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headlines found matching 'Jesus'
Fri February 03, 2023
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Drake thinks he should get more money from Spotify
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 02, 2023
(Slate)
 
 
 
Our political divide has led to the Great National Prayer Breakfast Schism of 2023, which has resulted in us needing to have two separate prayer breakfasts instead of just one. So now both sides can do something equally useless on their own
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 01, 2023
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Jesus rawdogged a hooker? And blackmailed the Pharisees into blowing him? Was this in the "Gospel according to Ohhh yeah"?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
High school musical in Ohio canceled over fears there might be some gay somewhere
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Left Behind completes the human centipede reboot cycle from Kirk Cameron to Nicholas Cage to Kevin Sorbo
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 30, 2023
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
What's the difference between a well-educated, socially aware person and a drooling moron? Let Bryan Cranston explain
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 29, 2023
(CNN)
 
 
 
What does God need with a Super Bowl ad?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 28, 2023
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Will we get a reunion of The Wire or a Creed parody? Will Update fire on all cylinders? Will the cold open mock Fox News's obsession with sexy mascots? Michael B. Jordan hosts, Lil Baby is up past bedtime as the musical guest. SNL, 11:30PM ET on NBC
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 27, 2023
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
I hereby certify that I am a horrible person, and pledge to continue being a horrible person. Oh, and if I ever end up on the pointy end of the stick, I'll cry about being oppressed
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 25, 2023
(NHL)
 
 
 
Wednesday night hockey brings us 2 exciting matchups in Stars/'Canes & Leafs/Rags. Also, will the Canucks get the dead cat bounce against the Kraken? Can the Islanders fish out some points from the Sens? How many points for McJesus? Game on @ 7pm ET
source: nhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Topless woman found next to headless Jesus
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 23, 2023
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
AI lets you talk to Hitler and Epstein. No word if it will also let you speak to the strippers, JFK and Stalin (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News Break)
 
 
 
Moderate Christians call out Greg Locke for promoting 'false gospel', otherwise known as 'Christian Nationalism'
source: original.newsbreak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 21, 2023
(Ranker)
 
 
 
Farts in mailboxes, a Jesus butt plug, and so much other drivel from NextDoor, the app that makes Twitter look like the sophisticated repartee of the Algonquin Round Table
source: ranker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 17, 2023
(National Today)
 
 
 
Judgment Day is here, so let's all join the resistance and travel back in time
source: nationaltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 16, 2023
(NYPost)
 
 
 
When you have to write the orbituary for the guy who murdered his entire family but you also know you really need to make some money with that Go Fund Me campaign linked to it
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Baby named after wife's favorite takeaway dish. Joins siblings Chicken Korma and Doner Kebab
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OnlySky)
 
 
 
Thanks to Jesus reasons, an atheist may get to show off his huge johnson right in the middle of Fort Lauderdale [NSFW]
source: onlysky.media   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 15, 2023
(MSN)
 
 
 
Young people all turning to Satanism over stuffy, old Christianity. Take that, Jesus
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 14, 2023
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Not news: guy vandalizes building. Maybe news: guy vandalizes church. News: multiple Catholic churches. Fark: gets caught right away after a low speed chase. Ultra fark: a 40 year old guy that subby knew at one point
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 10, 2023
(Ebaum's World)
 
 
 
In light of Netflix's New Kai Documentary, Here's a Storytime: Kai the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker Crashed on my Couch
source: ebaumsworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 09, 2023
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
Doctors also warn against unhinging your jaw and swallowing your old Christmas tree whole
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tackier than a pregnant woman chain-smoking or socks with sandals, Jesus Christ Chainsaw Massacre is getting a sequel
source: buzleaks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Kenneth Copeland: Only non-Christians get covid. Now buy me another jet plane
source: churchleaders.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Former Trump 'spiritual advisor' Paula White is accused of attempting to embezzle money from Journey's bank account. Just like Jesus said to do
source: retro1025.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Guns and Jesus, causing chaos in ... 1700s Japan? Three minute history lesson on how the Dutch won over isolationist Japan
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 05, 2023
(CNBC)
 
Hero
 
Biden to SCOTUS: "Listen up you Jesus freaks. I'm going to help these average Americans with their student loan debt because they deserve a hand after 40 years of policies that helped everyone but them. That's a fact, Jack"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Here it is: the greatest non-apology of all time. "Jesus forgives me for trying to serve my wife's students cupcakes that were made with my semen"
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 03, 2023
(The New Indian Express)
 
 
 
That's a surefire way to get on the naughty list
source: newindianexpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 29, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The fundamental fallacy Of "Christian Nationalism," or "Who would Jesus hate?"
source: politizoom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Tree surgeon cuts down tree to bring light to a house, brings back Jesus Christ instead
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 25, 2022
(CNN)
 
 
 
Just like good Christians, GQP drops off more asylum seekers outside of VP Harris' home in freezing temperatures with sub-zero windchill, just like Jesus would have done
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 23, 2022
(MSN)
 
 
 
Joe Biden is apparently evil because he.. didn't say "Jesus"... Huh?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
This dog just hit the "Message from God" jackpot
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Benny Hinn (who still refuses to report how much money his church makes): You can either give your heart to the church or your family. Not both
source: ng.opera.news   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 21, 2022
(PC Gamer)
 
 
 
"Jesus fun fact: A lot of his life was taken up by loading screens"
source: pcgamer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Jesus Christ, where is everyone?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 18, 2022
(Metro)
 
 
 
Three wise men at live manger scene outsmarted by three camels
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 17, 2022
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Monkey Christ vs Francesca's shepherds... FIGHT
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Nativity scene moved by city council from churchyard into empty storefront window in order to deter vandals and graffiti artists. Please don't smash baby Jesus in half and steal His face again
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 13, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The 10 people Jesus loves more than anyone else
source: wealthycelebrity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Everyone Poops
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It turns out that you don't actually need to use deodorant. Well, I mean, *you* do. Jesus Christ, your BO is something bottled and brought back from Hell's deepest swamp. But other people can get by without it, generally speaking
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Howard Stern slams Harry & Megan for being rich whiny biatches. "It's like the Kardashians except boring. You know what I mean?"
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 09, 2022
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Teacher disrupts prayer, assaults Islamic students because... Jesus
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 07, 2022
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Barstool Sports star Francis Ellis offers a fair and balanced assessment of Fox News during a hot-mike moment: "They're just trafficking in hate"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 06, 2022
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
What wood Jesus do?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 30, 2022
(Luxury Launches)
 
 
 
Jesus frowns on your greedy shenanigans
source: luxurylaunches.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman tries to open airplane door mid-flight once she realizes she's going to Ohio
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 29, 2022
(BBC)
 
 
 
Godless heathens on the rise, flood warnings imminent
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Stanford apologizes to BYU for its marching band's halftime show which featured: A) the band spelling out "Utah Sucks"? B) Playing songs from the show "Book of Mormon"? or C) a lesbian couple getting married in a traditional Mormon wedding ceremony
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 28, 2022
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
The 50 Worst Decisions in Music History. "Removing the Music tab" conspicuously absent
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 27, 2022
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Nobody killed in drive-by shooting at Nashville church. Jesus saves
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Foremost among them being, am I going to hell for doing this?
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
If dinosaurs hadn't gone extinct, Jesus might still have a reliable form of transportation
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 22, 2022
(Thread Reader)
 
 
 
As you sit down to your Thanksgiving dinner, remember to say a prayer of "Gracias" to Jesus for your meal
source: threadreaderapp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 20, 2022
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever is #1 with an impressive $66 million, Jesus' The Chosen #2 with $9 million. The Menu proves an unappetizing mess at #3 with $8 million while Black Adam rocks another $4 million at #4, Ticket to Paradise #5
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 19, 2022
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Jesus Christ, there's an upset at the box office
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 16, 2022
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Chris Evans is paying the price for having a private life, America's Ass
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 15, 2022
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Holy roller sending asylum seekers from Texas to Philadelphia on a bus as Jesus commanded. Gritty will watch over them and mold them into the leaders of tomorrow
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 11, 2022
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Every night I dream the people of Texas reject Republican fascism and live in peace, harmony and seek the common good Jesus taught. But every morning I wake to my neighbor on a Harley in a cowboy hat machine gunning "Trump" into our cul-de-sac walk
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 09, 2022
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Jesus has been verified. Suck it, atheists
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 06, 2022
(Texas Observer)
 
 
 
Texas family of pastors addresses leaving the profession: "When [my husband] said he did not think white supremacy was part of God's kingdom, the council president looked straight at him and said, 'I disagree.'"
source: texasobserver.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 04, 2022
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Swords, demons, and prophecies of death. It's not Dungeons & Dragons, it's Pennsylvania
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 03, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Jackson Lahmeyer (R-OK): If you believe in Climate Change, Jesus doesn't love you
source: wordandway.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 02, 2022
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Texas Pastor who "stepped aside" from the pulpit due to "an unwise relationship" with "a woman who is not his wife" has seen the error of his ways and "wisened up"; and plans to "step back" into the same pulpit "soon"
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 01, 2022
(Evening Gazette (UK))
 
 
 
Jesus Christ, that's Jason Bourne? Also why did he take all his clothes off
source: gazettelive.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Jesus face in a chicken tikka masala - or famous rock star Jim Morrison resurrected from the dead ...you decide
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JTA)
 
 
 
Anne Frank finds Jesus in Auschwitz? You actually wrote that? Dude...wtf?
source: jta.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 31, 2022
(San Francisco Chronicle)
 
 
 
Pelosi attack bro David DePape's ex-girlfriend: He struggled with mental illness, believed he was Jesus for a year. So definitely MAGA
source: sfchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OnlySky)
 
 
 
Christian 'prophet' Robin Bullock: Jesus was filthy rich and had 5 mansions. So give me your money, so I can be like Jesus
source: onlysky.media   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 27, 2022
(Relevant Magazine)
 
 
 
Church built a baby Jesus statue that looks remarkably like Phil Collins. No doubt specs came from the book of Genesis
source: relevantmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 22, 2022
(Christian Post)
 
 
 
People who believe in a magic old man in the sky get on the case of ex-Disney star for "practicing" magic
source: christianpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Broadcasting Network)
 
 
 
Kirk Cameron: My new movie is responsible for the reduction in abortion. Praise Jesus and pass the collection plate
source: www1.cbn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 21, 2022
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Haunted attractions in New Jersey are scaring the bejesus out of visitors. These hilarious candid photos capture the moments
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 18, 2022
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
You do know the sin of Sodom, per that Jesus guy, wasn't gay stuff but greed and failure to help the poor?
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 17, 2022
(Slate)
 
 
 
Doug Mastriano is the face of Christian nationalism, and it's terrifying
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Traitor goes local to spread his own brand of Christianity. You know, where Jesus was a white man who owned all the Samaritans or something
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"Experts" create ultra-lifelike model of Jesus Christ 'with real human hair' using Shroud of Turin. Jesus on toast impressed (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 16, 2022
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John; saddle the horse and I'll--wait a minute, we forgot about Eusebius
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 12, 2022
(Religion News Service)
 
 
 
God, Inc. has launched a $100 million ad campaign to help restore the brand image of its "Jesus" product line from the damage inflicted by its followers
source: religionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 11, 2022
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The CEO of the Promise Keepers apparently believes the Bible misquoted Jesus, who was actually a brawling tough guy
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 10, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Yes children it's once again time for that old 'If you celebrate Halloween, you're going to hell' rant. Now give that preacher all of your money, or my loving and merciful god will do bad things to you
source: countryliving.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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