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headlines found matching 'Man'
Fri December 09, 2022
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Rocketman tells Rocketman to rocket off
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
Sure WVa state senator Randy Smith (R - iiiiiight), I'm sure that will ABSOLUTELY cut down on drug use
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Common Dreams)
 
 
 
You are going to believe this: Big Oil is pretty much just using Big Tobacco's playbook, manipulating data
source: commondreams.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The California Department of Transportation is looking for a name for their new Mascot (a humanoid orange cone) and is asking kids 5-18 for names with prizes available. Coney McConehead may not get it done but better suggestions to the right
source: gosafelyca.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Almost all investment literature warns potential investors that "Past returns are not indicative of future performance." But hey, just look at these "technicals"..., I gotta "Golden Cross"
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
I'll see your Kyrsten Sinema and raise you a John Fetterman
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The pic of the "eco-warriors" who glued themselves to a removable railing during a Germany concert it's (chef's kiss) perfect
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Every 10 years, Sight and Sound releases its pick for greatest film of all time, and the current champion is a bleak 3-hour examination of a woman chopping vegetables in her apartment from 1975
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Picking up Stormtroopers with the Force and using them as human shields? Yes please
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for giving neighbor head instead of just sharing sex toys
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
He survived the roll over car accident but forgot to watch for trains
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"My ex has a new girlfriend, but I'm still having sex with him. What do we have?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Different breeds of dogs think differently due to generations of human breeding but they all deserve a damn fine steak
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
What's the deal with lawyers getting banned from Madison Square Garden?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Letting pregnant workers receive accommodations like water bottles, stools, and bathroom breaks-is akin to government-funded "abortions on demand." I can't decide whether he really hates women this much or if he's a cartoon villain
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Meadows, Eastman, Clark, Giuliani, and Trump
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
Weeners
 
Either this is a parody of J-pop/K-pop stardom, or their management is punking them big time with their logo
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
GOP congresswoman melts down over the horrifying prospect of people being allowed to just live their farking lives without a big, stupid, christofacist boot on their necks
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The House Committee on Oversight and Reform has issued a 79-page report on Washington Commanders owner Dan Snyder that concludes that he is an asshole
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
On the bright side, she'll have a great story to tell when the conversation turns to "worst date ever"
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside the Magic)
 
 
 
Disaster strikes at Kilimanjaro Safari at Disney's Animal Kingdom? The driver will just drive it like they stole it
source: insidethemagic.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 08, 2022
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
New fear unlocked: dancing parasitic worms in subby's balls
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
Hollywood is so different than the Heartland. Man with gun spotted at gay club, police respond within seconds, no injuries
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
EU top court: Google must remove 'manifestly inaccurate' data. Google: Bless your robe-y little hearts
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Try this one simple trick to get a $6,000 Walmart discount
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Equestria Daily)
 
 
 
Opaline wants magic - all the magic - and Misty is stuck with getting it. It's the old Trojan Human trick on My Little Pony: Tell Your Tale - Under The Mistletoe, where sleep-snacking dragons are the easiest to catch. Or are they?
source: equestriadaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Today's GOP: "What happens when a strongman starts to appear vulnerable? Chaos ensues. People rise up and/or the power vacuum is filled by local warlords"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dlisted)
 
 
 
'Botox injections directly into your anus in order to cure hemorrhoids' just might be the most horrifying thought you'll have today
source: dlisted.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
Hero
 
A man opens the paper one day, he sees the world is full of misery. He says, "I can help"
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
"Somehow, Johnny Cash is dead." Now the man who wrote that (and so many other great articles on country music) is gone too. But his speech from June offers great advice on "how to produce brilliant features & profiles using ancient hillbilly secrets"
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
That attempted Nazi coup in Germany is even more wacky than you thought. And they are connected to QAnon and antivaxxers. Link goes to the English version of the German state-owned broadcaster
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMPH San Joaquin Valley)
 
 
 
Vineyards wear shoes?
source: kmph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida man plies his trade, proves Occam's razor
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UniWatch)
 
 
 
XFL unveils latest sh***y uniforms, misspells league owner's name. In other words, very on-brand for the XFL
source: uni-watch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Louder Sound)
 
 
 
Two-thirds of The Lone Rangers reunite. The Lone Rangers? That's original. How can you pluralize "The Lone Ranger"?
source: loudersound.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
60-year-old woman trying to buy two bottles of wine upset after being asked for I.D.: "I will have to go further afield for my weekly shops now, as I cannot show my face in that shop again"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Woman breaks 100-mile Ultra Running record. Some bitter dickhead official: nyah, 716 feet short, nyah
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
This story has everything: English buccaneers, a manhunt, silver Arabic coins, Bahamian havens, gold nuggets in a Rhode Island potato field, video games, Tom Holland, pirate's booty, Ireland
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
"Sonic the Hedgehog" creator can't stop hoarding gold rings before they're available, gets arrested twice for it in three weeks
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Us Weekly)
 
 
 
Jennifer Lawrence claims to be Hollywood's first female action hero. Uma Thurman, Kate Beckinsale, Angelina Jolie, Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu, Milla Jovovich, Sigourney Weaver and more might disagree
source: usmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Hannity encourages Republicans to vote by mail, 'cuz if you can't beat 'em or Gerrymander 'em or suppress 'em, then join 'em
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Audacy)
 
 
 
Enter blandman
source: audacy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 07, 2022
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Early reports say the boy befriended a surly panther and a singing bear, but declined to reveal secrets of man's red fire (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zillow)
 
 
 
When things get tense on the home front, the his-hers-and-the-kids multi-mansion compound could be just the thing to provide some space
source: zillow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The perils of bilingualism or why I had to tell my manager's manager to stop referring to some employees as "fappers"
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Would-be goat thief not the GOAT of goat thievery
source: sandiegouniontribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Barstool Sports star Francis Ellis offers a fair and balanced assessment of Fox News during a hot-mike moment: "They're just trafficking in hate"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(InsideNova)
 
 
 
Local man and Air Force pilot lauded for pushing 4 kids
source: insidenova.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Apparently Joe Manchin was just being a trolling edgelord this whole time
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Women sue Apple over stalkers tracking them with AirTags. Apple unsurprised, since their AirTags data showed they'd been going to lawyer's offices
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Neuralink is allegedly six months away from causing humans to spontaneously combust
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Analysts declare meme stock mania over. r/wallstreetbets expected to take that personally
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Hey, it's great-great-uncle Norman. How's the afterlife? ARGGGHHHHH"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
 
 
The man in black fled across the desert, and Amazon followed
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Sports)
 
 
 
Jon Heyman: "Arson Judge appears headed to Giants." Heyman, 5 minutes later: Scratch that
source: nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Scientologists like Kirstie Alley have progressed high enough up the skill tree that they're supposed to superhuman. Which is why a bunch of them die of advanced cancer, such as Alley who found out she had colon cancer the night before she died
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Murder victim found doused in both acid and alkaline. Police believe someone was trying to have him neutralized
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
This kind of week could break Donald trump, says increasingly calm man
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Woman leaves 50 lbs of human poop in front of Texas police station in illegal dumping incident
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida man with apparently serious plaque steals $1375 worth of toothbrushes from Walgreens
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Proves there is no try?
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 06, 2022
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Pitcher Joe Musgrove broke the record for fastest thrown pitch... in Antarctica
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mark Hall)
 
 
 
Man to spend up to 40 years in prison for card store robbery. Got no Good Luck or Sympathy from the judge. But that 40th anniversary one might be one to look forward to
source: wtaj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
Hero
 
Who needs a feel-good story right in the feels?
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
Hero
 
Hawaii will give up Daniel K. Inouye highway when Mauna Loa pries it from their cold dead hand, kind of like what Daniel K. Inouye did when he killed those Germans
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Vacationing Chicago Cop transforms into Florida Man
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Patriots want some guy to be man of the year
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In case you ever looked at a holiday manger scene and thought "this is way too complicated," here you go
source: westelm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Consequence)
 
 
 
After Trevor Noah departs from "The Daily Show", Comedy Central will have several guest hosts at the anchor desk, including Sarah Silverman, Al Franken, Chelsea Handler, and Hasan Minhaj. Craig Kilborn not asked to check availability
source: consequence.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRIC Richmond)
 
 
 
A Virginia restaurant refused to serve customers due to their religious beliefs. That is, the customer's religious beliefs
source: wric.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
Man proves he can hit the broad side of a barn
source: wfmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Iconic 1978 doc "Scared Straight," used to scare young punks into avoiding life of crime, lives on in Japan, where template is used for live stuntman demos scaring little kids into observing traffic safety
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Goldman Sachs plans to invest in crypto in wake of FTX's implosion because if anyone knows about collapsing financial markets it's Goldman Sachs
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
Hero
 
Carrot Weather is getting an update that adds the ability to romance its homicidal AI character. Who wouldn't want to do that? This app just gets better and better
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
And this is why a "civil" war in the U.S. would look nothing like the War of Rebellion, and would instead be a nationwide version of the Lynyrd Skynyrd church fight scene in Kingsman
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
ESPN's Bomani Jones absolutely NAILS it about Coath Primetime: "He sold a dream that God sent him to save HBCU's, then walked out on that dream"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A non-tech journalist who doesn't read XKCD explains how the new European USB-C cord mandate will fix all the previous standards problems. Left out is the fact that some only deliver power, some only data, and some both, but no way to tell visually
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Hip Hop)
 
 
 
Kanye says that Hitler was the real victim. JFC, get this man a whole mountain of help
source: allhiphop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
You cook a chicken using a hotel coffee machine ONE time, and it ends up going viral
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUCI)
 
 
 
Today's 4-hour serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from The Human League, Bryan Ferry, Hunters & Collectors, and more. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #412. Starts @ 1:00 PM ET, LGT streaming options
source: kuci.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Boris Becker to be released just 8 months into his 2-1/2 year sentence for multi-million-pound bankruptcy fraud and deported to Germany. Sounds about white
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
What wood Jesus do?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Independent)
 
 
 
Firearms fired over feud with Mr. Flashy's friends in Finglas. Mr. Blinky and Mr. Twinkle wanted for questioning. Mr. Pink and Mr. White confused
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"The woman who runs the corner store I frequent has invited me to her holiday cottage for a sex romp but I'm married. What do? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
St. Louis Cardinals announcer Dan McLaughlin a shoo-in for this year's Tony La Russa award
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
I'm sorry TSA, I forgot the gun was in my fanny pack, I was too busy packing my leg warmers, Walkman, cassette tapes, Cabbage Patch doll and Aquanet to notice
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Futurity)
 
 
 
Cats have owned humans since the days of early farming
source: futurity.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Taiwan Semiconductor to invest $40 billion in U.S. manufacturing, or almost one Twitter
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Remember that Manhattan DA case against Trump that seemed to have fizzled out? Well, it looks like someone's refilled the ol' SodaStream and pumped it back up again
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
There is a sale at Dollar General? We're gate crashing
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Suspect who taunted a special needs kid, then knocked out the eye of a woman defending him, is arrested. Surprisingly, Florida isn't mentioned anywhere in the article
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Boulder)
 
 
 
Rudy, the man, the myth, the legend. Long live Rudy
source: dailyboulder.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Kidnap County man receives $553 ticket from state troopers after driving over 5 miles with snow-covered windshield. Still licensed driver, folks
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Have you ever thought entirely too much about Frosty the Snowman?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man arrested for bringing nunchucks in carry on bag at LaGuardia airport. To be fair, nunchucks are one of the more effective tools for defending against NYC rats
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 05, 2022
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sen. Kennedy (R-eally dumb) said, "These high IQ stupid people have an answer for everything. You know why? Because they think they're smarter...than the American people," while wearing a button referencing a fictional Alabama man with an IQ of 75
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Get out your wax from Staxx and play a sad song tonight. Jim Stewart, the man who brought so much soul into our lives and our loves, has passed on to greater spiritual heights
source: bestclassicbands.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
NewsFlash
 
Kirstie Alley finds a way to leave Scientology
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Our magnetic boot-soles stuck faintly to the icosahedron, a rubble of nickel and iron. Moving like a man with gum on the soles of his shoes, Sammann made the rounds and checked our connections to the Maddow Monday MSNBC thread at 7pm ET
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Grinch attacks reindeer in booze induced fury
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
What am I reading? "UK Nurses must drop pay demands to send a message to Putin"
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
The woman who bragged about the power going out in Moore County in protest of a drag show has a bit of a history. And yep, it's pretty much what you'd expect
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida man sees police officer on a horse, then can't believe he's arrested for doing what any Florida man is expected to do in that situation
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
General Manager Brian Cashman will continue to earn Bronx cheers for at least the next four years
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Clearwater PD: Florida man had sex with dog in front of people including children; damaged church property, a mailbox and potted plants. On the plus side Florida has no state income tax
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Does fark have any advice for this poor man. tired of having drunken orgies with their partner and all their friends and neighbors, in this edition of letters that the author made up so they have something to talk about? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(El Paso Times)
 
 
 
Man arrested after shooting at aptly named bar
source: elpasotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Last Tasmanian tiger finally comes out of the closet
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If you happen to find the $65 trillion in missing U.S. Dollar debt, please contact Chairman Jay Powell so he can set it on fire before anyone finds out
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Workers are now simply ignoring executive mandates to return to the office: "What's the point of me being in my office, just because they want to see me in the office?"
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
"There have also been shortages of key anesthesia medications that are used for most surgeries, and critical pain medications such as fentanyl, he added." What he can't just grab enough to kill every human on the planet off the internet?
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
World Cup Round of 16 continues at 10AM ET with Japan, fresh off wins w/Germany & Spain, facing what should be a bit nervous Croatia whose only win was w/Canada. Then at 2PM World best Brazil takes on Worst Korea. Yeah. Lets do that football
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Sam Bankman-Fried faces decades in prison for committing the one crime America still prosecutes: stealing from rich people
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
But it's pronounced "Throatwobbler Mangrove"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Boogieman's gonna get you...TONIGHT. Yeah she's right, it's a whole different vibe
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Heritage Foundation opposes Manchin's permitting reform because of socialism
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Why did Florida Man stab his mom, sister, resulting in mother's death? "Because she never pushed me to be a man"
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Highly anticipated Heinz Christmas Dinner Big Soup, featuring all the holiday trimmings in a soup can, has hiat UK shelves for just two quid "and many Brits say they love it" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 04, 2022
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Longtime "Sesame Street" human Bob McGrath has passed away. His final age is brought to you by the numbers nine and zero
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAJ)
 
 
 
Man admits that he drank, "not nearly enough," said he was, "here," and was about to be released to his family when he tried to snack like Dahmer
source: wtaj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
If you're going to impersonate someone while doing bad things, impersonate a member of Bowling For Soup, just for the MadLibs-style headlines
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If Catfishing was an Olympic sport, this New Zealand man might take the gold for managing to swindle a police car
source: rnz.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCBY Coos Bay)
 
 
 
Man who drives 530-foot truck wonders how he got stuck in a snow storm
source: kcby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Woman gives birth to lottery and wins baby on same day. Wait, I'll come back in and try again
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAAY TV)
 
 
 
Woman uses skin whitening cream. You might not guess correctly what happens afterwards
source: waaytv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Officials question security protocols, Indiana Jones fandom after man brings gun to Sword Game
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Bad: Plastic microfibers polluting the Mediterranean. Good: Providing habitats for hundreds of different lifeforms. Bad: Bacterial life, some of which are deadly to humans
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for Submitter's most cherished holiday tradition: A complete and accurate transcription of Ralph's old man's fake swearing from "A Christmas Story"
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Consequence)
 
 
 
I cannot see a way Kanye's ever coming back from this
source: consequence.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 03, 2022
(The Republic)
 
 
 
Indiana trailer manufacturer gripped with doubt, ennui after losing out to duck farm, patio furniture company for "Coolest Thing in Indiana" Challenge. The Colts say "Welcome To Our World"
source: therepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Will Herschel Walker get his just desserts? Will we be forced to endure Sarah Sherman? Will anyone be mocking Elon Musk? Will we get a Christine McVie tribute? Keke Palmer hosts, SZA is the musical guest. Saturday Night Live, 11:30PM ET on NBC
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Paul's Memory Bank is going on AutoPilot this week, so just about any song I've played this year is fair game for the AP to select during the 3 hours starting at 8PM ET. How many Sir Elton songs will be played?
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
It remains to be seen how many roaches will continue to scatter over the many roaches it will certainly attract
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Change the title of a non-Christmas movie, TV show or book to make Christmas: Clear and Present Manger, Human Santapede
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
70-year-old drives 7 miles on DC trail before striking an 80-year-old woman walking to the same farmers market
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Let's play 'Guess The Voter's Registration Affiliation' of this trend-setter who has been double voting for years
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Nick Fuentes is using his newfound fame to make friends wherever he goes
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
You'll shoot some guy's eyes out kid
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Having failed at beer, Molson Coors manages to fail at CBD drinks, too
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Sure, you've been drunk, but have you ever been "call emergency services 68 times in 90 minutes" drunk?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Stop (BANG) ... or I'll shoot"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Bear decides Florida Man's porch is just right for a snooze
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
BBC reporter stops random man in street and asks him if he remembers the 1967 FA Cup match held locally. Man replies he does remember it because he was the goalkeeper for Liverpool
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 02, 2022
(4Utah.com)
 
 
 
Sure, you want to 'see your mom.' But why did you want to 'scare the police?' And getting 9 felonies on your way to see her is sure to prevent you from seeing her very soon. Son, I am disappoint
source: abc4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tom's Hardware)
 
 
 
Woman arrested over efforts to establish a Chinese subsidiary of Mom's Friendly Robot Company
source: tomshardware.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
When a Christmas card seems too corny, send eyes (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Migrant paraglides over border to Spain. Politicians demand the construction of a really, really tall wall
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man facing 90 days in jail over flying the Too Friendly Skies
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
UK yoga teacher convicted of putting a tenant in Corpse Pose permanently
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC4i)
 
 
 
Ways to know you've had too much to drink: falling down, peeing your pants, getting shot and not knowing it, puking. You Farkers know what it's like
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A 33-year-old man has been arrested for the murder of rapper Takeoff. Hopefully he will stay grounded in jail
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Turkey full of Wild Turkey shows up to Turkey Day, starts wildin', gets turked
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitch.tv)
 
 
 
Suddenly, it's a Triple D Fark Friday Christmas Movie Night with Drew, Dill, and Dallan's back. Many weird ass holiday clips, including Caga Tio, Truman Capote autobiography, and a 1980 LDS special w/ Jimmy Stewart - and more starting @ 7 PM ET
source: twitch.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Manchester NH residents shocked find their guns stolen from their unlocked vehicles
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
This man's DNA looks like rainbow gummy worms
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplanation: Why so many of the male players in the World Cup are wearing sports bras
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
A potentially dangerous road rage incident fizzled out into nothing after one party refused to be intimidated by the other, who was "clucking like a chicken." Foghorn Leghorn seen leaving the incident
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Things you shouldn't do if you're holding large quantities of drugs: 1) Fire off guns from the roof of your house
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
"And the cuffs. They're so heavy." said an 82 year old Black woman arrested, handcuffed, and taken to jail over a $77 unpaid trash bill
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Young men who do stupid things should be punched in the face, says punchable-faced young man who does stupid things on the regular
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pitchfork)
 
 
 
David Byrne releases new Christmas song, "Fat Man's Comin'", on Bandcamp; the song is available for download on a "pay what you can" business model (of at least $1)
source: pitchfork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Have you heard the one about a comedian's joke saving a woman's life?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Without a human, smart AI is a Pakled
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The USAF B-21 Raider... just like the NFL Raiders, this aircraft started life in California, but will travel many miles and bomb throughout the 2020s and possibly longer
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
FBI arrests strawman for multiple bank robberies
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
An attorney walks into a bar, shoots at ex-girlfriend who works there, and is at home watching Netflix for a measly $4 grand. #Texas
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
An attorney walks into a bar, shoots at ex-girlfriend who works there, and is at home watching Netflix for a measly $4 grand. #Texas
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPRI Rhode Island)
 
 
 
Cars crashing into buildings could easily be avoided by redesigning shopping centers, installing protective barriers, or having drivers watch where the fark they are going
source: wpri.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 01, 2022
(MSN)
 
 
 
Nabors kills man at bachelor party with fentanyl-laced cocaine. Surprise, surprise surprise
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 3 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
High gas prices continue to impact travel plans. Such as this local man who couldn't make it to Lake Mead
source: news3lv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Soon-to-be Batman villain teaches how to read Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Q: How many parents does it take to get all 3000 graphic novels removed from a school library? A: One
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Adios, Vaya con Dios, Hasta Manaña, Tata Martino
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Meh)
 
 
 
Photoshop this out-of-sorts man
source: swiateklaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Well, if there's anyone who'd serve Macaroni & Cheese at a White House state dinner, it's Joe Bi... hang on, I may have misread that headline
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bride & Bloom)
 
 
 
Bacteria-fermented carbohydrates causing flatulence and far too many hamsters
source: thethings.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
In case you were not convinced that the Right is anti-youth, now they want to beat your kids. Bonus pick of Delores Umbridge in the background
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTP St. Paul)
 
Hero
 
When your dad is Batman
source: kstp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Hugh Hefner's ex claims Playboy Mansion is haunted, grotto is really REALLY gross
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Neighbor of Philadelphia man accused of cutting off his wife's head: "I'm not surprised"
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Neighbor of Philadelphia man accused of cutting off his wife's head: "I'm not surprised"
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
"There is no try, only do" is no excuse, Bankman-Fried
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The 70s explained without resorting to cocaine and orgies: In 1971, "Crockery Cookery," the first dedicated Crock Pot cookbook, outsold "The Joy of Sex" AND "The Starfleet Technical Manual"
source: longreads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Attorney recalls being drugged, robbed by two women in the Hollywood Hills, and not fondly
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Elon's claiming his brain implant company could begin human tests in six months. So could subby's for that (grey) matter
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Happy birthday Sarah Silverman who is now 2 years into her golden age
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Billionaire hedge fund manager will dine fairly well after paying himself a salary of 1.5M GBP last year. Then again, he may not taste like Kobe beef on that salary, 1.5 million pounds a year is kinda low. A year? Sorry, I meant 1.5M per day
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical News Today)
 
 
 
Hopefully you don't need a dick splint, so anyway here's everything you need to know about penis pumps
source: medicalnewstoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Childhood friend of Iranian National Team player: Who-hoo we lost, suck it Supreme Leader. Iranian cops: BLAM Blam blam-blam-blam
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
How America created Florida Man
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
Man arrested for being in missionary position in public
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Father shows underage son how to clean AR-15 with safety off, on TV tray, manages to shoot young daughter in her hip, lower abdomen. Alcoholism definitely involved
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 30, 2022
(CBS News)
 
 
 
The new season of Parking Wars is emphasizing the war part
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Companies which demanded we allow covid to infect everyone in the name of the holy economy beginning to realize that maybe this was not a smart move. Obvious tag hasn't been able to walk a block without being exhausted in a year
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IMDB)
 
 
 
The penultimate episode of Stargirl (the whole series, not just S.№3) "Frenemies ― Chapter 12: The Last Will and Testament of Sylvester Pemberton" has Starman taking matters into his own hands, leaving the JSA to fear the worst at 8 ㏘ EST on The CW
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
"But Raz, you are educable, you can learn 'this kind of thing,' if by that you mean how to maneuver an S2-35B and how to assemble a 7pm ET MSNBC thread. You've spent your whole life, ever since you were Collected, becoming educable"
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Mr. Oz got crushed by John Fetterman so badly, he can't even show his face on television
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Too many people want to see the Phantom of the Opera's last shows on Broadway for them to be the last shows
source: nowthisnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark Fiction Anthology)
 
 
 
"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." --Rudyard Kipling. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, Drug Dealing Edition
source: farkfiction.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Germany follows up on their criticism of Qatar's human rights record by signing a 15 year contract to buy Qatari natural gas. That'll teach 'em
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Filipino boxing referee admits he cheated for Manny Pacquiao during win in 2000
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Megyn Kelly thinks that Will Smith should have been cancelled for getting into one little fight
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
"The customer and employee got into an argument. Both men then pulled out guns and exchanged shots"
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
"The customer and employee got into an argument. Both men then pulled out guns and exchanged shots"
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
AMC Networks announces layoffs due to cord-cutting and streaming costs. No word yet on how many people worked on The Walking Dead
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
This photo includes every human being, living or dead, including Michael Collins - unlike the last time we did this
source: blogs.nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Dear Miss Manners, my mom wants me to treat waiters as slaves and I want to treat them as people. Who's right?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Captain Jack's early life was one of abuse & neglect, but thanks to a Portland woman who made a cross-country trip to adopt him & a community who supports him, he's now living his best life. Please welcome him & his mom to Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Motorcyclist stopped at red light has crashing pickup feed him a stepladder. With GAAAAAA video
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman have been sentenced to 2 years' probation and 500 hours of registering voters in low income areas
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
DeSantis's hiatman testifies in court that he was DeSantis's hiatman and that by god he's right. BS legal arguments included
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman tries to open airplane door mid-flight once she realizes she's going to Ohio
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
News: Ivermectin turns out to be effective against humanity's greatest scourge - bedbugs. Fark: in chickens
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
German climate activists glue themselves to Dinosaur Exhibit. If they went to the La Brea Tar Pits they wouldn't have even needed the glue
source: voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Turns out the man who obviously looks like he's been taking a shiat-ton of steroids while promoting a "holistic raw meat" lifestyle, has been taking a shiat-ton of steroids
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 29, 2022
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
The police are in hot purse-ute
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
CEBL champion Honey Badgers don't give a shiat about their fans in Hamilton, relocate permanently to Brampton
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
How many snow angels do you have to make to clear a sidewalk, wouldn't it be easier to just use a shovel?
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Extrapolate this research to humans and brain parasites could explain a lot of recent behavior
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Climate change has grounded the Mississippi barge fleet, but opens a window for railroads... which emit more CO2... which will exacerbate climate change... Uh, how many existential crises are we juggling right now?
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
AWS says it will be water positive by 2030 as it implements new pee bottle recycling program and mandatory stillsuits
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Formula 1)
 
 
 
Ferrari team boss fired. Would have been fired last week but Ferrari sent the letter to the wrong house, and then waited until the postman had delivered everyone else's mail before deciding to post it
source: formula1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
Scientists not even pretending to help humanity anymore
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
"First team we pick is Germany; we've had two world wars with them, and they are really good. Second is Yugoslavia: we're bombing them as we speak. Third is Iran. Oh, wonderful." An oral history of the USMNT's 1998 World Cup fiasco
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Russian colonel commits "self execution" by shooting himself 5 times, demonstrating the fine marksmanship skills that his military is known for
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"It is apparent that the Department of Human Services has sued Favre, a Mississippi and national celebrity, in an effort to deflect responsibility for its own egregious wrongdoing"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
When you decide you need some change in your life, there are better ways to do it than this
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Someone thought it was the right time to rehabilitate Will Smith
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
The creepiest thing in the Haunted Mansion Ride in Tokyo Disney is now gonna be the adult anime fans in the line
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Two Farkers left their basements to run a half marathon as examples for the rest of us to put down the pastries, go outside, get some fresh air
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Missing Fort Worth woman finally reconnected with her family 51 years later. She was abducted as a baby and never knew she was 20 minutes from her birth family the entire time
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 28, 2022
(WDIO Duluth)
 
 
 
Huge section of lake ice breaks free, setting so many fishermen adrift that authorities trigger emergency cell phone alerts to let them all know to panic
source: wdio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Tech CEO who was fired by his board for his LSD use has filed suit saying that was just an excuse, and the REAL reason he was fired is because he was Asian. And he knows this because both the Purple Iguana, AND the seven-eyed man told him so
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Warner Bros has been mismanaged so much this year, that Legendary decides it would rather partner with the studio that brought us Morbius
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Central Maine)
 
 
 
There is stupid and there is a cop leaving their car running with the doors unlocked and an AR-15 in the trunk
source: centralmaine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman brings item to auction volunteers for appraisal because she didn't know what it was. To be honest, Subby probably wouldn't have known either
source: mlstargazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(God's Spies)
 
 
 
'I mean, Christ, this is a woman who was brought up in Baltimore politics. We weren't working with some neophyte'
source: neuburger.substack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
1,300 year old medieval manuscript: Talk to the hand because the face ain't listening
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Ex-MI6 warns British citizens that Russia has sleeper cells in the country that can kill on command. Meanwhile subby just matched with Svetlana on Tinder and can't wait for the first date this weekend (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
"I never thought Florida Man would eat MY face"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
A French court has ruled Mr. T is legally not required to be fun at work. After the ruling, the complainant stated, "I pity the fool who disagrees with this ruling"
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Fat and stupid may indeed be the way many kids go through life
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Hey NFL refs, Seattle's 12th Man is just a slogan, not a valid strategy
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Broncos player getting sick of under-cooked Hungry Man meals every Sunday
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
ABEND
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dull Men's Club)
 
 
 
Happy birthday to the man who named the clouds
source: dullmensclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Terrell Owens drops one. This is not a repeat from 1996 to 2010
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
It's not a Santa Claus parade until one of them gets drunk and tries to start fights with families
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
The ghost of David Stern demands that Lakers-Pacers trade be returned to table
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Man has cataract surgery and comes out with a head wound. Then gets the bill. He didn't see that one coming
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Virginia man wanted for assault with a deadly weapon for shooting Metrobus. The bus is expected to survive
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Chinese police bravely protect BBC reporter against Covid by beating and arresting him
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Singles associated with increased risk for stroke, heart attack. What's wrong with being single? Many people are single and they're fine. What? Shingles? Shingles associated with increased risk for stroke, heart attack? Oh. Nevermind
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Lost stuffed monkey has grand adventure before finding its way back to its human
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
How many of you Farkers hunt? What do you hunt for and how successful are you usually?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Ben Shapiro demands to know why the leopards are eating his face
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Corkscrews, man, corkscrews
source: storystudio.wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
A deal that Sen. Joe Manchin (D-INO) worked out with GOP senators to reform fossil fuel permitting is probably dead, as the GOP decides that they would rather just have an actual Republican in that seat instead
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Congressman who was elected to craft, consider and vote on legislation says: "gun problem can't be solved by legislation." NRA sends him more $$$
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Four days after FPOTUS had dinner with Nazi Fuentes, how many Republicans have come out to condemn him? Okay, Chris Christie. Who else? Anybody?
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sean McVay takes the hardest hit the Rams doled out this season
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 27, 2022
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Do get featured on Fark
source: ktul.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 15 Madison)
 
 
 
Green Bay Packers player suspended for using performance enhancing substances. Stupid tag has pity on the rookie bench warmer who was on the field for a single play in the whole season, sends out Awkward tag instead
source: nbc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Man thinks he can leave his car unlocked while it's warming up outside his own apartment - forgets the times we live in, the nature of man, the Devil who mocks him, and the uncaring Universe
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UniWatch)
 
 
 
Washington Commanders unveil their Sean Taylor "memorial" hoping no one wanted to remember what he looked like
source: uni-watch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Stupid man upset that Biden can't resurrect the dead
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Antigone Journal)
 
 
 
Media: We've discovered a new Roman emperor! Metallurgists and numismatolgists: Yeah, no
source: antigonejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Tourist poses near edge of cliff for photos and decides to do somersault. What could go wrong?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man shot and doused with acid in baseless attack
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVIA El Paso)
 
 
 
El Paso Sheriff's Office would like to remind everyone that the Texas "open carry" law does not apply to Black or Brown people
source: kvia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Man makes a course about an offbeat chess opening called the Trompowsky Attack. Maybe he should put his money where is mouth is and play it against world champ and suspected Sith Lord Magnus Carlsen. Oh wait, he just did
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(Deadline)
 
 
 
The box office was stuffed as Wakanda Forever is #1 with $65 million, Strange World a soft #2 with $20 million, Glass Onion getting knives out at #3 with $13 million. Bones and All makes very few bones at #7, barely edging ackluster The Fablemans
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
NFL Week 12 has the Bucs against the Browns, the Texans battle the Dolphinss, the Bears travel to play the Jets, the Chargers fly in to play the Cardinals, and it's the Rams vs. the Chiefs, among many others. Starting at 1:00 PM ET on CBS/Fox
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Sunday college hoops has many good matchups including two matchups between ranked teams. Will North Carolina trample over Alabama? Will Duke suck against Purdue? Will Iowa State blow over UCONN? The action starts at 11:00 AM ET with Stanford and Memphis
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
World Cup match day 2 for groups E & F brings us Stoic Japan vs. Lowly Costa Rica at 5:00 AM ET, Waffly Belgium vs. Middling Morocco at 8:00 AM, Rude Canada vs. Silly Croatia at 11 AM, and Stellar Spain vs. Industrious Germany at 2:00 PM. Shut up Alexi
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australian man buys 10 unit Tesla powerbank. Tag is for how well it works
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Customer breaks jar of salsa. Does the clerk: A) Grab a broom and dustpan to clean up the mess? B) Put a "Wet Floor/Piso Mojado" sign over the broken jar? C) Grab her gun and shoot the customer? Difficulty: Texas
source: 1031kcda.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 26, 2022
(Guardian)
 
 
 
State Senator-elect Nabilah Islam (D-GA): "People thought it was unthinkable that in the south, someone would vote for a woman with the last name Islam. I'm like: they did. Fifty-three per cent of this district did"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Was getting your driver's license easy, a disaster, or something in between? LGT one man's trials and tribulations
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big E Radio)
 
 
 
At 10:30PM ET it's Noise Factor on Big E Radio. This week's smattering of tunes includes Early Moods, Death Yak, and Villagers of Ioannina City. Also, the doom dial gets cranked to 10 with Dopethrone, Drune, Hangman's Chair, and more
source: bigeradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Old man sucks at video game
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The Scammer Payback channel usually posts videos showing them taking down scam centres halfway across the world. But this time, they get in their car and drive across town to stop a 69-year-old woman from losing everything
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Massive protest to demand a do-over in the Arizona midterm elections enters its second day. Tobias Funke seen weeping over the crowd size
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Tonight's Paul's Memory Bank (8PM ET) starts with songs whose title begins with 'O', then this week's Birthday Hour. In the Superman Hour, Jimmy Olsen and Mary Hennig are about to meet their doom at the hands of counterfeiters
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Mom and dad had a laugh naming their future straight-razor-wielding plane passenger
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Why are you so selfish? Well we modern humans evolved a 'selfish' X chromosome after our early Africa exodus
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Man buys $3,200 worth of products, but store wants him to pay 11 cents more for a disposable bag. What to do? What to do?
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
GQP controlled House will demand the Homeland Security Secretary to resign or face impeachment over the non-existent border crisis
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
Hero
 
Doctors admit to faking the COVID outbreak to manipulate government and military
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
After all the craziness on Black Friday will there be more in college basketball on Saturday? Only ranked matchups are Kent State-Houston, UTRGV-Texas, and Iowa-TCU, but there's a lot more when it starts at 9:30 AM ET with Manhattan-Army in London
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
NYC restaurant owner credits Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs with saving his business, and not by covering the spread
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 25, 2022
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Second string offspring and community college Roman Roy explains how daddy also like to have someone deflate his balls and make surreptitious video of opponents practicing
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(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"So then my sister says 'Let's go to the bar for a few drinks, but don't go overboard' "
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox5 DC)
 
 
 
Criminal justice reform pioneer shot dead in southeast DC, which is not the proof of concept its backers wanted
source: fox5dc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Twitter has lost 50 of its 100 most important advertisers since Edgelord Manbaby took over. In other news, there are still 50 important advertisers on Twitter
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
Man breaks up kindling for fire and then....whoa that's weird
source: whio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a murder suspect out of my hat. This time for sure
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Archaeologists find fragments of figs, grapes, cherries, blackberries, walnuts, and other foods at Roman Colusseum, but no larks' tongues, otters' noses, or ocelot spleens
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Joy Reid says, "Challenge accepted," to Herschel Walker's offer to debate her, but he can't bring a fullback or a pulling guard
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
If your dad picked your 12-year-old self up from a birthday celebration while drunk, wearing a Las Vegas Raiders football helmet, and telling you he's driving you from LA to Las Vegas, you'd call 911 on him, too
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Scientists say "hot Saturn" is a game changer from determining how many Earths fit in Uranus
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
You must marry your rapist or be punished in Qatar. GQP taking notes
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Customers flock to brewery co-owned by hero who charged, brought down Club Q shooter in Colorado Springs. "Remember the heroes not the zero"
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
Hero
 
Man secures legal right to be boring
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
You know what they say. They always get their Struthioniformes
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
Hero
 
"They came in the room and said, 'Does anybody know German?' and nobody raised their hand, so I put my hand up and said, 'I had two years in high school.'"
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 24, 2022
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ronaldo becomes first man to score in 5 World Cups. He also made a goal in each of them
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Biden: "The idea we still allow semiautomatic weapons to be purchased is sick. It's just sick. It has no social redeeming values. Zero. None. Not a single, solitary rationale for it except profit for the gun manufacturer"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big Think)
 
 
 
Be thankful for a Universe that began hot, expanded and cooled, and fell out-of-equilibrium at many points. Without it, we wouldn't exist
source: bigthink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
Hero
 
After Germany offers Eurofighter planes and Patriot air defense systems to Poland, Poland says Ukraine should get them instead
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Manchester United: Buy it like Beckham?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Area man photographs Log Ness, er, Loch Ness monster
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
Nobody ever expected Japan to beat Germany in their World Cup match. Nobody except (DUN DUN) Taiyo the oracle otter
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
One in eight humans is an elite intent on world domination of powerless innocents, you know, like Putin
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The speaker at a white supremacist conference who was using the pseudonym Daniel Vinyard, a neo-Nazi character from "American History X," who was going to give a talk on "The Vilification of Police," is the just-retired Captain of the Boise PD
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Researchers discover previously unknown Roman emperor. Or researchers have discovered the Latin name for Chuck E Cheese. Either way, it's a win
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Air Force Times)
 
 
 
US Air Force's myEval software, meant to automate performance evaluations paperwork, sucks so bad, it's suspended until further notice. "We get it, folks. We have seen the memes and the jokes"
source: airforcetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Sports (Australia))
 
 
 
Despite pictures of many empty seats, Qatar reports World Cup soccer games take place in sold-out stadiums. That can mean only one thing: Invisible soccer fans
source: foxsports.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 23, 2022
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
"Many canonical Thanksgiving foods follow a strict formula, but stuffing can be whatever speaks to your heart and feels right" And how do you Farkers do stuffing/dressing/whatever you call it?
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IMDB)
 
 
 
Fun wholesome Thanksgiving movies for the whole family to watch together
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(YouTube)
 
 
 
Besides "let someone else do the cooking" and "order Chinese take-out", what tips or tricks that you have learned over your many years can you share with any first-time Thanksgiving cooks?
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(IT Pro)
 
 
 
Former Twitter engineer provides Musk a road map for permanently destroying the site
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(Car and Driver)
 
 
 
Mercedes cripples performance in their EVs unless you pay for a yearly subscription. EA responds by capping framerates unless you buy the Enthusiast's Edition of MW2
source: caranddriver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man to become the first disabled person authorized to punch Bart Sibrel
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancashire Telegraph)
 
 
 
"He tooted through the glove box but nothing was taken." Smeller is the feller rule invoked
source: lancashiretelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
The beatings will continue until iPhone production improves
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
How Elon Musk is managed at SpaceX
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(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Turns out that the main threat to election integrity in Florida was bureaucratic disorganization. Who knew? [Gary.Oldman.gif]
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(CNBC)
 
 
 
The CEO of CME Group tried to warn Congress about FTX but was told "You have no idea what you're talking about." by a Congressman who, it turns out, had no idea what HE was talking about
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Was it over when the Germans got bombed at Pearl Harbor?
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
One of the "perks" of working at Yeezy was apparently exclusive screenings of Kim/Kanye amatuer porn videos
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Hey FIFA and Qatar, how do you say "Streisand Effect" in German?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Las Vegas Dukes of Hazzard Volvo chased into the darkness by ex-Navy Seal at 100mph
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(14 News Evansville)
 
 
 
Shots fired outside appropriately named pawn shop
source: 14news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Build a man a fire, and he is warm for a day. Build a fire with your fellow Russian conscripts, and you are warm for the rest of your lives
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