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| Wed July 01, 2020 |
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♫ Hello foreclosure crisis my old friend ♪ I've come to talk with you again ♬
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A day after his reassuring February COVID speech Trump met with his task force: actors in "Deep State" play and of course Diamond and Silk
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Remember when the GOP used the term "flip flopper" as a derogatory slur to sink John Kerry's presidential bid? Good times, good times
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Trump for months now: Why won't "Sleepy Joe" hold a press conference, huh? Is it because he can't because he has dementia? What's he hiding? *Biden holds a great press conference* Trump: well, they must have FED him the questions and answers, somehow
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Trump and Republicans hurt by people's opinions, facts
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Forget worshipping Mammon, the TX Lt. Gov goes straight to Moloch
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I was watching the news today and they said there's some kind of virus infecting people in the United States
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Trump has essentially designated Black Lives Matter as a hate group
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Trump: My last four years as president have given me critical, hands-on experience that Joe Biden does not have. 61 percent of Americans: Oh, wait. You're serious. Let me laugh louder
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The runaway freight train that is Trump's approval rating continues, rising all the way to 39% from its already respectable 41%
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Why Biden isn't getting woke
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Trump tried to give himself a new nickname. Since this is on Fark, you can guess how well it went
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Cult's gonna cult
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Trump has gotten really skilled at pretending not to be president
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Democrats declare DeSantis dedouche, deduce deweapon for deelection is demeanting deGOP's response to deCoronavirus
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America is moving further and further from reality as we go from Tea Party Republicans to Qanon Republicans who get their truth from the kids at 4chan
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As losing to Biden and the Democrats becomes increasingly inevitable, the rest of the GOP goes against Trump on masks
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Trump bails out on Alabama rally after realizing maybe people just might not want to catch the covid
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...pation
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Yertle warns Democrats not to mess with the filibuster rule if they win control of the chamber in November, as he would never do such a thing
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| Tue June 30, 2020 |
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The Gill Foundation has pledged a quarter-million-dollar donation to save the Stonewall Inn from closing
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Biden invites Fauci to extend his service when he beats Donnie on election day. Countdown to Donnie firing Fauci 10,9,8,7
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Keebler elf out to prove he's got what it takes to be an Alabama republican senator
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Finally, a Karen doing the right thing
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"It seems our wartime president has surrendered, waved the white flag and abandoned the battlefield"
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Thisisfine.jpg: Senate strips provision from intelligence bill requiring campaigns to report foreign election help
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Trump loses senior advantage while retaining senior moments
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Something about Biden and ramping
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Democrats debate the Biden effort to expand the electoral map
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According to Nancy Pelosi, intelligence officials didn't tell Trump stuff because he would stupidly tell Pooty-Poot because he's dumber than a box of rocks
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A National Mask Mandate Could Save The U.S. Economy $1 Trillion, Goldman Sachs Says
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KY Primary: Booker done, McGrath to take on King Koopa
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Biden / Harris / Warren / Demmings / Lance-Bottoms / Rice / Whitmer / Lujan-Grisham / Baldwin / Abrams / Duckworth / Bass 2020?
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Even Fox and Friends is telling Donnie to wear a mask
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Joe Biden has a bigger what than Obama?
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Trump says he didn't know about the Russian Bounty issue. Intel officials say he got a written briefing on the matter in February. Well there ya go then, they're both right
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In the wake of Princeton dropping Woodrow Wilson's name from campus, NJ Governor announces that he too is woke to anti-racism, and is doing his part by no longer using Wilson's old desk
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TUESDAY TUESDAY TUESDAY Live from the SCOTUS All remaining judgments shall be made, all decisions are final, unprecedented presidents, and 700 page decisions You'll pay for the whole seat, but you'll only need THE EDGE
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[second term plan goes here]
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The GOP is truly no better than a group of petulant children
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| Fri June 26, 2020 |
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Louisiana's front-line workers may soon see $250 'hazard pay,' perhaps a crust or two of brown bread strewn from on high
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Known bastion of liberalism The Wall Street Journal hits Donnie with both barrels: "President Trump may soon need a new nickname for 'Sleepy Joe' Biden. How does President-elect sound?"
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Dueling Goofus-Gallant campaign events are offering contrasting virus responses, color schemes
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Wall Street is having a nightmare because Elizabeth Warren might be Treasury Secretary in a Biden administration. This needs to become more than just a nightmare
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Wall Street is having a nightmare because Elizabeth Warren might be Treasury Secretary in a Biden administration. This needs to become more than just a nightmare
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Biden camp concerned as Trump's support among black voters surges to 5%
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Lamestream media polling shows Trump trailing Biden in NC, FL, TX, and GA (checks notes) wait, strike that -- Fox News polls
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New poll show that 49% of voters "strongly disapprove" of the job Trump is doing. That's a record for Trump, or, ANY sitting president since polling began
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New Pew Poll says Republicans, Democrats are moving even further apart with coronavirus concerns. How can that even be with one side wanting to save everyone and the other wanting to kill them?
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House approves statehood for Washington DC in 232-180 in historic vote to elevate the District to the 51st state
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With their states engulfed in viral explosions, the Donnie-loving governors of Fla, Tx, and Az are now backpedaling faster than a room of Trump spokescreatures after a 3 a.m. tweet-storm
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Biden widening lead over Trump in new poll. But, don't worry, Trump will surely come back and win because... well because
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The GOP grapples with Trump's toxicity, lamenting the hate is backfiring
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Trump: If you live in a Democrat-run city, you live in a hellish sh**-hole
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House vote today would make D.C. the 51st state. Senate republicans and Trump say NO
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Biden just lost the anti-mask vote, not that those still alive were going to vote for him anyway
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Overview of polls to the left (good news for Democrats in the Senate), obligatory response to ignore all polls to the right
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Joe Biden has had another 57 states moment so Trump is king for life
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Trump World in chaos
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Lindsey Graham's vote on expansion of authority for Inspectors General reveals his part in the Great Trump Conspiracy
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News: I predict Biden will win the election. Fark: Donald Trump is doing the predicting
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Trump: I brought manufacturing back
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| Thu June 25, 2020 |
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Trump's pick for Pentagon policy board should be running Qanon message board instead
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TL/DR He's not Trump
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Biden bulks up staff in key battleground states
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The June jobs report will determine if and when there is a second Covid-19 stimulus check
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How bad is the surge of COVID-19 cases in the sunbelt for Trump? "There is no guarantee Trump can squeeze out enough rural votes to hold Texas"
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New Polling Shows Trump's Electoral College Advantage Is Slipping
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Always bet on the black. and by 'bet', I mean 'vote'
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Don't get complacent, Biden's lead could still disappear
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Trump bringing the Senate safely into Democrats' hands
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Top GOP Senators to Trump campaign: Try something else, whatever the hell it is you're doing right now ISN'T working. Though these guys also "thought Trump was cruising to reelection only a few months ago". So
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Carly Fiorina just threw her support behind Biden, so I guess he's going to be bankrupt soon
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Who on Trump's staff thinks the reelection strategy is a train wreck? EVERYONE
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So, that 2nd stimulus check, well turns out Steve doesn't think you need one, but hey don't worry, the next "stimulus" is going to be "jobs" focused. You might say, it will have a laser like focus on "jobs"
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Publisher of The Federalist wants Republicans to start getting physical and attack BLM protesters
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Bing's death ruled a suicide, a Google search reports nervously
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Mark Cuban endorsed Joe Biden for President. Fark: While on Sean Hannity's Fox News show
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| Tue June 23, 2020 |
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How the T/A is burning rubber - and not cash - as Uncle Joe passes Donnie in fund-raising
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In an opinion column sure not to trigger anybody, Al Jazeera says Hillary was right about Trump's supporters being "deplorable"
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Stop me if you've heard this before: Trump shoots his mouth off during an interview and says something REALLY stupid, that pisses off a core constituency and now aides and allies are scrambling to do damage control on the political fallout
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Jacksonville to the RNC: Go spread sickness someplace else
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Pence tries to take another bullet for his beloved President, pretends to fall on Air Force 2 stairs to distract from Trump's embarrassing old man ramp shuffle people keep talking about. Nice try Mike, but too obvious
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Georgia Republicans "read the room" and decide that , on second thought, maybe including cops as a protected class in the state's first-ever hate crime bill ISN'T such a good idea right now after all
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Pence and his mother-wife used old address to vote in Indiana GOP primary...by mail
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Joe Biden will hold his first event of the 2020 campaign with former President Barack Obama on Tuesday, and more than 120,000 people have aaaaaaand here we go again
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If you are noticing a few hundred less tweets a day from Trump lately, it's because he's increasingly being preoccupied with defending his physical and mental health these days
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Andrew Jackson, you're the next contestant on Historically Insensitive Statues
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Yes, we Republicans are racist now, but Dems used to be racist. Checkmate libs
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Actual headline because this is farking 2020: Mississippi governor rejects 'separate but equal' 2-flag plan
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What's it like on the inside when things go horribly wrong for the worst person in world?
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So, who lifted travel restrictions so Nigel Farage could attend a Trump rally, anyway? Inquiring minds, and the US House, want to know
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| Mon June 22, 2020 |
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Robert Gates: nothing is working and partisanship has paralyzed the country. Rest of us: we know
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We have a new high bidder on the upcoming redistricting
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Trump campaign strategy is rooted in ethics in games journalism, trading wood for gold
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Trump is the patsy
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Biden appears educated, informed and neat compared to Trump who appears annoyed, irritated and frustrated according to swing voters in not very important Pennsylvania
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The only pollster who got 2016 kind of right calls Michigan a tie
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FFS What part of never interrupt an enemy when he is making a mistake don't you people understand?
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Democratic leaders and Joe Biden are trying to remind voters that their party retains the unsurpassed ability to lose despite holding every advantage, so avoid overconfidence because Dem's can always find the needle of failure in a landslide haystack
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Trump at rally: So I told my people to slow down Covid testing because all these new cases were making me Look bad. White House spokesman: OF COURSE Trump was joking JEEZ. Reporter to Trump today: But, did you, tho? Trump: "weellllllll.., see"
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Hold out all you people who have been living off the measly $1,200 the US government gave you way back when, a second coronavirus stimulus payment could be approved by Congress by August 8. Maybe it will last you until the second wave passes
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Trump supporters explain BLM to their children: "We don't see color, and they shouldn't either." Family dogs come running
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Trump needs racism to win
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Trump's advisers are worried that lifelong Catholic Biden could peel a few percentage points off the "because Jesus" voters overwhelming support for Trump, a man 66% of Americans perceive as "not religious at all", which would doom his re-election
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WHO reports highest single-day increase in confirmed coronavirus cases worldwide...a "world record" so to speak
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White House official claims President Trump was just joking about stifling Covid-19 testing. 120,000 Americans dead...that's is one hell of a punch line
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And the White house MVP of the year, to the surprise of no one, is Jared Kushner
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"The president, who had been warned aboard Air Force One that the crowds at the arena were smaller than expected, was stunned, and he yelled at aides backstage while looking at the endless rows of empty blue seats in the upper bowl of the stadium"
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How does John Bolton hope history remembers his former boss? "As a one-term president"
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Looks like Trump won't be able to use Ukraine to attack Biden
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| Thu June 18, 2020 |
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It's a noble effort, Politifact, but if you are going to try to fact-check every random idiot who posts on Facebook, well, you might want to cancel your dinner plans between now and the heat death of the universe
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Competent governors get major reelection boost from their Covid-19 responses
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Senator Jennifer McClellan launches gubernatorial bid in Virginia, aiming to become the first black woman elected governor in American history
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Senator Jennifer McClellan launches gubernatorial bid in Virginia, aiming to become the first black woman elected governor in American history
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Chuck Grassley decides to help protect Inspectors General about six months too late
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Chris Hayes calls out John Bolton for being a morally bankrupt treason profiteer
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The more Trump complains the quieter Biden should be. Not only is that a winning strategy but it would also annoy the heck out of Trump
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Tulsa mayor, who is apparently the former mayor from Jaws, says turning away Trump would be wrong as officials announce highest COVID-19 spike yet
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Republicans and Democrats think different groups are discriminated against. One side is right, the other side is obviously wrong
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Madeye to play Madman
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| Tue June 16, 2020 |
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Illinois Republicans sue the state's Democratic governor over his "10 person crowd" ruling despite the fact that Republicans can't draw a crowd larger than 4 people
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Trump administration is ready, willing, and able to restore law and order. Subby is expecting resignation letter any minute now
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During a phone call with governors, according to audio obtained by the NY Times. Pence urged the state leaders to take on the administration's explanation for rises in cases - that more testing has led to more positive cases - which isn't at all true
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Obama to hold joint fundraiser for Biden next week. Man, if someone does a funyuns fundraiser at the same time, they'll clean up
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Good news, everybody. Trump says that if he allows the election to proceed in November, and if GOP suppression efforts fail to limit minority votes, and if his efforts to rig other votes in his favor fail, he'll leave office peacefully
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Trump's got a Justice Gorsuch problem. You see, the president's Supreme Court pick isn't the toady he thought he was
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Trump's campaign manager described his paid media strategy as the "Death Star." Apparently, he never watched the last 10 minutes of "Star Wars"
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The head of a right wing group that poured millions into pushing Neil Gorsuch into ascending to the Supreme Court melts down after learning he's not a bigoted asshole
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Expect Trump to angry tweet about Michigan in 5...4...3...2
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Chuba Hubbard vows Gundy boycott over OAN tee. Like all of 2020, no part of this makes sense
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While the "We HAVE to vote for the Anti-Christ because he'll put 'Godly Men' on the Supreme Court" crowd is FURIOUS today; by and large Republicans in Congress are pretty cool with today's landmark ruling. Except Ted Cruz who's playing "that asshole"
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| Mon June 15, 2020 |
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Yet another Republican says that he simply doesn't believe in systemic racism, because Obama was elected twice. Personally, I don't believe in systemic gravity, because I've seen Michael Jordan jump from the foul line and dunk a basketball
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Looks like Denver Riggleman's going to have a lot more time to spend with his erotic Bigfoot fanfic
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GOP candidates must now balance the pros, cons, and faceplanting of running with Donnie
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Michael "Weiner" aka Savage to interview President Dumbass aka Moron aka Halfwit
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White House demands apology from Brian Stelter for being mean to a woman. Hillary Clinton seen looking up the definition of "irony"
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Kansas's Kris Kobach carries lots of guns for personal protection. Or he did until they got stolen from his truck
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He never wanted to be president
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"Don't be fooled into thinking Republicans are split over Trump...The drama is greatly exaggerated"
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Many predicting a Trump landslide...many local GOP officials who are convinced polls are fake, Biden is weak, and Trump's ground game is solid
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Trump better worry about the video of him trying to drink water because the press won't protect him like they did with Roosevelt's polio or Kennedy's urinary tract infections
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Former Black Panther Rep. Bobby Rush, whose office Chicago cops broke into to use as a crash pad during the riots, and later claimed he invited them to do so, says the Chicago FOP and the KKK are "kissing, hugging and law-breaking cousins"
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GOP-driven voter suppression driving Democratic panic in 2020
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| Thu June 11, 2020 |
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Instead of angry 4am tweets containing unhinged conspiracy theories and childish ad hominem attacks, someone takes a new approach by presenting a reasonable plan to open up the country amidst the pandemic
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Georgia Sheriff posts a meme asking if the U.S. could start 'hanging traitors', finds out that yes, that was wrong and he wasn't supposed to do that
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Mitch McConnell winces at new "Chokehold Mitch" moniker, recalling failed MMA aspirations
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White House Press Secretary accuses Biden of spreading conspiracy theories. That's the joke
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"This isn't just a wink to white supremacists-he's throwing them a welcome home party"
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The RNC's decision to keep their 2016 platform is either hilariously lazy or trolling Trump
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Trump imposes sanctions on foreign officials and their families because those officials, who are with the ICC, opened an official investigation into war crimes committed by US troops in Afghanistan. Don't look away, this is what our country is now
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Mitt Romney, a man who has to tell the truth because of his religious beliefs says Donald Trump will win reelection in 2020
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Congress is getting its first QAnon supporter and cult member
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Ohio state Sen. Steve Huffman (R-hodesia): "Could it just be that African Americans or the colored population do not wash their hands as well as other groups?"
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"Biden 'convinced' US military would intervene if Trump refused to leave White House;" and if they didn't, he'd sic Corn Pop on 'em
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Trump is now so highly regarded by GOP senators they're now disappearing him completely from their 2020 campaign ads
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"Trump will try again Thursday when he holds a meeting on race relations and policing in Dallas, where he's traveling for a fundraiser. However... the city's police chief, county sheriff and DA - all of whom are black - were not invited to attend"
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| Tue June 09, 2020 |
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Biden proves his Law & Order plan is 100% Briscoe and Green as opposed to Trump's Greevey and Logan
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Gen. Charles Q. Brown confirmed as Air Force Chief of Staff, the first black man to head a US military service. For those keeping score at home, the vote was 98-0
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Our old pal "Overzealous GOP Staffer" strikes again. Bonus: local newspaper actually does some investigative journalism
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Trump's favorite pollster shows his approval rate jumping over 6 points. Oh did I say jump, I meant to say it was pushed down like a 75 year old man
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"South Carolina's Graham taking on 3 Republican challengers." The AP's editors still doing phrasing
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Trump thinks if Dubya endorses Biden, it will be a good strategery for his campaign
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"White voters are turning on Trump, new data shows." And you know what Trump grabs when he gets turned on
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We got it, Ted. Nobody wants to see you naked
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Top Congressional Democrats, including Nancy Pelosi and the leaders of the Congressional Black Congress, have no interest in Defunding the Police and think the idea is "easily caricatured by demagogues and Republicans"
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And let's see how Arizona's freedom is going... hoo boy
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Trump gets the 2016 White Fright team back together for 2020
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New poll confirms that it's pretty much time we just give up on 1/3 of Americans
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Turns out that the Trump campaign is running ads in DC with the sole aim of making Trump feel better
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Lobbying firm severs ties with former Sen. Trent Lott (R-Miss.) following days of anti-racism protests across the country. When asked for a response, Lott said, "I would never have problems like this if Strom Thurmond had been elected president"
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The RNC warned its candidates to never use McLaughlin as a polling firm because they are serially and hilariously incorrect about everything. Fark: In 2014
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| Fri June 05, 2020 |
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