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headlines found matching 'Monday'
Wed July 01, 2020
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
"Kayleigh, does President Trump believe that it was a good thing that the South lost the Civil War?"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Thanks liberals. Rick Wiles is taking his ministry "deep underground" at end of July because you have brought God's wrath on us. Hope you are happy. UPDATE: Rick Wiles has already postponed going "deep underground"
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man hospitalized after overdosing on horse anesthetic stolen from vet. Doctors say the man is now in stable condition
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 30, 2020
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Los Angeles to SHUT. DOWN. EVERYTHING. for the 4th of July weekend
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Stay classy, Aurora police officers
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Wtf: Desantis has to veto bill allowing towns to ban sunscreen. Reality: Some sunscreens cause coral reef bleaching and they're only banning specific types
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Brandi Glanville posts photo of her kissing Denise Richards, and you've already gone and clicked the link, right. I could literally post anything here. Hello?
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Just in time .... duunnn dunnn... for NYC beaches to reopen, ... duuuunnnn duun... a guest shows up to welcome swimmers ... duuunnnnnnnn dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn dunnnn
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In the wake of Princeton dropping Woodrow Wilson's name from campus, NJ Governor announces that he too is woke to anti-racism, and is doing his part by no longer using Wilson's old desk
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Trump's "white Power" tweet stayed up so long because, even though it set off a "five alarm fire" with senior White House aides, the President had gone golfing and "put his phone down" so they couldn't reach him to get him to agree to delete it
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you are the person who stole an 800 lb. speed camera from downtown Toronto - awesome
source: torontopolice.on.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 29, 2020
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Russians are paying bounties to kill US and NATO forces and the White House is mad about it. Not that they're doing it, but that it was reported. Come discuss Putin's Puppet, Traitor Trump, in Monday's MSNBC discussion thread - start 8 PM ET
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on RAW: A double contract signing for Drew vs Dolph and Asuka vs Sasha, which will absolutely not end in a mixed tag match. Apollo continues his weekly U.S. Title defenses & what is Seth up to this week? It all starts at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
What happened to John Roberts, lament conservatives, he used to be cool now he's like bogus
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
In New Jersey, indoor dining at restaurants is now off the menu indefinitely
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
The Golden State Killer, Joseph DeAngelo, is set to plead guilty Monday, bringing to a close over 40 years of fear and suffering
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
White House admits Trump's supporters are white supremacists
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Trump to declare the RNC will be held at Mar-A-Lago in 3...2...1
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Republican head of Armed Services Committee wants Pentagon to confirm Trump did not know, and he wants to know THIS WEEK
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
11 people shot across NYC. No word where they landed
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 27, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Supreme Court again supports the new "Vote and Die" campaign
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UK puppy believed stuck in rabbit hole for two weeks doesn't care, comes home for Caturday
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 26, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
Oh, joy, Trump's calling legal protesters terrorists and vows to protect consolation prizes for racists
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 25, 2020
(MacRumors)
 
 
 
Apple set off on a lifeboat from the HMS Intel when it saw that the ship was going down
source: macrumors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 24, 2020
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Guinness brewery steps up to the bar to resupply Irish pubs with fresh pints for its coronavirus reopening on Monday with thousands of kegs. Bonus: They're also 'Raising the Bar' to fund and help pubs pay for new hygiene and safety measures
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 17)
 
 
 
Time lapse video shows only 12 percent of people wearing masks as they take a Covid-cation in Myrtle Beach
source: cbs17.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 23, 2020
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
That's one way to get a job through social media -- Farm work given as punishment for teens after stolen goats traced online
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
White House admits Trump was involved in firing Geoffrey Berman who Trump said he was not involved in firing
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
"The sheriff's office said several videos showed Adkins in a car pointing guns at passing cars." Or as they say in Florida, 'Monday'
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Unknown author tells Tucker Carlson that a vote against Trump is a vote against "civilization". And by "civilization", he means "the land of cotton". Look away
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The fog's getting thicker, and Penney's list of store closings is getting larrrrrrrger
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Pence tries to take another bullet for his beloved President, pretends to fall on Air Force 2 stairs to distract from Trump's embarrassing old man ramp shuffle people keep talking about. Nice try Mike, but too obvious
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Guy in Florida steals a $900,000 boat, promptly crashes it into pilings
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Oh no, New Yorkers aren't rushing back out to expose themselves to coronavirus for the good of the economy. Thanks Obama
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Despite his claims of the missing $2.1bil being bogus, Wirecard's ex-CEO arrested on very real charges
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Actual headline because this is farking 2020: Mississippi governor rejects 'separate but equal' 2-flag plan
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Some nights, the audience just sits there like a bunch of potted plants
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 22, 2020
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Miami mayor blames coronavirus spike on restaurants. Jacksonville mayor sticks his fingers in his ears and screams nah nah can't hear you. Lenny, Lenny, Lenny
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Monday. Welcome to the MSNBC Primetime thread, The Madness of King Donald edition. The show starts at 8 PM Eastern
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on RAW, it's Championship Monday: Asuka defends against Charlotte. Bayley & Sasha face The Iconics. The Street Profits take on the Viking Raiders & R-Truth vs ninjas. Plus Rey Mysterio returns to confront Seth. It all starts at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Iran's naval photoshop brigade is looking for a new dock to interface with the Indian Ocean's network
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Wirecard's missing $2.1bil may or may not be real, but the COO's pink slip definitely is
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
It's time for Monday Night Futbol. Burnley make the great trek to Manchester to face Citeh. Will Burnley make their first game back count? Will Citeh be feeling the effects of a midweek game? Action starts at 3:00 pm ET on NBC Sports and streaming
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Delta says it's ready to resume two-way infection between the US and China
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Small and medium businesses are feeling the brunt of lockdown pain, but then again, they're not getting multi-$billion bailouts for their stonk prices and execs either
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The Big Apple's offices begin reopening. "What Monday is going to look like at this point is going to be anyone's guess"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 18, 2020
(Scotus Blog)
 
 
 
After Monday's major LGBT ruling, will the Dreamers be denied? Will Trump turn over his taxes? Tune in Thursday, same bat time, same bat channel (SCOTUS opinions released 10 am EDT)
source: live.scotusblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJHL Tri-Cities)
 
 
 
University of Virginia changes athletic logo. This is not one of those "spot the differences" photos
source: wjhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 17, 2020
(Barron's)
 
 
 
The SEC has put bankrupt Hertz' stock back into 'park'
source: barrons.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Branch Covidians in North Carolina celebrate the new record spike in cases by initiating the "Burn Your Mask Challenge"
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The death of a 16 year old climber had a huge impact on her training partners, her coaches and her club. But not as huge as the impact she had on the ground after falling 500 feet
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Japan Pro-Wrestling)
 
 
 
Can Kazuchika Okada finally get revenge on Gedo for his betrayal? Will "Blue Justice" be rendered unto Minoru Suzuki? Is the only American in this year's tournament Boned, Soldier? NEW JAPAN CUP 2020 continues @ 6AM EDT on NJPWWorld.com
source: njpw1972.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 16, 2020
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
FDA approves treatment that's a large cause of OOOH SHINY. "ironic" tag levels up
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Rep Illhan Omar has announced her father has died from the Coronavirus. No joke, no snark, just a reminder that the virus is STILL out there, still killing people, and that you farkers need to stay safe, wear a mask and keep washing your hands
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Paige Spiranac explains why she doesn't wear underwear when...and you're gone
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
CoronaBarbie says people criticizing Trump for having zombie-filled rally have TDS, which stands for Trump is Deranged Syndrome
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
Plan is to test NFL players for COVID-19 about three times a week, test kneeling players for drugs about the same
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
This just in from February: Trump is ready to be done with the pandemic
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
49ers give Shanahan new 6-year deal 3 years into his last 6-year deal
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Carney-barker-in-chief dodecuples down on hydroxychloroquine even after FDA revokes its approval for COVID. "Dodecuples" might not be a real word, but that's what we've come to in the era of the Infomercial President
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Japan Pro-Wrestling)
 
 
 
Will El Desperado be mauled by the "Stone Pitbull"? Can Yota Tsuji pull off an upset over Togi Makabe? Hey, look, it's Honma. The 1st Round of NEW JAPAN CUP 2020 finally begins @ 6:00 AM EDT on NJPWWorld.com
source: njpw1972.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
So, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz seems to be doing well enough leading his state through the crises of COVID-19 and the murder of George Floyd, let's try to distract him with a bogus recall effort
source: mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 15, 2020
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
GSK gets FDA approval for HIV drug for children, won't say if it's chocolate or cotton candy flavored
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on RAW, we get the fallout from the Backlash PPV: Is Seth setting a trap for Rey's son Dominick? What will Orton's reaction to his match with Edge be? Have Lashley and Lana come to an end? Find out tonight starting at 8 PM ET on USA Network
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Monday. You know there will be moments of joy during the MSNBC Primetime block, thanks to the SCOTUS ruling today. Let us celebrate with them, starting at 8 PM
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Chalk Art Charlene's husband fired from wealth management firm
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"United Airlines secures $5bil loan backed by loyalty program." Where to begin on this one. Wherrrrre toooo beginnnnnn
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
" . . . and coming into the bottom turn in Congo by a neck it's Coronavirus, Coronavirus taking the lead, but here comes Measles from behind and on the inside stretch it'S . . . Ebola"
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Russia sentences US citizen and military man Paul Whelan to 16 years of hard labor for being a particularly bad spy
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotus Blog)
 
 
 
Down the stretch they come. Will Dreamers get deported? Will the CFPB get axed? And what about Trump's taxes? SCOTUS releases opinions at 10 a.m. EDT Monday and Thursday this week
source: live.scotusblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 12, 2020
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Woman killed, boyfriend wounded after alleged dispute over dog pooping. Dog that hates the person you're dating seen taking notes
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 10, 2020
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Warren Moon: 'Tom Brady is not the same quarterback he was 3 or 4 years ago.' Also, 'Hotels.com is a website on which you can book hotels.'
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL-TV Baltimore)
 
 
 
Other fish run from bigger things. That's their instinct. But this fish doesn't run from anything. He doesn't fear
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Seattle police chief meets with protesters at abandoned east Precinct. No word on number of casualties
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
President of Burundi born on a Monday, christened on Tuesday, married on Wednesday, got COVID-19 on Thursday, grew worse on Friday, died on Saturday, buried on Sunday, that was the end, of the President of Burundi
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
The Prada-wearing Devil admits to the obvious
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 09, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The WHO releases its new hit, Ball of Confusion
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Just when you thought 2020 couldn't get any worse, a 24 year old man breaks the unspoken truce with an ancient evil race of monsters
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Florida man lets 12-year-old drive Jeep 85 mph... He also told officers he had been drinking
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Trump's favorite pollster shows his approval rate jumping over 6 points. Oh did I say jump, I meant to say it was pushed down like a 75 year old man
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Cardinals coach Kliff Kingsbury on racial injustice: 'We're going to support our guys.' You know who else said that?
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Japan Pro-Wrestling)
 
 
 
Praise Muta, New Japan Pro Wrestling RETURNS to action Monday, June 15, followed by a full New Japan Cup 2020 starting June 16. Subby last seen stocking up on Red Bull, Jolt Cola
source: njpw1972.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Dave Portnoy: Warren Buffett is an idiot. Daytrading is the easiest game I ever played. Warren Buffett: What? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over my money counters
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Being a Trump kook costs a woman her scholarship. Also demonstrates a lack of brains to be a Trump fan. Colleges generally want students who have brains, so it's understandable
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
We got it, Ted. Nobody wants to see you naked
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Man holds sign on corner to help address uncomfortable conversations on race
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
When you take the concept of having a "vanilla concrete" a BIT too far
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Algemeiner)
 
 
 
College students think it would be 'cute' to draw swastikas on themselves and post photos to social media. Narrator: "They thought wrong"
source: algemeiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 08, 2020
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Man SUCCEEDED in killing colleague with a forklift. The dark side of Rocky has become apparent
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Another Monday, another crisis. Let's catch up as we watch the MSNBC Primetime block, starting at 8 PM Eastern
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
For the last time, guys: Pee-pees are EXIT ONLY
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
With the economy shrinking by a record 16%-21.8%, it's no strain to say the pain is plainly in Spain
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
With lockdown easing, Ireland's coming back to life as reports of properly masked leprechauns begin to appear
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Messy Nessy Chic)
 
 
 
Here's some random, beautiful, interesting things to help ease our collective case of the Mondays
source: messynessychic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Rick Scott: "China is deliberately trying to sabotage efforts to make COVID vaccine." China: "Prove it. There's no need to be shy." Rick Scott: "Errrrr, ummmm, errrrr"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Panda escapes from his enclosure in the Copenhagen Zoo Monday morning, saying he just wanted to step out for a Danish
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
That excuse didn't work at Nuremberg in 1946 and it doesn't work now
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Italy's debt is unsustainable and eventually will face restructuring, is also Italian
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
New study indicates that shutdowns prevented over 60 million Coronavirus infections in April
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
International Flavors & Fragrances sales drop due to stinky, unpalatable virus numbers
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 07, 2020
(CBS News)
 
 
 
What did the military do when Trump ordered 10,000 active military troops to immediately deploy to American cities last Monday? Slow walk the order and try to satisfy him with National Guard deployments
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 06, 2020
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Fark Ready Headline: Drunken Attleboro man broke into zoo because he wanted to 'look at the monkeys'
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 05, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
Well, i hope you're proud of yourselves, protesters. You've RUINED the President's weekend and caused him to have to cancel his golf trip. But don't worry, he's still planning to go to Maine Monday to do a vital inspection of a cotton swab factory
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 04, 2020
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
That Bible Trump showed off during Monday's photo op? It's a controversial liberal edition that evangelicals don't even consider to be a valid version of the Bible
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The Homeland Security Chairman has demanded a briefing on how the Secret Service was used in Monday's photo op (link to PDF statement in tweet)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Metro Times)
 
 
 
Just like when I need help with my phone, when Detroit needed a peaceful response during protest, rely on a 16 year old
source: metrotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 03, 2020
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Square grouper usually found in the ocean off Florida confuses everyone by turning up in small Massachusetts pond
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The Rupert Murdoch-owned NY Post is blowing the dog-whistles so hard the subterranean cave-dogs living beneath Mars just perked up their ears
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
His Orangeness to news organizations: I hereby DEMAND that you correct your stories about me using tear gas on civilians for my Bible photo op. HEREBY DEMAND. News organizations: Uh, we hereby talked to the CDC, and they hereby said it was tear gas
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Police sources: 'looters steal 2.4m of Rolex watches'. NY Post headline: 'looters swipe 2.4m of Rolex watches'. 4th paragraph: 'store spokesman says no watches were stolen'
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Even Pat Robertson can't find a way to justify Trump's response to the protests
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Nude sunbather mistaken for dead body near railway line in the UK. "It is not as uncommon as you might think"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
The Weeknd donates $500,000 to equality groups and urges fans to do the same and major corporations to go public with their donations
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
Washington Redskins participate in #BlackoutTuesday on social media in support of racial justice
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Department of Defense)
 
 
 
SECDEF Mark Esper is pissed about the negative press he's been getting about Monday's photo op. Wants to flush out any that may be swirling around and really clear the air
source: defense.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Pentagon official resigns over Mark Esper clearing park of protestors for Trump. "Support and defend the Constitution of the United States ... and to bear true faith and allegiance to the same".... "I believe that you violated that oath"
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 02, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Parents complain after Nickelodeon runs 9-minute "I Can't Breathe" video. Just tell 'em that's what Sandy Cheeks said after losing her helmet in Bikini Bottom
source: deseret.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
LAPD chief walks back his statement suggesting that George Floyd's death is on looters' hands
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The most dangerous gang on American streets Monday night
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
UK woman gets almost 200 cards for her 105th birthday, is now terrified of 106
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Floyd Mayweather knocks out George Floyd's funeral bill
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 01, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
SCOTUS declines Bernie Madoff trustee case, leaving it more of a trapezoid
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on RAW: Seth faces Aleister Black & hosts the "retirement ceremony" for Rey Mysterio, Asuka is ready for Charlotte and Apollo Crews defends his U.S. title vs a mystery opponent of his choosing. The action starts at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Another Monday, the world is still turning, the fires are still burning, the people are still dying and mourning. This is the MSNBC Primetime discussion, starting at 8 PM Eastern
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
WH Press Secretary: "And we also note the President's history of condemning white supremacy and racism." RIP Irony: ~400 BC - June 1, 2020 2:34 PM EST
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Agilent files for senior note offering as soon as it finishes its quarantine binge of "Golden Girls"
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Trump unhinged call to governors to crush the protesters audio leaked
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Facebook in trouble as employees say they'll resign if Zuckerberg doesn't pull his lips from Trump's flabby ass
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Armenian prime minister tests positive for Covid-19, putting the future of Armani suits in jeopardy
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
England's first sporting event, a greyhound race, was won by a horse named Im Sophie
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delish.com)
 
 
 
Krispy Kreme giving away free donuts every day this week. Your Mom celebrates
source: delish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Spartan Motors to change its name, and no, three shells are still not involved
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 31, 2020
(10 News)
 
 
 
Man arrested for fatal stabbing at Escondido Burger King, with 'yeah, he did it' mugshot
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 30, 2020
(UPI)
 
 
 
Hurricane season doesn't officially start until Monday, but we could have our third named storm before then because 2020 is just bound and determined to answer the question, "What else could go wrong?"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 28, 2020
(NASCAR)
 
 
 
Take 2 of the Bertha-delayed Uniforms 500k Nascar Cup Race at Charlotte Motor Speedway. Let's see if Chase can steal another bow tonight at 7pm ET on FS1
source: nascar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Man spends 24 hours vandalizing high school. What's that you say? Florida? Yes, of course, he was naked
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 27, 2020
(Independent)
 
 
 
Four out of 1008 isn't TOO bad is it?
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Some guy says the "spy" pigeon captured by India is just his pet, and the secret code it was carrying is his phone number
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Fierce-some, ugly-ass pudu ready to take on any dik-diks that cross its path
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
France bans hydroxychloroquine to treat COVID-19 because reasons. And science. And safety concerns. And little-to-no efficacy
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 26, 2020
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Minneapolis Police Department fires the four cops who got caught on video murdering George Floyd
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
One idiot employee defies a stay-at-home order, you defend him, and suddenly your approval rating plunges by 20 points
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Mmmm... Cosmic ring of fire donuts
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRTV Great Falls)
 
 
 
You know those "share the trail" signs? Grizzly bears can't read
source: krtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Patrick Ewing out of hospital after testing positive for Covid-19
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 25, 2020
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Monday, May 25th. Memorial Day (observed). Today is the day we remember those that have given their all in service of the world. Let's light a candle and gather for the MSNBC Primetime block, starting at 8 PM Eastern
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aviation Herald)
 
 
 
That Pakistani airliner that crashed appears to have made contact with the runway on the first landing attempt because the landing gear was never deployed. (PICS, Video)
source: avherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Kevin Hart's family finally understands why audiences are tired of him
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 24, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Australia has gone from apocalyptic wild fires to once in a decade end-of-the-world type storms
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 22, 2020
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Thank you Mario. But our princess is in another castle
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 21, 2020
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Ok, who started playing Jumanji?
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
So I finally got my significant other to attend a sporting event, and then this happens
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 20, 2020
(CBS Detroit)
 
 
 
Wisconsin woman who's been taking hydroxychloroquine for 19 years to treat disease that it never is contracts Their New Hoax anyway
source: detroit.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Don't be playing with anyone's cornhole during the pandemic
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
How to Give a President an Aneurysm: Lesson One
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 19, 2020
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Re Mi Do Do So
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Well, there's 1100 people who won't be coming for dat booty
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
MGM to start reopening Mississippi casinos with limited capacity. Don't worry, the odds are ever in your favor
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASCAR)
 
 
 
Loose nuts lead to fines and suspensions for several teams after the NASCAR race in Darlington
source: nascar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Walmart online sales up 74% as average store BAC slips to 0.8%
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
People are having 'COVID-19 parties' to build up immunity. Stupid, Asinine and Facepalm tags all on ventilators, Dumbass tag in ICU
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
NFL testing new protective face masks; will undoubtedly claim concussion benefits
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 18, 2020
(Radio.com)
 
 
 
NYC is likely to start reopening in early June. Mayor deBlasio hoping tourists will come and visit to look at dark theaters, closed museums, out of business restaurants and stores, and fenced off parks
source: 1010wins.radio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
It's Monday, the start of a brand new week. Time to kick off your shoes and your Sunday blues and watch the MSNBC Primetime block, starting at 8 PM Eastern
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
This whole Trump thing might end up being a self-correcting problem after all
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
University of Kentucky fires 4 coaches from its cheerleading staff after squad members were found taking part in hazing activities including alcohol use and public nudity
source: amp.kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Awwwww golly. Eddie Haskell's no longer playing with the Beaver
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Japan launches new unit to step up outer space defense, either by developing large space tigers that combine into a giant robot or relaunching the battleship Yamato
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
Protestors who look like they haven't seen the inside of a gym since 11th grade come out to support opening of gym despite government orders to stay closed
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Earthquake hits Swedish mine, causing no injuries but leaving experts fearful and wondering where new supplies of Swedes will come from
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 17, 2020
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Umm... You fellas have nothing to worry about. I'm a professional
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Welcome Tropical Storm Arthur to the hellscape that is 2020. Bonus: expected to clear out East Coast beaches, so it's got that going for it, which is nice
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 16, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hawaii requires a 14-day quarantine for all out-of-state visitors. Let's see what happens when a New Yorker goes to the beach instead
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 15, 2020
(Busted Coverage)
 
 
 
Officer please, you know it's hot out here. I just wanted to go for a drive and air my penis out
source: bustedcoverage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 13, 2020
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Texas decided to open businesses earlier than recommended. Let's see how that's turning out
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Assault with a deadly bouquet
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
So you have a Canadian girlfriend? Hold my beer and watch this
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 12, 2020
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
David Lynch is our new Bizarro World weatherman
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Nashville man who placed a plastic target on the lawn of the NAACP president said he did so because he thought it looked like a beautiful flower (w/pics)
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Trump campaign advisor: "This is coronavirus press conference number, what, probably somewhere in the 50s? POC liberal women have been present at every one of them and asked stupid questions. Sometimes for HOURS." Dogs barked
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
Tagovailoa has the top selling jerseys in the NFL, followed by Brady, then Tagovialoa
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
$cott Bora$ beg$ player$ to reject MLB'$ re$tart plan$
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Zillow offers stock and debt, over-zestimates their numbers once again
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Russia: Overloaded ventilator bursts into flames and kills five coronavirus patients
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Conor McGregor wants to fight again, this time with UFC interim lightweight champion Justin Gaethje
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WV Gazette Mail)
 
 
 
West Virginia library board holding a Zoom meeting get an unexpected presentation of child porn and racism. In other words, it was a Monday
source: wvgazettemail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 11, 2020
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Let's reopen state parks but leave restrooms closed. What could possibly go wrong?
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Deep fried butter consumption-related coronary deaths predicted to decrease this summer in North Dakota
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Ever on the bleeding edge of the virus fight, the White House declares we should test a million nursing home residents and staff. Fark: in the next two weeks
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
It's Monday so time to Jam in the Van with Friday's Rebecca Black
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
What's the REAL US death toll from Coronavirus? Well in NYC alone, there were 24,000 "excess deaths" between late April and May. 19,000 of those were confirmed Coronavirus cases, but the other 5,000? Yeah probably NOT a coincidence
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New Yorkers, it's time to start your engines. Alternate side street of the parking is coming back
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Having trouble with your Shakespeare homework? Why not ask Patrick Stewart, Tamsin Greig, or David Tennant for help...for real?
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 08, 2020
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
California tells residents they should expect to be on fire pretty much year-round
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
OANN demands retraction of truth
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 07, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
Gap sued over a gap in their rent at their midtown Manhattan store
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 06, 2020
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Trump: I thought coronavirus mortality rate was 'about filling up Yankee Stadium with death.' Narrator: Not only is Yankee Stadium already full but Citi Field is halfway there
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YardBarker)
 
 
 
Cowboys and Chiefs could be in trouble in 2021 with Dak and Mahomes if NFL salary cap goes down $80M
source: yardbarker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Cadillac attaccackackack
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 05, 2020
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Volusia County FL beaches opened last weekend. 100 water rescues by lifeguards ensue. So much for social distancing
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Fauci dumps bleach on right-wing conspiracy theory that SAR-CoV-2 was manufactured by China
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
DOW jumps 300 points on hopes that we'll turn those machines back on
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Seeing how popular LeBron's "The Decision" was with fans, NFL to release 2020 schedule on Thursday night in three-hour telecast
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for licking her way around the grocery store
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
"Smarmy Steve" Mnuchin: while all those other suckers are following the CDC's guidelines and avoiding unnecessary travel, now is a "great time for people to explore America,"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 04, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Ohio sets up a website where employers can report any runaway serfs who don't show back up to work after "re-opening" because they feel "unsafe"; promises to cut off all their benefits so they won't have any choice
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Time for Monday Madness. Let's all take a deep breath, relax and discuss the happenings of the day during the MSNBC Primetime thread, starting at 8 PM Eatern
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on RAW: Drew faces off vs Murphy (Who's not your Buddy, pal), The Street Profits face The Viking Raiders for the prestigious Red Solo Cup trophy & a Last Chance Gauntlet match to replace Apollo Crew at MiTB. It all starts at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Vader and his stormtroopers enforce lockdown in Philippine village on Star Wars Day because of force they did
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Apple is planning a four-part bond deal for later Monday because why spend your billions of cash when you can spend someone else's?
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
NYPD: Look, mayor's orders. We can't cite all those white folks crowding the pier in the nice part of Manhattan until we make our black-people-beatdown quota in the Bronx
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Warren Buffett says Berkshire Hathaway sold its entire stakes in the four largest U.S. airline carriers. Must be time to buy
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Starbucks to welcome customers in-store starting Monday. Truly, things are coming back to normal when a stoned humanities major can misspell your name on a cup of burned coffee
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sauce, Sir)
 
 
 
Japan to draw up streetlight encounter protocols after U.S. Defense Department releases videos
source: nippon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Uber Eats is no longer on the menu in eight smaller markets
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Good news Jaguars fans
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Michigan security guard shot, killed in dispute over face mask at Family Dollar. Meanwhile, heavily armed protesters walk around capital with no shots fired. Wonder what the difference could be? Hmmmmmm
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
J Screwed
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 03, 2020
(WBNG Binghamton)
 
 
 
In case you were wondering, yes, you can still take a Greyhound bus
source: wbng.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 02, 2020
(WLTX Columbia)
 
 
 
Restaurant terrorized by saliva-coated Hand of God
source: wltx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida: Florida man is facing trespassing charges. Dumbass: after security found him camping. Epic: on Walt Disney World's Discovery Island
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 30, 2020
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
In a rare Entertainment/Geek crossover, a geology teacher tweeted Dwayne Johnson and asked him what his favorite rock was. The Rock replied
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Did California open its beaches too early? Let's ask this shark
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Do you like to shop at Costco? Better have your mask ready
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man gets a DUI, gets released from jail, shaves mustache and goes and gets another DUI
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 29, 2020
(Craig Scott, Marty)
 
 
 
Ginger snaps
source: nwestiowa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
With chicken, pork processing plants closing from COVID-19 infections, some creative person stocked up their refrigerator with "the other white meat"
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Pence is just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh Lord, please don't let him be misunderstood
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 28, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
"When the announcement came from the White House on Monday morning that there would be no briefing, there was a sigh of relief...from weary fact-checkers and health care professionals, and from members of President Donald Trump's own political party"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
German doctors: Will post n00dz for PPE
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
If you are driving a dead woman's car, you should probably not be speeding... especially if you put her dead body in the trunk of her car
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 27, 2020
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
(Not the Onion) PETA plans to erect a billboard in remembrance of fallen poultry: 'In memory of the chickens killed in a nearby fire'
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
It's time for the Monday Maddite thread. [insert clever joke here]. fun starts at 8pm EST
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on RAW: Asuka, Nia Jax & Shayna face off in a three way battle of MiTB entrants. Drew signs up the Monday Night Messiah for a trip to Claymore Country & Lawler tries not to say to quiet parts out loud. It all starts at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Captain's log, Stardate unknown: The Pentagon has declassified three UFO videos taken by US Navy pilots
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Meatless Monday is starting to slurry into Meatless Tuesday and Wednesday. Hopefully, this will only affect days that end in a Y
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Nevada joins the new country of Pacifica
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Even Howard Stern says he's all in for Ba-Ba-Biden
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
"Alabama has three Confederate-related holidays: Robert E. Lee's birthday ... (celebrated along with birthday of civil rights leader Martin Luther King); Confederate Memorial Day [today] ... and birthday of Confederate President Jefferson Davis"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 26, 2020
(UPI)
 
 
 
Oh look, the airlines just got another $9.5 billion to keep their executives comfortable in these troubling times ... er, we mean for "payroll aid". Yeah, that's what it's for. Riiiiiiiiight
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 25, 2020
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"You ain't pinning this on us" -- Largest movie theater chain won't reopen even if government permits
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 24, 2020
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Would not buy again
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LinkedIn)
 
 
 
Georgia business owners give opinions about whether they're ready to 'open back up'. TL;DR: FARK no
source: linkedin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
In other news, Kim Jong Un probably already dead and buried
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 23, 2020
(WCJB Gainesville)
 
 
 
Bicycles have become the new toilet paper for people tired of just walking around the block for exercise
source: wcjb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 22, 2020
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Fat Boy coming back to life. No not Kim Jong Um
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(France 24)
 
 
 
Dr. Anthony Fauci tells 7-year-old that the Tooth Fairy won't catch the virus
source: france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Private petri dish in Tennessee announces it will open on Monday
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NWestIowa.com)
 
 
 
Three charged for assault using cheese. If they get a conviction out of this, Taco Bell will want to lawyer up
source: nwestiowa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Those who intentionally spread coronavirus could be charged as terrorists. So say we all
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 21, 2020
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
NYPD busts 4/20 "pot party" in Manhattan after getting social distancing tip from snitch at ...wait for it ...4:20 p.m. on Monday
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Italy marks first day of decreasing active COVID-19 cases, smallest number of new infections in two months
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
The Princess Bride on Disney+? As you wish
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(E! Online)
 
 
 
Chris Cuomo ''finally'' leaves harrowing quarantine that included day trips to his property in East Hampton and picking fights with bicyclists
source: eonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Which U.S. states have idiots for governors?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
J. Biden / M. Obama 2020?
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Cuomo, Trump to meet at White House today as soon as all the knives are locked up by the staff
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Arrest warrant issued for pastor Tony Spell. No wonder he asked all his parishioners to send him their stimulus checks, he's going to need bail money
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Colts legend Mike Curtis passed away at age 77. Let's remember the time he decked out a fan on the field, shall we?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 20, 2020
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Please, proceed
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on RAW: Will Drew nail the Monday Night Messiah for crossing him, three more MiTB qualifying matches: Aleister vs Theory, Rey vs Murphy & Apollo Crews jobbing to MVP. Also Bianca proves "she goes here" now. It all starts at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
It's Monday again. It's day 38 of the "Sit your ass DOWN" order in my house. However, we can still get together for the MSNBC Primetime thread, starting at 8 PM Eastern
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(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Virginia Republican Party claims "COVID-19 rules are not about your health." That's right, you morons. They are about ALL OUR health
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
People in glass dressing rooms with naked teenage girls shouldn't throw stones
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Russian fighter planes intercept US reconnaissance plane .... to pick up medical supplies I guess
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
United Airlines loses $2.1bil for the quarter so it's applied for $4.5bil in government loans to go with the $5 bil it's already received. How's your $1200 holding up?
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Below $15/barrel, below $12, below $10, below $8, below $5. If you have any spare containers you might want to buy some oil. Or just wait, because maybe they'll pay you to take it
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(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
DuPont formulates DeProfits
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Supreme Court: Mostly guilty isn't enough to convict someone; unanimous jury verdicts required. This means you, Louisiana
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Worldwide plague and weeks of quarantine not have you depressed enough? SyFy is running "Battlestar Galactica" in its entirety, non-stop starting at 12:01 AM on April 20th. Wait a second, that's today. WHAT YEAR IS IT?
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 19, 2020
(WMTW Portland)
 
 
 
The breakup of America continues as a fifth group of states form the future New England Republic
source: wmtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 17, 2020
(ESPN)
 
 
 
NFL player holding out from voluntary virtual offseason workout
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Thu April 16, 2020
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Facial expressions in first two photos match, supporting old saw about dogs and masters
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 15, 2020
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
A sci-fi cult is being blamed for the fires outside Chernobyl
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
The FDA coughs up an approval for the first COVID saliva test
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
12-week-old police puppy naps through his entire swearing-in ceremony, hopefully wakes up to join in with the big dogs on woofday 🐾
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(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
After the lockdown, people will want their own little private section of beach. So we're going to bring back the Victorian bathing machines
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 14, 2020
(KTBS Shreveport)
 
 
 
Louisiana now has flies that enter the human body through the ears and nose. No word from health officials if they wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex and make them want to follow the orders of Khan Noonan Singh
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(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Telling a cop wait until I see you on the street will not stop the police from arresting you, and in fact will allow the police to add an additional charge against you
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Private island that is one of the richest zip codes in the country is having no problem getting COVID-19 tests for its residents
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Man arrested twice in three hours for entering Wawa without mask. Punishment for the third time is a cage match with Wawa deprived NJ coffee addicts
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
You'll be pleased to know that the 93 year old woman with the "I need beer" sign now has 10 cases of Coors Light. Also, beer has vitamins
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Woman strips naked and jumps on top of police cruiser after being released on bail for violating lockdown mandate. And since it was not in America, the giggity tag can actually be used
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(BBC)
 
 
 
White House Reporter: "After leaving the White House Briefing Room on Monday evening following a marathon two-hour 24-minute press conference, I felt I could have knocked off my bottle of gin at home in one sitting"
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(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Sunday: Subby jokes about WWE thinking of itself as an essential business. Monday: Florida declares that WWE is an essential business. Never change Florida, never change
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Mon April 13, 2020
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Putin wants to doubleteam Trump with the Corona, leaving a great mental image in your head for a Monday
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Dearly beloved, we gather here to say goodbye to another Monday and discuss the MSNBC Primetime programming, starting at 8 PM Eastern
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Sanders officially endorses Biden
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
And lo, it was foretold by that Cinemax movie you watched at 2:30am back in 1992 where President Michael Ironside does something really stupid to wipe out all of America. Yet all you wanted was to see boobies for the first time
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 10, 2020
(WGNTV Chicago)
 
 
 
Chicago's United Center has been completely filled with non-perishable food - 25,828 boxes. 640 pallets. 774,840 lbs and one Ark of the Covenant
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(Ames Tribune)
 
 
 
Kum and Go to begin full fuel-service on Monday
source: amestrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 09, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
After 3 nights in the ICU, Boris Johnson still refusing to get on the cart
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
The latest thing Josh Hamilton abused: A) Heroin B) His daughter C) Cocai... Dude, WTF?
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 08, 2020
(Wisconsin State Journal)
 
 
 
Wondering who won in yesterday's Wisconsin primary election? Tune in next Monday for "What Absentee Ballots Are You Referring To?" or "We Have A Lawsuit BINGO"
source: madison.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
WI GOP Monday: Absentee ballots that aren't returned in time can't count. WI GOP today: Except those from Republican-leaning areas, of course
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(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Susanna Hoffs performing "Manic Monday" with Billie Joe Armstrong
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 46 Charlotte)
 
 
 
If we weren't on edge enough being locked down, the power company will set off the nuclear disaster sirens this morning
source: fox46charlotte.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
At yesterday's Lie-lapalooza, Trump says we've built 18 hospitals during the past few weeks
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 07, 2020
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
What day is it?
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
You know, handing your baby off to a bystander is the right thing to do if you are involved in a police chase
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Looks like we're gonna need a new Acting Acting Navy Secretary
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
'At the Car Wash, you can get COVID-19. At the Car Wash, the dumbest people you've ever seen'
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"The resident at the time had a muzzleloader pistol on him." Because that's a totally normal thing to carry in the 21st century
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Alton Illinois mayor cracks down on parties in his town. His wife is arrested in a bar. This is not going to make your home confinement any easier, your honor
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(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
A woman and her 61-year-old father were hit in the head with a baseball bat after approaching a large group of college-age people and warning them about social distancing. It's the Florida way
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(Citizens Voice)
 
 
 
If you're wondering why you are having a hard time finding tortillas in the crisis, ask why Mission isn't keeping its employees safe
source: citizensvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Defense News)
 
 
 
Acting Secretary of the Navy Thomas Modly issues sincere "I'm sorry if you were offended" faux-pology as he senses impending Full Support™ of the Commander in Chief
source: defensenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 06, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
In Louisiana, churches violating orders to limit crowd size are punished with cute pieces of paper called Citations. This church has six citations and next Sunday will make it seven. Cute
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(LA Times)
 
 
 
California will loan 500 ventilators to New York and other hot spots. Doesn't even ask for praise first
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Hangin' arounds, some kind of social distancing clown. Rainy days and Mondays always get me down... to the new MSNBC Primetime thread, starting at 8 PM Eastern
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
"Lana. Lana. LAAANAAA" "WHAT?" "Season 11's been delayed"
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Governor Tony Evers to GOP controlled legislature, "In Wisconsin, people die from beer, cheese, and cannibal serial killers, not from voting"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFB Baton Rouge)
 
 
 
Baton Rogue confirms a Covid-19 death where the person caught the virus and was killed by it in less than 24 hours. And we know this because the victim was only 1 day old
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(Off The Beaten Trax)
 
 
 
The Monday schedule to get your week rocking- Walter Becker/S. Dan and more airs at 12m/3a, 6a/9a, 12n/3p and 6p/9p Big In The UK Show at 2a/5a, 8a/11a, 2p/5p, and 8p/11p And our talk with Edgar Winter is on at 4a/7a, 10a/1p, 4p/7p and 10p/1a
source: live365.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 03, 2020
(PopCulture)
 
 
 
Game show fans do not like ABC's new evening offering, Wheel of World News Tonight
source: popculture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"The Houston metro area had reported fewer than 950 confirmed coronavirus cases among its 9.3 million residents as of Monday. On that same day, there were 996 people hospitalized in the region with confirmed or suspected cases of COVID-19"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 02, 2020
(CBC)
 
 
 
Nova Scotia grocery store receives anonymous cash donation from the community to help staff through the crisis, staff decides to pay it forward and use the money to buy groceries for senior citizens
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Ask for help to save the crew on your aircraft carrier from COVID-19? You're fired
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
GA House Speaker admits he wouldn't be House Speaker without vote suppression
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
What to say to your parents' forwarded emails, aside from "Why are you still on AOL?"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 01, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
GA Mayor: Alright ya'll need to start "social distancing" and staying at home so we can lick this heah Cornavirus thing. Later that Day: Never mind, who am I to infringe on your freedoms? Still later: What? I'm the Mayor? That's my job? OK then
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Arizona reports 29 deaths, 1,413 cases statewide. But it's a dry cough
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Mike Lindell, the craven CEO of MyPillow, says the media was "evil" in covering his appearance at the White House press briefing and decision to cut over a hundred from his workforce
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(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida Man arrested for trying to infect Hawaii
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 31, 2020
(KJZZ Tempe)
 
 
 
Milquetoast governor issues milquetoast stay-at-home order
source: kjzz.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBW Buffalo)
 
 
 
"Mommy, what does "Cleveland Steamer" mean? I heard it during the YMCA's Zoom story time"
source: wkbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Just Jared)
 
 
 
In the rear?
source: justjared.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
States to Trump: Dude, WHAT THE EVERLASTING F*ck?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Sports announcer Joe Buck would like you to stop sending him your sex tapes for narration
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Hundreds of New Yorkers turn out to gawp at the ship they will shortly be visiting
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Ticket camera companies' stock is down 50% due to a reduced number of victims on the road. Fark: They consider themselves "essential" businesses
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYC is ready for its moment as the star of a dystopian sci-fi film
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