headlines found matching 'Law' NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Thu July 29, 2021 |
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Woodinville man plays golf with new clubs bought with money earned from striking back at telemarketers. No word if he also flipped them a birdie
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Woodinville man plays golf with new clubs bought with money earned from striking back at telemarketers. No word if he also flipped them a birdie
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That Making a Murderer guy just found out that courts have a higher standard of evidence than Netflix and its audience of GED in law experts
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Ever wanted to drag race legally in Detroit? Now's your chance
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What can you do when COVID-19 infections spike and the governor has outlawed mask mandates? Well, you can raise the threat level to 'orange' and kinda just stand there, I guess
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Funny how all these GOP lawmakers are VERY CONCERNED that NBA players' endorsement deals with Chinese apparel companies mean they are profiting from slave labor, but they said nothing about Walmart doing the same thing for decades
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Now subby's not saying these anti-BDS laws are blatantly unconstitutional, but they seem to get amended pretty quickly once a lawsuit is filed
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Ex-Cardinal Theodore McCarrick, 91, is probably wishing God had seen fit to call him home just a little bit earlier right now
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MD woman facing 1st degree murder charges after telling cops that she killed her 92-year old roommate, a sculptor of local reknown. 92? Seems like if you wanted her dead ,you could have just WAITED, or taken her on a trip to FL it you were impatient
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Remember when Turkish President Erdogan's bodyguards attacked a crowd of demonstrators in Washington DC? That thing Trump did and said absolutely NOTHING about? A federal judge has just said Turkey is NOT immune to lawsuits over the incident
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Texas Governor signs order requiring State Troopers to stop brown people in vehicles
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"Matt Gaetz, Louis Gohmert and Marjorie Taylor Greene try to walk into..." sounds like a great set-up for a joke
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Candidate for Governor wants to stop abortion at inception
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One last time: Do not make a deposit into your credit union account then return later to rob the credit union. You might just end up in the pokey
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| Thu July 22, 2021 |
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File a fake election suit, win a real bar complaint: Texas edition
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File a fake election suit, win a real bar complaint: Texas edition
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FYI the phrases "Get Nailed", "Get Bent", "Get Hammered", and "Got Wood?" are all registered trademarks and why is there a lawyer at Subby's door?
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Missouri Supreme Court unanimously tells state lawmakers they actually have to listen to voters
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Homeowners yell, "Have him die somewhere else," at lawncare-worker trying to save neighbor's life on their lawn. Florida tag crestfallen after selection of Murica tag in a tossup decision
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Don't do that. Don't give me hope
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Five "sovereign citizens" move into woman's mansion and claim it as their own, and they seem to be the worst of the worst, including a multiple sex offender, a fake lawyer, and a licensed dentist
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"He had Rudy Giuliani running all over the country, claiming fraud. He never had one bit of fraud in all those lawsuits he filed and statements he made." --- yes, Bob Dole is still alive and not on a pizza
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In response to Ben & Jerry's announcing they're stopping sales in occupied Palestine, Sen. Jim Lanford (R-Ooookay?) says that Oklahoma should immediately block the sale of Ben & Jerry's in the state. The politics of ice cream, mmmm, that tastes good
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Ron DeSantis (R) - who signed a bill outlawing vaccine passports, blames experts for public distrust of vaccines, sells 'Don't Fauci My Florida' merch, and was hesitant to disclose his own vaccination - wants you to know 'vaccines are saving lives'
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In a 3-1 ruling, NLRB embraces giant inflatable rats. Scabby/Gritty 2024
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It's like some sorority is after us
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CNN provides headline template: "What Marjorie Taylor Greene doesn't know about ______ is, well, a lot"
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CNN provides headline template: "What Marjorie Taylor Greene doesn't know about ______ is, well, a lot"
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Michigan goes full Florida by striking down the law Whitmer used to impose public health restrictions during the pandemic
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Michigan goes full Florida by striking down the law Whitmer used to impose public health restrictions during the pandemic
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| Wed July 21, 2021 |
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You know how we know you pre-planned your press release? "Denying the voices of members who have served in the military & law enforcement" A true statement... if Pelosi hadn't actually let former officer Troy Nehls stay on the committee
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Yes, businesses CAN legally ask if you've been vaccinated without violating HIPAA rules
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Good news, Washington State residents: decisions on Constitutional law will henceforth be made by people who have met the requirements of being at least 21 and possessing a diploma or GED and then getting elected
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Good news, Washington State residents: decisions on Constitutional law will henceforth be made by people who have met the requirements of being at least 21 and possessing a diploma or GED and then getting elected
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This is fine, numbskull. This is fine
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This is fine, numbskull. This is fine
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Voting to remove the Nathan Bedford Forrest bust at the Tennessee State Building Commission is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you'll get
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Pagan's leader set to plead guilty. After 34 years Friday and Streebeck's investigation finally pays off
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Man finds alligator in backyard, learns it's legal to have a pet alligator in Missouri after it promises to restore the one-true timeline
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Appeals Court upholds Michigan law that prohibits people from renting buses or vans and giving people free rides to the polls, because that prevents voter fraud by...umm...well.. because...because fark people without a car, that's why
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Appeals Court upholds Michigan law that prohibits people from renting buses or vans and giving people free rides to the polls, because that prevents voter fraud by...umm...well.. because...because fark people without a car, that's why
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76-year-old white city council member in a small town in Alabama is under fire for exactly what you think
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What can you do when a man shows up at elementary school, flying Nazi flags, yelling profanities from sidewalk at kids, parents, teachers? Apparently nothing
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| Tue July 13, 2021 |
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*Tweet not valid in Wisconsin
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Ethics hearing violates ethics law
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On this day in history, in 1787, the US Congress enacted the Northwest Ordinance, creating a policy for the addition of new states to the Union where slavery was outlawed but hipsters were allowed to roam free
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And a big ol' "fark you" to Ajit Pai
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Suspect arrested by US marshals in connection with murder in Seattle's CHOP zone, no doubt after a hard target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area
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Orange County recommending mask wearing again as COVID-19 positivity rate surges, in compelling argument against Oddball's disdain for negative waves, maaan
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Top Spanish TikTok douchebag tricks women into rawdogging by telling them he's sterile, now faces up to 12 years in jail after talking about it on Youtube. Never an elastrator when you need one
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So requiring smallpox, polio, MMR vaccines for school is OK, but the Covid vaccine doesn't count? Why? And please remember to share your work
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Now that China's outlawed bitcoin mining, miners are heading to Kazakhstan for cheap energy, wives
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The Governor of California has such awesome lawyers that they forgot to list his party affiliation when contesting the recall: judge rules Newsom cannot have "Democrat" on the ballot with his name
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When AI works together with the "get off my lawn" guy
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Boeing cuts production on 787 Dreamliner to address flaw, which in engineering circles is known as 'being a 787 Dreamliner'
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Today's masterful performance by the Kraken crew-just the opening show of a North American tour
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| Mon July 12, 2021 |
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Lawyers from the Justice Centre for Constitutional Freedoms, who are representing a group of churches fighting lockdowns, hired a private investigator to follow the judge to his home and cottage to try and catch him breaking COVID restrictions
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WHO: Delta SARS-CoV-2 is largely asymptomatic in fully vaccinated hosts. Most won't even know they're infecting their own children and anti-vax in-laws with a virus five times deadlier than the original strain
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Once Big tech's most powerful lobbyist "The Internet Association has been shedding staff, losing influence on Capitol Hill and shrinking to near-obscurity in media coverage of tech policy debates in Washington". Good thing no new laws are pending now
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Institutions that don't pay taxes have spent a lot of time discussing people who, when elected, make the laws for all of us who do pay taxes. Oh, and for the rich too
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Despicable white power minion in for some gru-eling questions from lawyers for making a gru-some hand signal
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Only the best lawyers start to turn on each other
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Texas Democrats walk out of special legislative session to prevent quorum to stop voting restrictions, education laws. This is not a repeat from the regular session
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It's the damndest thing but now that it has reached the "Sanctions" stage, none of the six lawyers involved in the "Kraken" lawsuit in Michigan, including Sidney Powell, and Lin Wood, apparently wrote the initial complaint, or barely even read it
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Far-right protestors of Rep. Katie Porter (D-Orange County CA) start fist fight at her family-friendly town hall
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Plotting to overthrow the lawfully elected government of the United States. Seems like there should be a law against that
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Will the Dotard's lawyers play stupid games, or throw themselves at the mercy of the court? This is your Kraken Krew sanctions hearing, live now
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Republicans think that unvaccinated morons are being discriminated against
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Eddie Murphy's son and Martin Lawrence's daughter are "madly in love" with one another
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Unemployment checks are going back to normal in September
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Florida man finds loophole in Florida law allowing him to cosplay as a mass murderer who enjoys fishing
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The lawyers hijacked the Fox News chyron temporarily
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| Wed July 07, 2021 |
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For sale: $2.4M Delaware mansion. 8,700 square feet, 5 bedrooms, excellent security courtesy of your elderly neighbors across the street for the foreseeable future
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Florida lawyer reprimanded for idiotic condo-collapse lawsuit
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Let's see what the bar thinks of Trump's lawsuit and ...oh my
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Trump, who claims ignorance of tax laws involved in current indictments, said this in 2015: "Nobody knows the tax code better than I do... I'm like a student of the tax code. I know more about taxes than any human being that God ever created"
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Law and order president breaks law
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Judge refuses to block antidemocratic voting laws in Georgia for fear of "disrupting the administration of an ongoing election," which obviously is something only republicans are allowed to do
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Lawyer made to remove bra. "It is not good enough in any shape or form"
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Wielding an axe, a hatchet and a spiked glove while breaking into an occupied apartment and babbling incoherently? That's a . . . no, apparently, that's not anything at all
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On this day in history, in 1930, construction on the Hoover Dam began, which became an epic five-year effort to construct one of the largest man-made structures in existence and made more difficult by its constant sucking
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You know your lawsuit is legit when it is signed by a lawyer whose e-mail address ends in @aol.com
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Uriah Heep vocalist John Lawton freed from this mortal coil
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Everyone: No one would be stupid enough to defend slave owners. Kayleigh McEnany: HOLD MY WHITE CLAW, Y'ALL
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Donald Trump announces lawsuit against Zuckerberg and Dorsey, who are expected to respond as soon as they recover from their laughing fit
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Donald Trump announces lawsuit against Zuckerberg and Dorsey, who are expected to respond as soon as they recover from their laughing fit
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Fox News mocked for complaining that Captain America has become a woke antifa supersoldier when he's really just more of an unfrozen caveman lawyer type
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Imagine you're a lady. You're mowing the lawn... BAM a farkin plane slams into you. Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask ya. Would you give a fark what kind of plane the son of a biatch who hit you was flying?
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Tucson: "Hey AZ, screw your 'Second Amendment Sanctuary' law"
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| Tue July 06, 2021 |
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Republican vote suppression laws are bad but election theft laws are worse
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Face painted goblin with horn hat denied pre-trial release. Bonus: lawyer promised judge he'd keep him in a undisclosed "secure location"
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The Moors get sidetracked on their way to Madrid, wind up in a Boston courthouse, complaining the courts have no standing
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Given that it's Sur La Table's propaganda arm, it's probably White Claw in an overpriced glass with food coloring
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Capitol Police opening field offices in several states to investigate threats to lawmakers. Threats *from* lawmakers still a-ok
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LOLno. Remember, this is also the same country that released Cosby on a technicality
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Law firm gets court order asking crooks not to publish the data they stole
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Israeli government fails to extend controversial 'Citizenship Law' denying Palestinians who marry Israelis citizenship rights, proving that even a government completely based on getting rid of one jerk can fail their way into doing the right thing
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No, you don't have the right to have sex with those students, teacher
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No, you don't have the right to have sex with those students, teacher
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| Wed June 30, 2021 |
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Yo, dawg, I heard you like deplatforming, so a federal judge deplatformed law banning deplatforming
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Yo, dawg, I heard you like deplatforming, so a federal judge deplatformed law banning deplatforming
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Amazon demands FTC chair Khan be removed from her job because she might enforce the law
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Virginia Police ready for legal weed. "Lt. Chris Monahan said officers are trained from the start to identify impaired driving." What do you guys want? May I have a bite of your hot dog?
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Iowa's new law allowing people to buy and carry guns without a permit or any training is about to come into effect. Let's check in to see how that's working out
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Why hasn't Weisselberg flipped yet? His daughter-in-law has a speculation
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"My brother-in-law is constantly saying hurtful, negative things about his daughter--often in her presence. I think this is having a detrimental effect on her development. How can I get him to change his ways?"
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Good job, South Africa. I wonder if we can pull that off here in the states
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Trump appointee at DoD, a SC lawmaker who beat Mark Sanford in 2018 but lost the general, has had her security clearance suspended pending a probing of her illegal disclosure of the cybers
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Andy Dick arrested and jailed for assault with a deadly weapon. Phil Hartman still dead
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| Mon June 28, 2021 |
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Canadian anti-lockdown anti-masker anti-vaxxer celebrity finally gets his day in Zoom Chaos Court, only to be shot down in flames for his lawyer's failure to file paperwork properly
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Lawsuit over Abu Ghraib staggers one step forward
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Capitol insurrectionist lawyer ends his election lawsuit due to lack of a) evidence, b) funds, c) both
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California developers fined over $300,000 after digging up dozens of Joshua trees to make way for million dollar homes, otherwise known as the cost of doing business
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John Oliver asks his blessed congregants to join his most recent religious adventure, "JohnnyCare", his Health Care Sharing Ministry. And if that sounds like a scam, your Florida-dar is calibrated and working nicely
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Let's see: be credibly accused of sexual assault, sue 100 people for defamation. Brilliant
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Britney Spears's brother-in-law claims her family is "doing the best for her"
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Chris Wallace asks why Republicans are suddenly into defunding the police and not supporting them
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| Fri June 25, 2021 |
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State-level Republican legislators really are working hard ... to make sure only the "right" kind of people will be allowed to vote
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...and the lawsuits begin
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What is Capitalism? I mean, beyond a repressive, failed economic policy that's resulted in a labor class who function as slaves to an entrenched elite who every year grow wealthier and more untouchable by any law. NPR asks the question
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Derek Chauvin, on the day of his sentencing: Hey, judge, how about letting me have a new trial? Judge: LOL, no
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Ohio lawmakers: How do we deal with people recording police brutality? How about we make it illegal to record the police? Brilliant
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Ohio lawmakers: How do we deal with people recording police brutality? How about we make it illegal to record the police? Brilliant
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DoJ sues Georgia over its new Jim Crow laws
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No
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Lawsuit filed over "Trump train" harassment of Biden bus in TX. Alleges police turned a blind eye to the attack, which violated the KKK act of 1871
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Today's Slatesplanation: Why the ruling suspending Rudy Giuliani's law license was even funnier than you thought it was
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"America is not America any longer," claims disbarred nosferatu Rudy Giuliani during rant on Newsmax
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"America is not America any longer," claims disbarred nosferatu Rudy Giuliani during rant on Newsmax
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Uber settles pandemic gig worker violation by tossing $3.4 million at their non-employee employees
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