headlines found matching 'Florida' NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Wed June 09, 2021 |
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"Ya'll chill, I'm just intoxicated" may not be the smartest thing to say to cops after you've just run down a pedestrian while driving 114 mph
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"Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds" doesn't mention anything about gators
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The federal government is contributing to climate change, needs to get rid of its energy wasting marijuana ban
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The Congressional Black Caucus is blackballing a Republican Congressman. Maybe he shouldn't have supported the insurrection
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If you ask me, "I hope I do better than a sex trafficker" makes for one hell of a campaign slogan
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Just because it's a Rolls, that doesn't mean you shouldn't get a Carfax report on it
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Royal Caribbean flip-flops on unvaccinated cruisers. Its fans aren't so happy
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Florida Woman, Disneyland, snack foods, and kids books are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, May 23-29: Homemade Ice Cream Edition
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Armie Hammer checks into rehab for drugs, alcohol, sex, and cannibalism
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Florida Department of Transportation: "No bridges with teh ghey"
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Going to get tacos in the Everglades turns out to be a bad idea
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| Mon May 24, 2021 |
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What do you call FAA proposing fines of over than US$60,000 against unruly airline passengers in mask fights? An excellent start
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Cops: Florida Man used slice of pizza as weapon
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Anything can be a weapon, if you're Florida enough
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Kid cleans out family car and finds $5k from previous owner, who gifts him 20% for returning it
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Obvious: Qevin McCarthy shouldn't be speaker of the house, Fark: oh shiat Bobert wants the job, Florida: Gaetz endorses Bobert
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Governor Ron DeSantis vows to keep American historical facts on slavery, racism, lynching, discrimination, civil rights protests, suffrage, Jim Crow, segregation out of state's public classrooms since they weren't in Declaration of Independence
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There is a reason they're called the Florida Keys
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THERE she is. Good girl. Good GOP girl. Now sit
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Governor Ron DeSantis (FL-GOP) signs bill into law that will fine social media companies "deplatforming" political candidates up to $250,000 a day, encourages politicians to lie with impunity
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When even Steve-O says you're a complete train wreck and need help it may be time to stop worrying about being a Jackass
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If Tyerune is found shot to death and Doug and Jasmine are suspects, than X equals the arrest of middle school math teacher Martesha. Investigators will solve for Y
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Florida Woman: "Hold my beer and HANG ON"
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Scientists successfully breed corals with goal of disease, zombie resistance
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Vampire fish found again in river, surprisingly not in Florida
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| Tue May 11, 2021 |
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Estate of 54 year old man may want to seek refund from anger management class provider
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Ukraine says Russia still has 100,000 troops near its border. They're just, you know, hanging out, playing chess, enjoying the warm spring weather, that sort of thing
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Florida woman, unsure on the definition of designated driver, is arrested for dui after hitting three cars in the bar's parking lot causing her own car to burst into flames. The intoxicrats
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Federal investigators seek the cooperation of Matt Gaetz's ex-girlfriend, hope to speak to her after fourth period history
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Megalodon shark bares its rows of huge terrifying teeth in close encounter with diver off Florida. Okay just a regular bull shark, but it's still all about the perspective
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Smoking hot, large breasted, semi clothed, Florida woman wakes up in her car in a 7/11 parking lot in the middle of the night. Meets the police. Does some tests
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Federal investigators are almost done collecting all the evidence they need against Gaspedo Gaetz that indictments should be inbound within the month
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| Thu May 06, 2021 |
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Own this 1982 DeLorean with only 8,000 original miles, 2.85L SOHC V6 and the rare five-speed manual transmission. It's in such good shape this thing is practically a time machine
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Denmark claims Corona Pass app that tracks negative test results and vaccine status is allowing bars, cafes, restaurants, museums and other social events to safely open. Florida shakes head in disbelief, pounds another White Claw
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On this day in 1965 something good happened in Florida. It took a seedy Brit to do it, but still
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Arizona Republican threatens DOJ with a good time. A good time for us spectators, not for her when there's a knock on the door
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Bedazzled, Asbury Park to be Bamboozled
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"It's part of our duties as humans. You always have to help wildlife, especially in need"
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| Wed April 28, 2021 |
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God, Guns, and Schools. The perfect GOP law passed by the Florida legislature
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Florida man clearly tired of waiting to be in a headline, carjacks own car because if you want something done right, well
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"Civics students shouldn't learn just Judeo-Christian beliefs." Okay, then, let's debate the merits of Zoroastrian sky burial vs. stuffing bodies in hollow tree trunks like they did in the Caucasus nations
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Governor DeSantis is doing such a good job defeating Covid-19, he's had to extend pandemic state of emergency for another 60 days
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New York, along with other blue states, spent money for outreach to ensure minorities were counted and had a 4% higher tally than predicted. Red states such as Arizona, OTOH, hardly spent any and had an undercount, possibly costing them House seats
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"The owl was carefully extracted from the pickup truck and taken to a facility where it was given fluids, pain medication and laser therapy treatment"
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Tennessee governor:"25% vaccinated? Not great, not terrible. Let's open her up again"
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| (VegNews) |
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Nathan's Famous joins the vegan movement, will offer free vegan dog to curious customers at its restaurants
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| Mon April 26, 2021 |
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Beefalo not happy with his new state
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A Florida community is melting down over the release of 500 million gene-hacked mosquitoes
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Florida - If the stupid doesn't kill you, our spiders will
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Ex-GOP press secretaries have some advice for the assembled Congress people at the GOP Retreat in Florida: Prepare for interviews with the press, don't wing it. In fact, maybe better if you guys don't speak at all
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The first rule of bank robbery is to have your getaway vehicle ready. The second rule is to actually use it and not just stand there like a dumbass and get arrested, as Florida Man finds out
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Father pulls 9-year-old daughter out of $43,000/year private school and moves to Florida to avoid having her hear about Black Lives Matter. "First and foremost, neither I, nor my child, have 'white privilege,' nor do we need to apologize for it"
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Florida-raised salmon could be in your future. They're just like regular salmon, but with a lot more complaining about how they used to do things in Alaska
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Update from the Arizona re-recount: We are altering the recount agreement. Pray we do not alter it any further
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Fark's Favorite State™ goes soft on the Johnson
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Did anyone really believe NASCAR would even consider making COVID-19 vaccines mandatory?
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Florida couple claimed to have saved $2250 at Walmart by finding 50 weighted blankets on clearance for $5 each, marked down from $50. No word on why they needed 50 weighted blankets though
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"Florida Republican's most important accomplishments this session were making it harder to vote and easier to run over protestors"
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