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headlines found matching 'Johns Hopkins University'
Sun August 09, 2020
(BGR)
 
 
 
Webcams on the edge of forever
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Sat August 08, 2020
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
2.72 million Americans have brain damage
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 07, 2020
(Independent)
 
 
 
"Almost immune"
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 06, 2020
(Nature)
 
 
 
Apparently two decades of pandemic war games were no match for Trump's incompetence
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Donnie to sign an executive order requiring U.S. to buy 'essential' drugs from American companies because that's where the graft is. The best graft. Payoffs and kickbacks like no other country
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Every 80 seconds
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 05, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
"There is a degree of anti-science feeling in this country," Fauci said. [OBVIOUS] and [MURICA] tags offer no comment, citing death threats made against them after prior appearances
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 04, 2020
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Op-ed writer admits he was wrong
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun August 02, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dr. Birx announces what everyone's known for a month
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Fringe science group urges schools to reopen despite pandemic
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trust.org)
 
 
 
Mexico is numero tres
source: news.trust.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 31, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
Old and busted: kids writing "How I spent my summer" essays for their teachers. 2020 hotness: teachers writing their own obituaries for the governor
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Thu July 30, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Why some Americans will never wear a mask. Um...is it because they're idiots?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nature)
 
 
 
Far side images of Pluto suggest subsurface ocean, cows looking out for cars
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Thank you Mr. President
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 28, 2020
(NPR)
 
 
 
*click* We die
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
Giant waves of sand are moving on Mars. Fark: Astronomers were surprised by this
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"This could have been stopped. It could have been stopped quickly and easily. But for some reason, it wasn't, and we'll figure out what that reason was," said Trump. Gosh, I wonder what it could have been
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 27, 2020
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
"You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing after they have tried everything else"
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Going back to shelter in place would significantly cut coronavirus transmission, a certain president's golfing time
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 24, 2020
(Women's Health)
 
 
 
First time e-mailer, long time viewer. Please have your thyroid checked. The lump on your neck reminds me of mine when I was diagnosed with cancer
source: womenshealthmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The Donald Trump of Asia: Wash your masks in gasoline to kill Covid
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
States: We need covid tests and PPE. Trump: You'll get jackbooted thugs and like it
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 23, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Obama and Biden meet up (surprisingly not in Joe's basement) to talk about Trump's terrible coronavirus response, agree that Trump 'just can't relate in any way' about how serious the virus really is
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Center for Public Integrity)
 
 
 
Leader of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, Dr. Deborah Birx warns 11 cities must take "aggressive" action to stem their epidemic. Offers no help
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(CNBC)
 
 
 
Weekly initial jobless claims blow past estimates 1.416m vs 1.3m estimate
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Bill Gates says that if he can't get his satanic 666 devil-chip inside of your Christian body on the first try, he'll dig and stab and poke you again and again until you take the Mark of the Beast and worship his dark lord forever
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 21, 2020
(Independent)
 
 
 
Coronavirus infections could be up to 13 times higher across US than initially reported, CDC finds
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I'm headed to Venus
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Putin's finance minister says there are no hackers working for the Russian government. THAT'S THE JOKE
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 19, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
600,000
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Senate Republicans: The CDC needs more money for testing and tracing. White House: You'll get nothing and like it
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 18, 2020
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
It starts with a slight fever and dryness of the throat. The victim becomes dizzy, begins to experience an itchy rash, then severe muscle spasms followed by the inevitable drooling, accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence
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Fri July 17, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Dr. Gallant: Hey, the coronavirus might be worse than the 1918 pandemic if we're not careful. White House chief of staff Goofus: No it's not, and you're an alarmist to say so
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Thu July 16, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
We're at the "refrigerated trucks" handle morgue overflow overture in Texas's reprisal of New York's Pandemic in Springtime
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Bangladeshi hospital owner who cut a few corners in his Covid-testing protocols, specifically, not actually doing the test and then telling the patient the result were negative; was caught at the border while trying to flee to India, wearing a burqua
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
U.S. coronavirus data has already disappeared after Trump administration shifted control from CDC to HHS
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 15, 2020
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Coronavirus can pass through the placenta barrier from mother to fetus and then it gets worse
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Even Better Buy
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
If you thought the logic behind his '1/100th time' tweet was a wonder of mathematic reasoning
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 14, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
CDC says we can get COVID threat under control in 1-2 months if everyone wears a mask
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Governor of NY to charge out-of-state visitors from high-infection states $2000 if they're being idiots
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 13, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Do you know 100 people? At least one of them probably has COVID-19
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 12, 2020
(CTV News)
 
 
 
"Sorry, no"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 11, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Most glorious nation of Kazakhstan says Chinese are know-nothings and there is no new deadly virus is most wonderful and healthy nation
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Fri July 10, 2020
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Can't ignore advice from your top infectious disease expert if you ignore the existence of your expert in the first place
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Barron's)
 
 
 
Hopefully the database column for daily COVID cases was not a 16-bit unsigned integer, because the United States just passed that number
source: barrons.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 09, 2020
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Woodrow Wilson was so much worse than you think
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida blows past previous single day coronavirus death record of 83 set back in late April with 120 deaths today
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump yesterday: I want the CDC to change their guidelines for re-opening schools, they're too hard to do, "I will be meeting with them". CDC: naw dog, they're good just the way they are, not changing them. Sorry...not sorry
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 08, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Last week the US shattered previous records by report a new record 50,000 new coronavirus cases in one day. The good news is that this hasn't happened again. The bad news is that's because we had 60,000 new cases yesterday instead
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 07, 2020
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Well, we're boned
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
We have now passed the point where contact tracing for Covid in portions of the U.S. is even possible. Enjoy your summer
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
US home prices are the latest viral downsizing
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 06, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Two thirds of Georgia Tech's faculty have been turned into rambling wrecks upon hearing the news that the university plans to reopen its campus
source: gpbnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
With 10 million light-year long magnetized filaments of space, the universe has more magnetism than the ICP has Faygo
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 05, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sooo, who's about to become the next FDA commissioner: Ivanka, the My Pillow guy, or that doughy gun-waving couple from St. Louis?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 04, 2020
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Florida sets another record - 11,458
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 03, 2020
(Independent)
 
 
 
Two weeks in the UK this summer? Better make it three so that you can spend at least one week outside of your quarantined hotel room
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Who says the AP doesn't have a sense of humor?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
U.S. surpasses global record for new COVID-19 cases recorded in a day. Ummm...WE'RE #1?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 02, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Did anybody check the golf courses?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Confirmed cases are rising in 40 of 50 states. It would probably be more, but math is, as we have seen, rather hard for some states
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
10,109. In one day
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Yale study supported by the National Institute of Health: Official U.S. coronavirus death toll is a lie
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Hunger-blocking hormone found to reverse opioid overdoses in mice, giving overweight junkies everywhere hope for skinny jeans
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 01, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump bails out on Alabama rally after realizing maybe people just might not want to catch the covid
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 30, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Another side effect of COVID-19 appears: Dad bod
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It's not politics, it's science. One graphic explains why the EU doesn't want any American tourists
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Gainesville college students who went out partying in bars claiming their college town "barely has any" COVID-19 cases...well you can figure out what happened next
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
With the exception of Presidents Lincoln and Roosevelt, there will be no social distancing at Trump's 3rd of July Mount Rushmore event. Yeah, I'm not going to tell him Independence Day is on the 4th either
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"One graphic explains why Americans are facing an EU travel ban". Difficulty: it's somehow not the picture of the MAGA-hat wearer with his mask pulled up over his eyes
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(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Adult poRn star shows her 'O' face after filming sex scene after getting caught on a bus without face mask. Police now looking for her about breaking coronavirus regulations, something on the side (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FactCheck)
 
 
 
NO, the Florida Surgeon general did NOT issue an "emergency alert" telling people to stop wearing masks, in fact he said the exact opposite. YES: Russia is clearly trying to kill us all off via Facebook trolling, and we're dumb enough to help
source: factcheck.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
CDC gives up
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 29, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Dow Jumps: Shakes magic 8 ball...because it believes in Peter Pan and Tinker Bell
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Everything just "HAS" to be bigger in Texas. Even the number of people infected with novel coronavirus
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 28, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
10,000,000
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
OMG greenlight this now, it's too good to check no time to check anyway just greenlight it already greenlight it NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 26, 2020
(University of British Colombia)
 
 
 
Scientists at the No S*** Sherlock Institute determine that smoking, divorce and alcohol abuse are the factors most closely associated with dying
source: news.ubc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Dueling Goofus-Gallant campaign events are offering contrasting virus responses, color schemes
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Joe Biden has had another 57 states moment so Trump is king for life
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Turns out even if the US were to be more like Sweden, people will just stay home instead of spending money
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 25, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
In denial and Indifferent: Heart of a Narcissist
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"Helpful" Civilization 6-style map to show us all just how screwed we are
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
The US' 2.5 million confirmed Covid-19 cases represent 25% of the world's known 10 million cases. However CDC officials believe the actual number of Americans infected with the virus may be SLIGHTLY higher...like, say, 10x higher
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
When a staid news organization like CNN is openly using words like "Apocalyptic" in their headlines for stories about a pandemic, well you're either getting zombies, or what we have incoming in the next few months..and the zombies would be preferable
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 24, 2020
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Smashing another record in Florida. New York hit this level at the end of March after being shut down for a week, can't wait to see how this turns out
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump continues to slide down ramp in slippery new poll. Seems he's bad at handling this pandemic and racial strife. The guy who can't keep a casino afloat is bad at his job? The guy elected by America's racists is bad at his job?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 23, 2020
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"I just spoke with the president," Kayleigh McEnany said, "and he said we are not looking at lifting the national emergency declarations." Which means, of course, that Trump is absolutely cancelling the national emergency declarations
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Viral science superspreader Dr. Fauci testifies before the US House today
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia, proving that it prefers to cut the population down to size on an artisanal rather than industrial scale, cancels the Hajj pilgrimage
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 22, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Gilead to begin human trials for the inhaled version of remdesivir, Larry Kudlow on stand-by
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
White House official claims President Trump was just joking about stifling Covid-19 testing. 120,000 Americans dead...that's is one hell of a punch line
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 21, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
Florida Gov. DeSantis jumps from his left foot to the right and does the Hokey Pokey, says testing doesn't account for COVID-19 spike in his state
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 19, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
You had me at 'hug tunnel'
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 18, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
The next Coronavirus hotspot is going to be where you'd expect
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 16, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Florida, to New York and New Jersey: "Hold my beer"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
IEA sees record oil withdrawal from anus this year, biggest-ever one-year jump in 2021
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 15, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump campaign says it will give temperature checks, masks to rally attendees
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 13, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
So much for "ashes and embers." Leaked CDC document shows 36% increase in COVID-19 cases in one week. Fark: The USA had the biggest spike of percentage change in daily cases
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Finger tapping head - you can't start the second wave if you never technically finish the first wave
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 12, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
CDC warns U.S. may reimplement strict coronavirus measures "if cases go up dramatically". Good luck with that
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Scientists detect unexpected widespread structures near Earth's core. Don't think for an instant that the Molemen and their dino-armies will take being found out nicely
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
White House to blame imminent COVID-19 spike on Mexicans, because of course
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 11, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
VP Mike Pence tweets, then deletes picture of Trump campaign staff definitely not doing what the head of the Coronavirus Task Force is instructing people to do: wear masks, social distance
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 09, 2020
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Hand sanitizer in my gin bottle? It's the new Australian way
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 08, 2020
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
'We don't inevitably have to have a second wave,' says Dr. Fauci, adding, 'but then again, water might not inevitably be wet, either.'
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 05, 2020
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
If only Peter Quill had brought some 'shrooms with his Awesome Mix tapes
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 04, 2020
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
1317...1419
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 03, 2020
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Sweden's chief epidemiologist: Hmmm, maybe we should have tried a lockdown after all
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Scientist admits Sweden could have handled the coronavirus outbreak better, possibly by doing something, anything
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Remember Dr. Fauci and the pandemic? Well he says the US should have 100 million doses of vaccine by the end of year
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 31, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Apparently, Trump wants to poison Brazil now
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 29, 2020
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Indonesia's Minister for Politics: "Initially, you try to control it, then you realise you can't. Then you learn to live with it" a) Covid-19 b) your wife c) Both
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Get your fainting couches fluffed - the IMF says the virus may skew economic data and reduce its accuracy
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Several States take up mushroom farming, you know, keep us in the dark and feed us you know what
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 27, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Can't have a second wave if the first wave never ends
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
A new poll says half of Americans would get a COVID vaccine. The other half say "It's in Thanos' hands now"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 26, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
WHO stops trial using hydrochloroquinine for COVID patients. Who? WHO. No, who? WHO. Stop saying that
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 24, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
Of course it started at a country club
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 23, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Trump's probably hoping someone will steal his identity and actually put money into his account
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 22, 2020
(Vox)
 
 
 
Hong Kong is lost
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 21, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Trump says that even if there's a second round of coronavirus, he won't close the country
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Troll level: god-like
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"It's going to disappear. One day - it's like a miracle - it will disappear"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Small businesses will have to shut down for good despite all those loans
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 20, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Dear America, I'm a billionaire who has lost $7.6B because of Covid-19. For my sake, can you please get outside and die a bit so we can have herd immunity and I can get my money back? Love, Your Friend
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 19, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Russia says many coronavirus patients died of other causes, including defenestration, radioactivity exposure, and hot lead poisoning
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 18, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Most democratic delegates don't want to attend DNC over fears of getting coronavirus, sniffed
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Expert at Johns Hopkins says a Covid-19 vaccine is "possible" by the end of the year just like it's possible Subby will have a threesome with Scarlett Johansson and Amy Adams by the end of the year, but, in both cases "don't bank on it"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NECN Boston)
 
 
 
Coronavirus vaccine test results in all 45 subjects developing antibodies
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
State and Federal data on Covid-19 aren't jiving, just like Rick Dees in the 70s
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 17, 2020
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Badges, we don't need no stinkin' badges...oh wait, it's New Jersey? I guess you do need badges. Never mind
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 15, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Texas reports single-day coronavirus death high two weeks after reopening. I mean, it's not like anyone could've predicted this
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 14, 2020
(BBC)
 
 
 
Mmmm, Barber queues
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"The best way to fight for freedom of expression is for everyone to speak as if we already have freedom of speech," according to a man who was immediately arrested in China
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
There are smart and safe ways to re-open a country. Then there's the US
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Philippines: Last week, Duterte shutdown TV network. This week, Vongfong - a cat three typhoon
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Employee anxious over nine-week-old banana left rotting away in desk drawer at work
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 13, 2020
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
147,000 dead by Aug. 4
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Spread it far and do read it wide: A drug company actually doing something to benefit mankind that does not make them richer
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 12, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Yes yes, but what about the Needful suffering?
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
"Trump Death Clock" in Times Square hits 48,000
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 11, 2020
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Man has affair with Lady Covid19. Stay your Selva alone
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Urgent care provider CityMD: You 15,000 people with coronavirus antibodies? Um, yeah, well darn the luck - it seems you're not - and there's no easy, non-lawsuity way to say this - you're maybe not so immune as we might have suggested. Oopsy
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 09, 2020
(NPR)
 
 
 
Welcome to your future in these coronavirus times: One-way sidewalks and parking-lot dining rooms. Survival is yours if you choose correctly
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 08, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Nothing says this administration more then Mike Pence asking "'Can I carry the empty one just for the camera?' I guess it was filled with thoughts and prayers
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 07, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
COVID-19? Madge says you're soaking in it
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The nation's lone COVID-19 bright spot is in... wait, seriously?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Argentina is on the edge of its ninth - yes, ninth - sovereign default. When they hit ten, the next one's free
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 05, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Texas will have none of your Branch Dildonian behavior
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
"Early government intervention is key to reducing the spread of COVID-19," says the horse long after the barn has gone up in flames and is nothing but a smoldering pile
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Trump contradicts his White House storyline again, says quiet part out loud about blocking Fauci's House testimony
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Poll: most Americans disbelieve officially reported coronavirus death counts. Difficulty: Republicans think fewer people have died than officially reported
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Positive news from the pandemic. 54% of Americans like you. Over there. A little farther. More
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 04, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Stock market investors are starting to realize you can't make money if you kill off all the workers by reopening the economy too soon
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Dr Fauci compares US to Humpty Dumpty
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
From the 'who couldn't see this coming' files: Many countries now reporting new coronavirus infection peaks after easing their lockdowns too early
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 03, 2020
(The Sun)
 
 
 
A third Russian doctor who tried to sound the alarm about coronavirus preparedness has now mysteriously fallen out a window. What a weird coincidence
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
As some states put their collective toes into reopening, COVID-19 death numbers managed an almost 9/11 on Saturday
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 02, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Is it Quarantini time for you again? You just might have an everyday drinking problem in these coronavirus times
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 01, 2020
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Chinese State Media trolls USA with lego animation and chipmunk voices. Feel the burn?
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Not News: States start to lift restrictions. News: State governor allows anyone in a household with sick members, high risk members, or kids to stay on unemployment, regardless if they can get work. Fark: Texas
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 30, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Zuckerbot warns against reopening public spaces too soon, 'likes' a photo of a tree from inside the containment chamber of his holodeck
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 29, 2020
(Medium)
 
 
 
It's not the virus, it's you
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The number of Americans killed by the Vietnam War has now been surpassed by COVID-n-n-n-n-nineteen
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 28, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Crazy Belgians now being called upon to eat fries at least twice a week because more than 750,000 tons of potatoes are at risk of being thrown away. Crazy Belgians: Challenge accepted, pass the Andalouse sauce
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
UN warns that six months of coronavirus lockdowns could lead to an additional 31M cases of domestic violence. And that's WITH the liquor stores remaining open. Merry Christmas
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
One. MIIIIIILLLLLIIIION. Cases
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Trump repeats attacks on press as deaths continue to mount
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 25, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Brazilian scientists cut short chloroquine study due to "primary outcome of death." That's bad, right?
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 24, 2020
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
*roll safe guy puts finger to his temple* Can't have a second wave if everybody dies in the first wave
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady / All you other Slim Shadies are just imitating / So won't the real Slim Shady please send food, please send food, please send food?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone. Georgians can now go get their hair cut and hit the gym so they'll look extra dope in those coffins in a couple of weeks
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 23, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Scientists will science the virus
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Just have a "jerking off" meme running in the corner of the screen
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 22, 2020
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
If at first you don't get COVID, try try again
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
They realized Sycamore's Secret just isn't catchy
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
A very ugly angle to Gov Kemp's decision to re-open: Kemp is white, the leaders and populations of GA's biggest cities, the places that will be most hurt by this when it backfires, are black and blacks already make up 54% of the CV-19 deaths in GA
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 21, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
She sells sea shells by the sea shore. The shells she sells are surely sea shells I see piling up on the sea shore thanks to coronavirus keeping sea shore tourists away
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 19, 2020
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
An ICE jail has become the epicenter of a Covid-19 outbreak
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Seeing as the Olympics won't be needing it this year, Tokyo's homeless ask to use Athletes Village complex to ride out COVID-19
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 18, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
President Trump blames governors for not using the tests they don't have. Do not worry, defunding WHO will fix this. FOR REASONS
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Meal Team Six members in Wisconsin to hold "freedom rally" to fight for their right to infect others with coronavirus
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 17, 2020
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Yes, it's possible to update your will while quarantined. But you'll be dead when they contest it, so don't worry about it too much
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
NEW light AND sound IMaGING will MAKE heart SURgerIES safER
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Procter & Gamble wipes out the competition
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
North Dakota to reopen May 1, allowing residents to return to doing . . . Well, the important thing is that it will be open
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 16, 2020
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Thank you, Switzerland. In a return gesture of friendship, I shall eat some of your cheese. The one with the holes in it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 15, 2020
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
People will drive to Lansing, MI to protest the executive order. Subby agrees with the need to shelter in place, but is going just to get out of the house and meet people
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 14, 2020
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Chile counts people who die from Coronavirus as recovered because they 'are no longer contagious'. Also considers them criminals because they 'are no longer paying taxes'
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Remember the Star Trek episode where the gangsters provided government services?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Hey guys, the Federal Reserve says that quarantining is a really inefficient way to handle Covid-19. That's right, the guys who print money out of thin air are giving medical advice. This timeline sucks
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The zombie apocalypse has begun, for real this time
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Good luck on getting sick in America if you speak a rare language. However, good fortune for interpreters who speak that rare language. So, if you speak Kiswahili or Amharic or other rare languages, there is work to be had
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ghosts enforce coronavirus restrictions in Indonesian village. In other news, they don't have Scooby Doo in Indonesia
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 13, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Never pick a fight with someone who buys videotape by the barrel
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Is this America's first justifiable drive-by shooting? Hmm. Hmmmm
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 12, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
All 50 states have been declared federal disaster zones, from sea to shining sea
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Over half a million Americans have tested positive for coronavirus
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 11, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Azar first briefed Trump about COVID-19 on Jan. 18 at Mar-a-Lago Then, on Jan. 30, Azar briefed the president again on the virus, this time warning that it had the potential to become a pandemic, Trump told Azar that he was being "alarmist"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Doctor Fauci says we could be close to normal ... by November
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Too afraid to go to hospitals at symptom onset, NYCers are dying of heart attacks at home
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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