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headlines found matching 'Judge'

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Sun August 09, 2020
		Price of the Slurpee got you down? It's ok, you're Florida Man source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	24
		Simon Cowell decides he no longer needs an intact spine source: amp.theguardian.com \| share:	43

Fri August 07, 2020
		Sorry I read the headline just before lunch source: cnn.com \| share:	23
		Sorry I read the headline just before lunch source: cnn.com \| share:	23
		Set your Venmo to private, otherwise, you will be judged for how much you end up paying for bodily fluids source: twitter.com \| share:	34
		First World problems source: yahoo.com \| share:	72
		First World problems source: yahoo.com \| share:	72

Thu August 06, 2020
		Court tells government to pace its access to fees to PACER source: politico.com \| share:	5
		Federal judge questions doctrine of "qualified Immunity" source: npr.org \| share:	50
		Federal judge questions doctrine of "qualified Immunity" source: npr.org \| share:	50
		Wife of suspect in Burger King slaying arrested. Wendy, Ronald, Grimace, Colonel Sanders, and Jack already being rounded up for the lineup of usual suspects source: clickorlando.com \| share:	52
		BC Appeal Court deems woman's requested job title to be too cool source: thestar.com \| share:	50

Wed August 05, 2020
		Like those of Bill W., friends of Meghan M. can stay anonymous source: apnews.com \| share:	9
		Actual headline: "Bond hearing for Tampa teen accused of hacking Twitter accounts gets hacked" source: abcactionnews.com \| share:	14

Tue August 04, 2020
		Arizona judge rules that gyms can become full-fledged super spreaders source: 12news.com \| share:	31
		Florida Man to have first entirely online trial. Translating legal jargon into memes is going to be interesting source: news4jax.com \| share:	21
		Kanye pulls out of New Jersey after his petition to get on the ballot seemed to come from the Trump house of forgery source: apnews.com \| share:	36
		Taking down Richmond, Virginia's racist Robert E. Lee statue just got a bit harder thanks to a confederate army of lawyers source: apnews.com \| share:	52
		Taking down Richmond, Virginia's racist Robert E. Lee statue just got a bit harder thanks to a confederate army of lawyers source: apnews.com \| share:	52
		Three slashies = oblig. 482 slashies = $25000 source: scoop.co.nz \| share:	44

Mon August 03, 2020
		Brokeback Cowboys for Trump: we'll kill our firstborn to show our loyalty. Ex-wife, judge: not so fast source: kob.com \| share:	35
		New Wisconsin Supreme Court justice sworn in during 100-mile ultramarathon. Meanwhile, subby has to judge if he's too drunk to walk to the kitchen for another beer source: mynews13.com \| share:	18
		Manhattan District Attorney investigating President Trump and his companies for possible bank and insurance fraud source: nytimes.com \| share:	90
		Manhattan District Attorney investigating President Trump and his companies for possible bank and insurance fraud source: nytimes.com \| share:	90
		Play stupid games win stupid prizes, bonus round source: nypost.com \| share:	122

Sun August 02, 2020
		Supreme Court orders Facebook to block accounts of president's top supporters source: bbc.com \| share:	36
		Supreme Court orders Facebook to block accounts of president's top supporters source: bbc.com \| share:	36

Fri July 31, 2020
		Federal judge overturns death sentence for the Boston Marathon Bomber source: boston.com \| share:	192
		Federal judge overturns death sentence for the Boston Marathon Bomber source: boston.com \| share:	192
		'On Aug. 16, Snow and her daughter, Jennifer Clark, stole a cart full of food from ACME Market on East Avenue in Akron. When an employee tried to confront them in the parking lot, Snow opened the doors of her vehicle and let out three pit bulls.' source: fox8.com \| share:	85
		Your first amendment rights don't matter anymore, second amendment out front should have told you source: politico.com \| share:	131
		Crowd of Protesters in New Orleans figure out that landlords can't get a court order to evict their tenants if they can't actually get IN to the courthouse source: thelensnola.org \| share:	153

Thu July 30, 2020
		Cohen sings. Hallelujah source: nbcnews.com \| share:	94
		Cohen sings. Hallelujah source: nbcnews.com \| share:	94
		General Flynn is generally headed back to court, then to general population source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	57
		"Judge rebukes DHS over false statements in New York travel case" Huh, that's an odd way of saying "demands whoever committed perjury and lied to the court be immediately prosecuted" source: politico.com \| share:	26
		Hot flight attendant beats husband when she comes home and finds him "engaged in sexual intercourse" with another woman, cops say source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	192
		GOP Rep. Asks Google Chief: Why Are My Campaign's Emails Going to My Dad's Spam Folder? source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	76
		Treason Peepaw must be getting a cut of the bounties source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	96
		Hilariously unconstitutional 'no protest' condition of release in Portland is being hilariously backpedaled source: oregonlive.com \| share:	20
		Hilariously unconstitutional 'no protest' condition of release in Portland is being hilariously backpedaled source: oregonlive.com \| share:	20

Wed July 29, 2020
		Women sentenced to 2 years in prison for making TikTok videos. Seems lenient source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	64
		A funny thing happens when you judge by the picture but don't read the article you retweet, Donald source: twitter.com \| share:	47
		"Sort of hilariously unconstitutional" could describe a lot of what's going on right now, but in this context, refers to arrested protestors being ordered not to protest as a condition of being released from jail source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	95

Tue July 28, 2020
		Woman who sold a half ton of pot gets probation source: bismarcktribune.com \| share:	33
		Woman who sold a half ton of pot gets probation source: bismarcktribune.com \| share:	33
		Federal judge orders documents related to Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell to be released to the public no later than July 30 source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	94
		The latest Covid-19 challenge? How quick can you buy a gun source: salon.com \| share:	100

Mon July 27, 2020
		Just like in 2016, Trump is seeking to rev up his base by releasing a list of "good" judges he'll promise to appoint to the federal bench and the Supreme Court, but his base feels burned by his current picks and sounds like Roger Daltrey right now source: politico.com \| share:	15
		Owners of gym that defied governor's executive orders to remain closed arrested. Must report to court in 26 minutes source: fox5ny.com \| share:	87
		Sheriff Joe Arpaio: "Miss me yet?" source: azfamily.com \| share:	56
		Sheriff Joe Arpaio: "Miss me yet?" source: azfamily.com \| share:	56
		Woman who was let out of jail to attend son's funeral forgets to go back source: kob.com \| share:	44

Sun July 26, 2020
		The arson was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE source: apnews.com \| share:	21

Sat July 25, 2020
		Federal Judge: Oregon Attorney General doesn't have standing to enforce law in Oregon source: thehill.com \| share:	143

Fri July 24, 2020
		Yes, and feathered source: thebulwark.com \| share:	40
		Judge tells Trump's goon squad that the first amendment is still in effect. Certainly they would never ignore a judge's orders source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	54
		Judge correctly rules that since Commerce Secretary Ross used his personal e-mail account to send work-related e-mail, it too is subject to FOIA. Subby, a former FOIA guy, had that same uncomfortable conversation with VERY powerful people MANY times source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	61
		Yet another female judge was on Roy Den Hollander's hit list. It's almost like he hated women source: cnn.com \| share:	60

Thu July 23, 2020
		Serving jury duty from home. Now you really have no excuse source: ksat.com \| share:	39
		Serving jury duty from home. Now you really have no excuse source: ksat.com \| share:	39
		Geraldo Rivera last week: "It's terrible that the judge in the Ghislaine Maxwell case denied her bail and kept her locked up." Geraldo this week: "Trump was brave to say he wishes Ghislaine Maxwell well." What's up with this guy, hmmm? source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	72
		Judge orders the unsealing of a trove of 80 documents related to Jeffrey Epstein, including depositions from Ghislaine Maxwell. Orville Redenbacher ecstatic source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	113
		Federal Judge orders deposition of Virginia Giuffre that includes accusations against Alan Dershowitz to be unsealed. This includes deposition of someone called John Doe #1 source: twitter.com \| share:	64
		Burger King eats vegans alive in federal court over Impossible Whopper lawsuit. Not very vegan, BK source: mobile.reuters.com \| share:	66
		Canada ends asylum agreement with the United States because we keep violating human rights source: bbc.com \| share:	58
		AMC scores major win against Robert Kirkman in The Walking Dead profit case source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	10
		In news that will shock absolutely no one, two Trump judges broke the Code of Judicial Conduct to stop up to a million Floridians from voting in November source: slate.com \| share:	45

Wed July 22, 2020
		There might have been one minor detail missing from the reporting about the suspect in the attempted assassination of that judge. Maybe source: twitter.com \| share:	125

Tue July 21, 2020
		New twist to the NJ federal judge family murder story: Did the anti-feminist Trumper lawyer also kill a rival attorney? source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	37
		Madonna never paid her million dollar fine for supporting Pussy Riot source: advocate.com \| share:	25
		Stabbed to death at a knife awareness course source: bbc.co.uk \| share:	64

Mon July 20, 2020
		You will undoubtedly be shocked to learn that the lunatic who tried to kill Judge Salas was a lunatic Trump cultist, who tried in 2016 to file a RICO complaint that "the media" was in a conspiracy against Trump's candidacy source: twitter.com \| share:	178
		Black boxes from the airliner shot down by Iran have arrived for analysis in France, apparently after either a thorough cleaning or being sent via Pony Express source: yahoo.com \| share:	27
		Suspect in shooting of Epstein Judge's family has been found dead of a self inflicted gunshot wound. Early reports are he was a professional hit ma...wait, strike that. He was a disgruntled attorney who'd previously appeared in front of the Judge source: nj.com \| share:	245

Sun July 19, 2020
		Husband and son of federal judge overseeing Epstein-Deutsche Bank case shot in their home by gunman possibly disguised as delivery driver source: nj.com \| share:	424
		Husband and son of federal judge overseeing Epstein-Deutsche Bank case shot in their home by gunman possibly disguised as delivery driver source: nj.com \| share:	424
		Photoshop this judge exam source: reuters.com \| share:	13
		Tested positive for COVID and won't self quarantine? How about some house arrest source: abc7.com \| share:	177
		Prosecutor: "Judge, my office is unable to provide the newspaper reporter's request for body camera footage for our case against her. We're just too busy. This case is a low priority and isn't worth the time needed to provide evidence she has requested" source: apnews.com \| share:	139

Fri July 17, 2020
		Kentucky AG tries to kill thousands to stick it to the libs source: courier-journal.com \| share:	49
		M-I-C... crazy Mouseketeer's alleged killer released pending trial. K-E-Y... Why? Because we like him. W-T-Actual-Faaark source: oregonlive.com \| share:	10
		One individual practically purchased Judge Beer Bong's confirmation for nearly $16 million source: jacobinmag.com \| share:	51

Thu July 16, 2020
		Kentucky Attorney General seeks to block all of Kentucky Governor's COVID-19 orders, stick head in sand source: courier-journal.com \| share:	42
		Trump thought he could outrun the legal avalanche. Seems like all his bad dreams are coming true at once source: politicususa.com \| share:	62
		Trump thought he could outrun the legal avalanche. Seems like all his bad dreams are coming true at once source: politicususa.com \| share:	62
		Federal judge rejects gym claim to stay open for another 26 minutes source: azcentral.com \| share:	3
		Public: Police, what is your response to the ongoing systemic abuses we have witnessed? NY Sheriffs: Let's make filming us, approaching us, and being mean to us felonies.... Also, we want a special holiday source: whec.com \| share:	52
		KY Judge, who may never have met a Kentuckian, or an actual human for that matter, strikes down the gov's restriction on daycare centers and gatherings, asserting that Kentuckians' "innate wisdom and common sense" was enough to keep them safe source: huffpost.com \| share:	54

