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headlines found matching 'Comment'

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Wed July 01, 2020
		Here comes the bride, all dressed in white - putting her fresh nursing degree to use to help an accident victim source: twincities.com \| share:	14
		Soccer commentary is full of coded racism. In other news - sky blue, water wet source: fivethirtyeight.com \| share:	22
(KARK)		If you're close enough to brawl you really can't complain about people next to you at the bar not keeping their social distance. Bonus: it's not news, it's kark.com source: kark.com \| share:	21
		People who left Twitter for "Free Speech" Social Network, Parler are flocking back to Twitter to complain that they've been banned from Parler for speaking freely source: iflscience.com \| share:	63
		Trump Jr: "It's not 'too complicated to wear a mask.'" I'm Eric too busy eating paste to comment source: thehill.com \| share:	66

Tue June 30, 2020
		Keebler elf out to prove he's got what it takes to be an Alabama republican senator source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	38
		Remember Olive and Mabel, the two Labradors whose breakfast racing video went viral after play-by-play commentary was added? Here's a bit of behind-the-scenes to whet your appetite until their next video competition is released source: youtube.com \| share:	3
		They would have forgiven insulting BLM but he had to go and defame Alabama football source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	47
		Dr. Dre's wife detoxes herself, files for divorce after 24 years citing chronic disinterest source: usatoday.com \| share:	23
		If she's concerned, maybe she should stay out of places like that source: cbc.ca \| share:	74
		If she's concerned, maybe she should stay out of places like that source: cbc.ca \| share:	74

Mon June 29, 2020
		I have to be at the quarantine in 26 minutes source: cnn.com \| share:	23
		In the 'I'll believe it when if farkin' happens' category: Cadet Bone Spur is reportedly in a "fragile" mood and may drop out of 2020 race if poll numbers don't improve source: independent.co.uk \| share:	268
		You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off the Ole Lone Ranger and if you from Alabama, you don't mess around with Nick. Right Mr. ex-mayor source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	12
		Warrant issued for Trump's arrest source: aljazeera.com \| share:	96

Sat June 27, 2020
		Doctor dedicates his life to making the world a more beautiful place - one a**hole at a time. Maybe he should head to Washington, D.C source: huffpost.com \| share:	22
		At your wit's end from social distancing? Need something different in entertainment and distraction? How about a first look at a new science fiction novel? Presenting: The Voyage of the New Beginning, now through Chapter 33 - "Buzzly" source: fark.com \| share:	121
		At your wit's end from social distancing? Need something different in entertainment and distraction? How about a first look at a new science fiction novel? Presenting: The Voyage of the New Beginning, now through Chapter 33 - "Buzzly" source: fark.com \| share:	121
		UBI to be tried on a slightly larger scale source: independent.co.uk \| share:	73

Fri June 26, 2020
		"So what did you go to school for?" "Ninja studies." "Black belt?" "Masters" source: independent.co.uk \| share:	36
		"Elon Musk hints at Tesla Cybertruck being amphibious". Right, and when the car doesn't take a swim it will walk your dog, lay perfect breakfast eggs, and pay down your mortgage source: electrek.co \| share:	35
		A thong? There's no thongs in golfing source: nypost.com \| share:	19
		Cops find it odd that suicide victim washed blood off her hands, wiped fingerprints off of gun and then placed gun on her left side even though she was right handed source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	51
		Old TV shows, sports mascots, and former jobs of Italian poets are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, June 14-20: Ugly Couch Edition source: fark.com \| share:	13
		Don't worry, he was only pretending source: msn.com \| share:	88
		Joe Biden has had another 57 states moment so Trump is king for life source: nypost.com \| share:	102
		Walk on the railroad bridge, end up on Fark source: pennlive.com \| share:	66

Thu June 25, 2020
		British supermarket confuses customers by introducing the limelon, a melon with a hint of lime. Still working on the pineapple-apple-pen (possible nsfw content on page) source: express.co.uk \| share:	7
		Republicans have found their new ACORN source: argusleader.com \| share:	89
		A group of people were arrested on Staten Island and charged with unlawfully dealing with dangerous fireworks and transporting three alligator carcasses. King of Staten Island unavailable for comment source: nypost.com \| share:	22
		Sheriff tells crowd, "don't be a sheep" about wearing face masks. What ever happened to "Protect and Serve"? source: kiro7.com \| share:	114
		White House canceled research into coronavirus because Trump thinks China released the virus to thwart his re-election source: arstechnica.com \| share:	86
		We are removing her name from the stadium due to racist comments said in the past...oh but don't worry, we'll be keeping the 2 million she donated to build it source: wthr.com \| share:	22
		Devin Nunes cannot sue Twitter over a fake cow judge ruuuuuules source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	53

Wed June 24, 2020
		Trump slams Cuomo for Trump's approval to use the Javits Center and the USNS Comfort as coronavirus care facilities only. My neck hurts from that spinning source: nypost.com \| share:	23
		Melania fries Food Network host for suggesting Donnie wasn't Barron's father, not sure if that was an insult or a compliment source: thehill.com \| share:	130
		Olympus has fallen source: engadget.com \| share:	19
		NHTSA wants to know why Tesla owners are losing touch with their screens source: reuters.com \| share:	23

Tue June 23, 2020
		Jay Pharoah says the LAPD can stuff their apology for forcing him to the ground at gunpoint. Other black comedians were unavailable for comment, so he just imitated them saying something supportive source: cbsnews.com \| share:	17
		Dude who uses racial slurs pulls gun on three African American men, discovers black eyes matter source: greatfallstribune.com \| share:	79
		Florida restaurant closed for 1 day for typical Florida reason and 26 other violations source: sun-sentinel.com \| share:	24
		Italy arrests Siemens, Alstom executives over cash in Milan's ATM source: reuters.com \| share:	5
		Amazon is launching a $2bil venture capital fund to invest in clean energy. So, soon Jeffy may be selling power to Elon. grabs popcorn, thisgonnabegood.gif source: reuters.com \| share:	5
		Nestlé is rebranding its Red Skins sweets due to its offensive racial overtones. No comment from the NFL team from Washington source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	19
		Delta Air Lines confirms 500 employees test positive for COVID-19, at least 10 have died. United Airlines too busy throwing people off planes to comment source: 11alive.com \| share:	8
		Kids, lol source: mlive.com \| share:	37

Mon June 22, 2020
		Biden Campaign commits to only three debates despite Trump's push for more to prevent nationwide popcorn shortage and mass alcohol poisonings source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	122
		That Craigslist ad seeking "minority actors" to cheer and wave signs at the Trump rally was a fake, of course; and you know this because if it had been real there would have been at least SOME people at the really source: factcheck.org \| share:	52
		Trump campaign blames protesters for disappointing turnout at Tulsa rally. Invisible antifa supersoldier unavailable for comment source: politico.com \| share:	71
		White House official claims President Trump was just joking about stifling Covid-19 testing. 120,000 Americans dead...that's is one hell of a punch line source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	59
		Log Cabin Republicans in 2016: We don't endorse Trump and the 2016 GOP platform is the most anti-LGBTQ platform in its history. In 2020: Trump's cool and Biden's a tool source: advocate.com \| share:	72
		The one topic guaranteed to cause a heated debate: How to fold towels source: news.com.au \| share:	77

Sat June 20, 2020
		Global taillight community's outrage still focused on devil GM, whose flaring back-up lights saying your car is now locked wreak death in parking lots source: jalopnik.com \| share:	72
		Well, that's one way to keep the numbers down source: redandblack.com \| share:	22
		Duo who stole over $8 million in rare books and artifacts from the Carnegie Library get the book thrown...wait, their sentences are what? source: triblive.com \| share:	78
		No really guys, Google says they're working on leaving some RAM for the rest of your PC while running Chrome. For reals this time source: extremetech.com \| share:	45
		Quebec is burning, and water bombers called in to douse fire covering 40 hectares, roughly the size of 40 international rugby fields or 4000 vats of poutine source: cbc.ca \| share:	36
		Driving while intoxicated and crashing through a store's windows is one way for the Voice of the Steelers to occupy himself during the offseason source: triblive.com \| share:	10
		Driving while intoxicated and crashing through a store's windows is one way for the Voice of the Steelers to occupy himself during the offseason source: triblive.com \| share:	10
		The Return of the King source: theverge.com \| share:	40

Fri June 19, 2020
		Trump ordered his subordinates to disparage Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in the news. Guess he didn't like the way his women were looking at him source: cbc.ca \| share:	50
		First it was $2.1billion - now Wirecard has lost its CEO source: cnbc.com \| share:	2
		Has anyone tried any of the meal delivery services? Have one you recommend? source: fark.com \| share:	30
		Has anyone tried any of the meal delivery services? Have one you recommend? source: fark.com \| share:	30
		Trump: Drew Brees will regret apologizing for his comments about protesting source: sports.yahoo.com \| share:	18
		No, but if he wants to take it that way, it's fine by me source: cnbc.com \| share:	45

Thu June 18, 2020
		Never waste a crisis: Anti-solar group submits regulation to cripple roof top solar industry so it can be reviewed while everyone is panicked about Covid source: politico.com \| share:	71
		$2.1bil missing is not an "accounting error" or "overzealous staffer" source: cnbc.com \| share:	17
		Uh-oh. Looks like Dick Durbin hurt the feelings of the GOP's one black friend source: npr.org \| share:	83
		After Monday's major LGBT ruling, will the Dreamers be denied? Will Trump turn over his taxes? Tune in Thursday, same bat time, same bat channel (SCOTUS opinions released 10 am EDT) source: live.scotusblog.com \| share:	54
		How do we know Trump Incorporated is in Panic Mode? His DOJ files a request for an Emergency Restraining Order against John Bolton's book source: axios.com \| share:	165

Wed June 17, 2020
		Indiana woman charged after attempting to neuter her dog by herself. Husband unavailable for comment source: wgntv.com \| share:	34
		Et tu Mrs. Butterworth? source: nypost.com \| share:	96
		"The EFL can confirm that 2213 players and Club staff from the 24 Championship Clubs were tested over the course of the past week with eight individuals testing positive from six Clubs" source: independent.co.uk \| share:	3
		'However, Lesh doesn't seem phased. After receiving numerous comments questioning his behavior, he challenged others on social media to follow his lead at Hanging Lake and even defecate in its waters.' source: kdvr.com \| share:	64
		T.I.'s daughter says her father's "hymen test" comments forced her to recalculate their relationship source: metro.co.uk \| share:	55

Tue June 16, 2020
		Chachi slapped with Do Not Work order after violating COVID-19 guidelines source: thewrap.com \| share:	37
		Today on Bring a Trailer: 1989 Ford Via concept car with no drivetrain sells for $11K. Fark: to Moray Callum, the original designer source: autoblog.com \| share:	15
		♫ ♬ Cellino and Barnes... consulted their attorneys... wonder who gets the phone number ♪ ♫ ♬ source: nypost.com \| share:	33
		Restaurant owner finds out the hard way that selling T-shirts with "Drunk Wives Matter" is not a good idea source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	25
		♫♫ We're not havin' a party. Nobody's singing. No dancing to the music On the radio ♫♫ source: nj.com \| share:	2
		Economic fallout from a pandemic hitting UK was never modelled, senior civil servants admit. Sir Humphrey says it would have cost money, been depressing and required the government come up with a plan source: independent.co.uk \| share:	19
		Economic fallout from a pandemic hitting UK was never modelled, senior civil servants admit. Sir Humphrey says it would have cost money, been depressing and required the government come up with a plan source: independent.co.uk \| share:	19

