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headlines found matching 'Health'

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Sun August 09, 2020
		He's right you know: Minneapolis Federal Reserve President Neel Kashkari advocates a six-week economic lockdown to defeat the coronavirus source: cnbc.com \| share:	72
		Greatest touring rock band forced to put tour on hold source: billboard.com \| share:	34
		Greatest Health Care System in Greatest Country just got a sick woman evicted for medical bill debt. Fark: Her deceased mother-in-law's source: yahoo.com \| share:	212
		As schools across the country begin to open, word comes that nearly 100,000 kids in the U.S. tested positive for COVID-19 in just the last two weeks of July. Not even sure which GIF to use for this story source: cbsnews.com \| share:	157
		"What's the matter with you Yanks? You used to be cool" source: apnews.com \| share:	111
		"What's the matter with you Yanks? You used to be cool" source: apnews.com \| share:	111

Sat August 08, 2020
		Mission Accomplished source: thehill.com \| share:	56

Fri August 07, 2020
		Welp, guess MA was a bit too quick to fire all those contact tracers source: wbur.org \| share:	15
		"As Gov. Ron DeSantis pushed this summer for schools to reopen, state leaders told school boards they would need Health Department approval if they wanted to keep classrooms closed. Then they instructed health directors not to give it" source: usatoday.com \| share:	65
		Is it REALLY a festival if there's only 250 people allowed? source: cbc.ca \| share:	18
		Other sports might claim to take skill, but science proves it. Hitting a baseball is the hardest thing to do in any sport, anywhere source: popsci.com \| share:	19
		How Middle Zealand got rid of Covid-19 source: theconversation.com \| share:	74
		Packers cut the cheeseheads from attending their first two games due to coronavirus source: packers.com \| share:	12

Thu August 06, 2020
		Uh-oh. The WaPo "fact checker" caught Chuck Schumer making a slightly inaccurate statement on cable television, so you know what that means. BSAB, vote Republican, and Trump gets to be Emperor for Life source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	27
		Calpers CIO misses return targets and quits after less than two years, saying he wanted to focus on his health and family. Also, some other jackass already nabbed the "creative differences" excuse source: msn.com \| share:	11
		Bausch Health shares soar after confirming it's selling its eye-care business in a move nobody saw coming source: marketwatch.com \| share:	2
		REM tunes eating behavior, especially their older stuff where you can't understand the words source: eurekalert.org \| share:	11
		American healthcare companies are experiencing an "embarrassment of profits" related to the pandemic. Soon to be experiencing an "embarrassment of laughter" after being asked to consider lowering premiums for their customers source: nytimes.com \| share:	41
		"Will you feed us something healthy?" "Will you feed us something healthy?" "Will you feed us something healthy?" "Will you feed us something healthy?" "Will you feed us something healthy?" "Will you feed us something healthy?" source: eurekalert.org \| share:	14
		Face mask mandates won't work if we don't educate the morons opposed to them source: vox.com \| share:	112
		Zookeepers bamboozled as pandas not bamboozled enough source: cbc.ca \| share:	23

Wed August 05, 2020
		Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer has a new executive directive declaring Racism a public health crisis "The pandemic has confirmed and highlighted the deadly nature of these pre-existing inequalities caused by systemic racism" source: mlive.com \| share:	79
		Think of the children source: koaa.com \| share:	31
		The Colorado State football program may be covering-up COVID-19 cases source: yardbarker.com \| share:	5
		Epic Systems ordering 9,000 employees back to work despite Covid-19 concerns and fear of "untold deaths." When asked about Coronavirus, an Epic spokesman replied "What is it?" source: chicagotribune.com \| share:	48
		Epic Systems ordering 9,000 employees back to work despite Covid-19 concerns and fear of "untold deaths." When asked about Coronavirus, an Epic spokesman replied "What is it?" source: chicagotribune.com \| share:	48
		Show Me state-funded healthcare source: vox.com \| share:	50
		Telehealth company Teladoc buying Livongo for $18.5 billion, already planning longer hold times source: msn.com \| share:	3
		Illinois social event may have exposed people to Covid 19. Fark: Event called "White Trash Bash" source: centralillinoisproud.com \| share:	47
		You coronavirus clean freaks, don't expect to see any Clorox wipes until 2021 source: reuters.com \| share:	14
		Headline:"Get a bird feeder, and don't overthink it." Article most likely written by squirrels source: lifehacker.com \| share:	25

Tue August 04, 2020
		NYC health commissioner tells the mayor to take this job and shove it, I ain't socially distancing here no more source: nytimes.com \| share:	8
		Canada's Chief Public Health Officer, Dr. Theresa Tam, says even with a vaccine, Canada has a 3 year plan before the werewolf problem will be under control source: cbc.ca \| share:	25
		"High Performance Family" in Aspen, Colorado wants to hire a parent for their kids. Must be expert skier and hockey player source: careerbuilder.com \| share:	61
		Anti maskers have been around 100 years. In 1918 a health official shot one on the street source: tampabay.com \| share:	48
		Health care, manufacturing, food processing, and warehouse workers to teachers: STFU and GBTW ya snowflakes source: theatlantic.com \| share:	160
		Hey, Elon, is your refrigerator running? source: cnet.com \| share:	26
		If you build it, they will...have to wait until next year source: nfl.com \| share:	12
		Lockdown study reports surge in health anxieties, days spent at home ending in "Y" source: eurekalert.org \| share:	4
		The official COVID-19 case count in Texas is short by at least tens of thousands of cases source: houstonchronicle.com \| share:	44

Mon August 03, 2020
		Expensive Indoor Farming pioneered in the Garden State source: abc7ny.com \| share:	9
		Expensive Indoor Farming pioneered in the Garden State source: abc7ny.com \| share:	9
(Some Guy)		Today is National Grab Some Nuts Day, the one day of the year where the Fark Squirrel is at his most nervous source: nationaldaycalendar.com \| share:	22

Sun August 02, 2020
		Texas Governor Gregg Abbot refuses to stand and be counted for Trump at the Republican National Convention source: thehill.com \| share:	49
		Who's keeping track of how many health care workers are dying of Covid-19? The CDC? HHS? OSHA? No, just this one anesthesiologist who stays up late at night reading obituaries source: propublica.org \| share:	60
		Turns out Trump's big healthcare plan involves hitting par on the course source: twitter.com \| share:	85
		Madrid Open isn't source: uk.reuters.com \| share:	1
		Fringe science group urges schools to reopen despite pandemic source: cnbc.com \| share:	165

Sat August 01, 2020
		Wilford Brimley dead at 85, but the diabeetus memes will live forever source: amp.tmz.com \| share:	138
		Put on your masks, ya deutschebags source: apnews.com \| share:	112
		Let's tour the world's largest indoor vertical farm that's addressing food inequity ...in where else but the Garden State source: abc7ny.com \| share:	44
		Let's tour the world's largest indoor vertical farm that's addressing food inequity ...in where else but the Garden State source: abc7ny.com \| share:	44

Fri July 31, 2020
		San Francisco is proactively building a COVID hospital for the NEXT surge in patients. Tag is for our 'fight' against the virus source: kron4.com \| share:	14
		San Francisco is proactively building a COVID hospital for the NEXT surge in patients. Tag is for our 'fight' against the virus source: kron4.com \| share:	14
		After a series sweep against the Marlins, COVID hits the road to take on the Cardinals source: espn.com \| share:	24
		Racism declared public health crisis in Colorado, state pasttime in Alabama source: denverpost.com \| share:	41
		MENTAL HEALTH THREAD. Are you struggling with pandemic-related mental health issues? Let's support each other while the world burns around us. Farkers gotta stick together. LGT the only thing keeping me going source: youtube.com \| share:	77
		Florida Marlins finally take lead. Marlins-20, Covid-19 source: cbssports.com \| share:	33
		Old and busted: kids writing "How I spent my summer" essays for their teachers. 2020 hotness: teachers writing their own obituaries for the governor source: msn.com \| share:	39
		Pennsylvania encouraging healthcare providers to use a "weighted lottery" system based on socioeconomic status to determine who gets lifesaving drugs. You'll never guess which side of the scale they are placing their thumb source: foxnews.com \| share:	199

Thu July 30, 2020
		A Tennessee state senator has been charged with stealing more than $600,000 in federal funds received by a health care company she directed and using the money to pay for her wedding and other personal expenses. Difficulty: She's a Democrat source: finance.yahoo.com \| share:	119
		If you like microplastic in your oysters / And kerosene, paint, talc, and milk supplement powders / Have we got the seafood for you / Burma-Shellfish source: phys.org \| share:	6
		If you've dreamed of having a job that will turn you into an insufferable bore for a month, then have we got a deal for you source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	10

Wed July 29, 2020
		Not wanting to put people in jeopardy in this wheel of fortune we call life, game shows announce plans for guests to come on down once again source: nypost.com \| share:	15
(Some Guy)		Hosts of underage drinking party say they didn't intend to host a "COVID Party," just a crowded house party with people from multiple states, lots of alcohol, and no masks. And that girl they let in said she only had strep. Well okay, then source: nbcboston.com \| share:	48
		COVID 19, Marlins 18. What a comeback story source: espn.com \| share:	11
		Unhealthy diets are 'slow-motion disaster,' but can some with extra cheese source: bbc.com \| share:	9
		COVID Kayla jumps in her car and does everything that she can do to spread disease from Florida to as many states as possible source: wbur.org \| share:	80
		Play stupid games, win half your restaurants closing permanently cause you couldn't do what every other business did and shutter during a health emergency source: denverpost.com \| share:	67

Tue July 28, 2020
		If the game happens, Ohio State announces that most Ohio State fans who watched them beat Michigan in person last season will be able to watch them do so in person this season source: si.com \| share:	7
		It's becoming increasingly evident that the 2020 MLB champion isn't going to be via World Series, rather the team that grabs the ropes and stands up like the end of Rocky II source: usatoday.com \| share:	18
		Texas AG decides that since County Health Boards are closing schools, he'll take away their ability to close schools. Also, re-names the three Rs to Repression, Religion, and Rigor Mortis source: texastribune.org \| share:	23
		The Senate HEELS Act will include another $1,200 check delivered to you by either Rowdy Roddy Piper or the Iron Sheik source: cnbc.com \| share:	73
		Rob Gronkowski has gone off the grid in Marion County TN source: wrcbtv.com \| share:	6
		"My friend has been quarantining alone for months. She's convinced that she's having an emotional relationship with a ghost living inside her apartment and that there is a sexual component to it. Should I be concerned about her mental health?" source: slate.com \| share:	29
		click We die source: npr.org \| share:	77

Mon July 27, 2020
		Teachers, bus drivers, health aides, and other school workers around the country doing everything they can to fight the Trump Administration's "school death trap" that awaits them this fall source: newrepublic.com \| share:	91
		Seventeen anesthesiology residents at one of Florida's "premier" university hospital systems went to a party and got COVID-19. Meanwhile, you flunked trigonometry, but at least you know to wear a mask and stay home source: wuft.org \| share:	68
		As the pandemic rages on in the US, Americans are reducing their estimates of what makes a person rich to an average of two-million dollars. By next year expect that average to be measured by who's wearing the best barrel source: cnbc.com \| share:	18
		Here's a British plague story, just to keep things interesting. Also subby's 'hood when a yout source: theguardian.com \| share:	26
		Why have Scotland's pubs opened before its gyms? Owners say that's crap source: bbc.com \| share:	12
		Why have Scotland's pubs opened before its gyms? Owners say that's crap source: bbc.com \| share:	12

Sun July 26, 2020
		DeSantis derided descientists and defacts to dedicate deresponse to DeTrump source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	51

Sat July 25, 2020
		25 mask wearers with assorted health conditions explain why if they can wear a mask, so can YOU source: god.dailydot.com \| share:	23
		Reasons men are going to sexual health clinics have changed over the last decade. Most men now face low batting averages and pitching nothing but curve balls. Back then it was broken bats and unforced errors source: fastcompany.com \| share:	46

Fri July 24, 2020
		Walmart is opening at least six more health clinics in Atlanta by the end of the year, won't comment on if it's being sued by the gubberner for wearing masks source: cnbc.com \| share:	3
		It's tomato season again, so I must consult the collective wisdom of Fark. Do you slice tomatoes longitudenally or latitudenially for putting on a sandwitch? source: fark.com \| share:	32
		The health, well-being, and food security of families is crumbling under the stress from the 'rona. If the booze supply dries up we're all doomed source: medicalxpress.com \| share:	4
		Who knew there's a "provision of the Occupational Safety and Health Act that allows workers to sue the secretary of labor for 'arbitrarily or capriciously' failing to counteract imminent dangers?" Meat packing workers near Scranton, that's who source: propublica.org \| share:	34
		It's better in the Bahamas. Not that you'll ever get the chance to compare source: avweb.com \| share:	15

Thu July 23, 2020
		How do exponential curves work again? source: ktla.com \| share:	76
		This train wreck isn't going fly into the twin towers by itself, says Mrs. Dumpsterfire 2017 source: ktla.com \| share:	31
		How to talk to maskless covidiots source: nytimes.com \| share:	24
		'Chick-Fil-A leads Colorado fast food joints in COVID-19 outbreaks, and it isn't even close' source: kdvr.com \| share:	62
		"Silent spread of virus keeps scientists grasping for clues", victims gasping for air source: apnews.com \| share:	22
		Anna Camp: "I didn't wear a mask outside just this one time. Oops" source: cinemablend.com \| share:	34

Wed July 22, 2020
		Bipartisan support for masks is on the rise thanks to common sense source: politico.com \| share:	48
		New research claims backseat drivers are helpful source: metro.co.uk \| share:	8
		Public Health: I know you want to reopen schools, Governor, but we have a TON of new cases every day. Governor: No problem, we'll just stop testing source: kcci.com \| share:	54

Tue July 21, 2020
		Mental Health Experts at NRO: "Why Kanye Can Be Healthy for American Politics." Bipolar episode + too much money is never a good thing source: nationalreview.com \| share:	44
		Apparently never having had to wait their turn for a procedure, UK surgeons are getting impatient source: bbc.com \| share:	2
		Apparently never having had to wait their turn for a procedure, UK surgeons are getting impatient source: bbc.com \| share:	2
		Great news, everybody. Cinnabon is now a health food store source: cnn.com \| share:	9
		The secret to immortality might be pasta source: salon.com \| share:	26

Mon July 20, 2020
		King Salman admitted for tests. Tastes great with butter. Should be served fresh source: foxnews.com \| share:	32
		"Mike Pence doesn't think CDC guidelines should impede schools opening? What exactly are they for? These're public health guidelines & shouldn't be skimmed and ultimately deemed inconsequential to our current situation. They're not Mary Trump's book" source: deadline.com \| share:	45

Sun July 19, 2020
		Old and busted: fire station on fire. New, hot and short of breath: COVID-19 outbreak in COVID-19 track and trace call centre source: bbc.co.uk \| share:	21
		Only in America can you have a story about 1.5 million healthcare workers being laid off during a pandemic source: nbcnews.com \| share:	141

Sat July 18, 2020
		Drowning coyote pup saved by rafter and nursed back to health. Yipyip is doing OK source: nypost.com \| share:	7
		Drowning coyote pup saved by rafter and nursed back to health. Yipyip is doing OK source: nypost.com \| share:	7
(Some Foodie)		Eating inside restaurants is why Orange County and much of the rest of California had to close again source: voiceofoc.org \| share:	29

Fri July 17, 2020
		You'd think the director of the Centers for Disease Control would be a good person to have testify at Congressional school re-opening hearings. But Trump's White House says you'd be wrong source: politico.com \| share:	25
		Governor of Louisiana says "Wear a mask". Louisiana AG says "Don't listen to the governor." Lafayette, LA Mayor says "Hi I'm Bobby Newport" source: katc.com \| share:	23
		GameStop will require both remaining customers to wear facemasks source: kotaku.com \| share:	13
		Neither virus, masks, social distancing, or potential lack of pills shall keep Elvis Week from loving fans tender source: apnews.com \| share:	2
		In the nasty, but largely under the radar cage match between HHS Sec Alex Azar and CMS Director Seema Verna, Verma has recently seized the upper hand by getting the WH on HER side, but the HHS IG just snuck in and whacked her with a folding chair source: politico.com \| share:	19
		2020: The year of living stupidly source: wthr.com \| share:	90
		Ikea has begun assembling plant-based meatballs source: foodandwine.com \| share:	14
		Confectioner Cadbury says it's reducing the size - but not the price - of its candies. You know, for safety source: bbc.com \| share:	33
		72 NFL players are ready for Covid season source: thehill.com \| share:	21

Thu July 16, 2020
		In Georgia, where the governor just overruled municipal mask mandates, they are exporting patients to others state's hospitals. Is that Blue Oyster Cult on the radio? source: npr.org \| share:	40
		First Lady continues to grow and contribute to her community source: apnews.com \| share:	14
		Oh, so you're a state public health spokesperson? No problem. You gave real answers to media questions about COVID-19? That's a firing source: kcci.com \| share:	15
		We're at the "refrigerated trucks" handle morgue overflow overture in Texas's reprisal of New York's Pandemic in Springtime source: cnn.com \| share:	57
		U.S. coronavirus data has already disappeared after Trump administration shifted control from CDC to HHS source: cnbc.com \| share:	118
		"Enrollment down at Cranberry school due to pandemic". Why cranberries have their own school not clear source: wtae.com \| share:	39
		Magaluf closes bars "for the rest of the year" because Britons don't know how to party safely source: metro.co.uk \| share:	11
		Dr. Fauci's wife Christine Grady has had just about ENOUGH of these attacks on her husband, and, as head of Department of Bioethics at the NIH, if ANYBODY has access to an evil clone army or mutant super-serum, it's her source: thehill.com \| share:	26
		Almost 1/3 of all children tested in Florida are positive for Coronavirus source: thehill.com \| share:	130
		We are now down to just one drink a day. Time to get a bigger glass source: boston.com \| share:	50

Wed July 15, 2020
		Just a little healthy retribution against an actual patriot source: nbcnews.com \| share:	37
		Coronavirus leads to fewer coffin nails source: bbc.com \| share:	37
		Okay, big sigh of relief, everyone: Ruth Bader Ginsburg has been discharged from hospital and is doing well source: cnn.com \| share:	78
		French healthcare workers collectively bargain for $9 billion in pay raises. For the Americans, collective bargaining is a negotiation between an employer and a labor union usually on wages, hours, and working conditions. You should try it some time source: cnn.com \| share:	21
		Without having to actually pay for, you know, actual surgeries and doctor's visits, the US' largest health insurer more than doubled its profit in Q2 source: apnews.com \| share:	19
		Squeeze over the crowd limit in Corona times, better have that 25 grand ready for the fine. Some places take health regulations seriously and you may find they won't think its cool when your app invites 500 to show up to your pad source: stripes.com \| share:	10
		Australian ICUs are saving 85% of their COVID-19 patients. But you wouldn't want to live there, because we all know nationalised healthcare is the worst, amiright? source: theage.com.au \| share:	72

Tue July 14, 2020
		RBG is in the hospital, everybody panic. Seriously, everybody panic source: cnn.com \| share:	209
		Burger King to battle climate change by A: Using more recyclable packaging? B: Making more plant-based sandwiches? or C: Feeding cows lemongrass? source: news.sky.com \| share:	15
(In These Times)		We're about to have an unemployment crisis, eviction crisis, health crisis, child care crisis, and business failure crisis all feeding each other, and the federal government does not particularly seem to care source: inthesetimes.com \| share:	104
		Governor Cuomo welcomes Jimmy Fallon back to New York City as The Tonight Show returns to the studio source: deadline.com \| share:	18
		DeSantis deheckled during depress conference by devoters source: mediaite.com \| share:	69
		Disney presents their new Russian Roulette ride, offering mask-free Covid-19 zones for guests to relax and ... cough cough ... excuse me, I don't feel so hot source: fox13news.com \| share:	23
		Seldom is the question asked, Is our school board a idiots? source: ktla.com \| share:	74

Mon July 13, 2020
		A record 5.4 million Americans have lost their health insurance in the pandemic. World's greatest healthcare system, ladies and gentlemen source: nytimes.com \| share:	117
		Weird. It's almost though a for-profit health system in a state with little oversight makes inadequate staffing and neglect of patients inevitable. And then fatal if a pandemic shows up. Who could have guessed? source: texasobserver.org \| share:	36
		Because what 2020 needs is disturbing an Indian burial site source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	39
		IPA beer drinkers more likely to be adventurous, study claims. Of course, so are folks who eat head cheese, fried crickets, and swallow tide pods source: foxnews.com \| share:	20

Sun July 12, 2020
		There are proper ways to clean grocery store shopping baskets. This would not be one of them source: toronto.citynews.ca \| share:	68
(Some nice smelling dog shampoos)		My dogs now smell like dryer sheets, and it's fantastic. What's your favorite shampoo to get rid of hound-stank? source: petag.com \| share:	50

Sat July 11, 2020
		Mom who didn't listen to anti-vaxxer warnings vows not to make same mistake of listening to experts again source: pennlive.com \| share:	164
		Most glorious nation of Kazakhstan says Chinese are know-nothings and there is no new deadly virus is most wonderful and healthy nation source: cnn.com \| share:	66
		Trump campaign actively discourages staff from discussing Coronavirus, wearing masks, or admitting they're sick source: politicususa.com \| share:	60

Fri July 10, 2020
		All right New Zealand Farker, reveal yourself in the comments source: cnn.com \| share:	30
		Nearly half of US adults projected to be Wall-E extras by 2030 source: medicalxpress.com \| share:	27
		North Korean despot Kim Jong-un is not dead, he's just in zombie form after visiting his grandad Kim Il-Sung's memorial site. His sister has taken over the day-to-day as she seeks an end to US summit to prove she's in control (possible nsfw content on page) source: dailystar.co.uk \| share:	28
		Put on your shocked face...Trump wrote the health report he used for his election source: yahoo.com \| share:	95
		Mississippi - one of the states with the fewest health care resources - announces that its five largest hospitals have run out of ICU beds source: wkrg.com \| share:	87
		Sheriff on why he won't give masks to jail inmates: "They're going to eat them" source: al.com \| share:	28
		"Whatever you call it, the natural byproduct of human digestion - feces, fecal material, poo or poop - is a true indicator of internal health." Tag is for when you eat too much cheese source: bangordailynews.com \| share:	53

Thu July 09, 2020
		Last month, angry OC residents forced the resignation of their chief health officer, even threatening her with death for daring to require masks. It looks like as they sowed, so shall they be reaped source: ktla.com \| share:	91
		The Big Ten announces they will only play with themselves this fall source: bigten.org \| share:	49
		"Dumbass Dog Wearing Face Mask All Wrong" source: theonion.com \| share:	48
		These are your lungs...these are your lungs with Possible COVID-19 based pneumonia...any questions? source: boredpanda.com \| share:	7
		Silly contact tracers, everyone knows that 5G causes Covid-19 source: networkworld.com \| share:	3
		Planned Parenthood wishes it could abort Kanye West source: nme.com \| share:	30
		Planned Parenthood wishes it could abort Kanye West source: nme.com \| share:	30
		You'll never guess where the new epicenter for the world dystopia is source: thehill.com \| share:	88
		TSA employee blows whistle over inadequate COVID-19 precautions. TSA Administrator does the surprising thing source: sfgate.com \| share:	21

Wed July 08, 2020
		Zimbabwe's health minister is fired over a virus-linked equipment scam. White House last seen taking notes, preparing job offer source: msn.com \| share:	1
		You are not alone; many experience a reptile dysfunction source: cnet.com \| share:	1
		Walmart just announced it's getting into health insurance. You will never see an orderly waiting room or non-mouthbreathing nurse again source: marketwatch.com \| share:	27
		Restaurant owner and House candidate Lauren Boebert (Q-Colorado) got 80 people food poisoning with diarrhea back in 2017 source: postindependent.com \| share:	46
		Nothing ominous here. Just 1/3rd of Americans didn't make their rent or mortgage payments for July source: cnbc.com \| share:	206
		In which the UK government announces bold plans to charge NHS employees for parking while at work source: theguardian.com \| share:	32

Tue July 07, 2020
		UT Austin, which is currently planning to have students in dorms and in F2F classes, and which has no real plan for what to do about bathrooms other than have custodial staff clean them a lot....just had its first death from COVID. A custodian source: kxan.com \| share:	46

Mon July 06, 2020
		Fiji reports its first coronavirus case in 78 days. There's always that ONE GUY source: medicalxpress.com \| share:	15
		Don't worry J.K. Rowling issues another statement to attempt to dig up. "Young people struggling with their mental health are being shunted towards hormones and surgery when this may not be in their best interests." Her publicist seen weeping source: twitter.com \| share:	135

Sat July 04, 2020
		News: Arizona Department of Health demands that 3 gyms comply with shutdown order and close within 26 minutes, or face legal action. Fark: "Liquor licenses at two gyms were suspended as a result of their continued operation over the last few days" source: cnn.com \| share:	73

Fri July 03, 2020
		The first NASCAR driver to report positive for COVID-19 is Jimmie Johnson. The Nasfark Idol is out of control, people source: nascar.com \| share:	29
		How to redesign the world for Coronavirus source: politico.com \| share:	24
		It's almost as if having universal health care, a competent government, nonpartisanism, and deference to experts makes a difference source: cnn.com \| share:	205
		Looks like it's gonna be harder to vote in Alabama thanks to new Supreme Court ruling source: thehill.com \| share:	28
		If you stole highly toxic rat poison from an exterminator's van in England, authorities want to warn you you'll probably die source: metro.co.uk \| share:	25
		You should tip at least 50% if you go to a restaurant or get takeout source: grubstreet.com \| share:	64
		Fiat Chrysler to assembly-line workers: The coronavirus will continue until morale improves source: jalopnik.com \| share:	5

Thu July 02, 2020
		Ice melts source: thehill.com \| share:	38
		While you're swimming, perhaps. Otherwise, NO source: apnews.com \| share:	32
		The planning phase for school reopenings in the San Francisco Bay Area is proceeding in the stupidest but somehow most appropriate possible way source: mercurynews.com \| share:	47
		Depiction of 25-years-hence remote worker looks eerily familiar source: foxnews.com \| share:	15
		Remember Trump's rally in Tulsa? "Health-care workers were quizzed about whether they had leaked the information about the positive cases to the news media - and then were given a different list of people to test" source: ctpost.com \| share:	72
		Cam Newton, enjoy your life in the Boston sports media hot zone for the next six months. "The only thing surprising has been the speed with which the first horrible sports radio segment got to air" - hey, they're just Doing Their Job source: awfulannouncing.com \| share:	30
		Yale study supported by the National Institute of Health: Official U.S. coronavirus death toll is a lie source: cnbc.com \| share:	97
		I want to see the 2020 NHL finals. Do you? Toronto and Edmonton as host cities. Will the players vote for it? If not go Jets source: cbc.ca \| share:	19
		Governor Florida Man says Florida will not re-close. "I think when you see the younger folks, I think a lot of it is more just social interactions, so that's natural." Spontaneous combustion is also natural source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	48

Wed July 01, 2020
		Now there's absolutely no reason to go to Austin, TX source: rollingstone.com \| share:	23
		Kids don't really carry the virus. Daycare centers: Hold my glitter macaroni art while I lick the Jungle Jim source: dallasnews.com \| share:	34
		Kiss My Bezos; Detroit Amazon delivery driver quits midshift via Twitter rant on Uber ride home, informing interested parties where to score a half-full truck with keys in the ignition source: wxyz.com \| share:	209
		Man hospitalized after overdosing on horse anesthetic stolen from vet. Doctors say the man is now in stable condition source: metro.co.uk \| share:	42
		Man hospitalized after overdosing on horse anesthetic stolen from vet. Doctors say the man is now in stable condition source: metro.co.uk \| share:	42

Tue June 30, 2020
		"Congratulations, it's a happy, healthy, bouncing 50-pound cyst" source: cbsnews.com \| share:	43
		With the exception of Presidents Lincoln and Roosevelt, there will be no social distancing at Trump's 3rd of July Mount Rushmore event. Yeah, I'm not going to tell him Independence Day is on the 4th either source: nbcnews.com \| share:	54
		Ohio Face-Eating Leopard Party goes cannibal because the F-ELP governor supports healthy faces covered in masks instead of uncovered and diseased faces source: dispatch.com \| share:	50
		Unemployment makes it very clear that universal health care would be a benefit to all source: nytimes.com \| share:	287

Mon June 29, 2020
		Diamondbacks pitcher Mike Leake, last seen injuring himself in freak offseason incident with his dog, is first MLB player to nope out of 2020 season restart, will not receive salary or service time source: mlb.com \| share:	13
(Some Guy)		These are the Pros and Cons of pea-eating source: mashed.com \| share:	17
		More good news from the World Health Organization, they're now saying "the worst is yet to come" in the fight against the coronavirus, and that "the pandemic is actually speeding up" source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	76
		Cirque du Soleil runs out of Soleil source: usatoday.com \| share:	33
		Beluga whale spotted off San Diego is farthest south the species has been documented on West Coast source: fox5sandiego.com \| share:	23
		Oklahoma voters who brave the pandemic and go to the polls tomorrow will get to decide if giving free healthcare to 200,000 of their fellow citizens, roughly 1/3 of the state's population, sounds like a good idea or not source: politico.com \| share:	53
		You see, when an old, white trump supporter yells "WHITE POWER" it doesn't mean what you think it means because source: washingtonexaminer.com \| share:	108
		Wilson Chandler opts out of resuming the NBA season because he wants to spend more time with his family. It also helps that no one knows who Wilson Chandler is source: espn.com \| share:	3
		Trader Joe's Tiffany of Los Angeles defends herself, saying she had a good reason for her sociopathic disregard for the health and well-being of her fellow shoppers source: abc7.com \| share:	157
		Here they come source: cnet.com \| share:	24

Sun June 28, 2020
		Good news coming from Trump's HHS secretary Alex Azar: We're all going to die from the coronavirus and you'll be lucky if you live though it as a zombie: 'Window closing for us to take action' source: cnn.com \| share:	119
		Trying to explain to the wife how you got COVID19 got a bit more awkward for those living in Vancouver source: cbc.ca \| share:	44
		Seniors in Florida battle it out with NSFW language and not safe for pandemic health guideline adherence source: twitter.com \| share:	78

Sat June 27, 2020
		Screams into the void source: pbs.org \| share:	97
		Div II Morehouse College will not be playing more football in 2020 source: espn.com \| share:	10
		This one has even Ric Romero shaking his head and saying "Yeah, we know" source: cnbc.com \| share:	10
		Covid-19 is a stress test for the USA's health care system, and it might just break source: nytimes.com \| share:	143
		Roger Stone to be pardoned by July 13 source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	62

Fri June 26, 2020
		Scientists at the No S*** Sherlock Institute determine that smoking, divorce and alcohol abuse are the factors most closely associated with dying source: news.ubc.ca \| share:	31
		How COVIDiots across the US are bullying health officials into supporting their demands source: statnews.com \| share:	64
		American Airlines will stop limiting seat capacity on flights beginning July 1. Don't worry - these things usually self-correct source: marketscreener.com \| share:	15
		Meanwhile the covid crisis continues to crush Canada. Wait, what's that? Only a 100 or so cases in all of Ontario today... Make that, Canada continues to crush the covid source: toronto.ctvnews.ca \| share:	176
		Meanwhile the covid crisis continues to crush Canada. Wait, what's that? Only a 100 or so cases in all of Ontario today... Make that, Canada continues to crush the covid source: toronto.ctvnews.ca \| share:	176
(Some Guy)		White House Coronavirus Task Force gets the band back together to hold another briefing after breaking up weeks ago source: jwp.io \| share:	510
		Co-founder of ReOpen Maryland movement: "I was diagnosed yesterday at the ER with COVID-19 and here I am months after not wearing a mask at rallies, churches and so on and so it's funny how capricious this thing is" source: capitalgazette.com \| share:	141
		Trump is making our economic, public health, and racial crises worse. Being judged for that is causing him stress. And stress is making Trump more Trumpy. It's the circle of strife source: theatlantic.com \| share:	40
		Customer to restaurant owner: why are the staff not wearing masks? Restaurant owner to customer: don't come back. Health Department to restaurant owner: here are 11 violations we found source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com \| share:	25
		300 teens possibly exposed to COVID-19 at Texas 'Pongfest' party source: kxan.com \| share:	39
		Houston, we have a problem: All ICU beds are occupied source: khou.com \| share:	121
		Big government for me but not for thee source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	18

Thu June 25, 2020
		You know things have gotten bad when the people who poured millions of dollars into lying about government-run health care actually admit they made a mistake source: threadreaderapp.com \| share:	66
(Some Guy)		The transformation of a lost sick dog into a happy healthy pupper (Dust Warning, CAT 4) source: ifunny.co \| share:	3
		Not news: Health insurer kicks back premium cash. Fark: to the insured source: apnews.com \| share:	4
		GAO to Bureau of Land Management: So, just how much Gold, Silver, and Copper are private companies mining from public lands without having to pay even a penny in royalties for? Bureau of Land Management: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ source: thehill.com \| share:	29
		We now go to the UK, where unlike in reckless America, people maintain social distancing and care about the health of their fellow -- OH DEAR GOD source: twitter.com \| share:	90
		A 5-minute urine test can reveal the quality of your diet and whether it's the best fit for your body. But who can pee for five minutes? source: eurekalert.org \| share:	57
		"If you value your health, do not believe the president" source: mediaite.com \| share:	32
		Seems the burn unit is handling the Ottawa Health twitter account source: twitter.com \| share:	14
		"Djokovic's folly is a lesson to the world" source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	9

Wed June 24, 2020
		Judge orders president to wear a mask: "He has a constitutional obligation to follow the laws as well as to promote the general welfare of the people, which means taking measures to protect citizens' right to health," -difficulty: not the US source: thehill.com \| share:	33
		You otter watch these critters eating a healthy breakfast source: nerdist.com \| share:	5
		Trump's White House wins ruling on health care, and surprisingly it's not a plan to grind up newborn babies to power Kellyanne Conway's soul for another week, it's actually . . . huh, it's actually a good thing? Is that possible? source: mynews13.com \| share:	36
		🌈 Save The Stonewall 🌈 source: rollingstone.com \| share:	9
		Everything's bigger in Texas, including the number of demands from locals for the federal government to keep supporting COVID-19 testing sites in the state. Seems like they haven't bought into the idea that cases will drop if they just stop testing source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	47
		Small businesses are facing a cash crunch post-lockdown source: axios.com \| share:	7
		Yakima County, Washington is the latest to run out of hospital beds from treating COVID-19 source: cbsnews.com \| share:	26

Tue June 23, 2020
		Po-tay-toes are new-tri-shus with or without their skins source: foodandwine.com \| share:	17
		If you are noticing a few hundred less tweets a day from Trump lately, it's because he's increasingly being preoccupied with defending his physical and mental health these days source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	86
		"My mom is an independent contractor and lost most of her business during the pandemic; I worry her mental health is deteriorating and she needs help. How can I get her to accept this?" source: theatlantic.com \| share:	5
		Dead man had mental illness, paranoia, and fear of police. Of course, since the police killed him while checking on his mental health, perhaps he wasn't paranoid after all source: bbc.com \| share:	118
		Saudi Arabia, proving that it prefers to cut the population down to size on an artisanal rather than industrial scale, cancels the Hajj pilgrimage source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	64

Mon June 22, 2020
		HHS hires McKinsey to audit the almost $200 billion in emergency relief funds given to hospitals in the pandemic relief bill. By a shocking coincidence many of those hospitals have highly lucrative contracts with...yep. Mckinsey source: politico.com \| share:	12
		Best Virginia won't be playing basketball due to the 'rona source: espn.com \| share:	11
		If your state took 9 weeks to reach 50,000 COVID-19 cases, but four weeks and a day to reach 100,000 cases, you might be from Florida source: npr.org \| share:	110
		Scotland says it may take company stakes to keep them from turning into crap source: msn.com \| share:	3
		White House will still host Fourth of July event this year, despite pandemic. In other news, people apparently checking Tik Tok for info on tickets source: wcnc.com \| share:	60
		Small and medium businesses are feeling the brunt of lockdown pain, but then again, they're not getting multi-$billion bailouts for their stonk prices and execs either source: reuters.com \| share:	1

Sun June 21, 2020
		The pandemic has made one thing abundently clear: Nursing homes, along with every other American business "struggling" to find workers need to pay a living wage to employees, including comprehensive health care source: npr.org \| share:	56

Sat June 20, 2020
		Coughchella 2020 is here! Trump promotes Volksgerminderp, live from Tulsa. 8pm ET start source: cbsnews.com \| share:	1785
		Food bank receives 33-year-old can of anchovies source: foxnews.com \| share:	33
		Oklahoma man quarantined in Hawaii dies in Spitting Caves. Strange, you'd think Swallowing Caves would have got him instead source: khon2.com \| share:	25

Fri June 19, 2020
(Parade)		Once they awoke from their naps, really old people shared the secrets to living a vibrant healthy life to 100 source: parade.com \| share:	22
		"'We have a window into his cognitive process already.' That would be Twitter" source: wired.com \| share:	65
		That six feet college socially distant rule will be broken the first time someone says I got some beer in my dorm source: nbcphiladelphia.com \| share:	36
		Kid Rock's "Big Honky Tonk Steakhouse" in Nashville, TN has its beer permit yanked for Covid-related health code violations. In other news, simply being a restaurant owned by Kid Rock somehow isn't its own health code violation source: thehill.com \| share:	68
		An historic pandemic originates in your country. Should you: C) Blast a neighboring country with a sustained cyber assault targeting a wide variety of institutions, including healthcare source: nbcnews.com \| share:	58
		No, but if he wants to take it that way, it's fine by me source: cnbc.com \| share:	45

Thu June 18, 2020
		Nebraska governor threatens to withhold covid funds from localities that care about public health source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	71
		Emails show Pence had CDC director call Colorado state health officials and talk them into letting meat packing plant reopen, which promptly became a virus hotspot source: kdvr.com \| share:	27

Wed June 17, 2020
		Rick Romero Institute for Contact Tracing discovers that homeowners don't answer phone call from numbers they don't recognize source: thehill.com \| share:	49
		Texas coronavirus hospitalizations jump 11% in one day. Gov. Greg Abbott: "All is well, remain calm" source: cnbc.com \| share:	85
		October-surprise Donnie really wants a vaccine because he really cares about Americans living and not-at-all about winning in November. He wants it so much that he doesn't care how many have to die in the process. OK, hold that Bible source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	53
		Fact-checking Rep. Talib's claim Detroit spends $9 mil on healthcare and $300 mil on police: It's true, but a lot of healthcare spending comes from grants and federal money, and if you factor that in, they only spend 10x as much on cops as healthcare source: freep.com \| share:	58
		These young men are working together by baking dog treats & selling them to neighbors, with all proceeds going to a local food bank. So far they've raised $250 & have 50 orders in the queue. Let's give them a hand this Woofday Wetnose Wednesday source: wcvb.com \| share:	192
		For those Las Vegas casino executives yearning to open up, maybe they should take a look at the ones in Arizona first source: abc15.com \| share:	28

Tue June 16, 2020
		For those of you who were questioning why the CDC told us that face masks weren't necessary when the pandemic started, only to hear them say they're imperative for the safety and wellbeing of your health, we now have your answer source: thehill.com \| share:	75
		Daycares prepare to reopen, face thicket of health restrictions as well as parental reluctance. On the positive side, little kids who love social distancing and wearing masks are probably future school shooters, so we can nip 'em in the bud source: wbur.org \| share:	8
		ReopenNC founder goes all 'the stupid, it burns' with new mask challenge source: wral.com \| share:	74
		During a phone call with governors, according to audio obtained by the NY Times. Pence urged the state leaders to take on the administration's explanation for rises in cases - that more testing has led to more positive cases - which isn't at all true source: thehill.com \| share:	49
		Most 'rona tests cost around $100. Why did one cost $2,315? "It's not unheard-of that one hospital can charge 100 times the price of another for the same thing" source: nytimes.com \| share:	7
		Virgin Atlantic Airlines may be taking its name a bit too literally source: foodandwine.com \| share:	11
		The head of a right wing group that poured millions into pushing Neil Gorsuch into ascending to the Supreme Court melts down after learning he's not a bigoted asshole source: thenewcivilrightsmovement.com \| share:	160

Mon June 15, 2020
		We don't know if breastfeeding is rising or falling in Australia, and that's bad for everyone. On the other hand we're reasonably sure they're not trying to kill everyone, so that's a pretty big positive source: theconversation.com \| share:	21
		Taxi driver turns hearse driver as coronavirus deaths spike in India, says you're only as healthy as you feel source: aljazeera.com \| share:	9
		Hong Kong Disneyland sets reopening date and guidelines, refusing to discuss ongoing hostilities with Universal Studios China source: deadline.com \| share:	4
		Some mildly symptomatic COVID infections lead to significant long term problems, according to Dutch study fresh from the oven source: forbes.com \| share:	20

Sat June 13, 2020
		Move along, folks, nothing to see here - just China totally locking down parts of Beijing due to coronavirus outbreak at wholesale meat market source: theguardian.com \| share:	118
(newsdio.com)		More great news from the most efficent health care system in the world: Seattle man gets $1.1 million bill, heart palpitations source: newsdio.com \| share:	52
		Study shows young U.S. men having a lot less sex in the 21st century. Social media and electronic gaming are "suggested" to be partly to blame. Ya think? source: reuters.com \| share:	186
		♪ You and me, and COVID-19, must live together in perfect harmony. ♪ source: kjzz.org \| share:	47
(Some Guy)		Local health officials are facing firing, death threats or both because they won't go along with politicians who put the almighty dollar over public health source: khn.org \| share:	29

Fri June 12, 2020
		DeWine: "My state medical director just retired, please don't leave me hanging here." State health director Acton: "Fark this, we're about to have an outbreak and I'm done dealing with the Flu Klux Klan" source: cincinnati.com \| share:	63
		On the anniversary of the Pulse nightclub shooting, Trump wipes out health care discrimination protections for all trans people in the US. What are we up to, like, a dozen "just a coincidence"s just this week? source: twitter.com \| share:	193
		Hello, Isle of Wight Festival, is it Lionel Riche you've been looking for? source: nme.com \| share:	2
		Ohio Republican reminded nowadays "colored" should only refer to children's artwork source: thehill.com \| share:	60
		The Children of the Corn re-re-re-reboot has finished filming in the cornfields of Australia source: deadline.com \| share:	25
		Ric Romero asks why COVID continues to spike. Obvious tag last seen hooked up to a ventilator in the ICU source: msn.com \| share:	39
		Guys have been right all along as health experts say it's better to leave the toilet seat up source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	30
		Chuck E Cheese may soon declare bankruptcy potentially rendering thousands of skeeball winner tickets worthless source: people.com \| share:	32

Thu June 11, 2020
		From the Ric Romero Institute Of The Obvious comes a new study that shows that the leading cause of bad driving ... is bad drivers. Obvious tag last seen drag racing down the center lane source: chattanoogapulse.com \| share:	36
		MotoGP to resume dragging knees with 2 races in Spain in July source: apnews.com \| share:	9
		Get ready for covid-related drug shortages. "Among medical specialties severely affected are oncology, critical care and infectious disease" source: eurekalert.org \| share:	14
		50 felines that went from mega-cat-loaf to super lean floofies source: boredpanda.com \| share:	5

Wed June 10, 2020
		Thanks to Republican malgovernment, Arizona hospitals are now overwhelmed by Covid patients. Sick tag is in the ICU source: forbes.com \| share:	251
		Kids who drink juice when they're very young are usually healthier, especially if they put off the black coffee and bourbon to their late pre-teens source: eurekalert.org \| share:	23
		Nine out of ten Americans say the pandemic can reset 'business as usual' with only one in four saying that the current form of capitalism benefits society, apparently unaware that this isn't even Capitalism's final form source: aljazeera.com \| share:	41
		UK telehealth provider Babylon inadvertently shares patient garden info source: bbc.com \| share:	2

Tue June 09, 2020
		The WHO releases its new hit, Ball of Confusion source: nbcnews.com \| share:	123
		In addition to healthy staff, PPE, humanity, etc., hospitals are now running out of spins wheel painkillers. OH, COME ON source: reuters.com \| share:	4
		Lolla-no-palooza source: abc7chicago.com \| share:	5
(Some Guy)		We're #11. Which sounds bad until you realize it's like being #1, but twice source: decisiondata.org \| share:	11
		Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear does the right thing, announces plans to provide 100% health coverage to the states black residents because of inequalities in health care coverage source: wave3.com \| share:	68
		And let's see how Arizona's freedom is going... hoo boy source: abc15.com \| share:	100
		Though your own mental health likely won't recover after lockdown, celebrity vet has tips to help your dog recover its mental health after lockdown, when you leave the house more often and shower it with less attention. Difficulty: no steak source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	5

Mon June 08, 2020
		Epidemiologists are more willing to fly on a plane than attend a wedding during the pandemic but really it just sounds like they want to use COVID-19 as an excuse to get out of going to weddings source: nytimes.com \| share:	28
		America's Largest Waterpark set to re-open in June. Do snorkels count as facemasks? source: news8000.com \| share:	80
		American Airlines releases the details of the severance packages for execs if they are laid off when the federal cash expires, including nine months of pay and a little over two years of health-care. Those already fired can go suck avgas exhaust source: cnbc.com \| share:	6

Sat June 06, 2020
		Scientists create synthetic red blood cells that can be packed like heart-healthy piñatas source: sciencealert.com \| share:	4
		How to watch the ISS cross the Moon during its partial lunar eclipse this weekend source: cnet.com \| share:	14
		Anderson's gear was a 7-medium action, Shakespeare rod with a Quantum HD 40 spinning reel. The spinning reel had 12-pound monofilament line. His hook was a number 2, octopus circle, baited with a nightcrawler. Who knew fishing could get so technical source: wrcbtv.com \| share:	20

Fri June 05, 2020
		Johns Hopkins epidemiologist: "We should always evaluate the risks and benefits of efforts to control the virus, in this moment the public health risks of not protesting to demand an end to systemic racism greatly exceed the harms of the virus" source: politico.com \| share:	42
		In a show of solidarity with Hair Furor, Fox News bravely postpones its return to the office. Again. Until at least the end of July source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	19
		"What constitutes a riot is in the eyes of the beholder." How health insurance is trying bone its covered and bleeding members source: marketwatch.com \| share:	10
		I am not your Grandma .... I am the sexy, yes source: foxnews.com \| share:	70
		I am not your Grandma .... I am the sexy, yes source: foxnews.com \| share:	70
		Drinking alone at home in your underpants proven most effective way to stop Corona virus from spreading as Finland reports zero new cases and virus reproduction rate of 0.8 source: medicalxpress.com \| share:	60
		Lost whale swims up river in Alaska, turns around when it sees locals stocking up on barbecue sauce source: adn.com \| share:	13

Thu June 04, 2020
		Snake oil salesman ready headline: We can soon thank butterfly tongues for better cancer treatments and vaccines source: popsci.com \| share:	2
		Taking the time to wash your car by hand will improve your health. Washing your car while wearing a bikini could improve the health of your neighborhood [NSFW] source: melmagazine.com \| share: