headlines found matching 'Money' NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Thu May 19, 2022 |
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After seeing the overinflated values, wildly fluctuating prices, egotistical "bro" cultural, and disconnection from the real economy, major crypto exchange decides that stock trading complements their existing business quite nicely
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After seeing the overinflated values, wildly fluctuating prices, egotistical "bro" cultural, and disconnection from the real economy, major crypto exchange decides that stock trading complements their existing business quite nicely
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This x-wing starfighter is off to fight the evil empire
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Git my good overalls out Brandine, we're goin' to the fancy Walmart
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Analysis of Hunter Biden's hard drive reveals... nothing we didn't already know, he did drugs, he has had tax problems, and the biggest shocker, family members of Presidents, VPs etc, are pretty well connected
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Riverdale gets sent downstream
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TFG brings in Junior to fix Truth Social. In other news, Truth Social to fold and disappear in 5...4...3...2
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WallStreetBets collects another hedge fund scalp. Sorry, Melvin
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| (quotecounterquote dot com) |
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Fitzgerald is quoted as saying "The rich are different from you and me." Hemingway is quoted as responding: "Yes, they have more money." The story of how this myth exchange got to be to the left. Discussion as to who was right to the right
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| Wed May 18, 2022 |
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MTA = Money Thrown Away
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Robert Reich and Hugh Jackman show up on "The Simpsons" to explain why Homer's lifestyle is out-of-reach to many Americans. Through song
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For all you Little Leaguers out there: It's better to steal bases than your teammate's equipment
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Weekly mortgage demand definitely not made of brick
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Former Olivia Rodrigo fan burns $3500 in tickets because of vaccine requirements. Olivia last seen drying her tears with his money
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CNN to produce documentary on the rise and fall of HQ Trivia, followed by 30-second commercial covering the rise and fall of CNN+
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Florida man drew up a fake pardon from President Trump to try to wiggle out of federal fraud charges. He also tried to deed himself properties that belonged to Jeffrey Epstein
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The benefits of flying on budget airlines instead of major carriers. Hint: You're don't have enough money to fly with a major carrier so there's your one benefit
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Shut up and take my money. Yes, it's a four minute ad, but it's worth it
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House Speaker Nancy Pelosi warns nationwide baby formula shortage may trigger indictments, spankings of behinds
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Thank you Mario, but part of our princess is in another castle. And another part is in yet another castle. Mistakes were made, Mario
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"Google, how do you say, 'teats up' in Russian?"
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US Soccer nails the equalizer
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Patient gets charged $40 for crying at health clinic, needs to go back to just crying at home to heal her emotions
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Golfer Justin Thomas thinks it's insane for fans to pay $18 for Michelob Ultra at PGA Championship, calls on PGA to treat them better
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| Fri May 13, 2022 |
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To save money, British government proposes eliminating 20% of all civil service jobs, which they claim were created to deal with the pandemic and Brexit, because god knows those two things aren't problems anymore
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Remember last week when Juneau Alaska bought a second-hand ski lift, or the week before when they bought their cops a tank? This week someone finally noticed that they don't actually have any money
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Why would a congressman divert over $400,000 in campaign money to his wife? Certainly not because she's a hypnotist
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Someone is going to have to tell Congressional Republicans that their boyfriend has left them to spend more time with his money
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Shaq stands up for Brady when everyone else runs him down, says he deserves all the money he's getting. "When it comes to greatness of this kind, if you lend any anger, you're a hater"
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What does the IRS do when they can't process filings? They destroy the paperwork of 30 million filers. That's what, taxpayer butt
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El Salvador might not have picked the right time to get into crypto
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NY discovers another way to save money
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| Wed May 11, 2022 |
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Intruder slept in bed at home. Chairs, porridge unmolested
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Chicken Soup for the sale
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Howard Stern: "I wish the Republicans would go back to being old school Republicans, where they didn't want to invade your private life." Unfortunately, Prescott Bush, GOP senator and Planned Parenthood treasurer, died in 1972
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Remember that story a week or so back about the two women who were refugees from Yugoslavia two decades back, who have been searching for a Minnesota stranger they met on the plane who gave them money and hope? Well here's some good news
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To be fair, they were both created with binary support in mind
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Crypto, Coinbase going crapto
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Someone get Brad Pitt, Steve Carrell, Ryan Gosling and the boys on the phone... I think we have a sequel here
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You can't. That's the new American Dream
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Goldman Sachs buys entire community of Cypress Bay because investment
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| Fri May 06, 2022 |
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Sometimes you find a great deal online, and click "buy" before figuring out shipping costs or where you'll store it. This is like that, but with an entire ski lift
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Sometimes you find a great deal online, and click "buy" before figuring out shipping costs or where you'll store it. This is like that, but with an entire ski lift
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Proving the metaverse is just like the real world: Getting involved in a yacht club ends up being a good way to lose money, even just paying for gas
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Florida GOP has no intent of returning any of Disney's campaign cash. Obvious tag explodes, Florida fills the void
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Look at this lady who took 4 jobs to pay off her student loans. LOOK AT HER. Aren't you ashamed, Libruls? Shame
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Cop goes to prison for hurting someone during an arrest. The families of those killed by cops would like a word
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James Earl Jones was only paid $7000 for his role in Star Wars, and he thought that was good money. If he only knew the power of the Dark Side
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Boeing moves HQ from Chicago to 1) back to Seattle and its commercial hub 2) St. Louis Defense where money is made 3) South Carolina to deal with the 787 manufacturing farkups 4) Arlington, VA across the river from its sugar daddy
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| Thu April 28, 2022 |
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Dollar Store manager saves 85-year-old from phone scammer, continues to gradually bilk old lady for crappy food
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| (Popular Info) |
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Hate the idea of living in a regressive new Dark Age? Too bad -- the moneypigs at WalMart, Anthem, Eli Lilly, and the U.S. Chamber of Commerce are going to buy one for you anyway
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Central African Republic makes Bitcoin official currency. Yes, 96% of the population has no access to it... but then again, they probably didn't have any access to the previous currency either
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Central African Republic makes Bitcoin official currency. Yes, 96% of the population has no access to it... but then again, they probably didn't have any access to the previous currency either
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Turns out Elon Musk paid a bunch of money for a social media platform that had more bots than they originally let on
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| (Some Guy) |
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From the Careful-What-You-Wish-For Dept: Deebo Samuel to get his payday, but at what cost?
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Leonardo DiCaprio joins Lewis Hamilton's vegan burger empire in the hopes that there's always money in the banana stand
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ANOTHER $33B for Ukraine? What did you do with the money we gave you last month?
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Jimmy Cramer unveils his newest stock ranking system. It's called: SHORT EVERYTHING I RECOMMEND
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Trump misused funds? Color me shocked
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| (Some Blockchain) |
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Edward Snowden is an OG crypto bro? Shut the front door
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| Mon April 25, 2022 |
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Tom Cruise's Mummy reboot wasn't broken or miscast, just set in a bad place and wrapped in crap
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Much spike, very twitter, so musky
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Nancy Pelosi on how she spent her COVID quarantine: "All I did was stay home and raise money." And while she stayed home, she watched Bridgerton and Warriors games
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Tonight on RAW: We celebrate 20 years of Randy Orton & his "outta nowhere" RKO. No bags allowed. Becky returns for her first time since losing at WrestleMania. Umm, why is everyone carrying Asuka & "Free Ali" signs tonight? Find out at 8 PM ET on USA
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Behind the scenes, Nets reportedly "exasperated" by the Ben Simmons "injury" situation. This is my shocked face
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America is flooding Ukraine with anti-tank rockets, artillery, magicians, ammuni... wait, back up
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$318,000 to study people?? Well here in Montana, there are red hats, slack jaws, tobacco spit, and no morals. Where's my money?
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| (Some Guy) |
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"NFTs Stolen After Bored Ape Yacht Club Instagram, Discord Hacked" headline means either the 2010s are in the past in this timeline, we're playing MadLibs again, or these are some really good drugs
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Your dad was right all along
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If you are heavily invested in nuclear weapons manufacturers, I have some good news and bad news. Good news is, you're making a ton of money. Bad news would be that you're not going to be able to spend it in a burned out wasteland
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Russian ambassador: Well, sure, Russia LIT Ukraine on fire, but by helping Ukraine fight back, "What the Americans are doing is pouring oil on the flames," Because this war could all be over if the Ukrainians would just stop resisting
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Donald Trump's social media empire on the verge of collapse on news that people were actually dumb enough to put money into this thing
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| (Some Guy) |
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Florida State Representative cuts funding for Special Olympics because they failed to "honor" him. Well get that man a participation trophy
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Kyle Schwarber has some things to say and show to Fark's favorite umpire
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| Tue April 19, 2022 |
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Put out an APB for a male suspect driving a... car of some sort. Suspect is wearing a hat. Repeat, suspect is hatted
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Out of money, talent, and apparently a will to live, Jalopnik is resorting to re-publishing old stories in between slide shows
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Sega wants to party like it's 1999
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'Absolutely disgusting' that family was suckered out of thousands in an emotional support monkey scam. Should have gone for the trunk monkey
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Here's how to protect your retirement savings from soaring inflation, assuming you can finish digging those loose coins out of your couch cushions
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In a sign that the sanctions are stopping the flow of Russian money to their internet trolls, QAnon's Russian chapter goes rogue, turns on Putin, and is now supporting Ukraine; while warning of Russian deep state propaganda online
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US Secret Service seizes over $102mil in crypto, will soon have to engage in reverse "cop math"
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US Secret Service seizes over $102mil in crypto, will soon have to engage in reverse "cop math"
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"The Metaverse is increasingly looking like a scam." The Matrix unavailable for comment
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This headline is inaccurate. What they MEANT to say is that someone like you, but with money, could own the Picasso once owned by RBG
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"Elon Musk May Have a Powerful Ally to Buy Twitter." Economists are tentatively calling it "money"
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Governor DeathSentence has raised over $100-million for his Presidential ... I mean, his re-election run
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| Thu April 14, 2022 |
| (The Hustle) |
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Netflix buttons, Netflix time and Netflix money
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Minnesota Wild player fined for giving Evander Kane the finger. Hockey fans find his Venmo and donate to cover the fine. Fark: Kane's ex-wife donates $200
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Putin has basically stolen (raises pinky to mouth) one trillion dollars from the Russian people to fund this war among other things and has an absurdly high approval rating. Maybe TFG was on to something
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How the top 10 US income earners make their money: Tech, tech, hedge fund, heir, hedge fund, hedge fund, hedge fund, tech, tech, tech
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| Wed April 13, 2022 |
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Deputies looking for man in pot shop robbery. But aren't we all really just looking for a man sometimes?
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B-b-but did she cheer up?
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Rising capital expenses hit some businesses hard. Film at 11
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Just like the Tolkien Legendarium and your daydreams about Jessica Alba, the Russian threat to dollar hegemony is a fantasy
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You continue the legacy by letting it go and not making a hamhanded money grab sequel that is decades too late
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Use this one easy trick in saving money from Pharma Bro. Stiff your lawyers. Tag is for the lawyers for not getting paid up front and for Pharma Bro for making sure your appeal will be handled well
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Meet Zack. Zack saw the NY subway shooter and called the cops. Zack is a hero. And he's SINGLE
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"Why there are growing fears the U.S. is headed to a recession?" "Because more than 60% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck, while the billionaires control the media, the government, and most of the money" not found in the article
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Russian soldiers are revolting, and not just for their war crimes
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Critical Acquisition
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Critical Acquisition
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While not certainly complete, here's a pretty good starter list of who in Hollywood has more more money than sense
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| (Sorry Anti-Vaxxer) |
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Looks like Covid has yet to lose its insatiable appetite for soft, pink right-wing radio personality flesh
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The Metaverse is just like the real world, but instead of a 5% sales tax they added a zero
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Reds Owner: "Yeah, I know you ain't happy about how bad we've been the past 15 some-odd years. But you want us to re-locate? Do ya? 'Cuz we could, and then you'd be REAL mad"
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Amsterdam will ban tourists from 'coffeeshops' but will put up signs informing them of street drug dealers who will be only too willing to sell them more than cannabis
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Elon Musk: I'm donating terminals to get Starlink to Ukraine. US taxpayers: Explain this bill then?
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| Mon April 11, 2022 |
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Teacher suspended for six months for embezzling 3.6 million yen (US$30,500). If you feel that is a light sentence, you also have to take into account this teacher will also suffer from more cow puns than Devin Nunes ever has
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Uh oh, time to re-activate the Freedom Convoy 1st Division, stat
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Lord Pickles apologizes for misquoting fire victim tally, having a funny name
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The Federline boys are getting some competition for their inheritance
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Manhattan's newest skyscraper, the Steinway Tower, a.k.a. the Coffee Stirrer, the latest residential tower that sways when it's breezy. You pay extra for the sway
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Russia: We'll see you in court court. *Pays lawyers in bushels of acorns*
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Attention lawmakers- John Oliver has all the internet dirt on you, and you may want to start working on privacy laws as it's not just the little people who are exposed
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Tips for dealing with a terrible tipper
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ARTICLE: Crypto for dummies. SUBBY: Yes it is
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$2 billion murderbucks. They went to Jared
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