headlines found matching 'Ear' NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Tue May 17, 2022 |
| (Some Guy) |
|
KSP2 release delayed again, from "sometime in 2022" to "early 2023"
|
 |
|
Happening now: Congress holding first public hearing on UFOs in over 50 years. Pentagon officials are testifying before a House Intelligence Committee subcommittee about how the Defense Department is organizing reports of these mysterious objects. Good luck staying awake
|
 |
|
It's been twenty years since millions of voices cried out in anger and disbelief, "What is this crap?" and haven't been silent about it ever since
|
 |
|
OMG the new Kendrick Lamar song is his most controversial EVAR. Oh, wait, excuse? Oh, is it any good? LOL, no, it sucks balls. But didn't you hear me? IT'S CONTROVERSIAL
|
 |
|
Man with 9 wives and absolutely no sense of phrasing says it's "first come, first served" when it comes to who will bear his children
|
 |
|
Not content being NATO salesman of the Year, Vlad even got f*cking Switzerland to rethink their stance on neutrality
|
 |
|
If you have to take an entrance exam for the 26th time in 40 years to get into your dream school, maybe you should just admit that it's just a dream and move on
|
| Mon May 16, 2022 |
 |
|
George Lewis, now 75, worked for 40 years as a railroad Pullman porter and chef before he retired in 2017. His memories of traveling the country by train are rich with stories of serving presidents, celebrities and everyday people
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
42 years ago today, rookie center Magic Johnson scored 42 points, grabbed 15 rebounds and dished out 7 assists in game 6 of the NBA Finals, to clinch the title for the LA Lakers
|
 |
 |
Forgotten moments of medical research: Jesus Farking Christ published "Nerve Supply, Blood Supply and Cytology of the Neurohypophysis." Is there anything He can't do?
|
 |
|
Tonight on RAW: Lashley gets his wish of facing Omos in the one place MVP can't get involved....A STEEL CAGE. Or can he? A.J., Finn & Liv look for a way to stop Judgement Day. Maybe spin the earth backwards? See if that works at 8 PM ET on USA
|
 |
|
Deshaun Watson to meet with NFL investigators in Texas this week, new Browns teammates in the Bahamas this weekend. Unclear how many massage therapists they'll be bringing along
|
 |
|
What d'yall mean it's too early for first drafts of 2023 NFL mock draft??
|
 |
|
Uncle Ben, who famously opened up America's printing press to Wall Street for 8 straight years, has harsh words for the guy who basically continued his policies. "They should have acted sooner." Says the guy who started the fire
|
| |
|
Oil prices skyrocket. Not to worry, they will also crater. Not to worry, crater is up there on a meteor. Not to worry, meteor is hurtling towards earth, will end up cratering. Not to worry, the material kicked up from that crater will skyrocket
|
 |
|
The Toronto Maple Leafs have managed something no other professional sports franchise ever accomplished: losing a winner-take-all game, in the opening round of the playoffs. Five years in a row
|
 |
|
IT admin gets 7 year prison sentence for deliberately wiping company's servers. Has been seen last trying to turn his lawyer off and on again
|
| |
|
The villages near lake Tegernsee in Germany have long had a tradition of turning a blind eye to who the ultra-wealthy who own villas there are, just so long as their money, be it swastika-marked deutschmarks or blood-soaked Rubles, spends. Until now
|
| |
|
Bills keep the #1 spot post free agency, Panthers take over at #32, and everyone still thinks their team can do better than it will. It's YOUR ESPN way too early offseason rankings thread
|
| |
|
In his "manifesto," the Buffalo shooter cited "replacement theory," a racist idea first popularized in "The Turner Diaries" in the early '90s. So where could he have heard of it? Maybe he watched Fox News, or Tucker Carlson, or a GOP campaign commercial
|
| |
|
Day 16: I Heard the Depp/Heard defamation trial was Live again today
|
 |
|
From St. Louis to London, bars you don't want to be caught dead in
|
 |
|
You know, subby had a snarky, witty headline about taking photos in the Sistine Chapel, but he's too busy being distracted by the fact that he and Jason Momoa now appear to have similar body types. Hey ladies, how you doin'?
|
 |
|
Your Murdoch Post fallacy of the day: Netflix is failing because people are craving fear, hatred, and spiteful content
|
 |
|
Eyeglass maker Warby Parker says it didn't see those bad numbers in front of its face but promises things get clearer as the year comes in focus
|
 |
|
2023 Nissan Z first drive: 400hp twin-turbo V6 for $41K, not bad considering it's built on a 20 year old platform
|
 |
|
"Yes. But then again if you can pull off wearing a red cape and blue tights or a one-piece with a golden eagle across the bust and a gold lamé lasso you're already doing pretty well," subby typed while wearing the cape and lasso
|
 |
|
Maybe you HAVE heard about it before
|
 |
|
It took six years, but one of the couples from The Bachelorette worked out
|
| Sun May 15, 2022 |
 |
|
A seven-year old article that is wrong only insofar as it was just about school shootings
|
| |
|
Now we know why Chester Cheetah always wears shades
|
 |
|
Here's the current short list of cars & trucks available with a row-your-own-gears transmission which doubles as an anti-theft device
|
 |
|
Morgan and Alicia plot their next move as Strand continues fortifying his tower. The Stalkers continue looking for safety as Dwight and Sherry determine their next course of action. Remember the nukes? Fear the Walking Dead, 9PM ET on AMC
|
 |
|
Bernard Bigot, French scientist leading nuclear fusion project ITER, dies at 72. Funeral expected to be no more than twenty years from now
|
 |
|
Frustrated by the high gasoline prices? Look on the bright side, Saudi Arabia's oil company Aramco's profits were up 124 percent last year
|
| |
|
Your reptile friends may have been on Earth longer than we had previously thought
|
 |
|
Tolkien superfans invited to preview Amazon's new series set in Middle Earth give it rave reviews, which means be wary unless you are fascinated by the taxonomic history of different strains of pipeweed, or the derivation of the elvish word for bread
|
| |
|
Nothing says "simple man of the people" or "rugged outdoorsman" more than posing in clearly brand new hunting gear with a shotgun that is both almost bigger than you are, and costs more than the average person's car
|
 |
|
How to devalue if not invalidate your research: "Twitter study finds"
|
 |
|
Fifty years ago today, the US gave Okinawa back to Japan. Well, most of it
|
 |
|
80-year-old woman graduates from college decades after having to leave. Better late than never, we guess
|
| Sat May 14, 2022 |
 |
|
Headline: "Tech pioneer warns of alien invasion". Article: Researchers try to develop artifical general intelligence
|
| |
|
A short look back at what should have been the best action-comedy of the 90's, if only it weren't for a certain someone's potty-mouth at the MTV awards the year before. I give you - the Adventures of Ford Fairlane, Rock 'n Roll Detective
|
| |
|
You might want to sit down for this shocker, but it appears that the Las Vegas Raiders are not a well-run organization
|
| |
|
House abandoned for 60 years leaves clues about what life was like in the 1920s--wait, what?
|
 |
|
It's a thing of beauty, 3 Johnny Sex game 7s. Will it be a Bear attack or a Storm Surge? Will the Leafs end the 18 year drought or will Tampa keep the 3-peat dream alive? And the lame Oil Kings joke will end. Win or hit the links, game on @ 4:30pm ET
|
 |
|
Lorne Michaels warns SNL fans to prepare for a year of change
|
 |
|
Chinese police bravely arrest a 90-year-old man, a pop singer, and several other threats to the Communist party
|
 |
|
Bitcoin is down over 50% from November last year. This is bad news...for white supremacists
|
 |
|
Aurora Cannabis loses CAD $1 billion in the last quarter dealing in a substance that any fifteen year old can make money from by peddling it on the street
|
 |
|
Dyck went down, won't come up. I swear this has never happened to me before
|
 |
|
Police catch Catich. Not a repeat from 2021 when they had to catch Catich after he escaped from a police car and was found five counties away still handcuffed. But what happened to the disappearing handgun?
|
| Fri May 13, 2022 |
| |
|
"Wonder Years" gets a sophomore year, "Home Economics" gets a new lease, "A Million Little Things" gets one more thing, and "Big Sky" sees bright skies ahead as ABC renews shows for next season
|
 |
|
Yo dawg, I heard an armed society is a polite society, so I put a road rage shooting in your freeway shooting investigation
|
| |
|
What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area
|
| |
 |
What was the class song voted in when you graduated high school? for me it was Learning to Fly by Pink Floyd which was not entirely why I dropped out but it was part of it
|
 |
|
I didn't have change for cab fare I lost my tux at the cleaners I locked my keys in the car An old friend came in from out of town Someone stole my car There was an earthquake A terrible flood Locusts IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD
|
 |
|
Pearl Jam's drummer got COVID so the band had former RHCP guitarist Josh Klinghoffer play drums. Bonus: a fan came onstage to drum for the traditional "Yellow Ledbetter" encore
|
 |
|
Yo Dawg. Heard you like Teslas so here is a Tesla crashing into your Tesla at a Tesla charging station. Shocking
|
 |
|
Jack Russell Terrier rescued after getting stuck chasing groundhog has not learned his lesson
|
 |
|
Vogue Magazine threatens to sue 200-year-old pub in the UK for daring to have the name of the village where it's located in its name
|
 |
|
Conan is still crushing his enemies, driving them before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women at 40
|
 |
|
'Secret doorway' found on Mars, no word on if there are aliens wearing a helmet and a skirt living in it
|
| |
|
Large asteroid expected to come close to Earth this weekend. Scientists say the size is comparable to two football pitches, a tall skyscraper or your mom
|
 |
|
The 63-year-old driver stopped after he noticed that the boy's mother was running alongside the bus trying to get it to stop. The 7 yo kid he was dragging, not so much
|
| |
|
PitchCom, a device designed at catching MLB's would-be sign stealers, is slowly stealing the hearts of people who were skeptical that it would do the job
|
 |
|
Off-duty police officer put his knee on the neck of a 12-year-old girl. You better believe some criminal charges are coming... to the 12-year-girl
|
 |
|
GOES-18 takes its first full images of Earth and other goodies. Images seem to show that the Earth is round -- or at least that is what Big Weather wants you to believe for Reasons™
|
 |
|
Why Friday the 13th is the most feared day of the year ...besides hangover Monday which is feared every week of the year
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
If you learn a favorite brand is the largest funder of a nutjob's primary campaign, but they're in the party you dislike and in another state... you buy even more, right?
|
 |
|
"That MAGA creep can campaign, man." "Yeah...but he's a pervert, Dude. No; he's a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight-year-old. He had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast"
|
 |
|
Sovereign citizens appear to be doing a bit of stylish, if still kooky, rebranding
|
 |
|
Meanwhile, in India someone is suing their son for not providing grandchildren fast enough. Coming soon to an Arkansas or Missouri near you
|
| Thu May 12, 2022 |
 |
|
There won't be a Triple Crown this year in horse racing now
|
| |
|
New research reveals HEY LOOK OVER THERE
|
 |
|
U.S. Army soldier killed by bear during training exercise in Alaska. Since when are bears allowed to enlist? What are we training them to do?
|
| |
|
It's not every year you see a PDS(Particularly Dangerous Situation) Severe Thunderstorm Watch. Derecho just blew through Sioux Falls, SD with 100+ mph winds
|
 |
|
With Finland and Sweden close to joining NATO, Austria still remains committed to its neutrality, relying on drop bears for defense
|
| (Mushroomhead) |
|
Two Iowa men found nearly 200 lbs. of morels. Subby thinks they must be fun guys to be with
|
 |
 |
Siemens to pull out of Russia after nearly 170 years
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Good news: Researchers think they've discovered what causes SIDS. Bad news: No one wants to volunteer their kids for double blind study
|
| |
|
Either the US is preparing "just in case' we go to war with Russia, or they think Canada might get uppity in the near future. Army to replace Stryker brigade in Alaska with a lighter mobile infantry force capable of "extreme cold weather operations"
|
 |
|
Dr. Jane Goodall, primatologist, anthropologist and underwear spokesperson. Wait, what was that last one?
|
| |
|
The latest from the not newsworthy courtroom shiatshow is that Amber Heard tried to taint the jury with rumors. Heh. Taint
|
 |
|
Subby just forgaged and found some morel mushrooms after being skunked for two years. Internet recipes to the left, your take to the right
|
 |
|
In a clear effort to contain Best Korea's *first* case of covid, Lil Kimmy attacks the ocean three more times
|
 |
|
200-year-old Michigan-Indiana border dispute might finally be settled. Both sides currently stuck on "No, you take it"
|
| |
|
With a history of unqualified successes to support the strategy, Russia once again threatens global thermonuclear war
|
 |
|
Eurovision moves on with the second semifinal and no Russian influences this year. Will Sweden hold you closer? Or will San Marino grab you by the Magic Mike? 3pm EDT Peacock/streaming global
|
 |
|
The Merriam-Webster word of the day for May 12 is 'bloviate' as in: "Campbell Soup's early attempts at marketing a cocaine-based vegetable juice drink failed even in spite of the successful catch phrase 'I coulda had a bloviate'"
|
 |
|
Nuclear fusion happens during the Big Bang and also in stars, but oh, those two things aren't the same
|
 |
|
Today's 2-hour serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from The Sound, The Psychedelic Furs, Divinyls, and more. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #342. Starts @ 1:00 PM ET, LGT streaming options
|
 |
|
Dubai Airport sees busiest quarter in two years, still not as crowded or hot as Atlanta
|
| |
|
Victims of last year's Surfside condo collapse reach settlement for one BILLION dollars. Damn. Now I want my condo to collapse
|
| |
|
Vicky White was employee of the year again. Doing it again next year will take some braaaaaains
|
| |
|
When you have to wait 1 year for a new dishwasher
|
| |
|
San Diego Padres manager Bob Melvin has prostate surgery, tells people don't fear the finger
|
| |
|
Charles Darwin had a Lion Theory. No word on if there are Tiger and Bear theories, oh my
|
 |
|
Trumper judge rules that the rights of under-21-year olds to buy semi-auto firearms SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED
|
| |
|
You've probably never heard of the country Transnistria, but here's why it's likely to be Russia's next target for invasion. Better warm up their tractors
|
 |
|
New Barbie dolls are diversifying by including a doll with a hearing aid and a Ken doll with vitiligo
|
| |
|
"No diet I eat double portions, of course...I love pasta and potatoes. But whatever is on the table, I eat it....I prefer the French wine and the Belgian beer." Fark god or 71-year-old record marathoner? Why not both?
|
| |
|
Having a big mama can break your heart. No, literally
|
| |
|
It appears the Q in QAnon is actually a hammer and sickle
|
| |
|
Earth's richest human praises the Chinese and says Americans are 'trying to avoid' work. Okay we get it. So far no one wants the job being your personal ball washer
|
 |
|
Man thinks not wearing shoes or a shirt means you don't have to pay for your beer, but at least he was wearing a mask
|
 |
|
Christian Yelich becomes only the fifth player in MLB history to hit for the cycle three times, aaaaand here comes Vinny from Queens on WFAN to insist it's just as cooll that the Mets had a combined cycle this one time last year
|
| Wed May 11, 2022 |
 |
|
Patti Lupone, star of Broadway musical comedy "Company", would like to remind you that the audience must wear a mask while in the theater
|
 |
|
The Onion's Exclusive Interview With North Carolina Representative Madison Cawthorn
|
 |
|
Today I learned Google's president of commerce and payments is named Bill Ready. Name checks out
|
| |
|
Why does earth have so much Helium-3? Let me take a hit from this balloon before I answer. [silly voice]: I don't know, but nuclear fusion power is now only a few decades away
|
 |
|
"I have never seen anything like this in my 15 years with law enforcement, anyway we will arrest the stepmother now and then arrest the dad next week because we can't be assed to get a placement for these kids" Subby may have paraphrased a bit
|
| |
|
Don't fear the driverless cars, citizen
|
 |
|
Remember that story a week or so back about the two women who were refugees from Yugoslavia two decades back, who have been searching for a Minnesota stranger they met on the plane who gave them money and hope? Well here's some good news
|
 |
|
Researchers at Harvard would like to remind us that Duke sucks
|
| |
|
Prince Albert is paying his wife $12 million a year to stay with him, help him develop more "in a can" jokes
|
| |
|
Expect to hear a lot of White Nationalist "Great Replacement Theory" from Republicans in upcoming US Senate races
|
 |
|
Parent of the year finds a theft-proof parking spot
|
| |
|
Today's 2-hr serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from Aztec Camera, Roxy Music, Original Mirrors, and The Dream Syndicate. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #341. Starts @ 1:00 PM ET, LGT streaming options
|
| |
|
There's only one group on Earth who can stop Elon Musk: Twitter employees. Welp, we're boned
|
| |
|
Never fear, Rally Rat is here
|
 |
|
In a bid to cut down on drunken tourists "All inclusive" holidays on Spain's Balearic Islands will now limit alcoholic drinks to six per day, 3 for lunch and 3 for dinner. So that's a BYOB breakfast then
|
 |
|
I get wanting your kids to be athletic but having your six-year-old run a 26.2 mile marathon seems a bit much
|
| |
|
Putin's current dilemma was JFK's worst fear. Wait, JFK was planning on invading Ukraine? That bastard
|
| |
|
Banana spots are producing some appeeling food waste research
|
| |
|
Blyatzkrieg Day 77: Ukraine counter attacks near Kharkiv reach the enemy border, Lukashenko escalates rhetoric from "NATO doodieheads" to "NATO big doodieheads," Orcs consolidate in Mariupol and elsewhere in the south. It's the Wednesday War Thread
|
| |
|
Testicular tissue frozen for 20 years found to be still viable. That's just craz- um, nuts
|
 |
|
Fei Long, we hardly picked ye as a Street Fighter character, as the kin of Bruce Lee begin removing characters bearing resemblance or mocking him. Mortal Kombat's Liu Kang, Tekken's Marshall Law and Fatal Fury's Cheng Sinzan look nervous
|
 |
|
"Donald Sutherland as the Clumsy Waiter"
|
| |
|
Very Important Man Ron DeSanitize takes time to interact with high school students...... by removing pictures from school yearbooks
|
 |
|
The biggest living thing on Earth is being nibbled to death. Subby needs to go check on his mother
|
| (BuzzerBlog) |
 |
1984: Michael Larson figured out the Press Your Luck board an hacked the game, and everybody knew he did it. 2022: Video sleuths figure out that someone did the same thing on Classic Concentration a few years later
|
| Tue May 10, 2022 |
| |
|
Ninja bear
|
| |
|
Mets decide to Mets earlier than usual this year. Place DeGrom on 60-day IL
|
| |
|
Wayne's World and Austin Powers were, oh, about a hundred years ago or so. Stay tuned around 2035 when Mike Myers dons a dozen costumes for his next regularly scheduled flop
|
| |
|
Putin is banking on Western powers to lose interest as his war drags on. Well, it makes sense, since Afghanistan demonstrated that we here in the US do give up and go home after twenty years or so
|
 |
|
No Superman & Lois. 2-hour season finale of Naomi. 1ˢᵗ, visions from Earth-29 get her to seek advice, receive a gift, & go on a road trip in Ep.№12 "Ready or Not" at 8 ㏘ EDT Then the Battle w/the Big Bad in Ep.№13 in "Who Am I?" at 9, both on The CW
|
 |
|
Fifth earthquake in 24 hours recorded in South Carolina. Tens of dollars in damages reported
|
| |
|
British government: Hey, there aren't any big problems in international affairs right now, so let's tear up the Northern Ireland protocol
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
You were not put on this Earth to get it, Mr Burton, but James Hong was put on this Earth to get a star on the Walk of Fame
|
 |
|
Clearview AI promises not to sell its face-recognition database to most US businesses, probably because it already sold to everyone who could have wanted it *pinky swear*
|
| |
|
"Recalculating route" is now the second most dreaded sound a Russian solider can hear, aside from the low rumble of a tractor in the distance
|
| |
|
What games are you looking forward to this year? I have my eye on Saint's Row 5 on Aug 23rd and Sniper Elite 5 this month on the 26th
|
 |
|
Brightline train gives away its 63rd free ride in five years
|
| |
|
Today's 2-hr serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from Gary Numan, The Dream Academy, and Joy Division. No not those songs. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #340. Starts @ 1:00 PM ET, LGT streaming options
|
| |
|
Don't look now but Sega Genesis may have opened the door to new cancer treatments. Give those researchers a gold ring
|
| (Some Data) |
|
Those "non-COVID" excess deaths that were 21 times higher in some counties last year? Mostly just routine freedom overdoses
|
 |
|
14 year old gets pregnant at the zoo
|
 |
|
What if - and hear subby out - what if Bob and Doug McKenzie were smart?
|
 |
|
FOX Sports learned its lesson after years of complaints about their Buck-Aikman pairing, chooses universally loved and respected man to fill role of lead analyst for NFL games in the near future. OK, not-so-near future. Within the decade, perhaps
|
| |
|
It took getting hacked by an NFT bot and losing control of her Twitter account to help this young writer learn that her Twitter account had no actual value or purpose in the first place. Folks, I think we've found our intervention
|
 |
|
In wake of Supreme Court leak neonatologist speaks out about what happens when a baby is born 5 months early. TL; DR: Survivors of the infant intensive care have a great career ahead of them...as Fark Politics tab contributors
|
 |
|
Add clear air lightning to list of state's fatal attractions. (w/video explosion goodness)
|
| |
|
Trying to murder Congress is a-OK, but women using salty language over the loss basic human rights? Off to the pearl-clutching suite for Little Lord Tucker
|
 |
|
If you find Sylvester the Cat shaking in fear and babbling incoherently about a giant rat, please contact the Detroit Zoo
|
| Mon May 09, 2022 |
| |
|
Ron DerpSantis criticizes kids wearing Che Guevara T-shirts. He's also pissed about Crystal Pepsi, the Buttafuoco saga, and not being able to find a blank VHS to tape 90210
|
 |
|
Study says frequent marijuana use may result in heart disease. 89yr old Willie Nelson, 50yr old Snoop Dogg: "Hold our beer.....errrr....hold our joint"
|
 |
|
101 years ago today Sophie Scholl was born. She was best known for her littering campaign, not because she could see and hear. She also never flew a plane or won a hide-and-seek championship
|
 |
|
Wildfire burning near old helium plant. Firefighting crews said to have moved into high pitch
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
While the sailors on the first US nuclear submarine may have had brass balls, their propeller's balls were made of wood
|
 |
|
Burglary suspect "in his underwear" dies in horse trailer fire. See, that's the problem with hot Jockeys
|
| |
|
This will come as no shock to anyone who has the read the comments section of a website recently but, human brains have been steadily shrinking over the last 3,000 years or so
|
 |
|
As more companies mandate a return to the office, employees are having to deal with a variety of stressors that they haven't had for two years such as long commutes, child care, and remembering that their co-workers are a bunch of farking morons
|
 |
|
They all now believe that the Bible teaches that life begins at conception. That's what they believed 10 years ago, and that's what they believed 20 years ago. But it wasn't what they believed 30 years ago
|
 |
|
Elon Musk fears for his life and shared a threatening note from the head of the Russian Space Agency over his support of Ukraine
|
 |
|
Zodiac Killer also thinks his beard looks good, and that he'll be president one day
|
| |
|
Jan. 6 defendant Samsel's condition, according to jail doctor, appears to be "breast development due to hormonal stimulation," possibly from the use of steroids
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
It is good to stay active as we age, but perhaps bank robbery is not a good hobby for an 83 year old woman, especially when she has to walk from the robbery
|
 |
|
So does this also include those cartoons where Bugs Bunny wears a dress?
|
 |
|
Peter Thiel's massive intelligence company Palantir has lost nearly 90% of its value in the past 18 months. Perhaps they should have seen this coming
|
 |
|
"The office as we know it is over." Well yeah, it went off the air nine years ago
|
| |
|
Uber's CEO would like you to know it's now a "privilege" for you to use your own vehicle and wear-and-tear as a taxi for his profit
|
| |
|
Twenty-five years ago today, Bruce Willis was working as a taxi driver while Milla Jovovich used a multipass to get around. And Chris Tucker was the most annoying passenger ever
|
| |
|
The rocket in the mirror is closer than it appears
|
 |
|
Now this is how you create a yearbook for a school for the blind
|
| |
|
8 miners are missing after an accident in Burkina Faso. Managers of the mine insist that they be allowed to leave the country. Would you believe they planned the trip *months* ago? What about they only get so many days of vacation every year?
|
| |
|
Best troll or stupidest person, unclear
|
| Sun May 08, 2022 |
| |
|
Brave and selfless Ukrainian rescues two wounded men in the street, taking them on a wild ride through the Donetsk region. Russian troops open fire on the car, lodging bullets into the hero's legs. Undeterred, they make it to the hospital. She is a 15-year-old girl
|
| |
|
Police report fire at anti-abortion organization Wisconsin Family Action office was arson. Also, spray-painted, clearly legible cursive message on exterior wall, "If abortions aren't safe, then you aren't either," was vandalism
|
| |
|
Video games of the past decade that were hyped then forgotten as they failed one way or another. Uh, Farkers bring up Civilization: Beyond Earth every other Friday or in comments about articles on Alpha Centauri
|
| |
|
"Honest. I ran out of gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. ... There was an earthquake. .... It wasn't my fault. I swear to god"
|
| |
|
Strand's paranoia worsens as more irradiated walkers are released into the pit. Is the ivory tower about to be overrun by the undead? And who stole Baby Mo? John Dorie Sr. tries to be a beacon of sanity. Fear the Walking Dead, 9PM ET on AMC
|
| |
|
Thag learn hard way that "quirkiness" is not a legal defense. Thag get 18 months in pokey. Thag sad
|
| |
|
Hey hey hey, no pic-a-nic basket for you guys. You're not even bears anyway
|
| |
|
For a thousand light-years in all directions, there's a "bubble" that the Sun sits at the center of. What a wild story
|
| |
|
Gym Jordan is upset that the FBI may revoke the security clearances of January 6 terrorists
|
| |
|
Dr. Jill Biden visits Romania on Mother's Day, hears horror stories about Mother Russia
|
 |
|
It's Throwback Weekend, as the NASCAR Cup Series heads to Darlington for the Goodyear 400. There's guaranteed to be more passing in this race, which should put some butts in the seats, despite being on FS1 at 3 PM ET
|
| |
|
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness is #1 with $190 million despite the pandemic. The Bad Guys is #2 with $10 million, Sonic the Hedgehog 2 #3 with $6.6 million asUnbearable Weight of Massive Talent slips to #8 with $1.6 million
|
| |
|
China plans to completely crash their economy in two years
|
| |
|
Day 74 of WWIII: Dozens feared dead after Russian bomb hits school, Ukrainian troops battle to regain Kharkiv region, civilians now out of Azovstal plant in Mariupol. It's your Sunday Ukrainian War thread
|
 |
|
Former White Sox player and manager Robin Ventura earns degree from OSU, presumably majoring in getting his ass kicked by Nolan Ryan
|
| |
|
What's that? We're coming up on a year since Gabby Petito was murdered? Well, hell. THERE'S MONEY TO BE MADE, BOYS
|
 |
|
Apple's Director of Machine Learning, Ian Goodfellow, announces his resignation to protest return-to-office initiative, will presumably stay home with his shinebox
|
| Sat May 07, 2022 |
| |
|
It's been two years since some guy moved from Florida to an abandoned silver mining town in California. Come take a tour of the ghost town called Fat Hill
|
| |
|
Having grown weary of infuriating the left, Elon Musk decides to infuriate the right as well
|
| |
|
7-year-old chugs blood of Christ at her first communion. God be with her
|
 |
|
Pro-tip: Your skills in games doesn't always translate to real-world, as a Russian 'war games world champion' tank driver has learned
|
 |
|
Saturday Night MMA: UFC 274, Charles Oliveira vs Justin Gaethje, Rose Namajunas vs Carla Esparza, Michael Chandler vs Tony Ferguson. Early prelims at 5:30 PM ET on ESPN+, TV prelims at 8 PM ET on ESPN and ESPN+, PPV main card at 10 PM ET
|
 |
|
Police search for missing teen for 4 years to no avail. YouTubers take up the search and find him in 20 minutes
|
 |
|
Gov. Abbott's border security inspection campaign stunt is STILL costing Texans and the nation, with losses estimates in the billions of dollars. Some produce companies may not make a profit for years, either. All that for ZERO drugs seized
|
 |
|
Can you outrun a 6-year-old?
|
 |
|
After three years, it's back: Free Comic Book Day. Support your local Comic Book Guy after the Worst Pandemic Ever
|
| |
|
Crowdfunded game Star Citizen is now modeling bedsheet deformation physics. Unclear if release will include fanboys' crunchy sheets
|
 |
|
"These students are special. They have big hearts, and they are giving it all to these kittens." Welcome to Caturday
|
| |
|
1982 changed movies forever with Blade Runner, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Star Trek II: the Wrath of Khan, The Thing, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, An Officer and a Gentleman, Poltergeist, Conan the Barbarian, The Dark Crystal, First Blood. And E.T.
|
| Fri May 06, 2022 |
| |
|
Drinking certain types of tea may cut your risk of dementia, heart disease and cancer. Sweet
|
 |
|
Ukrainians DDOS critical Russian vodka distribution center. I guess they really do want nuclear war
|
| |
|
Denver firefighter sees his work schedule extinguished after putting a stuffed rat near a witness's bunk
|
 |
|
Raiders fire team president, an 18 year veteran of their front office. Two sentence non-statement to the left, wild speculation to the right
|
 |
|
Researchers release 'best photograph of a UFO ever taken' of a grainy kitchen saucer flying over remote lake (possible nsfw content on page)
|
 |
|
19-year-old drowns during BBQ outing due to using way too much sauce
|
 |
|
Twenty years after its unlikely rise into the zeitgeist, PBR remains in list of Top 20 beers in America. And in your fridge. And in your heart
|
| |
|
Figure Four Friday gets an early bird special due to Johnny Sex Cup: First on Rampage, Lethal vs Takeshiata, HOOK vs Drake. Then on Smackdown, Kofi & Xavier vs Ridge & Sheamus in a tables match. It all starts at 5:30 PM ET on TNT, then 8 PM ET on FOX
|
 |
|
2022 will be remembered as the year of a new Dred Scott decision, this one legally defining women as second class citizens
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Come join TFarker and professional narrator Cyclometh as he reads short fiction, live into your earholes at Noon Pacific, 3 PM Eastern. It's almost Mother's Day so this month we have a poem and two short stories about moms for you. More DIT
|
| |
|
Plot thickens around a fatal plane crash in the outback of Canada now that people have learned that two of the passengers had connections to the mob and were fleeing murder and conspiracy charges. Subby 'hmmmmms' himself
|
| |
|
Seven lies the Right keeps telling about abortion, corrected. Subby will add an eighth: You don't actually have to get all ten abortions during the same year to get the 11th one free at the Abortionplex
|
| |
|
In his first public appearance since the leak, John Roberts stresses that "one bad apple" would not change "people's perception" of SCOTUS, mainly because most people had already long seen it as a completely illegitimate, partisan institution
|
| |
|
TFW you read something that clearly signals your own obsolescence: "a lotta yall still dont get it ape holders can use multiple slurp juices on a single ape so if you have 1 astro ape and 3 slurp juices you can create 3 new apes"
|
 |
|
'Hit of the year': Shirtless rugby streaker absolutely flattened by security guard
|
| |
|
It only took twenty-five years but if you have a N64, a copy of GoldenEye 007, and $10,000, you can play multiplayer as it should be
|
 |
|
Pig virus may have been factor in historic heart transplant patient's death. Howard Stern tried to warn us
|
| |
|
A popular program for teaching kids to read good and learn good and other stuff good too just took another hit to its credibility good
|
| |
|
GOP senators demand TV warning labels for LGBTQ+ content, presumably to warn parents of any upcoming appearance by Madison Cawthorn
|
| |
|
James Earl Jones was only paid $7000 for his role in Star Wars, and he thought that was good money. If he only knew the power of the Dark Side
|
| |
|
The Love Boat premiered on this date 47 years ago. Here's a run down of just about everyone who was ever on this exciting and new cruise
|
| |
|
A thirty year store employee stopping a shoplifter from absconding with alcohol at a Kroger's? That's a firin'. Why, yes, she is suing
|
| Thu May 05, 2022 |
 |
|
New art exhibit projects Van Gogh's paintings onto the walls and floors so visitors can "step inside" the mind of the artist. Looks kind of ear-ie
|
| |
|
Bank of England hikes interest rates to 13-year high saying they'd rather be point-wise than pound-foolish
|
| |
|
1000 year-old cave figures discovered in Alabama. But enough about Mo Brooks
|
| |
|
AI cavity searches are coming to drill you right in your hole
|
| |
|
Yet another reason why you shouldn't mess with Treebeard or Groot
|
 |
|
Raiders still haven't changed the tires from the Gruden years. Goodyears? No, the worst
|
| |
|
Who among Mitch, Mason, and Kenny will strike the most fear among AFC North defenses?
|
| |
|
Oh, nothing. Just Russia practicing NUCLEAR CAPABLE STRIKES. It's not like there's a war going on or anything
|
| |
|
Shopify stock drops after earnings look like they came from Wish
|
| |
|
DeppWatch Live Day 15: I Heard Amber has lots of stuff to say
|
 |
|
Would you wait years, even decades for a Kobe beef croquette? Apparently people that go to this Japanese butcher shop will for the legendary delectables
|
 |
|
Former SEAL sets fastest known time on Mount Hood round trip, climbing and skiing 5,254 vertical feet in just one hour and thirty-one minutes. Wearing nothing but skis and shorts
|
| |
|
Today's 2-hour serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from OMD, Eurythmics, Love & Rockets, and +++CARRIER LOST+++. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #339. Starts @ 1:00 PM ET, LGT streaming options
|
| |
|
Four more D.C. restaurants earn a coveted Michelin star rating. Although why anybody would be excited about eating in a restaurant known for its tires is a mystery to subby
|
| |
|
Some people have life goals that can serve as an inspiration to us all. Then there's this guy
|
| |
|
Coyotes losing fear of humans, anvils, say reports (possible nsfw content on page)
|
 |
|
Matt Gaetz likes his wimmin like he likes his whiskey - 14 years old and mixed up with coke
|
 |
|
For 2 million years, humans were bigger than you, they were higher than you on the food chain. So get in their bellies
|
 |
|
In Texas those immigrants don't need all that learning from them teaching ladies
|
| |
|
Cowboys owner Jerry Jones involved in a "minor car accident." Unclear how many minors were killed, injured
|
 |
|
If you were ever hoping to visit the locations where they filmed the Endor scenes from RoTJ, I have some bad news. It's all been cleared away because everyone needs a Thneed
|
| |
|
Here's another first for TB12. This year, Tom Brady will become the first quarterback to start in four different countries
|
| Wed May 04, 2022 |
| |
|
Masha is now safe in Romania after a 280 mile ride out of Ukraine with three guys. Oh, and Masha is a bear
|
 |
|
What was the point of wearing a knotted cord of cloth around our necks anyway?
|
| |
|
A burr under their saddle since "Sandy", the city of Hoboken, NJ is finally clearing wrecked and abandoned boats from Weehawken Cove
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop your both ears
|
| (Live for Live Music) |
|
52 years ago today, Neil Young was moved to write a song. Here are 10 great covers of it
|
 |
|
"To be, or not to be -- that is the query. Inquiry? Hypothesis? Interrogation? Fark it, we'll do it live." William Shakespeare, possibly. This is your Fark Writer's Thread in Five Acts
|
| |
|
After spending 30 years in a FL prison for a murder he did not commit, Thomas Raynard James speaks out, and shockingly it is not a 60-minute uninterrupted stream of expletives beginning with "You stupid, stupid motherfarkers, I TOLD you it wasn't me"
|
| |
|
Kim Kardashian wears Marilyn's iconic vintage "Happy Birthday" dress that she borrowed from museum to Met Gala. Later that night, she plans to have sex with Pete Davidson wearing Neil Armstrong's spacesuit on the chair that Lincoln was shot in
|
 |
|
NASA: We need a rocket that can sent 865kg of humans and gear to the moon. Also NASA: SpaceX's Starship should do the job. SpaceX Engineer: And what about its other 99 tons of payload capacity?
|
| |
|
The Bear left his home and belligerently invaded another land before getting sent home
|
| |
|
Anyone care to hear Piers Morgan's opinion on abortion? How about the Piers Morgan of Presidents' opinion on abortion?
|
| |
|
Day 14 of live Depp/Heard trial shennanigans
|
| |
|
Today's 2-hour serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from The Lightning Seeds, Nick Cave, Julian Cope, and more. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #338. Starts @ 1:00 PM ET, LGT streaming options
|
 |
|
2022, the Year of the Buffalo Sauce
|
 |
|
Your grandpa's favorite TV channel is 40 years old
|
| |
|
"I watched as the Sheep broke the sixth seal, and there was a great earthquake. The sun became as dark as black cloth, and the moon became as red as blood." Okay, who's the idiot who woke up the Sheeple?
|
 |
|
'The Dutch have a bedroom window open for fresh air, even in winter,' says Japanese expat who has apparently never heard of a Dutch oven
|
| |
|
It's possible that there was no life on Mars... until Earth contaminated it
|
| |
|
NASA is planning on bringing rocks from Mars back to Earth, but what if there are little Martians living on those rocks? Could they form a little army with little ray guns and conquer a tiny little empire? We need top men on this. TOP men
|
| |
|
Ten years ago, MCA passed the mic. RIP Adam Yauch who can't, won't, and never will stop
|
 |
|
Ten years ago today, the Avengers assembled for the first time. Hawkeye was there too
|
| |
|
Headline: Jury says that murderer must pay $15 million to the family of murder victim. Last sentence: "He suggested that Yeardley's family may collect one-third of Huguely's earnings, which amounts to 18 cents of his 55-cent wage from prison work"
|
 |
|
Dear Deidre, how is one to consummate one's marriage when your wife tells you she's got genital herpes on your wedding night? Signed - flaccid
|
| Tue May 03, 2022 |
 |
|
"He's unfixable, he's unredeemable, he's unsalvageable." But enough about Skip Bayless; let's hear what he has to say about James Harden instead
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Seattle skyscraper falcon pair exhibiting behavior indicative of imminent egg hatching. Last year they fledged four babies
|
| |
|
It's DC super-teen troubles night on The CW. First, Superman & Lois S.№2 Ep.№11 "Truth and Consequences" pits Bizarro Jon-El vs. his Earth-prime counterpart Jonathan and Jordan at 8 ㏘ EDT. Then, Naomi faces the "Worst Prom Ever" on Ep.№11 at 9
|
 |
|
Today is National Paranormal Day, so let's hear your stories of the supernatural, the inexplicable, and the ineffable. Of course, please remember that if 'ineffable' is an adjective you identify with, keep it to yourself
|
| |
|
Johnny Sex Cup Playoffs: Day 2. New York Margot Robbies v. Boston Penguins, Putin's Shill v. Pretty Kitties, Perds v. Nordiques, & Canada's Texas v. America's Texas. Game on @ 7pm ET, goonjuice consumption starting far earlier. Ferme la bouche, Bucci
|
 |
|
On the dresser sits a frame with a photograph of two little girls in ponytails some 21 years back. She left one night with just a nod was lost from some back alley job. I close my eyes and Sally's pigeons fly never seeing her again. The 7 p.m. ET MSNBC
|
 |
|
Fox News: Mitch McConnell's personal net worth increases by $50,000,000 over forty years in office. Yay Capitalism. Also Fox News: Where did Stacey Abrams steal her money from? Does she have a receipt for that?
|
| |
|
The ships are four years late, £300 million over budget, the government has lost contract paperwork and the windows are painted onto the bridge to make it look nearer completion
|
| |
|
We're stuck dealing with thousands of years of ancient trash. Why should our descendants have it any easier?
|
| |
|
Ten years after Gangnam Style, pioneering K-pop star PSY comes back with new album and Western-themed music video costarring rapper of current K-pop star BTS
|
| |
|
Deviously impish smile meme girl dies at 16 years old
|
 |
|
"Was that an earthquake?" "Nope, just Garth Brooks fans"
|
| |
|
In an almost made for Fark appearance, Alton Brown appeared on The Late Night with Stephen Colbert to jet fry chicken wings
|
 |
|
While you were using the pandemic lockdown to clear a Netflix queue, this high schooler invented a low cost prosthetic arm controlled by brain waves
|
| |
|
The universe could collapse in just 100 million years? All right, let's do it. Let's process some quintessence. Come on. Go, now. That's why I'm clapping
|
| |
|
Your mountain of student debt is not only soul-crushing, it can be heart-breaking
|
| |
|
Today's 2-hour serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave includes music from Gang Of Four, Danielle Dax, The Lords Of The New Church, and more. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #337. Starts @ 1:00 PM ET, LGT streaming options
|
| |
|
A couple renovating a 150-year-old house have made a surprising discovery, and now they can credibly claim that the house has 'good bones'
|
| |
|
I is catdog, hear me ruff
|
| |
|
Good: "nearly risk-free" I-bonds paying a record 9.62%. Fark: inflation's now 8.5%
|
| |
|
What is it with all these House Republicans being scared to appear in front of the January 6 committee? It's almost like they have something to hide
|
| |
|
Tis the Gathering of the Narcissists a/k/a the Met Gala. Gather round, ye uncultured ones, and learn how your betters live their best lives
|
| |
|
Nothing to see here, just Vladimir Putin's "Doomsday" command plane for nuclear war seen flying above Moscow on its way to somewhere
|
| |
|
Still not as cool as a space ocean liner, but this incredible space hotel could be up and running as early as 2025 for your comfy stay if you have space bucks
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
One of the nation's largest reproductive health research organizations intends to form a more perfect union in order to protect abortion rights
|
| |
|
Twenty years ago today, "Spider-Man" debuted and rescued the superhero genre with the best version of Peter Parker to date
|
 |
|
Scientists have made a big discovery about the Earth's crust. Just wait until they get to the crust on Uranus
|
| |
|
Drone carrying guns found stuck in tree near border. What an age we live in
|
| Mon May 02, 2022 |
| |
|
The royal Corgis are not amused to hear an uninvited imposter spent the night at Windsor Castle barracks. Death to the ankles and below
|
| (Audio Nostalgia) |
|
A museum of sounds out of the early computer years, from games tunes to dial up modems
|
| |
|
Well, I could pay everyone, including myself, $73,000 a year, or I could pay all the serfs $16 an hour, and myself $430,000. What to do?
|
| |
|
Was that wrong? Should this city health officer not have received a massage in her underwear in front of other employees in a conference room?
|
 |
|
Before driving a $704,000 supercar you should probably register and insure the vehicle, get a driver's license, and learn how to drive a manual transmission
|
| |
|
The 36 year-old federal judge who scuttled the aviation mask mandate was eschewing originalism and being an activist judge
|
 |
|
Republicans Senators propose bill to block Biden from cancelling student loan debt, a power establishment Democrats claimed he doesn't have despite his having cancelled nearly 3 billion in student loan debt while in office
|
| |
|
The Fear Caucus
|
| |
|
Congressman Adam Kinzinger offers "red line" resolution" to deploy US troops in Ukraine if Russia uses chemical, biological, nuclear weapons
|
| |
|
You know the old cliché where a teenager is punished for sneaking a cigarette by being forced to smoke the entire carton? Well it's probably best not to try that with whiskey and a four year old. Ain't that right, Grandma? (possible nsfw content on page)
|
| (Too damn high) |
|
'Way-too-early 2023 NFL mock draft' is also prediction of who will win Super Bowl, who will have worst season this year
|
 |
|
Want to be a good husband? Sign up for a multi-year "Husbands in Training" Program
|
 |
|
"A darts enthusiast, MacDonald taught himself how to tuck darts into the gap between his penis and arm, and learned to be careful in public after nearly hitting a woman in the face with it at the supermarket"
|
| |
|
So who bought up all the...ahem, "prominent, elected civil servant on the down-low" data from around DC? You know, for research purposes
|
| |
|
Bacon, alcohol, and a politician making sexual advances toward a 16-year-old
|
| |
|
DeppWatch Live Day 12: HeardWatch
|
 |
|
"I spend $1,200 a year on my Disney Annual Pass and do no rides. Entertainment makes it worthwhile"
|
 |
|
Another book, another string of revelations that would have been nice to know earlier
|
 |
|
A survey of 1,300 Americans found that Americans are willing to give up coffee, video games, and social media if they could have free tacos for a year
|
| |
|
'K 'Obby 'Oss 'estival 'eturns 'fter 'wo 'ears
|
| |
|
A clear NO FARKING WAY
|
| |
|
Dearth of drivers does Domino's doubling down on de-emphasizing delivery
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Twenty-five years ago today, the British government thawed out a cryogenically frozen spy who then stopped an evil mastermind from blackmailing the world for the gigantic sum of $1 million
|
| |
|
Research proves Bronze-Age blades were used for cutting things
|
 |
|
Nashville debuts MLS soccer stadium. For soccer, not those silly games that nobody outside of the US has ever heard of. Only soccer
|
| |
|
Mystery solved: It was Amber Heard's PR team who crapped in Johnny Depp's bed
|
| |
