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headlines found matching 'Johns Hopkins'
Tue August 04, 2020
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Figures that the guy who paid someone to take his SATs doesn't know how to read a graph
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun August 02, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dr. Birx announces what everyone's known for a month
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 28, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump Shats Himself Over Pandemic is the headline my brain wanted to see
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 27, 2020
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
"You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing after they have tried everything else"
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 24, 2020
(Women's Health)
 
 
 
First time e-mailer, long time viewer. Please have your thyroid checked. The lump on your neck reminds me of mine when I was diagnosed with cancer
source: womenshealthmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The Donald Trump of Asia: Wash your masks in gasoline to kill Covid
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 23, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Weekly initial jobless claims blow past estimates 1.416m vs 1.3m estimate
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Bill Gates says that if he can't get his satanic 666 devil-chip inside of your Christian body on the first try, he'll dig and stab and poke you again and again until you take the Mark of the Beast and worship his dark lord forever
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 19, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
600,000
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 16, 2020
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Now, I might be a simple country astrochicken, but this doesn't strike me as an endorsement
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PsyPost)
 
 
 
Scientists at Johns Hopkins release new study explaining why psilocybic muchrooms have been consumed by humans for centuries, and their shocking answer is: 'to get high'
source: psypost.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 15, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Even Better Buy
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Okay, big sigh of relief, everyone: Ruth Bader Ginsburg has been discharged from hospital and is doing well
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
If you thought the logic behind his '1/100th time' tweet was a wonder of mathematic reasoning
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 14, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
Governor of NY to charge out-of-state visitors from high-infection states $2000 if they're being idiots
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
RBG is in the hospital, everybody panic. Seriously, everybody panic
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 13, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Do you know 100 people? At least one of them probably has COVID-19
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 10, 2020
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Can't ignore advice from your top infectious disease expert if you ignore the existence of your expert in the first place
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Barron's)
 
 
 
Hopefully the database column for daily COVID cases was not a 16-bit unsigned integer, because the United States just passed that number
source: barrons.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 07, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
We have now passed the point where contact tracing for Covid in portions of the U.S. is even possible. Enjoy your summer
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 03, 2020
(Independent)
 
 
 
Two weeks in the UK this summer? Better make it three so that you can spend at least one week outside of your quarantined hotel room
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 01, 2020
(Forbes)
 
 
 
The Department of Education announced that they would stop employing Nelnet and Great Lakes to take student loans. It was a surprise for everyone- especially those companies
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 30, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Another side effect of COVID-19 appears: Dad bod
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Gainesville college students who went out partying in bars claiming their college town "barely has any" COVID-19 cases...well you can figure out what happened next
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Adult poRn star shows her 'O' face after filming sex scene after getting caught on a bus without face mask. Police now looking for her about breaking coronavirus regulations, something on the side (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
CDC gives up
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 29, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Everything just "HAS" to be bigger in Texas. Even the number of people infected with novel coronavirus
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 27, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Trump Tweet Friday night: "I was going to go to Bedminster, New Jersey, this weekend, but wanted to stay in Washington, D.C. to make sure LAW & ORDER is enforced. " ..and by that, he meant "I'm going to my VA golf course instead"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 26, 2020
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good news for Covid-19 vaccine makers: The virus doesn't change quickly
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
One of the fringe benefits of Covid-19 is Guillain-Barré Syndrome
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Civil Rights Movement)
 
 
 
Trump's pandemic response is tantamount to genocide
source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Turns out even if the US were to be more like Sweden, people will just stay home instead of spending money
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 25, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
When a staid news organization like CNN is openly using words like "Apocalyptic" in their headlines for stories about a pandemic, well you're either getting zombies, or what we have incoming in the next few months..and the zombies would be preferable
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 21, 2020
(Fark)
 
 
 
Regional delicacies, Queen Elizabeth II, and odd things to get arrested for are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, June 7-13: Fried Coleslaw Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 19, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
You had me at 'hug tunnel'
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 18, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
The next Coronavirus hotspot is going to be where you'd expect
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 15, 2020
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Observatories around the solar system team up to study sun's influence. What's even more interesting is that the Martians are now talking to the Europans, the Uranian Klingons are chipping in, and Moon Base Alpha is still in the loop
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 12, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
CDC warns U.S. may reimplement strict coronavirus measures "if cases go up dramatically". Good luck with that
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 11, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
VP Mike Pence tweets, then deletes picture of Trump campaign staff definitely not doing what the head of the Coronavirus Task Force is instructing people to do: wear masks, social distance
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 08, 2020
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
'We don't inevitably have to have a second wave,' says Dr. Fauci, adding, 'but then again, water might not inevitably be wet, either.'
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Controlling spacecraft from millions of miles away, researching protein-ratcheting techniques involved in nanopore DNA sequencing, collaborative data research - the remarkable stuff scientists get done as they WFH. How's your sofa?
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 07, 2020
(Axios)
 
 
 
Shockingly, a couple of weeks after reopening beaches because pissy idiots wanted to spend memorial day ignoring a pandemic, the pandemic is taking its toll on Florida. Shocking, I know
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 06, 2020
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Fark you poor people
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 05, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
Johns Hopkins epidemiologist: "We should always evaluate the risks and benefits of efforts to control the virus, in this moment the public health risks of not protesting to demand an end to systemic racism greatly exceed the harms of the virus"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 04, 2020
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Well if nothing else, maybe George Floyd can get the last laugh by giving Derek Chauvin coronavirus
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 03, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Remember Dr. Fauci and the pandemic? Well he says the US should have 100 million doses of vaccine by the end of year
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 28, 2020
(Axios)
 
 
 
Coronavirus has all but conquered the south
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 27, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
100,000
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Can't have a second wave if the first wave never ends
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 26, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Mick Mulvaney may not know or care what the prevention paradox is, but his latest statement on COVID-19 seems to be a textbook example of it
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
WHO stops trial using hydrochloroquinine for COVID patients. Who? WHO. No, who? WHO. Stop saying that
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 21, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Trump says that even if there's a second round of coronavirus, he won't close the country
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Parker Solar Probe starts lookIng into the sights of the sun, tests theory that whoa mama that's where the fun is
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"It's going to disappear. One day - it's like a miracle - it will disappear"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 20, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Dear America, I'm a billionaire who has lost $7.6B because of Covid-19. For my sake, can you please get outside and die a bit so we can have herd immunity and I can get my money back? Love, Your Friend
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 19, 2020
(Christian Post)
 
 
 
Georgia church abandons in person services after proof science is more powerful than religion
source: christianpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 18, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
Expert at Johns Hopkins says a Covid-19 vaccine is "possible" by the end of the year just like it's possible Subby will have a threesome with Scarlett Johansson and Amy Adams by the end of the year, but, in both cases "don't bank on it"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 14, 2020
(BBC)
 
 
 
Mmmm, Barber queues
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Employee anxious over nine-week-old banana left rotting away in desk drawer at work
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 13, 2020
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
147,000 dead by Aug. 4
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Spread it far and do read it wide: A drug company actually doing something to benefit mankind that does not make them richer
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 08, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Nothing says this administration more then Mike Pence asking "'Can I carry the empty one just for the camera?' I guess it was filled with thoughts and prayers
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 07, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
COVID-19? Madge says you're soaking in it
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School predicts 350,000 coronavirus deaths by end of June if we re-open everything. Fortunately our president attended that school and will no doubt heed its warning
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 05, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Texas will have none of your Branch Dildonian behavior
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
"Early government intervention is key to reducing the spread of COVID-19," says the horse long after the barn has gone up in flames and is nothing but a smoldering pile
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
If you wondered why the number of resolved cases of COVID-19 are so low, it's because people aren't recovering
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Poll: most Americans disbelieve officially reported coronavirus death counts. Difficulty: Republicans think fewer people have died than officially reported
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 04, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Dr Fauci compares US to Humpty Dumpty
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 02, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Is it Quarantini time for you again? You just might have an everyday drinking problem in these coronavirus times
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 30, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Zuckerbot warns against reopening public spaces too soon, 'likes' a photo of a tree from inside the containment chamber of his holodeck
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 29, 2020
(LGBTQ Nation)
 
 
 
Celebrate the rising death toll with your very own White House Gift Shop COVID-19 Coin
source: lgbtqnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 27, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
A new potential treatment for coronavirus has emerged and it is...heartburn medication? Well, still better than guzzling fish tank cleaner or injecting bleach
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 23, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
How do I deal with a friend who thinks the Coronavirus is a hoax?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 20, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
Sisters have died from the pandemic - 102 years apart
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 18, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Only the second?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
One good thing about the Coronavirus: It finally proved that women are essential
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 17, 2020
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Yes, it's possible to update your will while quarantined. But you'll be dead when they contest it, so don't worry about it too much
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
NEW light AND sound IMaGING will MAKE heart SURgerIES safER
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 16, 2020
(Axios)
 
 
 
JCPenney's out of pennies
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 15, 2020
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
The next hot job will be going around asking people who they have exchanged bodily fluids with recently
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
People will drive to Lansing, MI to protest the executive order. Subby agrees with the need to shelter in place, but is going just to get out of the house and meet people
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 14, 2020
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Chile counts people who die from Coronavirus as recovered because they 'are no longer contagious'. Also considers them criminals because they 'are no longer paying taxes'
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Hey guys, the Federal Reserve says that quarantining is a really inefficient way to handle Covid-19. That's right, the guys who print money out of thin air are giving medical advice. This timeline sucks
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ghosts enforce coronavirus restrictions in Indonesian village. In other news, they don't have Scooby Doo in Indonesia
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 13, 2020
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Is this America's first justifiable drive-by shooting? Hmm. Hmmmm
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 10, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Governor mulling over opening schools because 'Coronavirus doesn't seem to threaten kids'. Yup, Florida
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 09, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Drive-thru testing to begin at Daytona International Speedway. Those who test positive encouraged not to live out Dale Earnhardt fantasies
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
"It's basically like a mass casualty incident right now. It's almost a hopeless situation"
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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