Mon June 15, 2020
		Maria Ressa, a Filipino journalist whose online newspaper has been routinely critical of dictator Rodrigo Duterte, has been found guilty of "cyber libel." Cyber police unavailable for comment source: deadline.com \| share:	27
		T-Mobile, Verizon and AT&T phone calls are failing across the US. More than usual that is source: theverge.com \| share:	161
		Trump finally has a solution to the uptick in Coronavirus cases: stop testing source: independent.co.uk \| share:	154
		Trump finally has a solution to the uptick in Coronavirus cases: stop testing source: independent.co.uk \| share:	154
		White House demands apology from Brian Stelter for being mean to a woman. Hillary Clinton seen looking up the definition of "irony" source: mediaite.com \| share:	55
		Loyal NorthStar Horizon users patiently waiting for their new console upgrades have their hopes dashed again by KFC, bastards source: cnet.com \| share:	5
		Davy Crockett unavailable for comment source: myfox8.com \| share:	91
		Chalk Art Charlene wants you to know that she's very very sorry that she got caught on video and called out for being a racist source: cbsnews.com \| share:	94

Sun June 14, 2020
		Early test results show few Minnesota protesters caught COVID-19, which lines up with previous data suggesting that transmission primarily occurs indoors source: twincities.com \| share:	74

Sat June 13, 2020
		For once, the Cleveland Browns will take the lead in the NFL source: espn.com \| share:	10
		McConnell: Racism is over because you got eight years of the black one source: usatoday.com \| share:	80
		The unusual happenstance of Hero trumping the Florida tag source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	36
		Lonely bear happy to see kids after 3-months as St. Louis Zoo reopens source: kmov.com \| share:	9
		Andromeda isn't so far away after all source: independent.co.uk \| share:	22
		And the next video game developer to be destroyed is...... Warner Brothers?? source: cnbc.com \| share:	29

Fri June 12, 2020
		DeWine: "My state medical director just retired, please don't leave me hanging here." State health director Acton: "Fark this, we're about to have an outbreak and I'm done dealing with the Flu Klux Klan" source: cincinnati.com \| share:	63
		Tonight at 8 p.m. Eastern, a very special Fark livestream: It's Drew vs the Top Fark Submitters in Quiplash. We may have a spot or two remaining so pipe up in the Fark comments if you want to be considered. Bonus: Audience votes award points also source: twitch.tv \| share:	136
		Zuckerberg disgusted by Trumps comments, vows to continuing giving him a platform to spout them for as long as it's profitable source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	37
		Trump: I've done more for black people than any other president. Lincoln: Um, what? Trump: Lincoln did good, but the end result is questionable. Lincoln: UM, WHAT?? source: americanindependent.com \| share:	95
		The party's over in Kentucky as the first indictments are handed down enforcing their new bestiality law. And because it's Kentucky it should be clarified, that law is ANTI-bestiality source: cincinnati.com \| share:	61
		The sentient accountant who controls Tucker Carlson is alarmed as Disney, Papa John's and T-Mobile let Fox know it is definitely about black lives source: cbsnews.com \| share:	107
(Some Liar)		Somebody hacked my Facebook page and posted that racist joke. But I'm not going to report it to the police, says the county DA source: ellsworthamerican.com \| share:	35
		Facebook is 'peddling in an addictive drug called anger' source: cnbc.com \| share:	23
		Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's son arrested for allegedly stabbing neighbor. No word if it was Bill Walton's son source: nypost.com \| share:	21
		President of Humane Society in Pennsylvania learns that being human and not insulting George Floyd are difficult. For him anyhow source: wfmz.com \| share:	26
		Scottish Parliament votes for immediate suspension of tear gas, rubber bullet and riot shield exports to a "racist state" who uses them as "weapons of oppression" to "brutalise marginalise communities". Yes, that's the US they're talking about source: independent.co.uk \| share:	115

Thu June 11, 2020
		Georgia Sheriff posts a meme asking if the U.S. could start 'hanging traitors', finds out that yes, that was wrong and he wasn't supposed to do that source: vice.com \| share:	79
		Anson Williams files for divorce for the second time this year, demanding a second Fark headline saying his Happy Days are over, this time I mean it source: foxnews.com \| share:	29
(Some Guy)		La Liga returns today with a derby game. Sevilla vs Betis. Kick off is at 4pm EDT. BeIN sports for us Yanks. Will we get Ray Hudson's madness on commentary? source: laliga.com \| share:	17
		The JK Rowling Tweets have entered a loop (Don't read the Comments) source: youtube.com \| share:	231
		Farcebook removes a The Cure meme after two months on the grounds it could be harmful, lead to Disintegration source: foxnews.com \| share:	36
		Why are so few people able to sing opera? do they have some specific physical ability that most people lack? and who are some of your favorite operatic trained non-opera stars? source: fark.com \| share:	49
		Why are so few people able to sing opera? do they have some specific physical ability that most people lack? and who are some of your favorite operatic trained non-opera stars? source: fark.com \| share:	49
		If you had the option of having a pouch like a Kangaroo at a reasonable cost, would you go for it? what would you carry about? how would you keep your pouch clean and smelling fresh? source: fark.com \| share:	17
		If you had the option of having a pouch like a Kangaroo at a reasonable cost, would you go for it? what would you carry about? how would you keep your pouch clean and smelling fresh? source: fark.com \| share:	17

Wed June 10, 2020
		La Liga is restarting Thursday with a big opening night and commentators ask, will the home team still play to the gallery if there is no gallery? For you Americans, 'will they still dive' if there is no home crowd to rile up? source: theguardian.com \| share:	3
		After making inflammatory comments about George Floyd, CEO of Crossfit steps down, then up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down, then up, then down, then up. Now, let's do 20 shoulder presses source: nbcnews.com \| share:	78
		"What machine did you think they were raging against for decades? The ice cream machine? The ATM? Lawnmowers?" source: independent.co.uk \| share:	251
		Coachella? More like Noachella... AMIRITE? source: spin.com \| share:	5

Tue June 09, 2020
		House filled up with stolen goods? Sell them on Facebook source: chicago.cbslocal.com \| share:	17
		Strategically shaved human testicle Dan Bongino expected to testify at House police brutality hearing source: politico.com \| share:	79
		FOIA documents confirm Half Scoop's Mongolia hunting trip to kill an endangered sheep cost taxpayers $77,000. Further documentation shows that the entire Trump family has taken over 3000 taxpayer-funded trips so far, twelve times more than Obama source: huffpost.com \| share:	68

Mon June 08, 2020
		Confederate memorial that should have never been built is coming down in Indianapolis source: indystar.com \| share:	147
		Apropos of nothing, here's Obama's 2008 MySpace page. Come for the nostalgia, stay for the comments source: web.archive.org \| share:	26

Sun June 07, 2020
		We see that you have an interest in racism and racist. Would you consider following @RealDonaldTrump? source: businessinsider.com \| share:	22

Sat June 06, 2020
		Yeah buoyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy source: cbc.ca \| share:	52
		Nurse now looking for a job after commenting on Facebook that "Protesters make great hood ornaments" source: pjstar.com \| share:	113

Fri June 05, 2020
		Florida Woman shows Florida Man how it's done .... with a hamburger source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	26
		Marvel struggles with appropriation of Punisher skull symbol by US police officers. Pepe the frog unavailable for comment source: io9.gizmodo.com \| share:	32
		Musk does not have legal authority to break up Amazon source: finance.yahoo.com \| share:	9
		Ronaldo is filthy rich. In fact he is the first billionaire in football, soccer, whatever you want to call it source: espn.com \| share:	19

Thu June 04, 2020
		Trump Campaign's SpaceX Launch Video Violates NASA Ad Guidelines source: bloomberg.com \| share:	31
		It's just a few bad apples. Like this New York cop who flashed a white power symbol during a protest source: nbcnews.com \| share:	192
		Ice-T praises Dick for "cleaning house" source: pagesix.com \| share:	26
		Smucker's not too sweet source: marketwatch.com \| share:	1
		Call of Duty studio vows to get rid of their entire fanbase source: kotaku.com \| share:	19
		And he looked like such a nice young Pilgrim source: cnbc.com \| share:	8
		Aaron Rodgers responds to Drew Brees: "It has never been about an anthem or a flag". Touchdown source: jsonline.com \| share:	33

Wed June 03, 2020
(Health News Review)		This week's frontrunner for Clickbait Weaselry of the Week is Reuters: " COVID-19 journalism that devolves to that level of dreck is dangerous" source: healthnewsreview.org \| share:	2
(Health News Review)		This week's frontrunner for Clickbait Weaselry of the Week is Reuters: " COVID-19 journalism that devolves to that level of dreck is dangerous" source: healthnewsreview.org \| share:	2
		New York Congressman Eliot Engel (D)oesn't care about anything other than getting reelected to his plush gig source: thehour.com \| share:	76
		Detroit Popcorn Co. Owner takes back post. Former Owner takes back Detroit Popcorn Co source: freep.com \| share:	9
		The president will give comments on "Reimagining Policing in the Wake of Continued Police Violence." at 5:00pm SHARP (really) source: youtube.com \| share:	272
		"Writing anything as an expert is really poisonous to the writing process, because you lose the quality of discovery." -Siddhartha Mukherjee. Hah, lucky for me, I don't know anything. This is your Fark Writer's thread, expert edition source: fark.com \| share:	4
		Bird scraps thousands of electric scooters in the Middle East, refuses comment on flying carpets source: cnbc.com \| share:	7
		Shock jocks fail to read the room and try to tap dance around using the N-word... find out their tap shoes are still plenty loud source: democratandchronicle.com \| share:	53
		Sean Hannity and Jill Rhodes divorce after she suddenly realizes she's married to Sean Hannity source: pagesix.com \| share:	89
		Sad trombone source: austin360.com \| share:	49
		Pentagon official resigns over Mark Esper clearing park of protestors for Trump. "Support and defend the Constitution of the United States ... and to bear true faith and allegiance to the same".... "I believe that you violated that oath" source: wral.com \| share:	57
		Former GW Bush administration members form super PAC to support...Biden? source: thehill.com \| share:	89
		Daytona Beach police have big plans to deal with the next George Floyd protest: they'll be marching in it, with local black leaders, carrying signs. Cue very confused FOX commentators source: news-journalonline.com \| share:	46

Tue June 02, 2020
		The state of Minnesota has filed a human rights complaint against the Minneapolis Police Department source: rollingstone.com \| share:	56
		How do you do, fellow Antifas? source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	56
		Thieves use a $5,000 stolen car to break into a store that sells $5 pizzas source: freep.com \| share:	26
		Thieves use a $5,000 stolen car to break into a store that sells $5 pizzas source: freep.com \| share:	26
		Nebraska Governor Pete Ricketts refers to black pastors and black leaders he was meeting with as "you people." Does not go well for him after pastor walks out source: wowt.com \| share:	67
		After announcing a July reopening, Disney World cancels dining reservations and stops taking new hotel bookings. Magic? More like fickle source: marketwatch.com \| share:	4
		If you own a popcorn company in Detroit, never use an alt to express controversial, unpopular opinions about police brutality victims source: detroit.eater.com \| share:	94

Mon June 01, 2020
		Kentucky Teacher of the Year arrested, shows why he is Kentucky Teacher of the Year source: courier-journal.com \| share:	30
		Lake County has really evolved since it gave us The Groveland Four. Just kidding. Still racist as f*ck source: orlandosentinel.com \| share:	19
		Trump looking to invoke Insurrection Act, grab America by the Posse Comitatus source: nbcnews.com \| share:	243
		Rush decides to weigh in on George Floyd murder. This is one time Subby reccomends reading the article before commenting source: mediaite.com \| share:	135
		Coronavirus causing millennials to favor suburban life over the city, their crippling debt and inability to purchase property have yet to comment on the situation source: inquisitr.com \| share:	101
		Boss names Josef Stalin a past "Employee of the Month." For several months. Joke? Political commentary? Too many quarantinis? source: askamanager.org \| share:	37
		Who wouldn't want to dip Tom Jones in a bucket of cold water and spin him around your head by his ankles? source: independent.co.uk \| share:	20
		Followup about Cincinnati area Sheriff raising the Thin Blue Line flag. We did it because someone stole the American flag and we totes don't have spares anywhere source: cincinnati.com \| share:	78
		Is there a food or drink you love that nobody else around you does? source: fark.com \| share:	80
		Is there a food or drink you love that nobody else around you does? source: fark.com \| share:	80

Sun May 31, 2020
		Sometimes it's good just to watch a master craftsman at his craft. This is long, but so soothing. Bonus: no annoying background music, or commentary, just the sound of the wood carving tools source: youtube.com \| share:	16
		Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay goes above his usual dounchenozzle duty, uses taxpayer-funded wage furlough scheme to pay his axed staff their notice (possible nsfw content on page) source: dailystar.co.uk \| share:	50
		Home field advantage, refs on their side, etc. This time the comments are GOLD source: twitter.com \| share:	47

Sat May 30, 2020
		If you can come up with a holiday for June in which we can get off work for, what would it be? source: fark.com \| share:	45

Fri May 29, 2020
		Whilst making deep fried hash browns and taking shots and I ponder: What happens if you pour vodka into a hot deep fryer? Geek tab because I'm curious as to what the chemical reaction would be without burning down my house source: fark.com \| share:	52
		Black Republican Senate candidate believes Trump's comment about "shiathole countries" was racist, but still supports him 2000%. "We've had our minds twisted to believe that speaking out is tantamount to fixing things" source: salon.com \| share:	63

Thu May 28, 2020
		Vancouver police concerned about increase in random explosions, ask citizens not to bang bears source: cbc.ca \| share:	26
		Otherwise pedestrian Mediate clickbait piece notable only for the massively-arrayed derp of the comments, which - like mindless clockwork - hit every single one of the right wing talking points. Check out "johnfored" (nice bot name) and "his" list source: mediaite.com \| share:	47

Wed May 27, 2020
		Silicon Valley tech billionaires plan to boost Joe Biden. Peter Thiel unavailable for comment source: vox.com \| share:	34
		Four out of 1008 isn't TOO bad is it? source: independent.co.uk \| share:	8
		Twitter's head of site integrity is being trolled on Twitter source: mashable.com \| share:	58
		White House Press Secretary sure likes voting by mail for someone that claims to hate voting by mail source: tampabay.com \| share:	44
		From Megadeth to jazz source: blabbermouth.net \| share:	33
		2,500 Boeing employees see their careers crash and burn like the MAX-737 source: thehill.com \| share:	9
		Comments containing "communist bandit" and "50-cent party" have been getting you insta-censored by Google in China source: theverge.com \| share:	8
(Jim Backus)		Oh, sure, now they tell us source: safetyandhealthmagazine.com \| share:	41
		Ever watch a stoned monkey attempt brain surgery? source: reuters.com \| share:	55
		"The Senate Majority Leader said that the next round of federal aid cannot be used to help states with "pre-existing" fiscal issues." Well, I guess that leaves out all the red states source: vanityfair.com \| share:	74
		Besides being the dude who filmed Central Park Karen, Christian Cooper is a pioneer in the comic world for creating Yoshi Mishima, the first gay male character in a Star Trek comic and the first gay human ever within the Star Trek universe source: out.com \| share:	20

Tue May 26, 2020
		Mildly electrocuted myself this morning while testing a power cable. I've done this several times before but it's still an unnatural feeling. Still no superpowers source: fark.com \| share:	72
		Kevin Federline prevented Britney Spears from seeing her sons until she self-quarantined for two weeks. In other news, anyone remember Kevin Federline? source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	34
		With full-time parenting "isn't human" comment Justin Timberlake has managed to make himself even more punchable. How's your human, or pup, or cat, or hedgie, or furry, or birdie, or marsupial, or reptile, or??? parenting going? source: boredpanda.com \| share:	7
		WHO stops trial using hydrochloroquinine for COVID patients. Who? WHO. No, who? WHO. Stop saying that source: cnbc.com \| share:	43

Mon May 25, 2020
		Hospital angrily denies presence of snake in operating theatre, insists there was only a monkey source: independent.co.uk \| share:	24
		Subby doesn't think a vehicle's exhaust system counts as an air leak to be sealed with expandable foam. (I'm not saying I approve...but I understand) source: carscoops.com \| share:	180

Sun May 24, 2020
		"Sessions HAD to recuse himself, you complete blithering idiot" says noted liberal commentator Ann Coulter. Clearly the lockdown has gotten to her source: twitter.com \| share:	187
		Not News: 65 year old Texas man dies. News: due to injuries from aggressive consensual sex from his better half. Fark: an 81 year old man. UltraFark: whom he's related to source: kctv5.com \| share:	116
		Pence is threatening China. Again source: newsweek.com \| share:	63
		President Trump's response to the Coronavirus has been brilliant. Here's what you don't understand. Article to the left, reasonable and calm commentary to the right source: chicagotribune.com \| share:	54

Sat May 23, 2020
		Warning issued after wolf approaches woman with stroller. Why the wolf had a stroller is anyone's guess source: torontosun.com \| share:	42
		Warning issued after wolf approaches woman with stroller. Why the wolf had a stroller is anyone's guess source: torontosun.com \| share:	42
		Trump's probably hoping someone will steal his identity and actually put money into his account source: thehill.com \| share:	58

Fri May 22, 2020
		Hertz really should have bought that supplemental insurance policy. Goodbye, Hertz source: finance.yahoo.com \| share:	58
		First it was Flu Klux Klan rallies at the Capitol, then the dams breaking in Midland, now a live Civil War cannonball found at a recycling center in West Michigan. Subby is going to hole up in Detroit for his own safety source: freep.com \| share:	53
		I found mouse poop on a sheet pan inside my oven. How did it get in there??? Silly answers are preferred source: fark.com \| share:	67
		Snapchat outage inconveniences millions of AWs source: newsweek.com \| share:	1

Thu May 21, 2020
		The Scope of the Ahmaud Arbery shooting has evolved, and now William Bryan (no, not that one) has been arrested. Clarence Darrow unavailable for comment source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	175
		The Cleveland Indians reveal they hid inimitable face of Nic Cage in 39 lineup-graphic tweets last season, and nobody noticed source: sbnation.com \| share:	9
		Google CEO:"Hardware is hard". Software unavailable for comment source: arstechnica.com \| share:	30
		Subby doesn't know what a "Cocomelon" is, but your kids do, and it's heading to Netflix source: marketwatch.com \| share:	7
		"I think we should be more stricter like Spain and none of us be allowed out." Says man on a day out in Brighton, with his family, drinking a cold beer source: theargus.co.uk \| share:	29
		Jennifer Lopez's captive makes his Instagram debut source: independent.co.uk \| share:	16

Wed May 20, 2020
		Michigan's Attorney General to Cadet Bone Spur: "While my Department will not act to prevent you from touring Ford's plant, I ask that while you are on tour you respect the great efforts of the men and women at Ford...by wearing a facial covering" source: freep.com \| share:	65
		Iran: Fark it. Let's just go full Nazi source: jpost.com \| share:	73
		Scientists take images that could be the first direct evidence of baby planet being born. Observers from European Southern Observatory's Very Large Telescope spotted passing out cigars source: independent.co.uk \| share:	5
		If hockey isn't essential travel in Canada, I don't know what is source: detroitnews.com \| share:	14
		How to Give a President an Aneurysm: Lesson One source: thehill.com \| share:	147
		Happy 2020, Michigan. Dam source: wnem.com \| share:	162

Tue May 19, 2020
		Wish this were The Onion: Kentucky convenience store posts 'No face masks allowed' sign source: nypost.com \| share:	204
		Mount Sinai the first in the US to use Skynet to analyze COVID-19 patients, won't comment on the use of tablets as a treatment source: eurekalert.org \| share:	2
		In these trying times, Alaska Rep Ben Hunter (not a white supremacist) is here to remind us that Hitler was misunderstood source: independent.co.uk \| share:	71
		Sorry, eh source: cbc.ca \| share:	93
		Sorry, eh source: cbc.ca \| share:	93
		Woman's desire to go topless outside her home has unintended consequence of raising neighborhood property values source: tcpalm.com \| share:	59
		Pennsylvania school director believes we should stand our ground against those who refuse to wear a mask source: pennlive.com \| share:	207
		Last year, WeWork was valued at $47 billion. At year-end, it was down to $7.3 billion. Today? $2.9 billion source: cnbc.com \| share:	33
		96-year-old woman speaks Welsh for the first time in forty years, in a victory either for preserving knowledge of older times or for knocking back eight martinis in a single sitting source: bbc.com \| share:	27
		Nothing like having to apologize after your private conversation mocking human douche Morrissey went across the air. Bonus: It was so libelous no one is reprinting it source: standard.co.uk \| share:	36

Mon May 18, 2020
(The National)		Turns out that being a beloved, best-selling author doesn't mean that you can't do absolutely, insanely stupid things during a pandemic. We're looking at you, Neil Gaiman source: thenational.scot \| share:	60

Sun May 17, 2020
		Over 50,000 people want Piers Morgan fired. That few? (possible nsfw content on page) source: express.co.uk \| share:	15
		How to tell if Trump is lying. Meghan Trainor unavailable for comment source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	46

Sat May 16, 2020
		Ellen Degeneres is about to show the world how mean she really can be if she hears another mean story about how mean she really is source: doyouremember.com \| share:	161
		All these crazy alien creatures in Star Wars, The Mandalorian decides to add an Olyphant source: hollywoodreporter.com \| share:	75
		Judge rules that woman can sue Edward Norton over production of Motherless Brooklyn. The other four people who saw it are willing to settle for a ticket refund source: nypost.com \| share:	13

Fri May 15, 2020
		Food sales, food shortages, food excesses, weird food flavors, and of course Florida Man are all on the Fark Weird News Quiz, April 26-May 2: Dead Chunk of Tree Edition source: fark.com \| share:	20
		Trump: "I've never lost anybody to the flu." Trump's grandfather, who died from the flu in 1918, unavailable for comment source: indy100.com \| share:	60
		James Harrison says Mike Tomlin gave him an envelope 10 years ago source: cleveland19.com \| share:	30
		Why not both? source: hindustantimes.com \| share:	4

Thu May 14, 2020
		With Harley-Davidson stock price crashing, the new CEO is making a HOG of himself source: barrons.com \| share:	20
		Talking sh*t to Stone Cold Steve Austin for wearing a mask? Bad idea, son source: god.dailydot.com \| share:	97
		If you have already heard "larval pleasure tube" combined with "very light wear" and only "gently used" today, collect your prize source: vice.com \| share:	6
		If you tweet, "Do I have to show the lame security guard outside of a ghetto store my Covid-19 test results? I will show him my Glock 21 shooting range results," you might not want to work for a law firm nor use your real name on social media source: dfw.cbslocal.com \| share:	84
		And now, Bill Murray in his bathtub source: independent.co.uk \| share:	2
		And now, Bill Murray in his bathtub source: independent.co.uk \| share:	2
(Some Guy)		Toucan Sam of Fruit Loops fame has been reimagined for the new millennium, and the Internet is of course unhappy about it. Something something CalArts style source: noisetrend.com \| share:	63
		The official council for the French language rules coronavirus acronym is feminine. La Covid-19 est de la merde source: independent.co.uk \| share:	14
		Ha$ Jeff Bezo$ become the world'$ fir$t trillionaire? $urvey $ays, if not now, then $oon source: independent.co.uk \| share:	9
		A lot of us are getting into new things during shelter-in-place; what's the last thing you did for the first time? source: fark.com \| share:	70

Wed May 13, 2020
		What celebrity would you like to record a voicemail message for you? And what would it say? source: fark.com \| share:	43
		Well, it looks like "Snowball" is going to need a bath after being rescued from the sewer system source: cincinnati.com \| share:	4
		Article: Corona is not having a hard time marketing her music. Luckily, she is maintaining a good sense of humor about her now-famous last name source: dallasobserver.com \| share:	8
		Farker of 17 years passed away last week. We hope the message boards where you've gone are already filled with your snark. Goodbye, Sid_6.7 source: fark.com \| share:	165
		Farker of 17 years passed away last week. We hope the message boards where you've gone are already filled with your snark. Goodbye, Sid_6.7 source: fark.com \| share:	165
		Jared refuses to rule out postponing the presidential election in November source: nytimes.com \| share:	105

Tue May 12, 2020
		Trump campaign advisor: "This is coronavirus press conference number, what, probably somewhere in the 50s? POC liberal women have been present at every one of them and asked stupid questions. Sometimes for HOURS." Dogs barked source: mediaite.com \| share:	62
		And now, some words from the President of the United States, with interpretive visual commentary by Sarah Cooper source: twitter.com \| share:	41
		Vice President Pence receives good news as prayers are answered source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	50
		Conor McGregor wants to fight again, this time with UFC interim lightweight champion Justin Gaethje source: espn.com \| share:	11
		Crap: New COVID-19 outbreak in Wuhan. Holy Crap: Public health authorities respond by preparing to test the entire population of 11 million people. Holy Crap x2: In only ten days source: reuters.com \| share:	195

Mon May 11, 2020
		I am the NRA, and I stomp all over the Do Not Call Registry to flog memberships source: apnews.com \| share:	29
		Indiana's Attorney General not actually an attorney for the next 30 days which seems be the very definition of a "slap on the wrist" given that the Bar found "clear and convincing evidence that he committed the criminal act of battery" on four women source: thehill.com \| share:	29
		No, I did NOT say a Hobbit found Legolas source: nwfdailynews.com \| share:	16
		Man who wanted to fight his wife with sword demands she get a psychological evaluation source: apnews.com \| share:	49
		Amazon weighs in on exclusive theatrical release windows source: variety.com \| share:	19

Sun May 10, 2020
		Sheriff believes deputies who took pictures of dead bodies at Kobe Bryant crash site deleted the pics, because they said they did. Also it appears that sharing pics of dead bodies at bars isn't as good at getting you laid as cops thought it would be source: lawandcrime.com \| share:	98

Sat May 09, 2020
		GIF thread? GIF thread! source: fark.com \| share:	417
		GIF thread? GIF thread! source: fark.com \| share:	417
		South Dakota Gov Kristi Noem (R-epugnant) to Sioux tribes: you have 48 hours to remove your coronavirus checkpoints, or we'll send in the cavalry with smallpox-infested blankets source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	107
		Ooh, my soul. 2020 claims Little Richard source: independent.co.uk \| share:	176

Fri May 08, 2020
		Church files lawsuit to end social gathering limit, fails to appreciate irony of its name source: kshb.com \| share:	28
		Hockey guy apologizes for saying bad things on friend's Instagram which was "hacked" which as we all know, is the online form of blaming the media source: apnews.com \| share:	18
		VP B'Lyin source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	40
		White House "press secretary" Kayleigh McEnany, blames her past public statements criticizing Trump on the fact that she "naively believed" CNN's reporting about Trump...you know, when she was a paid commentator for the network? source: thehill.com \| share:	52
		U.S. to remove Patriots from Saudi Arabia, dealing yet another blow to Bill Belichick source: aljazeera.com \| share:	46
		My upstairs neighbors woke me up at 2:30 this morning with what I can only imagine is destructive pogo-stick testing. They will crash in a few hours and sleep till noon. What music should I start playing at 8:00 AM? source: fark.com \| share:	66
		My upstairs neighbors woke me up at 2:30 this morning with what I can only imagine is destructive pogo-stick testing. They will crash in a few hours and sleep till noon. What music should I start playing at 8:00 AM? source: fark.com \| share:	66

Thu May 07, 2020
		If you're going fishing, you should take along a fishing pole. Not four handguns, ammunition, and a suppressor source: hometownlife.com \| share:	64
		Why should Neiman Marcus and J.Crew have all the fun this week, ponders Nordstrom source: nj.com \| share:	8
		The economy may be in the crapper, but Oklahoma lawmakers are still getting their 35 percent pay raise source: kfor.com \| share:	35
		Detroit's 1000-bed field hospital, which never had more than 20 patients at a time, closing source: freep.com \| share:	103
		Detroit's 1000-bed field hospital, which never had more than 20 patients at a time, closing source: freep.com \| share:	103
		Trump admits his coronavirus response is causing a Pearl Harbor or 9/11 every day. Well he didn't actually say this but you know that is what you were thinking source: nypost.com \| share:	35
		Die deutsche Bundesliga-Saison beginnt am 16. Mai und ist die erste europäische Liga, die inmitten der Coronavirus-Pandemie wieder aufgenommen wird source: independent.co.uk \| share:	18
		You oughta know that Uncle Joey still supports that jagged little pill Aunt Becky source: inquisitr.com \| share:	34
		Gap sued over a gap in their rent at their midtown Manhattan store source: msn.com \| share:	10
		Acolytes of FREEDUMB, Trump, and Nurgle ask you to boycott Costco for forcing shoppers to wear masks while picking up a month's supply of toilet paper and $5 chicken. Those masks will prevent you from getting enough oxygen, claimed one source: businessinsider.com \| share:	198

Wed May 06, 2020
		Uber to lay off 3,700 full time workers, as the gig economy is apparently not Uber allies source: abc7news.com \| share:	7
		Confined within their own home penalty boxes, restless Minnesota Wild players create "Born to Be Wild" video source: twincities.com \| share:	0
		One of the sentences a judge does not imagine-much less welcome-writing includes the words 'butt shaking' in describing a lawyer's alleged actions at a mediation. Sadly, those words fit here source: news.bloomberglaw.com \| share:	20
		Fine, our ratings are low. Now get back to work royally f***ing everything up source: independent.co.uk \| share:	9
		"As soon as I saw you, I knew an adventure was about to happen." - A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh. This is your Fark Writer's Thread, magical adventures edition source: fark.com \| share:	15
		Indigo girl claims country music is heteronormative with distinct gender divisions. A Boy Named Sue unavailable for comment source: advocate.com \| share:	66
		Arkansas to host first socially distanced live U.S. concert after COVID-19, so get your tickets now for Jim-Jones-a-palooza source: spin.com \| share:	22
		TV viewers outraged by advert showing squirrel "humping" can of deodorant. That's just nuts source: independent.co.uk \| share:	27
		Here's a shock: Trump nominee is stupid and doesn't know stuff source: foxnews.com \| share:	65

Tue May 05, 2020
		Now, THIS is a reason to stay home and in bed, even if you can go back to work source: nerdist.com \| share:	13
		Trump Administration: "Alright, disband the taskforce. We've solved the COVID-19 problem once and for all". States: "But-" Trump Admin: "ONCE AND FOR ALL" source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	142
		Bath and North East Somerset Council aren't doing phrasing anymore source: somersetlive.co.uk \| share:	21
		These armed protesters demanding the economy reopen are going too far, says noted liberal commentator Sean Hannity source: yahoo.com \| share:	71
		An anonymous Farker gave me a month of TF. What is the best thing you've done anonymously? source: fark.com \| share:	42

Mon May 04, 2020
		Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake source: wsmv.com \| share:	79
		Michigan security guard shot, killed in dispute over face mask at Family Dollar. Meanwhile, heavily armed protesters walk around capital with no shots fired. Wonder what the difference could be? Hmmmmmm source: nbcnews.com \| share:	166
		I said, "Don't look, Ethel" But it's too late. She'd already been mooned source: app.com \| share:	29
		I said, "Don't look, Ethel" But it's too late. She'd already been mooned source: app.com \| share:	29
		How to get free (good) beer: Impersonate a Michigan governor while drinking Canadian beer source: freep.com \| share:	26
		Weedlord Bonerhitler is about to learn that consequences will never be the same source: engadget.com \| share:	45

Sun May 03, 2020
		Eve is trying to have a happy birthday but Villanelle is getting a present. Will Konstantin find himself subordinate to the vicious vengeful Villanelle? Will the two women meet anytime before the season's end? Killing Eve, 9PM ET on AMC source: tvline.com \| share:	6
		Maryland cancels $12.5M PPE order after realizing they'd contracted with profiteering GOP "consultants" source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	69
		Christine O'Donnell: Oh, Biden wasn't even at the 2008 First State Gridiron Dinner I've accused him of being a pervert at? Must've been the 2007 one. NARRATOR: Biden didn't attend that one either source: foxnews.com \| share:	253

Sat May 02, 2020
		The underboob dress is a thing now? I guess I could take a look (safe for work unless naked hands covering boobs offends you) source: news.com.au \| share:	127
		Joey Pants hit by car source: foxnews.com \| share:	25

Fri May 01, 2020
		How strange. All the prisoners at the federal prison Michael Cohen is at who were were granted home confinement due to coronavirus have lost those privileges and will remain behind bars. I wonder whatever could have happened? source: abcnews.go.com \| share:	37
		I've got 25 Farks2give and some time on my hands. Anyone that wants or needs one stop in and say hi. I'll hook you up with a month till I'm out source: fark.com \| share:	70
		Raiders win legal battle to relocate. This is not a repeat from 1982 source: reviewjournal.com \| share:	17
		Steve Mnuchin requestimng Americamn taxpayers to returmn stimulus checks semnt to dead relatives source: marketwatch.com \| share:	49
		"A handful of kids have developed dangerous inflammation around the heart and other organs. It's similar to a rare condition called Kawasaki disease." Yamaha, Honda, Suzuki diseases unavailable for comment source: nbcnews.com \| share:	68
		Louisiana GOP vote by mail to block voting by mail source: independent.co.uk \| share:	37

Thu April 30, 2020
		A few million here, a few million there, soon you're talking about real people not using our product source: theverge.com \| share:	0
		Much like Trump, Gronk was only kidding source: espn.com \| share:	14
		Paul LePage is tired of letting Gov. Janet Mill borrow his state, will take it back. "LePage denounced the 'authoritarian' Mills as 'insane' for listening to medical experts" source: newsweek.com \| share:	34

Wed April 29, 2020
		This year's Toronto cherry blossom bloom will be viewable via the "Bloomcam" - a 24 hour webcam that is being carried by Roger's which has a long history of high quality +++Buffering...+++ source: cp24.com \| share:	7
		Only one state has earned a grade of 'F' in terms of social distancing activity. Only one Southern state, just one state, Wait, it's not Florida? The hell? source: foxcarolina.com \| share:	49
		Colorado man wins two $1 million dollar lotteries on the same day. He and the four chicks he recently met are unavailable for comment source: wral.com \| share:	26
		Gigi Hadid expecting first child. fb- expecting paternity suit source: etonline.com \| share:	17
		Roy Horn of 'Siegfried and Roy' fame tests positive for coronavirus, Carole Baskin unavailable for comment source: pagesix.com \| share:	13
		Ugly-ass baby bison born at Wanuskewin Heritage Park. Is first one born there in nearly 150 years. Just how old DO bison get? source: thestarphoenix.com \| share:	6
		What day is it? source: wfsb.com \| share:	26

Tue April 28, 2020
		Tupac is alive and well and unemployed in Kentucky. Biggie is still unavailable for comment source: amp.courier-journal.com \| share:	19
		When he confronted the driver he cut off he was doing so in self defense and they should just get over it, he really needed to get to Sam's Club source: lehighvalleylive.com \| share:	23
		About that Trump debt to the Bank of China source: mediaite.com \| share:	31
		Nurse creates see-through face masks so that deaf father would be able to read lips during birth of his daughter source: independent.co.uk \| share:	4
		Nurse creates see-through face masks so that deaf father would be able to read lips during birth of his daughter source: independent.co.uk \| share:	4
		Barry reflects on his relationship with Iris, then a 1910 boarding house accommodates a couple of Legends on new episodes of The CW's The Flash at 8PM EDT and Legends of the DC Universe at 9 source: tvline.com \| share:	25
		"Diamond and Silk" were fired from "Fox Nation" for spreading conspiracy theories about Covid-19 including, that it was a bio-engineered weapon being deliberately spread and the 5G nonsense. So, of course, the President goes to bat for them source: politico.com \| share:	92