headlines found matching 'Crime' NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Wed February 01, 2023 |
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Dead dog bites congressman
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Not content with stealing toilet paper, thief steals toilet plumbing, leaving Burger King with a "strange bulge" in her pants
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New York's Third Congressional District is seeing a surge in crime, according to one of the founding members of the Avengers
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New York's Third Congressional District is seeing a surge in crime, according to one of the founding members of the Avengers
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I love my FedEx guy because he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it
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Mad Lib like sentence detected from article: "Illegal counterfeit anime girl huggy pillow cover trafficking"
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House Oversight Committee disbands Subcommittee on Civil Rights and Civil Liberties
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Social media misogynist who bragged about taking advantage of lax Romanian laws gets to enjoy 30 more days of lax Romanian hospitality
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Eagles offensive lineman charged with offensive holding, unnecessary roughness, illegal contact, illegal motion, illegal use of helmet
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Eagles offensive lineman charged with offensive holding, unnecessary roughness, illegal contact, illegal motion, illegal use of helmet
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It's that time of year. Take out the tree. And take in the annual "Footprints in the snow lead police to burglary suspect" headlines
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Monkey-theft trifecta in play
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| Fri January 27, 2023 |
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Florida logic: Burn down your apartment to get revenge against HOA. Bonus logic: you also shoot yourself
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Her fee was ten sen an hour, and sometimes her patrons handed over a extra five or ten sen by way of a tip. When that happened, she took care to show them plenty of leg, but she drew the line at Fresh Hell Friday in the MSNBC thread @ 7 pm Eastern
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Man who killed wife tries the "She was asking for it defense"
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You have a better chance of being killed in a red state. Which is preferable to living around the people in one
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DOJ stops Iranian backed hit squad that tried to kill Iranian dissident on US soil
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'You're going to see acts that defy humanity,' police chief says, as officials urge calm when Tyre Nichols arrest videos are released publicly tonight
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If you have a giant rose tattoo on your neck, maybe cover it up before you start robbing banks
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Cro-Magnon brothers just released from prison charged with murder. Unfrozen caveman lawyer to represent them
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Surprising no one, a pastor is accused of leading a double, nay, a triple life if you include the pastoring as a side hustle
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| (Some Guy) |
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Are you frustrated that you're getting hung up on by deputies after nearly 100 calls and feel they're not listening to you? Well do we have a solution for you
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Bill Barr once traveled to Italy to get the Italian government to help discredit the Trump/Russia investigation. They responded by giving him evidence of Trump crimes
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| (Some Guy) |
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Faxed bomb threats paralyze Japanese schools. One can imagine principals staring at the office fax machine, waiting for the ring, the beep and the plasticy printout containing the next fateful fax setting up the bomb
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| Fri January 20, 2023 |
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At least give the friendly officer a nod, a tip of your cap, a wink, smile or wave. If you simply go on about your business without acknowledging him, you can wind up in jail. Also make sure your brake lights work, and leave your meth at home
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Officer who hit woman in McDonald's dispute placed on leave. No word if he ever got his liter of cola
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Stealing luxury mountain bikes isn't just for coordinated professional crime syndicates. Here's some tips to up your burgling game
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Phuket. Didn't think they'd catch up to me here
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Monsters are real
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Baltimore Police Officer, Facebook Lives himself at home, coaching, at the gym all while receiving 200K in overtime. Police Union blames rampant crime in Baltimore for excess
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Man charged in Lincoln Park church burglary. He stole at least $9K, but in the end, it didn't even matter
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Sheriff's office turns to crowdfunding to identify human foot found on beach. Sounds like they were stumped
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| Thu January 05, 2023 |
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People HAVE begun to lose their hopes, and forget their dreams. But the Nothing grows stronger
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Released inmate throws rock through glass door of jail to try to get back inside for meal and place to sleep. Sheriff: "We quickly made those arrangements for him"
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Adam Kinzinger (R-etired?) doesn't stay unemployed for long, joins CNN as paid contributor
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Latest way to keep Portland weird? Face-eating Zombies vs. Robots
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I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail, like investing in GameStop
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Cop detains and threatens Wall Street Journal reporter who was conducting interviews for a story. Why would a cop detain a WSJ reporter whe... oh, now I see why
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Here it is: the greatest non-apology of all time. "Jesus forgives me for trying to serve my wife's students cupcakes that were made with my semen"
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"Think about the danger this creates. It can lead to gambling. It can lead to violence." This Florida Sheriff is talking about, you guessed it, pot brownies
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| (Times & Star) |
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As someone who isn't British, Subby thought "spending a penny" in this headline literally meant "spending a penny". Turns out, there's an alternate meaning. No word on what penalty "save a penny" carries
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Some people attack the power grid because they're domestic terrorists who want to overthrow the government. But others, like these two Washington men, only do it so they can rob a local business. Small blessings
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Drunk American YouTubers trespass into animal enclosures at Night Safari to pet wallaby and tempt hyena with potato chips. Where's a starving grizzly bear when you need one?
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| Thu December 15, 2022 |
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Legalizing marijuana tends to cut down on marijuana arrests? Boy, you really have to spell it out for libertarians don't you?
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Duh, where else would you look for a drug dealer?
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Hieroglyphics discovered on area man's face
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Small-town mayor fed up with visitors looking for love at Christmastime: "We have zero quaint Victorian bed and breakfasts. There's a Motel 6 by the truck stop, and unless you want to be the lead in a true crime podcast, I wouldn't stay there"
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*Pew Pew Pew* "Puff Puff Puff"
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In our city we have a "crime-free" housing ordinance to prevent undesirables from moving in, wink-wink. Federal government: Yeah, I see what you're getting at, and you mean to say you violated the Fair Housing Act and the Civil Rights Act, wink-wink
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| (Some Guy) |
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Hey, that's my retirement grease
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| Tue December 06, 2022 |
| (Mark Hall) |
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Man to spend up to 40 years in prison for card store robbery. Got no Good Luck or Sympathy from the judge. But that 40th anniversary one might be one to look forward to
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Vacationing Chicago Cop transforms into Florida Man
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House passes bill to fight Internet Crimes Against Children. Tag is for the 1 'no' vote
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Iconic 1978 doc "Scared Straight," used to scare young punks into avoiding life of crime, lives on in Japan, where template is used for live stuntman demos scaring little kids into observing traffic safety
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There is "throwing the book" at someone and then there is beating someone senseless with it. Colorado nightclub shooter facing 305 criminal counts including murder, attempted murder, hate crimes, and, presumably, jay-walking
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Boris Becker to be released just 8 months into his 2-1/2 year sentence for multi-million-pound bankruptcy fraud and deported to Germany. Sounds about white
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Boris Becker to be released just 8 months into his 2-1/2 year sentence for multi-million-pound bankruptcy fraud and deported to Germany. Sounds about white
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Suspect who taunted a special needs kid, then knocked out the eye of a woman defending him, is arrested. Surprisingly, Florida isn't mentioned anywhere in the article
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Rudy, the man, the myth, the legend. Long live Rudy
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