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headlines found matching 'Hand'
Thu July 07, 2022
(AP News)
 
 
 
Most directors of big movies based on franchises take the approach of figuring out just how much fan service they can cram into 90 minutes while still technically having a plot. Taika Waititi on the other hand set out to piss off the fanboys
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 06, 2022
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Alright, what's Fetterman's Fark handle?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IMDB)
 
 
 
Kamala gets a first-hand look at her family history and a crash course in Pakistani history as Episode 5 of Ms. Marvel goes live
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Marvel Theory Reveals Kevin Feige's Secret Plan to Destroy Morbius Universe"
source: thedirect.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 05, 2022
(New York State Police)
 
 
 
Should we not have thrown hands in the middle of I-84?
source: nyspnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Guinness World Records seem like they are becoming a bit blasé when you can earn one by using your hands to snap 83 matches in 30 seconds
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Intercept)
 
 
 
Of *course* Handmaidboo -- er, Facebook -- is too dumb to recognize a false flag smear campaign
source: theintercept.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Climate protesters arrested after framing themselves
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Latest update on the Illinois mass murder delivered by the most handsome guy they could find sitting around the sheriff's office
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Remember: body parts do not go into recycling, they go into composting
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 04, 2022
(News 12 Westchester)
 
 
 
Most kids spend the time after their high school graduation ceremony taking photos and going to parties. These 6 graduates ran to the fire station, hopped on the truck, and put out a garage fire
source: bronx.news12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The books of 2022 so far. What book have you read that you'd put on everyone's reading list? Difficulty: new releases (so no Handmaid's Tale)
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 02, 2022
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Sheriff gives Florida man a hand
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 01, 2022
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Remember, you can choke your chicken all you want, but never beat your neighbor's cock without permission
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The family of a man shot by Akron police say cops fired more than 90 rounds at him hitting him over 60 times, and THEN proceeded to put handcuffs on the corpse, His crime? Refusing to stop when cops tried to pull him over for traffic violation
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I'm pretty sure that he lifts more than 350 pounds every time he stands up
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heathline)
 
 
 
Photoshop this handout
source: images-prod.healthline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Chicago-style pizza is hot garbage, but Chicago-style popcorn is delicious
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 30, 2022
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately, but now they're trying to take it all away from us unless we take a stand hand in hand. Let's hear it for the Supreme Court. Don't let them take it away. It's the 7 p.m. ET MSNBC thread
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
If you're in trouble and you know it, clap your (tiny) hands
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HiConsumption)
 
 
 
The 10 most expensive whiskies ever sold, hopefully none of which were subsequently spilled on the servers
source: hiconsumption.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Oakland's fate in SCOTUS' competent hands now
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mational Day Calendar)
 
 
 
Don't forget the laurels with your hearty handshakes today
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
"TFG's not a little guy. And the space to actually be able to lunge towards the wheel is not that big. I don't mean to sound disparaging, but just his girth would prevent him from actually getting to the steering wheel"
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Odell Beckham Jr. commissions a painting of his Rams self helping his Browns self get off the ground. Up next: a painting of him getting his ass WHUPPED by the field goal kicker's sideline net
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 29, 2022
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Unity CEO at all-hands meeting 2 weeks ago: we're fine financially, no one is getting laid off. Unity today: hundreds of pink slips go out
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In the future, please hand the suitcase full of cash to his assistant
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Larry Brown Sports)
 
 
 
They're both left, which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it's not right
source: larrybrownsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Soap recalled due to germ contamination. You had ONE JOB
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 28, 2022
(Twitter)
 
 
 
If you're having trouble following all the 1/6 criming, here's a handy chart that sums it up
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
What's his Fark handle?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
♫ Throw out your hands, stick out your tush. Hands on your hips, give them a push. It's Mel Brooks 96th birthday. Voilà
source: britannica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 27, 2022
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
*Yoink* [temporarily]
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Merchandising mistakes have cost Disney millions in the past. This is more than just a toy story
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
'Here Comes the Pizza', Part 2
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 26, 2022
(The Spun)
 
 
 
Angel Hernandez makes brutally bad call at first base. In other news, the sun rose this morning
source: thespun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Giant Freakin Robot)
 
 
 
The apocalypse is upon us Writhe in agony and repent for the end is near
source: giantfreakinrobot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Incompetence, misconduct, habitual drunkenness? What's your Fark handle, your honor?
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 25, 2022
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Jack White calls out Trump for his multiple paid abortions
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
What is this over-achiever's Fark handle?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Missouri property available for $1.8 million comes with fully stocked lake and made with the highest quality materials including suspended ceiling in the walkout basement bar area
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 24, 2022
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
You can get a real toy based on a movie based on a toy based on a movie in a movie
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Giant Freakin Robot)
 
 
 
He's here, he's there. He's every-farking-where. Hercules
source: giantfreakinrobot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 23, 2022
(NYPost)
 
 
 
We have come to the point where it's probably best to deal with Jeopardy old Yeller-style
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Unite.ai)
 
 
 
AI is literally too hot to handle
source: unite.ai   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Will Starlight break up with Hughie? Will MM go after Butcher? Will Soldier Boy come for Homelander? Bring extra hand sanitizer, Herogasm is here, climaxing tonight on Amazon
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Lopez was found to be carrying a black and bronze 9mm Glock handgun. He was also carrying two Glock 19 magazines with 17 rounds of ammo in each, and one box with 14 rounds of ammo. Trying to get into Disney
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
On the other hand, rates of depression amongst fish at an all-time low
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jewish Press)
 
Weeners
 
Just in time for July 4th: Gefilte Fish Hot Dogs
source: jewishpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Dodgers unveil pitching ace Sandy Kofaux statute that will be on display 24/7 - except for Yom Kippur
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 22, 2022
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
This one little trick can defeat the GOP. Yard work
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Once a rising star, former Democratic candidate for Governor of Florida Andrew Gillum hits the Chandrasekhar limit
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Jim Cramer: It's not that younger generations are underpaid that they can't pay off their student loans and invest, it's due to $14 margaritas. Don't even get him started on avocado toast and Netflix subscriptions
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mational Day Calendar)
 
 
 
Happy National Eclair Day, hold the Omay
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
Video
 
When evacuating a burning airplane it's important to use one hand to carry your giant rolling suitcase and the other hand to record the incident on your phone
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
Multi-purpose meat cushions are now here for ravenous Monster Hunter fans. Meat popsicles still have to lean up against the wall
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 21, 2022
(ESPN)
 
 
 
"The proper technique involves 'painting' the full surface of the ball...using two fingertips. Then comes a very precise rubbing motion with the ball in between both hands to get...into the pores..." Not sure if baseball story or Deshaun Watson story
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplanation: How OXO became the undisputed king of kitchen gadgetry. First they conquered the salad spinner. Then they conquered the Good Grips handle. Then they conquered your heart
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
..and boy, their hands are tired (old article, new context)
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Lordy, the tapes have been handed over
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester Democrat and Chronicle)
 
 
 
New York is trying to figure out what to do with 700,000 galllons of unused hand sanitizer. We have three words: Fark. Party. Newburgh
source: democratandchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Not news: Pittsburgh rookie hits 96.7 mph on the radar gun. News: on a throw from short to 1st
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
Maine oyster production booms due to record crop. Turns out they breed quickly, with many giving birth in high school and having three more soon after graduation
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 20, 2022
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Metal engraving machine, looks like 19th-Century tech, almost infinitely adjustable, makes very cool optical patterns on metal. No electricity, no computer. All hand-operated. Very cool. You'll want one
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 58 Milwaukee)
 
 
 
18-year-old has written ten books about growing up in Racine, Wisconsin. Subby took ten minutes and three attempts to write this headline, and it's probably still misspelled
source: cbs58.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oddity Central)
 
 
 
Young vampires do you want to feel like a true blood sucker? Now you can with your very own custom vampire coffin from this creepy Japanese company
source: odditycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Canadian goose terrorizes neighborhood for 5 weeks, threatening anyone who approached. Turns out she was protecting ducklings of a different species
source: ksltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOCO Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
On one hand, global warming is destroying US highways. On the other, sweet ramps to jump
source: koco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 19, 2022
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Handmade, artisan tax dodges
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Steve Albini, poker master
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Matthew "Shaggy" Lillard hosts The Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine has an Airbnb. The real mystery is what happened to most of the film cast's careers
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
David Lynch: "American cinema in the hands of moneymakers who only cater to teenagers and make the former studio moguls of the 20th century look like great humanist intellectuals"
source: worldofreel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 18, 2022
(Big E Radio)
 
 
 
At 10:30 PM ET Noise Factor hits the air for another week and it's the birthday show so I'm picking the songs...like always. A little bit of everything I like including Windhand, Kvelertak, Wrong, DSRT, Machine Head, Bummer and more
source: bigeradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Tourist destination costs have got right out of hand - woman charged $1300 a night to sleep in a shop window
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH about the legal accuracy of "A Few Good Men"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Do you sugar your lawn? Not a euphemism
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
🎵 When the shiat hits the fan / but your dick's in your hand / that's Uvaldeeee 🎵
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 17, 2022
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
"A floppy skewer is not an effective skewer-I am always saying this"
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Delta restricts lounge access to people with scheduled departures in the next 3 hours. Nobody sane wants to be at the airport more than three hours early anyway, so this is... an outrage
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman killed by washing machine as Maximum Overdrive becomes reality
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Meet the Treasury Department's brigade of Nerd Warriors who are single-handedly bringing down the Russian Economy. They're sort of like the 501st Keyboard Brigade, but with less reliance on Hoveround divisions
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Cadillac's electric flagship will probably debut as a '25 model, combining 2025's 3D printing with 1925's hand assembly, and affordable to typical 1825-style nobility
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SportsNaut)
 
 
 
Detroit Tigers hold "players only" meeting after current streaks 4th straight loss; "nobody likes getting their asses handed to them every night". That's why the Lions play once a week
source: sportsnaut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 15, 2022
(The Spun)
 
 
 
Who could have guessed that a billionaire who made female talent bark on their hands and knees in the ring would have paid out millions of dollars in NDA's to women he had affairs with
source: thespun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Taylor Heinicke says Carson Wentz's contract is the main reason he has no shot at winning Washington's QB job. Well, that and the fact that Heinicke sucks at QB
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 7 Austin)
 
 
 
The city of Austin to raise AR-15, semiautomatic gun purchase age to 21. The rest of Texas to hand out AR-15's to babies out of the womb
source: fox7austin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
NYC Weed Trucks seized by officials after amassing $500,000 in outstanding parking tickets. Dude, they're Weed Trucks. They were just chilling in those parking spots, they weren't hurting anyone. C'mon, dudes. At least them have some snacks
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Florida Man fails to make clean getaway after stealing street sweeper. With bonus mud wrestling pics
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Vladimir "Jelly Legs" Putin
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 14, 2022
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Eco mermaid sets a world record for the farthest swim (26.22 miles) with a mermaid-style monofin to raise awareness about the need for clean oceans
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Six tips to help you overcome your fear of flying, none of which address the very reasonable fear of being assaulted, beaten, or manhandled by United flight attendants
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Will Smith was "devastated" after he slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars, according to Tyler Perry. Well then, that is that. On to I Am Legend 2
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Fan falls for handsome Harry Styles after seeing his concert, goes One Direction. 35ft DOWN (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 13, 2022
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this handsome gibbon
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Radisson Hotels I choose you
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 35 Orlando)
 
 
 
Toaster Strudel Stabbing is the name of my alt-Polka band
source: fox35orlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
1/6 was ABSOLUTELY a coup attempt, according to an expert on autocrats. It's just that, like everything else Trump has turned his hand to, he botched it with poor planning and execution. He needed to be present at the Capitol to be successful
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food.com)
 
 
 
Monday Fark Food Thread: Hot days, cold soups. What cools your fiery heart? Link goes to Bourdain's Vishiswars, Vichiswass, Vicchy... cold potato & leek soup
source: food.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Ron Johnson thinks gun control boils down to background checks. Of Hunter Biden
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 12, 2022
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
When it comes to having your own private arsenal, you gotta hand it to this guy
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Give this guy a hand
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Give this guy a hand
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Spun)
 
 
 
These coffins give a whole new meaning to being a 'die-hard fan'
source: thespun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Drought-parched gardener seeking wisdom of the crowd. Any Farkers out there using ollas? Share your experience/advice
source: sunset.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
On today's Weird or Cool from Japan: This doghouse
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 10, 2022
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Will the former Fox political editor please raise his right hand and swear, to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you, God?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
Attempted bank robbery fails
source: riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EuroNews)
 
 
 
"The greatest work in English literature" expected to fetch $2.5m at auction
source: euronews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
And how did right wing news handle the first night of Jan 6 Committee coverage? Like every other night of their existence: lies and projection
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Look at these tits. LOOK AT THEM
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 09, 2022
(Flathead Beacon)
 
 
 
In what will certainly not lead to any bizarre conspiracy theories, wrong-sized ballots in one Montana county will delay primary results being announced
source: flatheadbeacon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 08, 2022
(MSN)
 
 
 
Costco is about to raise the price of entrance but has already agreed to keep its hands off your weiners; your mom last seen taking notes
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cop fired for Pure Evil tattoo seeking to be rehired, claims he just needed to remember which hand he used for masturbation
source: sunny1063.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scoop Nashville)
 
 
 
'She reeked of alcohol and was unsure what happened to her pants'. What's her Fark handle?
source: scoopnashville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 07, 2022
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Just to increase their owners smugness, Ford's F-150 Lightning comes with an adaptor to recharge dead Teslas
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 06, 2022
(CNN)
 
 
 
WaPo reporter David Weigel tries his hand at conservative humor, gets suspended without pay for a month
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Considering how America handled the health epidemic of the last two years, I'd say we're boned
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
The Beatles are comin', they're gonna hold your hand. Pick up the pieces and lower the flags. I'm goin' to Woodstock, it's the Aquarian Age and then I'll go to Altamont and sit near the stage. It's the 7 p.m. ET MSNBC thread
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
All Russian oligarchs with a 787 raise your hands. Not so fast there Roman Abramovich
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Esquire)
 
 
 
If Paul McCartney were drowning, Phil Collins would not lend a hand
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
For best results, allow 12 inches for your meat
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Generally speaking, Russia continues to lose
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Modern Metropolis)
 
 
 
Guy playing street piano in Boston gets a helping hand
source: mymodernmet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 05, 2022
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
The woman put her hand out the car window, displayed her middle finger to the officer and reversed into his vehicle. After escaping, she ran into a store and consumed a travel size bottle of hard liquor. Good times mom, good times
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Max Scherzer's Dog, 1, Max Scherzer's pitching hand, 0
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Max Scherzer's Dog, 1, Max Scherzer's pitching hand, 0
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 04, 2022
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Brits delighted to find out The Queen keeps a marmalade sandwich in her handbag
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(6ABC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Pair creates their own Door Dash system using locals with substance use disorder to shoplift and deliver from wish lists of desired merchandise
source: 6abc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPR News)
 
 
 
Minneapolis cops became kinder and gentler after killing George Floyd. Now they "allegedly" just hand out severe beatings, make up imaginary informants, and plant drugs on people who file complaints
source: mprnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Marlins P Edward Cabrera made MLB history by throwing a 96 mph changeup. At 96 MPH, what the hell is supposed to change?
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
French Open semifinal delayed because a fan glued herself to the net
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 03, 2022
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
You might want to sit down for this, but it turns out that "Buy Now, Pay Later" installment loans might not actually represent a particularly wise financial decision on the part of the people who use them
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Russia would really, really like Turkey to not cause problems for them in Syria right now, because they kind of have their hands full at the moment
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
You've got to hand it to DeSantis, threatening the Special Olympics isn't the bottom of the barrel for him
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 02, 2022
(Cleveland 19)
 
 
 
Fellow Farkers: I am proud to reveal the scariest mugshot you'll see this month; maybe even this year
source: cleveland19.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Ted Cruz calls out Republicans who canceled appearances at NRA Convention. Was apparently upset there was no one to share all that blood for his hands
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fatherly)
 
 
 
Where do sheep go on vacation? The Baaahamas. When do you go at red and stop at green? When you're eating a watermelon. It is your Bad Joke Thursday thread, fire away
source: fatherly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 01, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
UAE promises to prosecute virtual murders. About time someone cracked down on spawn camping
source: stealthoptional.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cageside Seats)
 
 
 
MJF, blah blah blah. Sammy G, yadda yadda yadda. Who cares? CM PUNK IS THE AEW WORLD CHAMPION. The 3rd Summer of Punk begins on AEW Dynamite @ 8pm ET on TBS, the SuperStation
source: cagesideseats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
MyPillow Lunatic has set $30,000,000 on fire and, unfortunately, seems to be hurling millions more into the furnace
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Catch of the year: New York Mets fan catches ball while holding a baby ...barehanded
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Trying to get a handle on inflation? This is how much beer cost the year you turned 21
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Phil Mickelson's dalliance with the Saudi Golf League is paying off handsomely as he is not one of the first 42 players announced for the inaugural event
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 31, 2022
(Glamour Magazine)
 
 
 
The Handmaid's Tale Season 5: Everything We Know
source: glamour.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Popular European tourist destinations face uncertain summer due to absence of loudly swearing, drunk track suit aficionados who steal everything not nailed down
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If price is no object, what is the best chocolate in the world? LGT a contender
source: li-lacchocolates.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Memphis)
 
 
 
Memphis police looking for shoplifters who made clean getaway with $800 in merchandise, likely involved in laundering
source: fox13memphis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 30, 2022
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
They are hiring pilots for robots? SIGN ME UP. I wonder if they are Patlabors or something out of Macros or -- wait, convenience store robots? Well, I guess I could still play hockey on the roof or something
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 28, 2022
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Seth McFarlane moves The Orville away from Fox: "It takes a special talent to pander to the lowest common denominator without actually getting them as an audience"
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 27, 2022
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Shoresy is actually good. Give your balls a tug
source: murphysmultiverse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
The Robb Elementary School shooter did not act alone in Texas, he had the help of many with blood on their hands
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
I bet he converted a lot of catalysts
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Some cryptobro handed a $7 million payday to the dickwad who thinks school shootings are staged
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
They often call him Speedo, but his real name is Florida Man
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Break out those tiny violins, folks. The overcrowding in American Express Centurion Lounges is getting out of hand, which means Platinum card holders are having to endure the same things as other people such as long waits like common peasants
source: liveandletsfly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
So here's what the new Apple AR/VR glasses, which were previewed to the board of directors, may or may not look like
source: yankodesign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Today somebody thought it would be funny to set off a bunch of fireworks behind the school where I teach. My students were terrified. I was terrified. Tomorrow is the last day and I don't know if I can bring myself to go
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 26, 2022
(Tech Xplore)
 
 
 
Autonomous vehicles can be tricked into dangerous driving behavior. Humans, on the other hand, engage in dangerous driving because they can
source: techxplore.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Cubs shortstop brings the heat with 45 m.p.h. pitch in blowout loss to Reds
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Since there's nothing newsworthy going on today, here's how to write 'Korn' on your phone with a backwards R for all you nu-metal fans
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Let's give a big hand to the doctors who gave this Scots dad who received the 'world's first' double hand transplant for his new lease of life. No, OK how about a fresh two-handed clap?
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
Dyson has been secretly building robots. It's not everyday you find out that you're responsible for three billion deaths
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Architectural Digest)
 
 
 
A temple that's just asking to be burnt to the ground
source: architecturaldigest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"In other news: The president of the US reportedly agreed that a mob should kill his vice president. Yes, very sad. And now the weather"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 25, 2022
(NPR)
 
 
 
When Twitter mishandles the information and violates the privacy of millions, it gets off with a fine. But when I'm caught spying on my neighbors
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Consequence)
 
Hero
 
Margaret Atwood announces special "unburnable edition" of The Handmaid's Tale with all proceeds going to equality charities
source: consequence.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 24, 2022
(ESPN)
 
 
 
"Underdogs FAP need 'positive energy' to get past favourites Petro de Luanda." How about lending them a hand, Farkers?
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Kate Moss to poop all over Amber Heard's defense
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
Hey, mister, can you tell me where a man might find a bed? / He just grinned and shook my hand, "Yeah" was all he said
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Afghan male journalists wear masks on-air in solidarity with female colleagues. If you've ever watched the Handmaiden's Tale you can probably guess what will probably go wrong. Until then, tag to the left
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 23, 2022
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Nearly half of Americans feel they are worse off today than one year ago. In a staggering coincindence, nearly half of Americans are not financially able to handle a $500 emergency and inflation has consumers paying $327/month more due to inflation
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man breaks Guinness World Record by running half marathon while wearing 111 T-shirts. In other news, there's a Guinness World Record for running a half marathon while wearing a lot of T-shirts
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Central Illinois Proud)
 
 
 
Thieves take $23,000 in merchandise from Normal Walmart. Bizarro Walmart unscathed
source: centralillinoisproud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drive)
 
 
 
This is the little engine that can
source: thedrive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Electrek)
 
 
 
Edgelord Elon, desperate to shore up Tesla's falling stock price, announces full self-drive next year. This is a repeat of pretty much every year since 2014
source: electrek.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
So why isn't it prosecuted for failing to register as a PAC?
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 22, 2022
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
"A falling knife has no handle" and other pearls of wisdom from the usual impeccable authorities
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Montana)
 
 
 
After more than a century of federal control, the National Bison Range is back in the hands of its rightful stewards
source: nbcmontana.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 21, 2022
(Audacy)
 
 
 
He's justified and he's ancient / And the Mets may need a hand
source: audacy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
How did a gun stolen in the '70s in Alaska end up in the hands of an SC middle schooler? Time travel?
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 20, 2022
(Digg)
 
 
 
There is a a right and wrong way to use chopsticks, apart from "chuck them away and use a spoon"
source: digg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Hell, red states are barely able to handle pre-algebra
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
HuffPo's listicle of 6 cocktail glasses you need to have. Drinking straight from the bottle suspiciously absent from list
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Merriam-Webster)
 
 
 
The Merriam-Webster word of the day for May 20 is "ad hoc," as in: The flavor of the pea soup is enhanced when you ad hoc
source: merriam-webster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Advocate)
 
 
 
Stealing a Pride flag is not a hate crime as long as you don't "degrade, disrespect, or make any hateful actions or gestures toward the flag," on the security video that catches you stealing the flag
source: advocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Hey, remember that bird-watching Black man who calmly and appropriately handled the racist tirade against him? He's getting his own bird-watching show
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 19, 2022
(NPR)
 
 
 
Baby formula shortage failure results when market power is concentrated into too few hands?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Consequence)
 
 
 
Bam Margera finishes one-year substance abuse program, can finally abuse substances properly
source: consequence.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Want some hand sanitizer? How about 700,000 gallons?
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 18, 2022
(Air Force Times)
 
 
 
US Space Force Guardians will be allowed to have neck tattoos, just like Buzz Lightyear
source: airforcetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
So let's get to it - we're (not) burning daylight
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Trumper casino mogul ordered to register as foreign agent because billionaires receive only stern letters rather than handcuffs
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 17, 2022
(KRIS Corpus Christi)
 
 
 
2-year-old orders 31 cheeseburgers from McDonald's using his mom's unlocked phone. Generous kid even tipped DoorDash driver $16
source: kristv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
It seems like primary election season comes earlier and earlier each year with a handful of states holding their primary election today, and this is your 7 p.m. ET MSNBC
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NHL)
 
 
 
After a hellish day without hockey, the Johnny Sex Cup Playoffs return. The Florida Fracas starts Round 2, will the 2-year champions be too hot to handle for the Pretty Kitties? Will CO get past the 2nd round on their 4th try in a row? Pucks @ 7pm ET
source: nhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"My kid could do that" painting swapped for a cheese sandwich, expected to sell for $35,000, goes for a bit more, eh
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Texas Tribune)
 
 
 
As Texas distributes the $4 billion in aid Congress gave them to recover from Hurricane Harvey, Coryell County, in the dead center of the state, who lost zero houses, got $3.8 million. Houston on the other hand got...$0. HUD has a problem with this
source: texastribune.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Here's the ceremonial first pitch ... Juuuuuuust a bit high
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Sasha Banks and Naomi leave a WWE Raw show after a booking disagreement. WWE releases a statement criticizing their decision and admits that their shows are... "scripted"? IT'S NOT REAL TO ME ANYMORE, DAMMIT
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
The answer is no. Always
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Pair steals $36k in merchandise from Missouri Home Depot. Police unsure if all five 2x4's will ever be recovered
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 16, 2022
(Automotive News)
 
 
 
In related news, the car subby ordered from Carvana in April is still experiencing "transportation delays"
source: autonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PC Gamer)
 
 
 
IT admin gets 7 year prison sentence for deliberately wiping company's servers. Has been seen last trying to turn his lawyer off and on again
source: pcgamer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Fox renews 9-1-1:Lone Star, Welcome to Flatch, wait...how has Call me Cat been picked up before Duncanville with side eye at Flatch
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NPR's handy online tool to help you determine if your house is at risk of wildfire. Although you have to scroll all the way down to the bottom to use the tool, so subby will just save you the effort with a quick preview of its likely answer: Yes
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Not All Heroes Wear Capes)
 
 
 
Looks like Elise Stefanik forgot to register a common domain name. How nice that someone stepped up and lent a helping hand
source: elisestefanik2022.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metal Injection)
 
 
 
You can now own a rock n' roll bust for your living room. Chinese Democracy, Van Halen III unavailable for comment
source: metalinjection.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 15, 2022
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Trump bites the hand that feeds him
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Kansas man finds a mythical-looking ax with a root for a handle in his front yard. With pic of worried looking dog
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 14, 2022
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Cardinals pitcher is refused white-glove delivery
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
It's called hands to mouth on rubber and it's illegal
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Larry Brown Sports)
 
 
 
When Mad Max is starting, only Mad Max throws the first pitch
source: larrybrownsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Are we really questioning if we should be bathing?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guitar.com)
 
 
 
Buying something based on an internet photo is one thing, but would you buy a $3,000 guitar you weren't allowed to look at first?
source: guitar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Brace yourself for this story about a giraffe calf given a lending hand so it could have a leg to stand on
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ted Cruz proves once again that he has no concept of self awareness when he makes a joke about Republicans who pay homage to TFG
source: new.deepleftfield.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Police catch Catich. Not a repeat from 2021 when they had to catch Catich after he escaped from a police car and was found five counties away still handcuffed. But what happened to the disappearing handgun?
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 13, 2022
(SoraNews24)
 
 
 
How to stair in Japan
source: soranews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Juneau Empire)
 
 
 
Remember last week when Juneau Alaska bought a second-hand ski lift, or the week before when they bought their cops a tank? This week someone finally noticed that they don't actually have any money
source: juneauempire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAD Bible)
 
 
 
Vogue Magazine threatens to sue 200-year-old pub in the UK for daring to have the name of the village where it's located in its name
source: ladbible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Remember the first few months of the pandemic when hillbillies in pickup trucks totally weren't hoarding bottled water and toilet paper and trying to sell those items secondhand from their personal storage units?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
NY discovers another way to save money
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MacWorld)
 
 
 
Macworld wrings its hands over "Five Apple ideas Google just ripped off for Android and Pixel." Xerox sighs, nods knowingly
source: macworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 12, 2022
(BroBible)
 
 
 
NBA Insider Shams Charania says he stares at a computer screen 18 hours day, doesn't know how to drive a car, and has no social/dating life. What's his Fark handle?
source: brobible.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bipartisan Report)
 
 
 
Mike Pillow has lost $30 million chasing mules
source: bipartisanreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Like competitions? Like the 90s? Not necessarily a fan of "Win Ben Stein's Money"? Try this instead:
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Dr. Jane Goodall, primatologist, anthropologist and underwear spokesperson. Wait, what was that last one?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Rand Paul single-handedly blocks Ukraine aid despite pleas from both party leaders because inflation or something
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 11, 2022
(BookRiot)
 
 
 
Gileadho school district bans "The Handmaid's Tale" and 23 other books from its libraries
source: bookriot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
'China's most handsome man' to sue online critics who say he's nothing more than an attractive face. Subby was told he has a face for radio and a voice for pantomime
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Finally, a celebrity protest that puts it all on the line
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Another high-quality contract handed out by TFG's administration. Wonder what the kick-backs were?
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKBW Buffalo)
 
 
 
Republican congressman resigns immediately after being accused of sexual misconduct. "Only in America can such a dream come true"
source: wkbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 10, 2022
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
So real, it's Unreal
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Here's the case for smashing your hand with a 20lb - and not a 15lb - sledgehammer right now
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 09, 2022
(CNN)
 
 
 
Well gee, I can't imagine why you would need to increase security around SCOTUS justices and their families. It's not like they're about to hand down a ruling that would deny the rights of half the people in this country overnight or anything
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
A) There will be a Monday Night Football doubleheader in Week 2, b) both East Coast games, c) they will overlap by more than half the game, so you can't watch most of both
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
Richard Sherman to the broadcast booth to comment on all those sorry-ass receivers whose mouths he would shut if he were still playing
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Here's the trailer for Avatar 2: Ava-Harder, or Avatar: The Videogame, er, or Avatar: The Way of Water. Whatever, enjoy all the giant blue smurfs you can handle
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
George RR Martin doesn't want to admit he can't end Game of Thrones better than HBO
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 08, 2022
(CBC)
 
 
 
Sometimes people help a needing hand
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Inflation soaring in UK as secondhand fleece jacket costs £90,000. Previous owner a Mr V Zelensky of Kyiv, Ukraine
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 07, 2022
(UFC)
 
 
 
Saturday Night MMA: UFC 274, Charles Oliveira vs Justin Gaethje, Rose Namajunas vs Carla Esparza, Michael Chandler vs Tony Ferguson. Early prelims at 5:30 PM ET on ESPN+, TV prelims at 8 PM ET on ESPN and ESPN+, PPV main card at 10 PM ET
source: ufc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Bad: Second hand smoke. Worse: Second hand fentanyl fumes. Worst: On a public bus
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 06, 2022
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"A Russian soldier who was in Bucha during the executions was identified because he spray-painted his Instagram handle in a civilian's home" Subby did not change that headline
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
She seems nice and not at all insane
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN explores where the "Hitler was a Jew" myth comes from. Racists? Subby's guessing racists
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LGBTQ Nation)
 
 
 
Would you at least wait till after you've lost to start whining about "voter fraud"?
source: lgbtqnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 05, 2022
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
Let's be frank for a moment. These two men will not relish jail time after they beat up a downtown Austin food vendor over a $6 hot dog
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
What your hand would look like if it existed purely for the purposes of sexual pleasure. Also who comes up with this stuff?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
What your hand would look like if it existed purely for the purposes of sexual pleasure. Also who comes up with this stuff?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Over three million people are trying to get their hands on World Cup tickets
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
What's her fark handle?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Alanis is about to drop a new single
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 04, 2022
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
"In my line of work I need love to keep my hands from freezing on the inside ... I need you to turn up the radio, louder please. Just so that I don't have to listen to this shiat again." It's the 7 p.m. ET MSNBC thread
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Takeout)
 
 
 
FINE. Then I'll drive and eat. I'm no stranger to spooney-knifey, myself
source: thetakeout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dutch News)
 
 
 
'The Dutch have a bedroom window open for fresh air, even in winter,' says Japanese expat who has apparently never heard of a Dutch oven
source: dutchnews.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The "if rape is inevitable, you should just lie back and enjoy it" Republican in Michigan got his ass handed to him in the special election, by a Democrat in an EXTREMELY Republican area
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
"Hey you with the improper political beliefs, put that ballot down and come out with your hands up"
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 03, 2022
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Nextdoor then seen wiping hands on pants, yelling "PROBLEM SOLVED"
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Smithsonian adopts a policy of ethical returns. Still needs an ethical re-gifting policy after just handing the Captain America shield to John Walker
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Let's see here. We got your menacing, your waving a loaded shotgun around at folks, trespassing, impersonating an FBI agent, vandalism, oh, and defecating in a police car. That'll get you on Fark on a Tuesday
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
It's good to be the King
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Yeah, overturning Roe is bad. But what's really unforgivable is that the public knows about it beforehand
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 02, 2022
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Drew regrets dunking on famous people who end up in the news
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The problem with golf course arguments is that everyone has a weapon handy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Claire's intern has a two-ingredient recipe for homemade Cheez-Its
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(PC Gamer)
 
 
 
The unbelievable part is (a) Dungeon Master has been continuously running a D&D campaign since 1982, (b) he owns collection of 30,000 miniatures he's hand-painted, (c) he somehow has a daughter
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Sun May 01, 2022
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to learn how to recite the alphabet backwards? No? You sure? Well here's a video showing you the easiest way to learn it. It might come in handy, you never know
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Sat April 30, 2022
(MSN)
 
 
 
After someone killed her son and the police couldn't solve the case, a mother takes matters into her own hands and tracks down her son's killer and avenges him. Sadly, she wasn't any better at solving the case than the cops were
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Fri April 29, 2022
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
Well you always could see the hand up his ass
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 28, 2022
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Twitch: "We are altering the deal. Pray that we don't alter it any further"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Today's scum of the earth: Process servers
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(K2 Radio)
 
 
 
Wyoming high school soccer team helps clear rock slide from canyon road, isn't penalized for using their hands
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(Science News)
 
 
 
Archaeologists find remains of medieval hand grenade, rabbit bits
source: sci-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 27, 2022
(Logan's Runt)
 
 
 
He's not called 'Money' Mayweather because he readily hands it over
source: essentiallysports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hopeful Chilean Guy)
 
 
 
Looks like Chile might be going to the World Cup after all
source: amicohoops.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IMDB)
 
 
 
Turns out Sasuke Uchiha was actually Ronnie "Firestorm" Raymond, but not really either (maybe Sasuke after all?). It's Team Flash vs. Deathstorm Round 1 on S.№8 Ep.№12 "Death Rises" at 8 ㏘ EDT. Then Kung-Fu at 9, both on The CW
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Audacy)
 
 
 
A passerby "called 911 and reported an 78-year-old elderly man was actively being attacked by a squirrel, who was eating his hand.The man was attempting to choke the squirrel, but was unable to obtain a good grip"
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Mouse responds to the jackass
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Five reasons why landlines are better than cellular phones. Six, if you add exercising your arm on their hand crank
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu: The one Republican Trump can't get his weasely little hands around
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BGR)
 
 
 
Vaping may actually make you depressed. Probably because you realise you're vaping
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(Fox 43 Pennsylvania)
 
 
 
Watch this multi-talented man catch a baseball while feeding a baby
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(MEL Magazine)
 
 
 
What to expect when you're a hot pregnant mom
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Tue April 26, 2022
(NPR)
 
 
 
There are dumb questions, stupid questions, and the questions NPR asks to make itself look even handed
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(Some Guy Not Eastbound and Down)
 
 
 
Just in case you were wondering why truckers have enough time on their hands to just drive around in protest convoys
source: freightwaves.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Russian tyrant Vladimir Putin's hand is acting up again, sparking more rumors that he has major health problems. Something more serious than the Monday morning shakes after a vodak binge (possible nsfw content on page)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Suing time
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
If you had "error by 9 time Gold Glove winner Nolan Arenado leads to blown save against the Mets" on your bet list, come claim your prize
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Since winning the US Open last September at the age of 18, tennis player Emma Raducanu has fired two coaches
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
Finish up your nachos before they get cold and then come discuss the latest Better Call Saul [Spoilers for Episode 3]
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 25, 2022
(Food 52)
 
 
 
Yeah, you read it wrong but that shouldn't stop you from stuffing your face
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
"Nudity isn't promised." It doesn't flat-out say that it won't happen, tho
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 24, 2022
(Twitter)
 
 
 
TFG can't handle the Truth. Or the Social. Especially if those two words are used together in a company name. A company that he started
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(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
Miami Airport bomb threat ensues when baggage handlers find "novelty" grenades in luggage. What brilliant mind thought to check "demilitarized novelties" in first place?
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDW News Today)
 
 
 
Hey, guy with gun hanging around your neck, ingesting "chalky white substance," what are you gonna do now?
source: wdwnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 23, 2022
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Moral quandary of the day: If a NYC traffic agent and overly aggressive FBI agent get into a street fight over partially parking in a bus stop, who do you root for to lose?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 22, 2022
(KLKN-TV Lincoln)
 
 
 
Nebraska gubernatorial candidate Charles Herbster maintains he is not also secretly "The Gropester". Unfortunately the women seeking to unmask this supervillain are all fellow Republicans
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(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Logging companies: "Managed forests do good things." Australian researchers: "Logging elevated the risk of high-severity fires." Who wood you believe?
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(Guardian)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to watch giant sad dancing kiwifruit? Today's your day
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 21, 2022
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Queens handyman accused of stabbing lover 58 times, stuffing her body in duffel bag." On her 96th birthday? Man, that's cold
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mational Day Calendar)
 
 
 
✋ good jorb, everyone ✋
source: nationaldaycalendar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Xplore)
 
 
 
Subby submitted this one-handed while paying the light bill
source: techxplore.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 20, 2022
(ICIJ)
 
 
 
"Man, Russian oligarchs hid a lot of money, how are we gonna find it all?" ICIJ: Funny you should ask, here's a handy dandy guide based on the Pandora Papers. Happy hunting
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(Twitter)
 
 
 
Jeez, the former guy can't even handle discussing losing with this loser
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Today)
 
 
 
4/20 is, you guessed it, Cannabis Day. Discuss all about things related to it to your right, man
source: nationaltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
New electronic nose may help sniff out counterfeit whiskey, encourage you to bathe regularly
source: smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox9 Minneapolis)
 
 
 
These Harry Potter spinoffs are really getting out of hand
source: fox9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Is it any wonder I've got too much time on my hands It's ticking away with my sanity I've got too much time on my hands It's hard to believe such a calamity I've got too much time on my hands And it's ticking away, ticking away from me Too much
source: thepointsguy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 19, 2022
(Food 52)
 
 
 
That's a bold statement. Gonna need some intensive hands-on research
source: food52.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
How about a little good news for a change?
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(Speedway Media)
 
 
 
Kyle Busch is a lucky SOB at Bristol, and puts the "ass" in "blasphemy" on Easter Sunday. Tyler Reddick and Chase Briscoe "throw hands" after a wreck, Joey Logano advocates for the "Floor It 500," and Chase Elliott tangles with a "nobody"
source: speedwaymedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
In a sign that the sanctions are stopping the flow of Russian money to their internet trolls, QAnon's Russian chapter goes rogue, turns on Putin, and is now supporting Ukraine; while warning of Russian deep state propaganda online
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 New York)
 
 
 
One in 20 heart attacks in NJ caused by noise pollution. Other 19 reportedly caused by close calls with Jersey drivers
source: fox5ny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Ukraine is making it sorta look like the world responds differently to crises that involve primarily white populations than it does to those that involve black or brown populations
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
The hot, new, high-tech handheld has sharp corners, fits in the palm of your hand, boasts a black-and-white, non-backlit screen, and features a hand crank
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Mon April 18, 2022
(Nottingham Post)
 
 
 
"Hidden compartment" revealed on toaster. Just wait 'til they find the one on the vacuum cleaner
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(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Someone dressed up as the Easter Bunny handed out condom-filled eggs to elementary school kids in Austin. But there's an explanation as to why
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(ESPN)
 
 
 
Athletes in sport notorious for players injecting anything they can get their hands on to improve their chances at winning refuse to get the one thing that would let them play in Canada
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Sun April 17, 2022
(MassLive)
 
 
 
And the Lord spake saying "Takest thou money and buy many handguns, and thou shalt takest those guns and sellest for a profit. Then thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it"
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(Inc)
 
 
 
"Peloton isn't Netflix"
source: inc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 15, 2022
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
NH man tells Boston TSA he's shocked that a handgun was in his carry-on bag. Also shocked about the 2 extra magazines
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Thu April 14, 2022
(ET Cahada)
 
 
 
Gene Simmons doesn't think Beyonce could handle his makeup routine
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(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox are giving the "we just fought in the car before we got here" vibes on the red carpet when she dodges his kiss
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(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Thandiwe Newton axed from Magic Mike film after furious bust-up with Channing Tatum about Oscars slap
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Vlad Guerrero Jr. "battles through gash" to hit three homers against Yankees. Even Wilt Chamberlain impressed
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Pantless, handcuffed, smeared with fake blood, and with a bag over your head is no way to go through life, son. But it is the way Estonians were protesting the Russian embassy. PNSFW
source: news.err.ee   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 13, 2022
(IMDB)
 
 
 
Barry and Chester may've found a way to stop Uchiha Sasuke from hurting anyone else while Catlin tries to handle a situation alone which may endanger innocents on "Resurrection," S.№8 Ep.№11 of The Flash at 8 ㏘ EDT, then Kung-Fu at 9, both on The CW
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(IMDB)
 
 
 
It's always sunny on Glenn Howerton's birthday even if the CharDee MacDennis does tend to get a little out of hand
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(Fark Fiction Anthology)
 
 
 
His face was long enough to wrap twice around his neck. I took a slug of whiskey and a slug from his pal behind me before I knew it, but I knew then that this is your Fark Writer's Thread, Raymond Chandler Edition
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(MovieWeb)