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headlines found matching 'Hey'
Tue June 19, 2018
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Canadian member of parliament calls for ban on "disgusting" clothing and flags promoting cannabis, fearing they will become more prevalent after marijuana is legalized and that the items would disrespect Canada Day and the country's veterans
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 18, 2018
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Trump catamite Steve Doocy: They're not cages, they're uh... uh... freedom hutches. Yeah, that's the ticket
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Naked Security)
 
 
 
It's surprising how many trolls forget that if Twitter knows who they are, the police can find out too
source: nakedsecurity.sophos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Couple raising 14 boys say they have no regrets, clean socks
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Overacheiver)
 
 
 
Prison time for community college student of the year. Don't they usually just give a plaque or scholarship?
source: capebretonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Cohen was on the take of that Korean aerospace company for 6 months last year. In that time they failed to disclose they were subjects of a massive corruption investigation and won their largest US government contract
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cinema Blend)
 
 
 
Last year Zack Snyder fans were petitioning Warner Brothers to release his likely nonexistent cut of "Justice League." Since the merger between AT&T and Time Warner was approved, they've decided it's AT&T Customer Service's problem now
source: cinemablend.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Then they came for the naturalized citizens
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Tan Cougar ready to get rid of the face eating leopards
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mexicans were celebrating their victory over Germany so hard they caused a literal earthquake today in the capital city
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
What would you advise someone to add should they be seeking to compile a "melancholy" playlist?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
State media sees glorious leader everywhere they look
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Senators Collins and Flake are worried about separating children from their parents. Not enough to work with Democrats, but they wrote a letter expressing their concern
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 17, 2018
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The current defense has moved to "Of course we met with the Russians, but they asked for too much money for the dirt on Hillary"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
NASA deliberately de-rezzed and blurred video images from the moon before showing them to the public, although they say it was to keep the Russians from knowing about their spy satellite capability and not to hide the presence of alien moon bases
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlas Obscura)
 
 
 
Because they just taste great
source: atlasobscura.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 16, 2018
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
No whey? Whey
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Polygon)
 
 
 
"Cyberpunk 2077" will include full nudity for a very important reason ... because hey, nudity
source: polygon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rising Apple)
 
 
 
Mets starters have MLB's best earned run average since May 20 at 2.60 - so of course they're 8-17 in that stretch
source: risingapple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The next global plague is upon us ..and our world is sooooo unprepared for it. Except for ditchdiggers, they're always ready
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Childless Guy)
 
 
 
Parents absolutely astounded at the idea that they might be financially responsible for their unsupervised brat destroying a $132,000 sculpture
source: wmar2news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Coin)
 
 
 
SEC currently treating cryptocurrencies as MMORPG auction houses. But they could become soulbound at any moment
source: coindesk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 15, 2018
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Man accused of killing, robbing woman then going to casino to stand trial." Since when do they have courtrooms in casinos?
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox News attempts to figure out what's happening given that they have to keep their lips firmly applied to Trump's ass. Who can they blame for Trump's stupidity today? Looks like it's Paul Ryan's turn to take a beating
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Have you heard the good news? Roseanne loves you and you are forgiven
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
FBI obtained "731 pages of Signal and WhatsApp messages" from Cohen's phone. Also, they have call logs
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Illinois State Journal-Register)
 
 
 
"They go for your jugular," says Georgia grandmother who killed a rabid bobcat with her bare hands
source: sj-r.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BGR)
 
 
 
Scientists discover stardust on Earth older than our Sun. Still unclear when the visiting alien's spacecraft arrived, or when they'll attack
source: bgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Sorry millennials, just because Congress is able to save Social Security and Medicare for your future well-being doesn't mean they're going to
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Hey, hey, hey. Bill Cosby has fired his entire legal team
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Pixar's movies ranked worst to first. A few Up way higher than they should be
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Due to record low unemployment, businesses can't find the cheap workers that they want
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Hey everybody, Trump's in charge. Time to make money off of torturing crying children. Maybe we'll even whore some of them out. Yaaaaaay Jesus
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Company overcharges you, police say that's a civil matter. Unable to pay that overcharge because they cuffed you, you're a criminal
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Swingers club wins right to stay open longer after parents complained they could not attend as they couldn't get babysitters
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
 
 
Scientists suggest that to jumpstart life on Mars, we should take our deep-sea bacteria and jettison it onto the Red Planet ahead of time, where they will evolve into Martians and simultaneously create oxygen for future Martians
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Spy)
 
 
 
A whopping 44% of The Walking Dead fans say they'll walk once Rick is off the show
source: digitalspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 14, 2018
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Officials say the large network of tunnels under Lehi High School in Lehi, Utah will be demolished as they renovate the school. No word on whether the Hellmouth will remain open, however
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
Hidden cameras were used to record car dealers badmouthing electric vehicles. It's as if they make the their money on oil changes, spark plug, coolant flushes, and other services that electric cars don't need
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Five reasons Wall Street isn't freaking out. #6, They've shorted and are just waiting for the splash
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Planetary Society)
 
 
 
Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency has a spacecraft in an asteroid field and they are going closer to one of the bigger rocks. Never tell the the odds and never tell them that it is a repeat from yesterday's headline as it is a different spacecraft
source: planetary.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
How hard is it for the White House to find anyone willing to work there? Let's put it this way: They're holding an "Executive Branch Job Fair" this Friday, and are really hoping to find someone to fill Hope Hick's job and dozens of others
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Sandhill Cranes appear to dance in sync with Ed Sheeran song. More likely they were having seizures
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
In April Trump dramatically ordered US troops to "the border". What have they been doing since they got there? "In one assignment, soldiers are actually feeding and shoveling out manure from the stalls of the Border Patrol's horses"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Trump yells angrily with a red face which is a sure sign that he's innocent, like when all children yell and scream and stomp their feet. You know they didn't punch their sister. She's lying
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
The Washington Redskins have announced that they no longer have a 200,000-person waiting list to buy season tickets. So, you know, if you want tickets, they're available. So, um, do you want tickets? You can buy them. Please? Please buy them
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW)
 
 
 
Nike won't supply shoes to the Iranian World Cup team because they're terrified of an angry tweet from you know who
source: dw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Trump returns salute to Best Korea general. Wait for the right wing rage. Just wait for the right wing rage. Okay. Wait for the sounds of crickets. Yes, there they are
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newschannel 9)
 
 
 
You know how they say your average pedophile looks like the nice guy next door? Not this guy
source: newschannel9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
7 Utah teens injured when the car they were riding in went off the road on a steep curve. Look at the size of the car involved and you'll pretty much understand what led to the accident
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Kids find two "Pokemon balls" lying on ground, take them home to parents, who didn't know what they were either, so they left them on front porch, went inside. Detonation ensues
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FIFA)
 
 
 
Can Russia make it out of the group stage? Will either they or Saudi Arabia win the group? Should Egypt and Uruguay also be playing today? It's Day 1 of the World Cup. Kickoff is at 11:00 a.m. EDT on Fox Sports
source: fifa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Unlike the Philadelphia Eagles, most of the Washington Capitals players would go to the White House if they are invited
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VT Digger)
 
 
 
Librarians are the secret masters of the world. They control information. Don't ever piss one off. This means you, Equifax
source: vtdigger.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleeping Computer)
 
 
 
Hey Cortana, I know Windows 10 is locked and everything but could you run this malicious code for me?
source: bleepingcomputer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Vermont inn workers eat marijuana edibles guests left behind and no charges. They weren't supposed to eat them. The inn is retraining them. Carry on, America. This is how it is done
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Pizzagate and QAnon conspiracy theorists say they've been validated by the DOJ. Well, looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Trump administration moving forward on tent city for separated immigrant children. So it will be just like camp. Hopefully the kids can find some distractions so they don't concentrate too much
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Alright, stay with us on this one: The Illuminati has developed a "heart attack gun" and they tested it on Larry Kudlow because he needs to die for their plans to work
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today I learned millennials have killed moping. They've rebranded it "simping" and apparently organize playlists to accompany their simping sessions
source: studybreaks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 13, 2018
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Cemetery swears they know where mom's headstone is, it's like, very heavy and couldn't have gone far
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spin Magazine)
 
 
 
Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan has seen a naked shapeshifter on more than one occasion in his paranormal encounters, still won't say they were lovers
source: spin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Sure, when a volcano fires out green things they're called gems, when I do it out of my nose, I'm called gross
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
In a move that surely only shows the increasing strength of the NRA, the group is scrubbing their website of past grades for lawmakers because they are totally irrelevant and not because they are being used against them or anything
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Planetary Society)
 
 
 
NASA has a spacecraft in an asteroid field and they are going closer to one of the bigger rocks. Never tell them the odds
source: planetary.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Finally an article that everyone can relate to: What 8 people wish they knew before retiring in their 20s and 30s
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Charlotte School of Law students had a unique educational experience, attending the first law school to lose accreditation and the first to lose student loan eligibility. Yet they are strangely dissatisfied
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
White House to block Senate from blocking ZTE deal on the grounds that they really, really like bribe money
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Literary Hub)
 
 
 
What are cows saying when they moo? Other than warning each other not to stand on two legs when a car approaches
source: lithub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
With Brexit looming, Britain's biggest pub chain forced to cancel all future orders for German beer, Italian wine and French champagne - which they plan to replace with "sparkling wines from the UK"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Major broadband ISPs pinky-swear that they have no plans to limit or throttle broadba
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military.com)
 
 
 
Hey, it's been four weeks. Let's check and see how Trump's latest VA Secretary pick is doing: "People call him Forrest Gump"
source: military.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Trump is simply the GOP's Obama. Or at least who they claimed Obama was
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Trump Congratulates Corey Stewart, One of "the very fine people" that organized the Charlottesville, neo-Nazi rally, for winning the VA GOP Senate primary. VA GOP officials are..less enthusiastic: "Every time I think things can't get worse they do"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 12, 2018
(USA Today)
 
 
 
If they wanted ancient dust, they could have just looked behind my couch. Space dust trifecta complete
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Free snacks at work could be bad for you, experts believe. Of course they'd be just as bad if you paid for them, too
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Researcher study 160 million memes and find out they mostly come from /pol/ and r/The_Donald. Now we just have to nuke the sources
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Weekly)
 
 
 
"WORLD-RECORD ORGY ATTEMPT FALLS SHORT IN LAS VEGAS"...Funny, they told me size didn't matter
source: lasvegasweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
20 ways to stay warm in a cold office. Sadly, they just missed the blackjack by omitting "put on a jacket and tie" like the people sweating their gender neutral privates off
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
Hey, your clear soda is called Not See Kola. Very funn-- Wait a minute. And there's an eagle on the label? Really?
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
SF's new public toilet designs will solve all the problems of a public toilet. Just kidding, they made it a shiny tube
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Trump says, I learned a lot about North Korea today. In fact, I now know more about North Korea than I do America. At least in North Korea, you can execute people when they call you stupid
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Not only will the upcoming World Cup feature video replay, they will also allow handheld devices for tactics
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Facebook feature is triggering people and making them really miserable as it reminds them of painful moments and all the cringeworthy things they did in the past. Thanks a lot Mark Zuckerberg, you heel
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
"I may stand before you in six months and say, 'Hey I was wrong,'" said Trump, before adding, "I don't know that I'll ever admit that, but I'll find some kind of an excuse"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(XKCD)
 
 
 
Hey, Randall started posting What-Ifs again
source: what-if.xkcd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man, I'll tell you, the day they passed out good luck, ol' Bo must've been fishing
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Not news: KISS has started selling KISS toilet seats. News: They haven't been selling them for years already?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
This person ate everything they wanted for a day. This is what happened
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Rand Paul didn't think the leopards would eat his face, and it's even worse now that they've got nuclear capabilities
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
They'd better add some chicken nuggets to the menu or Donald is going to be hangry
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 11, 2018
(Google)
 
 
 
I just realized that they wore rainbow armbands on the original Buck Rogers television show. I had no idea the Gay Agenda went back that far. How long have they been programming us?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
State Dept Spokeswoman, the same one who cited "D-Day" as an example of the US' "long and Strong" relationship with Germany, tries to troll CNN for not covering the President's briefing at the US embassy in Singapore-which was closed to the press
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Apparently, UbiSoft thinks they've built enough trust back that gamers will be interested in The Division 2
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
California Republicans apparently think "If my opponent gets elected, they will try to give you universal health insurance" is an effective line of attack in Novemeber. Good luck with that, guys
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
The Nigerian Prince Scam, has been around for so long that it has become a cliche. But the reason that scammers keep doing the same thing is that they're making money at it
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Until they stop having stories like this, cryptocurrencies are a joke
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Putin says he's willing to rejoin the group that banned him after invading Crimea, if they ask real politely
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
How bad is the English cricket team these days? Well, they just lost to Scotland
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 10, 2018
(Sporting News)
 
 
 
LeBron James says free agency depends on his family. Meaning asking them which part of Los Angeles they would like to move to
source: sportingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MovieWeb)
 
 
 
Good News: Leaked scene description shows Star Wars 9 won't copy scenes from previous Star Wars films. Bad News: They've moved on to copying from other Lucasfilm franchises
source: movieweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
In a two thousand year-old controversy, were Jesus' feet tied or nailed to the cross? And, did Jesus really say, "Jesus Christ that hurts" when they were nailing his feet to the cross?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 09, 2018
(CNN)
 
 
 
There is no law that says your local pharmacy has to fax a prior authorization to your doctor to make sure you get the life saving medications you need, but the Massachusetts State Supreme Court says that they should probably do that anyway. Probably
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Vegan and veggie meals sold at Tesco found to contain pork, turkey. Which explains why they actually tasted good
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Pulse)
 
 
 
It's time to up our spice game, fellow Americans. Today we will stand up and say NO to big spice, NO to plain ol' black pepper, and YES to all the flavors and all the peppers they've been hiding from us for too long
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
8-year old boy becomes youngest person to climb 450 ft high Old Man of Hoy sea stack, raises money for cancer charity and makes his terminally ill mum proud. His brass balls will be enormous when they eventually drop
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
David Simon's Twitter account suspended after he tells a Trump supporter that they "should die of a slow moving venereal rash that settles in your lying throat", among other things. Which are also funny
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 08, 2018
(The Big Lead)
 
Boobies
 
Caps win Stanley C-cups (NSFW)
source: thebiglead.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Texas finds that there aren't enough Americans to fill all the jobs available there. They're trying to find a way to fix this, but they keep hitting a wall
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Son: Hey dad, I'm running for Congress and you're pretty popular with the kids, how about an endorsement. Dad: No
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Why more and more white Americans are opposing all government welfare programs -- even the ones they themselves may benefit from. Spoiler alert: They're racist
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
If Democrats want to start winning elections, perhaps they should try voting
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Finally, Army scientists do something useful: They've discovered the algorithm for the right amount of coffee needed to ensure your day is pleasant
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Last week's news: Good guys Waymo buy American and buy green by ordering 62,000 Chrysler hybrids.... in this week's news, it turns out they get a $465 million tax credit for doing that
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Milwaukee Brewers players re-create hitchhiker scene from Dumb and Dumber in a bullpen cart
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 07, 2018
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
"High Times" is looking to shed its stoner image by becoming more... hey, are those Cheetos?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
French President Emmanuel Macron to Trump: Hey President Dotard, you know the G7 can be the G6
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
In which the last part of the headline justifies the first: "Trump didn't invite Muslim groups to his Iftar dinner, but they say they wouldn't have gone anyway"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
It's time once again to open the Social Security lockbox. Hey, the only thing in here is some jelly beans and this betamax cassette labeled "Police Squad"
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
More than 20 people escape a fire on the roof of a Burger King. Why they were on the roof of a Burger King not explained
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Judge Jeanine Pirro was offered the Deputy AG job, Sessions balked, WH said to give her a hearing or they'll put her on SCOTUS
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Oh no, they say he's got to go, go go Trumpzilla. Deploy Unit-01 and prepare for the worst, this is YOUR Joint Press Conference with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe (LGT C-SPAN @ nowhere near 1400 Eastern Derp Time)
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Democrats sue Trump, saying he hasn't gotten approval for his foreign emoluments. Trump lawyers respond by pointing out that those Congressmen can vote to give their approval whenever they want and that their client has the worst farking lawyers
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Trump has made 191 different arguments against the Russian investigation and they all conflict with each other
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Koch Brothers realize they made a huge mistake getting Trump elected as the tariffs will cost them millions. They've officially declared war
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
It's election day in Ontario, and voters wish they had someone as qualified as either a turd sandwich or giant douche to support
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Fark: "Hey, Finland." ... *fistbump*
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 06, 2018
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Thanks to Brexit, EU businesses are being advised to treat British-made parts the same way as they would treat their dentistry practices or recipe ideas
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Elections are not about the "win-loss score". Ummm wait isn't that exactly what they are about?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
U.S. Air Force airlifting 6 Guatemalan children to Galveston, Texas, for medical treatment due to injuries sustained during the eruption of the Fuego Volcano in Guatemala. Afterwards they'll be transferred to an abandoned Walmart
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Tired of shovelware and offensive titles polluting its store, Steam plans to crack down on quality control amongst the titles it sells. Just kidding, they're doing the exact opposite
source: steamed.kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
A growing list of U.S. diplomats acting undiplomatically. I wonder where they're taking their cue from
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Trump already planning to invite Kim to Mar-a-Lago for their second date, where they can bond over cheating at golf
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump thinks we need tariffs against Canada because the burned down the White House in War of 1812 (Narrator: they didn't)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Cockroaches love the cheesy, creamy smell of ear wax which is why they keep crawling up your ears
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
In other news, they both had pureed carrots for lunch, need a diaper change, and it's about their nap time
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Netflix is creating an anthology series about Dolly Parton. They expect to get mounds of support
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
They didn't find my JNCOs. I am inconsolable
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 05, 2018
(Comic Book)
 
 
 
DC so confident of the upcoming success of 'Teem Titans Go To The Movies', they're resorting to outright bribery to get butts in seats
source: comicbook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Cannabis fever grips Japan, comparable to the reefer madness that gripped America in days gone by. Professional: "I used to go in for harder drugs, but lately, those either don't work or else they kill you. With marijuana, you needn't worry"
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
FL DOT thinks that drunk drivers who are driving the wrong way on interstates will be able to read signs telling them they're going the wrong way
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
The cloud, it's just somebody else's computer. And when they shut it down, you lose access to your Guitar Hero Live songs (thanks Activision)
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Mitch McConnell cancels August recess. Now they have another month to not pass anything at all
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
I'm not saying people with Rh-negative blood are aliens, but they're aliens (possible nsfw content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Hey-o yippee ki-yay: 'Drunken and disorderly' woman charged with drinking bottle of wine while riding horse to bottle-o at local pub
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(France 24)
 
 
 
FIFA files criminal complaint against secondary ticket firm Viagogo. The whole world is hoping they both lose and receive record fines
source: france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Fox News producer apologizes for the "error" of deliberately showing Eagles' players kneeling in prayer while insinuating they were kneeling in protest
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Intel speculates that maybe they should just stick with 8086 processors, this is not a repeat of 40 years ago
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Putin brags that he talks to his agent in America, almost every night and that they have a very close relationship
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Know someone with Alzheimer's? Send them to France. They are building an Alzheimer's Village, where patients are "free ranged"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
Why are all those men waving flags at me? Is it a parade? They're wearing pretty orange vests. Hey, barricades, it is a parade. I'm gonna text all my friends. AHHHHHHHHHHH (with pics)
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Curiosity found something interesting on Mars, but NASA won't say what until Thursday. Which is pretty much what you'd expect from NASA if they were about to announce finding a colony of Martian lizard people. Just sayin
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Disney to lose $50mm on Solo, but hey, at least they made Lando pansexual, and who can put a price on that?
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Why? Why are they going to remake Cannonball Run?
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 04, 2018
(CBC)
 
 
 
"They are like the cockroaches of this biosphere. You will never destroy a dude on his bicycle with a cellphone delivering weed''
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Yankees feel ESPN hates them for putting them in primetime July 8, threatens to boycott all interviews surrounding Sunday Night Baseball if they keep getting special treatment from the Worldwide Leader in Sports
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Best childhood friends find out five decades later that they are actually sisters after DNA tests
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Southwest bookings fall after fatal accident. Because, you know, United flies the exact same plane with the exact same engines but they are United so it can't happen there
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
If the U.S.A. were invaded by the UK and they took over, would you have a problem or would you be okay with it?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Family can't necessarily make you crazy, but they can drive you there
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Department store finds that if you offer customers better service than they can get at Amazon, people might actually shop there
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Jon Stewart takes time away from rescuing animals in NJ to defend Samantha Bee against BULLSH*T MOUNTAIN: "They don't give a sh*t about the word 'c-,'"
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Someone alerted Fox News that white cops are affected by the opioid crisis, and suddenly they care a great deal about victims of this horrific health epidemic
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Airlines doing what they know best, killing pets
source: www-m.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump's ambassador to Germany: Hey, anti-establishment, anti-government types in Europe. We want to help you work against your governments. Scary tag in lieu of WTAF tag
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
If Democrats win the House, they shouldn't impeach Trump
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 03, 2018
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
Turns out, cutting drug offenders off from food doesn't have a rehabilitative effect. It just makes them commit more crimes so they can get food
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Arby's publishes new funny font with a saucy name, cause that's how they roll, sans pretension
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delish.com)
 
 
 
On the bright side, they already have ready access to medical care
source: delish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Federal law requires unions to support all federal employees, whether they're members of the union or not. President Trump's EO bans unions from supporting employees during work hours. Better believe that's a suin'
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 02, 2018
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Kennedy Center announces the release of $10 tickets for the upcoming run of Hamilton aaaand they're gone
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
It's a Florida mystery. Someone keeps mailing these Florida people $8000 in cash and they want to put a stop to it
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
Dalton GA couple robbed at gunpoint in driveway of their home. How lucky were these thieves when they found out the woman was wearing $20,000 worth of jewelry. Who knew?
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Maybe the thinking is "It takes a polluter to stop a polluter" ... naw, they're just a bunch of farking idiots out to grift the country for everything that can get before the gig is up
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
Yeah about the German zoo's 'escaped big cats' that were causing mass hysteria, they never left their cages
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Oh wait, they're serious... let me laugh even harder
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Equestria Daily)
 
 
 
The CMCs want to join the School of Friendship even they are the best of friends already. Do they want to run a secret cookie bakery out of the basement? Find out on My Little Pony - Marks for Effort this Saturday on Discovery Family at 11:30am ET
source: equestriadaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
GOP moderates are revolting and hey, haven't we done this joke to death already?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
5 4-week-old kittens are rescued after 2 people spot 1 cat carrier left in 90° heat on the side of I-495. Nicknamed the 495-5, they require 4 weeks of bottle feeding. This story reported by channel 5. I was told there would be no math on Caturday
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hey, remember all of the joking that they should just keep Roseanne going except do the old Valerie Harper thing and call it "Roseanne's Family"? Well, that may not be a joke anymore
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
"I elect presidents. They want to destroy me," says a clearly delusional Jim Bakker
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 01, 2018
(The Hill)
 
 
 
A Koch Brothers-funded PAC is readying an ad blitz in support of Democratic Senator Heidi Heitkamp to thank her for supporting the Dodd-Frank rollback bill...weeks after they spent $500K on ads attacking her for her tax bill vote
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You mean if foreign governments know the President is dumb enough to use an unsecured cell phone they will plant listening devices near the White House? Get the hell outta here
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Moody's: you know those securities backed by risky mortgages we said were okay back in 2007 and it turned out they were totally bad? Well, they're baaaaaack
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Knife violence is soaring in the UK, but don't worry: This judge says they can lower it by making it illegal to sell knives with a point. Or a sharp blade. Really. No, I'm not making this u--look, stop laughing--that's really what he said
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Legendary farkup J.R. Smith forced overtime for his Cavaliers while holding the ball because he thought they were ahead, here's how eight announcers in three languages called it
source: screengrabber.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
We asked people to describe the drunkest they've ever been in just 6 words. Surprisingly, the word Farker never appears
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
HuffPo doxes racist twitter troll. Racist enraged that they did this. Even though HuffPo pointed out that she'd doxed herself several times over the years
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada serves up sass and $16.6B in tariffs: "We will continue to make arguments based on logic and common sense and hope that eventually they will prevail against an administration that doesn't always align itself around those principles"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
People have thoughts on why they love "Cowboy Bebop"
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 31, 2018
(AL.com)
 
 
 
If you think the Meth you recently purchased might be contaminated with the Zika Virus, just bring it to the Police Department and they will test it for free
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Annoyed by the 'know-it-alls' in your life who are convinced they're always right? Take comfort in the fact that research shows they're actually less informed about the world than their peers
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
$4 to cover 1% of the damages the cop were responsible for after shooting a black man through his own garage door, then finding the gun they said he aimed at them was in his back pocket
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Officials in districts that are expected to be the closest races in the country are concerned about the security of their outdated and paperless voting machines; but the manufacturer insists that once they're upgraded to Windows ME, they'll be fine
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
New scam targets Catholics, by asking them to give money to . . . hey, waitaminute
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
A gas price protest sputtered to a stop when only one solitary protester showed up, despite 5,000 people saying they would attend. Fark: Even the organizer didn't show up
source: montreal.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
"Black Panther" stuntman covers rent money for family of fruit vendors beaten & robbed at gas station. Now if they can find an Infinity Gauntlet for the perps
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Study: White Americans support social programs that would help them...until they find out black people might also benefit from those same programs
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Former CIA directors can't agree on much, but they can agree Trump's conspiracy theories are as insane as anything they've ever seen
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Sure, Putin is a mafia thug but he hates the ghey so that makes him totally christian and not at all something we should worry about
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The world's biggest child to the media: Hey, where's MY apology?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 30, 2018
(Splinter News)
 
 
 
Rudy Giuliani on being booed in baseball stadium:"Yankee fans boo you when they love you"
source: splinternews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTW Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
South Carolina Lottery announces that tickets are only a mistake when they're winners
source: wbtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Cruces Sun-News)
 
 
 
If a Facebook post directs you to a pile of onions in the desert, do not load your pickup truck full of them, as they're neither free nor meant for human consumption
source: lcsun-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
After exiting assault weapons sales, Dick's Sporting Goods earnings report shows they made a terrible mistake... of not doing it sooner
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State)
 
 
 
Baptist church removes statue of Christ because it's "too Catholic." Wait until they find out he was Jewish
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Beware of Elon Musk's Twitter posse, when they come after you it's like 'dog pile on the rabbit' all over you ...especially if you're a female
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Feds get to keep 99.9844% of what they found in Cohen's office
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The reason why it is OK for female critics to lust after male actors. Hey I didn't say it was a GOOD reason
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Giuliani says Trump might possibly be willing to consider an interview with Mueller if he first gets to see what evidence they have. This is totally normal for a suspect to demand
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Why didn't the FBI warn Trump about Russian meddling? That's a good question. And it has a good answer: They did, on July 19, 2016
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Nissan must have heard how tired we all were from winning since they decided to cut productivity by 20% to give us all a break
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 29, 2018
(Page Six)
 
 
 
You ever notice that if you die before about age 40 or so, they headline writers never say you "passed away" or even just "died" ; but instead always say you were "found dead'?
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
MSNBC asks Joy Reid what it takes to get fired from a TV show
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Dog assists in scooter robbery, no word on how they'll get the stains out of the carpet
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
In case anyone still thought they might get a raise from those tax cuts: "Now, executives of big U.S. companies suggest that the days of most people getting a pay raise are over, and that they also plan to reduce their work forces further"
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Sara Gilbert tries to save Roseanne show from racist Roseanne tweets. Unfortunately, her hail mary fails to connect. Trump base says they'll no longer watch television if racists don't get more shows
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PetaPixel)
 
 
 
Photographer at a breaking news event gives Fox News a NSFW reply when they ask to use his photos, which was then promptly ignored. Then the copyright trolls showed up
source: petapixel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The Puerto Rican government's official death toll from Hurricane Maria stands at 64, but that might be just a little low, like by say 4,936-odd people, at least according a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine-but what do they know?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
So, your local Starbucks is closed for mandatory common sense training today. Where will you get your coffee instead? Do you think the chain will lose customers after they try McDonald's, Caribou, or a good local place? It's Coffee Talk
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
World's tallest all-wood office building been built in Queensland. They are employing state of the art anti fire, termite, and keebler-elf technology
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
For some reason, Republicans thought the North Korea summit would help them retain control of Congress "This is the problem with the RNC: They're farking morons. If the party runs on North Korea and taxes? They're going to lose 40 seats"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 28, 2018
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
40,000 gallons of paint spills onto freeway. Although most vehicles stopped, witnesses swear they saw a van go
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"Are they booing me?" "No, sir, they're saying 'Boo-liani'"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Dolphin 'happiness' measured by scientists in France. Yes, they did it on porpoise
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
No, Donald. No they wouldn't. Many died fighting against fascism. Not for "on both sides"
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Japan News)
 
 
 
I hate my parents' favoring my younger sister. She and her baby hang out with them all week, and gets them and Grandma to feed the kid. When I visit with my child, they don't take care of us. I told Mom and Dad they should stop indulging sis
source: the-japan-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Federal authorities say yes; they took 1,500 children away from their families, and yes; they deported their parents; and yes, they assigned the 1,500 children to foster homes, but it's not THEIR fault the children disappeared somewhere on the way
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJLA Washington DC)
 
 
 
Animal farts lift Virginia Tech researcher's book to New York Times bestselling list. Man, what are they feeding those things?
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
"They still went into a pitch black, badly damaged basement beneath a molten reactor core that was slowly burning its way down to them" -- how a real suicide squad helped save the day at Chernobyl
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
New culling program means farmers in the UK could get up to $70 for every badger they kill, though they'll earn nothing for mushrooms or snakes
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 27, 2018
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
MIT professor wins award for figuring out in the 1980s how humanity was destroying the ozone layer. They had to wait 30 years to find out if she was right
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Well, least his old man never cut off The Boss' hand with a light saber; Kasdans admit they lifted Han Solo's daddy issues from Bruce Springsteen's autobiography (Warning: Spoilers in article)
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
With today's computers, it's almost impossible to get lost. So those children that HHS lost aren't really lost because they know where they are. Thanks for the insight Rick Santorum
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Machines can spot online arguments. No they can't
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Someone forgot to ask the insurance companies if they could arm teachers
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Independent)
 
 
 
Hey, America. Could you do us all a favor and stop exporting your stupidity and election conspiracy theories to the rest of the world?
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Hooversville Cafe holds first adult entertainment show and my, they really went all out on the signage
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Trump's favorite lawyer goes on unhinged rant about liars, leakers and liberals (oh my) trying to frame Trump, says they should try it in on someone dumber than them. So...her then?
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
Colts Coach Reich 'not worried' about Andrew Luck not throwing. Apparently Luck is so good, he doesn't need to ever throw the football. Perhaps they will get him an assistant to throw it for him
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 26, 2018
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Trump is now claiming the quotes the White House provides are "phony" when they are reported by the NYT
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Two McDonald's customers have filed a $5 million lawsuit alleging they are charged the same price regardless if their burger has cheese or not
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Trump defends a group's constitutional right to protest. Maybe they could demonstrate by kneeling?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
"A President who refuses a subpoena won't voluntarily show up for prison. The court would have to send Marshals after the President. And when the Marshals arrive to arrest the President, they would likely get in a gunfight with the Secret Service"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syfy)
 
 
 
Revisiting Star Trek, nearly a decade after they boldly went again
source: syfy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(don't like Trump voters)
 
 
 
I despise Trumpers; family ties, regrets. or no. They voted the most vile candidate since A Jackson, despite all info. I hope all of them have a horrible life. no sympathy. Am I a bad person?
source: thetylt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you thought the Parkland kids would just fade away, guess again. They just got Publix to halt their political contributions
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 25, 2018
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Research reveals that when religious people try to suppress thoughts about sex they end up thinking about it even more. Oh, God ... oh, God ... OH, GOD
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Cohen met with Viktor Vekselberg, the Russian oligarch that wired him $500k, a few weeks prior to the payment. They met at Trump Tower to discuss "Russian relations"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Doctors find a vagina full of ganja after woman complains of stomach pains. She'd been arrested for drug smuggling twice but this time she was mostly storing rather than smuggling so they let her go
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Sshhh. Don't tell liberals that their hero Barney Frank, the great crusading avenger who saved them all from those mean, nasty banks, actually works for a bank that benefited from his legislation. They're fragile, those liberals -- truth scares them
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gallup)
 
 
 
Gallup Poll: Americans who say they're LGBT rises for sixth straight year. FABULOUS
source: news.gallup.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Scientists have given famed astronomer Tycho Brahe a complete medical checkup. They concluded that he is fat, eats too much, drinks too much, is a bigger badass than Neil deGrasse Tyson, and shows symptoms of being dead
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
DHS has already begun separating children from parents seeking entry to the U.S. and... they're around here somewhere.... Uh Lou, do you remember where we put all those kids?
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Court docs reveal Apple knew about "touch disease", claim they did everything to fix the problem at the time and you can get a cream for that now
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Berlin students install hay feeders for elephants in middle of Pennsylvania. But wait. There's more. They still have seven feeders left to make for other elephants, giraffes and zebras. This headline brought to you by Mad Libs
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
NFL postpones announcement of host city for 2020 draft until they can get enough shills to place bets for them on selected winner
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
1990s: Hey mom, can you get off the phone? I want to use the internet. 2010s: Hey mom, can you get off the phone?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 24, 2018
(Metro)
 
 
 
Queen Elizabeth's cows are so pampered they sleep on waterbeds
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Caught smuggling fifteen gallons of smelt, they never got to the "dealt" stage of things
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Ever told someone you were leaving them, then had to slink back and ask if they wouldn't mind letting you stay in the house for a bit while you got yourself sorted? Britain knows how you feel
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Trends)
 
 
 
You can order a tiny house on Amazon. Sears and Roebuck from 1920 are holding on line 1, say they did it better
source: digitaltrends.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
After Embassy Suites in Las Vegas pulls out of hosting the world's biggest orgy, the nearby Erotic Heritage Museum says they're willing to take it on
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The creator says the small, rented private airport spaces are workplaces, not phone booths or sex dens. Maybe he didn't say the last part, so, maybe they are
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Let me tell you about the very drunk. They are no different from you and me," wrote F. Scott Fitzgerald ... or he might have, once, when he was drinking
source: foto.gettyimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
A balanced look at the gun problem shows Dems are screwed. They can either propose useless laws which won't hinder potential mass shooters; or gun confiscation which would be a huge turnout magnet for Republican voters. CBS must be a division of FOX
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
In April, the Arizona Diamondbacks could not lose a series. In May, they're having a hard time figuring out how to hit
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lansing State Journal)
 
 
 
Hey, guys. Juggalo Prom
source: lansingstatejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
A reminder why they're banned on military installations: ZTE and other cheap cell phones come with malware pre-installed
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
That Trump-Kim coin? They're still going to sell it though they're knocking off five bucks from the price
source: news.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
The top 10 new species for 2018. By "new," they mean recently discovered, not recently evolved or recently intelligently designed
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Christians finally realize they've been backing the wrong apocalyptic horseman
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Relationship expert suggests that women about to face another awkward time in the bedroom apply the Sandwich Rule to get what they want from their man. Aww yeah, sandwiches
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
German city bans older diesel cars. And by "older", they mean from before VW admitted to faking emissions tests
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 23, 2018
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
New research shows pterodactyls probably couldn't fly the way we thought they did, or even pronounce their own names
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Jets co-owner and chairman Christopher Johnson announces that he will cover any of his players' fines should they decide to kneel during anthem
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Looks like someone forgot to tell Texas Democrats about the wave as they fail to show up to vote in Democratic run-off
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Those centrist Democrats who supported deregulating banks? Turns out they got huge piles of cash in return
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Clint Walker, star of TV's 'Cheyenne,' heads to the big ranch in the sky
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Sanders explains that the reason no Democratic Congress critters were invited to the briefing about the FBI's informant is: They didn't ask. Adding that it's unclear why Democrats would "consider themselves randomly invited to see something they never asked to"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cinema Blend)
 
 
 
Some reviewers at the Jurassic World screening in Madrid liked the film so much they were 'literally having erections' and gave it a 10 minute standing ovation
source: cinemablend.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Remember that animatronic band from Showbiz Pizza in the 1980s? Turns out they're performing now with an updated song list
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Read More by Reid Moore)
 
 
 
Hey all. Loooooong time Farker has written the first chapter of a crime novel about a serial killer knocking off some of Hollywood's oldest celebs. Who will miss them? Would appreciate some feedback. As Roger De Bris would say, "Be brutal. Bruuutal"
source: criminal.media   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Pawn shop posts sign: "We sell AR-15's because we're not Dick's." Discovers a lot of people think they are
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Everyone's worst fears have come true. are they talking about A: The Hawaiian volcano eruptions? B: Trump causing WWIII? or C: The Live Nation / Ticketmaster merger?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
Woman accuses Uber of discriminatory "degrading conduct" towards women. Uber's defense is they treat everyone that way
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Iridium Flarefan)
 
 
 
The good news is that the new Iridium satellites that SpaceX launched will work just fine. The bad news is they won't make pretty flares like the old ones used to
source: heavens-above.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Amazon's plan to create 3D scans of people to more accurately predict how clothes will fit different body shapes might not work out because it will upset people if they see their true, lumpy self
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Don't send back too many items to Amazon, they will ban you because you're a drag on them
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The goggles, they did something. Blind woman sees her service dog for the first time. I'm not crying, you're crying
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(China Daily)
 
 
 
Man on the street catches little girl falling from 5 meters above, tears leg muscle in process. "I would cry for my incompetence if I failed, but I succeeded. They were joyful tears"
source: usa.chinadaily.com.cn   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 22, 2018
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sam Clovis talks, says the informant talked to him "like they were in the faculty lounge" discussing data and research. Also, he was afraid the guy may have been setting up a breadcrumb trail for investigators concerned about, you know, treason
source: amp.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter: They didn't even invite me
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Mosquitoes remember what you smell like and if you swatted at them. No word on how long they hold grudges
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
These articles about Boy Scouts getting free condoms at the World Jamboree because they now allow girls and gays? That's been the rule since the '90s
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityLab)
 
 
 
Japanese rail stations operate so efficiently because they use behavioural nudges to control travellers
source: citylab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal Times)
 
 
 
Famous people and the foods they can't stand
source: journaltimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Michael Cohen's business partner agrees to cooperate as part of plea deal. Oh, and he's Russian. But, hey, who isn't these days?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
J.C. Penney announces they will now have four CEOs, one for each customer
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Wolverines will be going to South Africa in 2019. They will take a safari where they are guaranteed not to see actual wolverines
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spaceflight Now)
 
 
 
SpaceX imitates UberPool, as they loft 2 gravity research satellites, then change orbit to drop off 5 more Iridiums. Instantaneous launch window from Vandenberg at 3:48 PM ET, live show starts about 3:30 PM ET
source: spaceflightnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Hey hey, we're half of the Monkees! We just keep touring around
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Sports)
 
 
 
Astros finally give up on busted slugging 1B Jon Singleton. Once so highly thought of they gave him $10M extension before reaching the big leagues, he ended up blowing it all on weed and accumulating only 420 career plate appearances
source: mlb.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
Someday they're going to be casting "Trump, the Movie". So, who do you want to see playing the main roles?
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Alabama sues the Census Bureau because their 3rd grade reading level means they have a hard time understanding "counting the whole number of persons in each State"
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
People reveal 12 things they didn't learn until embarrassingly late in life. Is there anything you want to confess to not knowing for a while?
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Because they get in the way of his calls to Pootie babie
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
I'm not saying they're Cylons, but...
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 21, 2018
(Asahi Shimbun)
 
 
 
Nagasaki restaurateur hits crowdfunding sites to solicit funds for new soft-serve ice cream machine because, hey, everybody loves 12-tier ice cream with their okonomiyaki
source: asahi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNEP Scranton)
 
 
 
Officers raid house, discover illegal nightclub. Also possible they all just live there
source: wnep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kickstarter)
 
 
 
Hey, punk The Robocop statue now has an official placement in Detroit, and an unveiling coming soon
source: kickstarter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(law and crime)
 
 
 
Fake news outlet The Onion publishes non-fake cease and desist order from Cohen from 2013, who for some reason thinks they are actual journalists
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Golf Channel)
 
 
 
Douchey golfer buys douchey supercar
source: golfchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bozeman Daily Chronicle)
 
 
 
Montanans take their fishing seriously, so much so they're now using laser beams to combat nonnative invasive species
source: bozemandailychronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Alert)
 
 
 
NASA to create the coldest temperature in the universe using lasers in space. For better results, submitter proposes they send his ex-wife up there instead
source: sciencealert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Kids died, meh. It's not like they were White fetuses
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Article helpfully explains that we should encourage children to be more weird so they don't become serial killers
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Well, it's not like anybody believed they were serious
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
PSA: If you run naked in the rain, the deputy is going to have to tase you because they have nothing to hang onto (with mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"Also, we will mention the irony of the pig in a police car now so that anyone that thinks they're funny is actually unoriginal and trying too hard," the police said on social media
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bustle)
 
 
 
Why do cats knead everything? And can they help make pizza dough?
source: bustle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
It's never good when you find your 3-year-old playing with poop. It's worse when there's so much of it that they have to call in specialists to rescue him
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Two of the witnesses were passing by saw all of this occurring, stopped their vehicles, got out and - they were concealed handgun holders - and began firing at the individual"
source: cbsaustin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Shockingly enough, there's a shiatload of money being laundered through "lobbying" firms that sprung up seemingly overnight and they're all tied to Trump
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Mets do something at Citi Field they haven't done since 2016 -- sweep a series
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter