headlines found matching 'Home' NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Thu March 04, 2021 |
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Inspired by the Ford Pinto of years past, new Jeeps designed to catch fire easily
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Expanded $3,000 child tax credit could help 10 million kids in poverty. Well, if they do their homework, clean their rooms, and leave mommy and her special friend alone for a little while first
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| (Vodak Rocks) |
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9 ways to use vodak to clean your home. 1) Get drunk first, 2) Get a good buzz first, 3) Get your spouse drunk first and enlist him or her
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Baker Mayfield claims to have seen a UFO on drive home from dinner. Stops them and tries to sell the insurance
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Gov. Kay Ivey (R-AL) bucks GOP downhill spiral, extends mandatory mask wearing another month to 9 April 2021. She is a cancer survivor, you know
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Rando sets fires to homes of city officials, police chief, two other cops, two relatives, two doctors, and neighbor. **Correction** "rando" is former police chief and former Major in Prince George's PD. Never change, PG county. Never change
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What's with all the naked women? Why are there so many in our homes?
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Construction in France uncovers a Roman villa dating back to 1-2 A.D
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After fences, cameras and calls to the cops failed to solve anything, neighbors took shifts standing guard over an Asian-American family targeted by racially motivated attacks. If this doesn't work Olivia Munn plans to don her Psylocke costume
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"How do I stop my 4 year-old from destroying everything in my home?"
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There's a new way to be listened to and watched from your desktop
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What a bargain. For just 3/4 of a million dollars. Luxury
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Covid cases are decreasing, except where they're not
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| Wed March 03, 2021 |
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Glowing praise for the man who saves the forgotten cats of Fukushima
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Disney CEO Bob Chapek says the genie is out of the bottle and there's no way movie releases will ever go back to the old way of doing things
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| (Some Sauce Guy) |
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March is National Sauce Month. List of favorite regional sauces to the left. Your favorites and home made sauce recipes to the right
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Man charged with possession of explosive parts, aggravated assault, possession of body armor and drugs - claims he was just trying to fix his Pinto
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The House Ethics Committee finds there is "substantial reason to believe" that GOP Rep. Steven Palazzo of Mississippi abused his office and misspent campaign funds. Bonus Irony: Rep. Palazzo was an accountant before going to Congress
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"Around 8:30 a.m., a proctor discovered what turned out to be a pipe bomb and a homemade gun, known as a zip gun, at the northeast corner of Ethel I. Baker Elementary" Another day another ... wait, a zip gun? What is this, the 50's?
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When you're so batshiat culty that even CrossFit backs away into the bushes, Homer-style
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Buzzfeed posts its most depressing listicle: how to stay fed when you're poor in America
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Meet Max, the temporary executive director of the Susquehanna SPCA. The swap sees the real director literally in the dog house to bring awareness to animals that spend extended stays in shelters. Welcome to this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
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| Tue March 02, 2021 |
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When asked about the future of oil demand, the CEOs of ARAMCO and Chevron merely touched fingertips and stated, "Excellent" while refusing to comment on the safety of the Rolling Stones
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Chalk up one more reason for the GOP to oppose virtual learning
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| (Some Guy) |
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Steve Nash had an epic reaction to being told his Nets haven't won on the Spurs' home court in twenty years 👀
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Dear workplace coach: Our employees are drinking while working from home. What can we do to eliminate their last coping mechanism and destroy any shred of happiness?
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Protip: If you are going to the probation office, leave your heroin at home
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William Byron took the checkered at Homestead, where the words "Dixie Vodka," much like Clint Bowyer, were "plastered" all over the track. Denny Hamlin tells Kyle Petty to go "royally" screw himself, and Chase Elliott proposes a Cannonball Run
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Pregnant Emily Ratajkowski poses fully nude. She's promoting a book if you care and are still here
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Some residents of Eagan, MN lose phone and internet service due to: A. snowstorm, B. windstorm, C. screaming, machete-wielding woman
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Prosecutor says it is not a crime for the neighbor of a black family to hang a flag that basically says "I hate your people so much I support an organization that wants to kill you"
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Make ME wait in Line? Talk American
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Phrasing
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Flame thrower. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every MF in the room, accept no substitutes
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US manufacturing activity jumps to 3-year high in February, since people aren't eating out much and spending money on homes and other projects
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Babushka cats - or as they say in States of United America "do-rag kitties". Your cat is annoyed & wishes you would work outside the home already
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"Honey, I brought home the roast chicken and it's really fresh"
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Cheetos residue leads to burglary charges as cops catch perpetrator orange-handed
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| Fri February 26, 2021 |
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Despite the best efforts of its own home-grown bands of racists, bigots, fascists, nationalists, insurrectionists, domestic terrorists, and other GOP operatives, Virginia is about to pass its very own Voting Rights Act
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| (Soompi) |
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Actor sent home to recover from injury while filming K-drama "Joseon Exorcist." Fortunately it wasn't a neck hyper-rotation or bile-scarred throat, just a knee bumping the set
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Dollar Tree Matthew McConaughey is the latest winner of an FBI home raid
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Something strange is afoot in Australia
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Matt Gaetz: "They were strippin' granny out of the Covid ward at the hospital, and tossin' her in the nursing home for just enough time to infect everybody, and then go back to the hospital so that deaths could be recategorized for politics"
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Cool: climbing Half Dome. Scary: skiing Half Dome
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New York residents will no longer be able to use the old Covid-19 excuse for why they can't visit grandma in her nursing home. Don't forget the hard candy
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Sea dick. Run
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Bonjour, madames et monsieurs - photograghs vintage de chats parisiens, s'il vous plaît. *accordion music plays in the background*
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Facebook sells Amazon
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Chelsea Handler goes skiing naked to celebrate body positivity and her birthday. It's all downhill from here
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CPAC is going to be a Trump homecoming and ode to hate
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| Thu February 25, 2021 |
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Well if you're working from home you won't need a company car, will you
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Middle school student refuses to take off hat because he's embarrassed by his haircut, gets sent to principal's office. Principal whips out clippers and gives student a pro cut. "Looking good and representing and presenting yourself is huge for kids"
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Levittown 2.0: Long Island welcomes first 3D-printed homes, listed for half the price of local comparables. "Listed," not "Sold"
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Nietzsche is dead--God
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Every home needs at least two refrigerators. Plus one for the adult beverages
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♩ I used to be scared, denying who I was ♫ Acting straight but then going out to the gay fish clubs ♫ Dancing with the Marlins making out with the all the Snappers ♫ I'd take a Salmon home and work that Coddle Fin for hours ♩
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Happiness is a dormouse family with its own little village
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Stray dog interrupts soccer game, gets new forever home
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E.T. was a traumatic film in and of itself, but this planned sequel would have been much worse
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"My stepdaughter's teacher has said multiple times that she feels my stepdaughter would be 'better off' at home with her mother. I feel this is overstepping on the teacher's part. Am I wrong?"
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Zillow to start making cash offers based on "Zestimate," which realtor groups have noted can vary by up to 50% from actual local market conditions. What could possibly go wrong?
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Zillow to start making cash offers based on "Zestimate," which realtor groups have noted can vary by up to 50% from actual local market conditions. What could possibly go wrong?
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NYC, couldn't you just have stuck to the generic version of coronavirus? Not everything has be homegrown
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London is being overrun by rats. This is not a repeat of 1346
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Your authority is not recognized in FORT KICKASS
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| Tue February 23, 2021 |
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Bill to increase the minimum wage to $10/hr introduced by Tom Cotton. Fark: The minimum wage in Cotton's home state of Arkansas is currently $11/hr
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Covid cases in nursing homes are on the decline, according to data not provided by Andrew Cuomo
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Should have used RealDolls
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"Rich People" purportedly using social media to share secret codes on Covid vaccination appointments intended for poor, ethnic Californians. And don't get me started on those SnowPiercer accommodations
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| (Some Guy) |
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Chinese power company cut power to tens of thousands after a man climbs utility pole to exercise, the voltage at home not being sufficient to power his crunches
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"Sometimes you say I was watching these Islamic State videos, but I was watching porn 10 minutes later"
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Summit county Ohio, home to the fifth largest city in Ohio, will be allotting Covid-19 vaccines by lottery. Feelin' lucky?
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New data reveal all of the areas where Americans live at severe risk of flood damage, and wow. Looks like a whole lot of us are going to be under water soon
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Live, from the Senate Homeland Security Committee....It's YOUR hearing on insurrections. (LGT live feed)
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It's been almost a year since "pandemic hoarding" entered our lexicon. What did you do to adapt, and are you still doing it?
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Unexpected hazard of a snow storm in Texas: getting arrested for walking home from work while Black
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Giuliani tried to dodge being served with $1 billion Dominion Voting Systems lawsuit, source says
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Quebec government, along with local foundations, is creating a permanent one-stop shop for services for the homeless. They could've saved a lot of money if they just gave them a one way ticket on the hound like they do in the US
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| Mon February 22, 2021 |
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People in San Francisco's Laguna Heights neighborhood dropped some really good acid and thought they saw a Victorian house wandering the streets. Others didn't drop any acid at all and thought the same
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Hurr durr me livestream self in Capitol doing treason because have big smart brain
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Well, the gun show was a success... for the police, AG's office
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Not to mention the huge growth in the "What it means for the economy" article written from the couch sector
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Darwin has a low opinion of homemade gender reveal explosives
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Up to 10,000 fans to return to UK stadia by mid-May, making it 9000 more than use Google Stadia
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Patrick Mahomes welcomes first child, Sterling Skye Mahomes, expected to play against Tom Brady in about 20 years
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"Ted Cruz - who remember, wants to be president - told the world he was bullied into international travel by twins, got cyberbullied into returning home, leaving his wife to parent alone in a foreign country," John Oliver rages against Fled Cruz
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Animal shelter offers pre-rolled cannabis joints to anyone who adopts a puppy. Say please don't smoke it before you leave, otherwise you'll probably forget the dog
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In some parts of San Diego county, $800,000 gets you an unfinished house, complete with local artwork
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For $5 million you can now own John Travolta's oceanic mansion in Maine. That is a phenomena of a price
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Health-mad mum doesn't understand the first thing about going to McDonald's for eating healthy after turning her Big Mac into a salad
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Texan loses electricity for four days, powers his home with his Ford truck
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"He ding-dong-ditches your house, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the SFPD way"
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| Fri February 19, 2021 |
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We Wish Wandering Wet Wyandotte Wall Wackers Would Walk...or maybe call a cab
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It's the "go home" show before Sunday's Elimination Chamber: Cesaro, Daniel Bryan & K.O. vs Jey, Sami & Corbin. Will Bianca & Sasha force Reginald to pick them a good wine to watch this with? What is Kalisto doing? Find out starting at 8 PM ET on FOX
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For the truly lazy...an RV with a second floor, and built-in elevator to get up there. What will they think of next?
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"Fast-Track Your Tofu." Yes, Bon Appetit is here to ruin both work and lunch
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Sen. Zodiac tells Snowflake to suck it up buttercup
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Cancun was not the first time Cruz took the family on an out-of-country vacation during a public crisis
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Article reveals the best ways to reheat pizza, but the genius hack is how to store leftover pizza
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Someone is stalking Billie Eilish, presumably Dionne Warwick
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In a brilliant legal maneuver, Capitol rioter Suzanne Kaye, 58, filmed herself drinking cinnamon Jack Daniels and citing her "Second Amendment right to shoot the FBI's f*cking ass" if they come to her house
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Mum comes home to find huge Tibetan mastiff lounging on her couch that her teenage daughter bought online without her knowledge, sadly the giant dog is back online seeking a human who can handle his size
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Zodiac admits that Cancun-gate was "obviously a mistake" as he returns home greeted by protestors calling for his resignation, according to that left wing rag...Fox News? (Bonus: He's still blaming his daughters)
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In the '60s and '70s, historic San Francisco Victorian homes had their facades covered up with siding. Now their owners are paying big bucks to have them restored
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Woman's pregnancy ends much as it began, with her asking to get plowed
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| Wed February 17, 2021 |
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Hell of a day to go swimming, I tell ya
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New York Fed says the pandemic led to a U.S. housing boom and reduced credit card debt. As long as you kept your job of course
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A normal season has 17 teams in the MASL. This year, 10 have opted not to play. Of the 7 clubs left, some could not play at home
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Nothing like a candlelight bath on Valentine's day. In a stranger's home
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Toto safely returns home from Oz
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Italian town issued 'stay at home' warning after Mafia don's enormous black panther escapes looking to whack any rivals in its way
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So, like every other weekend but with a bit of Catherine the Great tossed in?
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You know you're doing some fine police work Louise when you go to an illegal boozy lockdown party then try driving home drunk and crashing into a house
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Not the most important part of the story but aren't all igloos homemade?
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Police, who had responded to the scene, said the couple had trouble explaining the $1,300 of stolen merchandise from Home Depot, Bed Bath & Beyond, Giant Eagle, Macy's, DICK's Sporting Goods, Target, and Walmart which was found in their car
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Texas mayor resigns after telling citizens seeking assistance during power outage "your lazy" and "the strong will survive and the week will perish," though he claims his comments were taken out of context
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New York sues Amazon for COVID-19 workplace safety failures, which, when you think about it, is a pretty good way of distracting from the governor's failures in accurately reporting COVID-19 nursing home deaths
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British manor home gets filled with wasps, and not the good kind. If there is a good kind
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San Francisco to invest $27 million in program to boost homeownership, creating as many as three new homeowners
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Incomplete pass by Chiefs' Patrick Mahomes makes NFL list of season's top 100 plays
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Police help track down runaway emu in Utah town, says officer Rod Hull
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How you dress when you work at home can affect your productivity level. Right, so just wearing boxers doesn't get much done?
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Get high on growing your own mushrooms
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| (Prevention) |
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Okay my dudes. By now, everything is a symptom. Why even ask anymore? Here's the new test. Ya think it's a Thing? Then it's a Thing. Stay home
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| Thu February 11, 2021 |
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In career-limiting move, Reuters reporter travels from England to Japan and immediately brings mutant strain of coronavirus to party. "I broke Japanese guidelines and went out. I only went to that pub once"
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Man sent to the hospital after one of his homemade bombs went all explodee
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The solution here is to share with your delivery person and make a friend for life
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Finnish snow-shoeing group puts your snow angels to shame
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Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger is finding out home recording can pay off
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The right way to reincarnate cold and soggy fries
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Do you have any of these vintage video games at hiding at home? They could be worth a fortune (possible nsfw content on page)
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Angry Lindsey Graham says Capitol attackers should have been met with deadly force
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Pepsi is the real thing
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Meanwhile in Canada, a town is rocked by scandal
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This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy had roast beef, and this little piggy had its torn plantar plate successfully surgically repaired
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Protip: Avoid domestic disputes if you have a marijuana grow-op in your home
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Homeowner finds secret pasta sauce recipe hidden in garage from 1947, the same year as the Roswell UFO incident. There are no coincidences
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Tom Brady vs Patrick Mahomes, find out who will win the rematch, this spring 2021
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Mail-in sperm testing system is just as reliable as tests performed in clinic settings. The only drawback is not to get caught posting your sample
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Own your home? You're living in a bubble. Again
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How to make a McDonald's Shamrock Shake at home, courtesy of the Irish Post
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Cara Dune died on the way back to her home planet, which was already destroyed by the first Death Star
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| Wed February 10, 2021 |
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There's a new bounty hunting app available to the general public. What could possibly go wrong?
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DC homeowners and construction workers chase off car thieves by throwing rocks, making noise, opening their coats to look bigger
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All the ladies say there ain't nothin' better than good hard wood
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Dad took us fishing and all we caught was this lousy kangaroo
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Dallas Mavs owner Mark Cuban has not been playing the Star Spangled Banner before home games. The NBA: You will play it from here on
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Cab-over Pete with a reefer on And a Jimmy haulin' hogs
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"I'll take 'Who's suits were donated to homeless shelter so residents can go to job interviews?' for $500"
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They were looking for Devin Nunes
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What they really meant to say is "bitporn"
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Cisco faces uncertainties as people don't wear thongs when working from home
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| (Some Guy) |
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With their numbers halved in past 25 years, plans to save the UK swifts are moving quickly
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Heineken cutting 8,000 jobs after sales hammered by more folks getting hammered at home
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"Every time I ask my daughter if she's done with her homework, she says that she is. Yet every time, she is not, and when I quiz her she winds up crying. How can I get her to change her habits?"
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Cisco CEO says managers are tired of not being able to micromanage their employees
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After couple couldn't find commercial-grade kitchen for catering company, they built their own in their home garage. When Covid came, their "garage paella" became popular pickup and to-go item
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Maybe you didn't grow up in the first house on your street to have color TV, or cable, or a video game system, or a computer, or whatever, but hey, "first house on your street to have a drive-through" is still available
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It took 13 home games for people to realize the Dallas Mavericks stopped playing the national anthem before games
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| Tue February 09, 2021 |
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Remember being in elementary school and sneaking out of the house at night? Good times
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The groundhog has spoken, and he's foreseen another 36 weeks of racing. Busch Clash at Daytona ON THE ROAD COURSE with no practice. Clownshoes commence at 7pm ET on FS1
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Toecutter meeting with Patrick Mahomes tomorrow. No word if Nightrider or Sprog Rockatansky will also be there
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Randy Johnson's home security system: (a) 24/7 camera surveillance, (b) armed security patrol, (c) a moat filled with alligators, or (d) a bag of baseballs under his bed, to throw at intruders
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After a 17-month, 3000ml journey, this sea eagle is Wight at home
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Jim Weatherly, writer of 'Midnight Train to Georgia' , dies at 77. Fun fact: The song was originally called "Midnight Plane to Houston" as a country song
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Dad builds luge track in family's backyard for kids to sled on
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Have a look inside a Staten Island home that has a "pink floating staircase," a "cotton ball river" and a sunken living room that leads to a paradise bar. Very Staten Island
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Working from home can lead to health risks, and we're not just talking about the normal ones associated with day drinking, Cheeto overdoses, and Chronic Embarrassment Syndrome from always forgetting you're pantless on webcam
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Man goes to Taco Bell, claims he's armed, demands 3 tacos. "The attempt to get the tacos didn't work out well for the suspect"
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"Rhiley Morrison ate the small magnetic balls to see if metal objects would stick to his stomach and to see how they looked when he pooped them out"
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Oh boy, just what I've always wanted...a mobile office van so I can take my work with me when I go on a road trip
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Police warn homeowner that an armed fugitive is in the area. Homeowner gets his own gun for protection. Police then surround the homeowner's property, kill him when he matches the description for the criminal and doesn't drop his weapon in time
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| (Some Guy) |
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Protip: Don't play Russian roulette with an automatic pistol
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I don't want to wait for our lives to be over
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How to make the best pizza at home. Step one: Take the Lozza Mozza out of the wrapper and put it in the oven
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"My partner says it's off-putting that I stare into people's homes. Isn't that just normal?"
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MLB, mid 1990's home run surge: "we haven't juiced the balls, we swear, it's a statistical anomaly." MLB, 2/8/21: "yeah, the recent home run surge; we're going to deaden the balls"
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| Fri February 05, 2021 |
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Snail noodles and huge vats of bubble tea are helping China's KFC get through
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Rashida Tlaib gets emotional discussing the death threats she and her family have received from believers in QAnonsense like Marjorie Greene
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Wendy's giving away jr bacon cheeseburgers in February, but they're obviously prepared for Homer Simpson
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The Biden Administration to use the Defense Production Act to ramp up production of the Pfizer vaccine. Yay, leadership
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So, the moral of this story is, if you ARE going to participate in a riot, don't show up drunk and an hour late for your bus ride back home. It might annoy one of your fellow passengers enough that they drop a dime on you to the FBI
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Dummies' case for air fryers to the left. Home chefs, who only use duck fat from Serbia and ferment their own soybeans, telling you how they're a gimmick to the right. Smart cooks who use countertop convection ovens appropriately -- yer out of luck
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Have access to a Cisco Small Business VPN router? You're not the only one
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Article reveals details of photograph Stanley Tucci has of his late wife and current wife posing together at event some years back. Difficulty: doesn't actually show photograph
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Chipotle CFO says the idea for drive-thru was 'controversial' at first. But then he remembered how much people enjoy their home fields when the game gets quickly sloppy
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Nigella: I've learned to become more 'guarded.' Subby: is that why you won't return my calls? Or emails? Or texts? Or manly-scented perfumed notes? Or tins of muffins?
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Not gonna be antimaskers that kill us. It's gonna be the creamed-corn-eaters who need their grandkids to show them how to use their phone
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'Collapsologists' now living entirely off the land by having no bills, no mortgage, and an endless supply of homegrown grub in case civilization crumbles because of the coronavirus pandemic
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Constructing a "supercurry" from 43 different Japanese curries. It's homemade curry, but not as we know it
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Jesus is my scrubbing bubbles
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Jesus is my scrubbing bubbles
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| (Mr. Ed) |
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"Her hands were covered in blood. She was hysterical and could barely talk," said [her] mother. "All I could get out of her was, 'They fell through the ice and I had to save them. I had to save them"
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In Today's "Weird or Cool from Japan": In 24 hours, it can build you a house for the p | | |