Wed July 15, 2020
		They say it is safe to assume you committed some massive tax fraud, and didn't simply use every tax hole possible, to blow all of daddy's money on cocaine and hookers. Or you could release your taxes and prove them wrong source: nbcnews.com \| share:	35
		They say it is safe to assume you committed some massive tax fraud, and didn't simply use every tax hole possible, to blow all of daddy's money on cocaine and hookers. Or you could release your taxes and prove them wrong source: nbcnews.com \| share:	35
		Among the stranger details of the Ghislaine Maxwell case, it turns out she's secretly married and won't say to whom source: nypost.com \| share:	100
		Judge finds loophole in California's foie gras ban source: reason.com \| share:	16

Tue July 14, 2020
		Disturbed that settling the Harvey Weinstein lawsuit would mean some of his victims would never have their day in court, judge tells the New York Attorney General to alter the deal source: cnn.com \| share:	12
		Good news Amazon warehouse workers: you can now take an extra 20 seconds to wash your hands without fear of reprisal source: businessinsider.com \| share:	8
(Soompi)		Meanwhile in Korea, they are getting serious about online harassment of celebrities. Post "she looks like a bar hostess" comment on a girl group member's picture, get fined $415 by district court source: soompi.com \| share:	22
		Welcome to the internet. If you do not choose a username, one will be selected for you (possible nsfw content on page) source: dailystar.co.uk \| share:	39
		Welcome to the internet. If you do not choose a username, one will be selected for you (possible nsfw content on page) source: dailystar.co.uk \| share:	39
		Aunt Becky sells her mansion for 20 college admission bribes below market value source: pagesix.com \| share:	18
		Don't blame Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok for the internet being such a cesspool these days. Blame America Online. For everything source: slate.com \| share:	115
		Weinstein victims to Judge: Yeah that $19 million settlement fund SOUNDS like a lot of money, but he had so many victims that it's going to only net us about $7,500-20,000 per source: thehill.com \| share:	14
		While the country is facing economic depression and a pandemic has killed 138,000 Americans with no end in sight, Tennessee bans abortion. Fark: a federal judge stopped the law 45 minutes later. Tennessee tag oddly missing source: usatoday.com \| share:	47

Mon July 13, 2020
		Judge has freed Mary Trump from the gag order, allowing her to speak freely about her family and promote her book. Popcorn futures rise accordingly source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	186
		Judge has freed Mary Trump from the gag order, allowing her to speak freely about her family and promote her book. Popcorn futures rise accordingly source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	186
		Federal judge rules that women can get abortions online. Is there anything the internet can't do? source: 10news.com \| share:	44
		We all are, Mr. Snitchnine source: nme.com \| share:	15
		Judge Jackson demands proof that Roger Stone has actually had his sentence commuted and this isn't one big hoax by Trump source: twitter.com \| share:	165

Fri July 10, 2020
		The man who tried to steal the Magna Carta gets put in jail. Will Nic Cage try and break him out? source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk \| share:	8
		Full DC circuit court not willing to let Trump appointee rule them into irrelevancy over Misha Flynn source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	63
		Man, 2020 is weird. Who the hell had "Neil Gorsuch is Native American's best friend on SCOTUS" on their bingo card? source: esquire.com \| share:	42
		The three greatest things in life: never rat on your friends, always keep your mouth shut and use a pandemic to financially stick it to your estranged wife source: pagesix.com \| share:	26
		Man on death row at San Quentin has sentence reduced to life. Since he's in San Quentin during COVID it's really no change source: kron4.com \| share:	8

Thu July 09, 2020
(Some Guy)		"My videos were mostly tickle and spank," he said. "It's not something I'm proud of," says man who is running for political office source: pinalcentral.com \| share:	36
		Judge Sullivan: hmmm, you know, we have a few treasonweasels on this court, so let's have the entire circuit court review the Flynn mandamus petition. Six votes stand between justice and treason source: twitter.com \| share:	159
		The owner of the Dakota Access Pipeline tells judge to fark off (link updated) source: arstechnica.com \| share:	39

Wed July 08, 2020
		Meet Inheritance Cat, bringer of good luck (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	4

Tue July 07, 2020
		Bayer's Roundup-Cancer settlement plan may need a couple of tylenol source: msn.com \| share:	4
		Trump paid someone to take the SAT for him source: nytimes.com \| share:	91
		Apparently CNN got ahold of the Mary Trump book. Today is gonna be fun day source: cnn.com \| share:	108
		Roger Stone tries the "Your Honor, this is not a satisfactory time for a person such as myself to report to prison" gambit again source: nbcnews.com \| share:	50

Mon July 06, 2020
		Federal Judge: Get that oil out of the Dakota Access Pipeline now and shut it down. Did I stutter? source: indiancountrytoday.com \| share:	37
		Judge Jeanine is apparently a Chrissy Teigen fan source: twitter.com \| share:	36

Sun July 05, 2020
		Seattle driver who intentionally drove into the crowd of protesters is now a murderer source: apnews.com \| share:	271

Fri July 03, 2020
		Looks like it's gonna be harder to vote in Alabama thanks to new Supreme Court ruling source: thehill.com \| share:	28
		Putin's changes to the Russian constitution, including an amendment granting former Russian presidents automatic immunity from criminal prosecution and another that keeps him in power until 2036, kicks in on July 4. The timing is purely coincidental source: reuters.com \| share:	42

Thu July 02, 2020
		The World Sports Photography Awards 2020 are in, and we are lucky they judge photos from 2019 source: theguardian.com \| share:	3
		Trumps lawyer: My client can't be sued in this court as my client does not live in New York. Trump: I live in Manhattan. Lawyer: Never mind source: yahoo.com \| share:	82

Wed July 01, 2020
		Trump disheartened to learn that just because he appointed them, he doesn't own them source: nbcnews.com \| share:	28
		Huh. Huh huh huh. What's an empty vee? source: news.avclub.com \| share:	23

Tue June 30, 2020
		Mary Trump's Dirty Family Secrets book temporarily held up in court. Suggested Plan B: leak the book online, GoFundMe tip jar source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	27
		Mary Trump's Tell-All Book Temporarily Blocked in Court source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	125
		Lawyers for George Floyd's murderers announce that accurately describing the murder biases potential jurors source: nytimes.com \| share:	78
		Lawyers for George Floyd's murderers announce that accurately describing the murder biases potential jurors source: nytimes.com \| share:	78

Mon June 29, 2020
		Missouri governor gives up on one of his ideas in turning the state into Gilead source: fox2now.com \| share:	10
		Harris County, Texas judge on the recent coronavirus surge: "We opened too quickly", goes on to blame Texas governor Greg Abbott for everything source: theguardian.com \| share:	50
		The entire Trump family relies on secrecy agreements to keep all that dirty laundry from spilling out source: theguardian.com \| share:	24
		Your execution is a go, we have a greenlight source: nbcnews.com \| share:	106

Sun June 28, 2020
		Taking a cue from Trump, Lebanese judge bans media from talking to US ambassador for a year, in a reverse chicken vs egg scenario source: timesofisrael.com \| share:	9

Sat June 27, 2020
		A judge after throwing out a lawsuit filed by Stan Lee's daughter: "Stan Lee, a superhero in his own right, served to inspire the everyday hero. The Court urges parties to treat his legacy with respect and cease engaging in meritless litigation" source: cinemablend.com \| share:	14
		It won't be the same without Harry Anderson source: journalstar.com \| share:	59
		Roger Stone to be pardoned by July 13 source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	62

Fri June 26, 2020
		1. Be a psychic. 2. Fail to predict something. 3. Profit (possible nsfw content on page) source: dailystar.co.uk \| share:	28
		New York judge rules that the state doesn't have enough coronavirus spread source: twitter.com \| share:	74
		Australia and New Zealand will host the 2023 Women's World Cup. Judges say they were hands-down the best choice source: bbc.com \| share:	15
		Trump is making our economic, public health, and racial crises worse. Being judged for that is causing him stress. And stress is making Trump more Trumpy. It's the circle of strife source: theatlantic.com \| share:	40

Thu June 25, 2020
		Judging by this judge's behavior, he shouldn't be judging others' behavior. Judge behavior source: wkbw.com \| share:	29
		Trump family is as good at hiring lawyers as Donnie Two Scoops is, as judge tells them this is a Wendy's and your coupon is for McDonald's Russian branch source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	54
		Trump family is as good at hiring lawyers as Donnie Two Scoops is, as judge tells them this is a Wendy's and your coupon is for McDonald's Russian branch source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	54
		Devin Nunes cannot sue Twitter over a fake cow judge ruuuuuules source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	53

Wed June 24, 2020
		Judge orders president to wear a mask: "He has a constitutional obligation to follow the laws as well as to promote the general welfare of the people, which means taking measures to protect citizens' right to health," -difficulty: not the US source: thehill.com \| share:	33
		"Veteran police officers fired for recorded conversations." Well, how bad can it-- HOLY SH*T source: portcitydaily.com \| share:	164
		Of the 53 Appeals Court judges and 2 Supreme Court justices that Trump and Mitch have placed on the bench, not a single one is black. Tag is for the next 40 years source: huffpost.com \| share:	100
		House Judiciary Committee will hear testimony from DOJ officials on AG Barr's corruption beginning at 12PM Eastern source: c-span.org \| share:	316
		Judge Jackson would like to know exactly why Roger Stone deserves special treatment source: twitter.com \| share:	55

Tue June 23, 2020
		Ramsey County correctional officers file discrimination charges after being judged "not white enough to guard Derek Chauvin" source: npr.org \| share:	58
		2020 continues it's relentless onslaught of horror, with plague, locusts, war, and Bill Cosby back in court source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	24
		2020 continues it's relentless onslaught of horror, with plague, locusts, war, and Bill Cosby back in court source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	24
		White nationalist Richard Spencer officially has a fool for a client source: apnews.com \| share:	46
		White nationalist Richard Spencer officially has a fool for a client source: apnews.com \| share:	46

Mon June 22, 2020
		Facebook and Twitter stack the deck in favor of police and prosecutors source: wired.com \| share:	5

Sat June 20, 2020
		Judge says Bolton sucks and his book may proceed to be pirated source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	145
		Judge in Bolton book case says it's too late to put the moustache back in the bottle source: politico.com \| share:	44
		NOT NEWS: Black man convicted of murder. NEWS: After 20 years he was exonerated. FARK: He knows another black man who was wrongfully convicted for 29 years. DOUBLE FARK: It's his brother. TRIPLE FARK: Both convicted by the same police and prosecutor source: nbcnews.com \| share:	69

Fri June 19, 2020
		Captain Obvious went from selling hotel rooms to heading up the NSA source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	13
(PokerNews)		Nine years after Black Friday, states are finally allowing players to play online poker. Let's see how the Department of Justice feels about that. And also how they feel about online lottery ticket sales source: pokernews.com \| share:	13
		Mick Mulvaney: "Portions of John Bolton's book are 'factually false' and 'classified." Reporter: "How so?" Mick Mulvaney: "Um, errrrrrr, um OBAMAGATE, BENGHAZI, EMAILS" source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	59

Thu June 18, 2020
		Susan Collins wants to be a "centrist" again, says she opposes the elevation of Judge Justin Walker, a former Kavanaugh Clerk and McConnell protege. to the DC Appeals Ct. Mind you, she voted yes, in October, to make him a judge in the first place source: politico.com \| share:	43
		Aunt Becky is scared she'll get COVID19 in prison source: msn.com \| share:	39

Wed June 17, 2020
		If you stopped in Orlando International Airport recently, you might want to see if you got coronavirus as a parting gift source: clickorlando.com \| share:	29
		Misha Flynn says holding him accountable for his crimes is "an affront to the Rule of Law" source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	39
		Federal judge orders Grin Munchkin to release all COVID relief funds for tribes now because laws aren't optional source: pressherald.com \| share:	30
		Crypto founder admits he crypto-ed investors out of some real money source: msn.com \| share:	8
		Quaker Oats, a wholly owned subsidiary of the Pepsi Corporation, has decided that now would probably be a good time to retire plantation mammy Aunt Jemima source: nbcnews.com \| share:	286
		Former Bumble Bee tuna CEO gets sentenced to 40 months for price fixing. That's gotta sting source: nypost.com \| share:	14
		Former Bumble Bee tuna CEO gets sentenced to 40 months for price fixing. That's gotta sting source: nypost.com \| share:	14
		Um, Mr. Judge, we know you ruled that felons can vote but could you put that on hold while we, um, while we're, um, uh, until after the election? source: wfla.com \| share:	36

Tue June 16, 2020
		How many people has your utility company killed? Contender for title is "84 involuntary manslaughter convictions". Who? you'll Probably Guess Eventually source: theguardian.com \| share:	84
		♫ ♬ Cellino and Barnes... consulted their attorneys... wonder who gets the phone number ♪ ♫ ♬ source: nypost.com \| share:	33

Mon June 15, 2020
		"He also wants each of his lawyers to pay him $10,000 an hour from December 2015 to April of this year for lost wages" source: theadvocate.com \| share:	46
		Subby has to report for jury duty today. Anyone have a good story about serving? source: azcentral.com \| share:	107
		Russia sentences US citizen and military man Paul Whelan to 16 years of hard labor for being a particularly bad spy source: chicagotribune.com \| share:	25

Sat June 13, 2020
		"Hell no, you don't use tear gas on peaceful protestors" -- now said to Seattle PD by a judge who throws in flash-bangs, pepper balls, blast balls, ow my balls, rubber bullets and foam-tip projectiles as well source: kiro7.com \| share:	33

Fri June 12, 2020
		Devin Nunes' attorney says he's at a "dead end" in search for identity of @DevinCow, claims the steaks are high and Nunes has a valid beef. Judge is not amoosed, takes stock, says he smells bull source: thehill.com \| share:	56
		Ohio Supreme Court rules you wouldn't have gotten a ticket if you weren't speeding source: thenewspaper.com \| share:	82
		Mikey Flynn's lawyers are having a tough time convincing Second Court to tell First Court to flush before it's done. "This shiat takes time" source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	95
		Mikey Flynn's lawyers are having a tough time convincing Second Court to tell First Court to flush before it's done. "This shiat takes time" source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	95
		Judge shows leniency and reduces the sentence of two all you can eat Thai seafood scammers to just 723 years. Guess he didn't see the chocolate fountain source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	35
		ABC announces GOP 'Rona Fest 20 will be crucial to one state source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com \| share:	65
		ABC announces GOP 'Rona Fest 20 will be crucial to one state source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com \| share:	65

Thu June 11, 2020
		NJ eyesore to be imploded. No, not the American Dream Meadowlands, Trump Plaza Atlantic City source: nj.com \| share:	54
		In this story's defence, it starts with a dairy-based low-speed non-collision and a poop-flinging incident before becoming horrifically brutal (possible nsfw content on page) source: dailystar.co.uk \| share:	29
		Man, Olivia Wilde has really let herself go while in prison source: knewz.com \| share:	38

Wed June 10, 2020
		Florida Judge: Sure I lied in an attempt to see my son in jail but I was out of town when my judicial assistant filed an injunction against the person he is accused of shooting. Besides I never got to see him in jail, so it shouldn't count source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	33
		Florida Judge: Sure I lied in an attempt to see my son in jail but I was out of town when my judicial assistant filed an injunction against the person he is accused of shooting. Besides I never got to see him in jail, so it shouldn't count source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	33
		DOJ decision on Flynn is "gross abuse of power", says N.S. Sherlock source: nytimes.com \| share:	36
		(pinky to mouth) "$2 priceless trillion" source: appleinsider.com \| share:	34
		Law & Order. Oh wait, this one really is about the TV show source: pagesix.com \| share:	45
		A federal judge has read the unredacted Mueller report and DOJ has some 'splainin to do source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	87
		Texas District Judge candidate eggs Texas Judge's Lexus SUV in his driveway to protest an "unconstitutional" stay at home order. Goes to the door, hugs the Judge and tries to give him $20. Then it gets weird source: nypost.com \| share:	38
		Tennessee tells judge to get screwed, refuses to allow four million people a chance to vote. If only there were a higher level of government to enforce this source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	61
		Judge: Look, you've done this shiat for 400 years and enough is enough. No "absolute immunity for fear-based use of deadly force against African Americans" source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	97

Tue June 09, 2020
		WHY SO SERIOUS, judge? source: chicagotribune.com \| share:	25
		WHY SO SERIOUS, judge? source: chicagotribune.com \| share:	25
		Judge blocks the removal of Lee's statue from Richmond because of a lawsuit by the family who donated the land on which it stands, claiming VA promised to ""faithfully guard" and "affectionately protect" the statue. You can't do that in a warehouse? source: npr.org \| share:	177

Mon June 08, 2020
		Fark Headline: Canadian tethered to 265 pounds of marijuana found unconscious in Detroit River source: mlive.com \| share:	67

Sat June 06, 2020
		Two of the men charged in the death of George Floyd were rookies who had been full-fledged officers less than a week source: foxnews.com \| share:	222

Fri June 05, 2020
		Florida Woman shows Florida Man how it's done .... with a hamburger source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	26
		Yesterday's crazy Clawman of NYC is today's incarcerated jackass source: apnews.com \| share:	50
		Simi Valley Mayor wants to hose down George Floyd demonstrators with sewage, is concerned about the town's "bad rap because of the Rodney King trial" source: losangeles.cbslocal.com \| share:	59
		Judge rules that every Tennessee voter can now vote by mail source: twitter.com \| share:	33
		Judge to Bernie Madoff: I sentenced you to 150 years so that you would spend the rest of your life in prison. Release denied source: twitter.com \| share:	51

Thu June 04, 2020
		Iggy Pop calls for big cat protection, becomes Carole Baskin's latest nemesis source: nme.com \| share:	8

Wed June 03, 2020
		Bingo. Serious business source: theguardian.com \| share:	12

Tue June 02, 2020
		QAnon idiot who blocked the Hoover Dam bridge with an armored truck full of ammo has his plea deal shot down by a judge source: azcentral.com \| share:	43
		In other killer cop news US Court of Appeals rules cops don't automatically get protected from lawsuit when they shoot and kill guy in his own apartment source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	42
		Lenny Dykstra says the Mets conspired to be 108 snitches against him source: nypost.com \| share:	14
		Who owns Wynnewood Zoo? Carole 'Farkin' Baskin source: courthousenews.com \| share:	37
		What's the deal with nomenclature for officials? You can't call a basketball guy an umpire, you can't call a baseball guy a referee, and you can call a football guy a ref or an ump but definitely not a judge unless he's one of the judges source: atlasobscura.com \| share:	23

Mon June 01, 2020
		Judges in Harris County, Texas were far more likely to appoint lawyers who had donated to their campaigns to represent poor criminal defendants. Yeeee-haaah, Lone Star justice, y'all source: nytimes.com \| share:	17
		Judges in Harris County, Texas were far more likely to appoint lawyers who had donated to their campaigns to represent poor criminal defendants. Yeeee-haaah, Lone Star justice, y'all source: nytimes.com \| share:	17
		Judge Sullivan issues filing in Flynn case: Jesus H. Christ, what is up with the Attorney General? This is an unprecedented level of meddling that needs its own investigation, and no, we shouldn't drop the case. And this isn't even my final ruling source: twitter.com \| share:	76
		Trump announces that the First Amendment is a little more flexible now that he's installed enough judges source: twitter.com \| share:	118
		Noting that his bad reputation of being racist, misogynist, anti-gay, a sexual predator, a drug-abuser, a thief, and an embezzler couldn't be further tarnished, judge throws out Lenny Dyskstra's libel suit against Ron Darling. Nailed it source: nj.com \| share:	20

Sat May 30, 2020
		Florida man on death row finds out another man has since confessed to killing the victim. Florida judge: "Sorry, that's not 'new evidence', you get to stay on death row" source: upi.com \| share:	74
		Leaked internal Facebook posts: Employees are horrified that Zuckerberg refuses to remove Trump's threats of violence. "If we fail the test case here," wrote one, "history will not judge us kindly" source: theverge.com \| share:	59

Fri May 29, 2020
		Today in magic bullets: 7 protesters surrounding a police car in Louisville were shot last night, but it's 'unclear who shot them' source: nytimes.com \| share:	71

Thu May 28, 2020
		NY Giants defensive lineman's coach Sean Spicer described as "a little bit of a psychopath...in a positive way." What's Sean Spicer doing coaching for the Giants? He is ... who? ... Sean Spencer? .... Ooooh .... Never mind source: giantswire.usatoday.com \| share:	5
		Supreme Court will decide if churches get to be virulently idiotic source: usatoday.com \| share:	35
		Republicans in 2016: We can't confirm any judges during an election year. Republicans in 2020: Retire now so we can confirm young judges for life before we lose the election source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	86
		No judgements, but it looks like Skynet's been dipping into the monkey pron lately source: phys.org \| share:	4
		...and then things got weird source: theguardian.com \| share:	27
		If you accidentally set fire to all the money you plan to steal, are you really a "master thief?" source: apnews.com \| share:	26

Wed May 27, 2020
		Governor files federal appeal to overturn popular will and reinstate unconstitutional poll tax source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	59
		Legal "scholars" embarrass themselves by writing to the "judge" in the Michael Flynn case to express their concern for the "rule of law" if the case is dismissed, just because he "pled guilty" to "crimes" source: thefederalist.com \| share:	65

Tue May 26, 2020
		Remember that judge whose advice to a rape victim was "close your legs?" He ain't a judge no more source: apnews.com \| share:	96
		Remember that judge whose advice to a rape victim was "close your legs?" He ain't a judge no more source: apnews.com \| share:	96
		The SPECIAL hell source: king5.com \| share:	44

Mon May 25, 2020
		Volkswagen gets Der Volksellbogen source: bbc.com \| share:	15
		Ok folks now that Trump says corona is over lets roll back the Mueller clock source: military.com \| share:	78
		EU privacy laws intended to regulate Facebook et al used to stop a grandmother posting online images of her grandchildren source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	28

Sun May 24, 2020
		In a major victory, a federal judge just struck down Florida's pay-to-vote system source: tampabay.com \| share:	49
		Oregon Supreme Court slaps down activist judge source: oregonlive.com \| share:	28

Sat May 23, 2020
		Well, this complicates things. Judge Sullivan has hired Justice I Like Beer's attorney to defend his refusal to drop charges against Flynn source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	55
		FBI to investigate itself, find it did everything wrong but that's okay because it means nobody else did anything wrong. Is that clear? source: usatoday.com \| share:	27

Fri May 22, 2020
		More grapefruit headed for a horrible ending because of this source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	33
		More grapefruit headed for a horrible ending because of this source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	33
		The Arizona mall shooter came with 90 rounds and was targeting couples. Then the AR-15 jammed source: kjzz.org \| share:	314
		The best way to beat Covid-19 is to steal a helicopter and shoot up the hospital until they release all the patients they're quarantining source: military.com \| share:	72

Thu May 21, 2020
		Federal judge taps Barr on the wrist for withholding evidence source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	16
		Ankle monitors on accused violent offenders deactivated after program runs out of money source: wreg.com \| share:	23
		"Everywhere you look" there's a plea deal source: tmz.com \| share:	47

Wed May 20, 2020
		News: Federal judge rules citizens afraid of catching Covid-19 can vote by mail. Fark: in Texas source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	37

Tue May 19, 2020
		White House lawyers: "Please dismiss this lawsuit over us gutting the EPA as is our absolute immunity right according to Constitution, v.2020" ..... CA Federal judge: "As if" source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	10
		Epstein's estate has failed to turn over any documents for their lawsuit. Signed, His victims' attorneys' mothers source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	14
		Ever wonder how the Trump family built the Pyramids? You're about to find out source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	44
		"For 30 years, eight boxes of reel-to-reel tapes labeled "George Jones albums" sat forgotten in a bank vault in New Orleans. Six years and a court battle spanning two states later, those same boxes now sit in a bank vault in Benton County, TN" source: whig.com \| share:	24
		"Republican AGs tell judge to drop Michael Flynn's case, stay out of politics" read Judge Sullivan just before shooting coffee through nose source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	82
		Old news: Outside prosecutor brought in to consider charges against the men who killed Ahmaud Arbery . New News: and also, an outside JUDGE to hear the case source: apnews.com \| share:	81
		Old news: Outside prosecutor brought in to consider charges against the men who killed Ahmaud Arbery . New News: and also, an outside JUDGE to hear the case source: apnews.com \| share:	81
		More blood for the blood god source: sfgate.com \| share:	47

Mon May 18, 2020
		Profiles in Courage: Wisconsin edition source: foxnews.com \| share:	56
		The "I'm rubber, you're glue" defense isn't going to save Flynn source: newsweek.com \| share:	29
		Sure, we've had first impeachment, but what about second impeachment? source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	101
		Judge denies request by 'delusional' Martin Shkreli to be released to conduct COVID-19 research source: ktla.com \| share:	37

Sun May 17, 2020
		Betsy DeVos, literally the f*cking worst source: politicususa.com \| share:	42

Sat May 16, 2020
		Judge orders Los Angeles to remove Trumpvilles, tell people to go be homeless somewhere else source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	86
		Two NFL players who robbed a poker party claim it wasn't them. Let's see if the judge calls their bluff source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	25
		Judge dismisses "happy cow" suit against Ben & Jerry's, says thery're probably more "fat & sassy" source: chron.com \| share:	5
		You'll never believe just how stocked Judge Jeanine keeps her bar source: twitter.com \| share:	122
		Judge rules that woman can sue Edward Norton over production of Motherless Brooklyn. The other four people who saw it are willing to settle for a ticket refund source: nypost.com \| share:	13
		Judge rules that woman can sue Edward Norton over production of Motherless Brooklyn. The other four people who saw it are willing to settle for a ticket refund source: nypost.com \| share:	13

Fri May 15, 2020
		Devin Nunes just got a better lawyer. Trump appointed judge just explained in detail how the case should have been filed, instead of dismissing case source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	66
		Rich guy says public dock near his luxury home gets in the way of his three boats. Bonus: he knew it was there when he bought the house but assumed he could "fix the problem" with enough money and lawyers source: startribune.com \| share:	99
		Gelfling unable to secure emergency divorce from French muppet, hmmmmmmmmm source: pagesix.com \| share:	19

Thu May 14, 2020
		NY judge allows for the 33 subpoenas against the Sackler family drug money records source: law.com \| share:	19
		And just like that, the emolumments lawsuit against Trump is back on again. "Judges rejected Trump's argument that a court can't review his emoluments-tied actions, saying they "collapse under scrutiny" source: law.com \| share:	40
		Hannity accuses the judge in the Flynn case of "reeking of political bias" source: mediaite.com \| share:	64
		Hannity accuses the judge in the Flynn case of "reeking of political bias" source: mediaite.com \| share:	64
		Stemming from an FOIA lawsuit filed by the NYT, U.S. District Judge Amy Berman Jackson orders the WH to turn over 20 Ukraine emails ASAP source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	55

Wed May 13, 2020
		Masks not required in Oklahoma courthouse, briefs still OK source: kfor.com \| share:	18
		Judge Sullivan finds someone to do the job Trump's DOJ won't source: npr.org \| share:	136
		In case you aren't a law-talking guy you should know that Judge Sullivan's order requesting "amicus briefs" in the Flynn case and declining the prosecution's request to drop charges is HIGHLY unusual....and bad news for Flynn source: npr.org \| share:	190
		In case you aren't a law-talking guy you should know that Judge Sullivan's order requesting "amicus briefs" in the Flynn case and declining the prosecution's request to drop charges is HIGHLY unusual....and bad news for Flynn source: npr.org \| share:	190
		Sex work is still work, rules judge. Strip clubs will get pandemic relief funds source: nbcnews.com \| share:	87
		Another day, another case with potential republic-altering ramifications. This is your Faithless Elector SCOTUS discussion thread (10am EST) source: c-span.org \| share:	30
		Trans woman that had case heard by SCOTUS for being fired from funeral home for being trans finds different path back to workplace source: thecut.com \| share:	31
		If you can't defeat your enemy, fight like them source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	3

Tue May 12, 2020
		Can we really tell male and female dinosaurs apart, and is that being homind-judgemental? source: eurekalert.org \| share:	8
		Judge Sullivan isn't having any of the DOJ's Flynn flam source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	188
		Tennessee appeals judges say it's OK to make creepy videos of women without their consent. So Cooter can film y'alls cooter ladies source: msn.com \| share:	109

Mon May 11, 2020
		While at Duke, Zion Williamson may have been given a small portion of what he's worth. NCAA sucks source: espn.com \| share:	11

Sun May 10, 2020
		The Department of (In)Justice is even more inept that you had previously thought. And considering the regard the DOJ is held in around these parts, that bar was set pretty low to begin with source: cnn.com \| share:	187

Sat May 09, 2020
		Ted Cruz does the most Ted Cruz-iest thing he could possibly do. Remember to check back 14 days from now to see if he tests positive for the 'rona source: god.dailydot.com \| share:	76
		Ted Cruz does the most Ted Cruz-iest thing he could possibly do. Remember to check back 14 days from now to see if he tests positive for the 'rona source: god.dailydot.com \| share:	76

Fri May 08, 2020
		For 237th time this year, a judge has declined to dismiss Aunt Becky's case source: apnews.com \| share:	47
		For 237th time this year, a judge has declined to dismiss Aunt Becky's case source: apnews.com \| share:	47
		Make America Sick Again cultist who blew his nose on a Dollar Tree employee's shirt is arrested source: abc12.com \| share:	64
		Interactive US map of state COVID-19 testing and reopening. Basically, it's the Cursed Earth from Judge Dredd, minus Texas City source: nytimes.com \| share:	16

Thu May 07, 2020
		Barr intervenes to protect Flynn from prosecution source: apnews.com \| share:	456
		Court rules that blowing your fingers off with fireworks is not a job-related injury for a truck driver source: journalstar.com \| share:	16
		Sarah Palin says, let me get in on this anti-science crapola. I love stupid source: dfw.cbslocal.com \| share:	90
		Florida man wins guns vs knifes debate source: fox13news.com \| share:	40

Wed May 06, 2020
		American Bar Association in 2019 'this guy isn't qualified to be dog catcher' ABA in 2020 'Appeals court judge requires a different skill set than dog catcher so he'll probably be alright' source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	20
		One of the sentences a judge does not imagine-much less welcome-writing includes the words 'butt shaking' in describing a lawyer's alleged actions at a mediation. Sadly, those words fit here source: news.bloomberglaw.com \| share:	20
		A Dallas salon owner will lose seven days of freedumbs after refusing to apologize for opening her business in defiance of countywide restrictions source: fox26houston.com \| share:	88
		A Dallas salon owner will lose seven days of freedumbs after refusing to apologize for opening her business in defiance of countywide restrictions source: fox26houston.com \| share:	88

Tue May 05, 2020
		Federal judge restores New York's Democratic presidential primary for June 23, says eliminating it was unconstitutional source: twitter.com \| share:	166
		Chief judge of DC Court of Appeals has asked CJ Roberts to assign a formal investigation into whether McConnell unethically pressured a sitting judge to retire so McConnell could install his protege Justin Walker source: nytimes.com \| share:	32
		Chief judge of DC Court of Appeals has asked CJ Roberts to assign a formal investigation into whether McConnell unethically pressured a sitting judge to retire so McConnell could install his protege Justin Walker source: nytimes.com \| share:	32
		I did not win it. I did not. Oh, hai lawsuit source: news.avclub.com \| share:	28
		Mitch McConnell says to hell with approving more coronavirus stimulus, remains laser-focused on the Republican takeover of all judgeships source: vox.com \| share:	71

Mon May 04, 2020
		Judge (to idiot pastor): Since you know the Bible so well, show me where is says God commands a packed church in order to worship and pray source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com \| share:	204
		Stinky Cat's US extradition case to resume in September source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	23
		Court to Nunes: go fark your grapefruit somewhere else source: politico.com \| share:	54
		How safe is grocery shopping during this pandemic? It depends on how many people sneeze on the squash, cough on the cauliflower, or perform unnatural acts with eggplants. What? Don't judge, you haven't seen my local Kroger source: abc7news.com \| share:	11
		Weedlord Bonerhitler is about to learn that consequences will never be the same source: engadget.com \| share:	45

Sun May 03, 2020
		Judge rules in favor of helping single moms source: tmj4.com \| share:	73
		Friday: No, world champion US Women's Soccer Team; you can't have equal pay. - Judge. Saturday: US Soccer, give equal pay to the women or I won't give you funding for the men's World Cup when I'm president - Joe Biden source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	159

Sat May 02, 2020
		Fraudster CEO going into bankruptcy selling off his massive car collection. Bigger than Jay Leno's and Tony Stark's combined source: businessinsider.com \| share:	26
		Federal court to New York nurses: fark off and die source: reuters.com \| share:	30
		Apparently, reading between the lines does not warrant a traffic stop source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	31
(Outline - WaPo)		Federal judge rules women should only get paid 81% of what a man gets paid source: outline.com \| share:	134
		The GOP nightmare if Democrats control everything: Washington, D.C. and Puerto Rico gaining statehood, abolishing the Electoral College, and adding four judges to the Supreme Court source: dailykos.com \| share:	239

Fri May 01, 2020
		Don't judge someone based upon their looks...except this guy source: foxnews.com \| share:	81
		Raiders win legal battle to relocate. This is not a repeat from 1982 source: reviewjournal.com \| share:	17
		Raiders win legal battle to relocate. This is not a repeat from 1982 source: reviewjournal.com \| share:	17
		U.S. Appeals Court: Sorry, Donnie, but you can't punish "sanctuary cities" by withholding coronavirus aid source: yahoo.com \| share:	60

Thu April 30, 2020
		Judge tells Klayman and Arpaio to stop wasting the courts time but refuses to sanction them, meaning they will continue to waste the court's time by changing the date on suit and refiling it source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	23
		Judge tells Klayman and Arpaio to stop wasting the courts time but refuses to sanction them, meaning they will continue to waste the court's time by changing the date on suit and refiling it source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	23
		World crosses its fingers as Florida man takes on HP over its 'rinky dink ink stink' source: theregister.co.uk \| share:	19
		Nobody puts Pastor Tony Spell in a corner source: alternet.org \| share:	52
		Crossbow-wielding man confronts visitor with ax to grind; quarrel ensues source: mtstandard.com \| share: