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headlines found matching 'Help'
Sat February 04, 2023
(NBC 15 Madison)
 
Hero
 
Wisconsin woman finds out what brown can do for you
source: nbc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Tired of overnight oats? Who isn't? Try a savoury porridge with veg, poached egg and chia seeds to brighten up your morning
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atavist)
 
 
 
Do you ever wish you'd cashed in on the YouTube showboat or helped your kids pursue their dreams of stardom? Well now you can run away screaming
source: magazine.atavist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Kyiv Independent)
 
 
 
Day 346 of WW3: News: US allocates $5.4 million confiscated from Russian oligarch to help rebuild Ukraine. Soon-to-be Republican angst: ZOMG, this is socialisms Won't somebody think of the billionaires? It's your Saturday Ukraine war discussion
source: kyivindependent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Can't pee while drunk? Well, aside from being the compete opposite of everyone else, you may have a rare, incurable and hard-to-pronounce cancer
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 03, 2023
(Metro)
 
 
 
Wanted short criminal, who goes by the name 'Get Shorty 4.9,' teases police on social media to try and catch his big cheeky mouth
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Residents of Missouri get something to help them forget that they live in Missouri
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Man arrested in connection with the theft of two simian sidekicks that were taken from the Dallas Zoo this week
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I'm here from Gilead and I'm here to help
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 02, 2023
(Super Throwback Party)
 
 
 
Grammys throwing hip-hop a 50th birthday party with a little help from Uncle L and Questlove
source: superthrowbackparty.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Can Fark help me celebrate my 50th with the best (inappropriate) gifs/memes for 50th Bday?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Let's look at how Ron DeSantis helped spread a virus through sheer force of idiocy
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOMU Columbia)
 
 
 
The news of Samuel Clemons' death cannot be exaggerated
source: komu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 01, 2023
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Want a feel good story for the day? How about Mr. Beast helping 1000 people see again?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wfxrtv.com)
 
 
 
Meet Milo, Roanoke Colleges Athletic Training Clinic's "adored addition". He loves being petted and getting belly rubs, plus you can pour your heart out to him with zero judgement. Please welcome him and his owner to Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: wfxrtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Are you interested in a '04 Chevy Tahoe cosplaying as a '50 Chevy Bel Air?
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 31, 2023
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Goodwill hunting might be a bit bleak this season
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wyoming News)
 
 
 
WY wants to help finance TX's vanity wall and immigrant-shipping, instead of something useful, like schools or road repairs. Subby too mad to snark
source: wyomingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Three rappers go missing after a performance at a club is canceled. If you know how this ends the Detroit police would like to hear from you immediately
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
I'd tell you to take this quiz that scores how much of a perfectionist you are, but I already aced it so there's not really any point in you trying
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Containment breach in 3...2...1 (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Have you been homeless? Subby is at the moment. Any tips or tricks for walking the cold street? Beside carrying a large knife
source: endhomelessness.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 30, 2023
(Fark)
 
 
 
Help Subby celebrate half a century of life today by sharing something you are passionate about. This being Fark, the more obscure the better, too. (LGT to what Subby may look like after a single drink later tonight...)
source: beerspill.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(VinePair)
 
 
 
Seeing as most of us farkers are visual learners, here is a helpful map of the states that drink the most alcohol in the US colored by their per capita rate. If you can no longer read it, you may have imbibed a wee bit too much
source: vinepair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big Think)
 
 
 
JWST isn't hunting for the most distant galaxies on its own. Gravitational lensing and ALMA are both here to help
source: bigthink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sci Tech Daily)
 
 
 
A coffee with milk a day helps keep the inflammation away
source: scitechdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Internet Archive)
 
Boobies
 
5318008
source: blog.archive.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 29, 2023
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The extraordinary story of how a junked VW Jetta on Long Island helped a family to escape the horrors of war in Ukraine
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Paul McCartney nearly hit by a car on famous Abbey Road crosswalk. This is why we don't do it in the road, Paul
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 28, 2023
(Live5 News Charleston)
 
 
 
A mother will help you move, a grandmother will help you move a body
source: live5news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Truth Social users beg TFG to please stop running shady ads: "I've been scammed more than once"...and that doesn't even include getting swindled into voting for him in the first place
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Man who phoned in bomb threats released on the condition he get psychiatric help and turns in his library card
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 27, 2023
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Surprising no one, a pastor is accused of leading a double, nay, a triple life if you include the pastoring as a side hustle
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bill Barr once traveled to Italy to get the Italian government to help discredit the Trump/Russia investigation. They responded by giving him evidence of Trump crimes
source: ca.finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 26, 2023
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Welcome to Home Depot. How may I help you? Where can I find paint? Aisle 2. Light bulbs? Aisle 7. Bathroom fixtures? Aisle 32. Great, now do you have any future husbands in stock?
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hulk Hogan sent out a Tweet telling everyone he was out of toilet paper, and needed some help soonish. Sounds like he was full of shiat
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Frylock, Master Shake and Meatwad return to Adult Swim to help everyone forget what happened to Rick & Morty
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
If you see a man with half an ear, avoid that man. He'll only listen to half of what you say
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southgate News-Herald)
 
 
 
Help name new Mission that is opening soon in Subby's neighborhood
source: thenewsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 25, 2023
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Irishman explains his hiatchhiking to Australia in aid of suicide prevention charities, says he understands there's a lot of mountains to climb in order to get to the landlocked country
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Mirror)
 
 
 
Irishman explains his hiatchhiking to Australia in aid of suicide prevention charities, says he understands there's a lot of mountains to climb in order to get to the landlocked country
source: irishmirror.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Silly Senators in the Ticketmaster antitrust hearing just can't help themselves from making dumb Taylor Swift lyric references
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(White House)
 
 
 
Finally a first step towards national rent control: White House launches new effort to help tenants, unveils new protections amid soaring rental costs
source: whitehouse.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nature)
 
 
 
Antidepressants help bacteria to resist antibiotics. No word if Viagra makes also them irresistible
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
At least three teachers knew that the 6-year-old had a gun before he shot his teacher, but administrators would do nothing to help because "the school day was almost over"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Empty Wheel)
 
 
 
Here's a helpful chart which shows the difference between a mishandling case featuring obstruction vs. an obstruction case featuring classified documents
source: emptywheel.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
DirecTV sends Newsmax direct-to-trashcan
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 24, 2023
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Eleven games for your Tuesday Night Hockey fix, starting at 7:00 PM ET with key games being Bruins-Habs, Panthers-Penguins, Wild-Bolts, and Capitals-Avs. This should help us get through the week
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
I have betamax tapes I need to convert. Have Beta player, Canon optura to feed through, i7 desktop. What is a good capture program, capture parameters, disk space, ways to share. Any help appreciated
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 23, 2023
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Idiot factory FaceBook is here to help, Brazil edition
source: economictimes.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Sorry McDonald's customer, they don't call it fast food for nothing. Now pay that £100 fine 'for eating your food too slowly'
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 22, 2023
(WRAL)
 
 
 
"In a hit and run and need help? Call 1-800-resign"
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 21, 2023
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Since being adopted, a cat with special needs has cuddled more than 100 foster kittens, helping socialize them and prepare them for a new home. Welcome to Caturday
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 20, 2023
(MSN)
 
 
 
Alabama farmer secretly paid 100 dollars each month to help cover the cost of prescription medications for town-folk. Subby was looking for some major snark here, but it just got really dusty
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
New class of Senate Republicans come down with an even worse case of Trump MAGA fever than the last class. Probably no amount of medication will help
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CIA now helping Zelensky predict Russian attacks
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
A sailor adrift for weeks off of Colombia survived by eating condiments
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Of all the opinions written that were utterly devoid of reality, this one is the devoidest
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asbury Park Press)
 
 
 
Abandoned alligator story was a croc
source: app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Amateur web sleuths helped solve the case of missing lottery winner Abraham Shakespeare, because as they say, blood will have blood
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 19, 2023
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Police refuse to help woman who was upset her incantations and magic potion failed to work
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
TFG wants the reporter at Politico arrested so he can out Alito as the source of the leak and allow the Democrats to impeach him in 2024. The Aristocrats
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Farker)
 
 
 
"Artificial Intelligence Can Help Improve MRI Scanning Speed," find Sarah Connor
source: healthitanalytics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Zookeeper)
 
 
 
The Kansas City Zoo needs help naming a baby, female rhino. Watcha got, Farkers?
source: kansascityzoo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fansided)
 
 
 
It's like this, Gronk: To Aaron Rodgers, Super Bowl trophies are similar to a COVID vaccine and MVP awards are more like a heapin' helpin' of horse paste
source: fansided.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Slaughterhouses using gas chambers to process even less humanely
source: stopgaschambers.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(25 News)
 
 
 
Police ask for public's help in identifying the Republicanmobile carrying the Republican who torched an Illinois Planned Parenthood clinic. I hate Illinois Republicans
source: 25newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida woman pulled from storm drain for the third time in two years. Previously she wandered through the tunnels for weeks and ended up in Texas. That's some underground network
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Super Throwback Party)
 
 
 
Flo Rida can continue to not make hits with no financial worries thanks to $82.6 million-win in a breach of contract lawsuit against beverage maker Celsius
source: superthrowbackparty.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 18, 2023
(Guardian)
 
 
 
In order to be more sustainable, Britain should switch to eating bread made with broad beans, and not narrow beans which would not help at all
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Dying institution refuses calls for changes to help it die slower
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(971theriver.com)
 
 
 
Leroy had a very joyous reunion with his family after he went missing nearly two years ago, a reunion made possible because he's microchipped. Please welcome him, his family and all those who helped bring them together in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday (w/video)
source: 971theriver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 17, 2023
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Sen. Coons meets with CEOs in Davos about Ukraine Aid: "Look, we now have lunatics in control of the U.S. Budget. So, some of you may have to step up and help finance the war in Ukraine"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Chelsea Handler explains why her astrology helpline failed
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Remember kids, crime doesn't pay. Here's a £5000 gift card to help you remember
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
If you have the word Chevrolet tattooed down the length of your arm you're probably stupid enough to not cover it up while attempting to abduct a barista on camera
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Insurance bills about to get much smaller for many in the southeast
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
After on-field tantrum that helped Jacksonville defeat his Chargers, Joey Bosa doubles down, calls the officials power-tripping a-holes who had it in for him
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
Confused by its surroundings, ai infant stops at construction site, waiting for adult to help. Witnesses says this happens waymo than anyone expected
source: kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 16, 2023
(CNN)
 
 
 
Former Wagner unit commander channels his inner Sir Robin and seeks asylum in Norway before the hammer of Putin comes down just like the guy before him
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
The cake is real (and the place that makes it is less than one mile from subby's house)
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Nova the cloud leopard had help on the outside for her escape. Screws and cops clamping down. Andy Dufresne hides wire cutters in the wall
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 15, 2023
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
It ain't armed robbery if the stapler ain't loaded
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 14, 2023
(CNBC)
 
 
 
JP Morgan plays the naive idiot, says they were led astray when purchasing "college planning" firm
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
One L.A. motorist is helping improve the image of Tesla drivers
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cops called to help man suffering hallucinations, man later dies at hospital despite paramedics transport. Two charged with murder and it's not who you think
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 13, 2023
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Boston's 2023 citizen-driven tourism campaign off to a bad start
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cousin of Black Lives Matter founder finds out that as far as the LAPD goes, they still don't
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some boffins)
 
 
 
Turning abandoned mines into batteries may deprive future Bond villains of underground lairs; help the environment
source: iiasa.ac.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big Think)
 
 
 
The Universe might seem incomprehensibly big, but these tricks might help you wrap your head around it
source: bigthink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The London Economic)
 
 
 
Jacob Avoirdupois-Mogg: The reason we can't have Brexit unicorns is because of the Remoaners who don't want Britain to reap the benefits of Cloud Cuckoo Land
source: thelondoneconomic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 12, 2023
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
"I loved that there would be a Republican gay congressman," says someone who helped raise money for George Santos. In fairness to her, she admitted that when he claimed to have wrestled against 400 women between 1979-1983, it seemed like a red flag
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Sitting on your ass for 10-12 hours a day will punch your ticket off this mortal coil in short order, but there's a cure. Something called 'walking' for just a few minutes a day can help keep the Grim Reaper at bay, unless you had the Salmon Mousse
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Soompi)
 
 
 
K-pop idol rapper embroiled in allegations of hiring "military evasion brokers" that helped diagnose him with epilepsy, letting him get out of active duty
source: soompi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"My wife fell in love on vacation and never came back. Can I have her stuff and should I move on?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 11, 2023
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Thomas learns something new about freight cars
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Farkette found an old family photo. Bikers, help her ID grampa's cool ride
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 10, 2023
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Apparently God didn't help Mike Pence's book sales
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Texas really does has a problem with South American immigrants
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 09, 2023
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Fictional People's Problems: "I'm supposed to be RE-tired, but I'm just tired from counting all my money. What do?"
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
How many tumbleweeds does it take to bury a West Texas town?
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 08, 2023
(Newschannel 9)
 
 
 
Ah yes, the exotic glamorous world of the "Jet-set"
source: newschannel9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 07, 2023
(Amazon)
 
 
 
Farker Wenchmaster has a book of short fiction published on Amazon called "Feral Imagination". Ghosts, Gods, Aliens, Cowboys, Elves, and amazing cover art in both dead-tree and Kindle versions. Help a Farker out
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Slate: It's no big deal to have $20,000 in credit card debt and continue adding more debt on top of it as long as you're enjoying your life, right?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Traditional Japanese culture, cheese, Papal history, and Florida Man are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, Dec. 29-Jan. 4: Pretentious Food Edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
So all the rain the West Coast has been getting is surely helping to end their drought, right? Right?
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
I'm stuck to my chair. I'm so very scared. Help
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 06, 2023
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
Hero
 
In the very early running for the most Philly story of 2023
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Doing coke in a supermarket toilet, jumping in your car with three 16-year-olds, repeatedly driving past your ex while screaming abuse before flipping the vehicle with everyone inside then asking your ex for help? That's a busy day for a 19 year old
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
If you spent money to see Top Gun: Maverick, you helped make a Russian oligarch richer and you hate America
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food and Wine)
 
 
 
While these tips may help, you still don't make friends with salad
source: foodandwine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Ze German company which helped pioneer mRNA technology for covid will soon test that tech out as "immunotherapy tailored to individual tumors." They're definitely rolling
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Who among us hasn't resorted to tape to keep an 18 month old in their seat?
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ski slopes in Switzerland are combatting the lack of snow by helicoptering it in. Owners heard asking: "Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?"
source: switzerlandtimes.ch   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Ross Douthat, the self-moralizing, angst-ridden Christian who somehow got himself hired as a "conservative columnist" at the NYT, would like some feedback on the first chapter of his new fantasy novel, part 1 of a trilogy. Help him out, would you?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
My sweet and beloved 17 year old son's first girlfriend was nervous about meeting me. This means my son is beating her, right?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 05, 2023
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
After crashing into a St. Louis store, driver blames speeding, bald tires, running out of gas, having no change for cab fare, losing his tux at the cleaners, locking his keys in the car, being in an earthquake, a flood, and locusts
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
Hero
 
Biden to SCOTUS: "Listen up you Jesus freaks. I'm going to help these average Americans with their student loan debt because they deserve a hand after 40 years of policies that helped everyone but them. That's a fact, Jack"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Caption this jigsaw puzzle and helper
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
He just can't help himself: on his official House website George Santos proudly proclaims he voted "no" on the Omnibus spending bill. Which would be difficult since the bill was voted on Dec 23rd and he has yet to be actually sworn in
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Jets coach vows to help Zach Wilson become a great QB "through hell or high water." Mark Sanchez, Geno Smith, Sam Darnold unavailable for comment on Jets' record of helping anyone become an average QB
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The Lincoln project is putting together a playlist for Kevin McCarthy. So far they have: "Don't Speak" - No Doubt, "Loser" - Beck, "Never Gonna Get It" - En Vogue, "The Sound of Failure "- The Flaming Lips. Let's help them out with some more
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 04, 2023
(WRIC Richmond)
 
 
 
Residents call this guy the "neighborhood creep." You may not want to know what he allegedly called himself
source: wric.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLFI Lafayette)
 
 
 
A community came together when a family's dog escaped from her yard during very cold weather. Family, friends & total strangers searched for Misty for 5 days, ending with her being found safe miles from home just in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday
source: wlfi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Day 315 of WW3: Latest Orc count is 89 dead at Makiivka. Moscow blames Russian soldiers' defiance of cell phone ban for attack, saying it was the "main cause" in helping Ukraine track their location. It's your Wednesday Ukraine war discussion
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 03, 2023
(WRAL)
 
 
 
"911, what's your emergency?" "Um, hi, we're um, burglarizing this residence and we need some help moving things out of the house." "No problem, we'll send someone out right now." "Thanks"
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local 12 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Brazen thieves rip off music store. Posting this in hopes it helps track down the thieves, return the instruments. Lot of us play. All of us love music
source: local12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IFL Science)
 
 
 
As the song goes, "Does anybody know what time it is"? A time crystal might help
source: iflscience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon January 02, 2023
(Komo)
 
 
 
Matthew 25:40 in action
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
It's a new year but the same old RAW: Tonight, Seth attempts to pry the U.S. title from Theory's hands. Hopefully, he doesn't add two more words to that. Bianca defends her title vs Alexa. Will Uncle Howdy help Alexa win? Find out at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Why impersonate Air Force "special agent" when inquiring about Delta-8 THC products at local smoke shop? Sorry, that's on need-to-know basis
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Orlando Brown arrested for being so raven
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(7 News Australia)
 
 
 
Even the helicopters in Australia want to kill you
source: 7news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun January 01, 2023
(GoFundMe)
 
 
 
Farker Mr. Fuzzypaws has finally swallowed his pride and is asking for help
source: gofundme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Twice a year pet owners have to put up with people who just have to blow up fireworks. Here are some tips for helping the animals we care about
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 31, 2022
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Damn New Year's isn't even over yet and a UK tabloid is already trying to get the Brits drunk for the whole month of Dry January (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
"He reaches out his paw to the vet tech that has been caring for him overnight, showing her just how happy he is that he is being helped. He still has a long way to go, but we won't give up." Welcome to Caturday
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." But snow?
source: who13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 30, 2022
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
'Voting machine tampering suspect ruled incompetent'
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're going to commit armed robbery, don't leave your cell phone and gun at the crime scene. And definitely don't make your selfie the phone's wallpaper. Fail and Asinine tags tripped up by Dumbass tag
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
Hero
 
Man convinces 19 strangers to help him break into a school and steal from school cafeteria, police thank man for his actions
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
Kansas police chief wants you to know his police officers felt uncomfortable arresting terminally ill cancer patient for THC possession but they did it anyway because it's the law. Claims charges were dropped after officer emailed DA
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NL Times (Netherlands))
 
 
 
Director of institute that promotes safe workplaces is fired for creating a hostile workplace, liked to strip down to underwear and grind against staff at mandatory dance sessions. Should she not have done that?
source: nltimes.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Day 310 of WW3: Britain says it has given Ukraine more than 1,000 metal detectors and 100 kits to deactivate bombs to help clear minefields in the latest instance of military support. It's your Friday Ukraine war discussion
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Arizona: Yes, we're in a historic drought that is forcing the entire Southwest to try and conserve water. So let's sell our water to foreign entities and help feed cattle overseas
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 29, 2022
(Tucson.com)
 
 
 
That'll be 12 years in prison for buying guns for felons and helping cartels smuggle drugs, Mr. Border Patrol agent
source: tucson.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
You can't help it - it's in your DNLay
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Boston is one of the loneliest cities in the US. Maybe if they cut back on the beans it would help
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 28, 2022
(Philly Voice)
 
 
 
What's to know, they're all nuts, isn't everyone's family nuts?
source: phillyvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
More than 3,000 Brits were sober enough to file their taxes on Christmas Day, which seems high
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The London Economic)
 
 
 
Ministers in Brexitland will now be chauffeured in lovely new Baden-Württemberg-assembled armoured Audi A8s because the subsidiary of Indian company Tata Motors can't get the parts. Now, what could possibly be the reason for that?
source: thelondoneconomic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Car repair hourly rates: $50 if you watch / $100 if you give advice / $150 if you try to help / $500 if you argue over the bill and shoot me to death
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 27, 2022
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
After freezing temperatures result in higher electricity demands, rolling power outages across north Alabama, utility companies now want homeowners to stop dripping faucets to prevent frozen pipes
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 26, 2022
(CNN)
 
 
 
With natural gas supply outstripping demand and natural gas prices sliding lower and lower, Pooty Poot lets the world know he is ready to send more gas to Europe help with the 'shortage' that exists only in the minds of his sycophant toads
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Welcome to Work Fark
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Calling on the power of FARK. Please help find a person missing for 3 weeks. Last known location Olympia, WA and headed to Indiana. Pix in thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
While you are cozy in your McMansions and supermarkets, people at the Pine Ridge reservation in Sorth Dakota are socked in with more than 30" of snow and forced to burn clothing for heat
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 25, 2022
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Amidst the wrapping paper and apple pie there will be two Christmas afternoon NFL games to watch. The Packers leave the frozen North to take on the Dolphins at 1PM ET on FOX, then the Broncos take on the Rams at 4:30 PM on CBS
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 24, 2022
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Terrifying pit bull drags owner across icy patio
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
'Twas The Night Before Christmas (Legal Edition)
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Law Enforcement can no longer stand idle and presume we can arrest ourselves out of this epidemic"
source: lakemchenryscanner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Kush takes a bone saw to his relationship with TFG. I'll bet he did Nazi that coming
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
It's gym life, but not as we know it
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 23, 2022
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Social media helps the economy, increases future car sales by 39 overnight
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Trump's own spokesperson says he shouldn't be allowed to hold office again
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's the Christmas TotalFark sponsorship thread. Stop in, say hi, get a month of TotalFark. I'll hook up as many people as I can. Also, if anyone else wants to help make someone's Holidays a little better, feel free to sponsor in this thread, too
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Santa's helper delievers the presents, happily deflowers many adult virgins during Christmas time (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAPT Jackson)
 
 
 
Shoot-larity ensues when woman takes Wal-Mart worker hostage and cops respond. The moral of this story is "Christmas shopping sucks for EVERYBODY"
source: wapt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 22, 2022
(CNN)
 
 
 
Male synchronized swimming finally allowed in next Olympics. Martin Short, Harry Shearer seen brushing up their technique
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"[The Mets FA signing spree] was unprecedented because that $111m luxury tax bill would be more than the total payroll for at least 10 other MLB clubs. The $315m spent to sign Correa was more than the Pirates have spent on FAs in more than a decade"
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food 52)
 
 
 
Protip: the onions don't have to be french but it does help to kiss that way
source: food52.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 21, 2022
(Kitchener Record)
 
 
 
1979: Catch an incurable virus that kills off your T-cells in the basement of Studio 54. 2022: Catch an incurable virus that kills off your T-cells in math class
source: therecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Skynet can't write clean code making it the prime candidate for next-gen Windows devs
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Mom help someone is cyberbullying me
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Xplore)
 
 
 
Wi-Fi could help identify when you're struggling to breathe because. apparently, you're too dense to know. Here's hoping you don't suffocate on a bad router
source: techxplore.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 20, 2022
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The new omnibus bill gives DOJ extra funding to help investigate and prosecute those involved in January 6th
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KBZK Bozeman)
 
 
 
Skier buried in avalanche for eight hours so grateful to be rescued that he'll "be maybe a little bit more careful next time"
source: kbzk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Why'd you clutch your chest and ask for help if you didn't want jail, Mr. Heart Attack Victim?
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Claire gets zesty with the help of Nigella. Awwww yeah
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Break out the tiny violins ... Aww, forget it. Liz Hurley is 'stranded at the Antigua airport with no food or water' and she needs your help because she's caught in travel chaos (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wunderman Thompson)
 
 
 
Boomers have learned how to use the internet, with helpful pictures of what a Boomer might look like
source: wundermanthompson.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
It was like this when I got here
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
MAGA Pastor Greg Locke: Help, witches are after me again
source: technotrenz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 19, 2022
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Much hay is eaten after super-secret covert operation results in very mooooving reunion
source: montreal.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Help Wanted: Men & Women ages 25-55 to play the role of an intrepid political news reporter. Compensation will be making a sad, old man very happy. Ugly women need not apply. NDA required
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Our dog witnessed me moving his favorite toy from the washer to the dryer and he is shook. Give him some encouragement to help him through the next 60 minutes. Today's also his 6th birthday so cake and well wishes for his next year are welcome
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"My gambling problems are out of control and are going to ruin Christmas. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Man is wary of homeless guy. Man's dog lets him know homeless guy is OK. Man helps homeless guy get off the street
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Hero
 
Florida residents rescue a cat stuck in a storm drain. Hero tag makes a rare fill-in for the Florida tag on this one
source: eaglesanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 17, 2022
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Randy Andy sells Swiss chalet for £19 million to help pay his mounting legal costs. It's good to be the pedo prince
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
World Cup continues with the match for third this morning at 10AM ET. Croatia vs. Morocco battle it out for best of Group F bragging rights, help Canada and Belgium feel so much better about their results
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 16, 2022
(Five Thirty-Eight)
 
 
 
Number of Americans living in poverty hits record low. Turns out, the government spending money to help its citizens can be a good thing. Who knew? Well, besides most of the civilized world
source: fivethirtyeight.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what Christmas in Florida is like?
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
More proof that man and robot can co-exist: Polite grocery robot thanks kind man who helps it get free from snow so it can deliver a person's shopping
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KBZK Bozeman)
 
 
 
If an avalanche researcher triggers an avalanche, do they get an award or do they just let it slide?
source: kbzk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The share of Americans living paycheck to paycheck rises to a near-record high of 63%. But sure, the economy is doing fine
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 15, 2022
(NPR)
 
 
 
More cities across the country are letting their residents name municipal snowplows things like Snowbi Wan Kenobi, Jon Bon Snowi, Buzz Iceclear and Clearopathra. Let's help add to the list
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Knowing this list will help you avoid these terrible 2000s movies
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Worldcrunch)
 
 
 
Backed in a corner by Putin, Belarus President Alexander Lukashenko has the choice between either a clean, painless suicide or invading Ukraine to help Russia...and it looks like he is about to choose poorly
source: worldcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 14, 2022
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
30 years old and Thor is already a journeyman
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Former President Donald Trump is calling GOP House members to help Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) become Speaker. GOP House members are responding by saying, "I don't know you. Who is this? I'm hanging up the phone. Prank caller, prank caller"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
Julius' Bar granted historical landmark status for being one of NCY's first gay establishments, inventing tasty orange drink
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Get off COBOL's lawn and appreciate its longevity
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 13, 2022
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Adventurers traveling near Huntington Beach should be wary, or risk becoming an NPC with a backstory
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Old & Busted: having a nuclear explosion in a big-budget movie. New Hotness: filming it without CGI
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Will Trump's bad polling help send him to prison? (Nothowanyofthisworks.gif)
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass penguin chick born at Tulsa Zoo. Need Farkers to help choose its name
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Not news: Recovering alcoholic opens non-alcoholic bottle shop in Minneapolis "to help others in their sobriety journey." Fark: They also sell cannabis and THC-infused drinks
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Goofus uses tax dollars to dump shipping containers in the desert, while Gallant uses tax dollars to help people successfully start new lives
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 12, 2022
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
If you voted Republican because you hoped a GOP House majority would help you with your food and heating bill, the opioid crisis in your hometown, or the status of your kids in school, I have bad news for you... predictable, but bad
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Insider)
 
 
 
Survival expert explains how to survive if you fall off a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean. No word on how to survive being on a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean
source: insider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 11, 2022
(USA Today)
 
 
 
As we get closer to the annual celebration of consumer spending known as Christmas, the Sunday Morning Music Club is looking to create a holiday playlist of Christmas songs that don't suck. Help an elf out, would ya?
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Dear Farkers that have gone through divorce: I need help getting through this. Any advice is greatly appreciated
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 10, 2022
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
Broncos turn to Guarantano to help their QB problems, exciting Denver fans who misread the headline
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 09, 2022
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Newt Gingrich's frothing nonsense could help democrats
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Study shows weighted blankets do help you sleep. Any farkers using them?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Apparently Supreme Court Court justices have been meeting with lobbyists for quite awhile. Now who would lobby the Supreme Court, Justice Thomas?
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 08, 2022
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
Hero
 
A man opens the paper one day, he sees the world is full of misery. He says, "I can help"
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Somehow it seems that Tucker Carlson has conveniently forgotten to mention the emails he and his wife sent to Hunter Biden thanking him for his help getting their son into college
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 07, 2022
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Our reporters try a yakiniku sauce called "Even Women Garlic" to figure out what that means"
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 06, 2022
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
What does it say that Wikipedia has 604 "low quality" images of cats? That people don't know how to take a good picture? Or people can't tell the difference between a good picture and a bad one? Or some people's cat are butt-ugly?
source: commons.m.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Ok Fark, you know your duty
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Hip Hop)
 
 
 
Kanye says that Hitler was the real victim. JFC, get this man a whole mountain of help
source: allhiphop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
You cook a chicken using a hotel coffee machine ONE time, and it ends up going viral
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"The woman who runs the corner store I frequent has invited me to her holiday cottage for a sex romp but I'm married. What do? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
The Flash will disappoint audiences a week sooner
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Suspect who taunted a special needs kid, then knocked out the eye of a woman defending him, is arrested. Surprisingly, Florida isn't mentioned anywhere in the article
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 05, 2022
(IMDB)
 
 
 
Subby had no idea this was tonight, apologies for late submit. S. №3 of "His Dark Materials" (covering "The Amber Spyglass," final novel of trilogy) premieres tonight with Ep. №1 "The Enchanted Sleeper" at 9 ㏘ EST & №2 "The Break" at 10, both on HBO
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
Hero
 
NAnananananananna. NAnananananananana. And if you get this cultural reference it's probably time to schedule a colonoscopy and a shingles shot
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Florida cop 'jokingly' fires gun he thought was unloaded into the chest of his Florida cop buddy, killing him instantly, and is instead deprived of the laughs he so craved for his wit and guile
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun December 04, 2022
(Iowa Starting Line)
 
 
 
They say to write a witty headline that is better than the actual headline. Here goes: As you travel through Iowa this winter, these beers will help you confront your reality of traveling through Iowa in the winter
source: iowastartingline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Noodles, who helped the internet through the pandemic, crossed Rainbow Bridge. Let's all have a "No Bones Day" in his memory
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
1000s of families complain Christian Care Ministry Medi-Share program won't cover their medical bills after paying into its "Biblical stewardship and responsibility" coverage. They did pray for their clients though
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 03, 2022
(Zillow)
 
 
 
Comes with VHS collection and TV
source: zillow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Having failed at beer, Molson Coors manages to fail at CBD drinks, too
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 02, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Police called when car crashes into Goodwill store. Police still on phone when car crashes into Goodwill a second time.. BONUS: an employee of the Goodwill. DOUBLE BONUS: Huffing paint the whole time
source: accesswdun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Turkey full of Wild Turkey shows up to Turkey Day, starts wildin', gets turked
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
UN writes a worthwhile sternly written letter to help 339 million fight to survive worldwide
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"My husband watched porn on his phone while we were having sex and I am unable to cope with this. What do?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thread Reader)
 
 
 
The best explanation of TFG's defeat in the special master case. "Plaintiff had no arguments so Cannon helped him out by thinking up some"
source: threadreaderapp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
White nationalist Vincent James says they've "Infiltrated the Mainstream Flank of GOP Politics". No shiat
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 01, 2022
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Austin Goolsbee named Chicago Fed President. You may remember him from such titles as "Economist who helped Obama Save America"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
1Password, no longer 2 things to remember. No need to recall whether you made the poor choice to use your Facebook or Google login to that obscure snarky comment site. 1Password will helpfully remember third-party logins for you
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 30, 2022
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Thanksgiving. Tom explodes into fire, ruining family holiday dinner. Difficulty, not a turkey
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Filipino boxing referee admits he cheated for Manny Pacquiao during win in 2000
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
White Supremacist denies he was part of secret plan to embarrass Trump, it's not like Trump needs help in embarrassing himself
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
And now, today's Fark-worthy news story
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
"John Stamos screams like a biatch." Comedian Brad Williams tells the story of the time he helped Bob Saget prank his Full House co-star (NSFW language)
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 6 Providence)
 
 
 
Subby's 95-year-old neighbor isn't asking for much this holiday season. He's just asking for Christmas cards. Let's see if we can help him out. Thank you
source: abc6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GoFundMe)
 
 
 
Peter David, one of the best book/comic book/television writers of our time is going through hell right now. And since writers rarely get paid a living wage he could use some help. I'm sure plenty of Farkers are fans so here's his gofundme
source: gofundme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 29, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Looking for a pet charity for "Giving Tuesday"? How about helping Project Street Vet, they help homeless people's pets
source: fetchpet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Pilot walks six miles for help after plane crash. And boy, were his arms tired
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Hailey Bieber reveals large ovarian cyst (with helpful pic)
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
Scientists not even pretending to help humanity anymore
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Polygon)
 
 
 
How being able to choose "girl" in early RPGs helped shape today's game developers. Note: "early RPGs" in this case refers to 2001
source: polygon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Subby has a job interview tomorrow morning and could use a pep talk. Help a farker out
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 28, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Video shows dog helping with laundry or measuring dryer for cat disposal?
source: pethelpful.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Score any good Cyber Monday deals?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Lost stuffed monkey has grand adventure before finding its way back to its human
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
A law enforcement training course promises those attending that they'll acquire the power to solve murders just by listening to a 911 call. Cops are using this junk science to convict people calling for help
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Houston, we have a problem
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 27, 2022
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Being Black in Britain gets you about the same amount of help in the justice system as it does in the United States
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 25, 2022
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
If your dad picked your 12-year-old self up from a birthday celebration while drunk, wearing a Las Vegas Raiders football helmet, and telling you he's driving you from LA to Las Vegas, you'd call 911 on him, too
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(41 Action News)
 
 
 
5-year-old boy helps mom deliver baby brother when she suddenly goes into labor at home. Good thing kid had recent experience being born himself
source: kshb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 24, 2022
(WSBTV)
 
Hero
 
Three McD's employees help deliver healthy baby in the bathroom, baby immediately starts crying when told the McFlurry machine was down for maintenance
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 23, 2022
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Stephen Colbert lends his talents to the Butterball help line, helps land a plane
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
Alaskan moose gets stuck in home trying to bite sister. Firefighters had to moose fast, rescue moose from sister biting him
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Dr. Frankenstein du jour, warning everyone of the danger of the monster he helped create: Bill Barr
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 22, 2022
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
How philosophy can help you. You, insurmontable failure
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Cat walks into hospital since it actually needed medical attention. At least it is better now
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Cat walks into hospital since it actually needed medical attention. At least it is better now
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
Here are some helpful safety tips for deep frying a turkey for Thanksgiving. In related story, Fark braces for rash of 'Fail,' Dumbass,' and 'Florida' submissions
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
NY prosecutors think they have a criminal case against Trump for that 2016 hush money payment to Stormy Daniels, says increasingly nervous man for seventh time this year
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 21, 2022
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
Going extremely hungover helps
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Car crashes through Apple store like unwanted U2 album
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Monitoring "frothy" magma gases could help evade disaster (and not just post-Chipotle)
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Day 271 of WW3: Interesting. Germany has offered to help Poland defend its airspace with fighter jets and anti-missile systems after last week's deadly missile incident near the Ukraine border. ACHTUNG, it's your Monday Ukraine war discussion
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 20, 2022
(MSN)
 
 
 
Not just incompetent, actively malicious: "Trump's White House blocked dozens of federal agencies from creating new government websites aimed at aiding the homeless, fighting human trafficking, and helping people vote, according to FOIA'ed records"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Man who tries to help rescue team rescue man gets arrested
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Customs seize so much cocaine in Belgium that incinerators can no longer keep up. Don Jr. volunteers to help
source: vrt.be   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 19, 2022
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Saying No to meth and Yes to roller skating also helps prevent unplanned pregnancies
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Search and rescue team in northern Michigan rescue hunter who fell into an icy river with the help of a very good boy. Fark: An 80-year old hunter
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 18, 2022
(MSN)
 
 
 
In a tacit admission his "ready, fire, aim" strategy at Twitter is a failure, Elon Musk asks for "anyone who actually writes software" to help him understand what he's done
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
The latest Frankensteins to flee the monster they helped create: Evangelical leaders
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Well, as the ancient Greeks used to say, "The gods help those who help themselves"
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EuroNews)
 
 
 
I'd say this marketing campaign is doomed to fail but Bush's Homestyle does make good lube in an emergency
source: euronews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Today)
 
 
 
Help make a vas deferens in global population - celebrate World Vasectomy Day
source: nationaltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
NASA says inflatable heat shield will help humans on Mars, Mega Man against fight with Iceman
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 17, 2022
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Tom Brady's charitable foundation has done a lot...to help Tom Brady
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"My husband says he would rather pay strangers for sex than have sex with me. Should I start to charge him?" (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly as lap-children: TSA helpfully tells you how to pack your Thanksgiving dinner for air travel; the rest of us question your sanity
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Police manhunt for a person carrying swords and a BB gun in a mall parking lot called off after finding a store in the mall sold them
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 16, 2022
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Joe Welsh wants to end the school to prison pipeline, no word on Don Henley's opinion
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(American Kennel Club)
 
 
 
Want your dog to live forever? Well sorry that's not possible - but you can be involved in a massive research project that aims to help dogs live healthier and longer. Join the Dog Aging Project
source: akc.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
'Programmable molecular scissors' could help fight COVID-19 infection, open up a new employment field for in-utero mohels
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OMG Ubuntu)
 
 
 
Turns out you can enhance blurry license plate, with the help of AI
source: omgubuntu.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nature)
 
 
 
Flu and colds are back with a vengeance because of past pandemic restrictions. Too bad there's no John McClane to help us
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
'All I need is one skilled, ethical lawyer to help my father through his divorce.' Bless your heart
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
If you are finding bald spots and thinning hair, would getting a perm help? An investigation finds... maybe
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
I am shocked, shocked I say, that the board members of an HOA embezzled millions of dollars. Well not that shocked, those fines for putting a pot of flowers in the wrong place had to go somewhere
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 15, 2022
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
It looks like you're trying to dress for a holiday party. Would you like some help with that?
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
Hero
 
What are the odds that JJ Watt would do the right thing?
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
UN developing satellites to track Fark users and their Moms
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 14, 2022
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Drummer Brandon Fried kicked out of The Neighbourhood after groping allegations
source: iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SEScoops)
 
 
 
KO KO'ed
source: sescoops.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Saved baby otter be in pictures, is
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Well it's official, I have the flu. It sucks. Making Jameson Hot Whiskies tonight helps. Share your home remedies below
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 13, 2022
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sam Bankman-Fried tried to help buy Twitter because of course he did
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 12, 2022
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
The couple that accepted $2 billion in Saudi blood money and helped orchestrate a million U.S. Covid deaths would like you forget everything and get back to inviting them to your parties now
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
As we inch ever closer to National Gluttony Day, er, Thanksgiving, someone finally asked why the hell Americans put marshmallows on sweet potatoes
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 11, 2022
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
DOJ asks for Matt Gaetz's wingman Joel Greenberg to get a below federal minimum sentencing as thanks for his cooperation on multiple investigations
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 10, 2022
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Russians admit to holding off making public their Ukrainian pull-back until after the American midterms so as not to help the Dems. Also reporting a new batch of surprise slip-and-falls
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
'Set expectations and goals, don't settle for less, and don't pay for love or a companion' But $8/month will go a long way when you purchase TotalFark
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 09, 2022
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Kentucky AG makes sure to let voters know they made the wrong decision, and he'll help them 'correct' it
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
The "freedom convoy" disrupted life in Canada, but they didn't do it alone - the cops were secretly helping
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Murphy was found abandoned on the side of the road and is currently in a foster home, but he hopes to be living his best life in a forever home in time for Woofday Wetnose Wednesday. Please welcome him and all the awesome folks who have helped out
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
Hero
 
Every single Republican the Democrats helped get the nomination, lost. Mission Accomplished
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
If only there was a site that let you crowdfund financial help for emergencies
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 08, 2022
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Hands reaching out of the dark to help them aboard, voices calling out to them in greeting. Everyone was strangely cheerful-not knowing what I and a few others now knew about the election night MSNBC thread at 7pm ET
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MIT)
 
 
 
If you're managing minimum-wage workers in retail or whatever and still haven't learned these seven common-sense ways to make their lives better (and probably make them better workers too), would hearing it from a top-6 business school help?
source: mitsloan.mit.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Beer could help protect against Alzheimer's disease. Then how come every time I have more than 12 I can't remember anything?
source: earth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The Crypto space is so safe and investible that the major players seem to buy and sell each other every other day
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Election Protection)
 
 
 
Discussion thread for those voting in person today: tell us what you're seeing for turnout, wait times, poll watchers, problems, etc. LGT Election Protection hotline
source: 866ourvote.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Rainy day cocktails, for when that little umbrella ain't going to help outside
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 07, 2022
(NECN Boston)
 
Hero
 
Watch basketball game, save drowning guy, get some sleep, have a healthy breakfast, take your SATs... wait, rewind
source: necn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Officers helped this runaway piggy go wee, wee, wee all the way home
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
When you die, you can now have your remains scattered by drone across the UK. It helps if you're cremated, but it's not as funny
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Aeon.co)
 
 
 
Corporations should take lessons from... the Jesuits? If it helps make next quarter's numbers, I'll "Pie Jesu domine, donna aes requiem *whack*" like crazy
source: