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headlines found matching 'Parent'
Sat October 23, 2021
(Fox 8 New Orleans)
 
 
 
Sixteen-year-old forges consent form to get a Covid shot; Lawyer suing hospital: "The egregious and reckless actions [...] went well beyond any legal or moral bounds and, at a minimum, constitute a battery upon the minor child." Lighten up, Francis
source: fox8live.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Our teenager is sneaking sleeping pills. What do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 22, 2021
(The Hill)
 
 
 
If you're going to point out a reporter's "aggressively Asian face" you probably shouldn't do it on your radio show, right Stephen Crowder? Oh, and while we're at it, playing at Schroedinger's d-bag at the end of the segment is really transparent
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Apparently it was so 'good to be the king' of Spain that Juan Carlos had to be injected with female hormones because of his rampant sex drive
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Apparently Iranians are big fans of Marilyn Monroe, Campbells Soup cans, and avant-garde '70s American pop art
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
So apparently the only recourse against Nazis is to sue them into oblivion
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 21, 2021
(Independent)
 
 
 
That anti-vax couple who died leaving five kids behind are not really dead, according to anti-vaxxers who are a totally reliable source
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
A reminder: Opposition to critical race theory in schools where it isn't taught is just racism masquerading as parental concern
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Chili's parent boosting prices higher than expected, expecting a frosty reception
source: morningstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
In other news, there are apparently apartments for sale on superyachts. Mail must suck though
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 20, 2021
(NPR)
 
 
 
Alexei Navalny wins the Sakharov Prize, which apparently isn't just slang for being locked up in Russia
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Town Talk)
 
 
 
Louisiana school board member: "You believe what you want to. I do not believe [the CDC is] a legitimate organization." Public health director: "Well, I can't help other people's ignorance." Tag is for public health director
source: thetowntalk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
California school: Want your students to eat their lunch indoors and out of the rain? WELL, TOO DAMN BAD
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
California school: Want your students to eat their lunch indoors and out of the rain? WELL, TOO DAMN BAD
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"Those lost." Apparently Washington State Troopers who were fired for not getting vaccinated were also executed
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Museum starts OnlyFans account after TikTok censors its 3,000-year-old artwork. Internet prudishness has gotten out of hand (NSFW, apparently)
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 19, 2021
(Vice)
 
 
 
Apparently being a drug dealer is nerve-wracking and not a lot of fun
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quinnipiac University)
 
 
 
Apparently the horse paste is making things worse, the latest Quinnipiac Poll says now 78% of Republicans want Trump to run again in 2024, compared to 66 percent in May
source: poll.qu.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sci Tech Daily)
 
 
 
NASA's Perseverance Rover captures the sounds of Mars, which apparently include the voices of a surly GenX scientist and a chipper young lesbian, who were presumably flown to Mars just to record this video
source: scitechdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Step 1: Protest against CRT being taught in schools. Step 2: Protest against equal educational opportunities for all students
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Step 1: Protest against CRT being taught in schools. Step 2: Protest against equal educational opportunities for all students
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man told by council to trim his 'obscene' bush of 18 years that flips off the local punters at pub opposite his home. Apparently the punters like getting flipped off because they've started a drive to save it
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 18, 2021
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman gets turned down for job she applied for 8 years ago, apparently gets stitches or something
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
As the child of divorced parents, Northern Ireland is getting lavish gifts, guilt trips, and is playing one side off the other. But now, abusive Dad is petitioning for full custody
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
China sending parents of children who display "very bad behavior" to re-education camps. Subby's parents would be in permanent detention
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"I am ashamed to admit that I am frustrated with my oldest son. He stopped taking his antidepressants, he won't help with chores or take responsibility, and I am exhausted with him. Am I being a terrible parent?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Do I have to bond with my mom's new husband's family?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Manchin: You know what? F*ck those working parents too. Bunch of ingrates they are
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 17, 2021
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Morons are mad at Fauci because Fauci keeps calling them morons. Apparently, the truth does hurt
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Apparently "died in the line of duty" includes "didn't get vaxxed and died of COVID"
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 16, 2021
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Noise Factor is back at 11PM ET and kicks off with brand new Ministry from their new album. The days are getting darker and so is the show, apparently. We'll also hear from Isis, Void Vator, High on Fire, and Joe Satriani? Yes Tune in
source: bigeradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 15, 2021
(Philadelphia Magazine)
 
 
 
In a new federal lawsuit, parents call school masking a "Satanic ritual." But the official Church of Satan says not so fast
source: phillymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
In Gilead, pregnant teenagers required to give birth
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
Apparently, paternity leave is a joke to Tucker Carlson
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 14, 2021
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
I guess it's time to break out the Black Flag roach spray
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Luxury brand Coach will stop destroying unwanted goods following TikTok outrage. Also "TikTok outrage" is apparently now a thing
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through a pandemic, son, but that's what we all did apparently
source: kfiam640.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplanation: Why we shouldn't think of this anti-vaxxing idiot who hasn't yet gotten herself or her children vaccinated as an anti-vaxxing idiot, but just a "super hesitant" idiot instead
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 13, 2021
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
White House tells states to get ready for vaccination protests by parents who want to kill their children
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Conservatives attempt to defend John Eastman, who said Kamala Harris was ineligible for national office because her parents were immigrants. Let's see how that's going...oh my
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Headline: How being an older parent could be beneficial for offspring. Actual article: it's good to be a British roundworm (NOT a euphemism)
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Headline: How being an older parent could be beneficial for offspring. Actual article: it's good to be a British roundworm (NOT a euphemism)
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Going postal is apparently back in fashion
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 12, 2021
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Apparently Fox Business thinks that if you say "Stagflation" in front of a mirror enough times, Nixon's ghost will appear and start its rampage to secure the robot vote
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
150 years ago Mrs. O'Leary went to bed in her Chicago home without making sure her cow was cool with leaving the lantern on. What could possibly go wrong? Apparently everything
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Apparently when you steal $2 billion, you can afford some pretty good lawyers: Attorneys for WeWork founder Adam Neumann get HBO to remove the "true crime" tag from a documentary about his company since he hasn't actually been charged- yet
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Students encouraged to wear red, white, and blue to school to honor their country. Perhaps something should have been said about the arrangement of those colors
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Shiat gets real for mask-denying schools, as parents with Covid-positive kids say "see you in court" for "recklessly exposing the public" to Covid
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 11, 2021
(Guardian)
 
 
 
First of all, there are only three horsemen of this particular Apocalypse, apparently
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(It's All Marvel)
 
 
 
Eternals tickets are now on sale; title apparently is not a reference to the movie's length
source: itsallmarvel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
Do not be this parent
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
Do not be this parent
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dexerto)
 
 
 
Justin Bieber mocks Tom Cruise playing guitar, apparently unaware that Tom Cruise doesn't play guitar
source: dexerto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Three years later, at least 1,000 children have not been returned to their parents after having been separated at the border. Why? The Trump administration barely bothered to keep any records
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 10, 2021
(Space News)
 
 
 
Apparently valves are important. Who knew?
source: spacenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Is it acceptable to use Fark whilst intoxicated?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 09, 2021
(Some)
 
 
 
Anyone caring for a partner or parent with dementia? Any resources that have helped you cope? Any resources you've found that have helped you better understand the disease? Any resources you've found that help you communicate better with the person?
source: mayoclinic.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
White parents in Missouri outraged that teaching slavery makes their children feel bad
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
While dozens of other wealthy parents pled guilty in the "Varsity Blues" college-admission scandal, two dads boldly insisted on taking their cases to trial. Let's see how that turned out
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 08, 2021
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Kids miss school due to bus driver shortage. Grandpa owns a limo service. No word on how much blow the kids did on the way to PS139
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Loudwire)
 
 
 
Won't someone please think of the \m/ children? Tag is for the mom
source: loudwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Apparently you have to have a permit for a swimming pool. Well, one on wheels to be specific
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inc)
 
 
 
Want to encourage your team at work? Well don't, as apparently that is "toxic positivity". Just get intoxicated, instead
source: inc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
Mixed results reported during Golden Week for Chinese crackdown on kid video gaming. Student reveals, "Most kids have access to adult accounts.... People have secretly registered adult accounts by stealing and using their parents' national IDs"
source: asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"I moved in with a roommate; I was grossly mislead about the living situation, which includes an abusive parent and a high level of toxicity. I can leave, but do I do that to my friend?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
How long before Rand Paul and Ron DeSantis start buying stock in orphanages?
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 07, 2021
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The food scientists at Mars candy haven't rested on their laurels, apparently, just waiting to give you diabetes, the Snickers people are ready to introduce to you: The cinnamon bun Snickers
source: hypebeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Apparently we've been screwing up the climate for a lot longer than previously thought
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 06, 2021
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Why do bad people seem to have such an extravagant supply of free time?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Apparently there are thousands of people who want Dungeons and Dragons to switch to the metric system
source: belloflostsouls.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 05, 2021
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Doctors find bizarre 10cm cement chunk poking its way through man's heart. Apparently another doctor was trying to build a dam in prior surgery
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 04, 2021
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Have you seen Netflix's Squid Game? Not if you've watched the English subtitles, apparently
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Sunscreen recalled for containing carcinogens. Apparently something that protects you from skin cancer isn't supposed to cause cancer while doing so. Who knew?
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Having lost the hotel market, USA Today parent Gannett is offering $400mil of five-year high-yield multi-colored pictographed bonds
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 03, 2021
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Joseph Gordon-Levitt's dramedy canceled by Apple after one season and 10 episodes. In related news, Joseph Gordon-Levitt apparently had a dramedy on Apple TV+
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Root)
 
 
 
Texas Governor Abbott apparently has some second-thoughts about the new uber-restrictive voting "rights" bill he just signed into law ... because it's not draconian enough
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 02, 2021
(Guardian)
 
 
 
So apparently climate activism isn't making judges rich. Who knew?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
People use ID card that apparently says they got vaccinated by Jean-Luc Picard of the United Federation of Planets. But they got arrested anyway
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Mother makes her son's lunch to his specifications and earns praise
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
So apparently climate activism isn't radical enough. Who knew?
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 01, 2021
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Scientists reveal hidden passages of letters written by Marie Antoinette; apparently, it's good to be the queen
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Right-wing rag imagines what Democrat said. Sean Hannity nods, William F. Buckley spins
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
After parents, toddler and dog were found dead on a hike, authorities have ruled out lightning, drugs, alcohol, cyanide and gas poisoning. Still haven't ruled out toxic algae, Novichok, and aliens
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 30, 2021
(Military.com)
 
 
 
Space Farce is still on, apparently
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
School system warns parents: If you thought the "Devious Licks" TikTok challenge was bad wait until December for the "Deck the halls and show your balls" challenge
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Katie Couric apparently has no farks left
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Let's Encrypt's Root CA has expired, potentially leaving thousands of sites using their certificate chain unusable. Theoretically, nothing should happen, and this will be transparent to user....... +++ CARRIER LOST +++
source: scotthelme.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 29, 2021
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida Highway Patrol has certain standards on how to haul a couch and apparently this does not meet them
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'Do you distrust Americans so much that you need to know when they bought a couch?' apparently the IRS is now launching 'The Couch Wars''
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Murder suspect shot after multi agency investigation. Well, at least they investigated first
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Iowa parents outraged over mask mandates threaten to unenroll their children from school districts
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 28, 2021
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Jimmy Hoffa, who's apparently been driving a truck in Bulgaria all this time, tells the UK to sod off
source: thelondoneconomic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Apparently, G.I. Joe is poaching UK lorry drivers, probably to undermine Destro's M.A.R.S. Industries
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
This apparently passed through the news without much notice: DUI charge against Alan West's wife dismissed because blood toxicology reveals zero alcohol and zero drug intoxication
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Extraterrestrials apparently have starships and time travel, but not dentures (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
The twelve biggest bombshell revelations from the Netflix Britney Spears documentary. Apparently, she didn't actually do it again
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 27, 2021
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Actor Jake Gyllenhaal, on rumors that he doesn't bathe: "I've never been accused of being smelly." Sounds suspiciously like something a smelly celebrity might say
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Apparently pumpkin seeds have nipples, Greg
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man assaults wife after facetime sex romp. Apparently it wasn't the face that was the part in question
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Wikipedia parent's new CEO, inventor of pizza, and Timelord of Mars wants to make it more global according to President Lincl-BABABOOEY
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"My parents banned all social media when I was a child, and I am glad they did"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KnoxNews)
 
 
 
Knox County, TN schools closed Monday because parents are idiots
source: amp.knoxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun September 26, 2021
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Libraries aren't the bastions of sense and neutrality you'd think
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 25, 2021
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Nostradamus who accurately predicted, in May 2016, what a Trump presidency would look like now offers his glimpse of a Trump candidacy in 2024 and pens a strongly-written letter as a plea to Republicans to prevent our slide into fascism
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
The Daily Show gets anti-mask parents to make fools of themselves
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Apparently "gone missing" is a new COVID symptom. Side note: interesting that this story isn't plastered all over the news. Wonder why
source: amp.tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 24, 2021
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Lunatic car company CEO no longer in relationship with absurd pseudo-surrealist bohemian because of outer space
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Apparently selling pillows for infants that kill said infants is not a good business plan
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman tries to explain the concept of swinging to people who are satisfied with one partner
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Myanmar will imprison children if their parents hold contrary political beliefs
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Screen Rant)
 
 
 
Apparently, re: Michael Burnham, Spock served Picard the tea, Earl Grey, extra-hot
source: screenrant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Wire)
 
 
 
Marvel says the "men" in "X-Men" is outdated and non-inclusive. Apparently someone watched Deadpool 2
source: dailywire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
John Stossel sues Facebook for slapping a tag on his post warning readers that the post was misleading and lacked the proper context. Apparently he's unfamiliar with the legal maxim "the truth is a perfect defense to libel"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
FBI intensifies manhunt with federal arrest warrant for Brian Laundrie. Apparently, he forget the dead can't use debit cards
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 23, 2021
(The Hill)
 
 
 
"Dutch boy gets court permission for vaccine amid parents' disagreement." Son-of-a--- They're sneaking it into our PAINT now?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Kansas City parents outraged by children's book at public library that's been there since 1994
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
The Seattle Van Gogh show fails to materialize, with ticket holders losing their money. While the Better Business Bureau warned of red flags about the event, apparently customers only listened with one ear
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Apparently, Elizabeth Holmes (of Theranos) was dating Chad from SNL
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 22, 2021
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Every node of this supply chain is maxed out. This is why we literally can't have nice things
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7Amarillo)
 
 
 
Styrofoam shortage impacting restaurants, as apparently there's nothing else to make a take-out cup out of
source: abc7amarillo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Teachers across America have put up with a lot over the last forty years, but a pandemic with half the parents virulently anti-vaxx, and anti-mask? Fark your crotchfruit, we're out. Enjoy your country... if you can spell it
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Introducing Reese's Law, new legislation designed to help protect infants from parents who allow them to eat Lithium or button batteries. Presumably by removing them from said parents?
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 21, 2021
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
YouTube bans anti-mask Michigan gubernatorial candidate who apparently just graduated from the Uncanny Valley School of Normal Realistic Human Smiling
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
In Singapore, creepy clowns are hanging around elementary schools to get kids to sign up for speech classes. Because apparently sending out "free candy" vans didn't work
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Apparently "Evergrande" is Mandarin for "Lehman Brothers"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
DC Schools: Kids can't be vaccinated, but having them wear masks all day is hard so we're not gonna. Parents: Then we want to enroll in virtual learning. Schools: No, not possible. Parents: Then we'll keep them home. Schools: OK, CPS report it is
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mary Sue)
 
 
 
Good parenting is getting a vampire to serenade your child into proper oral hygiene
source: themarysue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
Ohio considers using National Guard to drive school buses, apparently forgetting the National Guard's rich history of interacting with students in Ohio
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 20, 2021
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Hot Fuzz was apparently a documentary
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cosmopolitan)
 
 
 
Simpsons did it
source: cosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Try not to Sub any Poena on your way to the parking lot, Eric
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun September 19, 2021
(Salon)
 
 
 
Apparently the creative team behind "Joe Camel" ended up working for gun makers "We're targeting the six- to 12-year-old range and feel that...the child can use the rifle, potentially out to 15 years old"
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 17, 2021
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Nathan Ake's father passes away after his son scores his first Champions League goal. "Maybe it was meant to be, watching me play always made him proud and happy"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Custody is the one word to avoid in a divorce, but oddly not because that is what you feel like you're in when you have the kids
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Custody is the one word to avoid in a divorce, but oddly not because that is what you feel like you're in when you have the kids
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Apparently, "IT'S PROTECTING YOU JACKHOLE, NOW MIND YOUR OWN FU***NG BUSINESS YOU SELFISH, UNVACCINATED PLAGUE RAT ASSH***" is not the preferred response to, "Why are you wearing a mask?" I guess that's half the battle
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently, Mike Pence really is this delusional
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
There's a Lunchables shortage. OMG WHAT WILL OUR CHILDREN EAT? WILL THEY STARVE???
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Apparently Jessica Alba's company Honest... wasn't
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 16, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
"GET OFF YOUR PHONE Your child is happy to see you Are you happy to see your child?" At least, that's what I think it said...hang on, lemme answer this text, and check my email, then see how many views my TikTok video has
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"GET OFF YOUR PHONE Your child is happy to see you Are you happy to see your child?" At least, that's what I think it said...hang on, lemme answer this text, and check my email, then see how many views my TikTok video has
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The Alex Murdaugh saga takes another turn as the death three years ago of a longtime housekeeper and nanny for the family will be the subject of a criminal investigation. Apparently he wanted to Murdaugh everyone
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ancient nope caring for her nope offspring has been fueling nopey nightmares for 99 million years
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Apparently antivaxxer is a race now
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Civil Rights Movement)
 
 
 
Fox News: If you are not vaccinated, you are getting Covid tested daily. Also Fox News: PARENTS GET VACCINE WAIVERS FOR YOUR CHILDREN AND AVOID POLITICS IN SCHOOL
source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"My mother's gynecologist used his own sperm to inseminate her, which I just discovered after he's been my own gynecologist for years"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Yeah, well let me know when you can do a family of eight on $50. Good but poor parents already know all the tricks
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
New TikTok meme is apparently to just steal stuff. Maybe stopping them from eating Tide pods was a mistake
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLOX Biloxi)
 
 
 
Getting a Mississippi state driver's license? There may be math, but no road test
source: wlox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 15, 2021
(Axios)
 
 
 
Automakers refine technology to prevent dad from going to strip club, mom from talking to Cassidy after yoga and you know how she is so we had to get Starbucks and she had the cutest scarf from Etsy and I was "Where did you get that" and she said
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Potatoe may have saved the country from potato
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 14, 2021
(Mational Day Calendar)
 
 
 
Today is National Pants Off Day. *whisper whisper* Wait, I'm being told I might have read that wrong. Put your pants back on, please
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mational Day Calendar)
 
 
 
Today is National Pants Off Day. *whisper whisper* Wait, I'm being told I might have read that wrong. Put your pants back on, please
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Kindergartener blows a .23, nearly OD's on hand sanitizer. Amateur
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All K-Pop)
 
 
 
At only a year old, she's already making millions for her parents as a gorgeous social media influencer
source: allkpop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Greg Abbott: "Ban abortion." Also, Greg Abbott: "Crime is up because people are bad parents"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 13, 2021
(AP News)
 
 
 
17-year-old schedules appointment to receive COVID vaccine. Parents react in classic Alabama fashion: "You're not getting this damn vaccine; you need to lower your voice. Watch your tone when you talk to me"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You don't have 'too much documentation,' according to a person who apparently doesn't have any documentation at all
source: gamedeveloper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"I've never been that embarrassed in my whole life." Says mother who went straight to social media with pictures of her partner's vibrating cock ring
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"I've never been that embarrassed in my whole life." Says mother who went straight to social media with pictures of her partner's vibrating cock ring
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
"It is time to stop playing Jenga with US foreign policy" according to professors who have apparently never seen Calvinball in action
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Charter Communications, Comcast and AT&T are among the corporations whose executives apparently jerk it to The Handmaid's Tale
source: popular.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin Public Radio)
 
 
 
The good news: The level of alcohol use among college students plummeted between 2019 and 2020. The bad news: Because, apparently, they're smoking enough pot to make Cheech and Chong look like noobs
source: wpr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
So here's Mel Tormé selling your grandparents a 1950 Oldsmobile 88. Happy 96th to Mel, wherever he's at
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Take a trip into the QAnon rabbit hole
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 11, 2021
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Not only does the U.S. Navy have "ghost" ships, but apparently they are now fully armed and operational
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 10, 2021
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Meth apparently has been rebranded as the "Elixir of Life"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJTV Jackson)
 
 
 
How bad are these kids that their parents want to kill them so badly?
source: wjtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Thomas the Rage Engine
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 09, 2021
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
I can't improve on the source headline, it's that perfect
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
World cup recap: Pepi-fueled USMNT beats Honduras who were apparently drinking Diet Coke
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Murdaugh shootings to be subject of new HBO series. Apparently you can't just up and revoke diplomatic immunity
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
"Cheap Smokes" apparently wasn't cheap enough, gets robbed twice in one week
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 08, 2021
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Apparently, cosplay is a thing that people do at fraud trials now
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tyler Paper)
 
 
 
Living Alternatives an organization dedicated to helping women, children and families with parenthood will welcome Ben Carson for banquet. Apparently Pro Life is now not euphemistically enough to identify antiabortion groups and they need a new term
source: tylerpaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Apparent overdose kills comedians Furquan Johnson and Enrico Colangeli, sends Kate Quigley to hospital. Doctors say fentanyl isn't funny
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 07, 2021
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Guy who didn't think dogfighting was that big a deal apparently also doesn't think defrauding a health care benefit plan for retired NFLers is a big deal either
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Apparently, Kevin Sorbo felt it had been too damn long since making a complete asshole out of himself on Twitter
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
What do we know about the new C.1.2 coronavirus variant from South Africa? Apparently, every country is going to see one too
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 06, 2021
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Washington State city council candidate wants to bring "God's government" to his city. And God really hates permanent supportive housing projects for the homeless: "They may leave and go someplace else. If I were homeless, I would move to San Diego"
source: b-townblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
In the city and suburbs of New York (plus DC and the planes) the children who lost a parent on 9/11 are grown up now. These are their stories. Dun dun
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My friend asked me to be a godparent but rescinded the offer when I said that I would not be a free full-time nanny. Am I right to be offended and upset?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
"Get confident, stupid"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
I'm not a huge fan of Gabriel Iglesias, but his standup about his step kid hits me right in the feels. Have you had a stepparent who made a difference in your life? Have you had a step kid who did the same?
source: fluffyguy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Twitter trolls are out in force against Rachel Maddow for telling the truth
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem presented Trump with a replica of Mount Rushmore, to which she apparently added the face of Beach Boys' Brian Wilson
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun September 05, 2021
(MSN)
 
 
 
All kindergarten teachers at a San Antonio school are Covid-positive, parents learn. Not from the school, but from each other, because this is Greg Abbattoir's pro-life Texas
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Army Times)
 
 
 
FBI child sex crimes investigator was apparently taking notes
source: armytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 04, 2021
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Author loses her first language, can no longer speak to parents without an app. A poignant essay to use as an example when activists talk about colonialism, critical race theory, and technology in everyday life
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Travis County judge grants two week stay of Gileadgeddon for three Austin-area Planned Parenthood affiliates
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 03, 2021
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Godfather series shut down due to positive COVID test. In other news, there's apparently a Godfather series in the works
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
DeathSantis triples down by appealing the court ruling that struck down his ban on mask mandates because dead children are a great way to win GQP votes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
DeathSantis triples down by appealing the court ruling that struck down his ban on mask mandates because dead children are a great way to win GQP votes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
A well fitting mask can prevent Covid spread, but a parent's fit over masks can cause a school to lockdown
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
So there's this hole-in-the-wall cafe in Japan that is actually just a hole in the wall. It is also apparently staffed by bears who all have assorted mental disorders
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 02, 2021
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My sister spends a lot of time traveling the world and focusing on her career. She wants to be a mother but I think she'd be terrible at it. How can I tell her this?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 01, 2021
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Exploding manholes in St. Louis works as designed, apparently
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Apparently UK authorities take a dim view if you want to name your company Go Fudge Yaself LTD
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 31, 2021
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Apparently, Apple Bros are just as bad as Apple Fan Bois
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Meet two teenagers who are making $30,000 a month mining cryptocurrency, which is entirely possible when your parents are investment bankers who buy all of your equipment and pay for your electricity
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Peloton drops the price of its original Bike by $400 amid poor earnings results. Apparently you can't sell a $1895 exercise bike to people who are struggling to pay their rent
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
It's happening; DeathSantis is withholding pay from school officials who ordered mask mandates
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Worried about food security? Population outstripping supply? Support Plant Parenthood and join us in your Fark Gardening Thread for Tuesday August 31, 2021
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 30, 2021
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Apparently, people seem to like the idea that they should be allowed to vote
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Contractor fatally shot after argument over tile work pricing, as apparently the home owner could not accept the contractor's inability to say anything other than 'I am Grout'
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In a rather transparent bid to avoid being served, as he is about to be issued a subpoena, Gym Jordan's memory improves slightly
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Loose-fitting jeans are helping Levis even though they apparently still can't find room to squeeze the quality back in
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Awful Announcing)
 
 
 
As it became apparent that ESPN had been duped into airing high school football blowout featuring an unknown online charter school that lied about its roster to get on TV, ESPN announcers proceeded to crap on said school
source: awfulannouncing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Elon Musk has apparently arranged an apocalyptic space battle to determine whether robots, insect overlords, or Millennials will rule the Earth
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun August 29, 2021
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Remember that charred shell of a Tesla they found on a frozen lake? Well, it was one of 5, apparently
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Apparently someone thought it was a good idea to hire Kevin Spacey to be in a movie. Someone either very clueless or very stupid
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Covid certainly has the munchies for right-wing radio hosts, gobbling up its fourth one this month
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
"Some parents at the meeting threatened to take their kids into homeschooling." PLEASE, PROCEED
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"Mom is stripped of parenting time over refusal to get COVID-19 vaccine"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 28, 2021
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Apparently, Reese's muffins stuffed and topped with peanut butter filling and icing exists. There's no wrong way to eat these
source: seventeen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Apparently not realizing there are bigger issues out there, Pennsylvania lawmaker to introduce legislation for schools to begin after Labor Day
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 27, 2021
(Politico)
 
 
 
DeathSentence is underwater in polls now. "You can tout all the freedom and anti-lockdown that you want. There's no political strategy for sick kids and tired parents"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Judge rules parents must pay $30,441 for getting rid of son's porn cache. Subby rules the porn cache as mediocre at best
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida hospitals running out of space to store dead bodies in wake of Covid-19, as apparently subby's "just throw them in a sinkhole" plan is a non-starter
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Apparently a pair of glowing trees are a really big thing for the nerrrrrrrrds
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Civil Rights Movement)
 
 
 
Arizona parents admit they don't understand science
source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Destructoid)
 
 
 
Thirty years ago, Paul Rudd was playing with power, super power. And parents were freaking out about video mania
source: destructoid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 26, 2021
(Snopes)
 
 
 
AOC has at least one Republican opponent in 2022, and apparently, this opponent is familiar with the Capitol building, as she helped storm it on January 6th
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Did one of your parents teach you how to ride a bike? How to swim? Was it a gentle, loving experience or something else?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman gets over 5 million TikTok views stuffing ear of corn into tight hole
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My husband is using me for money since he lost his job. I don't want a divorce. Wat do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
Learning from home is testing students' online search skills. Kids, ask your parents if FARK is right for you
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WEAU Eau Claire)
 
 
 
WI State Senator Andre Jacque has apparently been transferred to a horse hospital. Take that, ivermectin haters
source: weau.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
Kentucky schools have a cat problem. "Apparently, from what I understand, they're called 'furries,'" said the grandmother, who asked to remain anonymous
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Heebawabba. Heebeejeebee wabba gooby blahbee. Blabba booba wooba. Boola wobby gahbby jahbby
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Heebawabba. Heebeejeebee wabba gooby blahbee. Blabba booba wooba. Boola wobby gahbby jahbby
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scary Mommy)
 
 
 
What do you call a small Mom? A Minimum It's your Bad Mom Joke Thursday Thread
source: scarymommy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Angry parents sue 'Angry Birds' developer over collection of children's data
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Pro-life" Texans set up a hotline for people to inform on anyone that "aided and abetted" an abortion "including parents who drive their child to the clinic or friends who lend money for the procedure." Real Americans spam the fark out of it
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 25, 2021
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Jesus forgives, and apparently so does Ben Zobrist
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Apparently, Harry Kane was watching. That or Man City wasn't willing to pony up the 150 million
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Euro)
 
 
 
For the slacker parents on here. Which, according to this euro documentary, is every single one of us
source: cineuropa.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Dozens of California students, parents stranded in Afghanistan after summer trip abroad. In other news, families were booking summer trips to Afghanistan
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Apparently Small Business Administration disaster loans aren't supposed to be laundered, or used to buy a quarter-million dollars worth of iPhones. Who needs 178 iPhones anyway?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Department of Justice)
 
 
 
The Justice Department sentences a 33rd Capitol rioter to jail time, house arrest, years of probation, community service, and a huge fine. Wait, did I say Capitol rioter? I meant wealthy parent who paid $500k to get a kid into USC
source: justice.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 24, 2021
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
More than half of parents find mornings the most stressful part of the day. Hmmmm... I "time to get up" wonder why "oh for the love of god, you're still not ready?" that could "the bus is about to leave" be
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Parents at Disney World will finally be able to tell their kids what movie Splash Mountain is based on
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Since becoming a parent, I've learned that I have become lonely and friendless. The pandemic has made it worse. What can I do?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Meet the parents who lied to ensure their 11 year-old got the Covid vaccine
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 23, 2021
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
One is the loneliest parking meter
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
Apparently corn ribs are the new 'in thing' for foodies. They make you feel good about eating the pig without actually eating the pig
source: pdx.eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Energy Bulletin)
 
 
 
The Pfizer vaccine is fully approved for adults and misinformation about it is flooding social media, as foreseen by Nostradamus. And also by Abraham Lincoln, who apparently has some helpful instructions for using it
source: daily.energybulletin.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
South Dakota is a major sex trafficking hub? 8 of the last 9 Sturgis rallies featured sex trafficking arrests? 8 out of 9 arrested this year are from South Dakota? It's more likely than you think
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Parents get coached on how to endanger their children
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun August 22, 2021
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
You know that one guy at the comic-con who thinks WAY too hard about the sciencey stuff in movies? Apparently he writes for an automotive website now
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 20, 2021
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Even if the kids managed to make it to school, there might not be anybody there to teach
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox2 Detroit)
 
 
 
Some parent takes "off the mask" at a mask meeting
source: fox2detroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
As the FBI opens an investigation into whether a Colorado election official gave voting machine passwords to a Q-anon leader, Mike "My Pillow" Lindell has apparently stashed her in a secret "safe house" Obstruction of Justice is a helluva drug, Mike
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Unite.ai)
 
 
 
Apparently Instagram is a great place to score drugs
source: unite.ai   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Apparently outpatient monoclonal antibody treatments in Florida are not going quite as well planned
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Covid takes the "one of each" approach as Senators Wicker (R-MS), King (I-ME), and Hickenlooper (D-CO) all announce positive Covid tests from apparent "breakthrough" infections on the same day
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Alexa my son and his friends snuck out of the house, take over my parenting duties
source: intheknow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 19, 2021
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Judge in Trevor Bauer case throws a curveball, rules that if you ask for rough sex then any violent act is apparently legal
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Oh look, it's fully-vaccinated Sean Hannity lying about COVID vaccine effectiveness with R(egener)on Death$antis
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Oh hello Mr. Soul I dropped by to pick up a reason/ For the thought that I caught that FARMAID is the event of the season/ Why in crowds just a trace of my face could seem so pleasin'/ I'll cop out to the COVID but a stranger is putting the tease on
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Fedoras will not stop COVID
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
If you parked your truck by the Library of Congress this morning the DC Police would like to have a word with you. In fact they're trying right now, apparently you're sitting in the vehicle
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 18, 2021
(The Sun)
 
 
 
'Miracle' virgin birth after baby doo doo, doo doo doo doo shark born in all-female aquarium without any males (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Library gives out free comic books to children. What could go wrong? Oh my
source: abc7ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
My Pillow guy apparently not a fan of Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, and someone named 'Trucker Carlson'
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The FBI's primary weapon in tracking down January 6 insurrectionists? The people who actually know them apparently hate them every bit as much as the rest of us do
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 17, 2021
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
In other news, Sen. Robert Menendez (D-NJ) is apparently still relevant
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Parent wrings hands over name of 4-year-old child's soccer team, the Monkeys, and frets over how to bring it up with the league director, who is Black
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(CBS News)
 
 
 
Member of insurgent group pleads guilty to charges of threatening to kill a sitting US Senator, conspiracy to get them into a polyamorous relationship with waterfauna apparently
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Alabama now only has 2 ICU beds available in entire state. Well, at least until next grandparent, parent, somebody's kid dies
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 16, 2021
(Independent)
 
 
 
What happened to all the tax money we spent on Afghanistan? Apparently some is sitting on the airport runway since the ex-president couldn't fit it all in his escape helicopter
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Can you "win" the mask debate?
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun August 15, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently Mother Nature really has it in for Haiti this week
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
Houston Astros sued by parents of girl who suffered skull fracture by foul ball at Minute Maid Park. What MLB couldn't do, perhaps the courts can by banging them out of existence
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 14, 2021
(USA Today)
 
 
 
A look at all the states where you don't want your children attending school
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 13, 2021
(NBC News)
 
 
 
And there it is: Teacher sent to the hospital with lacerations and "a pretty good knot on the back of his head" after altercation with a violent animal upset that the school was protecting their daughter from a deadly contagious disease
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
To be fair, you don't need to wear a mask at school if you're quarantining at home. {RollSafeheadtap.gif}
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Today's story of responsible parenting comes to you from Reno, Nevada, where parents sent their child whom they knew was Covid positive to school
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Boeing is sending Starliner back to the factory for troubleshooting. Much in the same way my parents sent the family dog to live on a farm
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Apparently the ballls were in play on the pitch for football team from Norway after 'having orgy with four women and getting caught on security camera after a boozy night out' (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
Scientists invent transparent aluminum
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Charlie Kirk trolls for some legitimacy, and after learning the true meaning of insurrection day, Charlie Kirk's face shrunk 3 sizes that day
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 12, 2021
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Moderna and Pfizer stock both tumble 19% because apparently there is no market for the most important commodity in the entire world. At least Adam Smith rolling in his grave can be a new source of clean energy
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(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Aston Kutchner and Mila Kunis roll their eyes at people criticizing thier hygiene habits, pointing out that they could be wearing month old gym clothes after going on a 20mi run and you'd STILL volunteer to be the meat in a Kutchner-Kunis sandwich
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Extreme Tech)
 
 
 
Apparently rocket science is actually pretty hard. Who knew?
source: extremetech.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Any other parents feeling helpless and hopeless with the school year beginning?
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Farkers, our time has come: apparently, Biden is paying neckbeards for their dank memes and such as. Working from the basement *AND* benefits, what could be better?
source: readthepresentage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
US Air Force to allow scalp tattoos, transparent piercing retainers, and putting hands in pockets [Clarification: Your hands in your own pockets]
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 11, 2021
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently, "shall" means "shall" again. For now, at least
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Grandparents' Day is coming up
source: wellandgood.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
On the plus side, the kid will always remember her sixth birthday party. On the downside, the parents will always remember the extra load of laundry they had to do
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Are you letting your children have sleepovers? If not, are you prepared for the detrimental mental effects it will have on them?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
In other news, there are apparently barbarians who don't eat all the meat off chicken wings (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Young Quentin Tarantino was advised by mom not to pursue statistically unlikely career, so he has been an arsehole to her ever since. Maybe she was too blunt, but isn't it the role of a loving parent to caution against improbable career choices?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 10, 2021
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
Smith College Alums Rally to Fund Gay Student Cut Off by Parents. There is probably a Seven Sisters joke in there somewhere but Subby has nothing and just thinks this is cool, maybe you can come up with a funny headline
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Welcome to the United States Senate, where apparently we can actually get something done. Maybe
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"How do I bring my kids out to do things? I am having trouble bringing my two toddlers (3 and almost 2) out in the world for seemingly everyday things. We have had basically no practice living life in public thanks to COVID. I'm overwhelmed"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently the "shall" in tax return release rulings isn't as shally as the "shall" in the 2nd Amendment. Even after SCOTUS has ruled that Shall means Farking Do It Farking Now, no more appeals or bullshiat court filings
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Mon August 09, 2021
(Ultimate Classic Rock)
 
 
 
Yngwie Malmsteen almost joined Kiss as "The Ankh Warrior", but confusion over the metric system apparently cost him the gig
source: ultimateclassicrock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Apparently there was a racist at the Colorado Rockies' baseball game against the Miami Marlins
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DCist)
 
 
 
Teens and their accompanying parents get $51 each for getting a COVID vaccine, as well as Apple Airpods for early risers and a chance to win a $25,000 college scholarship. Valid offer only in D.C
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(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Parents of disabled kids sue Governor Ron DeSantis for violating ADA with his ban on mask mandates in schools, as he "does not have the authority to threaten school districts with loss of funding if they protect their students with disabilities"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently it takes a minimum of 6 people dying and 10-15 ending up in the hospital for their church to start promoting the Covid vaccine. "Davis ... is certain the members didn't contract the virus at the church"
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Sun August 08, 2021
(TMZ)
 
 
 
OJ Simpson refuses to go to Los Angeles because he fears seeing "the real killer", apparently unaware mirrors exist all over the world
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 06, 2021
(The Healthy)
 
 
 
Ten things that parents already knew about, thanks. Now pass those Wet Wipes over here
source: thehealthy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Florida: No masks in schools. Texas: hold our canned air, no masks in schools AND no contact tracing AND no notification of parents of infections AND if a kid has infectious contact send them to school anyway
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 05, 2021
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Santa apparently wants more than milk and cookies
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gamasutra)
 
 
 
The Nintendo Switch has sold 89 million units in just over four years, as apparently more people like to switch than to just play with their Wiis
source: gamasutra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Cops suspected couple might be trafficking drugs, but the fact that they could afford a new apartment in Boston was apparently the real proof
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ET Cahada)
 
Boobies
 
Ice T and his daughter share something in common
source: etcanada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
But don't call them "terrorists"
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 04, 2021
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Is "My Singing Monsters" name for an Apple game app for children, or what parents call their kids after running up $10,000 in unauthorized charges while playing app?
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"I'm married, and my husband an I have a newborn. But when it comes to caring, feeding, and spending time with the newborn, my husband isn't around. How can I get him to be involved in the necessary parts of parenting?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"How can I keep my 16 year-old daughter from lecturing me about privilege and income inequality?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Apparently its more than just a minor issue. Starliner launch scrubbed until further notice
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 03, 2021
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Olympic horses are apparently spooked out by the life sized sumo wrestler on the obstacle course
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
CDC urges Americans to not travel to several countries due to a very high COVID risk, traveling to Florida still apparently ok though
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blabbermouth)
 
 
 
In news that may have been mildly interesting in 1988, Rudy Sarzo announces that he's returning to Quiet Riot. In other news, Quiet Riot apparently still around
source: blabbermouth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 02, 2021
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Frank Ocean to headline Coachella. In 2023. Apparently Billy wasn't available
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Apparently the Cleveland Guardians didn't check the Internet first about their renaming gig
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Apparently one thing modern man had in common with our ancient ancestors is that when somebody sent them a fruit basket, they had no idea what to do with them either
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
If you run a nursery school and tell the parents of Aqsa Akhtar there aren't spaces, but 10 minutes later, tell Susan Blake's mum & dad there's plenty of room, there's a good chance you're a racist asshat
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudence - I know this question at first seems to be one about employment law, but the plot twist is that it's actually about how to approach my mom about the possibility that she abandoned my twin
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Apparently the price of skunks has increased
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Study finds risk of forest fires in Sierra Nevada mountains will drop to 0% by 2030...because there will be no Sierra Nevada mountain forests left to burn by then
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Utility companies push their own big lie
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 31, 2021
(ABL13 Houston)
 
 
 
"Parents and teachers say state leaders have stripped them of weapons against COVID-19." Surprisingly this isn't just limited to Florida
source: abc13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Apparently geese like to show their mad skills as much as people do
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 30, 2021
(Vox)
 
 
 
Apparently home ownership has turned people into NIMBY monsters who resist change and progress at every turn
source: vox.com   |   share: <