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headlines found matching 'Headline'
Thu October 29, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The New York Post is running a blackmail operation: Cooperate or no good headlines for you
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 28, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New Jersey + COVIDiota + Spirit Airlines + Chin Diaper = Fark Headline
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
NASA and ESA agree to joint Gateway project to build Deep Space outpost. If only Germany had convinced the ESA to cancel, we could have had "DEEP SPACE: NEIN" as a Fark headline
source: newatlas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
25% of Australian 11-12 year olds don't have the literacy and numeracy skills they need to read this headline or calculate a proper tip for their bartenders
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Headline:"Here's what will happen on election night." TD/DR (too dumb/don't read): We have no idea
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 27, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Doom-y headline: Caterpillar reports a 54% drop in sales in Q3. Reality article: still beats earnings estimates by over 10%
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Never too early to get a head start on those "Democrats in disarray" headline in anticipation of them re-taking majorities both houses next year
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"Facebook Launches the FarmVille of Cloud Gaming Services." You can't top that headline in form or function
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Working from home reduces creative thought. You submitted this with a better headline from your office
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 26, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Hasbro's not playing games, beats estimates. Subby is sorry/not sorry for this headline
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 23, 2020
(Science Times)
 
 
 
Fark Ready Headline: Happy Endings Could Mess Up Your Brain's Decision-Making
source: sciencetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 22, 2020
(Wired UK)
 
 
 
Your Fark-ready headline of the day: "The rise and fall of the Zoom penis". Otherwise known as "Gone in 60 Seconds"
source: wired.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Ringer)
 
 
 
Another questioning headline, another obvious answer
source: theringer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Subby just read the headline but assumes the body says "From under a blanket, peeking out on occasion in terror while masticating voodoo dolls"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Yes. That's it. That's the headline
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 20, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Trump admin can't find the parents of 545 children that they abducted. No it's not a funny headline. There's nothing funny about it all
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Low-flying helicopters to measure radiation levels in DC before inauguration
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 19, 2020
(KPAX Missoula)
 
 
 
At least they misspelled Paradise correctly (Update: Headline has been fixed, see thread for original)
source: kpax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
NY Jets Head Coach Adam Gases says he has "no great answer on Sam Darnold's return" in a headline that went four words too long
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
How do you put the "Nothin' gonna happen" GIF in a headline?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 18, 2020
(Some Drunk)
 
 
 
Don't need no fancy drinks, don't need no fancy headlines: this week the Sunday Morning Music Club is looking for the best drinking songs of all time. Cheers
source: worldsbestbars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
The answer to the headline is to stop thinking the stock market is the economy
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 16, 2020
(Independent)
 
 
 
FARK ready headline: Julie Andrews reveals unexpected place she used to keep her Oscar
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 15, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sharon Stone is done with Dating. She said nothing about Casual Encounters on weekends. Which is also the name of my Devo Cover Band. So, there's a chance. All I need is slashies // and I have a possibe Fark Headline Trifecta. And my first green
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: Doom Running On A Calculator Powered By Old Potatoes
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 14, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
Probably the LAST headline you want when you are running barely ahead of a challenger gaining steam in a state with a large African American population: "Graham clarifies comment about segregation"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Headline: From puppyhood to senior age, dogs' different personality traits age differently. The article's a little ruff
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 13, 2020
(The Drive)
 
 
 
Let's christen the STEM tab with its first A-10 headline. So the immense power of the Warthog's GAU-8/A Avenger 30mm gatling gun posed a few, shall we say, "challenges" for the aircraft early on
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 12, 2020
(MSN)
 
 
 
Bonus Twofer headline: Racist confronts Pennsylvania Lt. Governor's wife at grocery store plus Anne Ramsey- where is she now?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 11, 2020
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Florida Man goes beyond just being a Fark headline, becomes a Blue Öyster Cult song
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 10, 2020
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Headlines that make you go huh? "Phil Collins booting ex-wife out of home after alleged secret wedding"
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cosmopolitan)
 
 
 
This is probably the quickest "no" in the history of interrogative headlines
source: cosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 09, 2020
(Channel 3000 Madison)
 
 
 
Can just one word in an otherwise typical news headline lead to mass wincing? Yep
source: channel3000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 07, 2020
(Fark)
 
 
 
[SCENE: EDITOR collapses, hands clenching pages] EDITOR: Stay back, you demon commas, what do you even want with me? [MAN IN WHITE COAT] There here is. You're comma with us. [EDITOR] Nooooooo This is your Fark Writer's Thread, punctual edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
If the headline's green, the facts are clean
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The top headline for Fox News is HRC's emails. Today. October 7, 2020
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
You might think manslaughter is a little steep for the father of a boy who accidently shot himself, until you hear he'd been warned by child protection officials to secure his weapons last October
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 06, 2020
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Hard hitting op-ed headline of the day hits the nail on the head: "No, Trump did not piledrive the virus into submission with his superior strength"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 05, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
YouTube pokes fun at overly long videos, then retracts its statement after realizing users get paid for longer videos, so if you like this headline please click subscribe in the link to the right and you can also find me on Instagram and Facebook
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drum)
 
 
 
The coronavirus lockdowns are only increasing income inequality while also helping the big companies that can adapt at the expense of small businesses. There is no humor in this headline
source: thedrum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 04, 2020
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
So now that Trump has COVID-19, will his most hardcore supporters finally take it seriously? Hint: remember the rule about headlines ending with a question
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
An ex-pro baseball player sought in the death of his ex-girlfriend was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Don't believe me? Read the article. And its headline. And its sub-headline
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
$2.2 million in cocaine. An Indian reservation. Feds in a van. An international kidnapping. Choose your own headline
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 03, 2020
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
File this under "if the headline is in the form of a question, the answer is always no"
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 02, 2020
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Top NY construction union boss charged with taking bribes. This is a very nice headline and it would be a shame if anything happened to it, capisce?
source: champ.gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Amateur skims everything he reads. As if we need to read the article at all
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 01, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
That rare occurrence where the answer to a question in the headline is actually "Yes. Yes. Oh god yes"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Formerly reusable headline with the Obvious Tag attached that will hopefully expire very soon: "The president has spent years undermining the legitimacy of {insert hallowed American institution or basic democratic norm here}
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Jackass at 20: disgusting, childish, dangerous and... heartwarming?" No, headline writer, you got it right with the first three adjectives
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline - "Republicans issue warning about having Bango, Bernie Brewer or Racing Sausages at early voting locations"
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fast Company)
 
 
 
Cutting off Trump's mic during the next presidential debate might not be a smart as you think it is. Someone tried to submit this with a funnier headline but was cut-off mid sentence
source: fastcompany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
Mad Libs headline: 'Cake Boss' star Buddy Valastro fears he won't bake again after grisly bowling injury
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 30, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Chris Wallace Headline five words too long
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: Hypnotist sought to veganize man before Thanksgiving with girlfriend's meat-hating family
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
No funny headline. Just a link to an editorial that perfectly defines the choice America is facing
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tahlequah Daily Press)
 
 
 
Remember when calling the cops on someone stealing your marijuana got you in trouble and made you tagged as 'Dumbass' in a Fark headline? Times have changed (second story)
source: tahlequahdailypress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TechRadar)
 
 
 
Headline tailor-made for Fark: New Google ChromeOS updates cause 100% CPU usage, could set you on fire
source: techradar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 29, 2020
(Time)
 
 
 
One of those headlines requiring no change for Fark headline: Trump's debt is a national security threat
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
Weeners
 
Your Fark-ready headline for the day: New Jersey cops to get $2.5M payout after being harassed by dildos for more than a decade
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Actual headline: 'I monitor my staff with software that takes screenshots'
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pink News UK)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Bisexual pastor-turned-stripper 'blesses' the world with her 'sacred' sexuality through OnlyFans"
source: pinknews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 28, 2020
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
This headline has paid more in income taxes than POTUS. This is your 7 p.m. ET debate eve MSNBC thread
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Headline: "The rise in murders in the US, explained" Article: The experts are baffled and have no idea why
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Headline: movers more likely to buy (a home) than first-time buyers. Article: first-time buyers more likely to buy a home than movers...but it MIGHT change some time in the future. Never change, BBC business page
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: "Hydrogen is at a 'tipping point' with $11 trillion market set to explode, says Bank of America"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun September 27, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "The wurst is over: why Germany now loves to go vegetarian"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Future Headline: New Jersey files for bankruptcy as millionaires flee state
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 26, 2020
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
Subby isn't even going to try to make this headline funny
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Bill Maher outraged no one is listening to him
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Actual headline that proves we are living in an artificial reality: "White House attempts to fix COVID with $300 million Dennis Quaid infusion"
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 25, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
And in today's episode of, "If the headline is phrased in the form of a question you already no the answer"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
FarkPol ready headline: The Death Of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Pushed Me To Join The Satanic Temple. "I am not the type of person who would normally consider becoming a Satanist, but these are not normal times"
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 24, 2020
(Literary Hub)
 
 
 
Fark headline writers rejoice "What is a cliche to a native speaker is a gem to a new learner"
source: lithub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Trump's campaign is having such a hard time finding any dirt on Biden that they have to make up rumors about him misusing a teleprompter
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
Is Drew Brees devolving into 2015 Peyton Manning?
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Today in random word headlines: Cake Boss Star injured in bowling related incident
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 22, 2020
(Fark)
 
 
 
So how old is YOUR Fark account? Mine: Account created: 2002-05-28 14:45:13 (18 years ago) Damn
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-compliant headline: Bloke loses a leg after slipping on slice of tomato in freak sandwich accident (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun September 20, 2020
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Manhattan subway train derails after laughing saboteur puts metal clamps on tracks"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 18, 2020
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Dental technician found with £1 million in pure cocaine in bags for life told to pay only £6000 in fines. No idea if time-travelling hoverboards were a factor, but I might be mixing up my headlines
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
Fark Ready Headline: NH man seen doing jumping jacks in neighbor's driveway and sniffing shrubs arrested on meth charges
source: whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Lefty stinks it out at Winged Foot. This is not a headline from 2006
source: golfweek.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 17, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The CDC didn't write this headline and it was greenlit against their objections
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
This is how you write a science headline
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Headline: "New York charges Johnson & Johnson with insurance fraud over opioid claims." Story: "The New Brunswick, New Jersey-based company was charged with violating two New York insurance laws, with civil penalties of up to $5,000 per violation"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 15, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ex-FARC leaders claim they're ashamed of kidnappings, lack of greenlit headlines
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 14, 2020
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Same guy who submitted the FBI raid headline like a minute ago here: I'm an idiot, it was a scam. Whoops
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
This headline is just being polite to you
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Headline: "Trump defectors - Biden has chance to win these voting groups from GOP, Polling shows us that Biden is chipping away at Trump's base". Now, note the source
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun September 13, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Headline: Trump orders lower drug prices. Buried in article: not any time soon and not for you
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 11, 2020
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Although casinos, universities and steaks with his name on it are all business disasters, there is one Trump item brand that is successful: Trump books about what a despicable, idiotic, sociopathic, human failure Donald is
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
HEADLINE - "McDonald's just dropped the Travis Scott meal" We need a "CONFUSING" tab because apparently "dropped" has two different meanings
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Trump lies that he didn't lie about the coronavirus". Well done, CNN
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Fark Ready Headline: Legally owned African serval goes missing from Merrimack home
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 10, 2020
(Politico)
 
 
 
This headline about how the Woodward interviews happened could sum up the Trump White House for the last three years: "White House aides saw a train wreck coming, then jumped aboard"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 09, 2020
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
Anyone here ever stay up late on weekends as a kid watching "Sorority Babes in the Covid-Bowl-O-Rama" on cable? I loved that movie, and you just read this headline in a Gilbert Gottfried voice
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Headline: Hemp plants swiped from CBD hemp farm. File Photo: Dank Buddage
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Greek migrant camp faces huge fire, humanitarian crisis. This is not the Hot Lesbian headline we wanted this morning
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Sid Meier isn't sure if he'd replay Civilization if it was released today, but everybody reading this headline has already reinstalled it and launched a new campaign
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 08, 2020
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
In today's headlines "Mormons get blown". Details at 11
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Your MLS power rankings. Real Salt Lake are too damn high
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Today's headline that would have made absolutely no sense 10 years ago: "An influencer who traveled to Rwanda to work with gorillas says she was locked up for 4 days after a false-positive COVID test"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Gold Star widow tells Fox News what hurt the most about Trump's loser comments about men like her husband was that a photo of she and her son meeting the man who made the comments was used in the article
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Puppy Girls: The Women With a Fetish for Acting Like Cute Dogs". I'll be in my bunk
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
This bill, co-sponsored by McConnell, must not pass. It's a threat to American continuity. Subby is struggling to make a joke in this headline, so read the article then post a cat or dog
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun September 06, 2020
(Beaumont Enterprise)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Hit by pandemic, kids' lemonade stand becomes family's sole income"
source: beaumontenterprise.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 15 Madison)
 
 
 
Today, Real American Heroes salutes the Wisconsin DOT employee who writes snappy safety messages for electric billboards on Wisconsin freeways. He would have written a better headline than Subby
source: nbc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 05, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you want to know how bad the Murdoch-owned NY Post has gotten this is an actual headline today: "BLM protesters attacked car that plowed through Times Square crowd"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNYT Albany)
 
 
 
MadLibs headline: Albany man rescued from Lake George by priests on a floating tiki bar
source: wnyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 03, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Unemployment benefits are less than minimum wage in many states. That's it. That's the headline
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Germany v Spain is the headliner today. Friday has the Czechoslovakian derby, followed by England v Iceland and Portugal v Croatia on Saturday. This is your UEFA Nations League discussion
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 02, 2020
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Playboy model's transformation as 24 hour drinking caused acid urine that ate her skin"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 01, 2020
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Headline: FEARS MEN COULD DIE OUT FROM DISAPPEARING Y CHROMOSOME. Article: says this is unlikely to happen (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Bankrupt business to reorganize by buying a business that is not, and has never been, profitable. It's 2020. Why not?
source: paxex.aero   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Dating Guy)
 
 
 
In today's "Madlib or Real Headline" : Baby Yoda gets man banned from Tinder for catfishing
source: ruinmyweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 31, 2020
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Wisconsin, a special legislative session called by the governor was opened. And then closed in the time it takes to read this headline by the Republicans in charge
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Amazon gets FAA approval for drone delivery fleet. UPS plans to stay competitive by throwing deliveries from moving trucks
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun August 30, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NYC residents flee for the suburbs en masse. This is not a headline from 2001, 1986, 1977 or 1968
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 28, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: one-armed, schizophrenic roller-skater charged in stabbing rampage
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sometimes you just cannot beat the original headline
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
'Walls were covered in mucus': 'Nearly 80 cats'...You know, maybe we should just stop reading the headline now
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 27, 2020
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
11,000 people lose the chance to become Fark headlines
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 26, 2020
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Sometimes you almost don't want to click on TFA because the headline itself is near perfection alone: "Friend calls murder-for-hire charges 'major blow' for Sweetie Pie's family"
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Jezebel throws down its GOP convention headline of the week: Every Demon Wore Their Best Human Suit at the Republican National Convention
source: theslot.jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Headline:"Scant mention of brewing crises at Republican convention". Wait, there is a brewing crisis? How are we supposed to get through the rest of 2020 without beer? Somebody do some...what?...a brewing hurricane crisis? Oh, nervermind then
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ladders)
 
 
 
*reads headline* I'm going to guess "green poop"
source: theladders.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 25, 2020
(Real Clear Science)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline:" Moderate Drinking May Shrink Your Brain by 1 Percent. Is It Worth It?"
source: realclearscience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
The new leader in the Fark's Ambiguous Headline of the Year: "Magnetic stimulation dramatically improves fecal incontinence"
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 24, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In a headline everyone knows we'll see about 200,000 times before the end of the year: Man who believed COVID-19 was a hoax loses wife to COVID-19
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun August 23, 2020
(NHL)
 
 
 
Two whole games today. The Bs "at" the Bolts, Then the 'Nucks "at" the Knights. Puck drops at 8 PM ET, SUP, SIM, and fark cancer. Come for the hockey, stay for Chimpy's chicks. Mike Milbury downvoted this headline
source: nhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 21, 2020
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Dungeons & Dragons references in my NHL headlines? It's more likely than you think
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 20, 2020
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Do headline writers for The Guardian eat babies? And if they do eat cute babies, do they enjoy it? The facts
source: amp.theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 19, 2020
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Headline: Coronavirus saliva tests could be cheaper and faster. Here's how they work. TFA: Zero information about how they work
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 17, 2020
(Chron)
 
 
 
Some Fark headlines write themselves. An exotic dancer, a nuclear engineer, a QAnon enthusiast and Laura Loomer: The GOP race to represent Trump's Palm Beach district. And the sane one is....? Just based on their occupations, what is your pick?
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun August 16, 2020
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Katy Perry hot and cold over sexual misconduct allegations
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Ringer)
 
 
 
The problem with question headlines is the reader may finish the story and go "Wait, you lazy jackholes don't know the answer either"
source: theringer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Sad Guy)
 
 
 
A snarky gun-beats-cannon headline might have worked if the neighbor hadn't shot and killed a five-year old
source: 7news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 15, 2020
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Headline: 12 major Vegas hotel-casinos are dark indefinitely. Article: Everything else is open to all brave Americans and hotel-casino operators claim they're currently taking in more money than they're giving out
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 14, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ya know, CNN a more accurate headline would be "Postal office confirms effectiveness of Trump's voter suppression"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline, and totally appropriate for 2020: "Are bread riots coming to America?" Ben Richards nods knowingly to Damon Killian, who smiles gleefully
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Cross-border couples find they are lovers in a dangerous time. Sorry, eh - Smitts couldn't find a Rush song to fit the headline
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 13, 2020
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Forget you, Cee-Lo
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NPR explores how Biden might use his reconstituted Department of Justice to prosecute Trump. And, presumably, Barr. And Jared, can't forget him. Oh, and DeVos. And, yeah, Nunes, Gohmert, McConnell ... damn, I'm running out of space for this headline
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 07, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sorry I read the headline just before lunch
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu August 06, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Rewrite a famous headline from any time in history using the "Person Woman Man Camera TV" formula. LGT example
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Good news, everybody: Vaccine to be available around November 3. Wait, nevermind, headline says "Trump says" vaccine will be available. So, well, no change then
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Susan Rice is the VP, if we leave off the last two words of the actual headline
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vindy News)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Molotov cocktails found at day care." Kids these days, I tell ya
source: vindy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed August 05, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
This headline would have earned the "Obvious" tag... if they hadn't added in unnecessary words, like "now" and "apparently"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Kinda like the alternate headline too: Controversial 'Hookers for Jesus' group to get more federal money after Bill Barr and Ivanka Trump announce new sex trafficking effort
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fark Ready Headline: Man bitten by shark in Florida compares it to previous attack by alligator
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Bond hearing for Tampa teen accused of hacking Twitter accounts gets hacked"
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Headline:"Get a bird feeder, and don't overthink it." Article most likely written by squirrels
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue August 04, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Upon reading the headline, every FARK veteran of the press conference threads simultaneously went "DUH"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fark headlines incoming
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Current Affairs)
 
 
 
Can't sum this one up better than the headline: The Truth Is Paywalled But The Lies Are Free
source: currentaffairs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox News headline: "MSNBC producer resigns from network with scathing letter: They block 'diversity of thought' and 'amplify fringe voices'" and, I say again, that is the "Fox News headline"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon August 03, 2020
(Food and Wine)
 
 
 
Who really writes these headlines?
source: foodandwine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
In August, 2020 the phrase "Republican turnout crisis" first began to appear in headlines
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Texas lifts tampon ban at bar exam after complaints over discriminatory policy
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 30, 2020
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Steve Jobs was wrong. Is this headline about his: a) refusal to wear deodorant, b) habit of soaking his feet in the work toilet, c) his cancer treatment decisions, d) *waves vaguely at everything*?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 29, 2020
(Douglas Co Sheriff's Office)
 
 
 
Subby is trying to come up with a funny headline but keeps getting stuck on the part where the county Sheriff just told the county library that his office won't be answering their 911 calls because their board supports Black Lives Matter. Help
source: sheriff.douglascountynv.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 28, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump Shats Himself Over Pandemic is the headline my brain wanted to see
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
Weeners
 
(Celebrity) challenges (Other celebrity) to (event) after threatening to (verb) his (body part)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
The pandemic is causing a Geneside
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
According to this DailyFail headline, "Britney Spears Demands Attention" just because she's posing with a ton of henna body art and green bikin--what? She actually said "I demand attention"? Never mind
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Rage unmasked: How a piece of cloth has America going mad" JFCOAPS, its a bit of cloth, not an Alien facehugger. Wear a goddamn mask
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 27, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
That hot Portland protester who got naked says she's naked all the time and wombat disco billfold because you're no longer reading this headline (possibly NSFW due to buttocks)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 25, 2020
(Common Dreams)
 
 
 
I've sent this headline to be green'ed by the Mods, but it was delayed for processing
source: commondreams.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Today's Fark Mad Libs headline: "Aaron Carter threatens to sue pug rescue organization for defamation"
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 24, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Hate read of the day headline for you poors: "Turning a Second Home Into a Primary Home"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Yahoo Serious given boot from flat. I know those words but that headline makes no sense
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Problem with question headlines: The reader might go "Well, duh. It never should have happened in the first place. It was a panicked, authoritarian, jerkoff response that is being used in that manner in current events" and not read the story anyway
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 23, 2020
(Time)
 
 
 
You gotta ask yourself one question: "Would Clint Eastwood hawk CBD?"
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 22, 2020
(The Root)
 
 
 
Okay, which of you Farkers is writing headlines for The Root now?
source: theroot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nature)
 
 
 
World's top peer-reviewed science journal publishes a controversial paper saying that Mexico had illegal immigrants ruining everything 30,000 years ago. Bonus headline dodge "but not everyone is convinced"
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Appeals court block's Trump's apparatchik at the U.S. Agency for Global Media which runs Radio Free Europe and the VOA from staging a hostile takeover of the Open Technology fund a non-profit designed to create tech to fight internet censorship and what is this headline
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Polygon)
 
 
 
FarkReadyHeadline™: "The Beastars manga nails the sexual tension between a teen wolf and a bunny"
source: polygon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 20, 2020
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Could Trump's handling of the pandemic have been any worse? In other news, Chandler Bing is now writing headlines for the Washington Post
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 17, 2020
(Independent)
 
 
 
Do we need one? Yes. Hell yes. Why-ee-double-ess YES. Will there be one? Well, now that the question has been published as a headline, you know the answer
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
You can now choose between a period and a full stop. Except at the end of a Fark headline
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
Actual Headline: Fox attacks the Washington Post
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 16, 2020
(Economist)
 
 
 
Headline: "What Wall Street's results tell you about America's economy" Article: nothing. Fark: because the stock market is about betting that you can predict what other bettors will predict is the prettiest girl. Or the most precious tulip
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Surely the BBC knows phrasing is crucial in a headline
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Headline "Video shows protesters get shipment of bats before Brooklyn Bridge brawl" Article and Video: somebody unloaded six bats from his car trunk near the protest site, and there's zero evidence any bats were used during the clash with police
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
950,000 of Mary Trump's books sold on day 1. Angry Trump tweets in 5...4...3...2
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 15, 2020
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Most US transit buses are manufactured outside of the US, and Trump trade advisor Peter Navarro just got a close-up look at the bottom of one
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Federal Times)
 
 
 
Sometimes, the headlines really do write themselves: "Federal leadership awards to be canceled for 2020"
source: federaltimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bristol Post (UK))
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: 'Leave me alone when I go to the shops' says Bristol man with fire-spouting disco shed for a head
source: bristolpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 14, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In case you thought mortgage brokers were classy...hey, stop laughing, this isn't a humorous headline
source: themortgagenote.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Here's a headline you probably didn't see coming: "How Koalas With An S.T.D. Could Help Humanity"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
This is what police SHOULD be making headlines for
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Bulwark)
 
 
 
Not only does the headline question have the rare yes answer, it's also the longest self pwn in PolTab
source: thebulwark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 13, 2020
(NBC 25 News)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: Cat who died 12 years ago gets voter registration application in mail
source: nbc25news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dezeen)
 
 
 
Disappointing Mad Libs headline of the day: "Nudes tops greenery-covered Forest School in Pune with looping cycling track"
source: dezeen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 11, 2020
(OilPrice.com)
 
 
 
Japanese firm creates lithium battery that will make Samsung's non-exploding phones even cheaper
source: oilprice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Watch SpaceX try again to launch 57 Starlink and 2 Blacksky satellites at 10:54 AM ET. It is the 5th flight for booster B1051 which is going to land on the house of the farker who submitted the Roberts is retiring headline
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 10, 2020
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Misleading headline of the week: Man bikes every street in town, drowning in Barton Pond
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 09, 2020
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Unfortunately accurate headline of the day to point out the stupid: "America Is Refusing to Learn How to Fight the Coronavirus"
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you've been drinking your hand sanitizer, you might want to know that the FDA is warning consumers about 55 varieties that contain toxic wood alcohol. If you can't read this headline, it might already be too late
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southern Poverty Law Center)
 
 
 
OANN "correspondent" Jack Priapism is a white supremacist (Headline fixed)
source: splcenter.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 08, 2020
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Most honest Mediaite Headline Ever
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tor.com)
 
 
 
"Babylon 5 Is the greatest, most terrible SF series." Ignore the clickbait headline and come for a really interesting article and comment thread at the bottom. Zooty Zoot zoot
source: tor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 07, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Blonde clown doubles down on verbal jackassery. Guess which one - it's not like you could tell from this headline
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inverse)
 
 
 
Today's pseudo-science headline claims the source of all life has been found. As you probably already guessed, Dwarves are to blame
source: inverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Here's a completely factually correct article that SURELY won't upset anyone, just from the headline alone, most especially those who most need to read it
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 06, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
I misread the headline as 'Trump's base begins to use crack', which if you think about it actually makes a lot of sense
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 04, 2020
(wut?)
 
 
 
Welcome to the Welsh town of "headline has a word that's too long; try adding some spaces". Drew's tech bots translated it for us
source: vintage-everyday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"I'm a saloon singer, by self-definition. Even my mirror would never accuse me of inventing wisdom. But I do claim enough street smarts to know that hatred is a disease" - Happy Independence Day, from 1991 Frank Sinatra
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
The worst drivers in America are .... Hold my PBR and let me finish this here headline thing. Whar Illinois? Whar
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 03, 2020
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Trump Believes That He Is Losing Because He Hasn't Been Racist Enough. Subby bets that surprises no one
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 02, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
A new Thai project turns fishing nets into PPE. A lesser headline would make a comment about "net gains" or "there's nothing fishy about this." Welcome to fark
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Regulate Lootboxes Immediately, Lords Say"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 01, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
America in 2020 comes to you in a ready-made headline: "Fighting Over Masks in Public Is the New American Pastime"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Man sentenced to 1,000 years in jail for child porn, gets early release on parole in less than 10 years. Several phrasing type headlines scrapped as inappropriate
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Todays Fark ready headline. Shepard quarantined for Coronavirus has dozen of sheep in a tizzy (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Fake Newspaper Breaking Headlines
source: images.creativemarket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Task and Purpose)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Navy to sailors: Please stop buying LSD online
source: taskandpurpose.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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