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headlines found matching 'Florida'

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Sat May 26, 2018
		Two McDonald's customers have filed a $5 million lawsuit alleging they are charged the same price regardless if their burger has cheese or not source: foxnews.com \| share:	149
		If you thought the Parkland kids would just fade away, guess again. They just got Publix to halt their political contributions source: orlandosentinel.com \| share:	135

Fri May 25, 2018
		Florida Man tries to shoot down drone hovering near his home. Fires seven 9mm rounds. None of which hit the aerial intruder source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	118

Thu May 24, 2018
		Let's see how things are going for George Zimmerman source: ajc.com \| share:	164

Wed May 23, 2018
		Crime in Florida is at 47-year-low, a drop attributed to public safety investments, police work, Governor Rick Scott's ability to echolocate criminals in the dark of night source: mynews13.com \| share:	59
		If you're going to shoplift three days in a row, wearing your sheriff's deputy uniform won't help disguise you source: wsvn.com \| share:	16

Tue May 22, 2018
		Shooting fireworks at your buddies is all fun and games until someone goes to the hospital with serious injuries. And there is footage of it. And someone posted it to twitter. Surprisingly, this did not happen in Florida. Or involve Drew's childhood source: cbc.ca \| share:	56
		Florida Man, aka Florida Jackass, blocks traffic to do donuts on bridge source: local10.com \| share:	24
		Putin's new "unlimited range" nuclear missile set a distance record after four tests, traveling 22 miles source: telegraph.co.uk \| share:	71
		Florida man attempts harakiri with a wooden sailfish statue after learning he'd been busted in his 2nd online sex sting in two years source: fox4now.com \| share:	49
		For some reason, a Republican candidate for Congress really doesn't think that Puerto Ricans who arrived in Florida in the aftermath of Hurricane Maria should vote in the state source: politico.com \| share:	172

Mon May 21, 2018
		Florida man climbs atop playground equipment at park and shouts at kids about where babies come from -- causing parents to rush in and take them away source: tampabay.com \| share:	44

Sun May 20, 2018
		Texas governor's website is still raffling off a rifle, though they canceled the door prize source: cnn.com \| share:	219
		Bae beats bae, bids baseball bye-bye source: espn.com \| share:	8

Sat May 19, 2018
		Rich neighborhood will soon be home to a glass house. Hopefully no one inside throws stones source: sun-sentinel.com \| share:	64
		Recent calculations of General Relativity show that Mercury's orbit should shift an additional degree every 2 billion years than previous less-detailed calculations. A soon to be launched probe to find out if Einstein is still the top gun of physics source: physicsworld.com \| share:	15

Fri May 18, 2018
		Please note: if you're going to call in bomb threats to mosques, the FBI is in possession of a cunning technology known as "caller ID" source: clickorlando.com \| share:	42
		Stop. The. HTML presses. Alcoholic beer slushies are now being served. To go. In Pennsylvania. So gear up for more headlines from the Florida of the North. It's going to be a long, hot summer source: pennlive.com \| share:	99

Thu May 17, 2018
		Nebraska coach Scott Frost responds to Nick Saban's comments about Central Florida's title being legit by saying 1 or 2 of Alabama's aren't legit, either source: espn.com \| share:	14
		Florida's Channel 9 buys and forgives $1M worth of medical debt, helping 1,000 families in need. They still get the Florida tag, but the Hero tag is raising a glass in salute source: wftv.com \| share:	53
		SeaWorld to pour free beer and jeez, come back, guys, I didn't even finish the headline yet source: wftv.com \| share:	34
		5 things to know before hurricane season. Oddly, 'get the hell out of Florida' not on the list source: wftv.com \| share:	46
		Lucas Glover's Wife Blamed the Attack on Her Mother-in-Law In 911 Call source: si.com \| share:	16
		Pants-around-ankles Florida Man quickly nabbed by police after running over power pole, barber pole, fence poles. Look, he likes poles, that's all I'm saying source: wftv.com \| share:	28
		Apparently, he was 3 months away from his $100,000/year retirement. The Broward deputy has seen enough movies to know what would have happened if he had intervened source: wesh.com \| share:	125

Wed May 16, 2018
		Florida Man gives meth to 14-year-old girl for good cause, to "keep her off the streets." Oh, and to have sex with her, but that's not the point source: abcactionnews.com \| share:	35
		Florida 7-Eleven blasting opera music to ward off panhandlers. To be fair, it's reasonable to conclude that the handouts are over once the fat lady sings source: wftv.com \| share:	36
		Florida Man e-killed by exploding e-cigarette source: wtsp.com \| share:	78

Mon May 14, 2018
		Florida gubernatorial primary revolves around 'skanks' and racism source: politico.com \| share:	22

Fri May 11, 2018
		Florida: We had a sinkhole outbreak. New Zealand: Hold my beer source: msn.com \| share:	10
		Florida man hid legless fugitive girlfriend in plastic tote and even remembered to make some airholes source: wptv.com \| share:	44
		Elon Musk has reached his final form. It's the debut launch of the Falcon 9 Block 5 with a comms satellite for Bangladesh. Liftoff from Canaveral, first-stage landing on a drone ship. Launch window opens at 4:14 pm EDT (UPDATE: Launch rescheduled for Friday) source: spaceflightnow.com \| share:	412
		Florida Man wrangles 12-foot hammerhead shark onto beach and...OMG LOOK AT THOSE ABS source: foxnews.com \| share:	142

Thu May 10, 2018
		And here's a story about GOP megadonor, Beau Bridges doppelganger, and Cohen fall guy, Elliot Broidy, operating an illegal private security company in Florida, because why the hell not at this point? source: rawstory.com \| share:	59
		Massive sinkhole outbreak leaves Florida neighborhood looking like the moon source: foxnews.com \| share:	59
		Teenage boy seen in retention pond flailing and screaming about having been bitten before going under water. Police search the pond and find the body....of an adult woman. Wait, what? source: apnews.com \| share:	76

Wed May 09, 2018
		Florida Woman meets Arizona Man, goes on one date, proceeds to send over 65k text messages. Then the real stalking began source: kgun9.com \| share:	99

Tue May 08, 2018
		The Florida teacher's co-workers began worrying about his behavior as early as 2009, when he was reportedly found with a student with the lights dimmed and his shoes off source: mypalmbeachpost.com \| share:	39
		Being thirsty for beer is not a medical emergency worthy of a call to 911 source: nypost.com \| share:	36
		Florida man was just trying to open a beer with a knife. What could possibly go wrong? source: miamiherald.com \| share:	24

Mon May 07, 2018
		Hello? Geico? Yeah I just hit another vehicle with my pick-up truck. The other vehicle? Well, it's a Boeing 737 with the words "Southwest Airlines" painted on it source: wtop.com \| share:	106
		University of Florida says it is ending its "Get Off The Stage Now, Minstrel" policy source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	151

Sat May 05, 2018
		It's not normal to find a credit card you think is a gift from God, use it to buy a plane ticket to Fark's favorite state, and then drive to Mar-a-Lago with the intention of smoking a joint with President Trump ... but on meth it is source: wptv.com \| share:	29
		Rooster saved from Santeria priest quickly becomes Florida Bird source: miamiherald.com \| share:	31
		The new guide to success in the NFL Draft. Step 1: Threaten Dallas Cowboys on Twitter with 'IMMA BLOW THaT B--CH UP' if they don't draft you in the first round. Step 2: SWAT raids your home. Step 3: Profit? source: bleacherreport.com \| share:	8

Fri May 04, 2018
		After 9 days, Florida woman gets giant NOPE out of ear source: fox13news.com \| share:	36

Thu May 03, 2018
		Florida man sets Guinness record for tallest hat. Does it really matter that he doesn't exist? source: tampabay.com \| share:	28

Wed May 02, 2018
		In rare moment of sagacity, Florida Man uses Jet Ski to put out boat fire source: cbs12.com \| share:	34
		Florida paper runs gun show ad below stories of mass shootings. In their defense, those ARE related source: politico.com \| share:	84
		"Invasive fist-sized treefrogs in New Orleans." Well, so much for the hamster bubble source: wsav.com \| share:	36
		Watch a harmless Florida waterspout open up a can of whuppass on this harbor source: youtube.com \| share:	36

Tue May 01, 2018
		Florida congressman gets a proper Florida welcome from a group of sixth-graders. One finger salute involved of course source: nwfdailynews.com \| share:	45
		I don't know about you, but I'm wanting one of those Ford Transformobiles. They are pretty cool. You can destroy small villages and commute to work all in one day source: foxnews.com \| share:	13

Mon April 30, 2018
		I can understand being upset about your team's NFL draft picks but it might not be a good idea to tweet a picture depicting a drug lord killing narcotics officer and then threatening to do the same to the GM source: tampabay.com \| share:	17
		It's not every day that you see a bird carrying a shark which is carrying a fish source: msn.com \| share:	67
		"NRA Convention Bans Guns To Protect Mike Pence. Parkland Survivors' Jaws Drop." Because until now the Secret Service has always been so relaxed and casual about guns near the people they're watching source: yahoo.com \| share:	107
		Asinine: HOA rep sends letter demanding woman take down her rainbow flag. Surprise: Person who sent letter isn't part of HOA. Spiffy: Neighborhood now filled with rainbow flags source: wftv.com \| share:	86

Sun April 29, 2018
		Maryland starts enforcing road tolls. Some people have a problem with this source: sfgate.com \| share:	88
		Four words: cucumber, slingshot, Chinese, girl source: liveleak.com \| share:	57
		If Matt Millen doesn't get a heart transplant he's gonna be drafting wide receivers in the first round every year in heaven source: prosportsdaily.com \| share:	5

Fri April 27, 2018
		Florida Man accused of karate kicking swans, dishonoring his shaolin temple source: mynews13.com \| share:	32

Thu April 26, 2018
		I-95 construction sign: My daddy works here. Florida Woman: Let's see if this thing can do 110 (with pierced-lip mugshot) source: actionnewsjax.com \| share:	100
		You can now drop the Google Streetview guy into the water source: local10.com \| share:	26
		Not only is there a war on cops, but also on cop cars. Minivans to the rescue source: wptv.com \| share:	21
		Tesla Model X driver makes it to the gym in under 26 minutes source: jalopnik.com \| share:	62

Wed April 25, 2018
		Naked. Moaning. Florida man. Sex toy. Bodily secretions. That's a BINGO source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	22
		Today's lesson in the new new new common core math: Babies-R-Us + voodoo + evils spirits + box cutter = Florida source: miamiherald.com \| share:	14

Tue April 24, 2018
		Janet Jackson decides to extend her world tour by eleven days in the US, which isn't really the world source: rollingstone.com \| share:	26
		After the Parkland shooting, the NRA has been on the ropes, right? Just kidding, they set a new record for fundraising in a single month source: tampabay.com \| share:	328

Mon April 23, 2018
		The Tampa Bay Buccaneers announced today that their day three draft picks will be delivered by a parrot source: msn.com \| share:	18
		What do you do if your Women's Tennis Team is 10-16 after the season but you need to be .500 to make the NCAA Tournament? If you're the University of Arkansas you schedule 6 tournaments in one day against Tennessee State and go 6-0 source: deadspin.com \| share:	9
		Shut it down, we've achieved Peak Florida source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	88
		Supreme Court 2010: Sentencing a juvenile to life in prison without parole violates the 8th amendment. Supreme Court 2017: Sentencing a juvenile to 240 years in prison with his first parole eligibility when he's 112 years old? Yeah, that's totally fine source: thehill.com \| share:	172
		Florida leads the US in states where you're least likely to see a UFO, possibly because aliens can just blend in with all the other general weirdness down there source: newsobserver.com \| share:	27
		Oh, Florida, don't ever change: "A Miami pimp's reaction to a Santa's Enchanted Forest employee not paying for sex with a 16-year-old led cops to him and a prison sentence for sex trafficking" source: miamiherald.com \| share:	79

Fri April 20, 2018
		71-year-old Florida county commissioner faces multiple charges after authorities say he paid a married couple living with him to be able to have sex with the wife, and the story only gets more Florida from there source: wtkr.com \| share:	70
		Florida students walk out to protest school shootings. Since this is Florida, you can probably guess what happens next source: time.com \| share:	288

Thu April 19, 2018
		The odds Trump will be able to end the Mueller probe are now 9/11 source: cnbc.com \| share:	155
		If you are the one who's been spray-painting tortoises, the Florida Wildlife Commission would like a word source: mynews13.com \| share:	48
		911: What's the nature of your emergency. Caller: Help, there's a possum in my bedroom source: upi.com \| share:	30

Wed April 18, 2018
		Florida man fined $120 million for calling 97 million of his best friends, usually right as they were setting down to eat dinner source: bloomberg.com \| share:	127
		Will Trump praise Unit 731? Will he demand funding for a Gojira Wall? Just how bad will he fark this up? This is YOUR joint press conference with Prime Minister of Japan Shinzo Abe. (LGT C-SPAN @ roughly 1730 EDT) source: c-span.org \| share:	145
		Trump realizes who pays his bills, promptly backs out of TPP agreement again source: bloomberg.com \| share:	33
		Delta flight to Florida blows tire. Hey, we all have our kinks source: freep.com \| share:	30
		Actual rejected Florida vanity license plates source: fox13memphis.com \| share:	102
		Florida Man tries to sell broccoli claiming it's weed, someone ends up getting killed. Jolly Green Giant wanted for questioning source: bradenton.com \| share:	46

Tue April 17, 2018
		In Utero is a pretty good Nirvana album. It's also where a woman in Florida keeps her tire gauge that she uses to smoke crack source: tcpalm.com \| share:	70
		Florida kids continue to get uppity, sue Republican governor for being 'immoral'. Which is like suing Florida Man for being irresponsible source: nypost.com \| share:	14
		Python has a sex party, Unix has a D&D gathering source: orlandoweekly.com \| share:	19

Mon April 16, 2018
		African warthog captured in Florida. Panicking meerkat trying to raise bail money source: tcpalm.com \| share:	49
		Florida man asks one of the eternal questions of life: "What would happen if I stole some beer?" source: tcpalm.com \| share:	35
		Pygmy whale dies after stranding itself on Florida beach. Jumbo shrimp, military intelligence to attend funeral source: clickorlando.com \| share:	28
		Please stop abandoning unwanted Easter bunnies in Boynton Beach park. They're attracting coyotes, foxes, bobcats to our nice, high-end neighborhood, lowering property values source: sun-sentinel.com \| share:	80
		Florida has a lot to deal with, including tornadoes crossing high-rise bridges source: mysuncoast.com \| share:	44
		New NASA satellite is our best chance to find Earth 2, although I think Netflix is carrying it so really, no fancy satellite needed source: salon.com \| share:	36

Sun April 15, 2018
		A fat guy starts riding a bike and loses weight. This is what passes for front page news in Chattanooga source: timesfreepress.com \| share:	41
		Bad eggs in the news. No, not those. Nope, not those either. No, no, no, and no. Look, stop guessing and go read the article source: abc7.com \| share:	32

Sat April 14, 2018
		Florida woman allowed 2-year-old to smoke meth, roll marijuana joints which is totally fake news because no one has ever learned to roll a good joint in less than 2 years source: yahoo.com \| share:	86
		Trash panda knocks out power to 40,000 Tennesseans. The ghost of Davy Crockett's hat approves source: miamiherald.com \| share:	44

Fri April 13, 2018
		Motorcyclist in Florida crash shot by own gun. But at least he was wearing a helmet source: mynews13.com \| share:	90
		Do felons deserve the right to vote? Maine and Vermont are the only states to allow incarcerated criminals to vote and Florida is appealing a ruling related to it source: pennlive.com \| share:	54
		One of the worst states for millennials. By millennials they must mean everyone source: floridatoday.com \| share:	37

Thu April 12, 2018
		Florida Man quiz: Walmart doesn't have your meds. Do you? A) Head down to the beer aisle and get drunk in the cooler B) Yell at the pharmacist since you got all dressed up C) Threaten to blow up, shoot, and kill hundreds of people source: floridatoday.com \| share:	51
		The number one thing killing Floridians is smoking, rather than Florida Man as one might expect source: tampabay.com \| share:	21
		Conservative: I can't envision how arming teachers could possibly go wrong. Parkland Teacher: Hold my gun source: miamiherald.com \| share:	172
		Quebecois warned -- you are not from Florida, try to avoid taking selfies with the coyotes source: ctvnews.ca \| share:	41

Wed April 11, 2018
		There's another blue wave sighting in Florida source: thehill.com \| share:	42

Tue April 10, 2018
		"A man armed with three axes and a knife destroyed a motel room, threatened to kill police officers and others and caused a standoff with police Tuesday." Nice try, liked the stripping, but your Florida Man application has been denied source: kiro7.com \| share:	21
		Welcome the newest The British Virgin Island Marlins source: miamiherald.com \| share:	17

Mon April 09, 2018
		What happens when an EF3 tornado rips across a college campus full of security cameras source: whnt.com \| share:	57
		Credited with the "greatest Medicare fraud in American history" Florida Man appears to be the perfect GOP senatorial candidate. Jesus HCArist, $1.7B in fines? source: tampabay.com \| share:	53

Sat April 07, 2018
		That'll be thirty days or thirty cans of chicken noodle source: local10.com \| share:	33
		Florida Woman tries to outdo Florida Man by claiming the wind blew that baggie of cocaine into her purse source: local10.com \| share:	28
		People were laughing when former Florida head coach Jim McElwain sold his home for $400K less than he bought it. Then they found out who he sold it to, and those laughs turned to sawdust-induced tears source: tampabay.com \| share:	14

Fri April 06, 2018
		Ex-Fanatics employee accused of stealing corporate secrets from them, leaving for a better company source: espn.com \| share:	6

Thu April 05, 2018
		Indiana Man arrested in Florida after going to the shell festival to take photos of the bearded clams source: fox4now.com \| share:	48
		Hodor source: news.vice.com \| share:	69

Wed April 04, 2018
		Break out your chopsticks and flavor packets, it is National Ramen Day source: usatoday.com \| share:	91

Tue April 03, 2018
		Update on Boston Bruins Brandon Carlo has been issued. Short version: Bruins are hosed source: nesn.com \| share:	6
		Mugger selects random target who turns out to be an MMA fighter source: orlandosentinel.com \| share:	46
		Noted philanthropist and legendary uniter of people Ted Nugent says Parkland shooting survivor David Hogg is "consumed with hate" source: nydailynews.com \| share:	175
		Abandoned amusement park pictures, because why not source: deslide.clusterfake.net \| share:	21

Mon April 02, 2018
		Sometimes, the name says it all source: mlive.com \| share:	32
		I see your seven-foot Interstate gator, and raise with an eleven-foot gator in a swimming pool source: bbc.com \| share:	23
		Here we go again - SpaceX launches a previously used first stage and Dragon capsule from Florida to the ISS with supplies and experiments. No first stage landing - they're doing high-stress maneuvers and tests. Launch at 4:08 EDT source: spacex.com \| share:	85
		Happy 505th Anniversary to the discovery of Fark's favorite state, and Mickler's Landing (according to local Ponte Vedra lore) source: en.wikipedia.org \| share:	39
		Everything is possible in the magical world of Disney. Even the arrest of your local Congressman's wife for "disorderly intoxication" (with mugshot) source: actionnewsjax.com \| share:	120
		News: Florida man (presumably) vandalizes Trump Golf Course sign w/ red paint. WTF: The Secret Service is investigating. That's right; the U.S. Treasury Dept. now investigates vandalism, but only at Trump properties source: palmbeachpost.com \| share:	69

Sun April 01, 2018
		Just as another American football league is about to form, some in the NFL are requesting expanded player rosters for teams source: espn.com \| share:	17

Sat March 31, 2018
(Ocklawaha)		Florida Man™ tries the old "smell my finger" alibi source: wtfflorida.com \| share:	35

Fri March 30, 2018
		Guess what Cheeto-colored, combover-wearing, fat fark of a corrupt president went golfing first thing this morning for (by some estimates) his 73rd time during his first year in office? Go on, guess. Or did I give too many hints? source: slate.com \| share:	79
		UCF student deported to China over 'disturbing behavior,' including buying guns, not going to class, attending UCF in the first place source: wftv.com \| share:	51

Thu March 29, 2018
		First Lady may be First Lady to be First Lady Gone Girl source: rawstory.com \| share:	192
		Eric and Don Trump Jr.:"We love our father." Tiffany Trump unavailable for comment source: politico.com \| share:	47
		The institutional investors that own the gun manufacturers who own the NRA who owns Congress call for a ban on semi-automatic assault weapons and a minimum age of 21 for all firearm purchases source: theguardian.com \| share:	128
		"You can march all day long," Loesch scoffed. "Ultimately, you've got to follow it up with action." And that action will be voting your puppets out of office, Dana source: rawstory.com \| share:	181
		Florida man won't use his fingerprint to unlock his mobile phone for cops because he is dead. Detective Honey Badger don't care source: baynews9.com \| share:	44

Wed March 28, 2018
		Sister of Florida high school shooting victim to Melania Trump: My brother is being cyber-bullied. Where are you? source: twitter.com \| share:	393
		So, it turns out the crowds at the March for Our Lives were a lot smaller and older than reported, and most just came out to see Ariana Grande. And this was determined by a SCIENTIST doing SCIENCE, so there's absolutely no doubt it's true source: foxnews.com \| share:	129
		There are ways to get out of paying a half million dollars in back child support you owe, but paddleboarding off into the sunset probably isn't the best source: wftv.com \| share:	55
		Forget it Jake, it's Florida source: fox61.com \| share:	55

Tue March 27, 2018
		Hey, remember that time Zinke got rid of the offshore drilling moratorium and pissed off every coastal state except Florida, who mysteriously got the sole exception? Yeah, it was planned by Trump aides to give Rick Scott a win, piss everyone off source: politico.com \| share:	53
		Woman finds 6 foot NOPE in a field source: wsrz.iheart.com \| share:	84
		The students at Parkland were killed by: A) Guns; B) Guns; C) Political Correctness source: rightwingwatch.org \| share:	199
		A Florida couple decide the best way to deal with the shooting tragedy is to steal toys from the memorial source: kfiam640.iheart.com \| share:	58

Mon March 26, 2018
		Michigan has its own old geezer to counter Sister Jean source: al.com \| share:	12
		Today in Bizarro World, I find myself agreeing with Pat Robertson source: rightwingwatch.org \| share:	38
		Florida woman, tired of being in Florida man's shade, marries a tree source: tampabay.com \| share:	41

Sun March 25, 2018
		After tonight's 60 Minutes, Melania Trump is staying in Palm Beach for spring break. Frat boys ready to crack open some beers and cue up some Mrs. Robinson source: thehill.com \| share:	143
		As students were marching for their lives and safety from guns, the Justice Department ended school safety studies source: politicususa.com \| share:	140
		Here's a gallery of the best signs from the "March for Our Lives" demonstrations source: slate.com \| share:	514

Sat March 24, 2018
		The crowd at the March For Our Lives rally in DC was larger than the one at Trump's inauguration source: thehill.com \| share:	222
		Which Cinderella will still be dancing after Loyola-Chicago and Kansas State face each other? How about two schools known more for their football programs like Florida State and Michigan? Is your bracket still intact? Find out starting at 6pm EDT on TBS source: espn.com \| share:	171

Fri March 23, 2018
		Wayne Huizenga has passed away, in his honor the Marlins will have another fire sale source: cbssports.com \| share:	5
		A Pennsylvania sheriff's officer has put up a wanted poster for Punxsutawney Phil. The poster claims Phil is wanted for deception. Phil is described as having "brown and grey hair, brown eyes, sharp teeth" source: wyff4.com \| share:	35
		Russian with ties to Trump-brand Florida anchor baby mill pleads guilty to exporting prohibited arms to Russia source: justice.gov \| share:	20

Thu March 22, 2018
		Scientists discover pill that restores vitality, reverses body clock, turning old mice new again. Human trials planned soon in Florida 55-and-older-only trailer park source: smh.com.au \| share:	37
		Bill Murray auditions for the next "Captain Obvious" commercial source: cnsnews.com \| share:	34
		Mystery stench prompts Wellington Florida officials to launch investigation. What's to investigate, it's Florida after all source: mypalmbeachpost.com \| share:	38
		Teen girl machete-wielding carjacking team make bid for "Most Florida Story of the Week". With Xanax-addled mugshot source: heraldtribune.com \| share:	53
		Old and busted: Gorillas in the Mist. New hotness: Opossums under the Hood source: upi.com \| share:	38
		Florida man achieves a BAC of .316. His mugshot shows how proud he is source: fox13news.com \| share:	38

Wed March 21, 2018
(UK government)		And Cambridge Analytica quietly slips into another host body source: beta.companieshouse.gov.uk \| share:	101
		Ricky Williams opens business selling the drug that got him in trouble with the NFL source: wgno.com \| share:	12
		Old woman playing with pebbles on street corner worries bus driver. It's Florida, so no, this is not the title of a Swedish movie about existential angst source: nwfdailynews.com \| share:	34
		Students protesting gun control are "just as dangerous as brownshirt Hitler youth" source: rightwingwatch.org \| share:	100
		NFL catches so much heat over flawed reception rule it completes the process of scrapping it completely source: bleacherreport.com \| share:	26

Tue March 20, 2018
		The NRA cries like a little girl over their break up with Florida's Republican House Speaker Richard Corcoran source: cnn.com \| share:	71

Mon March 19, 2018
		Bad: being chased on foot by police. Situation improving: finding a bicycle. Florida Man: which you then throw at the police and jump in a lake source: mynews13.com \| share:	15
		And the last pieces Mueller needs to link Putin to Trump are falling into place: Cambridge Analytica whistleblower says they "met with Corey Lewandowski in 2015, before Trump declared". Now, if Mueller can just somehow link in Kevin Bacon, he wins source: thehill.com \| share:	148

Sun March 18, 2018
		Well that didn't take long. Florida begins seizing guns from people without due process using the new Parkland laws source: sun-sentinel.com \| share:	263

Sat March 17, 2018
		Well, bye. "Lesbian skinhead" moran drops out of legislative race in Maine source: bangordailynews.com \| share:	117
		Bad: driving drunk. Worse: your child is in the car. Florida: you have four flat tires source: abcactionnews.com \| share:	23
		EU to Trump: we see your metal tariffs, and raise you levies on: Mitch McConnell's Kentucky bourbon, Paul Ryan's Wisconsin cranberries, swing states' tobacco and orange juice from North Carolina and Florida, respectively source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	163

Fri March 16, 2018
		Amateur backyard blacksmithing goes about as well as drunken, turkey deep-frying on a home-made deck attached to a trailer in Florida source: wcax.com \| share:	106
		Engineering firm that designed collapsed FIU bridge also designed one in Virginia that collapsed during construction. Whoops source: wtkr.com \| share:	172

Thu March 15, 2018
		Yeah, we all like to go RVing but the edge of an overpass probably isn't the best place to do it source: foxnews.com \| share:	44
		Now is not the time to talk about bridge control source: miami.cbslocal.com \| share:	534
		Baby Jesus missing for nearly a century suddenly appears on NJ church doorstep via mail package. Church people call the cops source: nbcnewyork.com \| share:	52
		Sure exercise is key to lasting good health, but so are chips and beer according to this 100-year-old woman source: nbcsandiego.com \| share:	18
		Photos from across the country of students walking out of class demanding gun control source: vox.com \| share:	94

Wed March 14, 2018
		Florida man attacks another with a tennis ball launcher. Not not that kind, the other kind source: wcjb.com \| share:	72
		Some husbands give traditional gift of silver plate on 23rd wedding anniversaries. This husband gave wife his kidney on silver platter instead source: wftv.com \| share:	30
		These sneakers were made for walking and we're walking out on school source: nypost.com \| share:	657

Tue March 13, 2018
		New Jersey escaped prisoner evades capture for 23 years, then gets caught in...Florida source: nj.com \| share:	34
		Florida Man steals peacock, gets chased by angry birds. Green pigs unavailable for comment source: wftv.com \| share:	39
		You're not helping: Moran arrested for threatening to shoot up anti-gun rally source: nj.com \| share:	90

Mon March 12, 2018
		Betsy DeVos on 60 minutes: Where there is "school choice," public schools get better because competition. Lesley Stahl: "Has that happened in Michigan? Have the public schools in Michigan gotten better?" DeVos: "I don't know" source: thehill.com \| share:	222

Sun March 11, 2018
		Florida comes up with solution to invasive iguanas: Whacking Day source: clickorlando.com \| share:	110
		Tiger Woods is in the lead of a real live golf tournament. Welcome to 2008 source: deadspin.com \| share:	26

Sat March 10, 2018
		Teacher mom arrested for assaulting another mom at their kids' little league baseball practice because victim wore "short shorts." Lady, this is Florida. Volleyball shorts, bikinis, one-piece suits are acceptable women's wear to little league games source: news4jax.com \| share:	119
		NRA to Florida: "Back up, buttercup. We're The Law in these parts" source: miami.cbslocal.com \| share:	338
		This just in: Duke sucks, and Grayson Allen is still a dirty player source: cbssports.com \| share:	25

Thu March 08, 2018
		In a stunning repeat performance, Florida Man™ downs 16 vodaks, eats chimichangas in an all day binge at a Mexican restaurant then skips out on the tab source: bustedcoverage.com \| share:	40
		Somebody did something honorable and nice. In Florida. Which is so strange, we think it's Farkworthy source: nwfdailynews.com \| share:	30
		Florida condo association decides to ban Bible studies and Christian music source: foxnews.com \| share:	69

Wed March 07, 2018
		We're not arming plain old teachers, but will arm football coaches and band directors, obviously source: cnn.com \| share:	53
		Florida Man learns that if you have 5 mason jars of pot, 100 grams of cocaine, 4 handguns, and $10,000 in your car, you probably don't want to honk your horn excessively at police officers trying to clear an accident source: wcjb.com \| share:	96
		Finally, something sane and sensible is happening in Florida. They're trying to eliminate Daylight Saving Time source: sun-sentinel.com \| share:	108
		Truck driver spills 60,000 pounds of beer on I-10 in Florida source: local21news.com \| share:	80

Tue March 06, 2018
		Illinois man attempts to become Florida man by stealing car, ramming airport terminal, boarding empty plane, and breaking into sheriff's deputy's vehicle. Did I mention he was running from zombies? source: pjstar.com \| share:	35
		Dating back to the mid '90s, Florida Man has regularly used his three minutes of public comment at council meetings to hurl profane and racially provocative invective at council members source: tampabay.com \| share:	67
		Stoneman Douglas hockey players surprised with The Stanley Cup. Tag is for the Florida Panthers organization source: barstoolsports.com \| share:	29
		In these tense times of chaos, we should be respectful of our leaders, to ensure our government remains calm and functioning properly. And possibly put up an 'Impeach Now' billboard outside of Mar-a-Lago source: 13newsnow.com \| share:	68
		Article including 'Florida Man' 'AR-15' and 'Road rage' in title strangely does not include phrase 'massacred in a hail of police gunfire' source: tampabay.com \| share:	111
		Florida Senate passes measure that adds gasoline in response to fire source: motherjones.com \| share:	108

Mon March 05, 2018
		Stay up late for the 50th launch of a Falcon 9, as SpaceX lofts a comms satellite from Florida. Launch scheduled for 12:30 am EST, 9:30 pm on the west coast. It's a heavy bird, so first-stage recovery is iffy source: spaceflightnow.com \| share:	120
		GOP official shared video claiming Florida school shooting never occurred source: rawstory.com \| share:	104
		Woman blows conch, then fiancee source: local10.com \| share:	41
		Only thoughts and prayers can save us from future mass shootings, says Florida state senator source: miamiherald.com \| share:	111

Sun March 04, 2018
		Deputy accused of forcing woman to expose her breasts source: usatoday.com \| share:	90

Sat March 03, 2018
		Florida highway patrol races a Lamborghini. Further evidence the police force needs more Italian supercars source: foxnews.com \| share:	51
		A ban has just been put in place to prevent the sale of AR-15 rifles in the State Of - aaaaaaaand it's gone source: nydailynews.com \| share:	446

Fri March 02, 2018
		Autistic man in Batman hat goes missing in Tampa. Police concerned if not found soon he will seize control of Florida GOP source: tampabay.com \| share:	28
		Florida House and Senate had no trouble approving $3M for NRA backed shooting range. And of course, 'NRA backed' means the public provide almost all of the funding source: tampabay.com \| share:	147
		Burmese python devours white-tailed deer that weighed more than the python itself, generates most Florida wildlife pics ever (Warning: Graphic images) source: fox43.com \| share:	49
		All In The Family reboot underway in Florida (possible nsfw content on page) source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	32
		There's our conservative man of principle source: politico.com \| share:	54
		White House: The President will be meeting with the video game industry next week to combat gun violence. Video Game Industry: Who to the what now? source: kotaku.com \| share:	167
		77-year-old Florida man died as he lived: Being towed on his bike by his 66-year-old fiancee in a pickup truck source: clickorlando.com \| share:	47
		If selling balloons filled with laughing gas underneath a bridge in Florida is wrong, I don't want to be right source: clickorlando.com \| share:	50

Thu March 01, 2018
		Ancient Indian Burial Ground discovered off coast of Florida, which explains a lot source: bbc.com \| share:	52
		Miami sorority suspended over hazing Facebook videos. For those of you who are still here, the Facebook page is gone source: local10.com \| share:	111
		Not to be outdone by Putin, Canadian Air Force bombs Miami source: miamiherald.com \| share:	57
		"My Bad Teacher" starring Jennifer Connelly source: nydailynews.com \| share:	202
		Archie Bunker predicted Trump's gun control plan back in 1972 you Meathead source: huffingtonpost.com \| share:	38
		Student pulling LeBron James stunt causes the evacuation of a building at the University of Central Florida source: nydailynews.com \| share:	6
		Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. Nudists at a Florida RV park on the other hand source: kgun9.com \| share:	46
		Scientists surprised to discover pink flamingos may actually be native Floridians after all source: miamiherald.com \| share:	10

Wed February 28, 2018
		The left scores a huge ideological win: Trump has been converted into a Gun Grabber... Congratulations source: thehill.com \| share:	156
		Florida woman shoots dog during argument over crack. No, not that crack. Or that one source: wftv.com \| share:	67
		Dicks gets a little bigger source: finance.yahoo.com \| share:	96
		Democrats score their 39th flip on their way to the parking lot source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	80
		Socially conscious businesses are fed up with FedEx: "We refuse to support companies who support the most dangerous organization in America" source: kjzz.org \| share:	191
		Because why wouldn't he carve swastikas into the rifles he used to kill 17 students and teachers? source: nydailynews.com \| share:	232
		Ferris wasn't the only person to attempt to roll back the mileage on a Ferrari source: jalopnik.com \| share:	41

Tue February 27, 2018
		Atlanta Braves: It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you wear your hat source: mlb.com \| share:	10
		Florida Man got nothing on Texas Woman, who craps her pants on purpose and then tries to hide her crack, pipe, and stolen Valentine card in it. With bonus "something smells" mugshot. Fark: arrested at H.E. Butts grocery store source: khou.com \| share:	60
		NRA: No. We couldn't possibly tell you which countries our illegal money comes from. Oh crap, I shouldn't have said countries. Oh crap. I definitely shouldn't have said it was illegal. sigh it's too peaceful today...fans self source: thinkprogress.org \| share:	70
		Wisconsin Sheriff believes it's better to suffer smoke inhalation and burns than to run outside during a fire alarm... because school shooters are out there waiting source: fox6now.com \| share:	108
		Trump said he'd have run into the Florida school without a weapon. Here's how he's actually acted in times of danger source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	123
		You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word. Unless you're this wigged-out stripper (with mugshot) source: actionnewsjax.com \| share:	24
		Who was Marjory Stoneman Douglas? A woman who would be proud of the students in the school named after her, if she had survived past her 108 years of age source: en.wikipedia.org \| share:	41

Mon February 26, 2018
		Republican lawmakers call for sheriff in the Parkland shooting to be suspended for "incompetence and neglect of duty." That's difficult, even by Florida standards source: motherjones.com \| share:	50
		Santorum goes down source: rawstory.com \| share:	81
		Florida man lives in the Jefferson Memorial source: tampabay.com \| share:	34
		Cadet Bone Spurs claims he would have run into the school shooting in Florida even without a gun source: thehill.com \| share:	275
		Florida Billionaire: "I will not give one cent to anyone who does not support major change regarding military-type weapons being sold" source: wlrn.org \| share:	501
		Wall Street Journal editor says arming teachers with guns isn't the answer. The answer is to give the teachers flash-bang grenades source: mediamatters.org \| share:	101
		Either Trump was stroking out during his speech at the Governor's Ball or he really, really likes imitating Andy Kaufman source: politicususa.com \| share:	119

Sun February 25, 2018
		Cypriot businessman living in Florida tries to use Panamanian police to eject the Trump Organization from his hotel. I only need one more for bingo source: sandiegouniontribune.com \| share:	12
		Those 3 other Broward County officers who didn't go in to stop the shooting have not been found. It's like they never existed except in a report by a competing police department source: abc30.com \| share:	348
		Corporations start dropping support for the NRA and you too can do your part to help: Tell Amazon, Roku, Apple, and Google to dump the NRA TV channel source: avclub.com \| share:	397

Fri February 23, 2018
		Former Miami Dolphins OL Jonathan Martin shows Florida what giant red sirens look like. Pokes FBI with a stick source: twitter.com \| share:	40
		Calling out a coward for not making a suicidal charge with his little gun against an assault rifle. It's not like he had bone spurs or something source: nypost.com \| share:	285
		'Teens are too young to make rational decisions,' says man who supported Roy Moore source: reductress.com \| share:	44
		Florida shooting survivor: "We should call AR-15s 'Marco Rubio' because they're both easy to buy." Oh. Snap source: thehill.com \| share:	490
		Enterprise, Alamo, and National car rentals no longer giving the NRA members a discount source: businessinsider.com \| share:	93
		Teen shot in Florida school shooting gets call from Donnie. She says, "I've never been so unimpressed by a person in my entire life". She's probably just one of those tragedy actors who takes several bullets just to make Trump look bad source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	143

Thu February 22, 2018
		It's time for another exciting round of NRA hate bingo source: theguardian.com \| share:	42
		A study based on the seven deadly sins shows yet again why Florida has it own 'Tag' source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	10
		Florida Gun and Knife Show in Fort Lauderdale scheduled for next month canceled for some reason source: sun-sentinel.com \| share:	15
		Better luck next time, fictional screaming mob trying to pummel Dana Loesch to death with clubs and shoes. *Has anyone checked her mental health records? source: rawstory.com \| share:	240
		After seeming to be coming around on the issue of guns, Trump is now firmly back on the NRA teat source: politico.com \| share:	140
		Audi is making cars that can 'talk' to toll booths. Hopefully not "Hey baby I'm packing 5.7 liters under this hood" source: foxnews.com \| share:	14
		The president sends out a tweet encouraging the Florida high school students to go forward with their movement, noting that great movements have often been started by young people source: twitter.com \| share:	168
		Florida Man likely to be disappointed to hear his escort showed up at 2:30 a.m. wearing see-through lingerie ... but went to the wrong house source: fox4now.com \| share:	112

Wed February 21, 2018
		Florida state house responds to school shooting by A: Hiring more armed guards? B: Passing more funding for better security? or C: Forcing schools to post "In God We Trust" signs? source: patheos.com \| share:	106
		Trump 'listening session' with students and parents of school shootings live right now on C-SPAN source: c-span.org \| share:	119
		PSA: Bringing a cell phone case that looks like a pistol onto a school campus is not a good idea, especially in Florida source: clickorlando.com \| share:	64
		What happens when a Trump supporter finds out they've been working for Russia the whole time? Exactly what you think happens source: money.cnn.com \| share:	189
		Florida teachers' union pension fund owns 40,000 shares in a company that manufactures AR-15's source: bloomberg.com \| share:	176
		Christ, what an unemployed a-hole source: nytimes.com \| share:	63
		Kentucky district flips from red to blue, making it the 37th to do so since Trump's inauguration source: thedailybeast.com \| share:	73
		Demented hate muppet Pat Robertson says gun control is sensible and WHAT DARK HELL ARE WE IN NOW source: rightwingwatch.org \| share:	31

Tue February 20, 2018
		Florida House says there is research that finds a connection between pornography use and mental and physical illnesses source: tampabay.com \| share:	90
		WWE reportedly changes the name of one of its wrestlers (Crews) because of the Parkland Florida shooter (Cruz) source: uproxx.com \| share:	20
		Woman who gave birth at Florida State Fair given lifetime pass. Which, considering State Fair food of deep-fried butter sticks, probably amounts to about four years source: tampabay.com \| share:	25
		Special Forces Commando leaders from around the world are converging on Florida. I think I've seen this movie already, Dolph Lundgren cuts a guy in half by clubbing him with a Doberman pinscher source: tampabay.com \| share:	53
		Once again, in an attempt to prove to us that there is no bottom or shame if your last name is Trump, Donny Jr. suggests one of the surviving kids from the Florida school massacre might be an FBI plant source: mediaite.com \| share:	160
		Buying Sudafed in Florida? We're gonna need to see a photo ID, log your name into the store database, and limit you to three packages. Buying an AR-15 in Florida? The express lane is over there source: cbsnews.com \| share:	201

Mon February 19, 2018
		Just finish rehab? Then it's time to celebrate with a 12 pack in your car with your child source: actionnewsjax.com \| share:	56
		The last person Trump talked to supports stronger background checks for gun purchases source: politico.com \| share:	155

Sun February 18, 2018
		Fat drug user takes on Parkland students source: rawstory.com \| share:	72
		Having solved all their issues with guns in school, the Florida Legislature moves to put "God" in schools source: nwfdailynews.com \| share:	120
		Ignoring calls for gun control, avoiding listening to victims of gun violence, and giving a thumbs-up while taking photos with first responders is hard work; that's why Trump had to go to a bacchanalian disco party at Mar-a-Lago last night source: mediaite.com \| share:	221
		Andrew Bauer [R-eally Loves NRA Money] says the answer to stopping school shootings is: A) Gun control; B) Arming teachers; C) Watching Andy Griffith reruns and beating children with paddles source: rawstory.com \| share:	188
		If only the FBI would stop wasting their time investigating Russia and me they could have stopped the Florida high school killer. Sad source: twitter.com \| share:	183

Sat February 17, 2018
		Here's how America's white nationalists trolled the media about the Florida Parkland shooter source: politico.com \| share:	55
		Here's a teddy bear made of raw chicken parts and that is entirely enough internet for now source: gizmodo.com \| share:	29
		Three Billboards Outside Miami, Florida source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	33
		Florida Man takes a stand source: miamiherald.com \| share:	77
		Florida republicans: You know what would be a good idea right now, weakening background checks for gun buyers in Florida source: rawstory.com \| share:	30

Fri February 16, 2018
		Florida Fire Chief caught faking two full time jobs. Also faked certifying "first responder" classes that he had faked teaching. Is known to spend considerable time working community outreach at a local establishment which employ mostly single moms source: tampabay.com \| share:	17
		And then there was one source: espn.com \| share:	18
		Winn-Dixie to see if the third time is indeed the charm in regards to bankruptcy filings source: businessinsider.com \| share:	13
		Florida School shooter was on a shooting team sponsored by who? The NRA source: apnews.com \| share:	239
		FBI goes into full CYA mode after Florida shooting source: fbi.gov \| share:	124
		New name for Jaguars' stadium: TIAA Bank Field, replacing EverBank Field, which replaced Jacksonville Municipal Stadium, which replaced Alltel. Nothing but pure excitement source: jacksonville.com \| share:	12
		Kansas congressional candidate defends decision to go ahead with AR-15 giveaway source: fox4kc.com \| share:	74
		4-foot iguana found in laundry room of Florida home, was just looking for his missing sock source: myfox8.com \| share:	37
		Accused South Florida school shooter confessed to rampage that killed 17 people. Not brown enough to be called a terrorist source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	169
		Apart from his allegiance to Donald Trump, it looks as if the Florida shooter may not have been affiliated with any particular white supremacy organization source: huffingtonpost.com \| share:	139
		Teen arrested for posting "I could beat that number" in reference to the Florida school shooting death toll source: journal-news.com \| share:	87

Thu February 15, 2018
		Mother of a slain Florida student screams at Trump live on camera and CNN's Brooke Baldwin completely breaks down in tears source: rawstory.com \| share:	189
		Deep thoughts with Fox & Friends and NRA A+ rated Florida Governor Rick Scott: How come no one has any ideas on how to prevent gun violence? (w/video) source: splinternews.com \| share:	107
		After yesterday's mass shooting, the U.S. has the distinction of "the most dangerous of wealthy nations for a child to be born into." Is America great again yet? source: nytimes.com \| share:	98
		Florida school shooter Cruz has been linked to a violent paramilitary extremist group, so I am sure his attack will be labeled as terrorism any second now....no, wait, it was a violent White Supremacist group, so it's back to being "random violence" source: yahoo.com \| share:	142
		Christian radio host: "God could have prevented this, if only He had known it was going to happen." God unavailable for comment for some inexplicable reason source: patheos.com \| share:	112
		Shepard Smith is the only one of Fox News to address the gun violence pandemic on air, winds up listing every single school shooting since Columbine source: politicususa.com \| share:	110
		Behold Alex Jones' tweet while the school shooting was going on yesterday source: rawstory.com \| share:	199
		As GOP members offer their "Thoughts & Prayers" to the Florida shooting victims on Twitter, Bess Kalb, writer for Jimmy Kimmel, responds with their received NRA donations in real time source: rawstory.com \| share:	166
		Alex Jones says the Florida high school shooting might be a false flag and Democrats are suspects in it source: mediamatters.org \| share:	174
		"Trump should stay quiet about [the shootings]; he'll only make things worse" source: politicususa.com \| share:	94

Wed February 14, 2018
		"Mayor offers bumps for humps" source: alt1023fm.iheart.com \| share:	24
		Look at me, I'm a NASCAR driver source: usatoday.com \| share:	22

Tue February 13, 2018
		The Miami Marlins will no longer race sea creatures. No word on if they will race Florida Man instead source: espn.com \| share:	13
		Florida Man calls, beats woman's 14 cattle eye worms with pork tapeworm in his eye that wants to eat his brain. Eye worm trifecta in play source: abcactionnews.com \| share:	66
		Looks like we will have a guaranteed supply of Florida Man stories for years to come source: csmonitor.com \| share:	35

Mon February 12, 2018
(Spooky News)		Video Game Company offers $50,000 for Proof of Monsters source: spookynews.net \| share:	31
		In the age-old battle between machete-wielding Florida Man and the police, there can be only one outcome source: tampabay.com \| share:	24
		Novel 'Doctor Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde' defense based on the effects of medical marijuana collapses into plea bargain, possibly due to the fact that it involved Florida Man taking drugs and turning into Florida Man source: tampabay.com \| share: