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headlines found matching 'Mother'

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Fri July 23, 2021
		Of all the things to worry about, "Is my child going to be okay reading books that are more advanced and possibly inappropriate for the age range" has to be fairly low for concern source: slate.com \| share:	8
		Unvaccinated assholes from Georgia kill a 5 year old boy source: cnn.com \| share:	90
		You have to be pretty slow to be bitten by a sloth source: wistv.com \| share:	22

Thu July 22, 2021
		Artie Lange has been sober for 2½ years. More shocking, he is still alive source: nypost.com \| share:	38
		"Would it be gauche to not invite unvaccinated family members to my baby shower?" source: slate.com \| share:	33

Wed July 21, 2021
		Tom Brady remains diplomatic regarding Jimmy Garoppolo being the 'motherf-ker' he was mocking source: nfl.com \| share:	21
		Britney Spears' mom forced her to end marriage to Jason Alexander, ruining Seinfeld in the process source: pagesix.com \| share:	31
		"My daughter wants to do a DNA test...but she was conceived via IVF and it could get complicated. What do?" source: slate.com \| share:	20

Tue July 20, 2021
		"The officer learned Pounds had rented a room there under the name of the First Assembly of God Church" source: myfox8.com \| share:	56
		Justin Beiber may be reproducing source: nydailynews.com \| share:	19

Mon July 19, 2021
		"...outside the capital whose towns and villages exist on a diet of pro-government media ..... the Fidesz heartlands where dissent from the party line can be rare." So, it seems that the USA isn't alone in the rural/urban divide source: vice.com \| share:	33
		Would you accept an all-expenses-paid trip if it meant hanging out with my "narcissist" soon-to-be mother-in-law for two days? What if I throw in $1,000? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	67
		Your Fark-ready Food Headline of the Day™: One of the World's Most Expensive Cheeses Comes from Rescued Donkeys" source: foodandwine.com \| share:	10
		Buggers: American kindergartners, who watched nothing but Peppa Pig during the pandemic, now speaking exclusively in British accents and saying things like, "lovely," "clevah," and "petrol station" all the time source: marketwatch.com \| share:	157
		Washington mother of Washington owner of Washington Football Team has died source: espn.com \| share:	6

Sun July 18, 2021
		"A Capitol rioter's bail was revoked after he left his probation officer 'frightening' voicemails about the size of his genitalia" source: yahoo.com \| share:	162

Fri July 16, 2021
		Death row inmate found dead after execution date set. Which I guess makes it kinda like that 'use or freeze by' date on bacon source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	21
		Ferocious beast drags helpless bunny into his lair and viciously attacks it source: msn.com \| share:	8

Thu July 15, 2021
		South Carolina is banning those nasty trees your neighbor has that smell like Mother Nature gave them a handy source: counton2.com \| share:	88
		Wisconsin man to police: Yes, I'd like to report my parents are missing. Next day: Oh wait, nevermind. I remember where they are now. I killed and dismembered them source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	58
		Working 9 to 5... I've got questions, lots of questions (nsfw) source: mcsweeneys.net \| share:	33
		This homemade Pollo Campero has Gus Fring's mouth watering source: seriouseats.com \| share:	8
		The 'rona goes all Gritty on Georgia man who went all Florida man on vaccines source: wsbtv.com \| share:	160

Wed July 14, 2021
		"He left" became "I found him in the bathtub" became "he's stuffed in my wall" became "you're gonna have to end this" becomes murder charge source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	19
		Protip: if you name your daughter after the woman with whom you are cheating, you have a seemingly valid excuse when you call your wife by the wrong name source: yahoo.com \| share:	21
		Protip: if you name your daughter after the woman with whom you are cheating, you have a seemingly valid excuse when you call your wife by the wrong name source: yahoo.com \| share:	21
		Olympian Jordan Chiles' mother to enter federal prison on day daughter competes for gold source: koin.com \| share:	28
		"How do I know if it's really the right time for me to stop having children? Is there a sign I should watch out for?" source: slate.com \| share:	35
		All gas, no brakes, and Jesus is steering. And here comes the red traffic light source: nzherald.co.nz \| share:	24

Mon July 12, 2021
		Looks like he'll be managing cases for his judge in that big courtroom in the sky source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	62
		Not usually news: Mom accidentally takes picture of son with flash on. Scary news: What she found on photo source: cbs46.com \| share:	53
		29 eggplant recipes, which is about 31 too many source: foodandwine.com \| share:	36
		Her name isn't Diane and it wasn't a Tastee Freez source: mlive.com \| share:	17
		"My boyfriend is in a relationship with a mannequin that shares my name, and he's been singing 'Nothing's gonna stop us now' for weeks. Should I be concerned?" source: slate.com \| share:	35
		"My husband and I are expecting our first child; I've said I don't want to breastfeed. Pregnancy proved it; I don't like having control of my body. I want to drink wine. I don't want to be the only one feeding it late at night. Am I being selfish?" source: slate.com \| share:	39

Sun July 11, 2021
		Sideshow Bob discusses Fraiser Crane's return source: deadline.com \| share:	56

Fri July 09, 2021
		After getting pulled over, driver called 911 with phony shooting report. Hoped cops would leave him to search for purported gunman source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	24
		On this day in history, in 1777, Brigadier General George Clinton was elected as the first governor of New York, a role he held sporadically until 1804 when he finally journeyed to the stars in the P-Funk Mothership as Dr. Funkenstein source: history.com \| share:	36
		Derek Carr wasn't the 'motherf-ker' Tom Brady was mocking source: nypost.com \| share:	23

Thu July 08, 2021
		County child welfare director charged with child neglect source: pennlive.com \| share:	34
		Imagine your mother tells you she's taking a sabbatical to travel the world for a few months and is never heard from again. Imagine 24 years pass and still no word from your mom source: parkrapidsenterprise.com \| share:	20
		Twin red panda cubs born to mother Dolly, who has huge bamboobs source: argusobserver.com \| share:	4
		Mother claims her first grader has OCD from CRT, starts a GoFundMe for $5,000 source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com \| share:	129
		It's your inaugural Fark Fursday Thread. Rawr source: fark.com \| share:	104
		Britney leaves her clothes alone source: pagesix.com \| share:	40

Wed July 07, 2021
		Oh sure...'accidentally' source: yahoo.com \| share:	29
		Oh sure...'accidentally' source: yahoo.com \| share:	29
		Grandmother-of-four is only person in Britain to collect barbed wire. Unknown why she just doesn't watch it online source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	26
		Woman packs kid's school lunches with non-alcoholic vodak. BEST. MUM. EVAR source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	54
		"My father has always been a smart aleck who loves practical jokes and discreetly needling people. My husband has been one of his favorite targets, and it finally came to a head and my husband snapped and he's threatening divorce. What can I do?" source: slate.com \| share:	94

Tue July 06, 2021
		Costco ending COVID-19 senior shopping hours later this month. So if you still want those free Grandmother or Grandfather samples, you better get there quick source: king5.com \| share:	21
(Some Guy)		On this day in 1957, two English lads named John and Paul met and changed the world of music forever source: sundaypost.com \| share:	30
		If not for Olivia, TB12 might have 12 Super Bowl rings source: cbssports.com \| share:	16
		"You're my governor, Greg Abbott. Why are you endangering my kids?" source: cnn.com \| share:	80
		Kourtney Kardashian sucks source: yahoo.com \| share:	32
		"My daughter is two years out of college; she is bad at answering my calls, her voicemail is full, and she doesn't reach out to me. How can I get her to be closer to me? She lives far away too, and I have always been a good mother" source: slate.com \| share:	41
		Evolution of the Dad source: arstechnica.com \| share:	23

Mon July 05, 2021
		Goodbye War on drugs, Hello War on refined sugar source: montreal.ctvnews.ca \| share:	35
		Siss-Bang-Boom-Splat source: nypost.com \| share:	65
		Critically endangered cotton-top tamarin twins born in Blijdorp Zoo source: nltimes.nl \| share:	2
		"Dear Prudence: Would you be able to compile the best letters about weddings you've ever received?" source: slate.com \| share:	17
		"Dear Prudence: Would you be able to compile the best letters about weddings you've ever received?" source: slate.com \| share:	17
		How many more of these "person refuses to get vaccinated and dies from Covid" stories do we have to read? Today's Darwin award winner from Kansas City source: insider.com \| share:	290

Sun July 04, 2021
(Some Guy)		This week the Sunday Morning Music Club celebrates the red, the white, and the blue source: audacy.com \| share:	218

Fri July 02, 2021
		Amber Heard announces birth of daughter, names her after the sound she made while in labor source: yahoo.com \| share:	83
		Anna Paquin replaced by Emily Browning source: digitalspy.com \| share:	38

Thu July 01, 2021
		Nirvana...the disco band? source: metalinjection.net \| share:	23
		We've reached a new level in the opioid crisis: Pilot program has McDonald's distributing treatments in happy meals source: sunjournal.com \| share:	3

Wed June 30, 2021
		Residents in Raleigh have had it with this motherfarking zebra cobra in their motherfarking neighborhood source: abc11.com \| share:	54
		The "mother of the Latin American soap opera" has died. Expect multiple husbands to show up at the funeral as well as a pair of twins fighting to the death and someone's stepmother pushed down a flight of stairs source: cnn.com \| share:	21
		Dear Annie: My mom is trying to stop me from going to college. Wat do? source: cleveland.com \| share:	15
		Dear Annie: My mom is trying to stop me from going to college. Wat do? source: cleveland.com \| share:	15
		I have HAD it with these motherfarking lobsters on this motherfarking plane source: twitter.com \| share:	91

Mon June 28, 2021
		EhSIS source: ctvnews.ca \| share:	12
		Ethel the protective mother hen will streak after you if you get anywhere near her adoptive chicks. Boogity, boogity source: ca.news.yahoo.com \| share:	4
		Peeping Tom is now Bleeding Tom source: msn.com \| share:	96
		Peeping Tom is now Bleeding Tom source: msn.com \| share:	96
		Homeowner complains about new USPS delivery method that could permanently eliminate porch piracy source: wgno.com \| share:	153
		Here's the dumbest Critical Race Theory argument yet from anti-CRT idiots source: motherjones.com \| share:	158
		Eleven-year-old boy wants to give "alms to the oppressed." Teacher: "Arms to the oppressed?" That's a call to the government's deradicalisation programme source: theguardian.com \| share:	79

Sun June 27, 2021
		Phone calls from within the rubble of Champlain Towers South source: local10.com \| share:	64
		Teenage rebellion and going against the man has certainly changed since my day, but whatever source: capitalgazette.com \| share:	67
		Teenage rebellion and going against the man has certainly changed since my day, but whatever source: capitalgazette.com \| share:	67

Fri June 25, 2021
		Mothers reveal the pet peeves they hold for the actions of other parents source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	34

Thu June 24, 2021
		♫What the boys really love is a turtleneck and a sensible pair of slacks. Honey, modest is hottest♫ source: msn.com \| share:	43
		Salma Hayek acknowledges that it looks like her breasts keep growing as she gets older but swears that they are all natural. With handy infographic to "assist" you source: nypost.com \| share:	81
		"I have TSA PreCheck through my job; my wife thinks that it's rude I use it and don't wait in the plebe line with her. I say it's a benefit and can score us a good spot at the gate or restaurant. I'm right on this, right?" source: slate.com \| share:	68

Wed June 23, 2021
		IT'S HAPPENING: Capitol rioters are finally getting sentenced. First in line is a 49 year-old grandmother...aaaaand she only gets probation, community service and a $500 fine source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	233
		Garbageman saves mother and child after their car crashes into a ditch. Gets a bonus of $100. With awkward pic of the garbageman and his earnings source: nbc-2.com \| share:	34
		Welp, that's definitely a list of 40 bands source: spin.com \| share:	69
		So, what do you do if you find your best friend's spouse on Grindr? source: slate.com \| share:	21

Tue June 22, 2021
		Fetchez la vache. Quoi? Fetchez la vache. Will the Habs trebuchet a cow onto the Knights & regain the series lead or will Vegas construct a large wooden badger and go up 3-2? Pierre's mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries. 9pm ET source: nhl.com \| share:	522
		Son kills girl in boating accident. Son and mother shot by persons unknown. Nobody knows nothing. It's a hallelujah mess, and it's the South Carolina way source: thestate.com \| share:	80
(Some Guy)		Italian egg stuffed meatloaf (Polpettone). Hard boiled egg in the center, yes or no? source: mangiabedda.com \| share:	46
		Name checks out source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	32
		Ex-MLB star Ben Zobrist's fraudulent pastor slept with his wife. Just as Jesus commanded in Paul, Chapter FU source: nypost.com \| share:	24
		NY parents angry with Principal Alice Cooper source: nypost.com \| share:	44

Mon June 21, 2021
		Li'l Marco tweets, "Every major social problem in America can be linked to fatherlessness." Some people have a problem with that source: god.dailydot.com \| share:	182
		Mia born at MIA. Lucky mom didn't travel to Phoenix source: local10.com \| share:	43
		Remember that time dad began his boycott of the Chinese restaurant because they shorted him one fortune cookie? Bob Farrell screams give 'em the pickle source: thetakeout.com \| share:	20
		"My two kids are too young for the Covid vaccine; we limit exposure to gatherings of vaccinated people. My in-laws are not vaccinated; my family is. We haven't seen my in-laws in person in over a year; they accuse me of playing favorites. What do?" source: slate.com \| share:	24

Sun June 20, 2021
		"We need to stop referring to work as 'family'." Um, when did we start? source: fastcompany.com \| share:	34
		United Nations sends a strongly worded letter to Myanmar. Strongly. Worded. Letter source: wate.com \| share:	36

Sat June 19, 2021
		Nina Simone's family blames Kamala Harris for taking away their mother's estate...by which they mean she was the attorney general when they were caught robbing blind the charity Nina Simone's will set up source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	28
		Nina Simone's family blames Kamala Harris for taking away their mother's estate...by which they mean she was the attorney general when they were caught robbing blind the charity Nina Simone's will set up source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	28
		Their dad is better than your dad source: lifehacker.com \| share:	45

Fri June 18, 2021
		From the human perspective, this is whale watching. This whale, however, clearly wanted a closer look source: petapixel.com \| share:	10
		Biden makes heads asplode over at the right wing's propaganda press machines source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	112

Thu June 17, 2021
		Meet Opal Lee, the "Grandmother of Juneteenth" source: marketwatch.com \| share:	23
(Some Snacker)		"I learned it from watching YOU, Dad" source: swnsdigital.com \| share:	15
		Tuck You of the Day: Some Mother Tucker appears on the show and says "Black People Are A Dozen IQ Points Below White". The Ghost of Robert E. Lee anally controlling Tucker has no objection source: huffpost.com \| share:	168
		Om nom nom mom source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	33

Wed June 16, 2021
		Utah DA sends profanity-laden email to SLC councilman who disturbed his nap. "I will do everything in my power to see that you never get elected to any office higher than dog catcher. Kindly die and go to hell, mother******." Someone needs a nap source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	82
		"You don't make friends with salad" source: thetakeout.com \| share:	13
		Kayne West "likes where things are headed" in his new relationship with supermodel Irina Shayk source: pagesix.com \| share:	25
		He's got that Botox source: foxnews.com \| share:	113
		Scottish woman really, really, really happy to be great, great, great grandmother source: bbc.com \| share:	19

Tue June 15, 2021
		First murderer convicted via DNA evidence to be released on parole in Great Britain. Labor MP tells community not to worry as homicidal sexual sadism targeting teen girls is just a phase (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	72
		Chester is the new Cisco as Cecile confronts past, breaks psychic prison on S.7 Ep.13 "Masquerade" of The Flash at 8 ㏘ EDT. Lana reaches out to Lois & Clark (still 1990?) on Ep.10 "Oh Mother, Where Art Thou?" of Superman & Lois at 9, both on The CW source: imdb.com \| share:	25
		Mum? source: thescottishsun.co.uk \| share:	46
		Now open: New York source: newyork.cbslocal.com \| share:	61
		Covid may have killed the owner but nothing will kill the TatoNut. Original TatoNut donut shop in Ocean Springs, Mississippi re-opens next week source: wlox.com \| share:	30
		Covid may have killed the owner but nothing will kill the TatoNut. Original TatoNut donut shop in Ocean Springs, Mississippi re-opens next week source: wlox.com \| share:	30
		Tony Perkins offers tips on surviving the "rainbow onslaught" of Pride Month, dressing up like your dead mother source: rightwingwatch.org \| share:	116

Mon June 14, 2021
(Some Guy)		This is important, you guys source: hitc.com \| share:	46
		Nevada Air National Guard scores its first female instructor pilot. And she channels Captain Picard in her flight suit source: airforcetimes.com \| share:	58
		Man with 38 wives and 89 kids drops dead for some reason source: bbc.com \| share:	57

Sun June 13, 2021
		Looks like we got a good old fashioned southern fried who done it source: msn.com \| share:	55
		Looks like we got a good old fashioned southern fried who done it source: msn.com \| share:	55
		Queen mother source: thehill.com \| share:	65
		13-year-old boy selling candles online, door-to-door to raise funds for local mother with lung cancer. And it's not even his mom source: kcra.com \| share:	16

Sat June 12, 2021
		"My husband wants my overworked teenager to get a job and I think it's a terrible idea. Is it?" source: slate.com \| share:	32

Fri June 11, 2021
		Is there a better time to tell your family about your gambling addiction than your wife's birthday, when you use your one phone call from jail to explain how you're $600,000 in debt? source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	38

Thu June 10, 2021
		Old man wonders why people keep thinking he's an old man source: etonline.com \| share:	11
		They're cute, photogenic, and almost went extinct. But they're back now, so the third paragraph of TFA cancels out all the D'awww source: journalstar.com \| share:	13

Wed June 09, 2021
		Family learns the hard way that life is all about choices source: cnn.com \| share:	92
		Presenting Mother of the Year 99 million BC source: phys.org \| share:	2
		Talking Head: "I feel sorry for Packers fans having to deal with QB drama." Everybody else in the league: stares motherfarkerly source: thebiglead.com \| share:	20
		"He pulled up in front of the house and turned the trailer on so it dumped out all the pennies on the grass and my mom came out and was like, 'What are you dumping in my yard?' 'It's your final child support payment" source: wtvr.com \| share:	205
		"He pulled up in front of the house and turned the trailer on so it dumped out all the pennies on the grass and my mom came out and was like, 'What are you dumping in my yard?' 'It's your final child support payment" source: wtvr.com \| share:	205
		No, it's Becky source: lifehacker.com \| share:	36
		Proud Boy's mom suggests he use baby shampoo to scrub out the pepper spray. No suggestions on washing away the felony charges source: huffpost.com \| share:	49
		Is there a song that really has changed your life? source: fark.com \| share:	55
		Going to get tacos in the Everglades turns out to be a bad idea source: local10.com \| share:	30

Tue June 08, 2021
		My stove just died, in a head-spinning-round 'Your mother sucks c*ks in hell' kinda way. I killed at the breaker box, but now I guess I need a new stove. This is your haunted appliance thread, stove edition source: fark.com \| share:	84
		Mother of 7-year-old wanted by police found dead arrested in Denver near las Vegas source: thedenverchannel.com \| share:	146
		Woman glues down 7700 pennies to create a floor. Later learns you should probably check first to make sure none of them are rare source: independent.co.uk \| share:	172
		Meghan Markle and Princess Diana both wanted an emotional support Queen source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	17
		Have you ever sent a naked pic to a family group chat instead of the intended recipient? source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	39

Mon June 07, 2021
		Irish teen helping the homeless finds mother sleeping on the street. Hopes to find father and sister to complete the set source: rte.ie \| share:	11
		This is an outrage royal edition. How dare Prince Harry use his grandmother's nickname for his daughter's first name. This shows a total lack of ... What? The Queen gave him permission? Carry on source: pagesix.com \| share:	82
		Ugly-ass baby warthogs born at Atlanta zoo. (with video) source: wsbtv.com \| share:	4
		Tommy Smothers' Johnny Carson impression. He does Carson better than Carson does Carson source: youtube.com \| share:	46

Sun June 06, 2021
		Queen Elizabeth II has another great-granddaughter, spawned by he who shall not be named source: variety.com \| share:	73
		Cop slaps baby, is cited and freaks out source: foxnews.com \| share:	45
		It's bad enough when a 14-year-old is accused of murder, but it really makes you wonder what the world is coming to when his mother tries to destroy the evidence source: clickorlando.com \| share:	227

Sat June 05, 2021
		Snakes found on a motherfarking plane. Samuel L Jackson unavailable for comment source: nypost.com \| share:	17
		Feds zip-tie a new eight-count, superseding indictment to the Motherboy Capitol terrorist team, Butt and Lisa source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	94

Fri June 04, 2021
		Last known letter sent before Amelia Earhart's disappearance found by California man. 'Send Lawyers, guns and money' source: fox5sandiego.com \| share:	42
		Samuel L Jackson's 20 best motherfarkin' films source: theguardian.com \| share:	57

Thu June 03, 2021
		"District 9" director Neil Blomkamp returns to his sci-fi/horror roots with Demonic and here's the trailer that rates somewhere between "pretty sick" and "how-sick-is-this-trailer" source: avclub.com \| share:	50
		The bride died? That's terrible. Is anyone else available? source: usatoday.com \| share:	93
(news.amomama.com)		"I was getting some fresh air outside the delivery room, while my wife was giving birth. I took a moment and sat with the other expectant fathers in the waiting room" source: news.amomama.com \| share:	8
		"My son and his wife are getting a divorce; his wife thinks after the divorce, we're still paying for her children to attend a fancy school and we're not. Should we forewarn her?" source: slate.com \| share:	24

Wed June 02, 2021
		Writer with basic opinion about Prince dares you to find him on Twitter, needs clicks desperately source: theringer.com \| share:	18
		♫ "I went to the beach on vacation...And in the hot sun I did sit. ♫ I came inside because of sunburn...♫ So I treated it with lots of..♫...Shaving Cream. Be nice and clean. Shave every day and you'll always feel keen." ♫ source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	20
(Some Guy)		"Hey Wally, how many candles are on my cake? Sure looks like a whole bunch." "73, ya goof. Even Eddie Haskell counts better'n you and died as a cop in Viet Nam" source: thefamouspeople.com \| share:	19
		Michael Caine is one of the coolest motherf*ckers alive, and YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BLOW THE BLOODY DOORS OFF source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	47
		A third ugly-ass giant panda cub has been born in Malaysia. Potential names include fedora, trilby, pith, and fez source: phys.org \| share:	2
		My sisters - one of whom was a Fortune 500 VP - emptied my mother's house and told me to take what was left. Is dividing by zero is one of those fancy corporate lawyer tax things? source: marketwatch.com \| share:	11
		My sisters - one of whom was a Fortune 500 VP - emptied my mother's house and told me to take what was left. Is dividing by zero is one of those fancy corporate lawyer tax things? source: marketwatch.com \| share:	11
		Looks like there's no paywall for this reporter, if you know what I mean source: nypost.com \| share:	116
		Cubs: we're where Weare is source: wmur.com \| share:	0

Tue June 01, 2021
		The Tuesday Night Science Channel Discussion Thread, 9PM Eastern source: fark.com \| share:	110
		Luxury shops at the Gold Coast Shopping Center learn that breastfeeding mothers are like hydras: Get rid of one exposed boob, a dozen more appear source: abc.net.au \| share:	71
		"I resent my mother-in-law for taking time away from me and my newborn daughter 13 years ago; I had post-partum depression as the only time I held my daughter was when I fed her. How can I reconcile the past?" source: slate.com \| share:	16
		Somebody get these motherfarking snakes out of this motherfarking galactic plane source: forbes.com \| share:	9

Mon May 31, 2021
		Does your coulrophobia need some nightmare fuel today? We've got a mother-load here. Warning - disturbing images of (you guessed it) CLOWNS source: sadanduseless.com \| share:	55
		Boston Celtics fan's aim is as good as the team he roots for thankfully source: espn.com \| share:	54

Sun May 30, 2021
		Prison, the final frontier source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	17
		Biden and DeSantis on the same side? source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	31

Sat May 29, 2021
		1 in 5 parents say they regret having children. The other four are too exhausted to answer pollsters' questions source: smh.com.au \| share:	168
		What is 7 seconds of stupid caught on tape worth? Would you believe 7 years in jail? Good, because that's the going rate in Missouri source: ksdk.com \| share:	252

Fri May 28, 2021
		As if two year olds weren't insufferable enough, you now have to listen to one constantly mention how they're in MENSA source: cnn.com \| share:	91
		LA has three new ugly-ass bobcat kittens source: laist.com \| share:	9

Thu May 27, 2021
		If you've just been shot you might as well livestream your ambulance ride source: kob.com \| share:	10
		Daenerys Targaryen's reboot as "Mother of Dwarf Emus" has begun source: phys.org \| share:	3
		While you nervously navigate the nuances of staying employed throughout the pandemic, a 5-year-old opened her own treat shop in Kentucky source: wtae.com \| share:	11
		Ancient Judeans likely ate non-kosher catfish. Great, now that it's published, their mothers are going to find out and they'll never hear the end of it source: cnn.com \| share:	44

Wed May 26, 2021
		Officer Sicknick's mother trying to shame the shameless source: politico.com \| share:	36
		They went with "Gunpowder Milkshake", really? Why not "Jane Wick"? Or "Kill Bill, Joe, Mike, Jerry, Paul, Jimmy, etc"? Or just "A Bunch of Bad-Ass biatches Shoot Every Last Motherfarker In The Movie"? Doesn't matter, it looks farking awesome source: youtube.com \| share:	51
		Rusty Warren, the "mother of the sexual revolution", goes Knockers Up at 91 source: thelaughbutton.com \| share:	18
		Stunned Wife: Dear The Moneyist, My husband has been hiding money from me for the last 10 years. The Moneyist: Dear Stunned Wife, Can I get his email address so I can get some pointers? source: msn.com \| share:	7
		"My teenager has been a real difficult jerk this year, and since the weather's getting nice, can I kick him out and make him camp in the backyard over the summer for a bit? We need some space" source: slate.com \| share:	23
		"My teenager has been a real difficult jerk this year, and since the weather's getting nice, can I kick him out and make him camp in the backyard over the summer for a bit? We need some space" source: slate.com \| share:	23

Tue May 25, 2021
		How does the old saying go? Mother bears love it when tourists try to get up close to their cubs? Yeah I think that's it source: local21news.com \| share:	42
		Looks like NYC is back to pre-pandemic levels source: nydailynews.com \| share:	31
		Mother told to breastfeed her baby in the disabled toilet and not at the table in TGI Fridays. She should have known you cannot bring outside food at a restaurant source: metro.co.uk \| share:	130
		Secretary of State Blinken announces that the U.S. will make "significant contributions" toward rebuilding Gaza, which is super dooper nice of them because after all those tanks and warplanes we gave Israel they were starting to run out of targets source: cnn.com \| share:	44
		On the plus side, they do have shiny coats now source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	11

Mon May 24, 2021
		I'm not crying, YOU'RE crying source: wfla.com \| share:	6
		Ad capacitatem C patefacio catholica ecclesiis, in New York City source: cnn.com \| share:	20
		Texas State Senate decides that poor mothers should only get Medicaid for six months after they have been required brood mares under their new anti-abortion law source: texastribune.org \| share:	69
		Remember that old Onion article where Mother Teresa was accidentally sent to hell as the result of a "wacky afterlife mix-up?" Well, it turns out she may actually be there after all -- not because of a mix-up, but because she deserved it source: irishtimes.com \| share:	119
		Look kid, these are the rules. You don't have to like them, you don't have to understand them, but as long as you're under my roof and eating my food, dammit, you're going to follow them (possible nsfw content on page) source: express.co.uk \| share:	48
		My father disowned me after divorcing my mother and left everything to my sister. So I married her - what is this, ancient Greece? (signed) Oedipally Bequeathed source: marketwatch.com \| share:	9
		The lone woman in the American Flat Track Series has run rings around every other racer source: thedrive.com \| share:	6
		"My mom wants me to give my cat to our grieving neighbor, and she thinks I'm being selfish wanting to keep my cat. Am I?" source: slate.com \| share:	28
		"My mother has turned into a crazed conspiracy theorist and she's not listening to reason, just OAN and Fox News and Newsmax. How can I save her?" source: slate.com \| share:	53

Sun May 23, 2021
		Murderous mortician John Glover meets fellow psychopath Dakota, who is surprised to see an imprisoned Alicia. And the trio all has their own mother issues, so it's a road trip resulting in a bizarre reunion. Fear the Walking Dead, 9PM ET on AMC source: comicbook.com \| share:	9
		"My parents blew my college fund on a failed business venture. What should I do?" source: slate.com \| share:	250

Sat May 22, 2021
		Yippee ki-yay mother-farkers, there's a cowboy themed Emoji set source: hackaday.com \| share:	6
		Maricopa County Board of Supervisors to GOP state senators and the "cyber-ninjas": So now it's YOUR turn to preserve all your records, because we may file the mother of all defamation suits against you source: apnews.com \| share:	80
		For many, the new normal is a lot like pandemic life source: cnn.com \| share:	142

Fri May 21, 2021
		Police in El Salvador investigating a cop for the double homicide of a mother and daughter find human remains buried on his property...as many as 100 sets of them, all belonging to women source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	88
		GoFakeMe source: ctvnews.ca \| share:	49
		14-year-old teenager does the right thing after giving birth, hands baby to customer at restaurant to help with the tip source: abc7ny.com \| share:	70

Thu May 20, 2021
		Don't know the difference between a Dodge Charger and a Dodge Challenger? Have trouble distinguishing grey from black? You just might murder the wrong person source: nbcdfw.com \| share:	88
		Taylor Swift offered St. Vincent disastrous lessons that had nothing to do with bubblegum pop source: nme.com \| share:	51
		11-year-old avoided abduction and threw blue slime at attacker "to mark him" based on watching Law & Order SVU. Lazy dads everywhere rejoice in knowing that letting your kids watch inappropriate TV shows can really pay off. Suck it, moms source: cnn.com \| share:	122
		Houston Zoo welcomes ugly-ass baby mud trumpet to Clutch City with the ritual beating of trash cans source: chron.com \| share:	4
		Why do so many American parents despise one another? source: vox.com \| share:	32
		Broadway star Billy Porter reveals he's been HIV positive for the last 14 years source: cbsnews.com \| share:	20
		Yesterday, the last three known survivors of the Tulsa 1921 massacre testified before the House Judiciary subcommittee in the centennial month. Hear Mother Fletcher (107), Uncle Red (100, USAF), and Mother Randall (106) source: c-span.org \| share:	82

Wed May 19, 2021
		Step one: Decorate your entire house for Trump. Step two: Get elected to the state legislature. Difficulty: Pennsylvania source: wpxi.com \| share:	46
		Survivor of Canada's Japanese internment camps speaks up against anti-Asian hate source: msn.com \| share:	47
		"I'm career-focused with a loving partner and active social life. I'm in my 30s, have siblings, but my mother puts pressure on me to provide her with grandkids. The guilt, the sobbing, and the emotional manipulation is enough for me to not. What do?" source: slate.com \| share:	33
		"My sister-in-law casually mentioned she was going to terminate the pregnancy that resulted in my 3-year-old nephew but her husband tricked her into missing an appointment. It was a cavalier comment and I'm worried her son will hear. What can I do?" source: slate.com \| share:	18
		"My sister-in-law casually mentioned she was going to terminate the pregnancy that resulted in my 3-year-old nephew but her husband tricked her into missing an appointment. It was a cavalier comment and I'm worried her son will hear. What can I do?" source: slate.com \| share:	18

Tue May 18, 2021
		Arizona woman accused of killing her two children with a cleaver, although officials refuse to speculate if it was Ward, June, Wally, or the Beaver source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	48
		Seth Rogan based much of his career on comedy advice he received when he was 12 years old. Which, when you think about it, explains a lot source: npr.org \| share:	78
		If I fits, I sits. If it nests, we rests source: bbc.com \| share:	5
		I care for my mother by selling her house and putting her in a home. My sister says half the house proceeds belong to her, and she wants a loan. Can I pull off wearing Mom's dresses? source: marketwatch.com \| share:	10
		Is he not 71 today? He is Devo. Happy birthday to proto-spud boy Mark Mothersbaugh source: en.wikipedia.org \| share:	30
		Hidden loads are restraining your mom, if that's possible source: bbc.com \| share:	4
		Hidden loads are restraining your mom, if that's possible source: bbc.com \| share:	4

Mon May 17, 2021
		Russell Crowe hatched fast-growing clones, unleashed them on the world source: msn.com \| share:	9
		Ducklings rescued after being trapped in UK drain. They all float down here source: bbc.com \| share:	3
		Was Game of Thrones really the most disappointing series finale in history? We can all agree Seinfeld is the best, of course while Star Trek: Enterprise has to be the worst source: salon.com \| share:	221
		New research indicates sometimes you need to say "motherf*cker" in the office source: bbc.com \| share:	18

Sat May 15, 2021
		"My sister and her husband adopted a rescue pit bull with a history of biting children. My husband and I don't want the dog around our 3 year-old son, and my sister is upset because she thinks I'm insulting her. My mom wants me to give in. What do?" source: slate.com \| share:	54

Fri May 14, 2021
		India's Covid outbreak caused by loitering youths source: ibtimes.com \| share:	40

Thu May 13, 2021
		Trudeau did NOT violate ethics law this time, but will probably apologize anyway source: nationalpost.com \| share:	25
		It's not often you see the words 'sex-addict Grandad' in a headline, but yet here we are source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	29
		"I've been sleeping with my wife's mother and I think I'm falling in love with her". Boinking the mother-in-law trifecta now in play source: al.com \| share:	16
		"So I just found out my ex-husband slept with my mom and I have no idea how to process this" source: slate.com \| share:	32
		"So I just found out my ex-husband slept with my mom and I have no idea how to process this" source: slate.com \| share:	32

Wed May 12, 2021
		Judge denies defense request to recognize expert testimony provided by Dr. Mommy from Facebook University source: stuff.co.nz \| share:	57
		FXX giving Danny DeVito and Aubrey Plaza their own animated series source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	31
		Australian navy ship drops two dead whales at San Diego's front door. I remember when my cat did that. Stank for days source: 10news.com \| share:	28

Tue May 11, 2021
		"Growing up, my mother channeled her anxiety into housekeeping; everything was in order. However, my house is in constant disarray; my two youngest kids are indifferent, but my oldest is making comments about how messy the house is. What do?" source: slate.com \| share:	26
		Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck are just friends and totally not having all kinds of wild, raunchy, dirty, porno caliber sex in subby's head source: people.com \| share:	27

Mon May 10, 2021
		You know what happens after mother's day? Son of the year award nominee source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	25
		"Comrades, we must engage in free thought and purge those among our ranks who would speak against us. For the Motherland" -Politburo Chairman McCarthyov source: twitter.com \| share:	94
		Dax Shepard posts a Mother's Day picture of his wife, Kristen Bell, and sends many kittens to the Good Place source: msn.com \| share:	97
		Mother of US teen sentenced to life imprisonment in Italy says she's worried about his mental health, citing previous suicide attempts, and anyway who didn't engage in hijinks like stabbing a cop to death after a botched drug deal when we were young? source: yahoo.com \| share:	159
		Who wears short shorts? Not members of the Six Flags Police Squad, apparently source: independent.co.uk \| share:	174
		"Every time I ask my mother a simple question, she gets offended and asks for an apology. What the hell is up with that?" source: slate.com \| share:	40
		What was the second pandemic Mother's Day like for everyone? source: theweek.com \| share:	12
		How connecting to your car tells it more about you, unless your car is also your mother that is source: local21news.com \| share:	24

Sun May 09, 2021
		Welcome ANDREAS our first named tropical storm of 2021. Coastal Farkers, sorry party's over. Time to download that dozen or so hurricane apps, and order your hurricane provisions - don't forget the bourbon. Oh, and Happy Mother's Day mofos source: cnn.com \| share:	51
		The Darlington Throwback Race is now in the spring, and NASCAR is actually racing on Mother's Day. Now if they'd just throwback the start time... It's the Goodyear 400 on FS1 at 3:30 pm ET source: nascar.com \| share:	168
		Grandmother claims she's been abducted more than 50 times by aliens since she was a little girl, has bruises to prove it. Since this is an English tabloid, you can believe she was used as a punching bag by their writers (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	67
		CSB Sunday Morning: Mother's Day edition source: fark.com \| share:	53
		Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there on FARK. Are any and all of you doing something special on this day? source: en.wikipedia.org \| share:	18

Sat May 08, 2021
		Mindhunter kicks off search for Mom-hunter source: film.avclub.com \| share:	6
		50 years later, woman who grew up watching "That's My Mama" discovers "That's My Mama" source: today.com \| share:	7
		50 years later, woman who grew up watching "That's My Mama" discovers "That's My Mama" source: today.com \| share:	7
		14 games are on tap for Mother's Day eve, starting at 3:00 PM ET on NBC for Rangers-Bruins and Sabres-Penguins. Other top matchups include the Sunshine State Showdown of Lightning-Panthers, Hurricanes-Predators, and Blues-Knights. Have a nice day source: nhl.com \| share:	153
		Court: Lose the rock or lose your kid source: nypost.com \| share:	211

Fri May 07, 2021
		70% of Americans can't even spot obvious commercialization when it stares them in the face. Also, be sure to get your mom a card and some flowers this Sunday source: today.yougov.com \| share:	44
		Who steals a goat? source: globalnews.ca \| share:	63
		When you let your child's lice infestation get so bad that it depletes her hemoglobin to 10% of normal and almost kills her, that's a jailin' source: yahoo.com \| share:	81
		Ziptie Guy is asking a judge for permission to call his Mom on Mother's Day; which ordinarily wouldn't be a problem, but both of their pre-trial release conditions include not talking to any other people facing charges in connection with the riot source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	51
		In a year where hundreds of thousands of people lost a loved one, companies are slowly realizing that bombarding people with "Hey don't forget mom on Mother's Day" sales pitches might not exactly be the most welcome or sensitive approach source: npr.org \| share:	37

Thu May 06, 2021
		Royal family wishes Archie a happy birthday. Jughead indifferent, Betty pissed off source: cnn.com \| share:	28
		Critics are accusing Meghan Markle of plagiarizing another children's book, The Boy on the Bench. Author of The Boy on the Bench: Yeah, no source: msn.com \| share:	38
		41% of Americans will try to kill their mothers this Sunday source: today.yougov.com \| share:	117
		In his defense, they are really good popsicles source: nypost.com \| share:	40
(Sanitized Database)		Little Bobby Tables has a new baby brother source: reportr.world \| share:	73
		Enjoy this Fiona the Hippo moment of zen source: msn.com \| share:	1
		Ugly-ass snow leopard cub born at Seneca Park zoo finally opens his eyes source: whec.com \| share:	4

Wed May 05, 2021
		"The United States is, by many measures, the worst place for parents" source: vox.com \| share:	93
		Pregnant woman gives birth to seven babies, then two more after someone found them hiding from all the others who were at the party (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	39
		"Terms of Endearment allowed my mother and I to finally discuss my father's struggles and passing" source: slate.com \| share:	18
		"Everything in my life is very average except my mom is a cult leader, or was a cult leader, I should say" source: kdvr.com \| share:	60
		"Everything in my life is very average except my mom is a cult leader, or was a cult leader, I should say" source: kdvr.com \| share:	60

Tue May 04, 2021
		Teen to be charged as an adult in rigged homecoming election. Where else could it be? This is like shooting methed-up gators in a barrel source: apnews.com \| share:	66
		"My friend is trapped in a codependent abusive relationship with her dog. How do I save them both?" source: slate.com \| share:	20
		"My son is 14, coping with identity issues; he mentioned girls in his English class say whatever they want and blast the 'straight white men' for being part of the patriarchy. I fear he may be influenced by pathetic incels. How can I help him?" source: slate.com \| share:	35

Mon May 03, 2021
		"My mother is homophobic; she shunned me when I came out and refuses to invite my spouse to any family events. My sister is getting married; my spouse and I are invited, but mom is threatening to make a scene, boycott, and ruin the wedding. What do?" source: slate.com \| share:	28
(Some Guy)		Should woodworking be included as a Maker Hobby? Subby says yes. Show off your latest woodworking project in this weeks Maker Monday Thread. Link goes to premium pen kits, many on sale. Bonus Question: Are you making something for Mother's Day? source: woodcraft.com \| share:	42
		"I believed my boyfriend when he said he was ready to be a father. Boy, was I wrong" source: slate.com \| share:	31

Sun May 02, 2021
		Jet delivered mid-air, mid-ocean to new owner source: kshb.com \| share:	45
		Apparently, Santa lives in Shreveport, LA source: fox7austin.com \| share:	11
		Apparently, Santa lives in Shreveport, LA source: fox7austin.com \| share:	11
		Paid parental leave as popular as chocolate source: theconversation.com \| share:	85

Sat May 01, 2021
		We TOLD you there was voter fraud. Don't you believe us now? source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com \| share:	107

Fri April 30, 2021
		Florida Man is so unpredictable. A samurai sword today, an armed man without hands tomorrow. We never know when. We never know how. We only know where source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	19
		4,189 Helen Lovejoys: Ban Netflix for mocking Jeebus source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com \| share:	113

Thu April 29, 2021
		Dear Prudence, I used to claim to be Mexican even though I'm white. Now that I'm woke, how do I handle this? source: slate.com \| share:	18
		Dear Prudence, I used to claim to be Mexican even though I'm white. Now that I'm woke, how do I handle this? source: slate.com \| share:	18
		Man wins £23,500 Mitsubishi Evo sports car in a internet giveaway. Since you're reading this on Fark, you can guess what happens next source: walesonline.co.uk \| share:	88
		My mom added me to her bank accounts before she died. Do I have to admit to my siblings what a greedy SOB I am? source: marketwatch.com \| share:	7
		My mom added me to her bank accounts before she died. Do I have to admit to my siblings what a greedy SOB I am? source: marketwatch.com \| share:	7
		"My wife has gotten clean and sober and she's a whole new person that I despise; she's no fun and a bit of a sourpuss. How can I get my fun wife back without her drinking?" source: slate.com \| share:	30
		"My wife has gotten clean and sober and she's a whole new person that I despise; she's no fun and a bit of a sourpuss. How can I get my fun wife back without her drinking?" source: slate.com \| share:	30
		"I am 100% white but I lied about having Mexican heritage. Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?" source: slate.com \| share:	19
		"I am 100% white but I lied about having Mexican heritage. Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?" source: slate.com \| share:	19

Wed April 28, 2021
		News director asks meteorologist if he still believes Jesus is the Messiah after his conversion to Judaism source: advocate.com \| share:	63
		Unlike Subby last night, here are the five things you're doing that are disappointing your mom source: prnewswire.com \| share:	32
		12-year old set to graduate High-school and college in the same week this May, a decision he will in no way regret in 20 years when his friends and co-workers share stories about their exploits at prom or the wild parties they went to in college source: cnn.com \| share:	123
		"I am a happily child-free woman in my 30s, and I have a group of dear friends I've been close with since college. One is having a child. I find the idea of pregnancy horrific, and I do not like children, babies, and toddlers. How can I pretend to?" source: slate.com \| share:	48
		Former county deputy uses stand-your-ground defense to justify strangling his son to death. Let's see how that chokes out for him source: winknews.com \| share:	47
		Former county deputy uses stand-your-ground defense to justify strangling his son to death. Let's see how that chokes out for him source: winknews.com \| share:	47

Tue April 27, 2021
		You probably won't find these passive-aggressive signs very funny. Sorry in advance source: sadanduseless.com \| share:	14
		"My boyfriend and I have been together four years, and we're talking about getting married and starting a family. But he gets irrationally and extremely angered at little things. Will this make him a bad father?" source: slate.com \| share:	31
		"My grandmother is being scammed online and thinks she'll be marrying Toby Keith. How can I keep her safe without breaking her heart?" source: slate.com \| share:	22
		Get Smart writer Bernie Khan 86ed at 90 source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	15

Mon April 26, 2021
		Beans, beans. They're good for your heart. The more you eat, the more you are likely to find a big mother-farking snake next to them on the shelf in Target source: wxii12.com \| share:	31
		"My father is a pastor; he and my mom were mentally abusive. I've distanced myself from them. My youngest sister fell in with a cult-like church in college. She keeps trying to convert people and only talks about the church. How can I save her?" source: slate.com \| share:	25
		Derek Chauvin could be facing charges for kneeling on a black person. No, not that one source: theroot.com \| share:	97

Sat April 24, 2021
		House Democrats to their Republican colleagues: Really? You're going to force a floor vote on censuring Maxine Waters? Oh it is ON now, you insurrectionist motherfarkers source: thehill.com \| share:	127

Fri April 23, 2021
		bzzzt "I need a price check on a bottle of water and a big blood-cleaning mop at checkout, please..." bzzzt source: chicago.suntimes.com \| share:	47
		Yes, doing drugs during pregnancy will harm the child source: axios.com \| share:	35
		Meanwhile in Florida, a koala and a goat get together and make a klipspringer source: news4jax.com \| share:	2
		It's "ducklings rescued from storm drains" season again source: fox2detroit.com \| share:	13
		Nothing got between Brooke Shields and Mother Nature for Earth Day and I do mean nothing (possibly NSFW) source: pagesix.com \| share:	65

Thu April 22, 2021
		Must be nice to be a rich MAGA terrorist source: wusa9.com \| share:	55
		Head of crocodile shot by Prince Philip to be sold for £5,100 at auction. So if you've got any heads of crocodiles shot by Prince Philip lying around, now is the time to cash in (possible nsfw content on page) source: dailystar.co.uk \| share:	25
		No, you can't have a pony. Not yours. Unless you're Lady Louise. Then you get ponies source: pagesix.com \| share:	29
		"W" on golf. "I played in my first year. Then when we had troops in combat I didn't play at all [...] because I didn't want some mother to see, you know, these kids in combat seeing the commander-in-chief out there playing golf. So I didn't play any" source: msn.com \| share: