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headlines found matching 'Florida'

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Tue October 04, 2022
		"Hurricane Ian slammed into one of the fastest-growing areas of the country, putting hundreds of thousands of people in harm's way - many of whom had never experienced a hurricane." Welcome to the party, pals source: cnn.com \| share:	30
		TFG, who didn't take classified documents the FBI planted at M-A-L, is going to the SCOTUS to demand them back, remind the judges who hired them source: cnn.com \| share:	147
		Florida Woman stabs sister in the heart. Sister's last words: "What the F***?" source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	51
		Watch ULA do its part in drying out Florida by launching two communication satellites at 5:36 PM ET source: rocketlaunch.live \| share:	12
		WTF do people in New Hampshire have in their lives that they need to be so drunk about? Greeting card picture fatigue? source: vinepair.com \| share:	18
		Somehow both Kentucky and Florida are on the right side of history here source: thetakeout.com \| share:	18

Mon October 03, 2022
		Ron Desantis defends his decisions not to evacuate Lee County FL as the death toll hits 42 so far, by noting it's not like he could score any political points by shipping the residents to Martha's Vineyard or anything source: msn.com \| share:	65
		Florida Man saved from hurricane Ian by smacking meat mallet, thrusting through curtains, grabbing wood, using his palm source: aol.com \| share:	23
		Man, nothing like revisiting the classics source: msn.com \| share:	73
(Some Guy)		DeSatan: Way too busy with my new immigrant delivery service to work on fixing Florida's pesky property insurance market, but what's the worst that can happen? source: popular.info \| share:	44
		Old and busted: Venezuelan migrants bussed to NYC by Florida taxpayers. New hotness: Venezuelan migrants bussed from NYC by Florida hurricane cleanup company that needs workers source: nypost.com \| share:	33
		Florida gonna be in pain: "That's because the law allows Citizens to add a surcharge, derisively known as a hurricane tax, to the bills of its customers and eventually customers of other insurance polices, such as auto, to pay off its debts" source: politico.com \| share:	111
		Man hangs out on sofa during Hurricane Ian. However, being Florida, there's so much more to the story source: news.sky.com \| share:	40
		Florida Man swims half a mile, ostensibly to save his mom. Article doesn't explain why he took a ton of action selfies and then called the media source: msn.com \| share:	30
		Rubio, mock you 'bout the hurricane source: businessinsider.com \| share:	38
		Darth Trumpious promises to 'punish' Florida if Death Sentence is re-elected source: independent.co.uk \| share:	107

Sun October 02, 2022
		My Maserati went 185, the teen that stole it couldn't drive source: msn.com \| share:	89
		Sunday Night Football sees Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs travel to Tampa to take on Tom Brady and the Buccaneers in Raymond James Stadium. Can Brady thread the eye of the storm for a victory or will the Chiefs blow the Bucs down, NBC @8:20pm ET source: espn.com \| share:	721
		Rubio vows to fight hurricane relief money if it ends up helping more people than he feels it should source: cnn.com \| share:	77
		Florida has gone full post-apocalyptic wasteland in the wake of Hurricane Ian source: nbc-2.com \| share:	106
		"This 100% solar community endured Hurricane Ian with no loss of power and minimal damage" source: cnn.com \| share:	109
		Or we could just evacuate the entire state permanently, which would solve a lot of other problems as well source: vox.com \| share:	39
		"Um you did load my wheelchair onto the plane, right?" source: independent.co.uk \| share:	78

Sat October 01, 2022
		Well shiat. PHX isn't farking around source: azfamily.com \| share:	65
		Good thing we've got the Scientologists source: wfla.com \| share:	41
		Official Florida Policy: "You Loot, We Shoot" source: nypost.com \| share:	143
		Ian will ruin insurance companies source: politico.com \| share:	65
		Many Americans are apparently apprehensive about sending hurricane relief donations to Florida. Possible concerns include money being spent on meth-fueled shark joyrides and enabling more forced immigrant airplane rides source: ibtimes.com \| share:	127
		Poor planning? Climate change? Not in my Florida. (Just ignore all the death, damage, flooding and mayhem) source: usatoday.com \| share:	176
		Possible levee break following major hurricane. Not a repeat of 2005 source: heraldtribune.com \| share:	42
		blows pitchpipe calls insurance provider - The wind began to switch.. the house.. to pitch.. and suddenly the hinges started to.. unhitch..just then..the, yes, I'll hold source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	34

Fri September 30, 2022
		Fox Business Expert: Hurricane Ian will fuel Florida economy source: foxbusiness.com \| share:	60
		Gon-derp calls for aid source: masslive.com \| share:	56
		Life imitates 'The Onion': Hurricane Ian is the deep state using "weather manipulation technology" to punish Gov. Ron DeSantis for not enacting a vaccine mandate in Florida source: twitter.com \| share:	109
		Florida man attempts to jet ski to Bahamas, becomes Florida Man source: nypost.com \| share:	33
		Tampa reckons with survivors' guilt source: tampabay.com \| share:	33
		A Florida FBI Agent was suspended after refusing to execute search and arrest warrants against Jan 6th suspects "due [to] overzealous charging by the DOJ and biased jury pools in Washington D.C.,". Naturally GOP lawmakers are hailing him as a hero source: msn.com \| share:	47
		Waffle House measured the fury of Hurricane Ian, says it probably could have used more whipped margarine source: 9news.com.au \| share:	21
		"Bob" has been found. /WAIGAWAIITH source: nbcnews.com \| share:	84
		Orlando Magic canceled two straight days of practice due to Ian. Not a game, not a game. We're talkin' about... practice source: apnews.com \| share:	4
		Florida homes downgraded to junk. As it was before, so it shall ever be source: nbcnews.com \| share:	51
		As a congressman, DeSantis opposed aid for Hurricane Sandy calling it a "boondoggle" and now as Florida governor he is petitioning Biden for relief from Hurricane Ian source: twitter.com \| share:	104

Thu September 29, 2022
		We've had one Hurricane Ian landfall, yes, but what about second Hurricane Ian landfall? source: nbcnews.com \| share:	57
		DeathSentence: This is a 500 year rainfall that we could not possibly have anticipated. CNN: No, it's a 1000 YEAR RAINFALL. Scientists: have you listened to a damn thing we've been saying for the past 20 years? source: cnn.com \| share:	35
		4PM Eastern - It's the Fark News Livestream with Drew, Christine, Dill & Lucky. More Florida Man than you can shake a stick at edition source: twitch.tv \| share:	1
		Photos show the worst of Hurricane Ian devastation in Florida, mostly involving cheap beer and t-shirts source: tampabay.com \| share:	160
		In a move that would have been appropriate at any time in the past 200 years, Biden officially declares Florida a disaster. Stay safe, Florida Farkers source: vanityfair.com \| share:	154
		Chicago's best dessert is expanding nationwide and NO, it's not their 'casseroles' source: thetakeout.com \| share:	21
		Florida TV reporter explains condom mystery during outdoor hurricane broadcast source: news.com.au \| share:	56
		In Florida, "storm-surge" apparently means "surf's up" source: twitter.com \| share:	42
(Some Guy)		It's all fun and games until the McLaren P1 floats away source: carvibz.com \| share:	40
		Florida Man on a wave runner will rock you like a hurricane source: twitter.com \| share:	30

Wed September 28, 2022
		King of dick moves uses actual Hurricane to make new dick move source: msn.com \| share:	41
		Jim Cantore eats it source: fox13news.com \| share:	46
		Tom Brady unable to deflate Ian, flees to Miami with his family source: people.com \| share:	5
		Neckbearded IT guys considering upgrading Ian to Cat5e source: cnn.com \| share:	74
		Ian is so drunk with power that even Waffle Houses are closing source: usatoday.com \| share:	92
		Actual headline: Florida woman spots heart in clouds over Orlando as Hurricane Ian nears: 'We'll be fine' source: fox35orlando.com \| share:	69
		Rest easy Florida Farkers. The most trusted man from the most trusted news source says that hurricanes are just a scam source: huffpost.com \| share:	111
		Hurricane Ian is so severe that tornadoes are fleeing in front of it source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	35
		The National Hurricane Center is warning of (and I quote) "life-threatening storm surge", "devastating winds", and "catastrophic flooding". Good luck, Florida source: nhc.noaa.gov \| share:	85
		But records for her house only date back to 1921, when the Florida Hall of Records mysteriously blew away source: twitter.com \| share:	26
		If you're going to announce on live television that somebody should call you to prove they're not petty, you should probably expect an immediate phone call. Isn't that right, Ron DeSantis? source: thehill.com \| share:	116
		Three men arrested for trying to capture UFOs for lucrative secondary market source: wsaz.com \| share:	26

Tue September 27, 2022
		DeSantis faces the true test of any real Florida governor. Good luck there, Ronny boy source: politico.com \| share:	110
		Tom Brady says Bucs practicing in Miami due to Hurricane Ian is no excuse when preparing for Chiefs, before taking his wife-mandated Wednesday off from practice source: nfl.com \| share:	2
		Jan 6 committee postpones final hearing because it can't compete with the Weather channel source: politico.com \| share:	77
		Owners are moaners, and buyers are liars source: cnbc.com \| share:	20
		Trump hired a real lawyer. Paid him $3 million up front. And now he's been sidelined, presumably because he gave Trump real legal advice source: cnn.com \| share:	152
		Gosh, do you think this will screw up Sunday Night Football? source: msn.com \| share:	46
		Hurricane Ian to become Florida Man on Wednesday. This is your official Ian discussion thread. Anyone evacuates as far north as Kentucky let Drew know so he can buy you a beer source: noaa.gov \| share:	259
		Those are not YOUR migrants to traffic, they are MY migrants to traffic source: yahoo.com \| share:	33
		Florida Man does exactly what you'd expect Florida Man to do in a Camaro when confronted by police source: news4jax.com \| share:	32

Mon September 26, 2022
		Job creators are furious that DeSantis is sending their cheap labor to blue states source: cnn.com \| share:	68
		While Hurricanes for most Floridians are just one more thing to put on the massive pile of "Things Trying to Kill You" but forecasters are warning that Ian is "'something that we haven't seen in our lifetime" source: cnn.com \| share:	205
		Story about how Florida guy is champion pizza maker. All I can see is hair ending up in the dough source: fox13news.com \| share:	61
		Boise State's offensive coordinator feeling blue after Friday night's loss to UTEP source: thespun.com \| share:	11

Sun September 25, 2022
		Hurricane Fiona pales in comparison to Cheeto/DeSatan storm brewing in Florida. Soooo many tags to choose from source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	58
		Chuck E. Cheese security guard tries to get crowd to take fight outside. Then things get Florida tag worthy source: wfla.com \| share:	42
		So Elon Musk is spreading Chemtrails over central PA? source: wgal.com \| share:	38
		Dragon fruits might be a bad thing for farmers. Do they even taste good? source: tastingtable.com \| share:	31
		'Rapid intensification' is never a phrase you want to hear when turning on the Weather Channel. Also, Gulf Coast Floridians need to brace themselves as Ian means business source: weather.com \| share:	129

Sat September 24, 2022
		Beware the Wrath of Ian source: cnn.com \| share:	54
		Two men in Florida allegedly argue over whose turn it is at karaoke. What's the worst that could happen? source: wsvn.com \| share:	60
		Week 4 starts at Noon ET for college football. Can Clemson burn Wake Forest? Can Florida chomp Tennessee? Can Arkansas say goodnight to Texas A&M? Where will the big upsets be? All this and much more, so let's crack open one and enjoy source: espn.com \| share:	211
		DeSantis declares state of emergency over Tropical Depression 9, which is 8 too many source: cbsnews.com \| share:	108
		Director of the Office of Election Crimes and Security for Florida has a change of heart, decides to become conspiracy theory source: floridapolitics.com \| share:	39

Fri September 23, 2022
		Tips for getting upgraded on your next flight: dress nicely, be polite, and CashApp $167 on the side to the checkin agent source: inquirer.com \| share:	37
		Before clicking on the link and reading the details, do you believe that social networks should be regulated as common carriers? source: arstechnica.com \| share:	48
		DeSantis skips selling expired steaks and leapfrogs directly to being sued source: theguardian.com \| share:	41
		Tremble before Thor puny mortal source: cnn.com \| share:	70

Thu September 22, 2022
		Breaking: Jameis Winston source: totalprosports.com \| share:	19
		Formula One boss Stefano Domenicali: A woman won't make it onto the F1 grid within five years. Driver Jamie Chadwick: Hold my beer source: independent.co.uk \| share:	13
		Wait, a funny Darth Hoodie story exists? For real? source: baltimoreravens.com \| share:	5
		Happy birthday, original Ahsoka Tano source: imdb.com \| share:	9
		Why space needs cry at rocket launches (and Florida is their paradise) source: tampabay.com \| share:	13
		You might want to sit down for this, but it turns out that Florida is infested with an "extensive" network of White supremacists and far-right extremists, some of whom might not be boomers source: cnn.com \| share:	25
		SCOTUS to decide if the 1st Amendment still applies to speech or if it's just a money thing source: axios.com \| share:	88
		Froot Loops are gay obvy source: advocate.com \| share:	95

Wed September 21, 2022
		Crist has Risen (over $1 million in 48 hours) source: newrepublic.com \| share:	26
		Legal Loophole: The Store source: wfla.com \| share:	13
		Say what you will about California, but we don't have this NOPE problem source: wfla.com \| share:	37
		Hundreds of cans of beer spilled on highway, no wait, it's just Coors Light source: local10.com \| share:	22
		Federal Judge invents "Florida challenge", orders release of more than 100 patients trom Orgeon State's locked psychiatric hospital source: wweek.com \| share:	78
		Florida man gets arrested instead of laid source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	42
		Man arrested for abusing sandhill crane. Mary Austin unavailable for comment source: wpbf.com \| share:	40

Tue September 20, 2022
		Gallant California converts 12,500 hotel rooms into affordable housing. Goofus Florida and Missouri managed to do it too. And here's New York, which set $200 million on fire source: politico.com \| share:	33
		Cole Beasley finally getting a shot source: espn.com \| share:	7
		Regardless of whether it constituted human trafficking, the $12M budgetary measure DeathSentence likes to tout never even applied in the first place to the migrants he sent to Martha's Vineyard source: politico.com \| share:	90
		Someone finally explained to Gov. DeathSantis that he could be liable for a charge of criminal human trafficking in regards to his little Martha's Vineyard stunt. Let's see how fast he can backpedal source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	221

Mon September 19, 2022
		Wait, Texas is investigating DeSantis over VineyardGate? source: local10.com \| share:	122
		There aren't enough tags for this one: Anti-vax, conservative Canadian chiropractor stabs two children while withdrawing from synthetic cannabis after moving to Florida source: cbc.ca \| share:	80
		Tua has apparently pissed off an NFL executive really badly source: bleacherreport.com \| share:	16

Sat September 17, 2022
		Couple rents U-Haul truck to store their belongings in while waiting for new house to be ready. After truck is loaded, truck is parked in hotel parking lot. Later, things get Florida tag worthy source: abcactionnews.com \| share:	54
		Florida Man, British food, sports, and booze are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, September 8-14: Aubergine Edition source: fark.com \| share:	9
		5th Circuit Court: Facebook and Twitter have no right to remove Nazis and terrorists from their websites source: npr.org \| share:	274

Fri September 16, 2022
		Two games are on tap for Friday Night college football. Is a Louisville win in the Cards against Florida State? Will Wyoming ground Air Force? Find out at 7:30 PM ET on ESPN and 8:00 PM on CBSSN, respectively source: espn.com \| share:	5
		Folks building a new home in Florida fail to check mark the box to include a street in front of the home source: wfla.com \| share:	33

Thu September 15, 2022
		Bed Bath & 150 stores to the Great Beyond source: cnbc.com \| share:	8
		Tracking Trump's 'extraordinary' endorsement spree is easy, just look at all the losers run over by his bus source: bbc.com \| share:	8
		One of the largest homes in Tampa, built in 2011 for Derek Jeter and once home to Tom and Gisele, was sold for $22M last year and is being torn down to build a new home source: tampabay.com \| share:	62
		DeSantis: Biden's American Rescue Plan is bad. Also DeSantis: Hey, first responders, I'm giving you all $1,000 bonuses Journalists: And just where do you think that money came from? source: politico.com \| share:	27
		Trump warns of big problems if he's indicted, like subby fitting the contents of a liquor and sandwich shop into his car for the post indictment orgy source: independent.co.uk \| share:	142
		Facing real competition and real problems, Texas and Florida governors waste millions trying to own libs source: businessinsider.com \| share:	156
		Hunting sober is like fishing... sober source: local10.com \| share:	19

Wed September 14, 2022
		Florida Man appears in show about moonshiners. Florida Man is arrested for making moonshine source: weartv.com \| share:	41
		Sure, sure. Florida is losing their status as a retirement destination due to remote work. But the real story is that a University has a "Florida Studies" program source: twitter.com \| share:	22
		Goatse strikes again source: nbcnews.com \| share:	79
		Terrible toddler takes terrifying doll everywhere she goes, making other kids cry is her terrifying mission source: metro.co.uk \| share:	66

Tue September 13, 2022
		Yesterday, TFG's legal eagles told the judge their Special Master should be able to decide what is REALLY a classified document. Today, the DOJ responds, and it's savage source: thehill.com \| share:	106
		The Weeknd has his own haunted house in Florida, featuring a decapitated The Weeknd source: tampabay.com \| share:	24

Mon September 12, 2022
		We've heard of being 3 or 4 times the legal limit. This guy .blew a .418, 5 times the legal limit in Florida source: wfla.com \| share:	57
		DeathSantis: Corporatism means the business leaders bend the knee to their fascist masters source: businessinsider.com \| share:	109

Sun September 11, 2022
		Tupac Shakur arrested in Florida source: nbcmiami.com \| share:	27
		"I had my phone by my hip and he reached over, hung up my call and said, 'I'm trying to talk to you.'" source: fox35orlando.com \| share:	38
(Some tracked guy)		Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you: Florida edition source: motorbiscuit.com \| share:	34

Sat September 10, 2022
		SpaceX launches that massive BlueWalker 3 satellite along with 34 Starlink satellites at 9:10 p.m. ET from Florida. This appears to be the 14th launch for this booster. This will also be Falcon 9's first five-burn mission. Stream begins at T-5:00 source: youtube.com \| share:	35
(Some Guy)		Chipotle wants you to join their 88 club. Nazis now recognized by their Brown Shorts source: teamchipotle.chipotle.com \| share:	150
		Florida cop looked at girl's nude photos on her phone while driving her to juvie. He was so distracted he hit a deer. He gave the girl half a sandwich, told her it "wasn't free," then handcuffed her, groped her and suggested a threesome with her mom source: tampabay.com \| share:	135
		Will Alabama roll over Texas? Will Arkansas beat the Cocks? Will Pitt win at home against Tennessee? How about Kentucky and Florida? Will Baylor harass BYU? Week 2 of college football continues at Noon ET source: espn.com \| share:	816

Fri September 09, 2022
		Sleazy city, seedy films, breathing so heavy next to my neighbor. Let's get acquainted. Getting to know you feeling sleazy in seedy sin city. Sleazy city, sleepy people, down in your alleys seems that anything goes in the 7 p.m. ET MSNBC thread source: msnbc.com \| share:	217
		Three Florida High School Teachers are perp walked for running 3 year scam where they took 100s of certification tests in advance and then gave the answers to their students as study guides. Pissed away their careers for $25-$50 per test source: tampabay.com \| share:	39
		Brady fumbles as Gisele breaks away for a run downfield source: thespun.com \| share:	38
		Wow that cheap, they must have used a coupon source: boredpanda.com \| share:	23
		Florida restaurant owner plays just the tip with their staff source: tampabay.com \| share:	92

Thu September 08, 2022
		Hey, is $50,000 worth of firearms included in that "Victims of Tyranny and Oppression" starter pack? Asking for a terrorist source: wusa9.com \| share:	97
		♫ Everybody here is out of sight. They don't growl and they don't bite. They keep things loose, they keep things light. Everybear was dancin' in the moonlight ♫ source: fox13news.com \| share:	8
		DOJ not ready to submit to their new Master source: cnbc.com \| share:	127
		Like most farkers Jess Pegula also drowns her sorrows in beer after losing source: outkick.com \| share:	9
		Florida: Don't say "gay." Games Done Quick: Don't say you're hosting our events source: kotaku.com \| share:	104
		Like a Brutus to Bro Country, here's the Florida Georgia Line elegy we needed... starting with their strange ties to Nickelback source: savingcountrymusic.com \| share:	12
		"Hot rails of meth?" Sounds like Florida to me source: flaglerlive.com \| share:	27
		"When deputies asked him to step out of his vehicle, he reached towards the center console and pulled out a three-foot steel sword. Deputies immediately backed off as he attached a metal dragon-shaped handle to the base of the blade." Yup, Florida source: wfla.com \| share:	70
		Cruise ships are deadly to both wildlife and passengers. The shark and their cholesterol may never recover source: cnn.com \| share:	26

Wed September 07, 2022
		When it's time for subby to shuffle off this mortal coil, I hope it's half as cool as this ultra-rare rim rock crowned snake, found posthumously with a giant centipede crammed 2/3 down its gullet source: livescience.com \| share:	28
		Officials warn "extremely toxic" juvenile orange-tinged creature with a bad combover is wreaking havoc in Florida source: wfla.com \| share:	33
		My girlfriend and I sold our Florida home. Our $200,000 profit was wired to her account and she refuses to give me my fair share. Is this what it's like to be the screw-ee? source: msn.com \| share:	19

Tue September 06, 2022
		Easily the Most-Florida image you'll see today source: nypost.com \| share:	28
		Florida's government seems to have accidentally mixed up their copies of "Robert's Rules of Order" and "The Rules of Calvinball" source: politico.com \| share:	19
		Subby normally attracted to a creative infographic like a moth to a flame, but this is simply terrifying source: projects.fivethirtyeight.com \| share:	95
		Convincing Congressman how wonderful your troubled KC-46 tanker is would be easier if your thingy wasn't hanging out source: airforcetimes.com \| share:	12

Mon September 05, 2022
		Count on Belichick to innovate even on how his team travels source: cbssports.com \| share:	12
		If only there were a way to mark these hazards to navigation source: nypost.com \| share:	29
		Florida finally breaks off from Georgia source: msn.com \| share:	25
(Some Guy)		We've talked beer and grilling and sides galore, so let's now Discuss what we really put in our mouths this Labor Day Monday source: countryliving.com \| share:	63

Sun September 04, 2022
		How to single handedly take on the entire US Air Force: Step 1: Reply All. Step 2: That's all source: gizmodo.com \| share:	26
		Sunday Night gives us only one football game but it is a good one with Florida State taking on LSU in the Superdome. Can the Noles roll against the Tigers? Or will LSU have their way with FSU? Kickoff is at 7:30 PM ET on ABC source: espn.com \| share:	73
		Baby brings a rattle, toddler brings a gun. 'Tis the Florida way source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	47

Sat September 03, 2022
		Walt Disney's Frozen Head may soon be a margarita drink at Disney World source: thestreet.com \| share:	23
		Get your spot at the bar early, for this fall's kegs of Yankee fans' tears will be particularly plentiful and uniquely tasty. Lay in a couple cases of the 2022 vintage, that's our advice source: tampabay.com \| share:	23
		Trump lawyer Alina Habba contradicts Alina Habba after saying Alina Habba had thoroughly searched for documents Alina Habba was not qualified to see. "I'm happy to explain this" source: independent.co.uk \| share:	116
		Biden: "MAGA Republicans do not respect the Constitution. They do not believe in the rule of law. They do not recognize the will of the people." Florida GOP chair: "HOLD MY BEER" source: wesh.com \| share:	62

Fri September 02, 2022
		"Yeah," Florida Man said, "it's cocaine" source: macon.com \| share:	15
		Deputies arrest Florida man who left dead animals at Parkland shooting memorial. Features the most Florida of FloridaMan mug shots source: wdbo.com \| share:	67
		It's BO Time in central Florida...whatever that means source: fox35orlando.com \| share:	16
		Bad news if you're gross enough to eat mushrooms source: ibtimes.com \| share:	36

Thu September 01, 2022
		Florida to felons: We give you the right to vote then we take the right away. We mail you voter IDs then we arrest you anyways. You're stuck in the hokey pokey while DeSantis acts like a clown. That's what it's all about source: theguardian.com \| share:	77
		Florida couple felt lucky to rent a 3 bedroom 2 bath home, w/ all utilities, cable, WiFi, and water for $1,350 a month. The scammer felt even luckier to have found the Florida couple who sent him cash by zelle without confirming anything source: fox13news.com \| share:	38
		Florida Man: Damn, I didn't budget for a really shady lawyer source: usatoday.com \| share:	45
		Looking for a new state in which to retire? Don't look at Florida source: cnbc.com \| share:	91
		Oh, bother source: wfla.com \| share:	13

Wed August 31, 2022
		Florida man in trouble for swearing in court. Fark: he's the judge source: wesh.com \| share:	8
		Florida wildlife director loses hand after alligator bite. I'm not an expert, but I think I know where they should look for it source: cnn.com \| share:	37
		"the moral of the story is when your 3-year-old throws a fit over absolutely needing a super creepy Halloween doll... buy the doll" source: nypost.com \| share:	15
		DeSantis to release GOP greatest hits volume 35, it contains one track, and it's identical to the previous other 34 albums source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	46

Tue August 30, 2022
		Bull escapes ring at rodeo, shows fans a good time before intrepid cowpoke lassoes him with one twirl of the ol' lariat YEEEHAAAAW source: fox13news.com \| share:	3

Mon August 29, 2022
		"Unforeseen tragedy" causes DeSatan to pull out of $25,000-a-plate fundraiser where Republicans were to brainstorm ways to call other people "elitist" source: nypost.com \| share:	72
		Trump's legal "dream team": A guy he hired because saw him on TV, a former prosecutor; a former host on One America News Network, a Florida insurance lawyer; and the former general counsel for a parking-garage firm source: msn.com \| share:	72
		Jenna Ellis is apparently a time traveler source: alternet.org \| share:	70
		Artemissed source: cnbc.com \| share:	204
		St. Petersburg based insurance company will no longer offer or renew homeowners policies in its home state. Fark: another company is already pulling out, and 5 others have gone out of business in 2022 source: local10.com \| share:	132
		From the city that booed Santa, emotional support alligators source: cnn.com \| share:	14

Sun August 28, 2022
		Strange things afoot at the Circle K source: apnews.com \| share:	58
		Strange things afoot at the Circle K source: apnews.com \| share:	58
		"Florida man arrested for calling sex worker on his honeymoon" source: nypost.com \| share:	116
		Police are investigating stolen port-a-potties across southwest Florida, but have nothing to go on source: abc-7.com \| share:	38
		Florida Woman answers the question "How drunk do you have to be to think that dancing an Irish jig for the cop will help you pass your sobriety test?" source: fox13news.com \| share:	61
		Gators, falling lizards, pythons, swarming jellyfish -- oh my source: yahoo.com \| share:	21

Sat August 27, 2022
		Crist, what a timely, issues-oriented pick for running mate source: cnn.com \| share:	54
		Well, there it is. When even Alan Dershowitz is willing to go on Fox News and say "There's enough here to indict Trump" you know the party is over source: mediaite.com \| share:	158

Fri August 26, 2022
		In a stunning move by a bankruptcy court judge, 3M is told they can't use bankruptcy to protect themselves from their negligence and they might want to get ready for 230,000 lawsuits source: finance.yahoo.com \| share:	23
		Florida Man attempts to play "Buy a Child" card for the second time. Returns to jail, does not pass Go, does not collect $200 source: wesh.com \| share:	57
		Well there's your problem. The government told you you could do something and you took that to mean you could do it. What a dummy source: politico.com \| share:	75
		NY Governor Hochul to the States 5.4 million Republicans: Take a bus to Florida where you belong, and don't come back source: nypost.com \| share:	169
		They did not make a shiat ton of money source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	51
		Police block miscarrying woman from entering emergency room. Today the 'Florida' tag, tomorrow the 'Murica source: wsvn.com \| share:	87
		Florida is home to a tree called the manchineel tree that's so toxic, one bite of its apple can kill you, even just standing under it during a rainstorm can cause "excruciating pain and blisters." This was probably figured out by Florida Man source: npr.org \| share:	24

Thu August 25, 2022
		Democrats get an unprecedented reacharound wait I read that wrong source: axios.com \| share:	56
		What happens when you combine insanely expensive Zillow listings, Florida, and Irish people? "If erectile dysfunction was a room..." (some NSFW language, but in charming Irish accents) source: youtube.com \| share:	52
		A Florida man was handed multiple life sentences for torturing his 11-year-old stepson, who was famously rescued last year after a waitress secretly showed the boy a sign asking if he needed help. GOOD source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	112

Wed August 24, 2022
		30 years ago an even greater tragedy struck the east coast. Hurricane Andrew fond memories & nightmares to the right - source: google.com \| share:	48
		Florida Data Scientist targeted by DeSatan now to be the Democrat opponent for Matt Gaetz's Congressional seat source: usatoday.com \| share:	86
		Researchers figure out it's a snake-eat-snake world after finding their tracking device that was attached to an invasive python inside a larger, hungrier snake source: 9news.com.au \| share:	20
		In 2008 Rudy Giuliani recovered from a bout of depression and excessive drinking with a secret stay at Mar-a-Lago. I'd say it didn't stick source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	61
		Is "God's Waiting Room" still an affordable place to retire? source: tampabay.com \| share:	36

Tue August 23, 2022
		Jesus, Crist is Florida's best hope source: twitter.com \| share:	72
(Some Guy)		Forget sawing off Florida. Texas is getting towed out to sea, and it's about time too source: battleshiptexas.org \| share:	30
		Video surfaces of man stabbing shark in head. Of course, being Florida, he was not arrested. "I'm taking it to eat and feed my family" source: clickorlando.com \| share:	55
		"But remember that just as crazy cray-cray as Florida Man can get, Florida Man can also beast out on good as well as bad, so don't be surprised if we see a post about Florida Man curing cancer or some Scheiße like that" source: boingboing.net \| share:	1
		TL;DR: Roundup is bad, mmmmmkay? source: eurekalert.org \| share:	7
		Naked Florida man crawls through Taco Bell drive-thru window, lays on floor and refuses to leave. What season does this signal in Florida? source: wfla.com \| share:	44
		Florida researchers find a shark in Australia that can walk for up to 30 meters on dry land and survive two hours without oxygen because of course they did. Importation plans are said to be "surfacing" source: theguardian.com \| share:	10
		That's as many as thirty tens, and that's terrible source: mediaite.com \| share:	129

Mon August 22, 2022
		'Texas-Florida Incel' is my Florida-Georgia Line tribute band that's going to open at the GOP convention source: wfla.com \| share:	112
		Florida man finds perfect hiding place for his meth... almost [warning: the video in the article has strobing lights] source: wfla.com \| share:	25

Sun August 21, 2022
		Gas prices are dropping. So is the plane that Florida Man forgot to fill up source: abc7chicago.com \| share:	25
		Another law abiding Florida gun store owner arrested on 129 felony charges source: pnj.com \| share:	67
		Conservatives are trying to make 'Christian Nationalism' an official lesson plan in schools source: msnbc.com \| share:	144

Sat August 20, 2022
		Drone video captures alligator taking a few minutes to discuss our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ with a Florida firefighter, who was actually saved source: abc7.com \| share:	70
		New Times delves into how 2018 armless Florida Man stabbing Chicago tourist story winds up back in news cycle, answers include: A) inattentive Sinclair TV reporter, B) post trial photo bombing Barstool Sports Pizza Review, or C) jury acquittal. Huh? source: miaminewtimes.com \| share:	20
		Florida Man goes big source: jalopnik.com \| share:	29
		Car insurance, cocaine, offensive words, and other things you'll need in Florida are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, August 11-17: Stop Changing Stuff Edition source: fark.com \| share:	25
		Donnie Boy is in a world of hurt. Never mess with America's intelligence agencies. They come armed to the fight knowing every move you have ever made source: cnn.com \| share:	111

Fri August 19, 2022
		"Is Tom Brady missing a chunk of Tampa Bay Buccaneers camp because ... he's off filming The Masked Singer?" source: ftw.usatoday.com \| share:	21
		Restaurant sorry after man dies from eating 'one in a billion' bad oyster, says it will warn the next one billionth customer not to eat one source: metro.co.uk \| share:	96
		Florida state house candidate cancelled for advocating freedom source: floridapolitics.com \| share:	76
		Florida Man with machete crawls into man's bed, tells him "I love you", and then slices deputy all before being shot dead source: realradio921.iheart.com \| share:	41
		After a vehicle vs light pole collision, driver pulls female victim through vehicle's sunroof, tries to remove license plate then runs off on foot. If you guessed Florida, try again. This time it's Pennsylvania source: 6abc.com \| share:	30
		"She said LGBTQ students are 'like for example children with autism, Down Syndrome' and should have 'specialized' classes" source: lgbtqnation.com \| share:	144

Thu August 18, 2022
		Fidel De Santis announces the his Voter Suppression Police have claimed their first victims, charging 20 former felons with voting illegally. Oddly all of them from Democratic stronghold counties in Florida source: msn.com \| share:	89
		Three more lawsuits point out that a law banning certain topics from being discussed in school or even by at work; such as Florida's White Snowflake Protection Act, AKA the "Stop Woke" Act, violates a wee legal technicality called the 1st Amendment source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	86

Wed August 17, 2022
		"Let them fight" Florida Man Edition source: msn.com \| share:	44
		State Attorney Andrew Warren (D) has sued Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-epugnant) saying the governor unconstitutionally suspended him for his views supporting gender-affirming surgery & abortion. "There's so much more at stake here than my job" source: thehill.com \| share:	60
		James Carville reminds people that Merrick Garland's career specialty has been taking down domestic terrorists, having prosecuted the Unabomber, the OKC bomber and the Olympic Park bomber, so Trump and his supporters are in his wheelhouse source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	78
(Some Guy)		Check out this blast from the past, EV edition source: bringatrailer.com \| share:	9
		Goose was known as the loudest dog at the Adopt An Angel shelter, but that all changed when he was reunited with his dad. Please welcome Goose and his family to this week's Woofday Wetnose Wednesday source: thedodo.com \| share:	256
		In which we explain seasonal time changes to Florida. Bill introduced to prevent the seasons expected soon source: wfla.com \| share:	44
		When is a cigar just a cigar, and when is it indicative of massive campaign overspending? source: queerty.com \| share:	40

Tue August 16, 2022
(Some Guy)		Helpful tip If you are an 18 year old drug dealer: When you text someone an offer to sell them an eight ball, make sure you have the CORRECT number before sending the text message source: baystpost.com \| share:	51
		Broner pulls out source: sfgate.com \| share:	9
		Coming soon to CPAC: a "we are all false flags" banner source: businessinsider.com \| share:	58
		NASA program offers free admission for teachers. Omits mention of a similar program in 1986 source: clickorlando.com \| share:	4
		Four Florida cities rank as the most sticky, disgusting, humid, steamy, malorodous, sweaty drip-drop cities out of the most fetid, mildew-soaked swamps in the entire nation source: firstcoastnews.com \| share:	39
		Is the answer to the teachers' shortage better conditions and salary for educators? Nah, less qualified educators in the classroom for all source: queerty.com \| share:	88
		Ron DeSantis waves arms, jumps up and down, reminds everyone that he's trying to kill people, too source: wfla.com \| share:	78
		Man throws cheeseburger at girlfriend with such force that when the sandwich struck the back of her head, the woman fell over the curb onto the ground. Yup, Florida source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	62
		FBI returns Trump passports that never appeared on search inventory. Oopsies source: nbcnews.com \| share:	145
		Florida Man/Certified Creepfest engages in "sextortion" with multiple women and also freaks out the camera in his mugshot source: news4jax.com \| share:	5

Mon August 15, 2022
		One state ruins air travel for the rest of the country source: nypost.com \| share:	25
		Craiyon entry: 'Nic Cage you don't say' Buttery males source: yahoo.com \| share:	35
		"I'm gonna go on a killing spree...Pelosi first." But the texts were to his wife, so according to his lawyers everything is fine and TFG and Margoyle are now automatically co-emperors of the world for life source: clickorlando.com \| share:	72
		Cool: FL swing voters saying the raid on MAL was justified. Even Cooler: FL swing voters saying that have had enough of Der FloridaFührer source: axios.com \| share:	90
		Surely the FBI raid on Mar-a-Lago will hurt Donald Trump in the polls with republicans, you would think. Looks at poll Oh, you gotta be fargin' kidding me source: independent.co.uk \| share:	117
		It's a (booby) trap source: local10.com \| share:	46
		"Extreme heat belt" could emerge in U.S by 2053 where some parts experience heat indices above 125°F for at least one day a year. That's hot source: axios.com \| share:	31

Sun August 14, 2022
		Ref: FWEEEET "Holding, number seven on the offense, penalty five yards, replay the down." Coach: "Five yards? FIVE YARDS?? How about Nine Millimeters??" source: wfaa.com \| share:	42

Sat August 13, 2022
		Restaurants, TV hucksters, social media personalities, and of course Florida Man are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, August 4-10: Fraud Alert Edition source: fark.com \| share:	9
		If you plan on reading only one story today about raccoons in cages on a house's roof in a Florida neighborhood, you may as well settle for this one source: wfla.com \| share:	41
		It's Florida Follies time ... kidnap someone; beat him; rob him; and make him dance in a dress while you video the performance source: winknews.com \| share:	27
		Florida woman called the police non-emergency line over 11,000 times in one year in exactly the way you would expect from Florida woman source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	70
		This hour's excuse: the General Service Administration packed up all the boxes and sent them to Florida during the presidential transition. That is according to a very close source to TFG by the name of David Dennison source: twitter.com \| share:	195
		I wonder why this is happening to the FBI source: cnn.com \| share:	84

Fri August 12, 2022
		Guy openly celebrates winning $53,000 at a Florida casino. Three guys noticed and followed him back to his hotel source: tampabay.com \| share:	64
		The United States has been "furiously" writing a new nuclear deterrence theory to address threats from both Russia and China. Might want to add a golf course in Florida to the list source: defenseone.com \| share:	44
		Liz Cheney calls out fellow Republicans for "attacking the integrity of the FBI" with their criticism in the hours and days after its agents searched the Florida home of now Russian stooge Donald Trump source: news.yahoo.com \| share:	70
		Guess where you won't get to use Medicare for gender-affirming care source: axios.com \| share:	54
		Florida grocery store has grand opening and hours later becomes a wading pool the first time it rains source: news4jax.com \| share:	20
		Former Florida House Speaker Allan Bense ran a company that bilked "millions of dollars" from local governments in 2018 source: tallahassee.com \| share:	31
		FBI recovered 11 sets of classified documents, will be returned to their rightful mommies and daddies soon source: cnn.com \| share:	275

Thu August 11, 2022
		A high school in ________ has decided to ban students from bringing cell phones to school. Difficulty: It's not Florida or Texas source: msn.com \| share:	110
		Move over Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, the Republican mayor of Miami is eyeing the White House source: axios.com \| share:	42
		Merrick Garland to make a statement at 2:30 PM ET - running late apparently. I'm sure it's probably nothing source: cnbc.com \| share:	1153
		School staff remove a teacher's "age-inappropriate" posters from the classroom. Florida: Posters of MLK, Colin Powell, Harriett Tubman, and George Washington Carver. Bonus: Removed a picture of Obama from his desk as well source: pnj.com \| share:	120
		5 questions to ponder before it's Saul Gone source: avclub.com \| share:	61
		OnlyFans, concerned about losing performers to other platforms, bribed Meta to silently put said performers on a terrorism watch list. JFC (NSFW) source: jezebel.com \| share:	111
		Florida Terminator: "I need your clothes, your wallet, and your phone" source: clickorlando.com \| share:	18

Wed August 10, 2022
(Some Guy)		The iluminati has updated their plot from gay frogs to elderly lizards. No word on when we get erectile dysfunction ducks or male-pattern baldness walruses source: buzz.ie \| share:	4
		The simple and obvious explanation is that the former president is not a decent, honest, law-abiding person. These traits, when manifested in high-profile misbehavior, tend to attract the attention of law enforcement source: queerty.com \| share:	31
		Polish up your sticks, its Whacking Day in Florida...for pythons source: apnews.com \| share:	35
		Donald Trump is already setting the stage to claim that any evidence found on his property was 'planted' by the FBI source: dailyboulder.com \| share:	109
		Why don't you tell my man Garland here where you got the shiat hid. We happy? Garland? We happy? "Oh yeah. We happy" source: cbsnews.com \| share:	90
		Meet Ethan! He's the winner of this year's American Humane Shelter Hero Dog award that recognizes dogs who have done "extraordinary" things. Please welcome him and his owner to Woofday Wetnose Wednesday (w/milestone videos) source: wlky.com \| share:	238
		In a surprise to no one, Russian state media is really mad about the FBI executing a search warrant on Trump. It's almost like they tell American right wingers what to think. I mean exactly like. poundsignObvioustag source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	36

Tue August 09, 2022
		Record-breaking heat in the Northeast today may have as its cause several kilotons of hot air that came north after escaping from the mouths of Florida's GOP leaders who have their shorts in a twist about the FBI search at Mar-a-Lago source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	50
		We go down to the indie disco every Tuesday night dance to our favourite indie hits until the morning light. We've got a table in the corner that is always ours under the poster of Morrissey with a bunch of flowers. It's the 7 p.m. ET MSNBC thread source: msnbc.com \| share:	297
		I thought it was supposed to be anonymous source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	52
		You know how I can tell George Conway reads FARK to get some of his material? source: cnn.com \| share:	79
		Florida man gets in DUI crash at 7 a.m., then bails out of jail and tries to break into three vehicles on the jail grounds, all of which belong to the local sheriff's office source: tampabay.com \| share:	27
		After today's Trump turmoil, what would happen if DeathSantis loses re-election? source: floridapolitics.com \| share:	59
		2022-23 flu vaccine formulations recommended to include Victoria, Wisconsin, Darwin, Austria, and Phuket viruses. A Farker could have a real good time in that inoculation tent if only there was a Florida strain source: fda.gov \| share:	5
		In case you haven't heard, meth is legal now. Florida cops apparently haven't heard source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	28

Mon August 08, 2022
		Hopefully NASA's Artemis I mission won't crash, but its ticketing website already did source: space.com \| share:	3
		Gentlemen, prepare to unzip your pants source: nbcnews.com \| share:	2370
		The AFCA Coaches Poll got released. Bama is number one, the usual suspects in there, and oh wait what's that? source: espn.com \| share:	17
		Marco Rubio's seat in Florida is up for grabs - he's tied with Val Demings in the latest polling source: twitter.com \| share:	83
		Not content to let leopards have all the face eating fun, Florida man decides to go for a swim in Lake Thonotosassa source: cnn.com \| share:	27

Sun August 07, 2022
		Florida prosecutor "fired" by DeSantis will fight to get his job back. Something about nullifying the will of the voters who elected him source: apnews.com \| share:	44
		Hunters remove more than 17,000 pythons from Florida, set their sites on PHP next source: cnn.com \| share:	58
		Well that about wraps it up for the sea turtles. Thanks to climate change heat waves, 99% of sea turtle hatchlings are female, and Florida scientists haven't seen a male hatchling in four years. Sad tag doesn't begin to cover it source: cnn.com \| share:	119
		TFG still top choice among traitors to their country, the Christian Taliban, and other assorted deplorables source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	107
		CSB Sunday Morning: Summer cookouts source: fark.com \| share:	63
		I suspect it has something to do with climate change and just being Florida source: entrepreneur.com \| share:	43

Sat August 06, 2022
		Florida woman with 26 lbs of cocaine in her car is pulled over for window tint on I-75. Nice cops put her in the back of a cop car and let her make a call while they wait for the drug dog. Cops then record the call, making their jobs much easier source: youtube.com \| share:	92
		Rescue flight helps 155 cats from overcrowded shelters get a second chance at finding homes. Welcome to Caturday source: yahoo.com \| share:	1260

Fri August 05, 2022
		Delta airlines flight narrowly misses drone - "8 feet from windshield" - on approach to Orlando International Airport. Florida man wanted for questioning. ATC audio attached source: wdbo.com \| share:	37
		Ten days before early voting in Florida starts, Twitter's worst door-greeter and nutjob Laura Loomer publicly converts from Judaism to Christianity. Jews around the world breathe a sigh of relief, no longer holding the bag for that putz source: twitter.com \| share:	144

Thu August 04, 2022
		Spring break is gonna be awesome source: theguardian.com \| share:	2
		Somewhere in between "As god is my witness" and "Shiat's on fire, yo" lies this story source: clickorlando.com \| share:	36
		Here's where the rent is too damn high source: cnbc.com \| share:	61
		DeathSantis teases "major announcement" today that will totally own the libs. Story to the left, speculation over what the Grand Poobah of Florida Men is planning to the right source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	92

Wed August 03, 2022
		Florida Woman arrested for driving golf cart on freeway while pulling from bottle of Jack Daniels source: missoulian.com \| share:	18
		Photoshop this Florida scene from yesteryear source: twitter.com \| share:	18
		Skyrim cries for the Dovahkiin as the land is menaced by the ancient, death-breathing Ohios. Needs another mod where the rivers going by Markarth and Windhelm are on fire; the Silver-Bloods and Ulfric Stormcloak look like polluting bastards source: pcgamer.com \| share:	20
(Some Guy)		Once again, California is at the top of the list. Well, one of the lists source: worldpopulationreview.com \| share:	10
		Florida's new 'Don't Tread On Me' license plate stirs controversy. Let's help them design a new one source: wfla.com \| share:	93

Tue August 02, 2022
		Pain don't hurt, but this remake just might source: nerdist.com \| share:	77
		"187 years later we are once again seeing a healthy population of land iguanas with adults, juveniles and newborns." BONUS: not Florida source: phys.org \| share:	5
		Just another day ending in 'y' in Florida source: wfla.com \| share:	31
		Florida's finest go to wrong address and attempt to evict a homeowner from her own house source: wfla.com \| share:	73
		Florida man in the storm drain wants Mountain Dew and privacy source: fox13news.com \| share:	10

Mon August 01, 2022
		Florida "bishop" arrested for selling a shortcut to the afterlife to his congregants source: msn.com \| share:	32

Sun July 31, 2022
		Florida Doctor trifecta in play source: weartv.com \| share:	32
		Florida dentist arrested for the fourth time in two months, practicing a little more than just dentistry with women source: weartv.com \| share:	73

Sat July 30, 2022
(Suck it, Discount Butthead)		The Great Gaetz Bodyshaming Backfire has netted over $1.8 million now source: secure.actblue.com \| share:	55
		Jared Kusher: Steve Bannon was a big meany-head and he bullied me all the times. Like this one time, this one time, he said to me "I will break you in half". He said that to me, he really truly did and it hurt my feelings...real BAD source: news.yahoo.com \| share: