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DeadState)
 
 
 
Anyone really care what Mike Huckabee thinks of the Trump tax scandal? I didn't think so, but in case you feel like punching yourself in the face, here it is
source: deadstate.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Robert Graetz, the only white pastor to publicly help organize the 1955 Montgomery Bus Boycott, dead at 92
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Biden's transition team has a widow of opportunity
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salem News 2)
 
 
 
City hopes to restore secluded Dodge Burial Ground, Just don't bury that 57 Plymouth Fury there after the engine dies. Sometimes dead is better
source: salemnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Real Clear Science)
 
 
 
Uh, all of it?
source: realclearscience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Imposter Syndrome has declined since the Quarantine had people working from home as there's no way your toddler is gunning for that promotion and sabotaging your TPS reports--right?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun September 27, 2020
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
Android apps caught engaging in WAP billing fraud. Megan Thee Stallion unavailable for comment
source: zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Aaaannnd...here come the aliens
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
And the Fark meme comes true
source: news18.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 26, 2020
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Lying out your ass on a police report is illegal? Someone should have told these cops
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Stuff that people want more costs more. This is Ric Romero, reporting for Fox Business News
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Oh wait, he's serious. Let us laugh even harder, comrades
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 25, 2020
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
A news reporter recovers from what must be at least a six month-long coma to declare the "Pandemic could change spending habits"
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
The archaeologist who tried the mask for size said it was "Smokin'..." according to reports (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
Minnesota "Nice"
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
 
 
Minnesota "Nice"
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Collider)
 
 
 
So now Henry Cavill says he's *not* shooting any additional footage for Zack Snyder's 4-hour Justice League Electric Boogaloo
source: collider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
Famous unicorn now in museum and safe from sharks. Reportedly said "I should be happy but I'm feeling deflated"
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Two drunk women, one naked, charged for fighting on front lawn. At least they weren't in the War Room
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colchester Gazette)
 
 
 
When god gives you potholes, make a road penis
source: gazette-news.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
2020 presents the cure for 2020: the firenado. "One ... was rated an EF-2, with winds up to 125 miles per hour. The other had winds of up to 100 miles per hour and was rated an EF-1"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 24, 2020
(Some Numbers Cruncher)
 
 
 
Reporter reviews the data, talks to eye witnesses, and takes a look at the actual tracked incidents of violence at BLM protests. TLDR; it's the police and the racist vigilantes
source: truthout.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Accounting errors in Mitch McConnell's re-election campaign ledgers? Wai
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
To diminish the fact Trump and his family were found to be illegally running the Trump Foundation for their own benefit, AG Bill Barr asks, "Whatabout the Clinton Foundation?"
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Trump tells hospitals to bend the knee or lose $
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
America's top CEOs call for "major" coronavirus stimulus to keep the economy from sliding back into the crapper. Also need to keep up their payments on third and fourth homes
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Trump experiencing a second wave of Covid-19 testing failure
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
GOP will accept election results despite Trump's comments, says noted honest and never-lying politician Lindsey Graham
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
New CDC report that will probably be retracted before noon today says that Americans in their 20's account for more Covid-19 cases than any other age group, and if those dumbasses don't start taking this seriously it ain't going away
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
"Getting hacked is easy, just search with the Bing." Microsoft leaks 6.5TB of user search data when "the authentication was removed"
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
MISS TESCHMACHER. NY MTA's internal watchdog has found the secret "man cave" built below the tracks at Grand Central Terminal. Do you realize what people are shelling out up there, for a few miserable rooms off a common elevator?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
State has 27,000 acres of public land that the public may not use, and America has a total of 16.25 million acres of landlocked public areas. Well, at least until a more valuable monetization is determined
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
This is why Subby doesn't do gardening. Okay, that's a lie - I have no interest in gardening, but this makes me even less interested
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Here are some mildly interesting photos of some very interesting things to take the edge off your day
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 23, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Trump tells reporters he has no intention of conceding the election
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Intelligence officials ecstatic to not have to use bright, simple graphics and Comic Sans font in a report for once
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Want to drive yourself more insane over the next 41 days with polls and charts?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Russian air force proves its superiority to USAF by shooting down state-of-the art Su-30 (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
FTFA: "Dancing shirtless on tables" outside convenience stores typically is frowned upon, while "dancing shirtless on tables" is an advertised attraction at certain adult-only establishments
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
Turns out it doesn't matter if you release a nothingburger of a "scandal" report when the national media can do all the heavy lifting for you
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Tyrod Taylor and LA Chargers learn the hard way that sometimes, the cure really is worse than the disease
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Cook Political Report says Colorado is cruising the scene with the democratic lean
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Russian Ron has released his Biden report, and apparently it's a big ol' bowl of nothingborscht
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good decisions on school reopening are driven by good data. Urge your school to participate in the national COVID database
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Putin goes full Batman villain and offers to give Russia's c19 vaccine to all United Nations workers for free
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
The Balancing Rock needs a new name
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Roy Head, the rocker known for his 1965 smash "Treat Her Right," died Monday at his home in Porter, Texas, family members reported. He was 79
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 22, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
WZTV: Nashville mayor is covering up coronavirus cases. Fox News: OMG COVERUP Nashville Mayor: No, I'm not. Here are the receipts. WZTV: You're right, our bad. Fox News: Oopsie. Tucky: OMG COVERUP
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(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
San Juan Capistrano reported an extra large swallow this week
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Drunk British man channels Mike Tyson on flight
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(Sounds Legit)
 
 
 
Man spends life recording album, accidentally hits delete, panics and convinces magazine reporter with ridiculous story
source: afar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Is the gold in your phone funding drug gangs? And what about the blow in your hooker?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Intercessors for America says RBG's vacant SCOTUS seat belongs to God. "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do, because I notice it always coincides with their own desires" ~ Susan B. Anthony
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(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Bank of America execs go to Deutsche Bank to directly report Russians laundering money through Deutsche Bank, get kicked out of building. The other 100+ reports of money laundering met a similar fate
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(The Nation)
 
 
 
DHS reportedly cloned protesters phones in Portland. Records will reveal subby's phone posted this from Washington DC, even though he thinks his phone is in his pocket in Illinois
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(Jacksonville.com)
 
Boobies
 
Father-son plastic surgeon team sued for malpractice over 290 times
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 21, 2020
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
8.7 million people never received their $1,200 stimulus check due to incomplete records. But please feel confident that the government will roll out a covid vaccine in an effective manner
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
According to the CBO, just to get the national debt back to pre-Covid levels, we're going to need an extra $900 billion a year, which mean basically cutting all non-defense discretionary spending and half of DOD's budget, or raising taxes
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
All those who had "government shutdown" on their 2020 bingo cards, get your markers ready
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(MSN)
 
 
 
Nikola CEO crashes and burns after Hindenburg reports massive fraud... NII-KO-LAAAAA
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(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
If you're going to drink, don't drive. If you're going to drive, stay on your own side of the road. If you're going to drive on the wrong side, don't hit another car. If you're going to hit another car, do not make it an occupied police car
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
ओह मानवता
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(Deseret News)
 
 
 
Mr. Pascal, did you ever hear the story of Shelley Long and David Caruso?
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(UPI)
 
 
 
Many high-risk patients don't know they need a follow-up-and-up-and-up colonoscopy
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Sun September 20, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Don your shocked face - Heritage Foundation report is full of shiat
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(Threader)
 
 
 
Seems Barr's Mueller report redactions were a bit more false than he let on. And he hid some pretty serious info about Russian election meddling (outside of their cooperation with the Trump Campaign)
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(Nerdist)
 
 
 
No, Pink Floyd didn't sell out when they allowed their music to be used in Denis Villanueve's "Dune". They sold out in the 1970's when they agreed to do the music for Alejandro Jodorowsky's "Dune"
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Sat September 19, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
From the Romero Institute for COVID Studies comes not one, but two groundbreaking reports that coronavirus can spread on airline flights. Two reports, ah ah ah
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Only 1/2 of all school employees are at risk of contracting COVID every day. So get your lazy asses back in the classrooms you lazy slackers. PS: help wanted
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(Chron)
 
 
 
Well that's embarrassing
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 18, 2020
(Los Angeles Magazine)
 
 
 
Not News: LA Sherriff's Department lies about arrest of reporter. News: Inspector General says so
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(Deadline)
 
 
 
WarnerMedia looking at reports of workplace harassment and toxic culture now that people are paying attention
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(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Next up on the News at 6, we have our roving reporter Keanu Reeves doing a story about teddy bears
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(National Post)
 
 
 
Myanmar reports a new record daily rise in covid cases, knows what it has to do
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
While on the tarmac, one assumes
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(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
China has a bigger navy than the United States
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(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Japanese Karaoke Box Association reports over 500 of its 6000 members have closed down this year. Yesterday, all their troubles seemed so far away, then a virus came to make their day
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Suck it, Pol Pot
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Sports)
 
 
 
Kawhi Leonard reportedly told Toronto he was leaving because he didn't think they could repeat as champions. Wait a minute...Kawhi Leonard actually talked?
source: nba.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A pastor in Idaho called himself a "no-masker" during a service and repeatedly questioned the veracity of coronavirus case reporting. You know what happened next
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Thu September 17, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The Non-partisan Cook Political Report says that "toss-up" state Arizona has landed and "lean Democrat" is face up
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(AI Weirdness)
 
 
 
I think I want to build a small 'Horizontal Plinth of Cloudy Quartz and Bismuth' just on general principles
source: aiweirdness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
University of Georgia changes their mind, agrees voting is as important as football
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Trump campaign says no way a sexual assault on an ex-model was committed by Trump at the US Open in 1997 noting that at age 25 she was too old for him
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(Reuters)
 
 
 
Mexico's president says the US report on drugs is just, "como, su opinión, hombre"
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(MSN)
 
 
 
The police aren't nearly as racist as you'd imagine is the 'glass is half full' take on this story no one wants to hear
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Most schools named for Confederate leaders serve non-white students. Obvious and Ironic tags take Underground Railroad together and meet in Maryland safehouse, where Awkward discovers them
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(CNN)
 
 
 
The same day that Barr gave a speech defending his tanking of the Flynn and Stone cases because he wanted to end what he called "the criminalization of politics". The story breaks that he asked his prosecutors to charge Seattle's mayor with sedition
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(TMZ)
 
 
 
Kentucky is dead. Long live the Street Outlaws
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(Axios)
 
 
 
Amazon will now begin acquiring climate change startups
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(NPR)
 
 
 
Military police leaders weighed whether or not to deploy a 'heat ray' against the DC protesters. Lex Luthor nods approvingly
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Wed September 16, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Reporter: "Why does the U.S. have 4% of the population, but 24% of the COVID deaths?" McEnany: "You have to look at this holistically" WUT?
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(Blabbermouth)
 
 
 
Dee Snider isn't going to take it from anti-maskers in Florida
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(NJ.com)
 
 
 
No Tom Brady, you can't stay in Derek Jeter's Tampa mansion anymore. Not yours
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(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Because it's cheaper than dying in the US?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 15, 2020
(News and Star (UK))
 
 
 
Regret to report that the second coming of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ has been delayed because [checks notes] He's been remanded in custody for skipping His train fare
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
Washington State Lawmaker who posted an article on Facebook claiming 460,000 missing children a year "end up in sex dungeons to be exploited and repeatedly raped by demons." leaves threatening voicemail for reporter who reports this. Guess the party
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(WISTV)
 
 
 
Teacher loses his job after snorting drugs in front of class
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(ESPN)
 
 
 
If MLB didn't care about respiratory health related to COVID, it is likely they won't care about respiratory health related to excessive smoke inhalation
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(Engadget)
 
 
 
Plus, if you hold the LG's new dual-screen Wing just right, you can keep vampires at bay
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
Sean Hannity and Lou Dobbs are going to have to sit for depositions early next month and answer questions under oath in a lawsuit filed against them by Seth Rich's parents
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Mon September 14, 2020
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
"A new study shows that DUI arrests in California increase as distance to the southern border decrease, and that this may be due to greater availability of alcohol in the border area. Borracho Ricardo Romero reportando"
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(Times Union)
 
 
 
Nevada firm that hosted indoor Trump rally hit with $3000 fine. Company officials think that's Xtreme
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(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Black holes could 'delete' areas of the universe. This is due to happen in trillions of years, but hey, why not start preparing now? (possible nsfw content on page)
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(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
From the 'news not being reported' front: 800 nurses in Chicago go on strike. Although here it is being reported, so
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Violent Memes was my favorite band in college
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(CNBC)
 
 
 
Short-selling firm Hindenburg makes explosive allegations against Italian electric car company Nikola regarding their development of self-driving trucks
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Not news: Trump makes four false claims. News: In one sentence. Farked: Anyone who's still surprised by this
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(WANE Ft. Wayne)
 
 
 
All you need is the power of your imagination, and a little bit of meth
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
Reese's is rumored to be debuting Peanut Butter Cups with pieces of potato chips mixed into the peanut butter filling. WANT
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(Reuters)
 
 
 
Covid continues to keep oil receding from the anus. And it's no secret oily anuses are rarely considered ideal
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(Jezebel)
 
 
 
The latest Republican rising star is "Miss Poison Pork Sliders" of Colorado, who could just as easily feel right at home in Florida
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(The Hill)
 
 
 
Ted Cruz says he wouldn't accept SCOTUS nomination, even though he would have a prime opportunity to kill again
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(Rapid City Journal)
 
 
 
South Dakota's attorney general reports hitting deer Saturday night. Police find human body along side of road the next morning. Coincidence?
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