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headlines found matching 'Hand'
Fri December 04, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Easier than getting your hands on a graphics card it's the Friday Fark Gaming Thread. LGT Cave Story+ free at Epic. What have you been playing this week? Side note: given that school will be out soon what are some games to keep the kids busy?
source: epicgames.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
On sale now --- Arctic National Wildlife Refuge oil and gas leases. Limited quantities. Offer valid for 48 days. Handling fees negotiable
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 03, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
When Idaho's Lt Governor isn't making videos featuring vans, guns and the bible, she rails against socialism and handouts. She also held her hand out for that sweet, sweet PPP money, to the tune of $300k
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
While obviously not as cool as a Spaceballs Flamethrower, the new line of Mandalorian-based outerwear from Columbia makes staying inside during a shutdown even more fun. Merchandising
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The UK's Premier League and EFL agree to a rescue package amounting to a £250mil handout
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The socialist revolution will be merchandised
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1979, important questions were asked: Who? The band. What? A stampede that killed eleven people. Where? Ohio. Why? Who. What?
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada's Texas begs federal government and Red Cross for a disaster handout and field hospitals. Still hasn't closed the bars
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
So, how are mall Santas handling the pandemic?
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
UPS gives Amazon a handy
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 02, 2020
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
China now has three operational probes on the surface of the Moon. If all goes well, the one that just landed will soon leave the Moon with the first lunar sample since 1976
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
How to check if you're losing too much hair or "2020: The gift that keeps on giving"
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Who could POSSIBLY have an issue with a Halloween-themed Nativity set?
source: thefirsthalloween.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 01, 2020
(Blog Toronto)
 
 
 
Bar owner struggling to stay afloat during COVID receives respite from alcoholics
source: blogto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Helen Hunt won't share a room with a dead guy. Robert Pattinson won't give a handy to a dog. Michelle Pfeiffer doesn't want birds crapping on her tongue. Man, these actors are such divas
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Some of us go to the beach, find nothing but used condoms and cigarette ends. Meanwhile, there's this guy (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Hershey's updates their iconic 'Handbells' Christmas ad for the first time since 1989. As expected, some people have a problem with this
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Today's Slatesplanation: Why it's long past time for Assassin's Creed to cut out all that stupid backstory about the "animus" and just create a damn historical fantasy world
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Obama says he looked into UFO stuff while President, refuses to divulge what he discovered. Which obviously means ALIENS
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Gator vets use Michael Jackson treatment to save cancer survivor's bubbly seahorse. Confused? You won't be after this click of D'awww
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Kelly Loeffler tries her hand at Black voter outreach with expected results
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
America has an economic inequality crisis on its hands
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 30, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The details of Flynn's pardon are now available. Turns out, he was pardoned for *waves hands around* all this whatever
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"A man who dragged a police officer along the ground as he held the car door and punched another in the head has been jailed" and apparently had three arms
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Paintball karting. This is the way
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
"The Mandalorian" goes special edition on Jeans Guy
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
On the other hand, he does have his broccoli chopping mastered
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PPP)
 
 
 
Everyone should get a small holiday bonus. Here's how to do that
source: peoplespolicyproject.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
London-based luxury designer flogs sexed-up baubles shaped like boobs and bums for £95. These "pornaments" and "boobles" are just what the kids need to feel up the Christmas tree this season
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Biden to throw up his hands in despair and quit today
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 29, 2020
(Fark)
 
 
 
The Farketplace is reopening for Black Friday and through the weekend! Post links to your online storefronts for handmade crafts, goods and whathaveyous, and support your fellow Farkers by shopping for cool stuff at Farkers' stores
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
Week 12 of the NFL sees the Titans at the Colts for the AFC South lead. The Dolphins will try and keep the Jets winless, the Browns take on the Jaguars, the Saints go against the Broncos and the Chiefs battle the Bucs. Starting at 1:00 PM ET on CBS/FOX
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 28, 2020
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
To show the world Scotland knows absolutely nothing about pizza, they've just opened their first pizza vending machine in Glasgow
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 27, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Founder of Whole Foods regrets not having kids. On the other hand, he's able to afford to shop at his store
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indian Express)
 
 
 
Maybe he thought the tiny desk would make his hands look bigger
source: indianexpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
The Darksaber tops this year's list of dangerous toys, presumably because no one wants to fight for supremacy of Mandalore
source: io9.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 26, 2020
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Maybe it wasn't the Hand of God that killed Maradona
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Don't click and look, this woman has clearly gone nuts in a supermarket by smashing every booze bottle she can get her crazy hands on
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
After cops ask him to leave Walmart because he won't wear a mask, Ohio man figures the one thing that would make the situation better would be to put on his brass knuckles
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Apparently the Cowboys strength coach wasn't strong enough
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
California judge orders Google to hand over the personal emails of an oligarch's son in his dad's $600 million divorce. The oligarch, Farkhad Akhmedov, is one of Putin's buddies. Farkedhard, forever known as the Скупой ручка who let his kid use Gmail
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 25, 2020
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
Brad Pitt on movie nights with David Fincher: "He'll be muttering the whole time: 'That shot works. That's a bad handoff. Why would you go to the insert of the glove there? Stabilize' It's like watching a football game with Bill Belichick"
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Beast Mode hands out two hundred turkeys in Hawaii, no doubt throwing them from the one yard line
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Who would've thought that an utterly unqualified, carnival barking conservative who ran an election with no platform would be out of his depth in handling a crisis?
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
Man uses shovel to break into house. Sam Spade is on the case
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hand of God comes for Diego Maradona
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 24, 2020
(Slate)
 
 
 
The authors of "The Dictator's Handbook" weigh in on why Trump sucks at that, too
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 23, 2020
(WECT Wilmington)
 
 
 
Woman killed by lottery winner found with a single penny clenched in her hand. Also, cocaine. There was lots of cocaine
source: wect.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Despite the fact the CDC labeled flying as dangerous an activity as sticking your hand in a running combine, more people are passing through airports at any point during the lockdown
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 22, 2020
(Rotoworld)
 
 
 
The Chiefs will be looking to enact revenge against the Raiders after they handed them their lone loss of the season when they travel to Las Vegas for Sunday Night Football starting at 8:20pm EST on NBC
source: rotoworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 21, 2020
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
The stupid never stops for boozers in this coronavirus pandemic: Seven Russians die after drinking hand sanitiser after running out of booze at party
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter Donald Trump)
 
 
 
I was a total disaster in handling the covid-19 epidemic, could never have produced a Vaccine in record time (years ahead of schedule), and would do a terrible job of Vaccine delivery - But doesn't everybody already know that
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
At inauguration, Twitter will hand the @POTUS account to the Biden Administration, temporary password 8645L0s3er
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 20, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Wish files for IPO in one hand, craps in the other, sees which one gets approved first
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KQED San Francisco)
 
 
 
A handy COVID risk-mapping tool as you contemplate your Thanksgiving plans
source: kqed.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Bulwark)
 
 
 
Donald Trump is a snowflake who cares only about his feelings not the facts. He's a pampered millennial child who can't handle losing and wants a participation trophy says noted liberal website The Bulwark
source: thebulwark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 19, 2020
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Using hand sanitizer around a fire pit may have undesirable results
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Loeffler, Perdue turn to panhandling for cash on Fox News, hoping to dupe the ignorant even more
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida Mom knocks at stranger's door at night, hands off her baby to resident, then abandons child there with soiled diaper, empty baby bottle, half can of formula, raging case of scabies. The Ring is there
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ballotpedia)
 
 
 
For those who may be wondering what is the next state for the Trump Ratfarkery Team to strike next, here's a handy guide to all of the states and their deadlines to certify their total votes
source: ballotpedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Why is the Universe left-handed? We're all looking at you, weak force
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 18, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Japan unveils new mascot, a life-sized anti-coronavirus cat who encourages everyone to take the virus seriously and hands out masks. After which, she walks away without listening to you
source: insidexpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
All 159 counties in Georgia have completed their hand recount ahead of the SOS imposed schedule
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Matt Travis, who was second in line at CISA to Krebs, hands in his walking papers
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 17, 2020
(Indy100)
 
 
 
Ever wonder where the most tin foil hats are worn or where most of those uncomfortable anal probes take place? There's a handy map for that
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Hand sanitizer. New hotness: Mouthwash that has 0.07% of an ingredient called cetylpyridinium chloride
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Arstechnica has compiled a handy list of charts to cherry pick from in your next Intel vs AMD performance 'debate'
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 16, 2020
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Welcome to the BSoD party, Apple. Leave your unhandled exceptions at the door
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Next time you feel like biatching about how slow the mail is, try to remember that they singlehandedly saved the country
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 13, 2020
(CBR)
 
 
 
When it comes to giving amputees a helping hand, Konami thinks outside the box
source: cbr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Broadway stage hand dies from fall...Now trying to understand the Handbook For The Recently Deceased...(That thing reads like stereo instructions)
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
Tonight on Smackdown: Roman continues to make Jey Uso do his dirty work, Murphy is back following Seth but Aalyah is like "Why?" and Sasha Banks shows us "This is the way" to handle Carmella's challenge to her title. It all starts at 8 PM ET on FOX
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
The WH is demanding that no administration officials assist Biden with his transition. Fortunately however, at the rate Trump burned through personnel, there are LOTS of FORMER Trump officials who are more than willing to lend a hand
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
On this day in history, in 1953, an Indiana Textbook Commission member accused Robin Hood of being a communist, in ploy that played directly into the hands of the Sheriff of Nottingham
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Interesting Engineering)
 
 
 
"Shake Hands with Danger" refers to: (a) The signature catchphrase of an action movie star, (b) An unreleased heavy metal album, or (c) A hilarious workplace safety video
source: interestingengineering.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida mom goes to school board meeting to protest mask-wearing rule in schools. Brings enough crazy that she ends up in handcuffs
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 12, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Four years ago, the Obama/Biden administration was ready to hand off a pandemic plan, but the Trump team refused to take it. Now, the Biden/Harris team is desperate to have access to pandemic planning, but the Trump team refuses to give it to them
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
To all you Kentucky farkers out there, your boy Mitch McConnell is single handedly holding up COVID stimulus relief for millions of Americans. But at least you get to stick it to the libs
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Rolls-Royce plans 16 mini-nuclear plants for UK, with hand-crafted workmanship which can be easily parked
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Toobin now has time on his hands, to go with the other stuff there
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 11, 2020
(All Elite Wrestling)
 
 
 
Did Moxley retain his title? Have the Young Bucks screwed themselves out of future tag title matches? Who's next in line for an AEW title shot? The Wednesday Night Wars start @ 8pm ET on TNT, USA. NXT has tiny hands
source: allelitewrestling.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Georgia gets full election release by hand
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The election fraud lawsuits should be livestreamed. Trump's lawyers all over the country are getting their asses handed to them. We could use the laughs
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Did the Dominion help Biden win? Well, that might explain the handful of Vorta in Biden's transition team and the large number of Jem'Hadar marching in the streets chanting, "Obedience brings victory, and victory is life"
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
For the first time in Georgia history, Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger announces that the state will begin a by-hand, full audit of nearly 5 million votes beginning today
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Focus group of swing voters where 60% had a favorable view of BLM and all hated Trump's handling of the pandemic, but voted for Trump anyway. Easily the weirdest thing you'll read all week, and you know what this week has been like
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Cops make mistake of putting mask on handcuffed MacGyver
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 10, 2020
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Anyone got that Trump voter fraud number handy?
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IGN)
 
 
 
The new Xbox launches today. If you were able to get your hands on one, what are your first impressions
source: ign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Make no mistake; Trump is trying his hand at a coup, but there are more flaws and holes in his plan than the average pair of discount store underwear
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 09, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
I need a new RPG for my PC. Pillars of Eternity 2 or Divinity Original Sin 2? I haven't played either of the prequels but don't want to buy Baldur's Gate while it's still in early access. MY DECISION IS IN YOUR HANDS
source: forum.quartertothree.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Professor Oak)
 
 
 
Latest Pokemon merchandise? A sleeping bag that turns you into a Metapod. Weepinbell and Lickitung marital aids next?
source: dexerto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Does your wine taste like rotting apples and smell like gasoline? Either you have covid or you got your hands on a rare British cabernet
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 08, 2020
(KCBY Coos Bay)
 
 
 
Fifty years ago this week, Florence, Oregon had a whale of a problem on its hands
source: kcby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Whole Foods reverses its decision to ban its workers from wearing Remembrance Day Poppies after stumbling upon only one of a handful of topics that, if you fark around with it, will piss off Canadians into a white-hot rage
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
♬ Well, if you told me you were drowning / I would not lend a hand / I've seen your face before, my friend / but I don't know if you know who I am ♬
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 07, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
But I do have one question. When you get to your little place on Nantucket Island, I imagine you're gonna take off that handsome-lookin' S.S. uniform of yours, ain'tcha?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Daily Mail expert psychoanalyzes people based on how they hold the steering wheel, identifies nine types. For example, the one-hand-on-top guy is a Cool Dude
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 06, 2020
(Twitter Donald Trump)
 
 
 
On the one hand, he does seem to have calmed down. On the other, he's just babbling
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Smirking handcuffed criminal goes out partying like a BOSS, downs a lager, smokes joint in back of police van on the way to police station
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
If you had Stouffer's as the next food brand to sell merchandise, step up and collect your prize
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 05, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Healthcare providers are increasingly charging "COVID fees" for PPE and equipment they should already be having on hand
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Who needs a real live human girlfriend when you can get a sweaty robot hand? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Wait, how many crises can we handle at once? Seriously
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Regardless of the final tally, let us all take a moment and thank Stacy Abrams for singlehandedly making Georgia competitive
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 04, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Ok what is this guy's Fark handle (from August 2019)
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 03, 2020
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
Hand sanitizer jams ballot scanner in Iowa. So... That's a thing
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"My sisters are bridezillas in every sense of the word, and because I'm an excellent seamstress, they expect me to handmake both of their wedding dresses. How can I refuse their request?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun November 01, 2020
(The Dodo)
 
 
 
Man finds his ass with both hands
source: thedodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
Can the Cowboys find a way to win with Ben DiNucci at quarterback? Or will Carson Wentz and the Philadelphia Eagles manhandle Dallas to keep their division lead? Ribeye steak or cheesesteak? Sunday Night Football kicks off at 8:20 PM EST on NBC
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 31, 2020
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Crazy cat guy shares his favorite handmade cat costumes for Halloween, including John Constantine, Bob Ross, Dracula, Junkrat, and Spider-Man. Yes, he has a fiancée who designs backgrounds for his photoshoots
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 30, 2020
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Artist gives Wales a big hand
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
McDonald's Twitter account handler bemoans the fact that nobody loves him, other account handlers offer their sympathies
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Do you have covid? Do you have sperm? The University of Bergen would like you to lend a hand
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
The whole Tucker Carlson/Hunter Biden documents mess explained in one handy tweet
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Why so many white men approve of Trump's non-response to the pandemic. Short version: They built him up in their minds as a godlike hero, and can't handle the blow to their self-esteem that admitting they were wrong would cause. Also, they're racists
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Is your hand sanitizer freezing up? Time to get a new bottle of it
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Everyone's scaled-back Thanksgiving plans are leaving turkey farmers with too much tom on their hands
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Donald Trump has cancelled his election night celebration at his hotel in Washington and will instead spend it quietly at the White House pushing all the furniture against the doors and handcuffing himself to the staircase
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ford says it could sell 100K vehicles with a hands-free driving system in their first year. Note to self: buy stock in body shops STAT
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Beet)
 
 
 
Alan Cumming delivers free vegan hand pies to students affected by Covid. ALAN CUMMIN-- wait, who's Alan Cumming?
source: thebeet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 29, 2020
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
This is what should happen to people who hand out Jack Chick religious tracts instead of candy on Halloween
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Jon Ossoff may be getting a call from the US Capitol Police after his on-camera manhandling of a sitting senator last night
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Kate Spade and Coach brag about how much more women are spending on handbags during Covid. See, this is why I stick with Lewis Vuitton and Goochie
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
A record 200 days with no local cases makes Taiwan the world's envy. On the other hand, no one else has China all hot and bothered to invade them. Let's call it a wash
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 28, 2020
(Time)
 
 
 
College-educated women are fleeing Trump, no doubt to avoid the touch of his tiny, tiny hands
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 27, 2020
(The US Sun)
 
 
 
Just a reminder that while "No Drama Obama" didn't throw many elbows as president, that doesn't mean he didn't know HOW to throw them: Obama blasts Trump's handling of the coronavirus, says Trump is "Jealous of Covid's media coverage"
source: the-sun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The federal government has paid out over $2.5 million to Trump businesses, including $7,700 for a dinner, $6,000 for floral arrangements, and $3 for POTUS's glass of water he could hold with one hand
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
A closer look at how America's pro-life theocrats plan to move forward with establishing Gilead now that their very own handmaiden has been installed on the Supreme Court
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this handful of grapes
source: unlockingthebible.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"I've had to give up on my dream goal of getting a Ph.D. because my wife can't handle parenting our children by herself. Is that really fair?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Lane Kiffin threatens to pay $25,000 SEC fine with pennies. Yeah, like anyone can get their hands on 2.5 million pennies right now
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
On the other hand, who wants to practice social distancing in a strip club?
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 26, 2020
(Wion Earp)
 
 
 
Melania Trump body double only used for security concerns or when holding hands with the president is required
source: wionews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trek Movie)
 
 
 
"Mirror Kirk stands handsomely with his arms akimbo and is a fair likeness. Mirror Sulu looks fit and has a mischievous look on his face"
source: trekmovie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asbury Park Press)
 
 
 
Science teacher builds a conveyor belt that hands out Halloween candy to children
source: app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 25, 2020
(C|Net)
 
 
 
CDC report finds people who were infected with COVID-19 were twice as likely to have dined out beforehand. Eating out still isn't safe, remember the pandemic isn't over, just because you're over it
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 23, 2020
(New Musical Express)
 
 
 
Chelsea Handler offers to pull Fifty Cent out of tax debt if he votes for Biden
source: nme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Melania really loves holding her husband's hand, just look at... Oh... She yanks it away and then wipes it on her dress? Yikes
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 22, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
President "I'll self-finance and throw in another $100 million" reduced to scrounging for loose change in White House basement lounge couch cushions, jiggling coin return handles on vending machines, as the final campaign days unfold
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Narita Airport to fast-track Covid testing centers that for $380 will test passengers and in two hours hand them certificate proclaiming their virus-free status
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
He's a lousy fielder but on the other hand he can't hit. Tough choice
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
He was going down grade making ninety miles an hour, and his whistle broke into a scream. He was found in the wreck, with his hand on the throttle, and scalded to death by the steam. Biden Vs. Trump Debate Number Two, 9 PM ET
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Raise your hand if your country isn't seeing massive spikes in COVID-19 cases...woah, not so fast there Canada
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 21, 2020
(NPR)
 
 
 
'The burned hand teaches best. After that, advice about fire goes to the heart.'
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mary Sue)
 
 
 
What the HELL is happening to Mitch McConnell's hands?
source: themarysue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Murdered teacher's pupils handed over to judge. Jeez, was that all that was left of him?
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Welcome to Space Force, please raise your right hand
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 20, 2020
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
A federal judge in Atlanta is considering a case to throw out the CDC's 'no eviction' mandate. Snidely Whiplash last seen rubbing his hands together with glee
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Apparently Kim Jong-un tried to get his hands on black market Danish bull semen and smuggle it into North Korea in a bid to either boost cattle stocks in the reclusive nation or his own libido by doing shots of it (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 19, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Latest offense by the Liberal Media is not providing a chair big enough to handle our thicc president
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
On the day that he was betrayed into the hands of sinners, the Lord took his body and made it swole for your lack of discipline. He then took the cup of Celltech and blessed it, and said, "Drink, so that you may experience gains"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
North Korean prisoners are treated "worse than animals," according to reporter who has never seen a designer dog inside a handbag at Target
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pro surfer Bethany Hamilton announces she's pregnant with her third child. Wow. She must really have her hand full
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
State trooper saves toddler in runaway buggy. Pretty sure Leon Schlesinger hand drew each cell originally
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 18, 2020
(Winston-Salem Journal)
 
 
 
Republican poll watcher cited for assault because he doesn't understand that you watch with your eyes, not with your hands
source: journalnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Den Of Geek)
 
 
 
Strand and Alicia find themselves handcuffed in Ginny's camp, forced to clear a horde of Walkers. But Strand has a plan, and their new friend Dakota is the x-factor. Sadly, still no plot advancement. Fear the Walking Dead, 9 PM ET on AMC
source: denofgeek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump claims Melania says he's more handsomer than JFK
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 17, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Apparently, Oracle CEO donated $250K to PAC supporting Lindsey Graham days before Graham helped Oracle get the deal to purchase TikTok. Can't handle these coincidences
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Like many recent divorcées who can't get a handle on all the new spending needed, UK gets its credit rating downgraded
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 16, 2020
(NPR)
 
 
 
On the one hand we've had four years of the most misogynistic president in history, but now we have pussy hats so maybe it's a wash?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Business Journals)
 
 
 
Technology finally tackles handle jiggling
source: bizjournals.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"Oh, Mr. Trump, you have a great smile. You're so handsome when you smile. And I'm sure you'll still be smiling when you find out who I'm going to vote for this year"
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Note left with abandoned pupper reveals heartbreaking backstory, plus PS about importance of steak added in dog's handwriting (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 15, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
It's dueling Presidential Town Halls time. Instead of a second debate, President Trump and Vice President Biden will have separate Town Halls, at the same time. See first posts for YouTube links (8 PM ET for both)
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
The mouth of ancient jars were much larger than Donald Trump's hand width
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Bacon-scented facemasks. Because it's 2020 so why the hell not? (possible nsfw content on page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
Germany has managed to handle Covid-19 better than its neighbors, and now we know how
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 14, 2020
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
California GOP doubles down on fake ballot boxes, and is planning to put out more
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"Write drunk; edit sober." -Ernest Hemingway. Dangit, so that's what I've been doing wrong. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, sober editor edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Trevor Noah urges viewers not to waste their time with the handmaid's tall tales
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thread Reader)
 
 
 
New York Post dumped an article alleging to have emails from Hunter Biden about Burisma - this thread shows what to look for and urges caution when reading this "article"
source: threadreaderapp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
The Simpsons will dedicate a part of 2020's Treehouse of Horror to the greatest monster of all
source: news.avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Somehow, this WaPo article lamenting the fact that people were criticizing ACB for her outfit managed to not once mention that most of the internet was lamenting the fact that she chose to dress up as a Handmaid from Gilead
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 13, 2020
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Going to Disney World but worried about protesters? Just pack your AR-15 and a backup 9mm handgun to get you safely through The Magic Kingdom
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HotHardware)
 
 
 
Let's check in with the fine folks at Hot Hardware, and see what they think of the new Android 11 OS...oh, dear
source: hothardware.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Old and busted: running a 100 meters in 10.4 seconds. New hotness: going 100 meters in 10.4 seconds on a slip 'n slide
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
Here's Lindsey Graham panhandling on Fox News
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
We can't figure out how to handle things here on Earth, but sure, let's make some rules for how to behave on the moon
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Palestinian Premier Sums up all our thoughts on if Trump gets re-elected
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Something Awful has been sold to something awful. Please wash hands before installing load-bearing drywall
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJAC TV Johnstown)
 
 
 
The unasked question here is, If you can afford a hand gun, why are you robbing a Dollar Store?
source: wjactv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Electric guitar meets Hurdy Gurdy with the new Circle Guitar design
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food and Wine)
 
 
 
A pink pineapple? That costs $49? "It's like Del Monte knew 2020 would be the year nothing needs to make sense"
source: foodandwine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 12, 2020
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Machu Picchu temporarily ends seven-month ban on visitors, admits single Japanese tourist, on humanitarian grounds that he had come to Peru in March and had been trapped in Aguas Calientes waiting for ban to be lifted
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Surgeon who performed the nation's first hand transplant gives his last high five
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Hey Evangelicals, you got that 3rd SCOTUS seat, so feel free to treat Trump the same way he treats a wife with too much mileage
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPVI Pocatello)
 
 
 
Libertarian presidential candidate Jo Jorgensen describes her own pick for SCOTUS: "I think Alan Dershowitz would be a great choice"
source: kpvi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Public health expert opines that his profession needs to do a better job of hand-holding crybaby snowflakes through protecting themselves and others
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
This house in Riverside, California wins Halloween, hands down
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
European superstar racehorse is retired, enabled by her handlers to start running around
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
On one hand, Trump's economic adviser says Republicans should support Trump's thrown together stimulus plan. On the other hand, Larry Kudlow is wrong about everything
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Mom left mortified after daughter, 5, takes her sex lube to school to use as hand sanitiser and shares it with all her classmates
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Google's new Nest Thermostat uses radar to detect when you're nearby - and when you're not
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Adorable koala gives handler a kiss at 0:35. This is your 55 seconds of koala cuddles
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News International)
 
 
 
Somehow seeing photos of Taika Waititi goofing off with Chris Hemsworth and his family as they hang out on a beach near Australia does make the day feel a little bit brighter
source: thenews.com.pk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 11, 2020
(SFGate)
 
 
 
You can't handle the truth
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NFL)
 
 
 
It's Week 5 of the NFL season, can the Raiders hand the Chiefs their first loss, will the Texans get their fist win with Romeo, will it be the Cowboys or the Giants, the Colts or the Browns, Find out at 1:00 PM ET on CBS and FOX
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 10, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
270 million years of evolution vs. a couple of months' engineering: place your bets
source: republicworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sad and Useless)
 
 
 
My word - what a handsome well-attired horse. Do you two have the same tailor?
source: sadanduseless.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cosmopolitan)
 
 
 
This is probably the quickest "no" in the history of interrogative headlines
source: cosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Humans evolving to fap better
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
M-O-O-N, that spells trailer
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 09, 2020
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
CDC: Okay folks, we can get a handle on this thing if we mandate mask usage on all public transit. White House: Lol no
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Trump sign will cut you if you Fark with it
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
 
 
STEM learning should engage students' minds, hands and hearts; new GEEK tag
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Conversation)
 
Weeners
 
You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. (possibly nsfw words)
source: theconversation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Guillermo del Toro is 56 today. *jazz hands*
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 08, 2020
(WVLT)
 
 
 
They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body... instead, there were a couple mothballs, a handful of Werther's Originals, and an old cookie tin full of buttons and sewing supplies
source: wvlt.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Locksmith saves terrified woman when she writes '911' on her hand after her violent stalker ex-boyfriend takes her hostage in her own home
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
Woman saves four baby squirrels, individually hands them back
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
Video
 
Michigan Governor Whitmer (D-on't take shiat) eviscerates Trump for "giving comfort" to domestic terrorists like her would-be assassins, then tells people to be kind, wear their masks, and wash their damn hands like a boss
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 07, 2020
(Fark)
 
 
 
[SCENE: EDITOR collapses, hands clenching pages] EDITOR: Stay back, you demon commas, what do you even want with me? [MAN IN WHITE COAT] There here is. You're comma with us. [EDITOR] Nooooooo This is your Fark Writer's Thread, punctual edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Geeks Are Sexy)
 
 
 
The most ridiculous sexy Halloween costumes of 2020. I especially like the sexy fried chicken hottie, and there's the sexy hand sanitizer too
source: geeksaresexy.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Sports)
 
 
 
Sharks use sign language to communicate (w/ video)
source: nhl.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Democrats say they will focus on issues and not the handmaid's tales during ACB's confirmation hearings
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Supreme Aunt nominee Amy Covid Barrett started out as a handmaid
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
If you're going to bring 2 handguns and 2 boxes of ammo to your Christian school in your lunchbox, be sure to have another gun on you for when the teachers take your lunchbox away
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 06, 2020
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
'Two Missouri men charged for illegal hand fishing at Lake of the Ozarks' Not a euphemism, we're just noodling here
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rare.us)
 
 
 
The man who killed Jeffrey Dahmer is now a poet. Buried lede: blames eating bread with too much sugar in it
source: rare.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The election is now a referendum on how Trump has handled COVID-19. Oh dear
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Any jack o' lantern ideas you all come up with for Halloween yet?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Maine guide so ova being stuck at home he decides to pullet together and bring some chick camping and canoeing on the Allagash Waterway. It must be slow going having to keep one hand on your cock the whole trip
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Get Surrey)
 
 
 
Coronavirus has forever changed the roast dinner buffet. "Instead of walking up to the carvery deck to choose what meat and veggies we wanted, our waiter told us we had to tick everything we wanted from the sheet, even the mustard and mint sauce"
source: getsurrey.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 05, 2020
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Today's housing market being ruined by coastal transplants and their cheap money is: Denver
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
"Why writing by hand makes kids smarter" sybbu tiped
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
Donald Trump Jr. thinks his father acts crazy, demands the Presidency to be handed over to him, the oldest son, as it is his birthright
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
John Oliver unpacks the White House's Covid-19 clusterf*ck; "So many of the decisions that Trump and those around him made this week look absolutely appalling in hindsight. We may look back on Saturday's White House event and say 'this began there'"
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"I'm fourteen years old and am old enough to have Instagram, but my parents won't let me. How can I convince them I'm mature and responsible enough to handle it?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Grindr handles account security cock-up
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
No one loves to fly, and it shows
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
OK - hands up. How many of you guys have EVER done this?
source: healthing.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun October 04, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
Brett Hankison testified to the grand jury that he saw "a large figure" in a military stance holding "an AR-15 long gun" firing multiple shots "executing" his colleagues. The Truth: Breonna Taylor's boyfriend fired one shot at police from a 9mm handgun
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 03, 2020
(KOBI 5)
 
 
 
Oregon county decides to leave Emergency Alert notices in hands of private software company. It turned out kinda how you would expect when the fires began
source: kobi5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Regina police on the lookout for criminal hand after brazen theft of thousands of dollars worth of: A) jewelry, B) electronics, C) Crest white strips?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 02, 2020
(NYPost)
 
 
 
'Pissed off': Broncos' Vic Fangio didn't want team shaking Jets' hands, weasels
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing. On the other hand, even if no one does anything sometimes evil is just too incompetent to triumph anyway, as this ineffective firebombing attack shows
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass red panda cub who lost a sister gets an adopted brother
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Drop the pruning saw or I will cut you down
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 01, 2020
(AP News)
 
 
 
Trump cancels Wisconsin rally amid surging COVID-19 cases, getting ass handed to him by 'Sleepy Joe'
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
You want a piece of me? Here, try my cane you farkwad
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
Mad Libs headline: 'Cake Boss' star Buddy Valastro fears he won't bake again after grisly bowling injury
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(We Are Central PA)
 
 
 
Mad Libs headline: 'Cake Boss' star Buddy Valastro fears he won't bake again after grisly bowling injury
source: wearecentralpa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Just another Trump supporter acting with all of the civility of his leader
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
The strangest soccer goal you will see this week
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
The etiquette of handling unruly kids-that aren't yours
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Department of Agriculture requires that any foo banks giving away those new federal "food boxes" to needy families must also include a Trump-signed letter telling them how lucky they are that Trump the Wise has bestowed this beneficence upon them
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
It's October and 2020 cancelled the official Oktoberfest in Germany, but that's no reason not to do the Chicken Dance Challenge with beer in each hand; it's just like the regular chicken dance but with BEER. So it is exactly like the chicken dance
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 30, 2020
(Comic Sands)
 
 
 
Man: Will you marry me? Woman: YES. 2020: I don't think so
source: comicsands.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Please remember: It's unprofessional to rub a pint of ice cream on your crotch before handing it to a customer
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Something called a "Shane Bieber" suffered his worst loss of the year at the hands of the New York Yankees
source: mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
The latest thing to steal your identity, empty your accounts, steal your spouse, and sign you up for 73 different shopping services? It's probably in your hand right now
source: theregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 29, 2020
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Trump: New York will be the last state to get the vaccine. Governor Cuomo: Don't threaten New York just because we hurt your fee fees. We know how to handle bullies here
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Nestle's CEO says the pandemic has made management more hands-on in its global destruction of resources
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Amazon to offer palm-scanning tech for entry into its retail stores, hopes you visit the Setec Astronomy department
source: chargedretail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Unusual food pairings. Culinary nightmares to the left - 'You Disgust Me' jpeg's to the right
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Will I regret having only one child? I'm in my mid-30s, have a 14 month-old daughter, and don't know if I can handle being out of the game for months again"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Christian group raises half a million bucks for murderer
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
OK, but it's going to be a bit awkward with all these EMTs around
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 28, 2020
(Messy Nessy Chic)
 
 
 
Tired of your usual diversions? Try some that need both hands
source: messynessychic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Real Clear Science)
 
 
 
Uh, all of it?
source: realclearscience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun (Ireland))
 
 
 
Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand hilarious mishaps if you catch it at the right moment
source: thesun.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun September 27, 2020
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Japan declares war on the fax machine. This is not an article from 1995
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
2020 strikes again: Cleveland Browns are over .500 for the first time since 2014. Tomorrow's forecast: raining frogs, dogs copulating with cats
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Well, to be fair, elections are tough when you don't have Manafort handing over polling data to Kremlin GRU agents
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 26, 2020
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Christian pastor: The Constitution forbids a Democrat from asking about a Republican's cult
source: friendlyatheist.patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
I put it to the court that the defendant broke my client's hand. With his face
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 25, 2020
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Could you handle meeting this Vermont police dog?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
DeSantis says fark it, let everything open back up. Subby would use the Facepalm tag but it's off somewhere slathering itself in hand sanitizer
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Overly optimistic young people with no hearts and no souls think the GOP will bite the hand of the fossil fuel industry that pays for their campaigns
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman mistakenly gives grandson hand sanitizer after mistaking it for a food pouch
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
You'll only be able to get everyone to quit using Windows XP after you pry the source code from our cold dead hands
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Trump and his handlers try to pass off his lies and controversial statements as jokes, problem is, most of his followers aren't in on the joke
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 24, 2020
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
People incarcerated in Richmond's jail had concerns about how the jail's COVID outbreak was being handled. In response, deputies tear gassed them in their cells and made them sleep in clothes contaminated by chemical weapons and their own vomit
source: rvamag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
You took me by the hand. Made me a man.That one night. You made everything alright. That one night. You made everything alright. So raw, so right, all night, alright. Oh yeah, oh yeah this is your 7 p.m. ET MSNBC thread
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
No word on how they got the Zebrafish to vape
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KALB Alexandria)
 
 
 
Louisiana police officer who claimed he was "ambushed" and shot confesses to "accidentally" shooting himself
source: kalb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
On the one hand, this story of a violent extremist is terrifying, but on the other hand, it's the story of the tense struggle between Ben Hung and FBI Agent Diamond Outlaw so it's probably also a direct to video movie on Cinemax
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Law and Crime)
 
 
 
To diminish the fact Trump and his family were found to be illegally running the Trump Foundation for their own benefit, AG Bill Barr asks, "Whatabout the Clinton Foundation?"
source: lawandcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10TV Columbus)
 
 
 
Ohio woman handcuffed and tased for not wearing a face covering at a JV football game claims she was not being arrested for not doing nothing wrong, and you can't never not disagree with that
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Silicon Valley may be about to get burned by the hands that fed it
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Today in random word headlines: Cake Boss Star injured in bowling related incident
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 23, 2020
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
Zack Snyder will shoot additional 'Justice League' scenes next month OH GOD WHEN WILL THE NIGHTMARE END?
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Not so great, if you ask Subby
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Page Six asks, "Who is Bryson DeChambeau's girlfriend?" Subby needs them to back it up and start with this Bryson DeChambeau character
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Xpress)
 
 
 
Heart attack? Get humpin' for better pumpin'
source: medicalxpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 22, 2020
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
It's 2020 and time for zombie hurricanes. Welcome back, Paulette
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Trick-or-treating is a high risk activity according to the CDC. I'll say, you could run into one of those people that hand out Jack Chick tracts, or even worse, candy corn
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 21, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
The POTUS himself has confirmed that Covid-19 was simply a PR problem. The rest of it was handled in an A+ manner, clearly, although over 200,000 won't say so
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indy100)
 
 
 
"Shortly after saying the word "woman", Trump made a gesture with his hands which has got people talking. Take a look for yourself." (video)
source: indy100.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Okay prove it Hotshot
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Sometimes "hocus-pocus" is a pretty cool hand
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Handy map of which states' hospitals price gouge the most
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Subaru WRX drivers have to get to the gym in 25 minutes
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun September 20, 2020
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Nigel, David and Derek may finally be able to afford a monument that is not in danger of being trod on by a dwarf
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Motley Fool)
 
 
 
You may regret retiring early if you are poor, sick and bored. Of course you may also regret working if you are poor, sick and bored
source: fool.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
I do say, you have the keys to these handcuffs, right? Yes. Well, okay then. [amorous time passes] Was that as good for you as it was for me? Can you take off these cuffs now? Blimey, why are you calling the police?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 19, 2020
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Good deed punished. But he got hired right away by an employer who values integrity over policy
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 18, 2020
(Bothell-Kenmore Reporter)
 
 
 
Possible rare seven-armed octopus washes up on beach, no doubt going for the even rarer moss-covered three-handled family gredunza
source: bothell-reporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Man holds tin cup with 2 hands
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
At Trump PA rally people cheered when Mark McCloskey spoke of grabbing an AR-15 rifle from his house. They applauded when he said he was ready to kill a protester allegedly threatening him. Nearly no one wore masks, at least one openly wore a handgun
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Six weeks to go until election day. Anyone else feel like getting knocked out cold with a shovel and spending that time in a medically-induced coma?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uncle Fest-er)
 
 
 
Get drunk at Oktoberfest this year from the comfort of your home. It will bring back memories of trips to Germany, previous holidays, prior Tuesdays, Wednesday, every morning in 2020
source: thepitchkc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
That will come in handy, especially at the start of the game
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Media Matters)
 
 
 
Vote tallies on election night show Trump leading in some states. Subsequently counted mail-in ballots show Biden's catching him. Let's look to 2018 to see how he'll handle it and oh shiat, we've known this for 2 years now
source: mediamatters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australian stock broker's double life as a drunken bank robber catches up with him decades later
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Knowing its business is booming due to the pandemic, the world's largest medical glove maker offers the covid a laurel, and hearty handshake
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 17, 2020
(IGN)
 
 
 
Mosasaur Lagoon mayhem Jurassic Park Camp Cretaceous premieres at midnight tonight on Netflix. Subby designed this set for the show
source: ign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Study presents evidence that the "Little Ice Age" was triggered by sea ice
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Here's a handy guide to spot and mock discredited, debunked, idiotic QAnon conspiracy theories
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Covid conscious pensioner has a D'oh-vid moment, mistakes slushy machine for hand sanitiser at gas station
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Cats being jerks
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 16, 2020
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
With the evidence no longer spotty, solar cycle 25 has officially begun
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Prevail)
 
 
 
On Celebrity Apprentice, talent handler Noel Casler's nicknames for Trump's two eldest kids were Vanky (who he accuses of developing a "breathy cooing voice" to give her father "pants feelings") and Scrump ("a combo of scrotum & Trump")
source: gregolear.substack.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
"For some reason, there are people out there who find it a sensory pleasure to chew on handfuls of spud shards that jab at their gums"
source: eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 15, 2020
(CNN)
 
 
 
ViacomCBS rebrands CBS All Access as Paramount+ in anticipation of a worldwide rollout. Subby still watching the handful of shows from complimentary AppleTV+ subscription
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hey LeBron, since we underhandedly blame you for police officers being shot, please cough up
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Hand sanitizer labeled "edible alcohol" recalled. 40% of Americans go back to drinking bleach
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
"Think about your worst day at the office, then multiply that by about 1,000"
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Site of male sexual desire uncovered in brain, pants, hands
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sci Tech Daily)
 
 
 
The next time someone tells you some drug doesn't bind to human cells in a Petri dish, remember: neither does a handgun
source: scitechdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon September 14, 2020
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
One person without taste buds has eaten at every chain restaurant, and swears these are the best items on the menu
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWE)
 
 
 
For the fist time ever (in the WWE) Drew McIntyre takes on Keith Lee, Asuka defends her RAW title vs Micki James, The Bar Nation 2.0 faces the Street Profits & Dominik battles Seth in a steel cage All that on RAW and more starting at 8 PM ET on USA
source: wwe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed News)
 
 
 
Facebook whistleblower: "I have blood on my hands"
source: buzzfeednews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
This thing better have the good dark meet innards from the 80s and come with the best sauce....sweet and sour
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Nintendo to release retro Game & Watch, the 1980 handheld device. Being Nintendo, they'll build 20 of them, then make everyone else wait 6 months
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Presidential relative and trained clinical psychologist Mary Trump on why Donald is suddenly accusing Biden of drug use: *removes glove from hand, places it on Trump's forehead* It's afraid, it's AFRAID
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun September 13, 2020
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Apparently the Florida Governor and the state's judicial nominating commission don't know how to count to 10
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Stoner)
 
 
 
Cannabis Consumption... um, after work ... um, doesn't affect... um, something ... um, oh yeah, Productivity. That's it Productivity. Hey man, ya got anything to eat?
source: intelligentliving.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)