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headlines found matching 'Plan'
Tue August 04, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Government of the minority, chosen by a minority, on behalf of a minority, is not what Lincoln had in mind at Gettysburg
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bring Me the News)
 
 
 
US Senator Tina Smith (D-Munchies) has submitted a bill to legalize recreational marijuana nationally. Supporters of the issue say they haven't been following politics since PlutoTV started 24 hour classic Doctor Who
source: bringmethenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Kim Jon Un: "It's not that he has public toilet anxiety - it's all part of his plan to protect his feces from falling into the wrong hands"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
A new implantable transmitter provides a wireless option for biomedical devices, Bill Gates, hackers, the Mark of the Beast, COVID, and probably the Internet of Things as well
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 03, 2020
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Protracted accretion of planetesimals ... and you have already clicked
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
University of North Carolina faculty tell students it is not safe to return to campus, prepare class action lawsuit to prevent planned August 10 reopening
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Visual Capitalist)
 
 
 
Global pension plans rated. Welcome to the Future, where The Amazing Criswell predicts you will spending the rest of your lives
source: visualcapitalist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
6pm ET - It's the Fark News Livestream Things got a little weird over the weekend. COVID-19 vaccine updates, Floridians try to give SpaceX an unwanted helping hand, and someone finally went and planted those seeds from China
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
James O'Keefe is behind Trump's plan to steal the election. So we can all rest easy, then, the election is safe
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Fabien Cousteau announced plans to build undersea research station to find extraterr-, uh, to see what's down there
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson tired of having money and success
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Linkin Park plan special 20th anniversary event for Hybrid Theory, and in the end isn't that all that matters?
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun August 02, 2020
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Because 250,000 people apparently can't bear the thought of not being able to drive into a hick town in South Dakota this summer, the Sturgis bike rally will proceed as planned
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Turns out Trump's big healthcare plan involves hitting par on the course
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Get ready for the invasion of the alien squash monsters: An Arkansas man has planted those mysterious seeds sent from China to the U.S. and has been using miracle grow on them for two months
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 01, 2020
(Fox 8 New Orleans)
 
 
 
In 1968 "Don't Raise the Bridge, Lower the River" was a screwball comedy starring Jerry Lewis. In 2020 it's an engineering plan
source: fox8live.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Lincoln Project realized that Trump can't take criticism and he can't plan ahead. What they found is that a single video can take him off track for a day or more
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Not to get everyone all paranoid, but the FBI is investigating after a "drone-a-palooza" was observed over a nuclear power plant in Arizona for two nights in a row
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"If you don't put that mask on RIGHT NOW so help me, I'm going to turn this plane right around.: No Ok, HERE WE GO"
source: travelpulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 31, 2020
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplanation: Why you, too, should love Colin Jost
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Good news: the logistics prowess of the DoD will be used to distribute covid vaccines. Bad news: the CDC will have no input
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Company in Texas worried that Airlines might not ever want their salty nut sacks back on the planes
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen...David Trump
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Why didn't Japan have a serious COVID outbreak? The explanation could be that they went well beyond WHO guidelines to prevent airborne transmission
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
The US' first COVID-19 patient to undergo a double lung transplant said she woke up days later unaware of the surgery and unable to "recognize my body." The second head didn't help either
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hooter Guy)
 
 
 
Giant Eurasian eagle owl sets up shop with her three chicks in Belgian man's window planter--and they all watch TV with him. JA RLY
source: returntonow.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 30, 2020
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
Kushner decided not to implement a detailed pandemic response plan in April in part because they figured the virus would be relegated to Democratic states
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NJ Governor introduces the 'Knucklehead Hall of Fame.' This being NJ, expansion plans immediately announced and a toll will be charged to exit
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Senate GOP and White House can't agree on COVID relief plan, settle for both opposing House's COVID relief plan
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
CBS All Access wants people to know it's still a thing, vows programming boost and rebrand
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Teacher Union president tells federal and local authorities rushing to open schools against medical advice that there's just one teeny tiny flaw in their plans: Schools need teachers and her members can and will strike if they feel unsafe
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 29, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
GOP's wage replacement plan punishes its own voter base
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fire Rescue 1)
 
 
 
Volunteer firefighters - who look more like the board of a bad HOA - "resign" after city doesn't want them running calls that all but two aren't qualified to run in the first place
source: firerescue1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
BoJo's plan to get us cycling again gets off to a rocky start as the website set up to issue free £50 bike repair vouchers crashes within a yoctosecond of going live
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Not wanting to put people in jeopardy in this wheel of fortune we call life, game shows announce plans for guests to come on down once again
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
The nation's largest bear ranch is in northern Michigan, caring for dozens of rescued bears in large outdoor habitats. Bonus: you can feed the cubs. Extra bonus: lot of heckin chonker pics in TFA
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Putin to withdraw 12,000 US troops from Germany
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Studying radioactive aluminum in stellar systems is adding transparency to how planets are born
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
School Committee meeting on Zoom and community-access TV was supposed to cover all the district's plans for the fall, but only got as far as sex ed
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 28, 2020
(NPR)
 
 
 
Trump just announced that Kodak will begin producing base chemicals for generic pharmaceuticals, and has secured a nearly $1 billion Federal loan to do so. So, momma don't take my Viagrachrome away??
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phone Arena)
 
 
 
T-Mobile sprints to close and rebrand remaining Sprint stores. Can you hear me now?
source: phonearena.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Plans for "UK's answer to Disneyland" theme park outside London finally unveiled, the £3.5billion project is set to open in 2024 and will give Disney Paris a run for its money (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Plans for "UK's answer to Disneyland" theme park outside London finally unveiled, the £3.5billion project is set to open in 2024 and will give Disney Paris a run for its money (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
MLB tried to get back to work using a COVID-19 plan with no bubble, relying on thick operations manual that everyone from Manfred down to the players has ignored. Not surprisingly, it's failing
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
Want football? Pray the NFL doesn't repeat MLB's mistakes
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you pay the extra for the VIP package, you can also have a microwave, TV, refridgerator & potted plant.....in your cell
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Good news everybody, the Coronavirus relief bill includes $1,200 for you, and $2 billion for F-35s, C-130Js and the A-10 wing replacements along with $1 billion for Navy P-8 planes
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 27, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
On July 27, 2020, at 7:20 AM GMT, Boris Johnson became self-aware
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If you plan on going out into the woods this summer, you might want to invest in some body armor
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
R.I.P. open plans for anything, the walls have returned
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Blue Thunder, Red Planet
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The Senate GOP rolls out their big plan for Coronavirus relief: Do something the labor department told them back in March would be impossible, and individually peg unemployment benefits at 70% of whatever a person's paycheck used to be
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sealab 2021 plans revealed to the world. There's even a spot for all those jerks from Pod 6
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Bernie Sanders' delegates plan to stage a protest at the DNC if "Medicare for all" isn't part of the party platform; don't seem to realize the moderator of a Zoom meeting can put you on "mute" without asking you
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Dr. Fauci says he won't get on a plane or eat in a restaurant because he doesn't want to die
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Genetically modified mosquitoes? What could go wrong
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 26, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
Strange diseases, creatures and plants ... Oh My
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24newsorder.com)
 
 
 
Holy shiat. Grok that picture. Those two monkeys in the front are totally saying, "You want some of this?" We can now add "Transition to Planet of the Apes" to the 2020 calendar. Bonus: the reason in the movie was also a pandemic
source: 24newsorder.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 25, 2020
(Everyday Astronaut)
 
 
 
NASA plans to launch its next Mars rover on July 30. So what is new on this rover? Here comes a detailed preview that you can either read or watch
source: everydayastronaut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Trump's new campaign manager also denies reality with the worst of them
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
59% Americans plan to stay fat after the pandemic passes. We might need that blubber to survive lean times ahead
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
If you receive some mysterious unsolicited seeds with Chinese writing on the package, please don't plant them. Considering how 2020's going, they probably cause zombies
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
USAF says it is a TOTAL coincidence that a SOCOM surveillance plane was flying over Portland last week, and that those flights were scheduled MONTHS ago...really...they promise
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 24, 2020
(Some Astrobiologist)
 
 
 
In a conclusion reached by pure logic, volcanism is certainly behind growth of hydrogen-rich early atmospheres on both Earth-like and Mars-like planets. Mind melded
source: astrobiology.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Red Sox president: We're disappointed Mookie decided to sign with the team we traded him to
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The EPA proposes airplane emission standards the airlines already meet *taps temple*
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The finalized Senate GOP pandemic relief plan which was not finalized yesterday but is being finalized today won't be finalized today
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Passengers injured as US F-15 comes too close to passenger jet, although US officials claim there was no danger as the plane was not a US Navy vessel
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
The number of heart transplants declined sharply during the pandemic even as the number of donors continues to rise
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
FAA orders emergency inspections of some planes that had been in storage because of COVID-19. They fear sudden engine failures. There have been four incidents. Obvious: Boeing
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
RNC has no plan, there's no venue, no security available, GOP Senators bailing, delegates staying home to spend more time with their mistresses, but it's Donnie's decision to cancel
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The US can send a C-17 hospital plane across the world to get a sick Kuwaiti royal. Remember that as you die in debt to your hospital for a broken arm
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
"So this is how maskless covidiots get kicked off planes . . . with thunderous applause"
source: god.dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
The US Air Force is flying its most advanced spy plane over a) Beijing, b) Tehran or c) Portland
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tom's Hardware)
 
 
 
You won't believe how many plus signs Intel can line up behind 14nm process node with this one weird trick
source: tomshardware.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
Remember that absurd "Plandemic" video? Sinclair Media, owner of 294 local tv stations sure does
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 23, 2020
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Man arrested for vandalizing sewer grates, blames turtles for foiling his plans
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Since meat packing plants and ocean ships had such good luck with Covid-19, Alaska's seafood industry should be pretty safe combining the two, right?
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Sec of State Plumpeo plans to help smooth relations with China by calling for the Chinese people to rise up and destroy the Communist Party. Trade talks appear to be going well
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Centuries-old member of Japan's shrine association plans to exit after years of distrust, exacerbated when "association failed to provide the shrine with a heihaku cash offering in time for Emperor Naruhito's conducting of the Daijosai"
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Hollywood ignoring Coronavirus to make money
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Treasury Secretary Munchkin: "This bailout will not be used to bail out mismanaged states." In related news, Steve made most of his money from the last bailout in 2008
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politifact)
 
 
 
Biden claims he "Warned Trump in January this pandemic was coming. I talked about what we needed to do" And he did, in print, in USA Today. But because Biden released a more detailed plan in March, we'll rate this only "mostly true" because "balance"
source: politifact.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Tea Party rises up against McConnell's relief plan. In other news, the Tea Party is still a thing
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
NCAA meeting to discuss cancellation of all fall sports
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
We can see two planets orbiting our nearby star. I'm downplaying it, but this is big
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 22, 2020
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Geologists warn of fault running through planned Hollywood development. Not sure who would play Stewart Graff without Charleton Heston, but why not reboot "Earthquake" for 2020?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
$100? Maybe I'll go to the movies... by myself
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplanation: How Trump's comeback will unfold
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Racer.com)
 
 
 
Well, there is one positive to come out of this pandemic mess: the Indy 500 will not be blacked out in Indianapolis this year
source: racer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Got This Covered)
 
 
 
Krysten Ritter doesn't seem to want to play Jessica Jones anymore. Hopefully, this frees her up to reboot Don't Trust the biatch in Apartment 23
source: wegotthiscovered.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Couple finds out that kissing with their face masks on makes their fellow plane passengers 'want to throw up' rather than getting the normal plane sex in the seats (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Coronavirus may cancel Halloween
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Apparently there's a rift between the White House and Senate Republicans, who can't agree on a unified coronavirus budget plan, that's "lacking agreement on policy goals, budget parameters, or even deadlines." Pretty much EVERYTHING
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 21, 2020
(Vox)
 
 
 
Earthquakes, birds, snakes, aeroplanes, Lenny Bruce, and Leonard Bernstein... other than that, not much
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Like father, like son? Everyone is after Brainwave Jr., but Dad may have plans of his own tonight on Stargirl at 8pm eastern on the CW
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISHTV)
 
 
 
What "presidential" might look like
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Trump plans to sign some executive orders to make it look like he's working
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
There's about to be 960 more people on your LinkedIn profile asking for a job, connection, reference, introduction, etc
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
Swimming's governing body FINA throws a $6.5mil lifeline to its athletes so they won't have to crawl (as much)
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Adobe and IBM team up on the most crashing-est, data-stealing-est, resource-hogging-est, proprietary-formatting-est marketing software EVAR for the banking industry. In other words, their clients love it
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Sozeb, the intergalactic strongman, continues to increase his grapple hold on the human population of planet Earth
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 20, 2020
(The Philadelphia Inquirer)
 
 
 
After its stunning debut in Portland, Trump and DHS plan to take their Naked Federal Power Grab show on the road
source: inquirer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Biden's climate change plan could bring unions to the side of clean energy
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Now that they are finally back at their jobs thousands plan to walk off their jobs
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Army COVID planner says he couldn't have caused more COVID than Texas had if he'd planned it
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Who was that masked man anyway? LGT several videos of man unflinchingly confronting 'officers' in Portland
source: pamplinmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TapInto)
 
 
 
Protip: Don't practice "target shooting" in your hallway with a .22 caliber rifle
source: tapinto.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 19, 2020
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
The President of the United States is declaring that the Supreme Court has given him the right to rule unilaterally and make laws. Let that sink in for a moment
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Putting jet fuel in my propeller plane? What could possibly go wrong?
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stabroek News)
 
 
 
Man hears about the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise, dresses as Darth Vader to collect his lottery jackpot in Jamaica. He plans to build a new Death Star or buy a bus
source: stabroeknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
A simple explanation of what 'defund the police ' means. No crayons required
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 18, 2020
(CBC)
 
 
 
Say hello to the Buffalo Blue Jays of Toronto
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
White House plans to portray a Biden America as a dystopia. Could you imagine protests in the streets, police violence and over a hundred thousand dead from a mismanaged pandemic? Best to just vote for Trump
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplanation: How to survive an attack by an adult or baby shark DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
America's newest bomber planes are 30 years old .. we need to build more bombers. Bomb bomb bombers
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LinkedIn)
 
 
 
Coronavirus is a job creator, says LinkedIn. You can become a COVID contact tracer, a COVID care resource coordinator, a crisis counselor, a life coach, a space planner, a medical product salesperson, a personal shopper, or even a warehouse worker
source: linkedin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump impersonator goes all in on bronzer
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
American Airlines sued for detaining black social worker who was accompanying a white toddler on a court-ordered plane trip. Facepalm tag stands in for many other tags here
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 17, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
You can count on the Scottish census - next year
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPRI Rhode Island)
 
 
 
Smallest state to vote on plantations
source: wpri.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
KFC experimenting with plant-based fried chicken
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science News Magazine)
 
 
 
Sun emitting large campfire flares. The Doomsday Machine, Galactus, Spectre, The Midgard Serpent and the planet Mercury gather round, eat beans and sing "Row Your Boat"
source: sciencenews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food and Wine)
 
 
 
Ikea has begun assembling plant-based meatballs
source: foodandwine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
As coronavirus numbers soar, Trump brags about bringing back incandescent bulbs. Next up: Only the Best Victrolas, The Powerful 2021 Studebaker Lineup, Make America Landlines Again
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Disapproval of Donnie's virus response hits 60% as cases surge. Numbers are also dropping among white evangelical protestants, white men without college degrees, and rural residents. You know, morans
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hollywood "star" Anthony Sabato Jr. announces he's creating a "conservative movie studio" for "all patriots" that will "projects that other Hollywood studios would never do". Kirk Cameron reportedly very excited at the prospect of working again
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 16, 2020
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Gament industry, and meatpacking plants among hardest hit by covid-19. With mass evictions on the horizon, anyone know how the bread and circus industries are holding up?
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Canadian Navy is dropping "seaman" to make a gender-neutral title and quit making us laugh
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Couple caught having sex in bush gets it on their bare sides by wannabe mother superior with a plank of wood (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Trump's new Postmaster General (and former major donor to the president) says mail could start to be delayed as a cost-cutting measure
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
You better believe death planning is a growth market these days
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
RNC to restrict attendance during convention. "This plan includes but is not limited to on-site temperature checks, available PPE, aggressive sanitizing protocols, and available COVID-19 testing"
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Hey y'all, if you are having a crawfish boil, here is how you choose the right pot for it
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Full list of countries welcoming Trumpland tourists back: Mexico, Tunisia, Turkey. That is all. Well, almost. Catch the Maldives before they sink into the Indian Ocean. Ironic tag strikes back
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Nissan says it's going to produce 30% less crappy cars
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Last year my brother died. His wife planned to return to her home country with my nephew, and my parents reacted badly, going so far as to try and kidnap their grandson. She was pregnant at the time too. I'm the only one she contacts. What do I do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Almost 1/3 of all children tested in Florida are positive for Coronavirus
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 15, 2020
(Mashable)
 
 
 
COVID-19 is spiking at the Tesla plant in Fremont, California (Where Elon Musk himself toured unmasked in June)
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
In an unexpected burst Chipotle plans on hiring 10,000
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
We need to realize that flying in an airplane will never be the same again
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Patriots reduce seating capacity to 20 percent for 2020 season due to coronavirus outbreak, lack of Tom Brady and Gronk
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
I thought that ants only stole rubber tree plants and not mail
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 14, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Disturbed that settling the Harvey Weinstein lawsuit would mean some of his victims would never have their day in court, judge tells the New York Attorney General to alter the deal
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Teachers in Florida are preparing their lesson plans, reading lists, living wills in preparation for the upcoming school year
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Bill Gates partners with engineering firm developing new kinds of turbines to minimize the environmental damage of hydroelectric plants and power his 5G network
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplanation: How to have a picnic
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Burger King to battle climate change by A: Using more recyclable packaging? B: Making more plant-based sandwiches? or C: Feeding cows lemongrass?
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Republicans move much of convention to outdoors. Not because of the COVID-19 hoax mind you, but so delegates can enjoy the late August weather in Jacksonville
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Many Republicans still planning to whoop it up and go to the GOP convention in Florida next month despite it having more COVID-19 cases than most countries in the world ...because, "It's a risk you have to take"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Planet Earth is preparing a Mars invasion. Michael Garibaldi is not amused
source: avpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BET)
 
 
 
Not wanting the world to remember her for just stock cheating, Sen. Kelly Loeffler reminds the world that she is also a world-class racist who owns an WNBA team
source: bet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
DeSantis deheckled during depress conference by devoters
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Soon you will be able to pour a Coca-Cola with your smartphone
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The sentient bowtie controlling Tucker Carlson is suddenly going on a long-planned "vacation"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 13, 2020
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Police chief claims man and three officers all just happened to fall down at same time. Has no explanation for the knee on the neck
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Airplanes have always been metal tubes of festering disease. Now they are tubes of fatal disease? Pass, until there's a Rona vaccine
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Elaine Duke, Trump's former former former HHS secretary, secretly defended DACA and killed Trump's plan to end it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Head Cheater pats smaller cheater on head for cheating less. Or better. This may sound crude, but this is the oily world in which we live
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Team of Russian scientists who've apparently never watched 50's sci-fi movies successfully revive plant from 32,000-year-old seeds
source: earthlymission.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Good News Network)
 
 
 
Did you know there's a search engine that plants trees for every search done? This month they planted their 100-millionth tree
source: goodnewsnetwork.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Rep. Ayanna Pressley to Betsy DeVos: "I wouldn't trust you to care for a house plant let alone my child"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
As more people work from home, could offices themselves disappear? No
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Passenger:"I'm going to kill everybody on this plane. Die in the name of Jesus!" Christ, what an asshole
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows has come up with a cunning secret plan to catch staffers leaking information to the press, that's lifted from a Tom Clancy novel. And since you are reading about it here on Fark, you know how well it's working
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 12, 2020
(MassLive)
 
 
 
COVID-19 has severely diminished the strip club experience
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 11, 2020
(TVLine)
 
 
 
Exclusive Snowpiercer finale sneak peek. Sometimes I feel like you people aren't taking this grim dystopian winter train drama seriously enough
source: tvline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
28 out of 30 major league baseball teams have had a positive COVID-19 test. Jobu unavailable for comment
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live5 News Charleston)
 
 
 
South Carolina governor bans alcohol sales after 11:00 PM in attempt to curb surging COVID numbers. Virus reportedly planning to pregame a little earlier from now on
source: live5news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 10, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Tyson plans to begin using "robot butchers." We all know how this will end, right?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
There is no plan
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Wag the dog : US plans south china sea announcement next week
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Old 'n busted: Planet Nine on the outskirts of our solar system. New 2020 timeline inevitable darkness: it's a teensy black hole
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump: Biden plagiarized my economic plan that I didn't release until after he had already released his
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Large group of naked teenagers spotted frolicking. In other news, England has a city named after tall bipedal snow reptiles, indigenous to the ice planet Hoth (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
The discovery of electrical signaling between tomato plants has some researchers looking for answers, others ahhnswers
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Definitely better than typing your thesis on a ZX Spectrum keyboard it's the Friday Fark Gaming Thread. Killing Floor 2, Lifeless Planet & The Escapists 2 free at Epic. What have you been playing? Side note: games you've gotten others hooked on?
source: epicgames.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Julia Sawalha, an actress in the original Chicken Run, accuses producers of ageism after she was dropped from the sequel with no explanation, assures everyone she's not a racist psycho like Mel Gibson
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
MLB didn't test players and staff coming from the Dominican Republic before they got on the plane. You know what happens next
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
New Zealand went hard and early to bring their plan to a climax. Coincidentally that is how to describes subbie's love life
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 09, 2020
(The Drive)
 
 
 
The F-35 has triggered the biggest change in the Navy's esteemed TOPGUN fighter weapons school, with new graduates being versed in the modern tactics of sitting in the barracks waiting for their planes to be able to fly
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
China decides it's not playing any games this year
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Mike Pence has a 'cunning' plan to save Trump and his own vice presidency. Let's see how that works out for him in November
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Biden to announce economic plan today including reversing some Trump tax cuts for corporations and imposing "common-sense tax reforms that finally make sure the wealthiest Americans pay their fair share"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Planned Parenthood wishes it could abort Kanye West
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Amy McGrath doesn't need to win, she just needs to force Mitch to spend $80 million in Kentucky that he was planning to spend helping other Republican Senate races nationwide
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 08, 2020
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Happy couple celebrate socially-distanced wedding with champagne in plastic cups & cake served from the back of a 4x4, topped off with a trip to a service station on the way to Brighton. As this is the UK, some would call that 'showing off'
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Chancellor gives diners 50% off on eating out. Your survival percentages may vary
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Walgreens plans to open 700 primary care practices. The strategy here is to just overwhelm any disease or injury with paperwork
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
United States senator discovers firsthand that airplanes have middle seats and, man, do they ever suck during a pandemic
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
For all of you waiting breathlessly to hear the news, Maryland Governor Larry Hogan has just announced he plans to run for president in 2024. Oh, none of you were waiting breathlessly for that news? Oh, okay then. Carry on
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
Army of robots cheerlead a baseball game before hunting down and killing the losing team (video)
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
National security advisor : Trump planning to wag the dog on China
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Trump plans to have statues at his future rallies. No word on which dictators will be represented
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Colorado governor says he plans to mass pardon anyone convicted of possession of less than 2 ounces of marijuana. Extra Spiffy: Bill also removes barriers to entering the marijuana business for those convicted of marijuana crimes
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YardBarker)
 
 
 
NHL playoffs will have 6 games a DAY. Goodbye Liver
source: yardbarker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplanation: Why does shiat keep blowing up in Iran?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The dumbest movie of 2020 is a heist caper taking place on a plane, starring Kelsey Grammer that is called, quite simply, "Money Plane"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
Air Force pilot pulls a Bart Simpson before there was a Bart Simpson. Difficulty: He used an airplane instead of a tank and a missile instead of a shell. Fark: No MLB spy satellites were destroyed... this time
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Trump planning to change the size of Republican convention once he finds out how many aren't going
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
In which the UK government announces bold plans to charge NHS employees for parking while at work
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 07, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
Bayer's Roundup-Cancer settlement plan may need a couple of tylenol
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Curiosity Mars rover's summer road trip has begun, expect copious selfies with the Red Planet's Biggest Ball of Yarn and Uncle Phobos' Mystery Face very soon
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
UT Austin, which is currently planning to have students in dorms and in F2F classes, and which has no real plan for what to do about bathrooms other than have custodial staff clean them a lot....just had its first death from COVID. A custodian
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IMDB)
 
 
 
The fledgling Justice Society of America v2 needs an extra episode just to handle the Mean Girl at their school, and they think they can take on the Injustice Society? Time for DC's Stargirl to come clean to Mom tonight at 8 Eastern on the CW?
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Behind the sun's secret plan to become a lithium factory, smell like teen spirit
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
One more sign that we are truly living in the Endtimes: the NHL and NHLPA came to a consensus on the CBA without a strike or lockout
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
After winning 2019 NFL MVP award, Lamar Jackson planning on sitting out 2020 season
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Desean Jackson is the next contestant on "Is it CTE or just asshole?"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
So how does a NFL lineman escape a high calorie diet plan and transform once they retire?
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Months of 24/7 work from home parenting have led to the realization that open floor plans, where the only privacy is in your bathroom, don't work in the Covid-19 work world
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
WNBA to spend season showing support for social justice, good fundamentals
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 06, 2020
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on RAW, Asuka & Bayley face of in a "Champion vs Champion" match. A new U.S. title belt to be unveiled, Seth continues his plan to sacrifice Rey (or his son) and who called for a partial 3MB reunion? It all starts at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Two thirds of Georgia Tech's faculty have been turned into rambling wrecks upon hearing the news that the university plans to reopen its campus
source: gpbnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trek Movie)
 
 
 
US Naval Academy professor details why Star Trek: Picard explains our best plan going forward. Make it so
source: trekmovie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Glenn Beck: My meeting with God to discuss plans for 'a new covenant' is delayed because of Covid-19
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Facebook is not a mirror. It's a gun. Unlicensed, out of control, in the hands of 2.6 billion people across the planet"
source: amp.theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Area columnist passionate defender of what he imagines Trump's agenda to be
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 05, 2020
(Nikkei Asia Review)
 
 
 
An anagram of 'US-Mexico-Canada free trade agreement' is 'Maniac Coaxed Us, Regret Defeat Near Me'. Japan realizes that it's cheaper to triple Mexican wages than build new US plants
source: asia.nikkei.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Fireworks show in Plano, TX decides to try a new ground level presentation
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Facepalming Guy)
 
 
 
Antivaxxers gonna antivax
source: matzav.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 04, 2020
(IMSA)
 
 
 
Race Day Round 3: IMSA WeatherTech 240 from rainy Daytona
source: imsa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"We ain't paying crap," declares local idiot of the fines incurred while operating dine-in restaurant during shutdown
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 03, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
BoJo wants to look like a bigger idiot, may air press briefings
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Private plane full of rich American plague rats rejected from Italy
source: wantedinrome.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Anyone in SD planning to go heckle this shiatshow? I feel like such a thing ought to happen
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Instagram)
 
 
 
With quarantine crapping on our July 4th plans, here's Paula Deen to the rescue with a Lemon Berry Trifle recipe. Keep searching for Fried Butter Balls with Butter Sauce recipe...because butter
source: instagram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Our friends at Rolling Stone created a Spotify playlist to make your plants happy. Your Venus Flytrap wants steak
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Native American author wants you to know that Trumps rally at Mount Rushmore on the 4th of July is just as bad as Trump original plan to hold a rally in Tulsa on Juneteenth
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Gettysburg cops forced to continually address fake Antifa plot
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 02, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
McDonald's McPauses its U.S. reopening McPlans
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Tammy Duckworth says she'll block military confirmations until Defense Secretary Mark Esper promotes Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman to full Colonel
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
The planning phase for school reopenings in the San Francisco Bay Area is proceeding in the stupidest but somehow most appropriate possible way
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Thank you for your interest in turning on your seat heaters. Would you like to purchase a one day use pass for $8, season pass for $99, or a lifetime pass for $499? Lifetime pass includes one free day pass for the passenger seat
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Astronomers spot planets dancing around each other, say it might be time to queue up Hammer Time to welcome this discovery
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The pain in Spain is coming mainly from the empty plane
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Europe's power grid is getting bigger, and its plants are getting smalllllller
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Westword)
 
 
 
Denver plans to create designated urban camping sites for the homeless, in a decision which will surely end well
source: westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Zuck will not be bullied by corporations, plans to keep Facebook as a haven for hate speech. Figures the ad money will return if he can help shape another election by spreading misinformation to older voters
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
That latest glow from Iran's Natanz nuke plant? Just a fire - no biggie
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Exposed core of gas giant planet, like Neptune, seen for first time. No word on if this theory applies to Uranus
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 01, 2020
(TimeOut)
 
 
 
Because NYC totally has loads of free cash just lying around, urban planners are talking up a new car-free bridge to Manhattan
source: timeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Airlines resume full flights, noting that you can't actually social distance on a plane. In other words, every time you get on a plane, you're marinating in one of my farts
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
VW abandons Turkey factory plan, remembering they are a car manufacturer not a poultry processor
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
"Are you TRYING to be stupid?" No, it's effortless
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
Only 50% of Americans plan to get the Coronavirus vaccine once it's available. Also, here's the Venn diagram of those Americans and Trump supporters: ●
source: sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWCH Wichita)
 
 
 
Kansas decides to go forward with the coronavirus petri dish known as its State Fair
source: kwch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 30, 2020
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Mary Trump's Dirty Family Secrets book temporarily held up in court. Suggested Plan B: leak the book online, GoFundMe tip jar
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
A Chinese satellite observed the 2019 solar eclipse that spelled doom for the entire planet Earth
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Biden invites Fauci to extend his service when he beats Donnie on election day. Countdown to Donnie firing Fauci 10,9,8,7
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
BoJo announces bold plan to toss $10 billion at Coronavirus to see if a cash bribe will make it go away (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Is it more impressive that the monkey survived or that someone taught a pig how to do transplants? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Wtf: Desantis has to veto bill allowing towns to ban sunscreen. Reality: Some sunscreens cause coral reef bleaching and they're only banning specific types
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Apparently using a rubber chicken to operate the plane throttle is unprofessional for a pilot when you have hundreds of people on board ...although pilot Captain Clarence Oveur would probably disagree
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Iowa football: where the coach's son gets to repeatedly ask a black player if he is robbing a liquor store or a gas station when the player wears a black team-issued wool cap. Allegedly
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
[second term plan goes here]
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Major Harry Potter game release next year. Subby plans to spam expelliarmus until he wins
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 29, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
House of Representatives planning to strengthen contempt rules for Administration from "stern looks of disapproval" to "loud harrumphing and stern letters"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Knucklehead crowds at bars ruin it for everyone in NJ who just wanted to go out to a restaurant for a meal without inhaling fumes from Highway 9
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Pulse)
 
 
 
So with COVID-19 flaring up across the country, Americans are planning on drastically curtailing summer travel plans, right? Right? AAA: "Yeah, about that"
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
How does the paradise tree snake fly without a motherfarking plane?
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Messy Nessy Chic)
 
 
 
#12 will blow your mind
source: messynessychic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DeadState)
 
 
 
For some reason, someone thought it was important to publish what Michelle Bachmann thinks about current affairs, and yep, it's as nutballz as you would imagine
source: deadstate.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Hoboken to get its own navy submarine to take aim at NYC
source: wcbs880.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Your execution is a go, we have a greenlight
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 28, 2020
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The Madlibs headlines will get out of control. They will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Airlines CEOs went to the White House to try to convince Trump to have mandatory temperature checks at airports. Good luck with that
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 27, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
OB-GYN performs ultrasound exam: "Either I'm still totally wasted from last night's party or you're having two uteruses"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Bill Barr directs staff to create special antifa task force. Bigfoot and martian invader task forces still in initial planning stages
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Italy bans the use of overhead storage in airplanes as a virus risk. Your briefcase must now be taken literally
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 26, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Drugmaker Sanofi planning to cut up to 1,680 jobs in Europe, retain its entire lobbyist staff in the US
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(Reuters)
 
 
 
Drugmaker Sanofi planning to cut up to 1,680 jobs in Europe, retain its entire lobbyist staff in the US
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Game recognizes game: Man City plan to give Premier League champs Liverpool FC a guard of honor when they visit next week. "Managers not only feel it is the sporting thing to do, but they also use it as motivation to their own players"
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Meanwhile the covid crisis continues to crush Canada. Wait, what's that? Only a 100 or so cases in all of Ontario today... Make that, Canada continues to crush the covid
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Oh, joy, Trump's calling legal protesters terrorists and vows to protect consolation prizes for racists
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 25, 2020
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
6pm Eastern it's the Fark News Livestream. MSM is throwing around the term "apocalyptic" again, My Little Pony laser attacks, and although no one planned it this way, Macaque Week continues
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
Look, Shaun King May be a grifter, but a private Facebook group run by cops openly planning his murder may be a bridge too far also defund the police
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MacRumors)
 
 
 
Apple set off on a lifeboat from the HMS Intel when it saw that the ship was going down
source: macrumors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Texas governor ordered all licensed hospitals in the hard-hit Bexar, Dallas, Harris and Travis counties to postpone elective procedures but still thinks it's enough of a hoax to not fully stop reopening plans
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Not the Onion: Lucas County Man Worries Retirement Plan Is Sitting On Ancient Burial Mound
source: who13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Mexican entrepreneurs invent way to fashion vegan leather from cactus, such that goods feature buttery smooth texture and flexibility. Don't question their business plan, they get kinda prickly
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 24, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Trump Administration: STATES ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR FIGHTING THE COVID-19 New Jersey: Fine. All travelers to New Jersey must self-quarantine for 14 days. President Cartman: WAHATEVAH I DO WHAT I WANT
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Trump's White House wins ruling on health care, and surprisingly it's not a plan to grind up newborn babies to power Kellyanne Conway's soul for another week, it's actually . . . huh, it's actually a good thing? Is that possible?
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Looks like the coronavirus prefers meatpacking plants as an outbreak in Germany forces part of the country to go back into lockdown
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYC Mayor Bill de Blasio is reportedly planning to install a massive Black Lives Matter mural right outside Trump Tower in Manhattan to try to save face with the city he's helped to destroy
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Best Korea suspends plans for complete and utter asskicking
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delish.com)
 
 
 
Costco pausing sales of half-sheet cakes. Redneck wedding planners inconsolable
source: delish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 23, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Starbucks adds plant-based meat to US menu. No word on meat-based coffee...yet
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Kim John-Un plans aerial assault on Worst Korea using loud music, cigarette butts. Might have just been cheaper to announce a kegger in Seoul on Facebook (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Utah state epidemiologist warns state may have to shut down in order to contain a surge in COVID-19. Residents not expected to notice a difference
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Ammon Bundy plans to take over the Idaho House tonight, declare a "special session" and reverse actions to contain coronavirus. And elected Republicans plan to assist
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Florida man tries to steal a plane to take marijuana to California to meet his girlfriend, which sounds like the best stoned idea ever. No word on how many Doritos were onboard
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplanation: Why Cheers was a great television show
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Delta Air Lines confirms 500 employees test positive for COVID-19, at least 10 have died. United Airlines too busy throwing people off planes to comment
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Bruce Willis prepares to take nuclear power plant hostage in new thriller "Reactor." Gone Fission would have made a better title
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Actual headline because this is farking 2020: Mississippi governor rejects 'separate but equal' 2-flag plan
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
White nationalist Richard Spencer officially has a fool for a client
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Some nights, the audience just sits there like a bunch of potted plants
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 22, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it You know, I just... *do* things
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Huh, SDNY just indicted a US Army private for planning a neo-nazi themed ambush of his fellow unit
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Hey Floridians. Remember how your Governor instituted a 14-day coronavirus quarantine directive for New Yorkers? Andrew Cuomo remembers
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
Protesters say the Robert Moses statue on Long Island needs to be torn down for his inhumanity to the architecture of New York, because the'master builders' plans were based on racism
source: 1010wins.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Trump expected to suspend visas for tech workers, research scholars, and professors. Finally American experts on the Battle of Versinikia will get their chance in academia
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(Thread Reader)
 
 
 
The K-Pop/TikTok plan to book tickets for Trump's rally's main effect wasn't to deny people tickets to the arena. What the kids did to the Trump campaign was worse: they wrecked their voter tracking and id system
source: threadreaderapp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Arkansas Tyson plant forced to remain open to feed China faced with a new dilemma as 200 workers test positive for Coronavirus and China refuses to accept their chicken imports
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Sure a solar eclipse from the ground is neat but have you ever seen one from a plane?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Noose found in Bubba Wallace's garage at Talladega speedway this afternoon. Between the confederate flag being pulled over the speedway by a plane and confederate flags outside the track there may be opposition for some fans joining the 21st century
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Spy)
 
 
 
Halloween sequel sequel sequel delayed due to Coronavirus
source: digitalspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 20, 2020
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
230 plant employees receive positive results for Covid-19. Remaining two-thirds of workers sadly still on Dole
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Florida's Covid-19 surge shows the state's reopening plan is not working." Wait...Florida had a plan?
source: amp.theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Trump's 2020 plan: lie, cheat, and steal
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Infectious Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop the 'BioVYZR' into some New Age setting, like planes, trains, buses, group activites
source: vyzrtech.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(American Military News)
 
 
 
Black gun owners plan pro-Second Amendment walk in Oklahoma and what could possibly go wrong?
source: americanmilitarynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
North Korea decides to handle South Korea by deploying their most powerful weapon...Leaflets of Punishment
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
School gives students homework assignment on how to plan their own funeral. Was that wrong ... was it too ghoulish?
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 19, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
U.S. Attorney to Trump: "No"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bronx Times)
 
 
 
It's the safest possible time to go into an Italian-food coma in the middle of Arthur Avenue
source: bxtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Biden plans to formally accept the Democratic presidential nomination in person at scaled-back convention in Milwaukee
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Start up company plans space tourism flights in high-altitude balloon. Bonus: it comes complete with a bar and a restroom to barf in just in case you want to get blotto at 100,000 feet
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Camden, NJ turns its lonely eyes to Woodrow Wilson
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Kid Rock's "Big Honky Tonk Steakhouse" in Nashville, TN has its beer permit yanked for Covid-related health code violations. In other news, simply being a restaurant owned by Kid Rock somehow isn't its own health code violation
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Tulsa mayor officially declares civil emergency ahead of Trump rally. Inofficial narionwide civil emergency still in effect and presumably to stay in place until January 20th 2021
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Plan? Like to keep people from getting each other sick? Oh, Tulsa BOK Center arena, you sweet summer child. P.S.: Don't hold your breath for payment, either
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Florida Keys plans killer insect attack on disease-carrying mosquitoes. What could possibly go wrong, nothing like a hoard of mutant disease-carrying killer mosquitoes or anything
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you live in a state that Clinton won, you're on the road to recovery. Trumplandia? Boy are you guys f*cked
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
Boreal forests aren't just the planet's lungs. They also make it rain and pass wind. Wait, what?
source: sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Nissan Motor Co to cut shifts at three assembly plants in Japan due to falling demand
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Lisa Rinna wears nothing but sunglasses in naked photoshoot and I could have stopped after the word nothing, right? Certainly after naked. So any plans for Father's Day weekend? [NSFW]
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ScreenCrush)
 
 
 
Filmmaker rents out a movie theater, buys every seat, and shows his short film, becomes the top film in the country for the week. BRILLIANT
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Thu June 18, 2020
(The Oatmeal)
 
 
 
Now seems like a good time to remind people that The Oatmeal has a plan to replace Columbus Day
source: theoatmeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politifact)
 
 
 
It's a noble effort, Politifact, but if you are going to try to fact-check every random idiot who posts on Facebook, well, you might want to cancel your dinner plans between now and the heat death of the universe
source: politifact.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(McSweeney's)
 
 
 
Just because they've turned against humanity doesn't mean we should defund the Terminator program
source: mcsweeneys.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Keep in mind the source for all this is a Cap'n Crunch look-alike who refused to testify when it could have mattered, but, Bolton claims Trump enthusiastically endorsed China's plans to build concentration camps to house millions of Uighur Muslims
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook