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headlines found matching 'Florida'
Thu July 19, 2018
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Ugly ass baby flamingos melting hearts, providing positive Florida tag stories
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 18, 2018
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Janet Reno's kayak seized in judgment by billionaire-backed mining company. It's not refrigerator art, it's Florida
source: weatherplus.blog.palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
What do you get when you combine Florida, Home Depot, and a pet monkey named Spanky?
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 17, 2018
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
What is more Florida than a couple posing for pictures with deputies after they're arrested for speeding and a chase? And don't forget the heroin and cocaine possession too. Say cheese
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Man dies of heart attack in Disney World wave pool, will be posthumously renamed Bob
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Parents are now throwing their daughters period parties. Expect all kinds of strings to be pulled so guests can have a bloody good time
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Burned chicken, coconut rum and a weaponized anchor. Just another Tuesday in Florida
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Abandoned couch outside Florida Walmart becomes sightseeing attraction
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Indiana man teaches gun cleaning to his daughter, should have taught responsible parenting to himself
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 16, 2018
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida's economy hits $1T GDP milestone. To be fair, news stories about Florida Man huffing paint probably makes up about half of that
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
17 yr old gets attacked by snake while mowing lawn. Gives sage advice: "watch out for snakes"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Axios)
 
 
 
Trump enraged by Putin's video showing missiles striking Florida
source: axios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Spy)
 
 
 
"Like, ohmygod, I joined Food Fighters onstage to sing one of them Grease songs"
source: digitalspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 15, 2018
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Rare double shark attack. DOUBLE SHARK ATTACK DOUBLE SHARK ATTACK WOOOO OH MY GOD YEAH OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT IT'S STARTING TO LOOK LIKE A TRIPLE SHARK ATTACK OH GOD
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 13, 2018
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
In the fight between Florida Man and Code Enforcement Guy, sometimes Freedom of Speech wins
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
Florida Man shouts what you might expect while doing what you might expect before the cops respond how you might expect
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Actual defense: You can't give me a DUI since I only drank Jim Beam when the car wasn't moving (with mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Police say Florida man planned his suicide for years, making it look like murder by using a weather balloon to carry away the gun
source: mypalmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
'Florida Man with a 1,000 gallon bladder' is strangely not this summer's blockbuster horror flick
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man drives car while sitting on a bucket and steering with pliers. Norfolk, the Florida of Great Britain
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Gov. Rick Scott signs executive order to keep beaches open to public after signing bill last March giving hotels, condos, private homes control over beaches to high-tide line. He must be running for US Senate or something
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Florida GOP Senator celebrated voting for the tax bill by buying a multi-million dollar yacht. No word if he named it the Serf Destroyer
source: floridapolitics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 12, 2018
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Despicable Me
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 11, 2018
(Pro Football Talk)
 
 
 
LeSean McCoy, accused of domestic violence, has a former teammate standing up for him. He probably wishes it wasn't THIS former teammate
source: profootballtalk.nbcsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Florida man with no arms arrested for stabbing a tourist. Mother of God, they're evolving
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Infamous Florida ambulance chaser, John Morgan, sues the NCAA on behalf of former University of Louisville basketball players, referring to it as a "corrupt organization"
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Explanation for Florida found
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
Woofday
 
This is not a repeat, thanks to the good folks at JetBlue. It's your Woofday Wetnose Wednesday thread
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Honeymooning couple caught banging on a zipline
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 10, 2018
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Israeli probe to land on the Moon in February, take off, and land again. After that: Punching goyim idiots who say there are no stars in Jewish Moon photos because you can't let Buzz Aldrin have all the fun
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Some videos absolutely require being sped up and overlaid with the Benny Hill theme, and this one of Florida Man's attempted murder-by-tractor is on that list
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
"I wasn't drinking while driving, officer, just drinking while at stop lights and stop signs"
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Algal bloom overtakes one state's largest freshwater lake, and people are worried for their health, including one local man named Jordy Verrill
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 09, 2018
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
You know Florida man is a Florida Man when he steals beer from the store but still goes for the Natty Light
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
'Good Samaritan' alerts Coast Guard to floating bale of cocaine off Florida beach
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun July 08, 2018
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
The rent is too damn high. The weather is too damn hot. And gentrification is getting too damn worse
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Some airlines kill your dog, other airlines save their life with an oxygen mask
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat July 07, 2018
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Art Insititute closes. Students apparently not able to draw Tippy
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Good way to prepare for an approaching hurricane: watch the weather satellite, make sure that everyone's evacuated. Bad way to prepare for an approaching hurricane: bust out the Coronas and talk a little football
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri July 06, 2018
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
He was chasing her around with a golf club. Then things get Florida
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
With tension mounting for the England Vs Sweden footie match this weekend, who better to ask for predictions on the possible outcome than a bunch of smokers in Kent's equivalent of Florida?
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 05, 2018
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In the true spirit of academic excellence, Yahoo takes time out of their busy day to rank the Power 5 conference schools by.....athletic success
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
FL man injured after holding lit mortar in hand. Yes, alcohol was involved. (w/video of incident)
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Man washes up on Florida beach. I guess he missed his shower that morning
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Murica: Man at Busch Gardens pays $104.99 just to get hit by a bullet fired to celebrate July 4
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 03, 2018
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
If your woman was so drunk/high that she fell out of your SUV this morning, Tampa PD would like to speak with you (w/video)
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Firework sales are booming. In related story, Fark braces for rash of 'Fail,' 'Dumbass,' and 'Florida' submissions
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon July 02, 2018
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
If you see a shirtless, incoherent and delirious Florida Man running amok, you should pay attention, according to police
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Fireworks are illegal in Florida, unless you're using them to scare birds away from crops. So they found the guy whose job that is
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
What do ice cream, coffee, and mice have in common? Aside from 'They taste terrible when blended with vodak'
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
It's finally happening: the authorities are coming to take your guns. Well, at least if you're this screaming Florida woman arrested for chasing people around with a samurai sword
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Alligator, to girl in tree: "Don't worry, I'll be here when you decide to come down." CHOMP CHOMP
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 29, 2018
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
You gotta admit, hiding a plastic handcuff key in a chicken sandwich to bust your hubby outta jail isn't the worst idea (with mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Florida Man released from jail, immediately put back
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"So what did you do this summer?" "I went to the beach." "I went camping." "I paddleboarded from Cuba to the Florida Keys"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
New state laws going into effect Sunday include beaches are no longer public property, kids bullied in public schools can get vouchers to get bullied in private schools, state cattle breed designated as Florida Cracker
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 28, 2018
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
You know it's Florida when the fight begins with a cat, escalates to a pillow and finishes with a couch cushion
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
How to watch the first Florida Republican gubernatorial debate tonight. And no, 'taking a shot of Jack whenever someone lies' is not a good idea
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
It's Sea Lice season along Florida's beaches. With helpful 'after' pic
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Florida Man to oversee cryptocurrency. MethCoin futures up 300%
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 27, 2018
(CBS News)
 
 
 
It was a controlled burn. Until it wasn't
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Just because this worked in Blazing Saddles doesn't mean it will work in the modern era
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Only about a third say Trump deserves to be re-elected, according to new polls in Arizona, Florida and Ohio
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Florida Man attempts upscale crime, steals 2 diamonds worth $170k. But he just isn't cut out for supervillainry, will have to go back to the minor leagues
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 26, 2018
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: if you stole a rare alligator from a pair of TV stars and set a reptile sanctuary on fire, police warn that you may be close to overdosing on Florida
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man talks on the phone while riding on the hood of a car going 70 MPH (w/not safe for work language)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 25, 2018
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Teens who mocked drowning man get off scot-free under the legal concept of "It's Florida"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Mancunians who bought £100 Billy Joel tickets enraged at Old Trafford stage setup that prevented them from seeing most of the performance. They didn't start the ire
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 24, 2018
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Florida white guy with guns kills his whole family. Now, how can Trump blame MS-13?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida now experiencing serious reptile dysfunction
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Can someone please suggest some safe places for Republican politicians to go?
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 22, 2018
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida man dressed as Elvis offers to bring tween sex toys as gifts. Cue 'Jailhouse Rock.' 🎵
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
MCO (Mega Chaos Orlando), one of the top 10 worst US international airports, is plotting to further fark your privacy, frustrate, and delay your efforts to get out of
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
New blood test shows that the good people of Florida may already be infected with a virus that causes encephalitis, voting irregularities, Fark headlines
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vulture)
 
 
 
Police fire rubber bullets and tear gas to disperse fans at slain rapper XXXtentacion's memorial. Which fans said was like one of his concerts all over again
source: vulture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 21, 2018
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida man breaks into his former home, threatens new occupants, steals pulled pork sandwich and energy drink from fridge, then runs off into the woods. That'll show them
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Mildly interesting: Woman brings monkey shopping with her. News: Monkey bit someone in parking lot. Florida: Woman was told not to bring the monkey back into the store earlier after it attacked someone else
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WINK Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Kid touches a poorly installed electrical outlet. In other news, kids in Florida are allowed to play behind the stove
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 20, 2018
(AL.com)
 
 
 
The U.S. Navy has finally had it with Florida
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Fuuuuuuuuu... uuuuuuuuuuuuuuu... uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.... uuuuuuuuu... uuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuu uuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuck you, Rush
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 19, 2018
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Drake is a wizard
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: If you're the person who dumped an alligator in a Florida WaWa store, the police would like to play a sad trombone for you
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
When fascism came to America, it was humping the flag
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 18, 2018
(WQAD Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Jellyfish doing their part to keep Floridians contained. Your move sharks
source: wqad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
In other news, Jameis Winston is still under investigation by the NFL
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Politico takes a look at what party officials see as the the future of the GOP: A lily-white retirement city just outside of Disney World
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 17, 2018
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Despite two arrests in a nine-month span, New York Jets wide receiver Robby Anderson doesn't expect an NFL suspension. "I didn't do nothing wrong and the truth came out"
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 16, 2018
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Aw, c'mon, what's in the box?
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Florida Man Florida man. Florida man likes drinkin', man He gets pulled over, drinks a beer. Florida man
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 15, 2018
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Move it over dad 'cause I'm a double-dipper, upside down on the zip zip zipper
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 14, 2018
(Fox 13 Memphis)
 
 
 
Florida man strikes again -- threatens Disney World shooting if he got enough Facebook 'likes'
source: fox13memphis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
So far 10 flights at Clearwater International Airport have been cancelled because the planes have not been built yet
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 13, 2018
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Why did the chicken marry the crocodile? Because Crocodooladoo is a great family name
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bill Murray to open up a food truck court in South Carolina. So he's got that going for him
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 12, 2018
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
All this Florida police chief wanted was a perfect burglary crime clearance rate score
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Toucan escapes from zoo. Apparently Fruit Loops aren't the best way to lure one back
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
I guess he didn't want to pay the toll
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Man in underwear and cowboy boots fights police at Walmart, surprisingly not in Florida. Or Times Square
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Only in Florida is where an alligator can delay a flight
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Florida man wanted to get rid of his tenants, ended up on Fark instead
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 11, 2018
(WTXL Tallahassee)
 
 
 
Professional paintball team allows community to join. Fark: There are professional paintball teams?
source: wtxl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Next on Southern Sportsman we have two Florida men playing a spirited game of Rake vs Hammer. In an unusual twist today, the guy with the rake decided to fight naked. Got to tell you, though, Hammer guy is on his game. Don't miss it
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Florida sheriff wants to form school police department, get children started early on their Florida tag appearances
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 10, 2018
(Fansided)
 
 
 
Madison's continued inability to make competent decisions endangers lives again as she struggles to become The Governess. Morgan finally gets a little more to do than play Yoda in this, the midseason finale. Fear the Walking Dead, 9pm ET on AMC
source: fansided.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Snark)
 
Weeners
 
Nothing good comes from a headline containing the words "Involved In Painful Groin-on-Groin Collision"
source: dailysnark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Weekly)
 
 
 
Florida Democrat Sen. Bill Nelson attempts to throw his campaign down a sinkhole, says 'Darn right I want a gun registry' like a sensible person in crazy Florida
source: orlandoweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 08, 2018
(Fox 13 Memphis)
 
 
 
Monkey in diaper found clinging to, yes, a Florida man in a stolen car
source: fox13memphis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Arm found inside alligator caught in Florida lake. Amos Moses wanted for questioning
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida didn't do national background checks on applicants for concealed weapons permits for a year because an employee couldn't figure out how to log into the system
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
If we have a horrible hurricane season this year it is not the result of Global Warming but The Illuminati using technology to cause the storms to stop Trump supporters from voting
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 07, 2018
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Teacher accused of taking bribes from students for better grades. Florida tag gets to sit this one out because sex wasn't involved
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: The flies swarming Central Florida are perfectly normal, and not in response to a local manifestation of Beelzebub. He's more of a Key West kind of dude
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Video shows boy playing Slip-and-Slide with plastic green alligator. PLOT TWIST: then the real thing shows up
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
In a strong attempt to dethrone Florida Man, Texas man decapitates rattlesnake, then is nearly fatally bitten by the severed head. With article that utterly fails to explain how the bite could occur, but I'm imagining the Killer Rabbit in Holy Grail
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 05, 2018
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
"Remember my face you punk ass biatch." OK
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
FL DOT thinks that drunk drivers who are driving the wrong way on interstates will be able to read signs telling them they're going the wrong way
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida man hit child for eating 'all the Cheez-Its'. It looks like this 'man still needs more time to mature
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon June 04, 2018
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Used to be, Florida was tough. Nowadays, everyone gets their panties in a bunch over a gator rearranging their porch furniture
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun June 03, 2018
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Florida man decides that he doesn't want to walk to impound lot, nor wait for it to open in the morning
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 02, 2018
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
It's a Florida mystery. Someone keeps mailing these Florida people $8000 in cash and they want to put a stop to it
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
GOP moderates are revolting and hey, haven't we done this joke to death already?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 01, 2018
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Oregon employers say state has run out of workers who can pass a drug test. Florida too high to comment
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
It's like snake whacking day, except with shotguns
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida woman gets seven years and deportation for forced labor of illegal immigrant - as in, forcing her to have sex with various men to try to get pregnant
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Rick Scott's 'outsider' image clashes with reality, as apparently even growing up in a cave surrounded by bats doesn't make you an outsider in Florida
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 31, 2018
(The Hill)
 
 
 
$4 to cover 1% of the damages the cop were responsible for after shooting a black man through his own garage door, then finding the gun they said he aimed at them was in his back pocket
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
There are some very good reasons to move out of your apartment and into a new one. 'Roaches laying eggs in your ears' is high on that list
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Dog named Atari to get behavior training after being run over by police, burying millions of copies of E.T. in the desert
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida law talking man, running for circuit judge, points out that "Muslims are deranged", "never trust a Muslim." and "Jesus condemned sodomy". Being Florida, he has decent odds of winning
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
"For at least 40 years I have been doing battle with fast food clerks and restaurant waitresses over the difference between hamburgers and cheeseburgers because I do not like cheese on my hamburger"
source: chicago.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 30, 2018
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Florida Man arrested after getting evicted from hotel after noise complaint, bringing guns, ammo unto property, charged with stalking, hunting tourists out of season
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Why does every Florida Publix have a giant scale? We can assume the guess-your-weight carny dissuaded shoppers
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Remains of US pilot shot down over Vietnam finally returning home. Jeez, how high was that guy flying?
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
After exiting assault weapons sales, Dick's Sporting Goods earnings report shows they made a terrible mistake... of not doing it sooner
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
We fed the bears, punched donkeys and chickens danced for out amusement. Welcome to the sixties
source: morepotatoes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
GOP gubernatorial candidate Ron DeSantis supports reinstatement of lynching, mob rule. "Bring back the hanging tree"
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
So we now know the cost of wishing death upon a 17-year-old kid who survived a mass school shooting and is trying to make the world a better place: 5 days' pay
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Trump holds up his untouched by actual hard work hands and then he implies he has a large penis. Horse laugh heard echoing from First Lady's bedroom
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 29, 2018
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Florida brewery unveils six-pack rings that feed sea turtles rather than kill them. Still not safe from drunken college students, though
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 26, 2018
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Two McDonald's customers have filed a $5 million lawsuit alleging they are charged the same price regardless if their burger has cheese or not
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you thought the Parkland kids would just fade away, guess again. They just got Publix to halt their political contributions
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 25, 2018
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Florida Man tries to shoot down drone hovering near his home. Fires seven 9mm rounds. None of which hit the aerial intruder
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 24, 2018
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Let's see how things are going for George Zimmerman
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 23, 2018
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Crime in Florida is at 47-year-low, a drop attributed to public safety investments, police work, Governor Rick Scott's ability to echolocate criminals in the dark of night
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
If you're going to shoplift three days in a row, wearing your sheriff's deputy uniform won't help disguise you
source: wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 22, 2018
(CBC)
 
 
 
Shooting fireworks at your buddies is all fun and games until someone goes to the hospital with serious injuries. And there is footage of it. And someone posted it to twitter. Surprisingly, this did not happen in Florida. Or involve Drew's childhood
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Florida Man, aka Florida Jackass, blocks traffic to do donuts on bridge
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Putin's new "unlimited range" nuclear missile set a distance record after four tests, traveling 22 miles
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Florida man attempts harakiri with a wooden sailfish statue after learning he'd been busted in his 2nd online sex sting in two years
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
For some reason, a Republican candidate for Congress really doesn't think that Puerto Ricans who arrived in Florida in the aftermath of Hurricane Maria should vote in the state
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 21, 2018
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man climbs atop playground equipment at park and shouts at kids about where babies come from -- causing parents to rush in and take them away
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun May 20, 2018
(CNN)
 
 
 
Texas governor's website is still raffling off a rifle, though they canceled the door prize
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Bae beats bae, bids baseball bye-bye
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 19, 2018
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Rich neighborhood will soon be home to a glass house. Hopefully no one inside throws stones
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Physics World)
 
 
 
Recent calculations of General Relativity show that Mercury's orbit should shift an additional degree every 2 billion years than previous less-detailed calculations. A soon to be launched probe to find out if Einstein is still the top gun of physics
source: physicsworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 18, 2018
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Please note: if you're going to call in bomb threats to mosques, the FBI is in possession of a cunning technology known as "caller ID"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Stop. The. HTML presses. Alcoholic beer slushies are now being served. To go. In Pennsylvania. So gear up for more headlines from the Florida of the North. It's going to be a long, hot summer
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 17, 2018
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Nebraska coach Scott Frost responds to Nick Saban's comments about Central Florida's title being legit by saying 1 or 2 of Alabama's aren't legit, either
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida's Channel 9 buys and forgives $1M worth of medical debt, helping 1,000 families in need. They still get the Florida tag, but the Hero tag is raising a glass in salute
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
SeaWorld to pour free beer and jeez, come back, guys, I didn't even finish the headline yet
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
5 things to know before hurricane season. Oddly, 'get the hell out of Florida' not on the list
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
Lucas Glover's Wife Blamed the Attack on Her Mother-in-Law In 911 Call
source: si.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Pants-around-ankles Florida Man quickly nabbed by police after running over power pole, barber pole, fence poles. Look, he likes poles, that's all I'm saying
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Apparently, he was 3 months away from his $100,000/year retirement. The Broward deputy has seen enough movies to know what would have happened if he had intervened
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 16, 2018
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Florida Man gives meth to 14-year-old girl for good cause, to "keep her off the streets." Oh, and to have sex with her, but that's not the point
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida 7-Eleven blasting opera music to ward off panhandlers. To be fair, it's reasonable to conclude that the handouts are over once the fat lady sings
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Florida Man e-killed by exploding e-cigarette
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 14, 2018
(Politico)
 
 
 
Florida gubernatorial primary revolves around 'skanks' and racism
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 11, 2018
(MSN)
 
 
 
Florida: We had a sinkhole outbreak. New Zealand: Hold my beer
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Florida man hid legless fugitive girlfriend in plastic tote and even remembered to make some airholes
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spaceflight Now)
 
 
 
Elon Musk has reached his final form. It's the debut launch of the Falcon 9 Block 5 with a comms satellite for Bangladesh. Liftoff from Canaveral, first-stage landing on a drone ship. Launch window opens at 4:14 pm EDT (UPDATE: Launch rescheduled for Friday)
source: spaceflightnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Florida Man wrangles 12-foot hammerhead shark onto beach and...OMG LOOK AT THOSE ABS
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 10, 2018
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
And here's a story about GOP megadonor, Beau Bridges doppelganger, and Cohen fall guy, Elliot Broidy, operating an illegal private security company in Florida, because why the hell not at this point?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Massive sinkhole outbreak leaves Florida neighborhood looking like the moon
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP News)
 
 
 
Teenage boy seen in retention pond flailing and screaming about having been bitten before going under water. Police search the pond and find the body....of an adult woman. Wait, what?
source: apnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 09, 2018
(KGUN 9 Tucson)
 
 
 
Florida Woman meets Arizona Man, goes on one date, proceeds to send over 65k text messages. Then the real stalking began
source: kgun9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 08, 2018
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
The Florida teacher's co-workers began worrying about his behavior as early as 2009, when he was reportedly found with a student with the lights dimmed and his shoes off
source: mypalmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Being thirsty for beer is not a medical emergency worthy of a call to 911
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Florida man was just trying to open a beer with a knife. What could possibly go wrong?
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon May 07, 2018
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Hello? Geico? Yeah I just hit another vehicle with my pick-up truck. The other vehicle? Well, it's a Boeing 737 with the words "Southwest Airlines" painted on it
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
University of Florida says it is ending its "Get Off The Stage Now, Minstrel" policy
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 05, 2018
(WPTV)
 
 
 
It's not normal to find a credit card you think is a gift from God, use it to buy a plane ticket to Fark's favorite state, and then drive to Mar-a-Lago with the intention of smoking a joint with President Trump ... but on meth it is
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Rooster saved from Santeria priest quickly becomes Florida Bird
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
The new guide to success in the NFL Draft. Step 1: Threaten Dallas Cowboys on Twitter with 'IMMA BLOW THaT B--CH UP' if they don't draft you in the first round. Step 2: SWAT raids your home. Step 3: Profit?
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 04, 2018
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
After 9 days, Florida woman gets giant NOPE out of ear
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 03, 2018
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida man sets Guinness record for tallest hat. Does it really matter that he doesn't exist?
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 02, 2018
(CBS 12 West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
In rare moment of sagacity, Florida Man uses Jet Ski to put out boat fire
source: cbs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Florida paper runs gun show ad below stories of mass shootings. In their defense, those ARE related
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAV Savanna)
 
 
 
"Invasive fist-sized treefrogs in New Orleans." Well, so much for the hamster bubble
source: wsav.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Watch a harmless Florida waterspout open up a can of whuppass on this harbor
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 01, 2018
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Florida congressman gets a proper Florida welcome from a group of sixth-graders. One finger salute involved of course
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
I don't know about you, but I'm wanting one of those Ford Transformobiles. They are pretty cool. You can destroy small villages and commute to work all in one day
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 30, 2018
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
I can understand being upset about your team's NFL draft picks but it might not be a good idea to tweet a picture depicting a drug lord killing narcotics officer and then threatening to do the same to the GM
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
It's not every day that you see a bird carrying a shark which is carrying a fish
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"NRA Convention Bans Guns To Protect Mike Pence. Parkland Survivors' Jaws Drop." Because until now the Secret Service has always been so relaxed and casual about guns near the people they're watching
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Asinine: HOA rep sends letter demanding woman take down her rainbow flag. Surprise: Person who sent letter isn't part of HOA. Spiffy: Neighborhood now filled with rainbow flags
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 29, 2018
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Maryland starts enforcing road tolls. Some people have a problem with this
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Four words: cucumber, slingshot, Chinese, girl
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pro Sports Daily)
 
 
 
If Matt Millen doesn't get a heart transplant he's gonna be drafting wide receivers in the first round every year in heaven
source: prosportsdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 27, 2018
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Man accused of karate kicking swans, dishonoring his shaolin temple
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 26, 2018
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
I-95 construction sign: My daddy works here. Florida Woman: Let's see if this thing can do 110 (with pierced-lip mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
You can now drop the Google Streetview guy into the water
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Not only is there a war on cops, but also on cop cars. Minivans to the rescue
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Tesla Model X driver makes it to the gym in under 26 minutes
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 25, 2018
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Naked. Moaning. Florida man. Sex toy. Bodily secretions. That's a BINGO
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Today's lesson in the new new new common core math: Babies-R-Us + voodoo + evils spirits + box cutter = Florida
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 24, 2018
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Janet Jackson decides to extend her world tour by eleven days in the US, which isn't really the world
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
After the Parkland shooting, the NRA has been on the ropes, right? Just kidding, they set a new record for fundraising in a single month
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 23, 2018
(MSN)
 
 
 
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers announced today that their day three draft picks will be delivered by a parrot
source: msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
What do you do if your Women's Tennis Team is 10-16 after the season but you need to be .500 to make the NCAA Tournament? If you're the University of Arkansas you schedule 6 tournaments in one day against Tennessee State and go 6-0
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Shut it down, we've achieved Peak Florida
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Supreme Court 2010: Sentencing a juvenile to life in prison without parole violates the 8th amendment. Supreme Court 2017: Sentencing a juvenile to 240 years in prison with his first parole eligibility when he's 112 years old? Yeah, that's totally fine
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
Florida leads the US in states where you're least likely to see a UFO, possibly because aliens can just blend in with all the other general weirdness down there
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Oh, Florida, don't ever change: "A Miami pimp's reaction to a Santa's Enchanted Forest employee not paying for sex with a 16-year-old led cops to him and a prison sentence for sex trafficking"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 20, 2018
(WTKR)
 
 
 
71-year-old Florida county commissioner faces multiple charges after authorities say he paid a married couple living with him to be able to have sex with the wife, and the story only gets more Florida from there
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Florida students walk out to protest school shootings. Since this is Florida, you can probably guess what happens next
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 19, 2018
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The odds Trump will be able to end the Mueller probe are now 9/11
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
If you are the one who's been spray-painting tortoises, the Florida Wildlife Commission would like a word
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
911: What's the nature of your emergency. Caller: Help, there's a possum in my bedroom
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 18, 2018
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Florida man fined $120 million for calling 97 million of his best friends, usually right as they were setting down to eat dinner
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C-SPAN)
 
 
 
Will Trump praise Unit 731? Will he demand funding for a Gojira Wall? Just how bad will he fark this up? This is YOUR joint press conference with Prime Minister of Japan Shinzo Abe. (LGT C-SPAN @ roughly 1730 EDT)
source: c-span.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Trump realizes who pays his bills, promptly backs out of TPP agreement again
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Delta flight to Florida blows tire. Hey, we all have our kinks
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Memphis)
 
 
 
Actual rejected Florida vanity license plates
source: fox13memphis.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bradenton Herald)
 
 
 
Florida Man tries to sell broccoli claiming it's weed, someone ends up getting killed. Jolly Green Giant wanted for questioning
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 17, 2018
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
In Utero is a pretty good Nirvana album. It's also where a woman in Florida keeps her tire gauge that she uses to smoke crack
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Florida kids continue to get uppity, sue Republican governor for being 'immoral'. Which is like suing Florida Man for being irresponsible
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Weekly)
 
 
 
Python has a sex party, Unix has a D&D gathering
source: orlandoweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 16, 2018
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
African warthog captured in Florida. Panicking meerkat trying to raise bail money
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Florida man asks one of the eternal questions of life: "What would happen if I stole some beer?"
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Pygmy whale dies after stranding itself on Florida beach. Jumbo shrimp, military intelligence to attend funeral
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Please stop abandoning unwanted Easter bunnies in Boynton Beach park. They're attracting coyotes, foxes, bobcats to our nice, high-end neighborhood, lowering property values
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Florida has a lot to deal with, including tornadoes crossing high-rise bridges
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
New NASA satellite is our best chance to find Earth 2, although I think Netflix is carrying it so really, no fancy satellite needed
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 15, 2018
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
A fat guy starts riding a bike and loses weight. This is what passes for front page news in Chattanooga
source: timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Bad eggs in the news. No, not those. Nope, not those either. No, no, no, and no. Look, stop guessing and go read the article
source: abc7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 14, 2018
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Florida woman allowed 2-year-old to smoke meth, roll marijuana joints which is totally fake news because no one has ever learned to roll a good joint in less than 2 years
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Trash panda knocks out power to 40,000 Tennesseans. The ghost of Davy Crockett's hat approves
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 13, 2018
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Motorcyclist in Florida crash shot by own gun. But at least he was wearing a helmet
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Do felons deserve the right to vote? Maine and Vermont are the only states to allow incarcerated criminals to vote and Florida is appealing a ruling related to it
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
One of the worst states for millennials. By millennials they must mean everyone
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 12, 2018
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Florida Man quiz: Walmart doesn't have your meds. Do you? A) Head down to the beer aisle and get drunk in the cooler B) Yell at the pharmacist since you got all dressed up C) Threaten to blow up, shoot, and kill hundreds of people
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
The number one thing killing Floridians is smoking, rather than Florida Man as one might expect
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Conservative: I can't envision how arming teachers could possibly go wrong. Parkland Teacher: Hold my gun
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Quebecois warned -- you are not from Florida, try to avoid taking selfies with the coyotes
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 11, 2018
(The Hill)
 
 
 
There's another blue wave sighting in Florida
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 10, 2018
(KIRO-7 Seattle)
 
 
 
"A man armed with three axes and a knife destroyed a motel room, threatened to kill police officers and others and caused a standoff with police Tuesday." Nice try, liked the stripping, but your Florida Man application has been denied
source: kiro7.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Welcome the newest The British Virgin Island Marlins
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 09, 2018
(WHNT Huntsville)
 
 
 
What happens when an EF3 tornado rips across a college campus full of security cameras
source: whnt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Credited with the "greatest Medicare fraud in American history" Florida Man appears to be the perfect GOP senatorial candidate. Jesus HCArist, $1.7B in fines?
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 07, 2018
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
That'll be thirty days or thirty cans of chicken noodle
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Florida Woman tries to outdo Florida Man by claiming the wind blew that baggie of cocaine into her purse
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
People were laughing when former Florida head coach Jim McElwain sold his home for $400K less than he bought it. Then they found out who he sold it to, and those laughs turned to sawdust-induced tears
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 06, 2018
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Ex-Fanatics employee accused of stealing corporate secrets from them, leaving for a better company
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 05, 2018
(Fox 4 Now Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Indiana Man arrested in Florida after going to the shell festival to take photos of the bearded clams
source: fox4now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Hodor
source: news.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 04, 2018
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Break out your chopsticks and flavor packets, it is National Ramen Day
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 03, 2018
(NESN)
 
 
 
Update on Boston Bruins Brandon Carlo has been issued. Short version: Bruins are hosed
source: nesn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Mugger selects random target who turns out to be an MMA fighter
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Noted philanthropist and legendary uniter of people Ted Nugent says Parkland shooting survivor David Hogg is "consumed with hate"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Abandoned amusement park pictures, because why not
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 02, 2018
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Sometimes, the name says it all
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
I see your seven-foot Interstate gator, and raise with an eleven-foot gator in a swimming pool
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SpaceX)
 
 
 
Here we go again - SpaceX launches a previously used first stage and Dragon capsule from Florida to the ISS with supplies and experiments. No first stage landing - they're doing high-stress maneuvers and tests. Launch at 4:08 EDT
source: spacex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Happy 505th Anniversary to the discovery of Fark's favorite state, and Mickler's Landing (according to local Ponte Vedra lore)
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Everything is possible in the magical world of Disney. Even the arrest of your local Congressman's wife for "disorderly intoxication" (with mugshot)
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
News: Florida man (presumably) vandalizes Trump Golf Course sign w/ red paint. WTF: The Secret Service is investigating. That's right; the U.S. Treasury Dept. now investigates vandalism, but only at Trump properties
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun April 01, 2018
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Just as another American football league is about to form, some in the NFL are requesting expanded player rosters for teams
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 31, 2018
(Ocklawaha)
 
 
 
Florida Man™ tries the old "smell my finger" alibi
source: wtfflorida.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 30, 2018
(Slate)
 
 
 
Guess what Cheeto-colored, combover-wearing, fat fark of a corrupt president went golfing first thing this morning for (by some estimates) his 73rd time during his first year in office? Go on, guess. Or did I give too many hints?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
UCF student deported to China over 'disturbing behavior,' including buying guns, not going to class, attending UCF in the first place
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 29, 2018
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
First Lady may be First Lady to be First Lady Gone Girl
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Eric and Don Trump Jr.:"We love our father." Tiffany Trump unavailable for comment
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The institutional investors that own the gun manufacturers who own the NRA who owns Congress call for a ban on semi-automatic assault weapons and a minimum age of 21 for all firearm purchases
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"You can march all day long," Loesch scoffed. "Ultimately, you've got to follow it up with action." And that action will be voting your puppets out of office, Dana
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Florida man won't use his fingerprint to unlock his mobile phone for cops because he is dead. Detective Honey Badger don't care
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 28, 2018
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Sister of Florida high school shooting victim to Melania Trump: My brother is being cyber-bullied. Where are you?
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
So, it turns out the crowds at the March for Our Lives were a lot smaller and older than reported, and most just came out to see Ariana Grande. And this was determined by a SCIENTIST doing SCIENCE, so there's absolutely no doubt it's true
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
There are ways to get out of paying a half million dollars in back child support you owe, but paddleboarding off into the sunset probably isn't the best
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 61 Connecticut)
 
 
 
Forget it Jake, it's Florida
source: fox61.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 27, 2018
(Politico)
 
 
 
Hey, remember that time Zinke got rid of the offshore drilling moratorium and pissed off every coastal state except Florida, who mysteriously got the sole exception? Yeah, it was planned by Trump aides to give Rick Scott a win, piss everyone off
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
Woman finds 6 foot NOPE in a field
source: wsrz.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
The students at Parkland were killed by: A) Guns; B) Guns; C) Political Correctness
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Radio)
 
 
 
A Florida couple decide the best way to deal with the shooting tragedy is to steal toys from the memorial
source: kfiam640.iheart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon March 26, 2018
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Michigan has its own old geezer to counter Sister Jean
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Today in Bizarro World, I find myself agreeing with Pat Robertson
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Florida woman, tired of being in Florida man's shade, marries a tree
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sun March 25, 2018
(The Hill)
 
 
 
After tonight's 60 Minutes, Melania Trump is staying in Palm Beach for spring break. Frat boys ready to crack open some beers and cue up some Mrs. Robinson
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politicus USA)
 
 
 
As students were marching for their lives and safety from guns, the Justice Department ended school safety studies
source: politicususa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Here's a gallery of the best signs from the "March for Our Lives" demonstrations
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 24, 2018
(The Hill)
 
 
 
The crowd at the March For Our Lives rally in DC was larger than the one at Trump's inauguration
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Which Cinderella will still be dancing after Loyola-Chicago and Kansas State face each other? How about two schools known more for their football programs like Florida State and Michigan? Is your bracket still intact? Find out starting at 6pm EDT on TBS
source: espn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 23, 2018
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Wayne Huizenga has passed away, in his honor the Marlins will have another fire sale
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
A Pennsylvania sheriff's officer has put up a wanted poster for Punxsutawney Phil. The poster claims Phil is wanted for deception. Phil is described as having "brown and grey hair, brown eyes, sharp teeth"
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Department of Justice)
 
 
 
Russian with ties to Trump-brand Florida anchor baby mill pleads guilty to exporting prohibited arms to Russia
source: justice.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 22, 2018
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Scientists discover pill that restores vitality, reverses body clock, turning old mice new again. Human trials planned soon in Florida 55-and-older-only trailer park
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNSNews)
 
 
 
Bill Murray auditions for the next "Captain Obvious" commercial
source: cnsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Mystery stench prompts Wellington Florida officials to launch investigation. What's to investigate, it's Florida after all
source: mypalmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Teen girl machete-wielding carjacking team make bid for "Most Florida Story of the Week". With Xanax-addled mugshot
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Gorillas in the Mist. New hotness: Opossums under the Hood
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 13 Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida man achieves a BAC of .316. His mugshot shows how proud he is
source: fox13news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 21, 2018
(UK government)
 
 
 
And Cambridge Analytica quietly slips into another host body
source: beta.companieshouse.gov.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
Ricky Williams opens business selling the drug that got him in trouble with the NFL
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Old woman playing with pebbles on street corner worries bus driver. It's Florida, so no, this is not the title of a Swedish movie about existential angst
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Students protesting gun control are "just as dangerous as brownshirt Hitler youth"
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
NFL catches so much heat over flawed reception rule it completes the process of scrapping it completely
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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